Ep #61: Consult Purgatory

 In Podcast

I just got back from my 200K mastermind, where I witnessed coaches from all backgrounds, niches, and experiences come together. This get-together was such an eye-opener to me and solidified my belief that anyone can be a coach if they are willing to stop at nothing. Lots of people mistakenly believe that you have to have a certain something about you, or that only some people can be successful coaches, and today I’m on a mission to prove you wrong.

On this episode, I’m introducing you to a concept I call consult purgatory. You might also know it as the “river of misery,” and it’s something that all of us go through if we’re doing it right. You can’t escape it indefinitely, but you can manage it, and that’s what I’m showing you how to do today.

Listen in this week to discover why you might be in a stage where you’re chronically getting no’s in your consults, or not making any money in your business. It’s painful and discouraging, but know that even I go through this periodically. You might be making it last longer than it needs to, and so I’m giving you actionable tips and new thoughts to try on so you can start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you want to start making serious money as a coach, you need to check out 2K for 2K. Click here to join!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What consult purgatory is and how it feels for me when I’m in this place.
  • Why we experience the anguish of consult purgatory and how it leads to a lot of quitting.
  • The reality of what is going on in consult purgatory and why we can’t escape it.
  • How to start the process of getting out of consult purgatory.
  • The beliefs that might be keeping you in this struggle longer.
  • Why resisting the emotions and believing you’re not going to make it will never give you a solution.
  • How the purgatory is there to sharpen your skills as a coach.
  • The things that you should be including in your consults.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach Podcast where sales expert and life coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey, coaches, welcome to episode 61. How are you this fabulous Wednesday that you’re going to listen to this podcast? Are you having an amazing day? I hope so, and I hope it’s amazing because you decided and because you’re making money. That’s what we’re here to talk about.

So, I just got back from Atlanta and I had spent three day, three hardcore days with my 200K Mastermind and I am just kind of in that thinking about it. I feel like I took in so much and there’s so much to think about and talk about and I want to share with you guys, but here’s what I just want to say is it was the best live event I have ever done.

We had over 20 people who were making six figures or more, many at $200K, $300K, $500K and the rest were like super close to six figures last year like between $60,000 and $90,000. Then we had like a couple of underdogs that were around $30K that we’re going to make rock stars by the end of the Mastermind.

I was just thinking about that. We took some photos. I will share those on Instagram if you’re following me @StaceyBoehman, but it really astonished me not just how much money was in the room. That in itself blew my mind. I coached at the highest level I’ve ever coached, delivered the best teaching I’ve ever delivered, and the best format that was the most useful. We got through an entire Mastermind in three days. So, that was at the highest level possible.

Then I just felt like where they were in their businesses, they were meeting me at the highest level possible. Even our underdogs, they came in making $25K, $30K. They were all in for the transformation. So, the conversation in the room, the coaching, was the highest level room I’ve been a part of as a teacher, and it was the most fun.

So, not only was that happening, and that astonished me, but the different circumstances in the room blew my mind. Let me just tell you for a second what I mean by that. There were coaches from my coach school, The Life Coach School, as we beloved-ly call it LCS, and there were coaches from ICF, and there were coaches who had never been certified.

There were business coaches, coaches for life coaches, marriage coaches, coaches for chiropractors, and healers, and yogis, coaches for heartbreak and better sex, coaching on procrastination, getting shit done, and having anything but an average life.

There were coaches who started their business last year, coaches who had been running their business for years, coaches with children all grown up, coaches who have no children, coaches who were breast pumping in the room, and one coach who decided to be a mom at the event. There were coaches who use Facebook ads to grow their business and market their business.

There were coaches who only use social media. There were coaches who came from all over the U.S., South Korea, South Africa, England, Columbia. Everything about them was so different. Sometimes we think someone’s circumstance is why they have the time, why they have the skill, why they make the money.

But the coaches in that room represented an alternate truth that anyone can make money with any niche, with any home situation anywhere in the world. Do you feel that?

It was profound, and I am sincerely proud that I got to lead that room into creating an even greater impact in the world. It struck me that soon, that room will be filled with millionaires. It really isn’t for a select few. That is the biggest thought that holds everyone actually in the world back from making more money, is that there’s only 1% of the population who can do it, and it’s just not true.

It’s not just for those that just have it. It’s for everyone, especially those who are willing to stop at nothing to get it. So, I just want to profoundly, is that the word, thank my 200K students for upping the game for my vision. I am going to make a lot of coaches millionaires, and I’m ready. Let’s do it.

Okay. So, speaking of willing to stop at nothing, that brings me to this week’s topic. It’s kind of silly, but I think it’s a thing. I’ve decided it’s a thing. We’re going to talk about consult purgatory. It’s a thing. Trust me. Maybe you already know exactly what it is, but when I describe it, you’re for sure going to be like, “I’ve been there,” or, “I’m in there now. I’m going through that.” So, we’re just going to talk about it, but I have to be really careful here.

So, here’s what we’re defining consult purgatory as. It’s when you’re chronically stuck in no consults or you’re getting consults and getting lots of no’s on your consults. It’s just like chronically not making money, chronically not getting results. That’s what it is. That purgatory, it feels like this anguish. I love the word purgatory. I’m going with it.

Many of you think that this happens because you are not meant to be a coach or that you just don’t have it. You think it’s permanent and you’ll never get out of it. In the moment, it really feels, I don’t know, to me, like literal purgatory. This is the way I would describe it. For me, it’s like I’m stuck in the anguish forever in a cold, dark, lonely place. You guys know what I’m talking about. I think you do. I hear lots of you talk about it. So, I’ve been there.

Actually, I will tell you, I am currently there. I’m in the purgatory in the cold, dark, lonely place, and I’m going to coach you guys from there because we can sell with negative emotion, we can coach with negative emotion. That’s part of being human. So, here we go.

So, I’m there. Technically, I got this term purgatory from my Facebook ads person. She says I’m in Facebook ads purgatory. That’s what they call it, I guess, when your account is so flagged, that you can’t get anything approved, and you just have to try and rehab your account or start completely over. Basically, every single thing that we submit gets denied.

The best part from all of her research and all of her talking to the Facebook ad people, there’s no rhyme or reason. There’s no why. Just the bots. The Facebook bots keep denying. What’s crazy is it’s based on just past denial. So, it’s like that crazy catch 22 that you can’t ever get out of. It’s like when people don’t hire you because you don’t have any experience, but then you can’t get experience because you don’t get hired. That’s what’s happening.

It’s like, “We’re denying you because you got denied, but we won’t ever approve you, so you can’t ever get approved because you don’t have any past approvals because we keep denying you, and then we just keep denying you.” This is what’s happening. It’s a bottomless pit of denials.

So, we recently got on another strategy call because we’re now doing our third or fourth strategy where we’re going to rehab the account. I get off the call, and I’m literally feeling panic. My entire body had such a strong reaction, this was just a couple of days ago, to my thought, which was, “I’m never going to get out of this.” In my brain, I believed that so deeply. The fear, I thought it was just eating me alive. That’s how it felt, the way I’m describing it to you.

I tried not to give in, just like totally be consumed by the freak out. I felt the tears just coming. Instead of having a massive reaction, I sat and watched my brain and my body, and I noticed it was panicking and how heavy it felt. I just watched it freak out. I noticed myself thinking, “I should just quit. It’s never going to work. It won’t happen for me. This is taking so long.”

I think most of you who experienced this in the beginning experience it with consults, and you think all of the same things that I was thinking, and you have the same reaction. It feels in your body, like your brain thinks that this horrible feeling, it will never end. In fact, the degree to which you feel the anguish, here’s what I’ve realized, for me is determined by the degree to which you believe it’s permanent.

I’m going to say that again. The degree to which you feel the anguish is determined by the degree to which you believe it’s permanent. Like, it’s here to stay, and so I need to freak out, and run away, and protect myself because this is really horrible and awful. Right?

So, here’s what I’ve been working through. Number one, I’ve been thinking a lot about why this happens, why we experience the anguish. If you don’t, congratulations. You’re a step ahead of the curve. We’re all very happy for you. This podcast is not for you. It’s for those of us that have a little crazy when we don’t get our way.

We experience the anguish not because of all the no’s. I’m not experiencing it because of the denials, but because of our fear of its permanence and because we believe it shouldn’t be happening. That’s the biggest thing. At least I discovered for myself. That it shouldn’t last this long, this period of failing, and that something has gone wrong.

This is where a lot of people give up. It feels too hard. Too bad, the result you want feels too far away. It’s a lot of holding the space for the belief of what you want to create in the face of failure, after failure, after failure. This is where you’ve gotten so many no’s in a row, or you’ve marketed your business for so long so many times and not had anyone take you up on your offer. It’s like the only thing you will have left to rely on at that moment is your belief.

In the beginning, you haven’t learned yet how to rely on your belief. I feel like I’m struggling. I know that’s a thought and it’s a story, but in this moment when I’m in it, it feels like a struggle. I know that if I struggle with this at master coach level, I know how you guys feel. I remember that feeling for me actually in the beginning with consults.

I remember crying on the phone to my coach and being like, “I’m going to quit.” Then her being like, “Well then quit. No one is stopping you.” That’s a really good trick, by the way. But I remember that. It really does feel like fight or flight. Sometimes you have really strong reactions, especially if you are a person who feels very deeply.

My best friend and I were just talking about this recently. She kind of is even-keeled, so she doesn’t have a lot of drama about anything ever. She works through it and just doesn’t really have that reaction, and sometimes that works against her. Whereas I have really high highs, which is a lot of times what you guys see where I’m really energetic, really enthusiastic, very passionate, in your face, but that also gets followed by really low lows sometimes.

I just know if I’m struggling with it, many of you are too, especially in the beginning because you haven’t learned how to rely on your belief. Whereas no matter how hard it is for me, I still have years of experience having made money to think back to like, “Of course I will figure this out, and of course I will get out of this,” but in the beginning, I don’t think you have that belief yet. So, you really have to rely on not just the belief, but the idea of believing creating your results. Right? You haven’t even proved that maybe to yourself yet. Some of you have, and some of you haven’t.

So, you’re just having to really say to yourself like, “I believe my thoughts create my results. I’m going to trust this process, but it hasn’t happened yet. I haven’t created any belief yet, and I’m experiencing tons of failure over, and over, and over, and over.” That’s what you’re facing. That’s why I call it purgatory, and I really want to help you get to the other side.

So, in order to do that, I need to help you manage the purgatory. You’re not going to escape it. You’re not going to get out of it. You’re not going to perfect your way to never experiencing it. If you’re doing it right, you’ll be in it. Promise. We also call it the River of Missouri, but in this circumstance, I really feel like purgatory is a better way to describe it.

So, here we are. The first thing that you do if you’re in this is manage expectations. The purgatory is created by thinking something has gone wrong, and only, and this is so important, because of underestimating the time and effort it will take to get a result.

If you’ve done 40 consults in a row and not signed a single client, you have to manage your expectations. Here’s how you do it. You first see what you expected. Did you expect to sign a client in ten consults, five, on the first one? You have to see where you put the finish line. That’s where everything went wrong, is you put the finish line where it was not supposed to be. It was never there.

Then you have to decide what you’re willing to do. How much longer are you willing to run the race? If you run a race, and it’s like, let’s just say half a mile, and then you find out actually you just thought that that was the race, but the race is five miles, are you willing to keep running? That’s really what it is.

How many consults are you willing to do to figure out how to sign clients? How many more times are you willing to fail? Like with our ads, I thought we would get this working. We’re working on this brand-new funnel, and I thought we would get it created in like a month. Turns out it could take three months, it could take six months.

It could take an entire year to rehab the account, and to tweak and work the funnel, and produce the kind of results that I want it to produce. I don’t know, but I thought that it was going to happen in a matter of a few weeks or a few months. The reality is we never know. It will take as long as it takes.

I had a client who I was coaching in 2K who wasn’t making money, and I told her she had to go get a job. Not because I want her business to fail, but because I want to help her manage the purgatory. I want to adjust her expectations. She thinks she should be making money faster, and she needs money now, and she thinks something has gone wrong, and she feels desperate and she is suffering.

When I think of my ads not working, and they should be working, and I should be making more money off of them, and I’m not, I suffer. So, I could forcefully try and make them work anyways with even more desperation, which is what my client was trying to do with her business. She’s trying to forcefully make it work so she doesn’t have to get a job. Or we can all manage our expectations or get rid of them completely.

So, I thought about it, and as uncomfortable as it is, I’m willing to jump through the Facebook hoops for as long as it takes, even if it takes all year. By the way, what I mean by that is all year of massive action, all year of massive failing to get it working.

Not a year of trying, and getting exhausted, and taking a break, and then going back to it because that’s what a lot of you do in your business. You try and get consults. You post on social media. You write your emails. You make a lot of offers. You don’t get anywhere. You get really frustrated and exhausted from your negative thinking, and you think you need to take a break to recharge.

Then sometimes you come back to it and it starts working. You get some consult, and you prove the worst thing ever to yourself. That the break was what created the result. All that really happened is you changed your thoughts and got a new result. You can do that while taking massive action on your massive fail plan, while in the purgatory of working for a result you haven’t accomplished yet. If you can learn to do that, if you could take action in purgatory with all that negative emotion, you are going to get there so much faster.

So, that’s the second thing you have to do. You first have to manage or release your expectations. Then you have to take the next small action you can take. You have to keep going even if you’re feeling bad. Here’s what that will require, is allowing your negative emotion.

Here’s a simple way to know when you’re not. When it feels so heavy, you cannot take any action. It’s like all your life force goes just to experiencing the emotion. What’s actually happening is you aren’t even experiencing the emotion. You’re resisting it, and resisting the purgatory makes it worse.

You can resist emotion so hard that you start to feel like, for me, it was like you’re an animal in a cage. Your fight or flight gets so bad, you want to just run screaming in the opposite direction. Instead, you want to breathe into it. You want to get into your body. You want to tell yourself that you can handle experiencing this emotion no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

It’s like, “Today, this week, this month, this is just my 50/50. This is the part where I feel massively uncomfortable while I massively fail. We like to get all jazzed up for a massive fail plan without realizing what it really means. Your fail plan might look like 40 consults in a row. It might be 1,000 offers before you get a yes. You feel entitled to not having to go through that to make money on every level.

I notice myself thinking that I shouldn’t have to go through this. That there are other business coaches that aren’t going through this. This person over here is talking about making millions and her clients making millions. She gets approved. But it isn’t helpful. It makes you stay in the purgatory longer, and sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason for it. Like the situation where bots are deciding for you, and you just have to figure out how to make the bots work.

The good news is consults is not one of those things. If you’re listening right now, and selling and getting clients is your predominant issue, there is no gray area with that. There is always a very specific thing that you did that created the result, and always something you can work on to get better.

I recommend thinking that way really with anything. Even with our Facebook ads, I can see, and I sat down during this kind of watching my mind. It was like, what is in our power to work on? That’s what I’m going to focus on because it just doesn’t serve me to believe that we’re in a gray area that we’ll never be able to get out of or that is going to be very complicated.

I’m like, no, this is the plant. This is what we’re going to do. This is our plan B, and this is our plan C, and this is our plan D. Now, we’re just going to keep going, and we’re going to figure it out no matter what because that’s what’s in my power like not quitting is in my power. Being willing to do everything they tell us to do, that’s within my power, right. To not give up, to consistently work on it, all of it’s in my power.

So, if you’re in consult purgatory, your next action, the next step you need to take, which most people don’t even see as an action. They’re not even aware that it’s a step because a lot of you try to go from failure straight to make another offer, and this is where you make the mistake.

The next step between I failed and either I made an offer and no one took me up on it, I did a consult, they said no. The next step is you have to figure out what the problem is so that you can find the solution before you take action again. It will be very hard to do that when you are resisting the emotion and believing it’s just because you don’t have what it takes and you’re never going to make it.

When you believe failure is who you are, a solution will never present itself. So, here are a few ways I teach my clients to figure out what the problem is in order to find the solution when it comes to marketing and consults. You want to find out how your thinking determined how you showed up and how you created your result. This is super useful always in every circumstance, in every situation.

So, if you’re in the 2K group, you would go to the model course, and you would put your recent consult, your predominant thought that created the result you got, you’d put that in the model, and you will see exactly how your thought created every single thing you did on the console, and then created the result for you.

One of the greatest things that will make you a consult machine is when you train your brain that money is never at the effect of someone else’s actions, someone else saying yes. That’s what a lot of you think, someone else’s thoughts determine your result, and that isn’t true.

Your ability to sell determines whether your consults are sold by the end of the call. Not their cashflow, their husbands, their time, their kids. Your ability to sell, which comes from your thoughts about yourself selling and how you feel selling, determines how you show up to selling, and that is what determines whether a client is sold or not, not their circumstances. I have thousands of examples that that is true.

I’m going to give you an example. This is a model I actually did with one of my clients recently. So, when it came to consult, she’s getting a pretty steady stream of consult, but many of them are saying no. They’re not buying coaching. Her thought is, “I’m not getting better on them,” and it makes her feel incompetent when she thinks that.

So, I asked her when she’s thinking that she’s not getting better on consults and she’s feeling incompetent at selling how she shows up on consults or even before consults. Here’s what she found when I asked her that. What she does is look for ways that people who are reaching out to her aren’t a good fit, and she judges their profiles, and she decides that they’re probably not open to coaching on feelings before they ever get on the phone, and then the entire time they’re on the phone.

We laughed about this. This was in 200K. We had a really good laugh about it because she kind of just tells them to fuck off in her brain. She’s like, “You’re not going to buy. You’re too big of a mess. You’ll never want to do this work. Just fuck off.” We decided that she puts them in the fuck off category.

She also never asks them to decide on the consult. Never. She never asks them if they want to buy coaching from her. Instead of selling coaching in that moment, at the end of her call, she sells a follow-up and sends a proposal rather than selling coaching. Her result becomes she doesn’t get better. It’s like the model at work. It’s very beautiful, but this is what you all do.

You have so much influence over your consult that you don’t even realize, and all of those things are figureoutable. They’re all workable. You can fix all of them. You can change your thinking. You can change the way you show up on consults. So, again, if you’re in 2K, you can take every single consult and get coaching on your model that created your result in Ask A Coach every day if you want. You could also bring your consult issue to the group coaching call every week.

I just coached someone the other day. She thought the client didn’t buy because they didn’t have money. I asked her a few questions, and it turns out that she just decided that was the reason and projected that onto the client without even realizing it.

It turns out the client didn’t buy, not because she had a money objection, but because she had an objection that her anxiety is caused by chemicals in her brain and she didn’t realize that some of it is caused maybe by chemicals on her brain, but some of it’s caused by her thinking, and that she could actually work to manage that. That’s what my client was offering and selling, and she didn’t catch that that was the main objection the client was having because of her thought, “This client just doesn’t have any money.”

Having someone else see your work and coach you on your thoughts, seeing others get coached on results, will start to unwind all the little things that could go wrong, and doing that consistently will make you a consult ninja. All of the growth-induced purgatory comes from wanting a result that requires you to think differently than you currently do.

So, coaching is the most powerful thing you can do to help create that thinking, to unwind the thinking that you have that is keeping you from the result and create new thinking that will create a different result. But seeing the thoughts that are influencing your marketing and your selling, you’ve got to see that, you’ve got to start there.

When you’re ready, when you’ve managed your expectations, when you’ve allowed the emotions that are coming up in the purgatory, when you’re ready for that next step, it’s the very next step. Not take another action but see how you created the last fail so that you can approach the next action with a different thought or a different strategy.

The next thing you want to do is do an evaluation that is only focused on you. What worked, what didn’t work, and what you’re going to do differently. If you don’t do an evaluation and leave knowing exactly how to improve your consult specifically in a way that feels like you’re really moving forward with your skill of selling, you’re doing it wrong.

In 2K, I teach you an entire course on evaluating to get the right information from your consults. If you listened to the podcast last week, my client, Samantha, talked about the failed consults being worth what she would have charged the client by what she learned from them. That is what she’s talking about. You should be getting $5K worth of experience and knowledge for what you need to improve from every consult.

If you’re not evaluating your consults like this, you might as well not do them because you don’t learn from them. When you don’t learn from them, you’re doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, and that is the definition of insanity, and it will keep you in purgatory forever. After a year of evaluating her consults in 2K, Samantha made $100,000, and then she went on to make $200,000, and this year, she’s going to make $500,000.

So, the predatory really is there to sharpen your skills. I want you to borrow that thought. Remember I also said recently on a podcast when I was talking about selling with negative emotion, and I said all of the stuff I was going through, I was not going to let that be for nothing. I was going to make it useful.

If you’re in purgatory, make it useful. It’s why I’m so good at coaching on marketing and consults. The purgatory. I learned a lot, and it is why I will be so good at teaching my clients to scale one day to multiple millions of dollars with Facebook ads because I’m going to figure that shit out.

Okay. So, your evaluation should include things like where did you get stuck coaching? What objection do you need to find an answer for that you need to figure out how to coach through? Where did you lose your cool and get in your head instead of thinking about serving your client? What thought specifically took you out of the moment of serving your client, and how will you account for that next time? How will you work on that thought? You got to coach yourself.

Most of my purgatory was spent figuring out how to unwind the minds of my clients and their thinking that wasn’t serving them, but I was struggling to explain it. So, I knew that it wasn’t serving them, but I struggled to explain it. Even now, I spend most of my time figuring out how to explain things more clearly and how to communicate the solution more effectively. The better and better I get at that, the more and more money I make, the more I sell.

So, you want to find specific things to work on, and then go work on them, Not complain, and whine, and implode. If you’re in 2K you can also pull up the consultation code, and you can find out exactly how to resolve any consult issues you’re having. You can study the consult process and see what steps you missed or you were shaky on. Remember, finding the problem helps you find the solution and keeps you productive even when you’re feeling bad. When you aren’t making money, you need to be investing your time to figuring that out, how to get better.

Now, after you do an evaluation, you do the next small thing to move you forward. Now, this might be your next post, your next email, going to another networking event, meeting more people, telling people who you are, making more offers to help, but it’s really about moving forward with what you just learned from your last fail, and specifically moving towards the plan, your massive fail plan.

So, if you’re just starting to listen to the podcast, if this is your first episode you’re listening to, because some of you have been leaving some reviews that you’ve just listened to the first episode, which was the last one that came up, you just might want to go backwards and listen to massive fail plans.

But if you’ve been listening avidly for a while, by now, hopefully, you’ve made yours and you’re implementing it, and that you know the difference between implementing and creating a result. There’s a big space between that. You will do lots of implementing. You might market your business for six months and have no one bite. You might not, but many of you, if you do, you make it mean something terrible has gone wrong, and you can’t handle the emotion of the drought of non-result, the purgatory. So, you abandon ship on the plan, on your fail plan. You stop doing all the things.

My mind has wanted me to jump ship so many times and focus back to what I know, but I’m staying strong in the face of adversity, and you can too because reverting back to what works for you will look a little differently for you than me. I could keep making money doing what’s working for me, and my business will say at $2.5 million. For me, that’s just going back to last year’s business plan.

But for you, it might be focusing on your job because suddenly it got all crazy at work or focusing on your family because you have all these vacations and you have a lot going on. You will go focus on whoever you were before you became an entrepreneur and however you filled your time, your brain will try and escape back to that place to escape the feeling of purgatory, which will mean you’ll never an entrepreneur, but only if you do that. Only if you quit.

Otherwise, you will totally become an entrepreneur who makes money. If you don’t quit, 100% you’ll make money. If you change your niche or your pricing and you get no’s on your consults or you stop getting as many reach outs, your brain is going to want to tell you to just go back to your old offer.

This is such a critical moment where you must charge forward. You must stay on plan. You have to go into the woods, and then not turn around no matter how frightened you get. All right. So, you can take the next action moving forward.

Finally, and this I cannot take credit for. I was just talking to my CFO about my purgatory, and he told me something that I want to share with you. I wrote a bunch of stuff down. The only reason that we want to run in the opposite direction, the only reason to quit and self-implode is because you think you’re about to lose something. You think you have something to lose.

When you believe you have nothing to lose, there is nothing you won’t try. So, think about it. What do you have to lose to spend a year trying to get consults? What do you have to lose, really? What do you really have to lose to send another email, to go to another networking event, to try another Facebook group after you get kicked out of one?

Sometimes that happens to you all. You serve in Facebook groups, and really what you’re doing unintentionally is selling, and then the owner of the group sniffs it out and kicks you out. Happens to a lot of you, and then you’re like, “That’s it. It doesn’t work. I have to quit.”

But really, we have only everything to gain by figuring out the Facebook ads and rehabbing the account by figuring out how to be in a group and offer value without getting kicked out. To figure out how to master your consults, to figure out how to get more people reaching out to you. We have nothing to lose.

This is also what he told me. The worst that happens is you go back to business as usual. You go back to the life you have. This was profound for me because I loved my life, and I love my business, and I’m really good at it, and I know how to sell all day long, and do trainings, and send emails, and do bonuses. All the things that I’ve done, I know how to do that, and I could totally go back to that.

But for many of my clients, they don’t like their life that they’re living right now. So, question that for yourself. Is the worst-case scenario, the thing that you would go back to if you lost it all, and this didn’t work, and you didn’t ever make money, and you never figured out consults. How do you feel about that life?

Because a lot of my clients, they feel like what they have to lose is hope of some better life that will make them feel better than they do now. It’s seriously the shock of a lifetime when you make money and find out that life is still 50% shitty. It’s a real thing. You realize it right around 100K, but actually, your brain didn’t change when you got more money. Your brain, you still brought it with you. Now, you just have more opportunity to stress about more things.

So, you might as well love your life now. If you can’t figure out how to do it now, seriously, you won’t be able to do it later when the excitement of the money rubs off. I talk about this in the 2K Clean Selling modules. The best thing that you can ever do to get out of a consult rut is to get into sufficiency. If you think about it, loving your life makes you an amazing life coach.

Life coach, people think that means teaching loving life. It kind of does. People don’t want to buy life coaching from coaches who hate their life. That is the truth. So, you can feel negative emotion for sure because we all do 50% of the time, but what is your concept about your life? You have to start looking at that differently.

Even when I only had two spoons, I found ways to really love the way that I was choosing to spend my time, the way I was choosing to make my decisions, the moments that I had with my dog, the freedom I had at my job, I loved my family. I even decided to love myself even when my bank account was negative. Permission granted, you can do that too. Even though I had no money, no man, and no spoons.

This is possible for you too, and it will get you out of any consult rut that you get yourself into. It will get you out of even if it’s like all the no’s in the world or no one’s reaching out, and it’s like crickets on all your posts, it will get you to making your first dollars as a coach.

All right. So, you have to know that you’re in consult purgatory. Know when you’re in that space of kind of panic that it’s all falling apart, it’s never going to work. Then you have to manage your expectations, manage your emotions, take the next action. Managing your emotions, by the way, allowing the emotions. That’s what I mean by that.

Take the next step. The next step is always adjust your thinking. See what thinking created the results that you got. Then what thinking would create a different result? Show up differently to the consult, to the marketing. Do an evaluation. See what worked, what didn’t work, what you’re going to do differently, and be really specific about it.

Stick to the massive fail plan, no matter how much your brain tells you, you should turn around and run back the other way to safety and comfort. Then remember that you have nothing to lose and coach yourself if you think that you do. When I say coach yourself, I mean just question that.

Love your life now so that it really feels like the worst that could happen is you just live your life now, and you love it. That’s it. That will get you out of the consult purgatory, and you have to be willing to do this process as long as it takes until you get out. You can’t give up.

When I’m in this space, I’m getting coaching from my friends, I’m getting coaching from everyone I can get coaching from like my coaches. Not just my friends. I’m getting coaching from my coaches, from my colleagues, from my friends. I’m just constantly working through it. I refuse to give up.

Coaching myself like crazy every single day. I’m just going to keep moving through it, and eventually, you do. You just move through it, and then you gain a skillset. Then you create a result, and you become a different person. All right. I’ll talk to you next week. Go out, go forth into the world, and make some money.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2,000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.

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