Make Money as a Life Coach® with Stacey Boehman | Self Promotion in Facebook GroupsI’ve come across thousands of coaches who have been advised to self-promote in other people’s groups or communities, and I’ve witnessed it myself in my own groups and those I’ve been part of. If this is something you’ve found yourself doing and perhaps lying to yourself about, listen in.

If you’re self-promoting in other people’s Facebook groups, is it a conscious choice you’re making? Is it one you want to continue making, and do you stand by your reasons? If, like so many people, you feel ashamed of self-promotion or have even been removed from groups because of it, I want to emphasize this week that it’s 100% possible to succeed without it, and I’m showing you how.

Join me this week to learn about the highly damaging costs of self-promoting in groups with no-sales rules, and the red flags that might indicate you’re unconsciously doing this. I’m exploring what happens when you rely on other people to get ahead, how to build a larger audience on your own, and three ways you can succeed without self-promotion.


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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • 4 ways people are taught to self-promote in Facebook groups.
  • How you might be ignoring people’s boundaries around self-promotion.
  • What happens when you self-promote in groups with no-sales rules.
  • Why you can’t use someone else’s business as your client funnel.
  • Proof that you don’t need self-promotion to gain visibility and opportunities for selling.
  • 3 ways to succeed without self-promotion.


Listen to the Full Episode:


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Full Episode Transcript:



Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey, coaches, how are you? I have a doozy for you today. We’re going to talk about self-promotion in Facebook groups. And listen, here’s what I’m going to tell you, some of you all are going to have some thoughts about this episode and that’s okay. This is just my perspective, just my offering.

So this episode was inspired because one of the things that is really amazing about the 2K for 2K group, something that I feel really proud of about this program is it’s really been a place that coaches have been able to come from all walks of life. And all edges of the industry and all forms of coaching, all different certifications and niches, and just all the coaches. Such a diversity of people and globally, even.

And one of the things that you leave with when you join 2K for 2K and one of the things that you get inherently from the program is feeling good about selling. I feel very, very confident in what I teach and how I teach it. It’s very focused on what the client is experiencing and how you can show up for them to create more safety. And urge them to take action on their dreams and their lives. Also with this other piece of you can feel really amazing selling and you never have to do anything that doesn’t feel good to you.

So what happens a lot is, we get people from all walks of life on the internet that come into the community. I’m not their first business experience or their first marketing or sales experience. And so we have a lot of people that come in and they go through my course and it really wakes them up and opens their awareness to things that maybe they’ve picked up in the industry, whether from just watching people and their behavior or from learning from someone. And maybe they register it very intentionally or they don’t register it at all.

And it feels bad and it’s one of those things where they are doing it, but they don’t really love doing it. And it feels a little bit off, but they maybe can’t figure out why. And then I offer them this new opportunity to look at marketing and sales and how they could show up, how they could do it. And it really gives them a lot of freedom and confidence and it really helps them feel like they’re in integrity in selling.

I don’t typically use the words integrity and ethics when it comes to selling because this could be a whole other podcast episode. But I think that those words are very tied in to people believing that there are factual measurements of that. And I think it has to do with other people’s values. So this is not an attack on anyone who’s taught you what we’re going to talk about today, or if you’re doing it, it’s not an attack on you.

I just like to think about for everything I do, I want to feel amazing about it. And for my students when I see them doing things they don’t feel amazing about, I want to bring it up and offer my perspective and my thoughts and the experiences I’ve had. Because I have always felt really, really good selling. And people who have seen me sell even inside of my programs are always just blown away at my ability to really hold space and tell people what it’s not good for them to buy. And to be kind of neutral in those conversations.

And I also feel like I have had a super power where I’ve gotten a lot of promotion in the industry from other coaches, but without asking for it or trying to influence it on my own, take it into my own hands. And so this episode today is really just an opportunity, an offering for you if you were one of these coaches who has come through 2K or if you’ve never been through 2K. And I’m going to go through the examples of what you might have been taught. And then I’m going to give you just my thoughts about it and my concerns, things you want to look for.

And then an opportunity to think about it differently and an opportunity to still succeed without doing this. So the topic is specific to self-promotion in Facebook groups. So here’s the marketing advice that I have had coaches come into my program and tell me they’ve received. And I’m compiling lots of different things that people have said into kind of one big broad topic. But essentially they’re being taught how to self-promote in Facebook groups, which is not inherently wrong, even when there is a no selling rule in the group.

And so the advice is, how you basically get around the no selling rules and the groups are a couple of ways. You can just go in and consistently offer pure value with no call to action that’s based on the group’s topic at hand. Or you can post celebrations and kind of a before and after story, tell your story. You can start up conversations in the group and bring people into your DMs in the comments. So you guys start conversing back and forth and they’re like, “I’m really interested in this.” So like, “Yeah, sure, DM me.”

So these three I think could be very valuable and useful if you were in a group that does not have a no selling rule. Then inherently these are all great strategies for groups that don’t have a specific no selling, no solicitation rule.

The fourth one though, that I think is kind of obnoxious, no matter if it’s a group with no selling or not. I think it could not just annoy the group moderator, but also participants. But I’ve seen this a lot and it’s happened in my group before as well is, when people are instructed to go in and comment on every single post in the group. Just go down and comment on 20/30 posts in a row. So that when the participants login on their Facebook, they’re going to see 50 notifications from one person’s name. And so then they’re like, “Oh, my God, who’s this person?”

I just think the other three that I’ve mentioned could be good if there weren’t a no selling rule. This one I think is annoying to literally everyone. I would never be this person. And I would never take that advice, but it’s out there. So that’s typically the marketing advice that people get. So having said that, here’s the caution that I want to offer. So for the students coming into 2K who are saying like, “This is what I’ve been taught before. What are your thoughts on this?”

Basically me giving you just what I would say to my group on a coaching call, on a podcast. So if someone were asking me this, “I’ve been taught one of these things, how to get around the rules of a Facebook group.” Here’s what I would tell them. This is my caution around this, take it or leave it. If there is a no sales rule, just know that if you do these things, I always like to think about the model that I’m in when I’m doing something.

So I might get advice from someone or hear something or see someone doing something. And I might be like, “That’s a great idea.” And then I like to look at the model and I just like to always check every angle of the action line, because sometimes we can lie to ourselves about what we’re doing. So we could say, “I’m celebrating my results.”

But if you’re doing it with the intention to get attention, to get clients, to get people reaching out to you or paying attention to you or following you, and you’re in a no sales group. Just know that what you’re actually doing is not celebrating yourself. What you’re actually doing is not honoring someone’s personal and professional boundary. I think it’s really interesting to look at it that way. So if someone is giving you advice, any type of coach or marketer, to ignore people’s boundaries, pay attention. I think it’s worth a conversation with yourself.

I think it’s important to ask yourself if you’re willing to step over the boundaries of others to sell in their groups or to try to get clients from their groups that they have spent years and maybe even dollars, lots of dollars creating for their business. Is that the only way that you can make money? Because if you do ignore the group leader’s boundaries, you will maybe get kicked out, which people have told me in 2K, “Oh my gosh, I made this post, I got kicked out.” They have so much shame about it.

And every time we coach and we’re like, “Yeah, well, what were you doing in there?” They were like, “Well, I mean, I was trying to get clients. I was trying to get followers. I was trying to give value.” This is sometimes how we say it too is, “I was trying to give value because I know I have to give lots of value ahead of time.” But you don’t give value ahead of time to convert into sales in groups that have a no sales rule. You’re just finding a back door for their boundary.

So every time I investigate this with my students, it’s always, “I got kicked out because I was offering value ahead of time.” And it was very obvious to the moderator that this was in an effort to get clients. You might also burn the bridge with that group leader or with the members. And possibly miss out on future opportunities to learn from or collaborate with that person. I’ve had this happen a couple of times. I haven’t had it happen a ton.

I feel like once every six months or a year we’ll get someone that is very obviously self-promoting in 2K and we usually give them a couple of warnings by deleting the post and letting them know it’s very clearly broken the group rules or it’s feeling a little fishy. We don’t get it a ton, but I have had people that have even used containers, especially in 200K we’ve had this happen where people turn the peer coaching into sales calls. And I’ve had to make really specific rules against that.

And in one case I’ve even kicked a student out and refunded them and not allowed them to ever join any of my programs again. And if I find someone doing it in 2K and they have a consistent behavior of it, we have to remind them several times and then it’s kind of a battle, they never get accepted into my higher masterminds 200K, Two Million Dollar Group. Because if you’re behaving like that in one group, you’ll behave that way in the other. I take a lot of pride in creating safe spaces for people to not be being sold.

If you’re going to get coaching from the Facebook group, we want it to be because you paid for the community. That was part of your investment. So you get access to it to be coached, not to be sold. So I just want you to think about and know when you ignore those boundaries, yes, you could make money and many people do. People are doing this all over the internet. This is happening all day, every day. Lots of people are making lots of money doing it.

But on the flipside you could get kicked out, burn the bridge with the group or the members and lose out on future opportunities. And the question that I’m always asking my students is just, “Does it feel good to you? Do you want to be that person?” To me, this is very similar to anti-coach hostility and anti-coach marketing and I have a podcast about that. I need to do a new one but I coach about this a lot in all of my programs.

But I really love that I have made my money and never marketed against or put down other coaches or made them wrong. And I have never burned a bridge from unauthorized selling. I’ve never been kicked out of a group. I’ve never been warned. I’ve never had any of that. So I want to offer that I know money can be made a different way. And it feels really amazing for me to know that. Now, that may not be important to you, but if it is, if your reputation, if your relationships that you build in the industry.

This past year in 2023, I feel like the currency of all of the relationships I’ve developed over the last eight years in business or nine years, however long I’ve been in business now, that currency really paid off. I got so much advice, so many people reaching out to check on me. So many people in my corner to help me. So many conversations. I mean, it was really insane, the amount of people who stepped up when they knew I was struggling with postpartum anxiety, when they knew I was going through public criticism and canceling.

Even when I had some operation issues and some issues with our money behind the scenes and how we were operating things that had kind of really gotten away from us. And I cashed in some of those relationships for people to help me even with that, help me go through my P&L and go through it line by line and look at what’s necessary and what isn’t. And I got a lot of help from the relationships I built in the industry.

And so you don’t know when and how a relationship that you have with someone who is making a lot more money than you will pay off. You cannot foresee it. And so I just always see these coaches who come into 2K, I want to offer that I have no ill thoughts to people who teach this. I don’t think everyone’s investigated this. I don’t think that they think they’re teaching you to not honor someone’s boundary. I don’t know that that’s ever crossed their mind. They’re not thinking of it that way, but that is what’s happening.

And so I’m just here to say for my people who are asking me the questions, “What do you think about this, do you think I should do this? I’ve been taught this before.” I just want to offer my perspective on it because I don’t want this to happen to you. And I have had to coach so many people who have gotten kicked out of programs and gotten kicked out of groups and burned bridges, and they feel so much shame about it. And not just that, but then they’ve lost that future opportunity that they don’t even know what it could be and how that relationship could one day become valuable.

And so for me, I just really want to have you think about that. You have no idea how every relationship and every encounter you have will eventually pay off in the industry. And so especially when it’s peer-to-peer or even mentor to peer. I always want to offer for you that you want to really be building strong bridges, not doing anything that would burn them down or break them.

So here’s how you know you’re doing this, because I’ve had people that, once I say this, everyone gets very stressed and they’re like, “Oh my God, am I doing this?” And typically I will say this. Some of you will have thoughts because you are doing it. And some of you will have thoughts of fear that you might be doing it. And they’re very different things. One of them is, when you ask yourself, am I a narcissist? And if you have the ability to ask yourself that, you’re probably not.

So if you’re someone that’s like, “Wait, am I doing that?” You’re probably not. If you’re someone that’s like, “Oh, crap, I’m doing that.” You probably are. So here’s how you know you’re doing this. And I’m going to tell you also the thoughts that might have you doing this. And I’m also going to give you some new thoughts to think and some new scenarios to imagine. So how you know you’re doing this, and these are literally things other people have said to me, so I’m not even guessing at this stuff. This is how people have identified it in the coaching throughout the years as I coach people.

If you see the group that you’re in, whether it’s a free group or a paid group, if it has a no selling rule, if you see this group as a client funnel for you, that’s probably your first indication. The group is not a client funnel for you, even if it’s free. No one’s group that is current and existing already before you came along is the client funnel for you. It’s the client funnel who created the group. They created that. It’s their people. I will also tell you another thing that will happen that’s aside from burning bridges or anything, even if you never make it onto someone’s radar and you never get ‘caught’.

Something else that will happen is, I’ve had this a couple of times where students I heavily promoted in my programs, maybe they were coaches for me, or I put them on the podcast a lot and they were also business coaches. And then they would spend all of their time in 2K for 2K in the comments and I would find out not much later. We would go into looking at taking their multiple six figure business on to seven figures and they would be struggling because they would say, “Well on a scale level I don’t know where I would get clients. All my clients have come from you.”

And I’m like, “Wait, what? What do you mean all of your clients have come from me?” And the thing that I tell them, this is the problem, and I think I’ve said this before on a podcast, possibly. But when you make someone’s community or program, whatever it is, if you make that your intentional funnel, where you’re like, “Here’s where I get all my clients.” Your business can only grow to the extent that they also scale.

And I promise you, in order for you to scale using someone else’s business as your full client funnel, it would require them to massively scale in a way, I mean you have no idea. And so it will really cap your growth and it will cap your learning potential as well. So just as a side note, one of the things you always want to be doing, something I’ve done very intentionally in my business from day one really, once I decided to be a coach for coaches and business coach and sales coach is I decided I wanted my community to be very diverse.

Of course, I will always serve all of The Life Coach School people that come my way. I absolutely love that. And also I really wanted my work to really reach the entire industry. And so I’ve taken a lot of effort and time to really think out my process of someone who didn’t know anything from The Life Coach School and to market to those people. And to really make it, everything you hear in my marketing is about all the different types of coaches in our program and all the different niches and certified coaches and not certified coaches and people who call themselves life coaches or someone who calls them a health coach.

And I just make a really big point to market in a diverse way and to find different audiences on the internet now, through my ads. And even to create topics that I think would appeal to lots of different groups. And that’s just an intentional scaling. Knowing that if I want to be as big as I want to be, I’m going to need coaches from everywhere. I’m going to find all of those people and teach them sales. So that was a little bit of a tangent.

But if you see someone else’s group or program as a client funnel for you or if you think, my ideal clients are in here, probably your first red flag. If it’s a coaching group or a group about, I don’t know, any topic where there’s lots of participation and you never participate as someone who needs answers, you only participate as someone who has them. Pay attention to that. You only participate as someone who needs answers versus someone who has them.

If you spend more time in someone else’s community rather than building your own, that’s another red flag. If you’re signing clients from that community frequently or at all, period, that’s also probably a sign. So here are the thoughts that will have you doing this. If you tell yourself, I can’t find people any other way. If you tell yourself I have a better solution for them. If you tell yourself, I can help the people who aren’t getting it.

I once saw this happen, this was a couple years ago, but one of my students, you could just tell that she had taken my marketing language and put it on her sales page. I don’t even remember the exact language, but it was very similar to, if you’re struggling with this thing, that is what Stacey teaches. Here is the solution.

I was like, “Okay, hold on. We’ve got to take your business and make it bigger. We have to make your audience bigger than people who have just heard from me, because even though 5,000 people sounds like a lot for 2K for 2K, it’s actually a very small audience.” So again, not going to be able to scale from that perspective. If you’re thinking, I’m just celebrating and you just happen to celebrate all the time and it’s the only thing you do and that’s the only way you participate in the group. Just look into it, just question it.

If you tell yourself, this is one I’ve coached someone on recently is, but all groups have a no selling rule. No they don’t. I’m going to give you this example. I was in a group once, she eventually turned it to a no selling rule, but I was in this big marketers group for a year and a half. There were no selling rules and everybody was in there selling to each other and it was the vibe of the group. And it was so much fun, I used to host giveaways in there. I would promote my friends in there. I mean it was so fun. So I do know that those groups exist.

Now, after 18 months she eventually decided, I’m going to use this for my business funnel 100%. My guess is people took maybe more advantage in some way. I don’t really know. But there are groups out there and they can be so much fun and you just have to find them or you create your own. And you drive people by meeting them and telling them who you are and offering to help you drive them to your group.

The other thought that you might have that could be really sneaky is, people won’t invite me or give me visibility without taking it into my own hands. And I say that that’s sneaky because I don’t think it’s intentional in our brain, conscious in our brain. I think that might happen, it’s a deeper layer of investigation. I teach this a lot too with, why do you DM someone, why do you reach out to someone and say, “Hey, I think you’d be a great client for me”, is because you don’t believe they would reach out to you if you just provided really good steady value and you made offers for people to reach out to you.

In 2K for 2K there’s a whole module on that on allowing people to come to you. Well, it’s the same for allowing opportunities to come to you and allowing visibility to come to you is, what would you need to believe in order to attract that to you? I was just coaching my new Two Million Dollar Group and we have a student, Erika Cruz in there. And one of the things that we were talking about that she is so good at is, attracting really lucrative, high paying or high visibility opportunities to her. And that’s what she teaches some of her clients.

And when I was thinking about that, I’m like, “Yes, so many people do that.” So many people are attracting opportunities to them. One of my students, Jay Ramsden, just was featured in, oh, my gosh, what journalist article was it? The Wall Street Journal, maybe. We’ll find it and we’ll post it in the show notes. He has a pretty big TikTok following. And some journalist found him on TikTok and it was not a hit piece. A legit coaching piece on the coaching industry, about empty nesters. And he got featured in the article.

So there are so many ways that you will have visibility that come to you. You have to believe that first, you have to decide ahead of time that that is available for you. And then the thing that I really invite you to question is, thinking about you in the future after you have created your group, your people, your audience, whether it’s a free community or a paid community, or you have both, whatever it is.

How will you want people to treat your groups when you do the heavy lifting to create them and maintain engagement? For the sake of your personal business, when you pour in day and night, day after day into that community, do you want people doing sneaky shit to you too? Even if it’s unintentional, even if it’s a workaround, do you want them doing that with you? So I want to give you more proof. Here’s what I know.

I have been invited to sell my offer on other people’s stages without asking. I have been invited to collaborate and create programs with people without asking. I have been invited on tons of podcasts and multiple times without asking. I have been promoted by multiple coaches and had my coaching featured in their programs, multiple coaches without asking.

And I’ve done that all by three things, creating value and being an asset, being an expert and people just watching me deliver value in my lane and then coming over to my lane from recognizing my value and inviting me to their lane. I’ve also done it by building relationships versus burning them down. I am one of those people where I’m very meticulous about what are the rules in other people’s spaces, and I follow them.

Which is actually really the third one, which is knowing when and what is appropriate and honoring other people’s boundaries, which is what really helps build relationships. I always say I’m the best house guest. When I come into someone else’s community, either I’m not going to engage at all because I’m a watcher and I’ll still be the most improved player, or I’m going to totally engage like crazy and be the most improved player. Either way, I’m going to follow all of the rules. And I’m going to make sure that I am on top of my brain, especially if it’s in a competing space.

I never ever want to have a situation where a coach feels like I’m in their space trying to get clients from their audience. I would never do that because I really respect the value of the relationships that I create and foster in the community. The same is true with my clients, when they have me on their podcast, if they do have me on their podcast, I love to just sell and promote them, tell their audience why they should buy from them. I’ll always answer all the questions and talk about me where appropriate, but I really love doing that too.

And I always want to just give my clients the best leg up that I possibly can. I used to tell people this, it hasn’t really been a factor in the last, I would say probably three or four years. But before when I was a little bit smaller in my business and some of my clients might have been closer to me in income and I would always tell them, “Listen, I will never take a client over you.” So if someone, I don’t know, if they sent an application for 200K and they were in someone else’s program and they were going to be leaving.

I might reach out, especially if they were a close client and be like, “Hey, I just want to let you know this person applied. Do you have any feelings about that?” I don’t want to put our relationship in any sort of jeopardy because even though I don’t think we own clients at all. This is not what I’m talking about here. I’ll talk about that in a second. Clients go to other people at free will and we have no ownership over them. For me, I just never wanted my clients to feel in any way that they would have to worry about me around their audience in any way, shape or form.

So I was always very sensitive about that. Now we just have such a big business, we don’t typically know. Sometimes I might ask if an application comes up and it looks like I might want to just check with someone. But we don’t tell people no, just because they’re leaving someone else. In the beginning. I remember I had clients that were very grateful for that. It maintained our trust.

And for me, it was always about the client who signed with me first, especially if they were working with me one-on-one. If they signed with me first, that relationship was always going to be in the hierarchy of new relationships. So for me, that has just always been, I’m just the best house guest. You could have me over and your best friend is not going to become my best friend, I promise. I’m not going to try to make them my best friend. I’m going to honor that they’re your best friend. We could still be friends, but I’m not going to try to take over that role. I don’t know if that’s the best analogy.

And listen, this is the other thing I know. I have also invited so many of my students onto my podcast, promoted their businesses when it made sense, had them teach on stage or teach in my programs. And I love to do that. I will just tell you, for me, I love to do that, especially in 2K for 2K, my students who are killing it in 200K or Two Million Dollar Group. I really love to have them come in and teach because number one, I think they’re closer to the problem than I am now.

And so we like to alternate between me and someone that maybe is closer to them and has closer personal experience in their memory. But also because I want to give them an opportunity to learn how to command bigger groups of people. If they can get comfortable coaching to hundreds of people on a coaching call in my communities then they’re much more apt to be able to run their first group with 30 people in it and so I give them those opportunities.

And I am more apt to do that or only ever doing that when I sense that that person will honor my boundaries. And if I ever get a sense that they won’t, I bring someone else in because I just never want it to be a problem. And in general, I just don’t think you ever have to step on someone’s neck or slam someone in your marketing to get ahead. I just want to offer that to you.

Even though I don’t teach Facebook Ads, I will be very open because it is part of my teaching, that I don’t think it’s a good idea to run them until you have a certain number of things set up. The ability to close calls and you have your marketing language and you know what your offer is and you’re consistently selling it. But I also don’t slam ads people. And I openly talk about how I think some people can just start ads right out of the gate and they’ll just kill it. They just get it. They know how to make it work. I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen it so many times, especially in The Life Coach school, I don’t know if they still teach that, but that is the strategy they used to teach. And people were really successful. Instead of thinking, I have to make them wrong, or I have to call this out and I have to slam people who teach Facebook Ads. I bet there’s people in the world who are like me, would never be able to get an ad up when they’re still trying to figure out who they are and what they offer and figure out sales calls and figure out messaging. And so I was just like, “I’m going to go find those people.”

I’m going to go find the people that are more like me and who might need what I have to offer. So I just don’t think you have to do it. And so then it just becomes, is it conscious or not? Is it a choice you even know you’re making? And now that you’ve heard this podcast, now that you know there is a choice, which one do you want to make? And do you love your reasons?

But I want to offer that what if you spent all that time, and if I didn’t mention the specific marketing thing for you. I just chose the top ones I’ve heard or even seen in my own communities and that I’ve coached people on. But whatever it is, if it’s not jiving with you, if it doesn’t feel good, if you know deep down it’s not 100% gravy. Then take the time you would spend doing those things and spend time creating your groups, building your audience and your value. I promise you, it will feel so much better to be the best house guest and you won’t be walking around burning bridges.

Now, the final thing I want to say is, this does not mean, this episode, my intention, this does not mean that you don’t give value to your peers or people’s communities. I have so many clients who have created so much value for my people. And they do it because they love to give back. I do this myself. I pretty much have a standing offer to help The Life Coach School any time they ask. I’ll speak. I’ll coach.

I’ll do anything they ask of me, I’m likely going to do it if I’m able to because I just love that community so much. And I want people to succeed. And I want them to have help the way that I did, and also just because I feel so indebted to my coach in just the best way possible. I’m still in awe of who I was when I met her and have not let a day go by where I don’t forget that. And I just feel it’s just a lifetime of gratitude and then a desire to endlessly reciprocate. That’s how I genuinely feel.

And sometimes just serving anyone can give you the biggest confidence boost. Sometimes my students will say, “I wasn’t feeling so great in my business, but I went in and I helped a 2Ker on something and then it reminded me, I know what I’m doing.” And then they went out and wrote an amazing marketing post for themselves. So that can be really inspiring as well.

I was recently giving webinar feedback to one of my peers and I was having kind of a hard week. And I gave the feedback and I was like, “Yeah. I am freaking good at this. Hell yeah.” It can be giving back. It can be to be a confidence boost. It can be because any time you serve, it puts you in that energy that takes you out of your suffering. It can be for so many reasons, because you enjoy it. So it doesn’t mean, don’t participate because you’re afraid of looking like that. Just check your own stuff. You’ve got to be responsible for you.

Now, this also doesn’t mean, don’t pitch yourself to podcast or group owners or as a speaker in some community for the value you give. You can pitch people all day long. They may not respond, but they might. So it doesn’t mean don’t pitch yourself. It also doesn’t mean reject someone who comes your way because you’re afraid of looking like doing this. Clients have free will, you all, we don’t own them. I’ve had to coach a lot of people on this too. We don’t own the peoples.

You don’t own the people on your list. You don’t own the people in your community. So this is not a, this is their clients’ talk or this is my clients’ talk. None of that. It’s a, don’t lose future opportunities and burn bridges by shady selling talk, or at least be really clear that that’s what you’re doing. Consciously make that choice if you do not want to honor someone’s boundary, just consciously make it.

Because I promise I feel like I can say on behalf of all group leaders, you’ve all got to know, we know. We know when you’re doing it. If you are someone that’s doing it, the group leader knows, and if you’re not doing it, they also know. If you’re just helping people, they know. I’m telling you, you can tell the difference. People have argued with me about this, of whether someone could tell a difference. And this is what I always tell them, for me, at least in my personal experience.

I can’t speak for all group leaders, I guess, but this is what I tell them. Listen, you might think you’re being, sneaky is not the right word. They always just think covert, maybe. You might think you’re doing a long workaround, but from my personal experience I see over 100 posts a day in 2K for 2K, 1,000 a week. And when only one makes the entire team’s spidey sense go up, we don’t spend a lot of time investigating that. We’re just like, “Why were there 1,000 posts and this was the only one that stood out?”

And I will also say that I have also gone and looked at people’s profiles when my team was like, “Oh, I don’t know”, when they bring me something and I’m like, “Well, go look at their profile.” Every single time it’s a coach coaching a coach, a business coach who coaches coaches, a general life coach who happens to coach on business. Or they’re coaching clients under the table, but it’s not really their niche. Every time you’re able to see, every time. I’m like, “What? What’s going on here? It’s so obvious.”

So people know you’re doing it and some people will be generous. We typically give a couple of warnings because I know that people don’t intend to do this. And we’re really big on not shaming people. We don’t typically reach out and do this whole thing. We’re never upset about it. We’re just like, “Hey, these are starting to look a little self-promotion. We want you to participate as a student as well. We love to see the celebration posts or we love to see all the commenting, but just keep it out of the DMs.”

Whatever, there’s no shame in our group. We’re not shaming people. Sometimes I have in the past gotten a little bit feisty. I will say this. I have gotten a little feisty, especially when people are DMing my people. That makes me a little more feisty. And those people typically just get kicked out. But I’ve calmed down a lot over the years and I’m just really leaning into how can I solve these problems instead of being upset or mad about them? Also how can I teach you to not be doing that with other people?

And I think it’s calmed me down over the years because I’ve had so many people that now I’ve coached on them feeling terrible about it when they’ve been kicked out of someone else’s group or whatever the scenario is. And I know they genuinely, if they have another way to think about it they would take it.

So that’s this episode. I hope it helps. Don’t shame yourself. If you want to get some coaching in 2K, get some coaching. I’m happy to coach you, but yeah, just think about it. Make the decision for yourself. Don’t just grab anything you see other people do or anything that people tell you in the industry. This is what my coach always says, “Check your body. How does it feel inside?” Alright, have an amazing week. Love you all. Talk to you next week.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first 2,000 the hardest part and then 200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk free, you either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to We’ll see you inside.

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