Ep #270: Fighting for Her Life to Creating the Life of Her Dreams with Shayla King

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey, coaches, welcome to episode 270. I am really excited to talk to you all today. I have the most inspirational client here with me today who is the best storyteller who has an incredible story to tell, who is really going to light you up with sharing her coaching story, Miss Shayla King. How are you?

Shayla: Wonderful. Quite the introduction, I appreciate it.

Stacey: I know, I saw your face and I was like, what? This is true.

Shayla: Like she’s introducing herself.

Stacey: No. I mean people that are listening, they don’t know this. I’m going to have you say who you are and what you do. But what they don’t know is the reason I invited you on is, you were in 25K group and you shared your story with the group unintentionally really. You were just getting coaching. And we were all just crying and so moved deeply, deeply, deeply moved. And I have not been able to stop thinking about it since. There are stories that, I think we all have a story that connects us to becoming a coach.

But then when we hear other people’s stories, we’re like, “Whoa.” That to me, there are things that I know I did that I’m like, “How the eff did I do that? That’s so crazy.” But then I hear a story like yours and it really is, whoa, coaching is very profound. We can do life changing things with coaching. And I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it. So I’m so excited for everyone to be able to hear it.

I know that you lived it so it probably doesn’t maybe feel the same way. But I’m very, very excited for other people to hear it. So before we dive into it, tell everyone who you are. what you coach on, anything that you think would be relevant to them knowing about you.

Shayla: Yeah. So first I’ll say back on your last point, I do feel it. I feel like I got me to a life that I never knew was even possible for me. So I am the biggest believer in life coaching and you’ll hear some of my story today to kind of understand why and where I came from. But I couldn’t have even dreamt as big of the life that I’m living now. And that’s why I have to do it, to help others unlock it too. So I get fired up about it as well.

So I am Shayla King and I am an executive life coach. What I do is, I help people make more, work less and design a life that they love. It’s so important to me that we have all of those elements and it’ll kind of make sense as I go through my story. But I can give you a background and kind of my corporate journey where I came from and how I got to where I am.

Stacey: Yeah, let’s do it.

Shayla: So a girl from Kansas, I started out as an IHOP waitress and a call center employee. So all of your slinging knives in Walmart, made me think of my call center days getting hung up on, over and over and over again, so I get that. And I wasn’t supposed to do much with my life. My parents’ dreams were small and they thought they were huge. And for some reason I was just more ambitious than I should have been. So I used that ambition and what I used to think was a really good work ethic, which is actually called being a workaholic, to be able to climb that corporate ladder.

And so by 27, I had what you call the American dream. So I had the husband. I had the two kids. I had the two dogs. I was a global business leader for Spear which is bowing and it sucked. It was so hard. I was exhausted. I was physically ill. And it wasn’t the dream that I thought it was going to be. And so just a few months later, I ended up going through a messy divorce. I woke up one day and I had my wake-up call.

So I woke up in the morning and my arm was literally frozen, so bent at the elbow, my hand by my face, would not move. I thought I was permanently paralyzed. And so I had been diagnosed with several autoimmune diseases over the last couple of years before this. I went to my specialist. He had no idea what to do with me. He’s like, “Hold on, I want you to go to a waiting room, lay down for a little bit. I’m going to do some more research and we’ll figure out how to treat you.”

My dumb self said, “Okay, but, so there’s this meeting and I just have to go present real quick and then I’ll be right back.” And he looked at me like I was like a little green alien. And he’s like, “You can’t go to work, Shayla.” And I was like, “It’ll be real quick. I’ll be right back.”

Stacey: Was your arm paralyzed?

Shayla: Paralyzed, completely paralyzed, so sick. And I go in there, I hold a manila folder over my arm to try to hope that nobody notices. I mean, I know everyone’s had these moments in your career where you just feel like this is the thing. If I miss this one thing, it’s going to miss the whole opportunity for me. And you put all that pressure on yourself, and I did it all the time. I mean, it was always the most important thing. It was always the one you couldn’t miss, even though it really wasn’t.

And so I went there. I came back and he gave me some shots. It still didn’t work. He looked at me in the eye and Stacey, he said, “Shayla, if you do not slow down, you will die.” It’s coming back to me as I talk about it. But as I was driving home, I’m just bawling and I stop outside of daycare to pick up my two little girls. At this point I’m the sole breadwinner taking care of them, wondering what are they going to do if they don’t have me. And I’m holding on to the steering wheel just bawling. And in that moment, I promised myself I would figure it out.

And I said, “I’m not going to just live either, I’m going to live.” And so I always believe in my soul, that women, just like men, can have an amazing career, can be a phenomenal parent and can love their life and have energy and health. I knew it in my soul, but Stacey, at that time I had never seen it done. I had never seen one woman that had all three. But I wanted that for my children and I wanted them to know what was possible. So that was kind of my moment where I knew something had to give.

Stacey: Yeah, and what’s so crazy is that’s not even the big thing.

Shayla: I know. Yeah, there’s lots of other things, but we’ll stick with this and that for today. But yeah, so what I did then is I said, “Okay, there’s three things I have to figure out then.” So I started studying psychotically on three things. First, what makes some people more successful than others? Second, what makes some people happier than others? And then three, how do I fix my health so I have the energy that I need for this?

And so that’s where it really all started. And I just started taking pieces. A ton of it is mindset and life coaching practices that transformed my life. And I know that’s what you and I had started talking about, this is the power of life coaching. And so to me there’s three major things. If I had to say what are your top tools from life coaching that you think are most transformative for me and for my clients? And the first one is this idea that you are in control. You are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of your time and you are in control of your life. I had to learn that. It’s so much of subtle victim mentality.

Stacey: Yeah, 100%.

Shayla: Where you just feel bad about it. Why did this happen to me? And staying in the suck. And then when I realized that I actually control my own thoughts, that was life changing.

Stacey: So good. Okay, so hold on. I want to make sure that I am caught up. So this isn’t exactly the story that you told us on the call. So was this before or after you were hospitalized?

Shayla: Yeah, way before.

Stacey: This was way before. So we’re just not to that part of the story yet.

Shayla: Right.

Stacey: What? Okay, so I did not know all of this. So you found coaching before the story you told us?

Shayla: So I found coaching after I had already made it pretty far in the corporate ladder, but it wasn’t working for me. I used coaching to be able to do just what I do now. I work less, make more, designed a life I loved.

Stacey: And did you do that with corporate first? When did you become a coach? When did you decide, I’m going to do this for others? Am I just too far ahead?

Shayla: Yeah, you’re just joking there, but it’s coming, yeah.

Stacey: Okay, that’s okay.

Shayla: But one of the reasons that I primarily coach women in corporate is because there isn’t a lot of options out there to say you can love your life in corporate. I moved from a senior level global manager position all the way up to, I was leading M&A billion dollar deals. And coaching the CEOs on profitability and leadership and culture and leading DE&I for 45,000 people. It was a huge role and I worked less than I ever had. I didn’t miss a kid’s birthday. I didn’t miss an important field trip.

And I just want people to know, it’s available. You can love your life without quitting corporate. Now I’m not [inaudible] and I love coaches and that’s an amazing track too. So you can do either. I want people to know what’s available to them.

Stacey: So how did you find your first coach, when you were in that moment where you were going into your kid’s daycare and you’re like, “Something has to change.” What was the path between that moment to finding, I don’t know if it was your first coach or your first podcast or the first thing that started moving the needle?

Shayla: Yeah, so those three categories that I gave you earlier. I started finding who is the best at that in every category. So who has what I already want and how can I study them? And I studied every which way you can study, Stacey. I mean I had the biggest library you’ve ever seen. I listened to every podcast you’ve ever heard of. I did immersion training. I went in person to the Tony Robbins conferences. I did everything that you could do. And so I’ll fast forward. I got to know my favorite little trio, Stacey, Brooke and Amy, a little bit later. Stacey, Brooke and Amy, it’s what you need.

Stacey: Is it Brooke Castillo, Amy Porterfield and me?

Shayla: Yes, ma’am.

Stacey: Love it. I’m very honored, by the way, to be included amongst those women.

Shayla: So back then, I was doing all of the things that you could do, but, I mean, psychotically learn, on average, probably three or four hours a day.

Stacey: I was like that too. I was just binging in the best way. I stopped watching TV. I wasn’t listening to music in the car. It was just everything I could get into my ear. I don’t think I’d ever worked so much in my life at that time, put so much effort into my life, just showed up so much in my life. But I had more energy than I’d ever had before. It was just fueling this capability inside of me that I had never touched on, really. And I was a great student. I got two degrees in four years. I had a really great grade point average.

I was a successful person. I was the top salesperson in my industry. But just a different capability than I’d ever experienced before.

Shayla: 100%.

Stacey: Yeah, exact same.

Shayla: So I did all of the training. I started making all of those tweaks, a big piece of it too, was learning the confidence to say no, that this shit really doesn’t matter, it’s not that important. And then understanding that by saying no and slowing down, I could be much more strategic. I could stick with what I spend my time on. I could show up at a different level. I learned the idea of a self-concept. I said, “I want to be an executive.”

So I started watching the executives at my company seeing how different they behaved because at that time, Stacey, so totally the high productive hot mess mom. So whenever you talk about that hot mess persona, I’m talking, put makeup on while I’m driving.

Stacey: Oh yeah, I used to that too.

Shayla: All the fast food in the world for me and my kids, [crosstalk] picked up if people are coming over, the tags aren’t getting renewed on the car while I’m serving billion dollar businesses. It was stupid.

Stacey: Part of that is not hot mess mentality as much as social expectation of moms and people working. And to juggle it all, sometimes we’re doing those crazy things without realizing it, to try to show up and perform at the highest level, especially when we see everything as a priority, with everything being that way. Yes, there is some internal stuff, but it’s also just this expectation. I was thinking about what we expect of moms who are taking care of babies and working and there’s just a level of, why is no one talking about this? This is craziness.

Shayla: That’s all I talk about. You just hit the nail on the head and that is my favorite subject. It’s the shame that comes with it. They want you to work like you don’t have kids and be a parent like you don’t have a job. And then also be a great friend and a great daughter-in-law and a great this and a great housekeeper, and great all the things.

Stacey: And don’t dare complain.

Shayla: Well, that’s literally what I talk about is I’m like, “They teach us that we should be so grateful for what we have and not want more.” And just accept that these are the norms and just feel blessed and move on and shut up [crosstalk]. And what moms do is they’re like, “Well, what are you going to do? It’s just how life is.” And so that’s the empowerment piece that I want to teach them. Actually, you get to write your own next chapter.

Let’s create your self-concepts of who you’re going to be, how your life is going to look and we don’t care at all about anyone else’s expectations. As soon as you can let go of that, now, we can put back in the big rocks of the things that you care about in your life and give you, let me quote Stacey, luxurious amounts of time.

Stacey: I have to say this is not even my quote. This came out of Two Million Dollar Group when Catherine Morrison was in the group and she had said something about having luxurious amounts of time. We were like, “Oh my God, yes.” And that has just stayed with me forever. So we will give Catherine all the credit for that.

Shayla: Yeah. You’ve talked as well about with your friend mom group that you don’t feel guilty about self-care and spending time on yourself. I don’t think you realize how much of a 1%er thing that is.

Stacey: Yeah, I do hear that a lot.

Shayla: It is the best way possible. But that’s why I said, I didn’t have any role models for it at the time and I wanted to do it and all that people said is, “The audacity. Who does she think she is? She’s selfish. What kind of mom is she?” I mean, I had somebody say that I only worked because I like shoes.

Stacey: I love when people say that, yes, that is why I clock 40 hours away from my child.

Shayla: Or maybe I love it and I’m good at it. I was the first female breadwinner in my family’s lineage.

Stacey: Wow, me too, I think.

Shayla: There are so many [crosstalk] now in your family’s entire history. That’s bonkers.

Stacey: I’ve never thought of that before. Me too.

Shayla: I bet so many people in the audience who are like, “Holy shit, me three.” We are like, “Okay, you’re going to be the first one ever to be the primary breadwinner.” But keep everything else that people have ever done in history. It’s so unrealistic. And then I’m going to shame you if you outsource anything or if you get any help. But what happens is, we’re so busy in that moment that then we’re not really there for our kids because that’s when I’m at the ball game emailing.

And that’s when I’m in the car and they’re trying to have a conversation with me but I’m multitasking about what I need to pick up from the grocery store. So when we say no, we create the mind space too, to be fully in the moment with our children and our spouse.

I mean, I had a client last week telling me that, she’s like, “When I go home I just think in my head and I feel terrible about this, but I just think please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me.” Because work was so hard that they just need a minute. I don’t want to come home and feel like I don’t want my spouse and child that I love to leave me alone.

Stacey: Yeah, I totally get it, though. When you have so much going on in your brain and yeah, 100%. I think the thought that I have and I’ve probably shared this on the podcast before, but I just think of myself as the female breadwinner, really, as the asset. So I’m like, “We have to take care of me because I’m the asset for the whole family.” And I think that that’s true for everyone. And I would also feel that way if Neil were the breadwinner. I’d probably feel the same way as far as we’ve got to make sure we protect the asset of the family.

And I think there’s a way to do that around others that allows you to protect yourself and care for yourself without making someone else, you’re kind of submissive or whatever. So, anything Neil doesn’t want to do to support me, we just hire out to other people. You don’t have to clean the house. You don’t have to make dinner. You don’t have to go grocery shopping. We can make that happen for other people, but we have to protect me.

Shayla: Absolutely. And I think sometimes people think of that as far out because they don’t have the money to outsource everything. But if you slow down and are intentional, there’s free ways of doing it too. So we have five kids combined in our blended family. And last year where I live, we had a bus driver shortage. So the bus only ran every other week. Well, let me just tell you nowhere in my schedule was time to pick up and drop off in these crazy lines every other week.

So I just ended up at some point calling another mom and we did every other day. My drive time got cut in half and it was free and her drive time got cut in half. So, there’s ways. You don’t have to have money to outsource, but slow down, understand the bottlenecks and what’s bothering you the most and let’s solve for those.

Stacey: So good, yeah, I love it.

Shayla: It’s so good and so simple, but we’re just so freaking busy, we can’t do it. And so that’s what I love about life coaching. You get to talk once a week to somebody that gets to help you slow down your brain and say, “What is your biggest pain point right now? How can we solve it with a long term fix?”

Stacey: Yeah. So you were wanting to be an executive and you were watching other executives. I love this. And looking at how did they behave, pick up the story from there, we didn’t hear it all the way through.

Shayla: Yeah. So I mean, I changed my self-concepts. I realized they don’t show up to meetings at the very last second. I realized they also weren’t desperate. So I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for my chance to prove myself, and to show that I was smart and to show that I could add value. So I wanted to jump in quickly into the conversation. The executives that were already in the room and we’re comfortable we’re sitting back, they were relaxed, they were listening. They were trying to solve the problem at hand, not trying to prove anything about themselves.

Stacey: Okay. So can we just take a second, that is exactly what you also have to do as a new coach.

Shayla: There is so much that translated, that you helped me create those bridges in my mind about what experience I already have and how it translated.

Stacey: Yeah, because coaches, they want to jump into conversations in Facebook groups or online and prove what they know and who they are, They want to do that on consults. And coaches who are well experienced, making lots of money are doing just that. They’re sitting back. They’re listening. They’re looking at how they could contribute, and even when I add things to people, if I’m in a conversation, or if I’m commenting online, if it’s not a client, I typically will ask, “Are you open to coaching?” Or I could offer something?

I’m just very aware of using words very carefully and asking for permission.

Shayla: Yeah. And [crosstalk] their brains first, too, to let them get there themselves first because it’s more powerful. There’s so many things. But yeah, I was totally that way, too at first. They’d say something and I’m like, “Oh, my God, I’ve lived that exact thing and I can help you.”

Stacey: Want to jump in immediately.

Shayla: Yeah. So, I mean, there is a ton with it, but I can teach and I don’t mean this to sound over the top either. But I can teach anyone to become an executive and be strategic. I can teach anyone to get any job that they want. But the mindset work, Stacey, I mean, that will take them as far as they want to go.

Stacey: Yeah, 100%.

Shayla: Some of my clients just talk to themselves and control their thoughts before they go into a boardroom. And they have talked to me about, I mean, it’s just night and day different when they say, for instance, and I’ve always done this too. I didn’t want to waste people’s time. So then I would go way too fast. And when you go way too fast, you don’t come across as professional and authoritative. You come across as kind of frantic and I don’t know why they’re like this.

And so all you have to do beforehand is tell yourself, they’re really looking forward to what I have to say. I’m going in and explaining this. I’m going to take them slowly through the key points that matter and then let them ask questions, whatever it is. But all you have to do is find the thoughts that will then allow you to behave in the way that will get you there.

Stacey: So you were using coaching, that took you to the executive level?

Shayla: Yeah. So I made it to the C-Suite by 40. I never thought I could get above a director. My stepmom was the most powerful woman I had ever met, and she was a director. So when I became a director, I didn’t even know that you could go beyond that. I mean, I know you talk about money and I think it’s so freeing and wonderful for people to do. I went from my goals being, can I make it to 100K? And then, what if I make it to 200K. And then I was getting six figure bonuses.

Stacey: Wow, that’s so great.

Shayla: I didn’t know that that was possible. That’s part of that key thing. And I’m like, “And how am I getting six figure bonuses and I’m less stressed, I’m working less hours and loving my work life and loving my time with my children. I’m starting to figure out my health.” It was amazing. So long story short, the corporate part worked. I was happier than ever. You mentioned Disney earlier. That was one of my first big wins. So I had gotten a job offer in Chicago. I moved there with just my two girls knowing no one else in the state. And the first thing I did with my first bonus was, I took my girls to Disney World.

Stacey: So sweet.

Shayla: But I didn’t go on vacations as a kid. And to be a single mom that could provide them a home in one of the top school districts in the country and take them on vacation, so, I didn’t know there was more than that. Then I started taking them to the lake and taking them snowboarding. And I took them to the Dominican. And I wanted my kids to have a global mindset, too, and I wanted them to travel and be cultured. And the first time I took them out of the country was on my own. And so this is the power of life coaching. It’s about the lifestyle you create too for you and your family and it’s phenomenal.

Stacey: Yeah, 100%.

Shayla: So sorry, I’m going to try to not cry.

Stacey: It’s okay, we cry sometimes on the podcast.

Shayla: So that all worked and was phenomenal. And I started my own business during the pandemic. And so I had started listening to you. I had started listening to the other two ladies, Brooke and Amy. And I was like, “Well, I have a little extra time because I’m not traveling as much, so why don’t I start my business?” And I had been doing lean in circles inside of my company for a while. And we grew those from eight women in a room to 1600 around the US, Mexico and Europe.

And the problem is when women left, they couldn’t be a part of it anymore. And those women were still wanting to lean in, and they were still wanting that circle. And so I just was like, “I want to provide something for women who are going through the same thing. So there’s no woman out there that has untapped potential, that just needs a hand to guide them and show them how to do it.” So anyways, I started my coaching journey then, but I did not sign up for 2K, which I will tell you all, you do not have to wait. Stacey, I listened to you for three years before I gave you any money.

Stacey: So crazy, I mean, yeah, I tell people all the time, when I’m coaching my clients I’m like, “You have no idea who’s going to be listening to you for three years before they buy so you have to keep going.”

Shayla: Yeah. It’s the same thing. The seed thing is true, everyone. Plant the seeds, they will harvest later. I’m starting to see that myself. Yeah, so I listened to you forever, but I didn’t think I was ready because I was still in corporate and I was thinking I’ll do this when I leave corporate. And it took me a year in my mind to feel okay with the idea of leaving corporate. I want to teach people how they can have great lives in corporate, but I’m going to leave it if I had all this issue with it.

And then I got the Chief People Officer role. And so I’m like, “Okay, I’m going to do this for a few years. I’m going to keep learning about coaching and building my business and creating the behind the scenes stuff.” And then unfortunately, the company that I worked for had very bad timing with their IPO and within a year they went bankrupt. And so the timing is kind of really crazy, but in November I got laid off from that role. I started 2K. Now, granted, I’d been listening to you forever. Within a week of just, oh, my God, all you have to do is meet people, tell them you’re a life coach and make an offer. Within a week I had two clients.

Stacey: Wow, that’s so fun.

Shayla: But I waited that whole time and I could have been coaching people while I worked if I would have just bought it and understood how simple it was. Because I’m over there playing with brand colors and names and thinking that if I don’t choose the right company name then it’s going to not work.

Stacey: Yeah, I get it.

Shayla: My company’s called Evolve and I spent a lot of time on the name, but no shit when I mark it now. I never even say the word Evolve. It’s nowhere. I’m Shayla King. So skip all of that by 2K, get started now, you’ll thank me later. Okay, so here is the crazy part of the timeline and we’ll get into the story that you know about. So I left corporate in November. I got my first two clients, and then it all almost ended.

So one of the things with my health issues that I had before is I had learned how to really improve them and I used the same life coaching and self-concept philosophies to fix it. So I lost 30 lbs. I learned how to really control the flare ups and the inflammation that comes with it. And one of the things that I did for it is, I got these proactive treatments that were IV treatments. I’d go in for my IV treatment. That night I’m supposed to pick up the kids and meet my husband in Chicago for a vacation.

Stacey: And this is your new husband?

Shayla: Well, he was my fiancé at the time. So I was a single mom for eight years while I was doing that climb to make it even harder.

Stacey: Yeah. And how old were your kids at this time?

Shayla: 13 and 11, it was a year ago. So my girls were 13 and 11. I was engaged. So at this point I’m their only person, we newly moved to Austin. I had a fiancé. We weren’t married yet. And I go in for a routine IV, and I’m supposed to pick them up from school that day, and I don’t show up. And I don’t show up because there was a mistake made and they caused an air embolism, which caused a stroke and seizures and I went into a coma.

And I was brought to the local hospital and they said, “She’s not going to make it. Our only chance is if we put her in this special machine that might be able to help. So we’re going to airlift her from here to Houston.” And while I’m at the hospital, randomly, my brother calls. And then they’re like, “Are you related to her?” And that’s the only way my family was notified. The place that I was at getting it done didn’t call my emergency contact.

So they find out my husband’s in Chicago on business. Also, a little side bit, the beauty of sometimes blended families, work. I did not think ours would work. I did not think it would be this amazing. His ex-wife is who picked up my kids from school, yeah, and she’s a godsend. And that part of the blended family has been so beautiful, so beautiful.

Stacey: You may cry on the podcast. This is what we do.

Shayla: But I do love that story too. If you are single and it is hard, like I was for eight years and now I have the most beautiful, blended family and it all worked out so much better than I thought. So it is out there for you. But she picked up my kids from school. And then my husband had to figure out where to fly because they didn’t even know what city I was going to be in as they airlifted me. And came back and I was intubated in a coma and having heart failure by the time they got there.

So my daughters had to walk in a hospital room and see their mom lying there with all the tubes and have no idea if I was coming home.

Stacey: So scary. You sent me the photo and I heard the story, but seeing you in the hospital bed, seeing you intubated, that was a very visceral, just, I cried when I saw that photo. It was just so wild to see, hear the story and see the realness of it, because I think you hear these stories and then it’s just a very different thing to see it.

Shayla: And I was in a coma. So when I saw it for the first time too, it was crazy because I didn’t get to see, get to experience it in that way. But to lighten things up a little, I don’t know which picture I sent you. One of them I have these funny gloves on.

Stacey: I don’t think you sent me that one.

Shayla: Okay. So I kept coming in and out of my coma and not knowing where I was. And I was not a very good patient. I did not want to be hooked up to anything and so I kept pulling everything out. They literally didn’t know how I didn’t break my nose because I even got the tube through my nose thing, out. And they had to put these Rocky style gloves on me.

Stacey: But then it was scary, to come in and out of a coma, you don’t know what’s happening to you.

Shayla: No idea. And I thought I was somewhere else and I had terrible nightmares. And when I first woke up, I didn’t know my fiancé’s name. I didn’t know where we were. They kept trying to tell me we were at the hospital. And I was like, “No, we’re not, we’re at home, our appointment’s on Thursday.” So I lived. I came out of the coma. And I came home right before Christmas. And so my dad always called me his Christmas miracle.

Stacey: Oh, you’re going to make me cry again.

Shayla: And I think it was the fight for my life was over, but the fight for living wasn’t.

Stacey: Yeah, you told me you had to learn how to text again. You couldn’t remember the code to get in your phone.

Shayla: I had no idea what my code was to my phone. Now, granted, remember I just started my business. I had two new clients that had two sessions with me and then their coach ghosted them. And I do remember when I was waking up, I was like, “You’ve got to tell them. You’ve got to tell them.”

Stacey: Bless. I just feel like every coach in the world is going to identify with that. You’ve got to tell my clients, I didn’t ghost them.

Shayla: Yeah. And so Brian’s trying to figure out my password for my phone and I kept sneaking it to try to enter it in again and he’s like, “You can’t keep entering the same number. You’re going to be locked out forever.” And I’m like, “Okay, I promise, just let me see my phone. I won’t do it again.” And then I do it again real quick.

Stacey: You knew he was your fiancé.

Shayla: Yes, thank God, I knew.

Stacey: You knew that your kids were your kids. It was just some memory was gone, how long did your memory take to come back?

Shayla: I would say I got the majority of it back right away, but still to this day, yesterday, I noticed if there is a word I haven’t said since the coma, I can watch my brain look for it. Crazy. We all forget words and look for them, but it’s totally different if it’s just a word that I can tell I lost from the stroke.

Stacey: Wow, that’s really freaky. I think it’s freaky when I forget words that I know. And that never happened to me until I had a baby. I’ve heard other moms say that, but that is very freaky to me. I’m like, “What’s happening? Did I lose access to parts of my brain? What is happening?” And so I can only imagine what that’s like.

Shayla: Yeah, so I had to learn to walk again, talk again, get healthy again.

Stacey: Can I just rewind and ask? You said there was a mistake made. Can you tell me what that was? Is that something you can talk about?

Shayla: Yeah, I think so. So what was in the report and told to the EMS who arrived on the scene was that the nurse was trying to flush the line and instead of any fluid being in there that she flushed straight air into my vein. And she said she was enjoying talking to me so she was distracted.

Stacey: I also thought something that you said that was really interesting that I think everyone should hear because I was thinking about this after our call. And what I have been able to do with that is, you said you didn’t experience, was it anger? Or you just didn’t go after them in any way. You didn’t hold them accountable in any way. You just moved forward with your life. You would explain it better, but really profound, the choice you made there.

Shayla: That to me, is all the mindset work. So the most powerful thing I’ve ever learned is I don’t have to think about things that don’t make me happy. And I don’t have to think about things that don’t serve me. And so me being resentful or mad or angry or hostile or whatever those normal human emotions are, towards the nurse or the owner of the facility didn’t help me heal. And all I needed to do with that point was learn to physically live again and to emotionally be there for my family.

There was no room for that anger. There was no room for that. Being revengeful is probably one of the traits that I like least in the world. I just don’t get it. I want the best for everybody, even if they were crappy. I can separate myself and have boundaries but I don’t ever want anyone to hurt. And so I like to think that it was a mistake and I don’t like that there’s a medical process that requires so much human correctness.

That there’s not more ways that we can stop this because humans make mistakes and mistakes are going to happen. So I think there still might be some room for some accountability, but it absolutely was not a priority and all everybody said is, “Are you so angry? And I hope you’re suing the shit out of them.” And that was not on my radar.

Stacey: I know you think that’s a little thing. This is not even remotely close in the same realms. But I do remember Serena Hicks talked about this. It was a workplace situation where she could have filed suit, maybe it was sexual harassment or something. And she had all of her paperwork for her legal and ready to go. And then she realized, I could focus here, or I could make money in my business. Her business just took off. And I just heard you say that, I don’t think this is a little thing.

I think a lot of people in the world spend a lot of time, whether it’s justly or unjustly, angry about things, seeking vengeance, seeking payment, seeking apology, seeking something from someone else. And it’s very different to hear someone say, “This person made a mistake. But this isn’t, it cost me time or inconvenience or money or grief and just emotional disruption. This was a mistake that almost cost you your life, your actual life. So I do think you would be totally just in all of the feelings and filing suit and being really angry.

And I think it’s a profound choice. I have had to learn this myself because I used to be in little stuff, not big stuff like this. But I used to be in this place of if I’m wronged, I’ve got to right the wrong. And I spent so much energy in my life doing that and it’s also something that coaching brought me is learning I’m the only one that pays when I do that. We had a simple wedding issue, our wedding venue was just really awful to us. And very justly things, broke contracts, just put us through the wringer.

Our wedding planner even removed herself as the preferred vendor because she was like, “I could just never work with this place again.” And we had the option to go move to another venue. And I had this moment where the wedding I wanted was here. And I chose this place and I would be like, “Yes, I can get one on them and take my business somewhere else but then my wedding will be affected.” I’m just thinking about it because we’re making our wedding album.

And we were just looking at our wedding photos and they’re stunning and our wedding day and our rehearsal was just so incredible and it was the perfect experience. We had no bad experiences at the actual wedding. But I remember having that moment where I was like, “They’ll find another person to have a wedding. It’s a wait list a mile long. They’re going to just replace the money. So if I move, I’ll be the only one that suffers.” And it’s such a small thing but those little things were a big deal for me.

So I think just step into, I feel like in the last several years, I don’t even ask for returns anymore or try to get my money back. I just focus all of my energy for it, but that was a big deal for me. So I can’t imagine, the way you can talk about it, you have so much compassion for her human mistake and it’s profound. I hope you know that.

Shayla: Okay. Well, thank you. And I actually think it would be wonderful for us to unpack this for just a minute because I think that there’s a lot to it. So one of the things that you mentioned at the very beginning was that it’s also about wanting people to pay or to me, it was wanting people to understand. So any time that somebody would say something about me that I didn’t think was accurate and they didn’t understand my intentions were good. I for some reason thought it was really important that I get them to understand.

And I would just play and play and play on trying to get me to fix what somebody else thought. And letting go of that is amazing. And then letting go of, I call it the doom loop. I used to have the doom loop before bed every night about things that were unjust or not fair, that had happened way in the past. And so many of us that have suffered with something, it could be little stuff that you think about every day or you could have the same story that is on that permanent doom loop in your mind.

Stacey: Yeah, childhood wounds. I see that a lot. People are just very, very hurt from things that have happened in their childhood. That’s something else I’ve been able to really let go and it’s had a major impact in my life is just parental mistakes. Where people will be like, “My parents didn’t do this for me or they didn’t do that for me or this terrible thing happened.” And there are very terrible things that happen, yeah.

Shayla: Yes. And so to me, the easiest tool that I use from life coaching is the idea of asking yourself, when I think about this, not is it right or wrong to think about it, but when I think about this, how do I feel? And if it doesn’t feel good, stop doing it.

Stacey: So good. When you woke up and you realized what happened, was there a moment where you felt anger or you just had practiced this so many times that you were like, “I already know this is not useful?”

Shayla: I felt no anger, Stacey. I would have said back in the day that I was hot tempered. And I was fast to respond and kind of whatever kind of sassy, spicy word you can think of. And over time, I’ve just become so much more gentle.

Stacey: I think, how lucky for this nurse to have you be the person that this happens with. When I was in college, I worked for a cell phone place and I made a mistake. This guy had come in and he was like, “I want to upgrade my phone and my mom’s okay, she said to just call and you can take her social over the phone or whatever.” And then I was like, “Great, okay.” And that was common practice at the time and he stepped away and was talking to her, and then he came back and he handed me the phone and I was like, “Yeah, what’s the last four of your social?” And I gave it to her.

Well, I guess on their call, he hadn’t been honest with what he was doing. I upgraded the account which is a two year contract and then when she found out, I worked for an independent contractor and I apologized. I mean, I saw how it happened, but it wasn’t intentional and she had given me social and she had said he has the authority. And I lost my job. She came after me and this had been a job, I’d been there for so many years. I loved my job and my boss was so upset and he was like, “She’s going to sue if we don’t fire you. So we just have to. We’re so sorry.”

And so I’ve been the person on the receiving end of making a mistake that really was an honest mistake. It wasn’t intentional. This wasn’t common practice. So how great for her that she got you, that that mistake happened with someone like you. That’s God’s work, coaching’s work, it’s something.

Shayla: Yes. I mean for the cell phone thing, that was enabling her son and not dealing with the root of the issue and I’m so sorry for that.

Stacey: It was in college. I don’t feel sad about it now, but I just know. I’ve been on the receiving end. She was calling every day and it was a very intense thing to experience this woman’s wrath.

Shayla: Yeah. Well, one more example, so I remember one time I was on the highway and I got rear-ended on the highway. And we have to pull over and the cops are there. And this teenage girl’s mom comes. And then I’m over here with the cop and I start walking over to them. I’m the one that got hit, and I start walking over to them because I wanted to let the mom know that the car in front of me slammed on their brakes really hard. And I was just able to stop before them.

And so I wanted to let her know that your daughter wasn’t  texting or calling and driving. She did a good job. She barely hit me. Otherwise it would have been really bad. So I just wanted to kind of let her know. And the cops start screaming at me like, “Don’t go over there. You’re not allowed to be on that side”, or whatever. And it’s because most of the time if the person who got hit is approaching the other person, they’re angry and hostile and they’re worried that there’s going to be a fight or something. How bad is that though?

If that’s a natural response for people, I can’t change it. We’re going to call insurance. This shit’s going to get fixed. This is life. I mean, I struggled a little bit with Brookes 50/50 because I think shitty stuff happens in life, but I still think my life is 80/20.

Stacey: But I think that’s your ability to coach yourself. I think that changes and shifts with your ability to coach yourself. I’ve seen that for sure.

Shayla: Yeah, for sure. I guess I’ll finally say, I think there could still be room for accountability in my situation or in any one’s situation. I’ve actually coached on that with The Life Coach School a little bit. And the idea is though that, can you still stand up for yourself? Because that’s what I teach empowering women, can you still see that for yourself, but in a way that’s not angry, in a way that doesn’t create pain for you?

And so I don’t know if we’ll do anything or not. I want to make sure it doesn’t happen to anybody else. I also don’t want my life to be in court and litigious.

Stacey: Or your life spent managing this person, because, here’s what’s interesting. We don’t know, is this person someone who does that often, or is it truly an honest mistake? And you may be the person she sees every night before she goes to bed. You don’t have any idea how deeply impactful the mistake she made had on her. Maybe she intensely regrets it, is much, much more careful afterwards.

I know for when I make things that hurt people or if I hurt someone’s feelings, I’m just very, afterwards I’m very, very careful in those things. I teach this idea of emotional regret. If we have emotional regret, then we are very unlikely to repeat the same mistake twice, if we genuinely feel it. So we don’t know.

Shayla: Yes. And I always say assume good intent.

Stacey: Yeah, so good.

Shayla: And then the other thing I was just going to mention on that is, I did a series on victim and villain. Every victim needs a villain. So as soon as you start hearing yourself talking bad about somebody else or how they did something mean or bad or whatever. That means you’re putting yourself into the victim’s mindset. I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t want to be a victim of anything. The hardest part for me with the situation is that I found out from the EMS report that they didn’t call the EMS for 30 minutes.

Stacey: Oh my gosh.

Shayla: So I think their only intention was that I somehow come out of it and then they don’t have to report it or whatever.

Stacey: So that’s definitely something to advocate for, in whatever capacity you desire to, that is interesting.

Shayla: And it said that a bystander is who called 911 and then they never called my emergency contact. But the way that I think about it now, which is so beautiful because it’s not how I thought about myself in my younger life. I felt sad for me laying on the ground in this medical room by myself. My husband said that and he has so much empathy for me in the situation. He’s like, “I just can’t imagine you laying there.” And I hadn’t thought about it like that. And he said, “That is sad.”

Stacey: So they watched you for 30 minutes?

Shayla: They said they had put my feet up and tried to give me some honey in case I had low blood pressure or low blood sugar.

Stacey: So they just thought you passed out?

Shayla: Yeah. The EMS said my eyes weren’t tracking, they could tell I was stroked out when they got there. I mean, that’s just hard and heavy and to me the biggest of all of it is the vision of my daughters walking into that room. And again, we weren’t married, so they didn’t know what was going to happen to them if mom didn’t make it. That is to me, I wish that wouldn’t have happened, but I can’t change it either. So any anger around it doesn’t serve me.

But yeah, so I think life coaching helped me through that with two things. One, I don’t have to think about things that don’t make me feel good, that don’t serve me. So I don’t have to think about anything that doesn’t serve me. And two, it doesn’t freaking matter. So, I have always kind of felt that way. My dad had a sign that was, ‘Don’t sweat the pee pee shit’. And it’s all pee pee shit. He’s a big, loud New Yorker, you can imagine that as he’s saying.

But after my coma, Jesus, I didn’t care. I mean, I’m talking about all of the judgments, all the expectations in the world, everything that most of the moms were complaining or talking about, or, oh, my God. I saw these mom group posts and they were posting about how this guy was saving a spot for somebody. And he stood there while they were waiting to come and wouldn’t give up the spot. And I’m like, “How does this take any space in your brain?”

Your brain could be thinking about beautiful things and about your future and your dreams and your strategies for your business or your kids. And you’re going to think about, not only think about it in the moment, but then you’re going to spend time writing a post about it and then commenting. Who wants to stay in that stupid little doom loop?

Stacey: So good, the doom loop, going to be using this from here on out, the doom loop. I love it. So crazy. So how long did it take you to learn to walk again and to talk again? Because this was all just a year ago.

Shayla: Well, so here’s what will blow your mind. So November I get laid off. I start my business, I get my first two clients. December, I have a coma. We buy a new house in January. We sell our house in February. We have our wedding in April. And then we had our honeymoon in July. And then I had a couple of surgeries. So that was my first year of business. Isn’t that wild?

Stacey: Having people that can come on and give intense perspective because I’m someone that can easily get stuck in what it’s like for me in my situation, all my circumstances, especially in the past. And so it’s always really helpful anytime I have a hard circumstance or a situation. I always like to think about, Jack Canfield said this in his Success Principles book that there’s always someone that had it much harder than you and they figured out how to solve for it.

From everything you’ve said on the podcast. I do have to say you are an exceptional person. You have an exceptional way of looking at the world. You have an exceptional work ethic. You have an exceptional resilience to you. And so you’re having all of these pieces converging at once that makes this possible for you. I do think we all have that inside of us, I think we all have the ability to do it.

So I just have to say that for everyone listening, if it feels like a struggle and for whatever reason, we’ve had experiences and skills and thoughts already that support us, to help us go through something exceptionally well. And it doesn’t mean anything about it if you don’t. But I do think hearing the stories, I guess that’s what I’m saying is, don’t use Shayla’s story against yourself to be like, “Well, I’m just struggling on this little thing about getting clients”, or whatever. That’s not what we want to do here. It’s mining someone who responds exceptionally to something very difficult.

We want to mine their brain to find out what they were thinking and what their philosophy is so that we can borrow it. Just like you borrowed the executives and how they thought and how they were showing up. My hope and desire to come on and have you share this story is so that people can mine your reactions and your thoughts and the way that you’ve been so resilient and recovered so quickly and moved forward so fast towards what you want.

I’ve talked about on the podcast the five second funeral of mourn your lost launch or the consult that didn’t close and then move forward, but you really are the living breathing example of that.

Shayla: Well, I mean first, thank you. But also I’m human and everything you guys talk about with mind drama that’s happened when you try to start your coaching business. I live all of that. I have the human brain. I come up with all of these same issues. So I wrote a list of why I need Stacey. And we can go through it quickly because I think it resonates. But some of the stuff, yes, I can have five second funerals, but that took practice. It’s practice.

You’re always getting better. It’s always getting shorter, so just keep practicing. I mean, I went for years about things that were unfair with my divorce and with things that had happened. And for years I replayed it and couldn’t get over it and didn’t know why I couldn’t get over it. So I’m human and that shit happens too, but it is better with practice.

Stacey: And I do think, I’m curious what you think about this. You had a much different and deeper experience than me. But I almost died this past year, to me, felt like I almost died. I had swallowed food and I was having an esophagus issue and the food got stuck at my airway and so I couldn’t breathe. We tried the Heimlich, two of my employees here and we couldn’t get it dislodged. And so I was literally just gasping. My body went into fight or flight. I was flailing my arms and slamming my feet on the floor.

I couldn’t get any air and it went on for almost 15 minutes. It was like if you were breathing through a straw and you got a fourth of what you were breathing through the straw, which is enough to, I didn’t die, but it was so scary. The same experience you had about your kids seeing you in the room. I could hear Jackson playing in the basement. And I was just sputtering out, “Don’t let me die.” And it was horrifying.

And after that experience, after that day, I took like four days off. I just canceled everything on my calendar. It lasered in, in such a deep perspective. And from that moment, everything has changed since that moment for me. My focus, my business goals, my business structure, I’m going to be talking about it over the next couple of months, but I’m really changing a lot of things.

That near death experience really did kind of impact me in such a deep way that it changed just every decision I made moving forward and how I want to spend my time. But I think that’s what it does is, it shows you how you were spending your time on the little stuff, a lot of it, sweating all the stuff as if it were life and death, even though it’s not.

Shayla: Yes, because it doesn’t freaking matter.

Stacey: Yeah. And you see that, it really does happen. It very much aligns your priorities of what matters and what doesn’t and what are you going to give your attention to and what aren’t you going to give your attention to? And I really love that idea of, it doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong. When I think about it, how does it feel for me? Because I’m the one that gets to have this experience every single day.

Shayla: Yeah. And you only have one life and we don’t know when it’s going to end.

Stacey: We feel so safe until the moment where something like that happens, and then you realize, that was an illusion. My physical safety was an illusion.

Shayla: Yeah. And I want to be an example of loving my life so much and having my cup overflow that I just need to share with other people so that they know they have the freedom to love their life that much as well. Lose all the shame, lose all the mom guilt, lose all the bullshit of little stuff and talking about people and all of the crap. And just freaking love your life and design the hell. And that’s why I don’t care what people want their life to look like but I want them to create a big bold vision for it and let’s fucking [crosstalk].

Stacey: Yeah. So you got married in April. And I don’t remember exactly when we coached, but you had, sometime recently you had a $20,000 a month or signed a $20,000 client or $20,000 of clients in a week or something. Can you kind of just walk through because it feels like ever since that moment everything’s moved very fast for you.

Shayla: Yeah. So that’s why I said I love the idea of the seeds, that we’re planting seeds. And it’s also funny when you talk about my mindset because I’m such an overachiever naturally. I was still disappointed with my first year in business. Could I have done more? Did I move things forward enough? Did I get enough done? And when I look back and I said, “Look at your year. You recovered from dying, you moved, you got married, you had a honeymoon, you had two surgeries. That was your first year in business. You were profitable, come on.”

Stacey: Right, exactly. And that’s something I don’t think you shared in the story that you told here, but you did actually die for a minute. Your heart stopped or something.

Shayla: I didn’t technically die, but they said, “There’s no way she’s going to make it.” And so they don’t know why it did. They were going to put a trachea, where they literally put the hole through your throat. And then I’d never be able to speak again. Oh, my God, without pushing the button and doing the smoke or cancer thing. It was insane. But I was still like, “Did I do enough? Did I push business forward enough? Did I get enough done?”

And one of the things I had to coach with you on is, what do I do when I’m sick because I had these plans for the week and I make these ambitious plans. And I still made them. I made them to where I worked great hours because that’s one of the things that I want to do with my business. I don’t want to work all the time. So I work half days, four days a week. It’s five hour days. And that’s the way I want to do my business, but I would jam pack those, Stacey. And I thought there was some magic solution to the best strategy that I was going to do.

And so if I was sick for two days, I’m like, “Oh shit, it’s all going to hell. I’m not going to make the progress that I need to make.” I did struggle with all of that too. So I think that’s just something that I’m continually working on. One of my biggest wins for last year, you just did a podcast on it and I freaking loved it, launch zeros. Oh my gosh. If you all haven’t listened to that, go back and listen to it because it is one of the best things that I learned last year that will fuel my growth is the ability to fail.

And one of the strategies that you shared that worked for me and I was doing this while we were going through the 25K program was I decided ahead of time the point of me trying to launch a group program was not about how many people I was going to get. But it was about getting the rep in of doing it. 

Stacey: Yeah. It really is. The first one is just for the second one and the second one’s just for the third one.

Shayla: Yeah. So at the end of it, I actually was gentle enough with myself to feel proud that I had done it. And so that to me was the biggest thing because normally I’d want to be really hard on myself. I had to go through that little value cycle. It would take me a while to pick back up again, and now I’m like, “Good job. You did it. Let’s go.” And so I’m really excited for this following year and I have not answered whatever your question was at all.

Stacey: You got married in April. And then you ended up at some point in the 25K group. And you were celebrating having made a lot of money. I just think it’s all remarkable.

Shayla: Yeah. So when we talked, it was 20K, within the next week, it became 38. So it was 38K in a five week period, which is amazing. But what’s cool, and I have so many open items right now that haven’t come through yet, but are feeding in, global companies that want executive coaching for their company.

So we didn’t talk about this, but one of the things that I know you liked was that I had listened to, I think it was a guest coach, Paul. That a gentleman had said, “I’m trying to keep a simple offer but I don’t know how to do that when I’m coaching both individual humans and trying to work with corporations and they want a different, what do I offer to them and keep it simple.” That is exactly my problem. And so the coach said, “Just make it the same offer.” And I was like, “Huh, you can do that? You could keep it this simple?”

And so it’s literally what I do. So I offer one year transformations which I also had to work on my belief. I didn’t believe in a year at first, so I did six months. Now I believe that you can get this amazing full life transformation in a year. So I am sold on it now.

Stacey: I agree, yes, so good.

Shayla: And I offer executive coaching to companies and to individuals. I have been the individual at a company that it’s being kind of led along and saying, “Yeah, you’re going to get in the next round of the development program. We’re going to have you on the next one the next time, next time it’s available, we’ll put your name out there.” And so if an individual is like, “Screw it, I’m sick of waiting”, and is willing to invest in themselves I give them half off.

Stacey: Wow. Okay, I love it.

Shayla: But it’s the same offer.

Stacey: Yeah, I love it. It’s so great. Well, I’m so excited for you to have so much success. This is the last question I wanted to ask you is, how is your relationship with your daughters since all of this?

Shayla: So good. One of the things that’s a little bit less about the stroke but definitely because of life coaching. When I learned to put myself first and to actually be happy. Because we are taught so much that we’re supposed to give all of ourselves and deplete ourselves and be self-sacrificing. And it’s a lie and it’s bullshit and it serves people that aren’t us. But when I actually learned to put myself first and be happy, my relationship with my daughters improved. They think I’m cool. They want to be like me and my friends.

And I am an example to them of the kind of life they can live. That they can be a great mom and be happy and be a hell of a business owner. I am an example to them of what it looks like to not be miserable because you’re always putting yourself last. Obviously, we all know that life is really precious now too.

Stacey: And they witnessed you come back. I always think about what are our kids watching, that they’re not learning from us because we tell them, but they’re just seeing and what does that teach them? And what tools does that give them moving forward in their life for them to see you?

Shayla: Stacey, when your son is older and you see him talking to his friends and using our terminology, it is freaking amazing. I hear them on their phones and saying things about being courageous or forgiveness or believing in yourself and coaching their freaking friends on it and then boundaries. My daughter realized when a friend was putting too much on her that was going through a lot and understanding what’s right and not right to ask. I mean, it’s so cool.

So Ariana, my oldest, I’m talking to her about it because she was having a hard time and now she’s thriving as a freshman in high school. And I said, “What do you think it is?” She goes, “I just really wanted my high school years to be amazing and I wanted to be happy, so I’m happy.” I said, “That’s the whole game.” She decided what she wanted and then decided that she can tell her brain to do that.

Stacey: Because she’s watched you do that for so long.

Shayla: I told her, I was like, “I didn’t know any of this at your age.” Imagine they’ll flourish. I’m so excited for them and so proud of them. And my youngest is an athlete and she uses it in her mindset. She’s doing hurdles now and track and that’s some scary stuff. And she talks to herself beforehand. And just understanding the power of thought. You tell me sometimes that I don’t always have to be a life coach to them, so there is that too. But you can see it working, which is amazing. I’m sorry, it’s just in me.

So my husband is like, “Well, of course I’m improving, I’m married to a life coach. Of course I’m great at this or that.” But I mean, it works in everything. It works in the family dynamics of why do you think that you got angry right now? What do you think is behind that? And we’ll break it down and figure it out. And it’s so good for marriages and families and everything.

Stacey: I always think about, what’s it going to be like when we have this generation of children that we’re all raising with life coaching skills and techniques, what is that going to change about the world? I think about that all the time, just emotionally aware people.

Shayla: They’ll be so unapologetically ambitious and kind, and I’m so excited for that. We’ve gone long. I know, but I also want to give you lots of compliments. So can I share real quick things I’ve learned from you?

Stacey: You’re so sweet. Sure, yes.

Shayla: Okay. So if you are looking at, what do I need to grow my business or what are areas you can improve, this is what I needed from Stacey. So first is become the who. So I understand the self-concept work, but I needed you to take me through it is, what it means to be an entrepreneur. I needed you to teach me what it means to be this level of a coach. So I heard this saying that it doesn’t take long to grow a profitable business. It takes a long time to become the person who can grow a profitable business.

Stacey: Yes. That’s great. Yes.

Shayla: And I feel like you’ve helped me with that. And so even the being able to fail and how I show up and how I think about it. And you are and I know other people have told you this too, but you are an example for us of when shit gets hard and people want you to quit, showing up anyways because there are people out there that you are helping. Thank you for that. If somebody says something mean on social, it totally bothers me and I am working on that but it still does.

Stacey: I have some material on that, that will be coming out, but it really is starting to come out that this is not a normal thing. Experiencing online, whatever you want to call it, criticism, hate, whatever it is, no one is dealing with that well. No one just takes that and is like, “Yeah, it doesn’t bother me at all.” I mean, if they are, they’re exceptional and it’s just not their thing. For most humans, this is harming them, yes.

Shayla: Okay, the second thing is constraint. So you teach this simple offer, losing the belief that there is a perfect strategy. One of the things that helps me with that is, there will always be more good ideas than the capacity to execute.

Stacey: Everybody, that’s a quote. There will always be more good ideas than the ability to execute. Is that it?

Shayla: You will always have more good ideas than the capacity to execute. And so you really helped me with focusing because I wanted to do nine different offers at once and nine different things at once. And then the third area is, I have been in sales before. I’ve helped businesses grow. I don’t know how to market me. And I don’t mean this in an asshole way, but when I did a class in corporate, people were really excited to get to come. And I do it online and people were looking forward to it and I get all these notes beforehand and afterwards.

And when I do it now, when I was first putting myself out there, it’s crickets, crickets, easy.

Stacey: That’s just for everyone, even me, I promise.

Shayla: It’s a blow to your ego, though, when you’re trying to transfer that self-concept over and that’s good for me. I needed to know that some of what worked for me there will be hugely helpful and some of it I’m starting from the ground. And it’s okay to be a beginner and it’s okay to screw up and it’s okay to have no one there because I’m building that capability, getting that rep in.

Stacey: That’s very useful for everyone to hear. I had that thought as well. People will say, “She did so well because she was in sales before this and she sold mops in Walmart.” And yes, I did have that skill, but I had never sold myself as well and that was also very different. And I had also, I had to go get the people. I was given the product. I was given the store. I was given the location. I was given the microphone. There was still a lot on me after that.

But as entrepreneurship, you’ve got to find all of that stuff on your own before you even get the opportunity to sell. And so I still had the same thing and I just told myself, I have some skills. And I think we all do bring some skills to the life coaching business and there’s a lot I’m starting from the ground up and I have to have that beginner’s mindset.

Shayla: Yes. And the more you work on growing that, the quicker you’ll go. You have an example about if you go into a store and there’s no prices on things, how are you going to know what to buy or whatever? Something I heard a long time ago from you. That’s such a good visual because forever I was putting out all of this really great content that I spent hours and hours and hours on never actually saying ‘offer’. That’s what I did when I was still in corporate. I just taught and taught and taught and taught and didn’t sell anything because I didn’t want to say here’s what I do.

I do one year, one-on-one transformations to help you work less, make more and design a life you love. I did not say that ever. So simple, direct, making offers to help and holding the belief you have taught me. And then the final thing I put is one of the beliefs that you’ve talked about more recently in your in demand training is that clients are always coming. This was an energy shift for me. It was so good. And that’s when I went from crickets to sell, sell, sell, opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, because my energy changed.

I also had the belief that the seed work worked. And then in that training you talk about the line at the club and how you’re just going to go out there, warm them all up. I love that visual. And you said, “Say it loud and repeatedly for the people at the back.” I was so worried about how much I’m putting out there and is it annoying and oh, my God, people see one-sixth of what you put out on social, keep going, you’re okay.

Stacey: Or none of it.

Shayla: [Crosstalk] unfollow and [crosstalk] they’ll learn who you are more. I read all of your emails. I’m on every distribution list you have because I like you and I’m learning from you.

Stacey: So good. I love it. That’s so good. I like to think about the people who love to binge our content. Yes, there’s people that are going to be like, “Oh, she posts too much”, maybe. But there’s also people who, I just found someone on Instagram the other day, I’m about to do a podcast about it. But I binged her content for 90 minutes two nights ago. And I just was so obsessed  when I pulled my husband and I’m like, “You’ve got to see this.” In 90 minutes I felt like I knew who this woman was, and I just was so deeply impacted by her work.

And so I also think there are people out there who are looking to find someone to binge for 90 minutes and say, “This person has impacted me and now I’m going to be a fan for life.” And I have even tried to look to see, it was a photographer, but looked to see if I could hire her. And I was like, “I don’t think she takes just everyday people like me.” Well, I think she doesn’t take anyone. I don’t know that she charges for her photography. She’s a content creator. So I think she makes money from being a content creator. I don’t know. I couldn’t figure it out.

But I just wanted her in my life a little bit more. These were very great. I’m very humbled and I very much appreciate it, you did not need to do that, but I appreciate hearing what’s been impactful for you. Well, thank you so much for coming and sharing all of your story. There’s so much to learn from it, but the number one takeaway that I think I have and I hope everyone else gets, is the power of being responsible for your brain, your reaction and the decisions you make going forward.

And if you are responsible, then do you want to choose things that feel good or feel bad and move you towards your future or not? The faster you can get towards moving yourself to the future you want, that’s the way to go.

Shayla: I love it. And then for your audience, I’m now doing one free workshop a month, either on improving your performance or your happiness.

Stacey: Love it. How do they get access to it?

Shayla: Yeah. So we’ve got shaylaking.com. You can sign up on, follow me on LinkedIn or IG Shayla.king on IG and then Shayla King is on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is actually my primary platform. And then March is my birthday month and I was born on the 11th. So just for fun, I’m going to do 11 free calls where people can get coached on whatever they want, no strings attached. No, it’s not a consult, just whatever you want to get coached on, because I thought that would be fun.

Stacey: I love LinkedIn is your primary platform. I love when people do it differently. And it’s S-H-A-Y-L-A for anyone listening. We will also have it linked all the way up in the show notes. And happy early birthday.

Shayla: Thank you.

Stacey: You’re just getting started, I can tell, the 40 previous years, all a warmup.

Shayla: All of us are just moving to that next level in life and getting whatever we want out of it, so I love it.

Stacey: So good.

Shayla: Thank you so much, Stacey.

Stacey: Thank you. I’m just so impressed by you and thank you for coming on and talking to my audience. I will talk to you soon.

Shayla: Okay, sounds good. Bye, you all.

Stacey: Bye.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part using my simple 5 step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.