Ep #162: Making Offers: Rules from a Dating Course

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey, coaches, welcome to episode 162. I have a fun episode planned for you today. We’re going to talk about making offers rules that came from a dating course that I once took and actually how I met my husband. And the mindset that I had to get into in order to meet my husband, it’s a very similar mindset that you have to get into in order to meet your first client, or to sign more clients. And so, we’re going to dive into that today.

And I just want to offer to you, if you have not signed up for 2K for 2K there really is not a better time. We’re in a brand new year. I know you have brand new goals and we’re doing Making Offers Bootcamp right now. So, at the time that you’re hearing this episode we are two weeks in to Making Offers Bootcamp. So those first two replays will be available to you. You can watch them in our member portal, or you can listen to them on our private podcast. And you can still get in on over a month of this bootcamp with the entire 2K community.

So, we have our regular weekly coaching call on Mondays where you can get coaching on any part of the 2K process, and selling, and marketing, and making money, and consultations, and overcoming objections, and all the things with your business, your offers. And then we have Making Offers Bootcamp call where we’re specifically directly focusing on you being out there making offers to other humans. To coach them in your selling experience, whether it’s your marketing, or if you’re on a consult, making that offer for your client to make a decision on the call.

We’re coaching on all of that. And what’s going to come up is not just the thoughts required to make offers and to be in a state where you’re making high quality offers, and the things that create low quality offers. But we’re also going to be coaching on your thoughts about your offer. I have talked a lot about this since offer week is what happens is we decide what our offer is. So, we decide, I’m selling let’s say six months of coaching at $6,000. I’m selling it to doctors and I have a pan full, and that’s it, that’s my options. That’s your offer.

And you’re helping doctors, I am coming up with this right now off the top of my head, you’re helping doctors de-stress. So that’s your offer. So, there is your offer and then you go out into the selling experience of that offer, and you are faced with two things. And I have said this before on the podcast, your thoughts, and any reservations that you have around your offer, any thoughts you think other people might be thinking about your offer that keeps them from buying.

And any thoughts that you have that make you kind of indecisive around what you’re actually offering, how much for how long, to who, and what results you’re offering. And some of you, many of you, you feel your thought about your offer is I don’t know what direct result I’m offering. So, if that’s a thought that you’re having, come into 2K, we will help you with that. You can get help with that on the Making Offers call. You can get help with that on our weekly coaching call, and the Facebook community.

Offer week is available on replay so you can go through the whole thing and learn your irresistible offer protocol and learn exactly how to get out of that thought and how to decide what result you’re offering simply. You can also go to Ask a Coach every single day and coach on that. It’s one of the big ones for most of you is you get stuck in that thought, is I don’t know exactly what result I’m offering. So, whatever it is, you’re out there making your offers and you have lots of thoughts for yourself about your decisions around your offer and the parts of your offer.

You have thoughts about what other people’s thoughts are about your offer. And then you might get on a consult with someone and then they give you their thoughts about your offer. And if you’re not super clear and clean, and when I say clean I mean that you have resolved these thoughts in your own mind, you’re going to attempt to, you’re going to be tempted to – try to say both of those at the same time. You’re going to be tempted to believe their thoughts and agree with them. So, we’re going to be coaching on all of that.

The goal of that, the result of that is to get you more consults, more highly qualified consults and to get quicker decisions on your consults. And if you do this process correctly, and I don’t even want to say correctly, when you get more proficient in this process more of those decisions will be yeses.

So, we’re doing that together as a community which means every conversation we’re having in the Facebook community is about this. So, you’re going to learn so much from other people’s experiences, so much from other people’s thoughts. Someone’s going to post something in the Facebook community and you’re going to realize, oh my God, I have that thought too.

Or you can go into Ask a Coach while we’re doing Making Offers Bootcamp and we categorize the answers that are submitted to the Ask a Coach questions based off of the modules in the 2K process. So, you can literally look up the questions that have already been asked about making offers and see the coaching and the answers given. So, you can learn so much ahead of time.

And then you don’t want to be stuck there, you want to go out and apply yourself as well and have your own experiences to add to the conversation. And there’s no better time to do that than when you have a community of people who are out there doing it with you to make you feel someone’s got your back and you’re not doing it alone. And you can go back and report back.

And you just know, it carries you to know that hey, a couple thousand other coaches are also doing this right now with me in this moment. And we’re all doing it together and it might be hard but we’re all working through this and we’re all creating results because of it. So, I just really want to invite you to be a part of that. We may never do it again. So far I’ve only done these types of things one time for each thing I do. So, I never say never but I want to make sure you get in on it.

And if you do join, if you listen to this podcast much after the bootcamp is over it will be available to you in replay, again, either under the bonuses section in the member portal where you can watch the videos, you can watch me coach live. Or it’ll be in the private podcast where you can listen to it, especially I recommend listening to them more than once so you can go back and catch the things that your brain wasn’t able to catch the first time around.

Okay, so having said that, let’s dive in. I thought this would be a fun podcast to do. Because it’s going to take your brain kind of out of the business brain and help you understand this in a different area of life when it comes to love, and it comes to dating. Whether you’re married or you’ve been in a committed relationship for a long time or whatever it is. Maybe you’re not actively out there dating yourself. That’s okay, you probably remember what that might have been like, or you can imagine what it would be like.

And I’m just going to tell you, the lessons I learned from a dating course and how it directly impacted. I took this course right at the beginning of my business. I think I had two clients. And I took this course, and I did not take it and try to immediately implement it into my business mindset. I wasn’t trying to do that. It just once I grasped it, when it came to dating then it was just in my experience, and I deeply understood it. And so, it showed up in other areas for me. I was able to apply that understanding to other places. So, I’m just going to talk you through it. It’s really simple.

There are eight rules, I had to go count them. There are eight rules that the course had. I’ll tell you what course it is too, but there were eight main rules that I pulled from it that really helped me have such different energy when I was marketing and out there actually making offers. Okay, so this will be super fun.

So, I’ve talked about this coach before, her name is Rori Raye, straight out of the 60s or 70s. I don’t even know if she’s still coaching. But you can buy her course still to this day. And she has a bunch of different ones. You can either buy all of them or individual ones. And there was one about circular dating.

And so, this concept of circular dating, I’m going to tell you what the rules were. And those rules are what I applied to making offers and marketing in such a helpful way. And I’m going to tell you the mindset behind them and what it does for you as well. And I want to encourage you to adopt them. Okay, so let’s just dive in, here they are.

So, number one, the first rule of circular dating is that you have to talk to and date 10 guys at the same time. They’re what make up your ‘dating circle’, circular dating. Now, I never achieved this. I was traveling full-time 100%. So, I wasn’t really in the space where I could consistently date 10 people at the same time. However, and a lot of you guys do this with making offers and marketing in your business, you’re like, “Well, I live in a really remote town so I can’t go to networking events.” Or, “I don’t like social, or I’m not good at technology so I can’t be online.”

You have to find a way to make it work for you and apply it for you. So, with this rule for me it was like I always had to be talking to at least 10 guys at once or as many as I could be talking to that interested me. Because we’ll talk about some more rules here in a second. But I was on Tinder and Facebook Messenger. And so, I would just be talking to people. And many of the guys I never met. We never made it that far based on the next rules I’m going to tell you about. And I think that’s really important to hear is 90% of the guys I talked to I never went on one date with, 90%.

90% of those conversations didn’t lead to any sort of attempt at a relationship. Maybe they lasted back and forth for a couple of weeks and then fell off. Sometimes they fell off immediately. And sometimes it was within a matter of days or a matter of weeks, but they didn’t all progress to a date, a second date, a third date, a fourth date, so on and so forth. But the idea was you were always bringing new people in. So, I want you to think about that, just that idea that you’re always bringing new people in. And you’re not getting attached to any one person.

So here was the second rule is that you had to treat them all the same. What? So, you couldn’t be like, “Well, I like this person more so I’m going to respond to them more often.” Or, “This person I’m going to allow this thing with but not this person.” You couldn’t be having sex for example with one person, not the other. The rule was kind of just not to have sex. But you had to treat them with the same level of importance. You had to treat them with the same level of attention. You couldn’t show preferential treatment.

You couldn’t decide one guy was more attractive or was a better fit for you than the other guys. This is so important when you’re making offers in marketing. I hear this all the time. I see this a lot with network marketers about the dream client list. Burn it immediately. That’s a list of just a bunch of people you’re completely biased about. What? And coaching is about being unbiased. It’s about having an unbiased opinion. And selling, you sell at your highest level when you are clean, which means unbiased. So, in 2K we talk about clean selling when you are unbiased in your selling.

So, the moment you think someone would be the perfect client for you, a dream client, you would love to work with them, you guys would make magic together, you could really help this person. When you have this idea of this person that can really bias you. Now, I do want to say because I’m thinking this through that some of you are going to be like, “Wait a minute, Stacey, well, what about your best clients and your client filters?” That’s a little bit different. You can have an entry point, a barrier for entry for who you talk to.

So, for example, it wouldn’t be necessarily unbiased if you just said, “I have a standard, I don’t date anyone who’s unemployed.” Or some people feel really strongly they don’t date people with kids. That wasn’t for me a thing but I do know people who are very adamant, I don’t think I could date someone with kids, whether they don’t want kids or they don’t want someone else’s kids, whatever. That’s the first one that came to mind but whatever it is. You can have standards that okay, I don’t talk to anyone that falls below that standard or doesn’t meet that standard.

But for the sake of this argument, we want to just say you treat them all the same. For me, coach all my clients the same. I have a couple of coaches who are my clients, who are my friends. I don’t coach them any differently than a coach I don’t hang out with outside of our coaching relationship. Coach everybody the same, everybody gets the same Stacey. Alright, so you have to treat them all the same and you have to cut them out at the first red flag. So, I did just talk about standards. So, you would have red flags, things you would consider red flags.

For me, it was any sort of talk that felt like cat calls. That’s the only way I can describe it. I got a lot of those on Tinder. I don’t remember what they were but just what I felt was disrespectful language towards me. And so if their greeting to me was very – I really can’t think of anything. But I remember – I’m trying to think of what were some of the ones but I guess it doesn’t matter. But there were a lot. There were a lot where I would be like, “Why would you ever talk to me this way? Why would you ever greet me that way.”

It would be like if someone whistled at you. You guys probably know what I’m talking about if you are out there dating. If someone sends you a message and it feels like a whistle. It’s the verbal equivalent of a whistle. That’s not cute. So those were some red flags. And sometimes I didn’t have the red flags written right away. It wasn’t necessarily that you had to prewrite them and know what they were. It’s just the first, you had to be looking for them, the first thing that turns you off. So, I’ll give you another example.

I remember one guy got really mad because I wasn’t in town, I was traveling. And I had business going on and I couldn’t meet him for a date. And he was very put off by my business and by my inability to go out on a physical date with him within a certain amount of time. And it was a red flag to me, any guy who was very triggered by my business was a no.

And ironically one of the things that stood out to me about my husband the most is he was always the most accommodating. His ego didn’t get really riled up with my business. He was just like, “Oh yeah, you only have two hours free tonight, and you have a night call, a coaching call, that’s fine. I’ll pick you up, I’ll make sure you’re home 15 minutes early so that you’re not rushing and so you have time to get water, and relax, and get logged in and be present for your call.” He was always totally fine. “You have to go out of town, not a problem.”

And so, if a guy felt like he was in competition with my business that was a red flag, and he was out. So, you had to cut them out at the first red flag, not the second, or the third, or the fourth, the first red flag. So, I want you to imagine if the same were true for coaching relationships.

So, for me one of them with – I don’t run my Instagram anymore so it’s not me that responds, my team responds. But if someone messages and says they had a really negative relationship with a past coach and they want to tell me all about the past coach and sell me on how horrible the past coach or program was, that’s a red flag to me.

What I know to be true is if I take advantage of that, if I say, “Oh, well, this is why 2K will be different, or this is why 200K will be different.” What I know is that I’ve let them keep that story and keep that belief that a program can be bad, and they can be harmed by a program. And they’re just going to believe the same shit about my program. So, for me that’s a red flag. We don’t usually respond to those. But if we do we usually point it out. We point out the way that they’re thinking about the past program and how that could show up in the current program.

And that they’re thinking about buying and they need to clean that up before they purchase. So, to cut them out the first red flag. If you’re on a consult, maybe that looks like the first indication that coaching is not the right fit for them. In 2K we talk about some red flags of when someone just isn’t a candidate for coaching. And maybe they need something else like therapy intervention. They need a trauma specific coach. If you’re a business coach for example, and someone has a lot of heavy stuff in their life, maybe they’re not a good fit for your business coaching.

In 200K we don’t life coach in that room. So, you have to be at a place in your mind where you can be a 100% focused on your business. And if you need additional therapy or trauma work, you’re seeking that outside of the room. And if you’re not seeking that outside of the room and you’re in the room and it holds you back in the room you likely won’t be able to stay in the room because it’s not healthy for the person or the entire room.

So, you just have to be aware of what are those red flags. And then be willing to release the reins, let go of, not attach, or try to sell those people that have those red flags. So that’s the third rule.

And the fourth rule is that you have to replace them right away. This one is so good. So, for those of you who feel like I don’t have any new leads, leads have dried up, there’s no one around me that I’m even talking about coaching with, I’m not having any conversations. There’s nothing that feels like it can materialize into a client. That’s because you’re not talking to enough people, because you’re not cutting them out and then replacing them right away. Or you’re at least not talking to enough people and then replacing them when those conversations fall off.

And this happens within your coaching business too. Say you sign 10 clients, 20 clients, you feel like you’re full or you’re doing really well, a lot of times that’s when coaches take their foot off the gas and they stop selling, and they stop making offers, and they stop marketing. And then what happens is those clients, maybe they have a renewal coming up, they don’t renew. And all of a sudden they have all these spots open, and they have no leads. And they’re like, “Oh, crap, I haven’t been selling my coaching. I need to get out there and do that.”

And now there is this lag period between money coming in because they spent four, five or six months not making offers and just serving the people they have and not thinking about replacing those people. Versus for me I would go out there, I was always having conversations with people. I was always creating value. I was always posting on social or sending emails, putting out value in the world, holding a free training, whatever it was.

I was always putting something out in the world and then having conversations and making offers to where if someone, let’s say, you know, I used to do payment plans. If someone quit I would have someone else ready immediately to come in and fill that spot. Or at least I would have leads that could materialize into someone coming in and filling that spot.

So, I always joke, if someone quit I always ended up making more money because at that point my prices had probably raised, and I’d bring someone in at the new price instead of the old price because I was also signing year and 18 month packages. So, I was always replacing people. So, you have to think about are you out there talking to enough people and are you replacing the interest when it either stops, or goes away, or replacing the clients, are you doing that work at the same time?

Okay, so the fifth rule is that you don’t commit until you are both sure. It keeps you, you have to stay curious. That’s the goal of this is you have to keep staying curious. So, a lot of times what you guys do before consults or on consults is you commit in your mind that this is the person that you’ve got to coach. And again, it biases you and it makes you latch onto that person. So, in the coaching program for circular dating the goal was to not latch on and think some guy is the one when he hasn’t done the same.

Women are notoriously bad about that, we fall in love faster. We are wanting, usually we are wanting to commit more quickly. And we just decide that this guy is the guy, even though he has a million red flags. And he’s not really the right guy. And we try to settle. Or even if he is the right guy, we just commit too soon before they have committed, our feelings grow faster and then you end up in this uneven place in a relationship where someone’s giving more than the other, the other person feels that. They feel the pressure, they pull away.

And the person comes in and pushes even harder to pull them back towards them which pushes them away even more. And then relationships fall apart and end because of this, when one person commits faster than the other person. And the same is true in coaching.

If someone reaches out to you and has interest in your coaching and all of a sudden you commit in your mind, this is going to turn into a consult. And this person is going to potentially become a client and I might make money. Immediately now you have gone into this energy that’s very forward pushing. It’s very forward leaning. It has you as being the pursuer instead of the pursued. And remember, when we think about being a professional coach, someone who is a professional is someone who is pursued, not the pursuer.

We allow people to come to us as professionals. So, the moment that you start committing ahead of time and you decide, even on the consult you decide someone is going to be your client and you’re not in that place of staying curious, and questioning, and qualifying. It’s not about questioning them so that you maintain some sort of stature on the call and where you’re like, “Sell me.” It’s just that you’re staying curious and you’re qualifying.

You’re making sure this person is qualified to be the best student, make the most use out of your offer, get the results they’re coming for, if they’re ready, if coaching is the right fit for them, and if they’re emotionally prepared and in a place where they can handle coaching. It’s like you’re sitting there, you’re just thinking about their problem. You’re thinking about can I help this person? Do I want to help this person? Do I believe deeply inside of me that I can? You’re just staying curious and not committing.

So, the next rule is that you always have to have backup plans. You can never be waiting around. And you have to make them as exciting as the plans you had with the person. So, for example, if you were circular dating and you had a date scheduled, you always had to have something equally fun in the books to do in case that person didn’t show up, if they cancelled or there is a red flag that made you have to leave the date. You had to have something that you would be, “I could do this instead and I was equally excited about this.”

This is so good to apply to your coaching business. If you have a consult booked, you have to have something as equally, equally as exciting, equally as interesting to do as doing the consult. Now, that could be a challenge in your brain. It makes you step up your desire and your excitement about the other things that you might do in your business. Maybe that’s jumping on a coaching call. Maybe that’s getting out there and making more offers.

Can you make making offers and giving value and showing up to meet new people as exciting as a consult that has potential for someone to buy? Really that’s the thought that makes you excited about it is, this is the potential to have a client. This is the potential to have money. The same could be true about other activities. So, you could create interest for yourself that is just as high as those things and then you have to go do them instead of eating cookies on the couch, or scrolling mindlessly on Facebook, or consuming from a place of feeling bad and trying to pick yourself back up.

If you have equally as exciting plans you won’t need to pick yourself back up. Maybe you’re equally and exciting plans are to self-coach yourself. I don’t know, you get to decide, but you always have backup plans.

Okay, number seven is you have to say yes to everyone, that was the rule. So, anyone who was interested in you, you had to be interested in them. And you had to learn why you attracted them. So early on I got some, what I would have said were weirdo people, not my type, or not my, yeah, just not my type guys that would ask me out. And I had to show up and go on a date with them, that’s the rule, say yes to everyone, and be interested in this person. And learn why they were attracted to me or how I brought them into my aura, how I brought them into my energy, into my world.

And that taught me how to be interested in other people on a really deep level, to look past my surface judgments, to look past what I think is pleasing, or what I think is attractive, or what I think is for you all the best client, or the dream client, or the perfect person to work with. To be willing to look at everyone.

I remember coaching someone, this was years ago but they were saying how the people they were attracting in their funnel were not the type of people that they wanted to work with. And I was like, “What if they were? What if you were just totally in love with those people and very interested and you wanted to get to know them, and understand them, and work with them, and you wanted them to buy from you, what would that look like?”

I think you have to do this work before you can ever do best client work, and creating standards, because a lot of those, if you’re not careful, will be created just based on your own biases of who you just think is naturally pleasing to you. And you might say, “But, Stacey, don’t you think that my clients, I should have this natural attraction to them so that the coaching relationship is easy?” And I would say, no. Remember I said on maybe last podcast, I think it was last podcast, we’re not here to be friends, we’re here to get results.

You’re not creating a club or a sorority. It’s a coaching business. Think of it like therapy. Therapists don’t just choose, these are the people that I help in therapy. You help everyone. You do the work to enjoy coaching and the work you do regardless of who you’re doing it with. That shouldn’t matter. So, you talk to everyone, not just the people that you think have money, who you think would be interested in coaching. A lot of you guys choose your niche to be coaches just because you think that coaches will be easier to sell, they’re already bought into coaching.

And then you’re saying no to everyone else, you’re not even giving people a chance, that might want to be coached and might want coaching. So, I want you to be willing to say yes to everyone, even people who, if they are in – now, here’s my caveat. If it’s a weird dude and you’re a woman, you don’t have to say yes to that. There are some creepers online, they give you a red flag. Remember, you cut them out at the first red flag, that’s another rule.

But if it’s this person just doesn’t feel like they’re my energy or it feels like they have a lot of work to do, they have a lot of problems. They’re going to be a difficult client. I’m overwhelmed by everything going on for them. Just be willing to be interested in them, to be engaged with them and their problem, and to desire to solve it with them regardless of how their personality is or what your initial judgments are about them.

The same with networking, when you’re out there talking to people, don’t just go up to the people that are the easiest to talk to, talk to everyone – everyone. And be willing to be interested even with the people who are the more – I want to say either more difficult or the most difficult for you to find interesting or to find common interest, try harder. Say yes to every conversation. Say yes to every opportunity. It’s going to get you very uncomfortable and that’s a good thing.

If you haven’t read Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes, get out there and get it. This is several years old but it’s all about saying yes to all of the things, even the things you wouldn’t normally say yes to. So, you want to say yes to everyone.

Alright, and the last one is you can’t, and this is a good one, you cannot fall in love with potential. You have to fall in love as is. So, a lot of times the way this shows up for you all when you’re making offers, especially if you’re not clean and you have some desperation happening, and you’re really wanting to sign a client, you might be scrolling Facebook. And you might think this person’s posting about this problem, and they haven’t really asked for help. They’re just posting to the world. And I’m going to comment and tell them I can help them with that.

No, that’s you falling in love with their potential. That’s you thinking potentially this person could be a qualified applicant or a qualified client. Potentially this person could be a good fit for coaching. Who’s the best fit for coaching? The people who are interested in what you’re offering, they’re coming to you. So, you’re out there just giving value to the world whether it’s writing emails, posting on social, offering perspective in Facebook groups. You’re maybe writing blogs or podcasting. You’re out there doing lots of things.

You’re going to networking events. You’re talking to people, you’re telling them what you do and how you help people. It’s very similar to committing too early or only saying yes to people who are very pleasing to you, the dream client scenario. We’re not committing and falling in love with the dream client. We’re looking at where they are right now, are they a good fit, are they qualified, would I want to offer to do a consult with them? For me it had to do with less about I could really help them and more about if they were interested in me helping them.

Do you guys hear the difference in that? Less about me feeling I could really help you and more about them being curious about me helping them. So, if I didn’t see that someone was leaning forward towards me with curiosity, and questions, and interest, then I didn’t lean towards them to sell and to make offers for them. That’s falling in love with potential. So, I’m going to tell you guys the rules again and I’m going to tell you, I’ve already kind of walked you through these but I’m going to tell you why these are so important.

Okay, so you have to talk to 10 people at once minimum, to always be talking to people. You have to treat them all the same. You have to cut the conversation off or not offer coaching at the sign of the first red flag. Replace them right away with new people, new fresh energy coming in. You don’t commit until you are both sure and you stay very curious. Let me just say this one more on this one, on the don’t commit until you’re both sure. This means for me I don’t commit until someone has actually made the payment and showed up to their first call.

I would hold space that they were coming, for sure, I would stay in belief, of course they’re going to pay, even if it was the morning of and they still hadn’t made their payment, I’m like, “They’re going to pay, they’re just waiting until the last minute, that’s what they always do.” So, I always believed that, but I didn’t get so committed and wrapped up in it that I would get so disappointed if someone didn’t pay, if someone decided to back out. If they said yes and then sent an email later, I wasn’t crushed.

How you know you’ve committed before they have is if you’re crushed if they change their mind, if you’re crushed that they email you, that they don’t show up to the call, that they don’t show up to the consult. You know you’ve committed before they have versus staying open. And remember, the next one is always have backup plans. So, you always have plans, so it’s never like that was my one opportunity for the week. You always have backup plans, you say yes to everyone, and you don’t fall in love with potentials.

I want you to imagine if you apply these rules to your marketing and to making offers out there in the world. Offering to help people, just really think about that. Here’s what will happen if you do this if you follow these rules. They will keep you from going all in on one specific person and attaching to them out of lack and insufficiency. We talk a lot about this in 2K, there are a lot of exercises. I don’t just talk at you and teach you about lack and insufficiency. I have you coach yourself through it. I help coach you through it.

There are actual activities and exercises where you can take yourself from insufficiency to sufficiency. We talk a lot about that in the clean selling modules. You have to get yourself clean. You have to get yourself out of, whether it’s lack of money, or lack of success, or status, whatever it is. You cannot get into the lack, or just lack of consults. And you’re constant fixating on not having consults, whatever it is that creates the lack insufficiency.

The more people you’re talking to, the less you’re committing to them. The more open you are to being curious and talking to everyone, and being interested in everyone. And not falling in love with one specific person, or opportunity, or believing deeply in one specific outcome from one specific person. When you’re doing that you’re going to carry more sufficiency with you.

What it also does especially when you are the principle of saying yes to everyone and being interested in learning why you attracted someone, that idea, that concept will keep you or allow you to learn more about what you like and what you don’t like. Because you’ll be more exposed to more people, especially if you actually, those people pay you and you coach them. You coach a wide range of people that aren’t just your initial immediate, I love this person, I’m really connected to them. I find connection to them easily.

When you are willing to find the connection to them in the consult, when you’re willing to connect with them even if it’s difficult in the beginning you’re going to just learn so much about yourself and so much about what really doesn’t matter, as much as what does. That’s why I say you want to wait to do client filters, and client standards, and only work with your best clients. Because I don’t think you know who that is until you’ve done this work.

Because my standards and my filters are never about someone’s personality. They’re always about something that is happening for that person that I have already proven to be true over, and over, and over as not a good fit for the current container I’m offering.

So, for example in 200K, we are really adamant about we only accept coaches who are not working full-time, do not have other businesses that they are managing actively. And the only thing they do is coaching. And a lot of people want to break this rule, they think it’s unfair. They want to be the exceptions. And time and time again, people sneak in every once in a while, they either omit things to us which we don’t recommend because when we find out sometimes we kick people out for that.

They either omit things or our application’s pretty clear to be asking that question. But somehow people have submitted them in the past, it always, always, always shows up and is not good for the group and is not good for them, every time. They can’t fully take in the coaching. They can’t fully take direction to move forward because of this other thing. And then they need coaching on it, it comes up in the room. And now everybody’s talking about it. So, the standards that we have are not we don’t like these people, these people aren’t pleasing to us.

We can’t connect with these type of people, it’s this has been proven to be true that this situation doesn’t work for this container. It’s very different. So, you will learn a lot more about that if you’re willing to let all types of people in and be interested in them and find connection with them. A lot of people ask me this, listen, you guys get to decide but people will ask me about coaching people of opposing either religious values, or political ideologies, or opposite sexes. Those are the three that come up the most as I don’t want to coach people that are the opposite of me or think differently than me.

And I just, I want to offer, you don’t have to at all, you can niche down and be like, “I only coach women. I only coach people of the Christian faith, or the Catholic faith, or the Muslim faith. Or you can niche down and come out as a very, either conservative coach, or a liberal coach, or the feminist coach. There are so many ways that you can position yourself that is very clear who you work with. You can do that especially if you already have a strong sense of what you want to do in the coaching world and who you want to help and who you don’t want to help.

I don’t think that’s a problem, but I do think it’s very interesting if you’re willing to coach anyone on anything, taking yourself to that place can be a very interesting place, not being handicapped in your coaching by someone else having the same views as you, or the same likes as you. I don’t need people to be fancy for me to coach them, like me. I don’t need them to like to buy designer purses. Who cares? I don’t need to connect with them on that level. I can find a different connection with them.

So, I just think it’s a really amazing opportunity when you say yes to everyone to let that come in and learn so much about the type of coach you can be. These rules also keep you neutral and unbiased, that’s the biggest thing. It keeps you clean. So, it keeps you neutral and biased, and out of lack and insufficiency, that’s the biggest thing. It makes your selling cleaner. It makes you less clingy when you’re talking to people, it makes your energy less needy. And it makes you more attractive to other people. It pulls people towards you instead of pushing people away.

If you are constantly out there making offers, marketing, meeting people in person, online and no one is ever reaching out to you, you’re doing something to push them away. And it’s your job to figure out what that is. Now, if you come into 2K, I feel like the whole program is set up for you to discover that. All the things you need to be doing and all the things you don’t want to be doing, all the thoughts you want to adopt, all the thoughts you don’t want to adopt.

We’re going to solve that and make it much easier for you but even within the program it’s still your job to not say, “I don’t know.” And to say, “This is my guess as to why I don’t have consults. Or this is my guess as to why people aren’t buying from me.” And to trust that that’s probably true. And most often it’s because you were either not neutral, not unbiased or you were in lack and insufficiency.

And then the last thing these rules do that I know is the reason I have the husband that I have now and the relationship I have now which feels like a relationship, the way I would describe it is a relationship without sacrifice, or accommodation. Not in the natural form that relationships require, like compromise, not saying that. But it doesn’t feel like there is any ounce of settling. My husband and I are perfect for each other. We talk about it all the time, we are the perfect complement to each other. I just love everything about him. And he loves everything about me for the most part.

We have our things that annoy each other but for the most part it feels like a winning the lottery relationship is how I would describe it where I got everything I wanted and 1,000 things I didn’t even know I wanted. And here’s why this is, this is what I truly believe. Is these eight rules keep you committed to your result that you want, that you’re aiming for no matter what. So, when you guys think, well, I can’t believe I can make 2K today because if someone has to pay me, they have to decide to coach in order for me to create my results and it’s simply not true.

That’s only true if you’re only talking to that one person. But what if you’re talking to 10 people? What if you’re talking to 100 people that are interested in your coaching? You’re following all these rules, you’re treating everyone the same, you’re not committing, you’re staying curious. You always have backup plans that are very exciting so everything in your life is very exciting, you are looking forward to every part of your day whether you make money or not. And you’re saying yes to everyone and connecting to everyone, finding a way to connect.

We talk about this in the consult modules. If you cannot find connection they won’t be able to either. So being able to connect and be interested, and find someone interesting as they are, not their potential, as they are, and you’re doing that all of the time consistently and you’re just constantly refilling your contacts, and your connections, you will be committed to the result you want, signing a client, a qualified client who pays you for the offer that you’re offering. When that means more to you than anything else, that’s when it will start happening.

When I was willing to say, “These are the things I want in a partner, and anyone that can’t fulfil that is just gone”, it made it so easy for my husband to stand out because he was just nailing all of it so effortlessly. And I was able to see that because I wasn’t falling in love with other people’s potential because I wasn’t committing to other situations, or other people, or even him right away, I was just so unbiased and so clear in my brain. I was able to see all of the things. And I didn’t get into a relationship that wasn’t right for me early out of lack and insufficiency or being biased.

I stayed and committed until he just stood out as the person that was an obvious yes. So, what if you stayed committed to making money and to signing qualified clients that come to you, that are interested in coaching, who are willing to do the work approaching you, and reaching out to you, and paying you, what if you were committed to that more than anything else? So, if someone cancels, your first thought is, they just weren’t my client because my client doesn’t cancel. They show up to the consult, they do the consult, and they pay so that just wasn’t my person.

So, I don’t need to be upset about it because they’re not my person. And I have 10 other people who are messaging me and wondering if I can help them with this, or they’re commenting on my posts. Or having coffee with this person tomorrow, and this person the next day, and then this person on Saturday. And then I’m going to this party I got invited to and I’m meeting up with this networking group. And I’m in this Facebook group and that Facebook group.

And if I get kicked out of a Facebook group because maybe I was being a little salesy and pursuing instead of being pursued. That’s okay, I have this other Facebook group over here. You are willing for you to make mistakes and for people to not be the ones. And you just stay committed to that result no matter what. That is everything. That’s the real deal, you all, when you’re committed to your result that you’re after regardless of how many people cancel, regardless of whether someone isn’t a good fit, you stay committed to I will make that money.

That is when your best ideas and your best energy will have the opportunity to emerge.

Okay, listen to this one a couple of times, be willing to do that and join us in Making Offers Bootcamp. I’m sure this episode will come up. We do have an entire module about making offers, making high quality offers and where your mindset and your energy has to be, and how to allow people to come to you and what does that look like when you’re out there making offers and allowing people to come to you. If you’re confused about that balance you need to get into Making Offers Bootcamp, we will be ready for you. Alright, I’ll see you next week.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.