Make Money as a Life Coach® | Celebrating YourselfI’m taking this week to celebrate wins and show you how you can start the practice of celebrating yourself. I’m so proud of the life coaching industry for already being virtual and serving people when they need it the most. My team and I are working harder than ever during this crisis, and you can be doing the same in your business.

As humans, we have a hard time celebrating ourselves, especially if you’re someone socialized as a woman. Our brains go into panic mode when we look for reasons to find joy in our surroundings and celebrate ourselves because its job is to scan for danger everywhere. But thinking thoughts that allow you to celebrate and bask in the glory of the epic stuff you’ve achieved is crucial to making it a consistent practice, and constantly celebrating makes you someone who is constantly creating.

Celebrating yourself isn’t just a nice thing to do in terms of making yourself feel better – you’ll be surprised at how much more efficient you can become in your business, too. Every adjustment you make in your business and every step along the way to your journey, even if they didn’t go as planned, will give you a new perspective on ways to move forward and unleash your problem-solving skills and resourcefulness.

If you want to start making serious money as a coach, you need to check out 2K for 2K. Click here to join!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why I’m celebrating the life coaching industry.
  • How to celebrate yourself.
  • Why we have a hard time celebrating ourselves.
  • The reason you have to celebrate yourself at every step along the way to your goals.
  • What celebrating consistently does for you.
  • How I celebrate on purpose.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 67. We’re going to talk about how to celebrate yourself, how to celebrate. How to celebrate yourself, how to celebrate everything, mainly yourself. But first, I want to celebrate the coaching industry.

So, I’m recording this podcast during the world’s Corona Virus pandemic. Where we are all under home quarantine, for our own safety. The world right now is scrambling to figure out how to become virtual. But we’ve been doing this as coaches forever. This is our jam. We’re ready for it. Bring it! We’re not experiencing any hiccups in how we do.

Unless one of our platforms has a hiccup, like Facebook or Zoom. Zoom has had some issues, just from volume. They’re struggling with volume. Normally I produce this podcast on Zencastr and I could not get on today. It just kept loading and loading. And they said they were experiencing longer than normal processing times. For just an hour I couldn’t get on.

And I’m like, “You know what? I know what to do…” because I’m virtual. My business has always been virtual. I’m going to get on Zoom. I’m going to hit record and I’m going to do this podcast. I’m going to download the audio and I’m going to send it to my producer, and we are going to get it done.

Now, the quality of sound will not be as great as it normally is, but we are going to get it done. That, I think is so amazing. I’m celebrating our industry. Not just myself for being resourceful, but our industry. I was thinking about as coaches, we are forced to learn all of this tech stuff in order to succeed and grow our business. And it’s so hard. This is where most people get stuck. This is where I got stuck for so long. The technology used to freak me out. I mean, I didn’t even do a website until I made 100k because I’m like, “Technology, I can’t do any of it.”

And now here I am, like… I know it’s kind of a small thing, but I’m like, “Listen, I know exactly what to do when Zencastr goes down. I do not have to turn in my podcast late. I do not have to wait for Zencastr to work. I do not have to wait for the circumstance to be better because we life coaches have thought work, so we know to problem solve. We know how to come up with solutions and this is not our first rodeo with tech. You feel me?

Some of y’all haven’t, I know, started doing the tech stuff yet, but just simple stuff like this. I make anyone who does any kind of work with me do Zoom meetings. I just love being face-to-face. It’s so funny every time I meet with someone for the first time, just doing a Zoom meeting itself is so difficult for them the first time.

I think it probably was for me too; I don’t remember. It always cracks me up, the level of drama when people have when I’m like, “Oh, we are going to meet on Zoom.”

And one of my good friends Lindsay posted in our 200k mastermind today that she just observed her younger daughter’s teacher doing the first Zoom class. And she said, we joke in the – we don’t joke in the 200k mastermind we have a standard, it’s pretty serious one about showing up. And she said, “I’m going to have to talk with her teacher about the standard.” I can’t wait to hear what that’s about.

But it stresses people out, going virtual. And so many businesses are in a panic to keep up with demand. We have, in this pandemic, I’ve pushed my team harder than I ever have probably before, from a place of service. We want to get helping as many people as possible. Even if it wasn’t in the plan or the schedule, which is normally perfectly articulated and executed and well-thought out, well in advance.

And I’m like, “Listen, we’re doing this. We’re going to do live coaching calls every day in 2K. Let’s get it up and going.” We are doing a training, and I’m like, “Let’s do a pop-up group and I’m going to live stream every day, and I’m going to talk about selling in a crisis.”

So, I’m pushing all these things at them. They are working so hard, bless their hearts, to get everything up and running. To serve everyone and I forgot what I was saying.

But I just absolutely love this opportunity. I love we already know how to do this thing. Oh, that’s what it was – that we are not slowing down! We don’t even have to slow down. Even though I’m pushing them hard, we don’t have to scramble. We don’t have to learn new platforms, in an instant.

So, I just want to celebrate. I want to celebrate this industry for already being virtual. For having this opportunity. For seeing how important it is for learning how to use and manage our minds to find solutions. And to know how to move forward and be resourceful, no matter what. I think it’s fantastic!

Okay, enough about that, my little mini rant. Let’s talk about how to celebrate yourself. So, we have the hardest time doing this as humans. Seriously, the hardest time. Your brain is set up, like the way that it operates, is almost for it to almost panic a little when you want to feel joy and celebrate. Because its job is to find all the scary things.

One of my clients wrote in 200K, after she made her first 100K, which it made me realize I have to record this podcast, but I really blew my mind for what a problem this is for us. She wrote, “I barely have a sense of what celebrating means, but it seems to be the secret sauce that I want because it brings amazing energy that just begets more amazing energy.”

So, I want to take a moment for this. So, think about this, my client has made $100,000 from stretch. Show now employs herself, supports her family, changes people’s lives, and she barely has a sense what celebrating means.

I’m like, “What?” I see this as a normal case for humans, but I find, that because I work with a lot of women – I don’t only work with women, but I work with a lot of women – I see it especially for women. We are so used to putting ourselves down that we have no idea how to lift ourselves up.

And if you think this is not you, I want to encourage you to keep listening because I don’t think anyone escapes this. It can be very sneaky because your thoughts determine what calls for a celebration or not. So, many of you might not be celebrating, or actually you might be celebrating but not nearly enough because you do this epic shit, but you’re not seeing it as epic shit. And allowing yourself to bask in that glory.

Even for me, I find sometimes that, I do this really huge, amazing things and then I don’t take the active time to sit down and celebrate myself. Or to take that active second to celebrate myself.

Again, it just goes back to that our brains aren’t wired for interpreting the world for interrupting the world in a celebratory fashion. Our brain’s job is to find problems, not celebrate solutions. We are literally asking our brain, when we celebrate, to do a different job than it was designed to do. But the most amazing thing is that it will do whatever you tell it do, if you persist.

It’s one of the biggest things that we teach in 2K for 2K. We celebrate every dollar that comes in, to get the practice of celebrating. To start rewiring the brain to begin the practice of persistence because remember, the most practiced thinking wins. We want to practice thinking about wins, so that we create more wins.

Think about the energy of when you feel like you’re winning. When you feel like you’re winning, you go out to create more wins. It’s just that energy, it motivates you. It excites you. It makes you on fire.

When you feel like you’re losing, your brain is like, “I don’t want to feel like I’m losing. So, I’m going to sit on the couch and eat cookies.” Creating wins, celebrating wins, acknowledging wins, creates more energy that goes out and creates more wins.

In 2K, we don’t just celebrate the money. We also celebrate all the little markers along the way, before the money shows up. If you remember at the beginning of this year, I taught on this podcast about creating a track record of achievement in the beginning. And in the beginning, it won’t be about money. It can’t because you haven’t made it yet.

And even when you start making a lot of money, really and you start taking time from selling to do bigger projects. When you get to that 200K-5000K, million-dollar level, there will be a time when you are working in the trenches, that can literally be months. If you don’t celebrate the little success along the way, and create that track record of achievement, you will run yourself down. You will lose perspective on how much work you have done and how far you have come.

So, it’s imperative that you always look for and track success and celebrate them, so you don’t lose perspective on your growth. I had to do this, this year. We spent four long months, that’s what it felt like, working on our backend systems and processes and doing a lot of creating to support the growth that we want to have this year. And we weren’t actively selling anything. And our Facebook, which normal sell for us, which is fantastic, we were in Facebook ad purgatory and having to rehab the account, so that really wasn’t bring in the money either.

And there was a little bit of time where, like I have such belief in myself and what we’re doing was going to accomplish the results, but there was still a painful four-month period where we weren’t selling, the Facebook ads weren’t producing, we were busy working and grinding every day. Not in a hustley way, but just going to work and working hard, a full workweek, and not being able to lean on money as the success marker for the action and what we were doing.

So, I had to make a list and celebrate all the things that we were accomplishing in our business. I wrote out this list for the first quarter of every single thing that we did; for the first two months, really. And every single thing that we did and I posted it to my team and I shouted each of them out for their contribution and what they worked hard to create.

I just felt it’s so important because it’s easy sometimes to celebrate when you’re like really pulling in the money when it’s like crazy insane, blow your mind money. But once that blow your mind money happens and you get used to bringing in that money that blows your mind and it stops blowing your mind, even when it’s that level of money. And then, when you’re not bringing in money at all, or very little money because you’re in a different growth period in your business, and you’re focusing on a different area of your business. It really gets you through to track each and every little thing. How you were different today, versus yesterday, what assets you created.

I wrote a book in February for my 200K mastermind, and it is one of the greatest things I have ever written and ever done. And I am so proud of it. I celebrate myself for that book all the damn time.

We created a brand-new evergreen funnel that is so much better than the funnel we were running, like the content and the copy. We did so many things in that period. We really created a lot that will make us a lot of money in the future, and I just celebrated the crap out of that. So, I was more compelled to keep working when I wasn’t seeing that immediate result.

I think in the beginning, it’s the hardest part because you work for a while potentially, before you ever see those first dollars come in, and if you don’t celebrate yourself along the way – like your first Facebook live, your first consultant, every consult after, even if you don’t sell, every adjustment you make at a consult.

In 2K, we do an evaluation and you focus on what worked first, then what didn’t work, then what you’re going to specifically do different, that work is everything. It works for so many reasons, but celebrating yourself for what worked, each consult, even if they don’t sign, even puts you brain in a more logical perspective to look at the things that didn’t work and create your plan moving forward. It keeps your negative emotion low and your intelligence very high. That’s what celebrating does; it brings up your level of intelligence.

Oh my gosh, what’s the guy, his name, Shawn Achor did a Ted Talk, we will link it up in the show notes, but he talks about when your brain is happy… and I don’t remember exactly how he talks about it. Whether it’s joy or success or whatever, but he says, when you’re feeling great, you literally become 33% more efficient. You get 33% more things done. I think that number could even be higher, when you’re celebrating.

Especially in the beginning, it’s like, imagine if you make 33% more money in the beginning. If you get 33% more done, it’s a lot. That 33% may not seem like a lot, but it really is. So, you’ve got to celebrate the first live, every consult, every adjustment you make and each time you get better and what you get better at, so you can create that compounding percentage of motivation and energy and creation. Even if it’s not monetary creation, that will lead to 33% better results.

You have to celebrate that you’re doing it. That you’re in the arena. Once you are in the arena creating results, I want you to look for this, your brain’s going to want to tell you, once those results come in, that you don’t know how you created them and therefore, it was a fluke and it isn’t repeatable.

To combat this, I like to celebrate with purpose. I celebrate by telling myself exactly how I created that result and made that money. That is true celebration; that you take full ownership of creating the thing to be celebrated. When you own the result, you can celebrate it. Just like, when you own the result, if it’s not one you want, you can change it.

Owning the result is going to unleash your problem-solving skills, your resourcefulness and owning the results that you create and telling yourself exactly how you did it, makes you a person who is constantly celebrating, therefore constantly creating. You won’t feel like you can celebrate what was just lucky, that just happened.

Now to celebrate you also have to interpret the thing you are taking responsibility for as relevant and worthy of celebration. Ever catch yourself saying, you do something, really that at one point was scary or seemed very hard – you do it and you say, “Actually, it wasn’t that hard. It didn’t hurt that bad.”

You did some big thing that you were scared to do or you thought would be hard and you did it. In that one sentence, “It wasn’t that hard.” Or, “It didn’t hurt that bad,” or “It wasn’t that bad’” you take all the credit from yourself.

You diminish what you did by telling yourself, after the fact that it wasn’t that hard. It might not have been, but instead, tell yourself, “I just did some big shit. I just did a Facebook live that I thought would kill me and turns out it wasn’t that bad, But I thought it was going to be and I did it anyways.” Or, “It was that bad and I did it anyways. And I survived it and it’s going to get much less bad each time.”

If you ask your client the hard question that you would normally skip past and chicken out on in a consult, even if they don’t sign, you better celebrate your face off. I remember when I started out, that was the hardest thing, is saying that thing that came up in my brain. And I’m like, “Oh, I can’t say that; that’ll make them mad.” And when I said that thing, if it did make them mad, even if they didn’t sign with me, I always celebrated having the courage to do that. Because I always felt like, and I will tell you 100% now, in hindsight – knowing in hindsight – that it 100% is making you a better coach, every time you do that.

So, it’s a practice to think about intentionally and believe that you and the things you do are worthy of celebrating. What you have to do, is you have to first bring focus to it. It’s going to feel uncomfortable because our brains are most comfortable feeling bad and scared and being alert to all the terrible possibilities.

When you’re alert to the amazing things, this is what your brain thinks is going to happen, it thinks you’re going to miss a lion coming at you from behind. It’s the other shoe dropping feeling. The other shoe, it’s going to drop.

Can I just tell you, a side note, I am reading, I’m almost done, but I feel like I should say I just read Glennon Doyle’s Untamed. I highly recommend it. I couldn’t recommend it more. In the book, she talks about waiting for the shoe to drop is often much more scary and hard than dealing with it dropped.

That has changed a lot for me. But I experience that the other shoe dropping feeling a lot. I’m constantly reminding myself that, “Oh, your brain is just thinking that a lion is going to come at me from behind. That’s all my brain is trying to tell me. Don’t celebrate, don’t get excited, don’t feel too much joy. You might miss the lion. You might get lazy and it might eat you.”

This happens so much for my clients. They fear celebrating because they think either – this is how it actually shows up – number one, the celebration will cause them to lose the client before they actually pay. So, it’s the whole, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch” thing, that we’re told as kids. We’re like, “Oh my god, If I celebrate too soon, I’ll jinx myself.” That’s how it shows up for my clients. That’s the first way, missing the lion coming at you.

The second way it comes up is they are already believing that client won’t actually pay. They already just believe, without having any evidence, that lion is already coming at them.

Here’s what I decided, I don’t even know how I decided this, how I came to this conclusion, but I decided this, and it changed everything for me. I decided to celebrate all clients saying yes, and to believe they would pay, until they didn’t or until they did. Because celebrating felt so good and waiting by PayPal did not.

I seen some of y’all. Checking to your email to see if that notification is in there every hour. That does not feel good. You have to catch yourself waiting to see if they texted, checking in on them. That doesn’t feel good. Don’t check in on your clients if they haven’t paid, seriously.

That’s another thing I side note. Don’t do it. If you feel the need to do that, you’re not celebrating that client. You’re not celebrating them and their decision. You’re not trusting them. You’re already thinking a lion’s chasing them. Don’t wait by PayPal. Just celebrate.

And then, deal with the shoe dropping if it does. I used to think about that. I’ll deal with it; if they don’t sign, they don’t sign. I already, this is the thought that I concluded that helped me celebrate every yes before they paid, is the worst-case scenario if they don’t pay is, I’m exactly where I’m at now and I’m already in this and I’m doing okay. I haven’t died. The lion isn’t eating me.

Also, I did this, looking back, this is also why I did this, is because who I was and what I did between the client saying yes and actually paying, when I allowed myself to believe it was true and that I could celebrate was go out and get more clients. Think about you and what you do when you’re waiting for a client to pay, you haven’t let yourself celebrate the yes because you’re thinking they’re not going to do and believing ahead of time that they’re not going to or you’re believing that if you celebrate you are going to jinx yourself.

When you don’t let yourself celebrate, what do you do? How do you spend your time? What energy do you bring to your business? Are you actively going out and taking that celebration energy to go get more clients? Or are you just sitting around waiting and stewing? And thinking about that client possibly not paying. That energy will make them not pay. It’s so fascinating, but seriously it will push your client energetically away, somehow in the Universe. It literally is just you pushing money away.

And then think about how you show up and what you do and how you feel and what you create when you genuinely believe a client said yes and that they’re going to pay and I’m celebrating and you’re actively celebrating it, you’re going to go out and get more clients. When I didn’t let myself celebrate until the cash is in the bank, I just sat around waiting for the cash. Don’t do that!

It also feels uncomfortable to celebrate ourselves because we have been told lies about celebrating. This is one of the last things I want to address. We’ve been told that it makes us braggers, is that the right word? It makes us conceited. Or it’s not humble. That we shouldn’t shine a light on ourselves. And that we need to be that humble word. You might even have someone in mind that brags and it feels terrible, and you feel so resistant that you’re like, “I don’t want to be like that.”

But really celebrating is what we do. It’s the action that we take. For those of you that work with the model, it’s the A line of the model. And it comes from our thinking. Bragging is what we do, and it comes from a different way of thinking. It comes from a different model.

It’s the model of, “I have this result and I’m better than you because of it.” Versus “I feel so proud of myself because I created this result.” These are not the same things. I want to encourage you to find people who celebrate themselves and it feels inspiring and exciting and motivating to you. Find those people. I celebrate myself and my monies and my fiancé and my love frequently to be an example of what’s possible.

I do it believing it doesn’t make me any better than anyone else who’s making less money or who hasn’t found love or who isn’t in a relationship that feels the way mine does, whatever the circumstances. I don’t do that to feel better than anyone. I do it because it makes me the best version of me. And it creates my reality to see more things to celebrate.

I remember there was a time where I used to question all the time if Neil was the one. I realized one day that I was being in a relationship of someone really not being the one, by every time I was questioning it. And I’m like, I had a thought to myself when I was walking my dog, “I don’t even know what it’s to be in a relationship with Neil where he’s the one. I’ve never decided he was, so I don’t even know what that relationship’s like. How can I ever even decide if I want to marry this guy, if I don’t know what that relationship would be like.”

So, I just decided, he was the one. I started celebrating him and our love and everything about us, all of the time. Just actively bringing attention to it, even if it was uncomfortable, just bringing attention to him. Showering him with compliments. Talking about it every time I got a chance to everybody that would listen and telling all the things and noticing all the things he was doing and noticing the things he was saying and noticing every little touch of my hand our brush of my hair, noticing everything and it made me fall so crazily in love, that I can’t imagine ever being with anybody else. It’s like not even a doubt in my mind because now I know, number one, that I’m the one who creates it.

When I’m celebrating Stacey in the relationship of Stacey and Neil, it’s a good relationship. When I’m expectant Stacey, who has expectations, it’s not good. But celebrating has been the game changer for our relationship, for my business. It makes me a better human, not a worse human.

So, here’s what I want you to think about; celebrating is the act of letting in success, letting in joy and pride and love. Think about this; is there anyone in your life that you wouldn’t want them to let more joy and love and pride in their life. So, why wouldn’t you want it for you?

Lastly, lastly, I want you to think about my client’s statement, that celebrating begets celebrating. We’ve already talked about this, but amazing energy begets more amazing energy. This is always true. I always say that no one wants to buy life coaching from a life coach who hates their life. That’s a little bit of a dramatization, but the sentiment is to show you where you need to work when you first start your business. And the best way to work on this is to start finding things to celebrate now, without doing anything.

Gratitude is another word for celebration. To be grateful is to honor and give notice to what you already have, to celebrate it. I remember when I first became a coach, I was a person with a lot of negative thinking and responding to the world. Almost everything that came out of my mouth felt bad to me.

I remember a friend once getting really tired of it. We were sitting outside of a yoga class, after class and she just snapped. She started going through everything in her life in that exact moment and she could be grateful for and it really hit me. She was more conscious and aware of her life. She was more present in it.

I wasn’t present in my life because I was too busy complaining about it. I was missing all of it. The things that she said, literally, were things I was not seeing, but that they were happening all around us. I was part of her story. I was a part of her day. Yet, I didn’t see any of the stuff she was talking about because I was too busy being a Negative Nelly about it; complaining and feeling sorry for myself and pitying and being negative and all of the things.

I always say that my brain leans more negative than the typical brain. I think some of us have that, like we experience depression and anxiety and heightened sense of worry and fear of that lion running after us. So, celebrating and gratitude didn’t come as easily, but it did come with practice, with noticing, with paying attention.

What do I have? What do I love? What is amazing? What have I done? What am I creating? How have I grown? What am I grateful for? What do I want to celebrate? Who do I want to celebrate? Why do I want to celebrate me? What can I celebrate about me?

The more I did this, the more people started reaching out to me in my business. I shifted who I was being in the world and people noticed. I didn’t pretend-shift for my marketing. I really deeply shifted. When I thought about possibly having to live in a box on the street, I felt grateful for the box, truly.

I made it my life mission and people felt it and they wanted it. I wanted more of me, which I think is the most important thing. When I want more of me, the whole world wants more me. Neil always says, he calls me Boosey, and he always says, “Happy Boosey, is a good Boosey,” and when he doesn’t have happy Boosey, he’s stressed.

Energy begets energy. You’ve got to develop the celebration energy. Alright, celebrate your industry. We are in such an incredible time, where the ground could be falling out from underneath us, but we are prepared. We’re are part of an industry that’s already been doing all of the things. If you want to be grateful for anything, be grateful for yourself for deciding become a life coach.

Alright, have an amazing week, I’ll talk to you tomorrow on another bonus episode.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.

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