Ep #50: Becoming an Expert at Your Offer with Claire Byrne

 In Podcast

This week, I’ve got an interview for you with one of my clients, Claire Byrne, who crossed the six-figure mark in her business this year. Claire is such a great example of a concept I teach called The Hero’s Journey, where I encourage my clients to share the stories that link them to why they coach what they coach and help the right people.

Claire’s own personal story anchors her so deeply to her mission to help women heal from heartbreak, she is accurately known as The Heartbreak Coach. We touch on so many different topics that have brought Claire the success she deserves, and I want you to focus on the way she talks about the way she serves her clients because I believe this has been so crucial to her growth.

Join us today and get inspired by Claire! She exudes the confidence and passion you need to show up for your clients in a way that will bring you the success you want, and I’m so grateful to her for coming on and sharing how she has moved past her mental dramas that I know you guys will have experienced too.

Make sure you’re following me on Instagram to check out my 200K mastermind success stories! These women are so incredible, I love every single one of them, and their stories are going to fire you up and help you see that there is so much possibility available for you!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why Claire believes coaching is the best financial investment if you are constantly finding yourself in dysfunctional relationships.
  • How Claire practices being a product of her product.
  • Why you have to focus on the clients who are the perfect fit for you.
  • How to stay passionate about your niche and in service to your clients.
  • Why Claire is willing to share her story and be judged by others.
  • The question you need to ask yourself if you’re not making the kind of money you want to be making.
  • One piece of advice Claire has for anyone who wants to get to where she is.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Welcome to Episode 50. Today I’m interviewing my client, Claire, who crossed the six-figure mark earlier this year. And, what can I say? Get ready for this interview. Claire might actually talk faster than I do. So, make sure you listen to us at normal speed, folks.

But the thing that I love about this interview that I really want you to listen for, and I tell you this during the podcast, and I’m going to tell you ahead of time, so you can start listening to it right away. But listen to the way that Claire talks about her business. Listen for her own personal story that anchors her to the mission she has, to heal women from heartbreak. Listen to her be so immersed in her work in the world, and her determination to share it with everyone.

In 2K for 2K I teach a concept called The Hero’s Journey, and I encourage my clients to share their applicable stories that got them where they are today, the things that anchor them to why they do what they do, in order to serve others, and I think she just really exudes this. Like, it hits me and I just have to bring it up on the podcast. And I teach it a lot, in theory, and I think she just exemplifies it in such a beautiful way.

We talk about niching down. We talk about attracting celebrity brands to you. We talk about being a living example of your brand and creating unique positioning. We cover a lot of ground, but the most important takeaway is, seriously, if you are not making the kind of money you want to be making, ask yourself if you are in tune with your business and your work in the world the way Claire is

This is how to get where she is at. And it’s something that you get to experience on the podcast, not just be told what to do today, which is so fun. So let’s dive into becoming an expert at your offer, with the heartbreak coach, Claire Byrne.

Stacey: Okay, Claire, thank you for being on.

Claire: Thank you for having me.

Stacey: I was like, are you going to say something?

Claire:  Well, I didn’t have the mic plugged in.

Stacey: So, for everybody listening, I just – we just had this whole thing, for the last 10 minutes, about me critiquing Claire’s mic, and the way it looks, and her secretly thinking, “Fuck off” in her head.

Claire: That’s why I pay Stacey the big bucks.

Stacey: All right, so now that we have the mic working and we have the sound going, let’s dive in. So, one of the things that I was thinking about when I wanted to do this interview for you, is I think you are the best example of not having a huge, limiting belief that a lot of coaches have. And they don’t even notice they have it, a lot of them think it’s truth.

But, they think in order to make 100K, or 200K, that they have to be coaching life coaches, or they have to be coaching business, or something in the knowledge or skillset industry, right? Something that would give someone a direct financial return, and if they don’t do that, there’s no way they could grow a huge mega-business.

Which I think is ridiculous and very funny, because I’m in a million-dollar mentoring with six or seven other millionaires that are coaches, and I’m the only one that has a business niche, or even close to business skillset, business knowledge, anything like that.

And you probably remember this call recently in 200K Mastermind, where I was coaching a couple of the students who had the belief that they could not find clients without getting them from my network or the coaching school they’re in, or seminars that they go to. Everyone I surround myself with is a life coach, and if that’s not the niche I have, and where I get my coaching clients, I won’t get anything.

And I remember telling the group, like I was in the shower, and I was like, wait a minute. How does Claire make her money? Because you’re a heartbreak coach, and you have been since the beginning, right? So it’s not like you made 100K coaching business and life coaches, which is the only way you can make money, and then you decided to coach what you really wanted to coach on, which is heartbreak. You made that work from the beginning.

So, I would love for you to just talk about that, like talk about your experience of making multiple six-figures as a heartbreak coach.

Claire: It’s so fun to hear you say that.

Stacey: Isn’t it? We’ve done a lot of talks, I feel like we’ve done multiple testimonials with you. You’re like such a great interviewer, and but this is the first time we’ve really gotten to speak about your business success and kind of hear your thoughts about it, so yeah, I’m so excited to talk about it and hear myself say it

Claire: So, first, thank you so much for having me. I always love chatting with you on your podcast. And I would say that, so I started as a coach four years ago, and I kept it super general and safe. It was like, I coach women in their 20s and their 30s. Like, it was so vague.

And it wasn’t until two years later that I actually got my heart broken again, but I was already a coach. So I was like, oh, wait a second. I had my rock bottom that inspired me to become a coach, but I was too, I was like, oh, I’m never going to air that dirty laundry. That was my thought, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: So, and also my fear of him, because it was an emotionally abusive relationship, so I actually had, like, fear that like he would come and get me, and all those things, like all the drama to keep me small and keep me safe.

And then, I got my heart broken again by someone who was not a narcissistic sociopath, but I had already had the tools and I just immediately was like, I’m not going to be quiet about this. I have the tools and I’m going to shout this from the mountaintops.

And it was super vulnerable to share, and basically, I put up a post that was like “Guys, I got dumped, and here’s how I’m moving through it.”

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And I got such a huge response, and I was like, I’m the heartbreak coach. Like, that has been my journey in personal growth, has always been, like, moving through heartbreak and learning my lesson in all of that.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: It wasn’t until, really my work with you, which was really 15 months ago, where you really showed me that, because I had that mind drama around, well, no one’s going to get a financial return. And so I – you said to me, and I know your story as well, right? You discovered life coaching, you wanted a life coach because you were moving through heartbreak, and you would have paid anything…

Stacey: Yes.

Claire: For the right person to tell you exactly what your problem is and exactly how she’s going to help you move through it. Because really and truly, what I realized, Stacey, is that if you are heartbroken, you cannot focus on your job, you cannot function properly, you cannot be present with your friends, you’re certainly not going to be present in your dating life. You’re not eating right, you’re not taking good care of your body. There’s like, no motivation to do that. So, like I’m actually the best financial investment, if you are constantly finding yourself in dysfunctional relationships, I’m going to try to hold my F-bombs back.

Stacey: No, you don’t have to. It’s fine.

Claire: What am I thinking, right? Finding yourself in these fucked-up relationships, I had these patterns and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Like, to me, it was like dire straits to figure out how to heal my heart, because it was affecting every area of my life. So I was like, “Hell yeah, I’m worth charging this money.” And I only want to work with women who are so serious about putting their money where their mouth is, because it is a financial return in the end.

Stacey: So this is so interesting, because what I’m hearing you say is, really, like the underlying thing is, what has made you be able to make money in this niche is that you recognize the value of it in your life and in other people’s lives.

Like, you saw it’s not just about getting over the heartbreak, and I 100% agree. I also went through a huge heartbreak. I was already a coach, so I also had that layer of shame of, it shouldn’t be happening to me. Like I should know all of this, right?

But, I did have that experience of, it feels kind of like you’re just walking through life in a fog, and phoning everything in. And like, everybody’s having conversations around you, and all you can think about is your despair, and you never believe it’s going to be better.

And I think that that is true for every niche in the world. Every single thing you offer, whether it’s weight loss coaching, whether it’s job coaching, like if you coach people to find a better job or create a better, you know, create more money for themselves within their industry, or whatever it is.

It’s like, we always imagine what we’re going through is going to be forever. It’s never going to get better, and if we could have someone that could help us believe again that it could be better, and then guide us step by step to this place that we want to go, and out of the pain that we’re in, I think every human would say yes to that, no matter what.

Like, everybody’s got a different pain point. It’s not always business or money or heartbreak. Sometimes it’s their relationship with their parent or their sibling. Like, I remember the most powerful coaching I got this year was on my relationship with my sister. It had nothing to do with money. Right? And that was, to me, I would have paid anything for that coaching.

So, I think really what you just said to everyone is, getting what you came for, but then the ripple effect it has on every other area of your life, when you step into either getting over the thing that’s in your way, or creating the thing that you want.

Either way, when you’re getting out of the pain or getting into the pleasure, you create ripples that have more to do with, that impact every part of your life.

Claire: 100%, and that’s why I asked for a six-month commitment. So, sometimes I have people coming to me being like, “Oh, I don’t need six months.” And I’m like, I have no interest in just whatever time that you think it’s going to take to heal your heart. I’m really interested in working with women who once they have healed their hearts, and everyone goes at different paces –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And has different lengths of time and all of that. But I want to know what you’re interested in creating once your heart has healed, because your brain has been taking up so much real estate on who he’s with, what he’s doing, what she’s doing, you know, whoever, right?

And then it’s like, well, wow. Now that I’m not waking up in angst, wondering what my ex is up to, or whether or not I’m going to hear from them or stalking their Instagram page or hanging out conveniently with mutual friends –

Stacey: Right.

Claire: To see some information or whatever it is, like, what do I do? Or that Mary Oliver quote, right? “What do I do with this one fabulous life?” I’m sure I’m botching the quote, but it’s like, what are we going to create?

So, I actually end up coaching a lot of women on their money story, on their job life, on starting to date again. Because it’s like, let’s take, now you know that you have the power to heal your heart with your mind –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Then what are we’re going to create after that?

Stacey: Do you sell with that on your consults? Like, is that the way that you sell? Because I think it’s so brilliant. A lot of coaches struggle with creating vision on their consults. It’s one of the steps in 2K, is selling people not just on getting that immediate result, but on everything else that will be influenced by that.

Claire: You know, and like also, especially when we’re showing up to date again, and something that I’m kind of expanding on now is the Belief Man Plan, because I decided this year if I can create 20 clients with my brain, I can create one man, which I recently have.

Stacey: That’s so amazing.

Claire: And it’s like, all of the triggers come up, and I was just talking about this earlier when I was guest hosting for 2K for 2K. I asked them, starting off the live, like are you coaching yourself? Are you continuing to be the product of your product?

Because I’m a heartbreak coach. I’m not heartbroken. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to get heartbroken again. So, am I working the tools? But when I’m not heartbroken, I don’t have to use those tools.

Stacey: Right.

Claire: So now I’m opening my heart up again, because we’re vulnerable and I’ve had traumatic experiences in relationship, and as a coach, obviously, I’m all about your thoughts create your results. And I do feel like I’ve come so far, but we’re all still human. And so, I kind of have vulnerable thoughts and fears opening my heart up again, because I’ve been really safe.

And another big thought that I’ve been working on is, it really is possible to be wealthy in love and in my business at the same time. Because I’ve been compartmentalizing growing my business and being the heartbreak expert, so it’s like how am I constantly being the product of my product, as I open my heart up again, and manage my 20 clients, grow my business, keep podcasting, keep writing articles, all the things.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And keep it at that place, like, how am I continuing to be the bigger picture and want what my clients want? Right?

Stacey: Yeah. So tell me, because I think that is something else that a lot of coaches struggle with. It’s something I coach a lot on in 2K, which is, you have this major problem in your life, this huge pain point. And then, that you get so excited about solving that problem,

I think a lot of weight coaches experience this, especially. Like, this is where I see it the most common, is like, you have all this energy going into solving the pain point, you solve it for yourself, and you’re solving it as you’re coaching your clients, right?

And then, it’s solved, and it’s no longer a problem in your life. And all of a sudden, now, you think your niche is boring. Well, I’ve already solved that problem. I don’t have that problem anymore. So it’s not –

Claire: [Crosstalk 00:13:33]

Stacey: Yeah. Yeah, so talk to the coaches who are listening to this, who have a niche. They’ve got clients in that niche, it’s working, but it’s no longer their biggest pain point. And now they’re like, “I should change niches.”

Claire: Yeah, I mean –

Stacey: There’s something else that’s my pain point that now I’m passionate about which I – and I also see this in reverse with coaches who are like, I have this amazing, fabulous fucking niche that I’m like, no one else has this. It’s a gold mine. It’s a million-dollar business. But they’re like, “Oh, but what I’m most excited about is business. I’m most excited about making money.”

And I’m like, no, that’s just the thing that’s your pain point right now that you’re most excited about and you’re solving for in your own life. But that doesn’t mean abandon your niche in order to jump on this next thing that’s exciting to you. So talk to people that are going through that.

Claire: I think it kind of – and this reminds me of when we were in Cabo last year, and it was the first time I did a retreat with you, and I was a little butt hurt over a total man-child. Like, when I look back I’m like, you just totally wasted an amazing time in Cabo.

But I had just come off the heels and I was like – and you were talking to me about my million-dollar heartbreak business and I’m like, “Another heartbreak! I don’t want to do it.”

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Wait, I’m just like, I’m just over it.

Stacey: And you were also like, “I don’t want to” – there was one point, I don’t know if this was the same point, but you were like, “I just don’t want to coach all these, like, people who are so heartbroken.” And like, you were getting really run down by your clients’ drama.

Which is something I think a lot of people experience, whether you’re a business coach getting run down by your people not making money, it’s your mind getting run down about your thoughts, right about your niche, about your clients, about their emotions, right?

So you’ve gone through a little bit of all of that, and maintained your niche throughout. So, what’s the thought that got you there?

Claire: The thought was, Stacey won’t let me change it.

Stacey: That works. It’s fine.

Claire: No, but like, I think what it comes down to is really remembering why you wanted to become a coach in the first place. And I know that I am the expert on healing people’s hearts. I believe that in my core, and I think it’s very natural and human to get a little bit bored, and then a little bit distant and removed if you’ve already done the work, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: My brain is always like, well, I don’t know if it’ll ever happen again, so I might as well just stay vigilant. We can’t plan for whether or not our hearts are ever going to get broken again, even if it’s not even in a romantic way, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: The same with weight-loss coaches. People gain weight back, you know, it could happen again. So, I think really what it comes down to is always remembering, like your heroine story. Like, when I think back of like where I was nine years ago –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: It’s a joke. Devastated, skin and bone, welts on my face, like lump on a log, could barely put one foot in front of the other, and the life that I have created now, and being in service to so many women, I hear from women every single day, just saying, “Thank you so much for sharing your story.”

At one point, sharing my story was the most terrifying thing, because I thought I was going to get destroyed by that. Like, I was terrified to share that. I was terrified of what people would think. And, you know, all the silly things like finding underwear multiple times that weren’t mine and, like, how do you say that out loud without people being like, “Duh, you should have run then.” Right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: [crosstalk 00:16:41]

Stacey: What did you get over to share your story, without being paralyzed by that? Because I also think that’s another thing that people struggle with is, I was coaching a coach who stopped over-drinking, and they didn’t want, it’s such a hot niche right now. There are so many coaches doing it, but there are so many people who need it.

They didn’t want to share their story, because of their shame around the fact that they over-drank in the first place, and what other people would think about them. So, I think there is a lot of shame when we come to tell our stories about our, like –

You know, people are like, why do you want to get into coaching? And my answer used to be, well, because I got robbed at gunpoint on the beach in Puerto Rico while cheating on my boyfriend and realized, how the fuck did I end up here? Like, this is not a scenario that I imagined myself getting into this week. Like, I must be really unaware of my life.

And for a long time, that was a really hard story for me to share. So I’m curious how you got over that, and how you stepped into sharing it powerfully? Which I do think you do now.

Claire: I think that there’s two things at play here. Do I want to care more about what people think, or do I want to serve from my story? And I really wanted to serve from my story.

Stacey: And, okay, so hold on. So let’s just like stop so everybody can hear that. Do I want to care more about what other people think, or use my story to serve, and serve other people? Like, that is such a question to ask yourself.

Like, I even think at all growth, do I want to be attached to the discomfort that I don’t want to go through? Or, do I want to show up and serve other people? Like, that really is the choice that we’re facing.

Claire: Because I have people in my life, Stacey, who I helped through their heartbreaks who’ve unfollowed me on Instagram, no longer talk to me. I’m sure I’m, quote-unquote, too much for a lot of fucking people out there.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Is it good to be judged and, quote-unquote, rejected by them? Which is again, a thought. And, like, does it matter more to, like, really serve and know that like, where I’m coming from is from, like, true service in my soul? But other people are going to look at it as, oh, you know, she’s just trying to, like, make money off of a story, or whatever they want to think.

I don’t even care, I don’t even go to that place. I just don’t care. I just know that narcissistic abuse is an epidemic that is not talked about enough. We’ve had the me-too movement. We obviously know domestic violence is, like illegal, right? You can’t – but narcissistic abuse, no one can go to jail for it. No one goes to jail for gaslighting.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And it is as insidious, manipulative and I don’t just coach only on that, but that was my rock bottom.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: But I know that that happens so much, and I think I just wanted to shine a light on it, because I –

Stacey: More than you wanted to be comfortable or you wanted everybody to follow you.

Claire: Yeah.

Stacey: Or more than you chose to think about what other people might be thinking about you.

Claire: I knew people would judge.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: To me, judgment is par for the course when we’re putting ourselves out there in this way.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Right?

Stacey: Yeah, everyone’s going to have a thought about it, for sure. It feels funny, like, I was in the car with one of the groups of the people, when we were in California, and I got a message on Instagram I shared.

Someone in our Mastermind group posted something in the Mastermind group that made me die laughing, and I shared it to my Instagram, and someone messaged me and was like, “The privilege in this post is really disturbing. Like, you really need to check your privilege, Stacey.”

And I remember thinking, like, that’s one of, I think one of the ones that triggers me the most of my fear of people thinking that about me. Or like my, not my fear that people would think that about me, my discomfort if someone thought that about me.

Because truly, it’s like the opposite of who I am. I’m like, “Do you realize I had two spoons like two years ago?” Like, come on. But, I was like, whoa, am I willing to let people misunderstand me? Am I willing to let people think that I’m privileged in a way that frees me from micromanaging other people’s thoughts? And the answer was, yes.

And then if I was free of trying to micromanage other people’s thoughts, what would I do with that time?

Claire: It’s so funny that you were just saying this. I will just say the other component of the – and I want to comment on that as well, because I just got a one-star review on my podcast that totally triggered me, and I was just like –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And I had to manage my mind around it. You know, your brain, the cognitive dissonance, right? It can be like, who am I to put this story out there?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And the other part, like, I’m an actor, so I’m a really good storyteller. And not that it’s like a story to perform, but like, I really believed in my story. I was like, some people are going to hate it, but I was actually also really proud and excited to become the badass who’s going to share her story.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And be all the way out there, to put narcissistic abuse on the map and have other people – and I cannot tell you over the years, just the last two years I’ve been really focusing on heartbreak, how many people – and again, now, I’m like, I hope it doesn’t sound narcissistic. Like the blind spot, right?

Stacey: I heard though, once, that if – this is, I actually read this. I think you might have shared it, I don’t remember, but it is, if you question whether something you’re doing is narcissistic, you’re already not. Because if you read it, like articles about narcissists, you can always like, oh my God, is that me? Like, do I do that?

Claire: Yes.

Stacey: Not a narcissist. You know, don’t worry, you’re not.

Claire: But, just like getting those messages from so many people that said, you know, “I thank you so much, because I felt like I was so alone.” And now with my podcast, and today I just hit a milestone of 50,000 downloads.

Stacey: Nice.

Claire: Since March, and so it’s just, I get messages from people every day that are saying, like, “Hearing your story makes me feel like I wasn’t crazy.” Right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so like, that is so worth.

Stacey: How powerful is that?

Claire: [crosstalk 00:22:20] or anyone judging me or thinking that I’m greedy –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Which, just to piggyback off of you saying the judgments of the privilege, I just had someone post “the most self-centered interviewer” or something like that, and I’m terrible. I am an interrupter. So I was like, you know what? I’m going to take that. I do cut people off, because I just get so excited. And I think you can relate to that, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: We say, oh, but this and this. And she said, you know, “If I had $1 for every time you talked about your 20 clients, maybe I’d be able to afford your expensive coaching.” And I was like, oh, a knife to the heart, originally, right?

Stacey: Gosh, so good.

Claire: And then I, like, but the reason why I talk about the 20 clients is because that’s been my transformation this year.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: I haven’t been heartbroken this year. And it’s like, what can I create with my brain? And it blows my mind that I’ve created over 20 clients this year, right? So it’s like, you feel the negative emotion of the judgers, and there are always going to be judgers. And the larger your audience gets, they’re just going to get louder.

And, I just have to know that my positioning is clean, and people are going to take it as dirty as much as they want to.

Stacey: Hey, because you can’t control it, right? It’s like, you’re always running that Facebook ads.

Claire: [crosstalk 00:23:30] reviews for the rest of my life. Right?

Stacey: Right, it just – yeah. I was running a Facebook ad this year, and it had a photo of me in a private plane with Brooke and some of the Mastermind people, and that wasn’t even my plane. I didn’t pay to be on that plane.

It was literally like, to me, the way that I took it, like what made me so proud of that experience was, like, I put myself in the room, in master coach training, to be invited to take that plane ride. And on that plane ride, I remember thinking, like, never in my life growing up in Midwest Indiana did I think I would ever be on a private plane.

And I felt like that’s so inspiring and something to share. And so when we were looking at photos, I was like, this, to me, is an example of what’s possible and it doesn’t – private planes, literally, who cares? Like, it doesn’t matter, but it does matter. Because what if we all believed that was available to us? What would we go after? What would we achieve? And I got a ton of people –

Claire: Yeah. You wrote a baller response to that. I was like, yes!

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And in terms of charging the expensive coaching is something that I’ve learned, oh my God, I really truly owe all of this to you in terms of my value and what I’m charging. You know, like, again, I’m an actor, so related to the feast-and-famine story, which I’ve said I’ve never want F&F to ever roll off my tongue again, right? But that was really my story, and easy to go there for coaching, as well, as a coach, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so I just was really committed to believing in my value and my worth, so I do talk about how my coaching is expensive and it’s worth it, and I pay –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: I pay my personal coach a lot more money, and that if you really want something, and I always say on my podcast, and if you don’t want coaching and you’re happy with the free content, like, you’re welcome. Like, I paid for the podcast to get produced, like, take it or leave it, but I’m always going to be making offers and selling coaching at the end of me giving you guys free content.

Stacey: Right.

Claire: And I’m always going to own that, right?

Stacey: Yeah, and just own it.

Claire: Exactly.

Stacey: You know something that’s interesting when people have an opinion about expensive coaching, because my argument for that is always, expensive coaching is only available to people who have money. I’m like, well my argument to that is, are people that have money less valuable and less worthy of happiness than people who don’t?

Claire: Ah, so good.

Stacey: Like, aren’t we all equal, like truly? Like, so a rich person’s pain is not different than a poor person’s pain, and a rich person isn’t more valuable or more worthy, and a poor person isn’t more valuable or worthy. And I’m using those as like, you know, there’s no real definition for rich and poor.

I’m just saying, like, whether your program is inexpensive or expensive, it doesn’t matter at all. It doesn’t make you a more, you know, you’re coaching and you’re doing a better thing in the world than someone who charges high end. Like, you aren’t better than other coaches because you charge, and expensive to the masses, right?

Like, what if that wasn’t a thing? Just like you’re not less than because you can’t afford this expensive coaching, right? It’s just like all thoughts about money that are unsupervised.

Claire: And also, at the end of the day, my whole thing is, and I say this because the majority of my clients are in their late 20s, early 30s, and I’m like, how many weddings have you been in where you’ve probably, if you looked over, like, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, the gifts, the going away, the wedding gifts, the bridesmaid dress that you’re never going to wear again, the destination wedding and the wedding present, you’re probably spending between $3K and $5K over the course of time.

And you would never say no to becoming a bridesmaid, but you’d have like tons of resentment. Because you believed that you had to say yes to your best friend.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Right? And it’s like, what if you believed you had to say yes to coaching, because you were worthy and deserving of it?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: If you decide that’s what you want, a big thing that I learned from you is just like, really, like, you can create the money. Like, you can decide if you want it, or you don’t want it, and then if you do decide that you want it, you 100% can create it.

Stacey: And how do you think someone can create it if they don’t have their own business? Because that’s a pushback that a lot of people say. Like, oh, but if you have your own business, or you’re in sales, you can create more money. But like, if you have a set income, how do you create more money?

Claire: You have to decide that you really want it, and once you decide, your brain starts looking for ways to make it work. So, if you’re just automatically believing, and that’s what I was trying to get at, with you. It’s like, well you’re all – and it’s everything that you teach us in 2K for 2K, when you’re selling coaching.

Well, if you’re just automatically like, nope, don’t have it, and you’re not even open to the possibility of trying to figure it out, you’re never going to be able to figure it out, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so with that, again, everything I’ve learned from you, so I’m repeating this but giving you all the credit, Stace.

Stacey: Do it.

Claire: It’s like, it’s not my business to say, charge it on a credit card, right? Even though I have done that.

Stacey: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Claire: Yeah.

Stacey: You might apply for a credit card. I don’t know. You might go drive for Uber. Who knows? Like, would you be willing to drive for Uber?

Claire: Yeah.

Stacey: Never ever be, like to find the love of your life, or to lose the 100 pounds, or to heal the relationship with your father? Like, whatever it is you want, like would you be willing to drive for Uber? My answer to that is very humbly, yes.

It’s like, I would go work at – I have, I don’t know if you know her, Brittany Deer, but she worked at Starbucks to pay for her coaching.

Claire: Totally. Well, I really think too, especially for my heartbroken clients, if you are like in the depths of despair, you are in no position to be out there dating, so why wouldn’t you, on a Friday and a Saturday night, babysit and pocket like 100 bucks a night, so that’s 200 bucks in a weekend, times that by four weekends, it’s $800. Times that by five, five times eight is 40, so that’s $4,000 right there over a period of six months, right?

Stacey: Yeah. Like, you’re in heartbreaking, you just like –

Claire: Yeah, heartbreak, it’s just like, I’m showing up and I’m just making the money. I believe you have to believe that I’m the right coach for you. Again, everything I’ve learned from Stacey, that I am the right coach for you, I’m going to get you to where you want to go. That my product is the product that you know is going to create the healing and the abundance and the sufficiency and the love and the excitement and anything that you want.

And yourself, how committed are you to creating that?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Because I’m not interested in who isn’t that client who’s like, come hell or high water, I have to work with Claire. She is my coach.

Stacey: Well, and that’s such a thing to think about is like, do you focus, because this is something, I’m launching 200K, I mean, the application part is over now, but I have to go in and just choose who’s going to be in the Mastermind.

But this is something I was thinking about all last week is, how often do people, do coaches, think of about their come hell or high water, best clients, when they’re marketing their business, making decisions for their business, setting their goals?

Like, I think so many coaches spend so much time thinking about the people who won’t pay them, the people who don’t believe in coaching, the people –

Claire: You’re calling me out from August Mastermind, remember?

Stacey: Where were you stuck in, I don’t – you have to remind me.

Claire: I can’t believe you don’t remember me out of the 30 five months ago. I’m teasing you. No, August in Chicago, I was sitting on 17 clients, obviously it was my goal to create 20 clients.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And I had been writing for Kourtney Kardashian’s poosh.com, so I was getting a lot of people who, you know, live –

Stacey: Oh, yeah.

Claire: All different ages, and a lot of them don’t really know what life coaching is, and, oh, I got so many reach outs and it’s like so exciting that people are resonating with my message, but a lot of them –

Stacey: You were in like the, like, I’m bothered by all the people reaching out that are interested, you know, that aren’t really great candidates for coaching. And you were so – you were even, like, I remember we were in the hot tub in California, and you were talking about like, “Well, but how do I respond to this person? And should I even respond? And should I do this?”

And I was like, you were spending so much energy in your brain, thinking about the people who are not a perfect fit for you now. Like, who cares? Don’t even respond to them. And you were like, “What? You won’t respond to them?”

Claire: But, yeah, I was so focused, and you just said to me, you were like, “Claire, three clients. You have to get so clear and so selective on who those three clients are going to be.” And I left Chicago and signed four clients the following two weeks. I just went to the place of who those women are who are dying to work with me.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: That woman is naming my problem better than I can name it, and she is talking about how she’s done it herself, and she talks about how she’s showing her clients how to get there, and they just have to pay me.

And by the way, my price wasn’t like a drop in the bucket for these people, either. Like, I coached them on their money objection, like, where do you want to be in six months? Do you want to be in the same place? Or is it worth it to you to pay this amount of money to really get to where you want to go? Because you’re going to be in the same place without the work. How badly do you want it?

Stacey: Yeah, so good. You have to focus on your best clients, otherwise it also makes like all of your marketing, when you’re not focused on your best people, it makes all of your marketing, not just heavy, but directed, almost, to like calling out your haters.

Claire: And now I don’t even look at them.

Stacey: You know what’s even more powerful? Is if you could find the truth in it, and you’re like, I could see that that could be true.

Claire: Well, that’s why –

Stacey: And I’m not changing my stance.

Claire: Yeah, I mean, as I’m interrupting you, like that’s what she said about…

Stacey: Stop being such a narcissist, Claire, geez.

Claire: Right? She said, “self-centered interviewer who’s constantly interrupting and making it about her.” I was like, ooh, there could be a lesson here. You know what I mean? And, also, take it with a grain of salt.

Stacey: But like even if there’s not a lesson, if it’s just true and totally fine. Yes, I am self-centered. I like to hear myself talk, so what. Right? I’m like, I always, I always laugh. I’m like, I’m the only one that can keep my own attention for hours on end. Like, I’m the most interesting person I know, obviously.

Claire: Obviously.

Stacey: Like, I’m capable of entertaining myself, haven’t you seen? I’m fabulous.

Claire: Again, that’s why I pay you the big bucks, not just for my –

Stacey: No, like, I think you have to be a little self-centered to be an entrepreneur, not in like the way that people make it sound so awful. We would have to look up the definition of self-centered, truly, to get a grasp on it.

But it’s like, you have to be a little bit into yourself to believe that you’re worth investing in and put money into you, to take time for you, above other things and other people, to make all of what we do, to put your stories out there. Like, so many people are afraid of seeming a certain way when they go to tell their stories, whether it’s in their email or on a podcast or on a Facebook post or whatever it is. And it’s like, what if that’s all true? And that’s fine.

Claire: Yeah. And I think that there’s so much truth to that, and I think, like, if my coaches, like if you didn’t love the fuck out of yourself, like, I love when I’m hanging out with you. You’re just like, “Ah, I just have like so much money.”

Yeah, she does. She’s like –

Stacey: Sorry, everyone, I just laughed absurdly loud into the podcast. Yeah.

Claire: You treated me to, like, such a lovely dinner and you’re just always so generous when I’m with you. And you’re just like, I’m like, “Oh my God, Stacey, thank you so much.” “Ah, Claire, I just have so much fucking money.” This is why she’s my coach. She has no shame and she loves the fact that she makes a fuck ton of money, but also you –

Stacey: I love it.

Claire: Know your value.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Like you know through and through. You’re not like, oh, I make money by pulling the wool over people’s eyes. I make money by helping other people make money.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: I make money by helping people heal their hearts, and like transform their lives, and know that if they – because these women are coming to me, where they really believe that they will never get over this pain. And I have been there multiple times, but especially in the abusive relationship.

Not only am I heartbroken over the fact that I’ve lost this person who I thought was going to be the father of my children, but now I’m also heartbroken over the lies and the betrayal, and then the shame for falling for it. There’s so many layers and it’s the fucking worst. And so it, like, why wouldn’t you want to? I’m like, hell yeah, I charge a pretty penny to help you get through that.

Because it’s also, I think something to be said about putting a lot of money into coaching, investing a lot of money.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: If I do this, I’m really not going to check his social media. I’m really going to commit to the no contact.

Stacey: Yes.

Claire: Like, I’m investing this much money to not fuck around. And that’s who I’m interested in working with. It’s not that you’re bad or wrong if you’re continuing to engage with your ex, it’s just that you’re not the right client for me.

Stacey: Yeah. So this is what I think. Like, as I listened to you talk throughout this entire podcast, really, what I want people to take away and I almost think you should go back now that I’m about to say this, go back and like everyone should go back and listen to this again, specifically looking for this.

But I think it’s so brilliant how much you know your person, how well you can talk about what they go through, how much vision you have for the other side that they’re going to be on, what you know their objections are, and exactly how you’re going to overcome it. And, the value of all of the work, mixed in with all of your personal stories and why you feel so passionate.

Like, when you listen to you talk, it makes sense that you make so much money and sell your coaching to so many people, right? And why you have 50,000 podcast listeners, right? Like, it’s like, all of it makes sense when you just listen to you talk.

I think for every coach listening, the question you have to ask yourself if you’re not making as much money as you want to be making – and now, to be fair, I want to just also put a caveat on this, that Claire has been in, she’s in her second round of the 200K Mastermind, so she’s worked a lot on this very consciously.

But if you aren’t able to speak about your people and your business and your craft, your work, at the level that Claire is able to talk about it, with the level of passion that she has for it, that is the reason you aren’t making the money you want to make.

I remember going through this. Like, I remember when I first launched 2K, I really struggled to talk about who it’s for, why it’s so important, why people should invest in it. Like, what the whole philosophy behind it was, to really bring up the stories that would infiltrate people’s passions and like make them connect and be like, “Yes, this is me.”

Like, I went through that, that whole struggle, even though I know sales, right? Like, it’s really, I always say enrolling yourself in your own vision and the vision of your people. But you’ve done it so beautifully here. Like, you can tell that it’s what you have spent time thinking about, it’s what you’ve poured love and passion into.

And I know you have done some – a lot of interviews this year, and you’ve written for Poosh a lot, but it’s like, you’re so well versed in your message, and your story, and your people, and your mission in the work you’re doing. And so, it’s so easy to be like, yeah, like, for your clients, I guarantee it’s so easy for them to say yes.

And in the beginning, we’re not that practiced, we suck at it, right? But like, that is the predominant reason that coaches don’t make money.

Claire: I’m like, so I didn’t even realize that until you’re saying it, and it just makes me –

Stacey: Yeah, because like, you are sharing your story, enrolling other people in your vision, and bringing people over. It’s like the hero’s Journey, right? Like really bringing people along with you.

Like, all of the, like, and these are not, although you’re in 200K and we helped you, you know, really, like, refine this and hone it and like really step into this next level of you, these are 2K basics. Like, these are what – it’s the five-step simple process that you’re bringing to life so beautifully.

Because I think sometimes we have a hard time, like there are the steps, right? Like share your journey, being the hero, like, there are these, like, steps, and sometimes people get lost in the how.

And so for anyone that’s in 2K and you’re going through these steps, it’s like, just go back and relisten to this. Because I think that the way you’ve spoken about it has exemplified this in real life. Like, this is what it means to be this enrolled and this passionate about the work you’re doing and the people you’re helping, and exactly who they are and exactly what their problem is, and exactly what they’re experiencing.

That is the magic, like, of making money as a coach, 100%. Like, you’re just, just in you showing up to talk about how, like, it’s like just rolling out of you, and I love that so much. Like, that is what you’re, for every coach listening, that is what you’re aiming for.

Claire: That’s so nice to hear. And I would say to anyone listening who’s like, “Oh, will I ever be a master?” I think someone just asked that question on an old Facebook Live I was watching, and it was like “Oh, but I haven’t mastered my niche yet.”

And I remember thinking that thought when we were in Cabo exactly a year ago, and I was already the heartbreak coach, and I remember I was finding it challenging with one of my clients, and I was talking to you about it. And you were like, well, it’s this, this and this with her. And I was like, “Stacey should be a heartbreak coach.”

And I felt like, really, just intimidated. And like, I was more concerned, like, I would never come up with that coaching myself. And it just took, like, starting to work with you. And honestly, in the same way that you have taught me how to grow my business and attract clients and create consultations, you’ve also made that metaphor with dating, right?

So it’s like, really, and so I’m always using like a weight-loss analogy or over-drinking analogy. Like if, you know, when people are just like, “Well, I can’t help it. Like, he keeps calling me.” Or whatever, it’s like, okay, but if you were quitting drinking, you wouldn’t show up at the bar and, like, believe that you weren’t going to drink the alcohol, right? Like you just have to.

So it’s like all these different ways. It’s like, even as –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: For my business, I feel like, through 2K for 2K and 200K with you, I’ve taken the same tools and applied it to my niche.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: It stretched me as a coach. Like now, I am unwavering.

Stacey: Yeah. Right before my Mastermind, they were like, I listen to your podcast, and then I go teach my people. You know, it gives me, okay, two things, actually. Will I ever be, like, this mastered with my niche? And, I could never coach it that way.

And I am always telling people, the reason I’m able to coach at the level that I’m at now, and I actually think I just talked about this in the last podcast, I don’t remember at this point, but what I used to do is every coaching call where I would get stuck with how to coach someone, where I would feel like I didn’t have a comeback, or I didn’t exactly know how to solve their problem, I might have just coached them on one thing.

But, like, after I knew I didn’t really have a full grasp on what they were needing coaching on, I would go and do my own work, in my own life, about it. I’d ask other people how they would have coached it. I would say, okay, if I could do this differently, what are five ways I could coach it? I’ll go find a book that’s on that topic. Like, I will figure out how to solve it, which is what’s made me so good at coaching.

It’s not just, like, how many coaching calls I’ve done, but the questions I’ve asked myself, like evaluating even my coaching after and saying, “How would I have done this differently? How could I be better?”

Claire: 100%, but I will say my confidence as a coach and my clarity has just, like, transformed exponentially through my work on my business and also working with a personal coach, because I had personal drama in the beginning of the year, which I had told you about, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And it was just like, you coached me so hard in 200K on that. And I was just like, “Oh, I’m over-eating and I’m over-drinking.” You’re like “What do you coach your clients on?” I’m like, “Touché, Stace.” Right?

But it was just personal drama, it wasn’t even romantic heartbreak and I’m just like, here I am, I’m really a personal coach over a business coach, so I need to clean up my shit, and I knew that I was getting in my own way, and just do the work. Be the product of your product, and always keep reevaluating, how can I approach that better? How could I have coached that better?

Stacey: I think that you’re, like, so – the reason that you’re so on point with talking about your niche and you’re in this passionate place, like I think a big part of it is I’ve watched you this entire year write about your people, writing for Poosh, writing for other places, doing your podcast and talking about it, like doing – How many consults do you think you did this year?

Claire: Oh my God, like probably 40 or 50.

Stacey: Which is so funny, because some people do that in like a month. But it seems like — if people want them.

Claire: But I don’t know if you want me to touch on this. I don’t get on the phone with every single person who reaches out to me at this point.

Stacey: Yeah, not anymore. But like, what we’re saying is, you didn’t just overnight – like people think that it’s a belief in the way of them mastering their niche, and what’s really in the way is thoughts that have them digging in and getting really into the nitty-gritty of their niche, writing about it all day, every day.

Talking about it as often as possible, like getting it out of your mouth and either to other people or onto paper in some way, shape, or form. The more you practice, you get in that, it’s like my copy. The reason it’s so good, and I’ve made so much money this year is because of how much I’ve done it. It’s a practice, right?

So the thing that is missing is not necessarily belief that will make you a master at your niche. Like, you won’t just believe your way into talking the way Claire talks about her business, and her people, and her craft. That has to be practiced and you have to develop the thoughts that keep you in that practice, and keep you telling people you’re a life coach, making offers to help them, right? Like in saying what it is you do.

And I think I’m like, it doesn’t matter what the networking event is. The reason you want to go is just so you can get out of your mouth how you help people.

And I did that in the beginning. I would go with no expectation of signing clients. It was just so that I could, like, I would listen to what everybody else was saying and I would think about, how can I position what I offer to match what it is that they’re talking about? Like, how can I position myself to fulfill their need?

And all it did was just make me a really great listener, and made me really good at talking, like not just rehearsing and saying this thing that I’ve said 100 times, but like really being able to say from mastery, what it is I do in 100 different ways.

Like, that’s how you have to do it. It’s the practice. So all you have to have is the belief that keeps you practicing.

Claire: And it just popped into my brain, but in that same hard coaching that you were giving me when I was like, “I’m in major drama right now.” It was the beginning of March, I’ll never forget. And you said, “Well, if I asked you to create five clients, what would you do?” And I like literally broke out into a sweat, and had to peel off layers.

I just had immediate mind drama over it and so we were getting underneath it, and what was the thought? And I think my thought was it’s too hard, people aren’t going to want to pay me, all the things. And then I – you just said, “Like, how do you want to feel?” And I said, “Certain and confident.” And then you were like, “Well, what would you need to think?”

And it wasn’t a thought, it was just that I had been to a podcast interview, and it was Nick Viall, who was The Bachelor, and he was getting interviewed. And I’m like, show up and like, just be in the conversation, you know. Show up about – because, obviously, if anyone’s a nerd like me and a big Bachelor fan, you know, Nick Viall’s there. He’s been heartbroken a couple of times.

And you asked me the question, how would you feel, what would you think? And I just remember watching the interview and thinking, “I have something to contribute to this conversation that they’re not talking on.” I was like, they need to, like I was sitting at the edge of my seat. Like, they’re having a great intellectual conversation on heartbreak and relationships, but they’re missing something that I have to contribute.

And it was from there that I was like, Oh, I need to be pitching myself to — like I am an expert. I do – sometimes we forget how much we know. And I think sometimes we forget that what we know, that seems so basic to us, is not to other people.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so I walked away from our coaching being like, “I am the heartbreak expert.” And I thought, felt, and behaved that belief every day, and that’s when Poosh came knocking on my door, and everyone wants to know, how did Kourtney Kardashian find you?

And I initially was like, I wonder how? And then I thought, well, 500K Claire would never ask, how did you find me? 500K Claire would be like, Obvi you found me, sure. All right.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so, people don’t know, because it doesn’t matter. But like, really and truly, it was my mindset. Like, there’s no way they would have come knocking on my door when I was in all my drama in February.

Stacey: Yeah, 100%. It’s just, even believing that you have something, I 100% agree, because I always tell any, like coaches who got certified through LCS, I’m always like, you have something that other people don’t have.

You have the model. Like, you are an expert. Like, that is something you have, even if you’re not a certified coach, you have something somebody else doesn’t have, which is awareness over the experience of whatever it is that you’re coaching them through, right?

Like, you have to figure it out. Like, what is it that I have that this other person doesn’t have? And I think that’s what held me back from making my niche sales for so long, is I didn’t realize, until Brooke started telling me, really, that, like, the things I was saying were profound. Because they’re like, my story and my life for the last 10 years, right?

Like, nothing – it’s like, to me, the most simple, basic truth. And for other people, they are like, “Wait, what did you just say?” And I’m like, “Well, you know.” Right? It just seems like not anything profound, and I think you have to really even be kind of looking for that and aware of the things that you don’t think are profound. Like, those are probably the most profound things.

And in fact, when we try to be profound is usually when we fuck it up.

Claire: Totally, I’m dying laughing because I just did an article for Poosh, and it was like, 10 Telltale Signs He’s Cheating on You. And I was reading the article to my new man and I was just like, one, you find articles of clothing that aren’t yours. And he’s like, “Oh, come on. That’s so basic.” And I’m like, “No, seriously. When you are in an abusive relationship…”

And he’s like, “Babe, I would never cheat on you. I don’t know where that underwear came from.” Like, he’s in this theater group or whatever, and it was like anything that I needed to believe he wasn’t.

Stacey: Yes.

Claire: And so, like my point in that one sign is like, there is zero justification as to why there are women’s clothing, that’s just.

Stacey: Well, yeah, it’s like all the stories that are red flags. What if they just were?

Claire: We think, like, it just sounds so basic to some people.

Stacey: Yeah, we’re like, there’s no way.

Claire: Obviously if I saw that I would run, and I’m like, but I didn’t run. I found multiple, so it’s like –

Stacey: Yeah, 100%. It was a college boyfriend. So I had a college boyfriend who I would always have to drive down to see him, always. He would never come to me, and there was always a great reason for why, and I was so gullible that I just ate it up. And I found women’s car keys in his room.

Claire: Because there was like a big furry teddy bear on it.

Stacey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Purple. It was like a purple fuzzy ball or something, and like a letter S or something, I don’t know. But I was like, for sure, these are women’s keys. And it was as if like, she was here and forgot them.

And I was like, “What is this?” And he’s like, “Oh, my friend is out of town, and she asked me to move her car for her.” And I was like, hmmm.

And then one time, I found a condom wrapper next to his bedside, in his bedroom, like next to his bedside, and I was like, freaking out and I’m like, “What is this?” And he’s like, “Oh, my roommate has sex in my bed sometimes. I get, I’m so mad at him.” And you like to believe this shit?

Claire: You do! You do believe this shit.

Stacey: You’re like, yup, that sounds plausible. You’re like literally, when you’re like in the, like, realms of it and you’re, like, not wanting to see it, you’re looking for anything plausible that would make sense, so that you don’t have to feel the pain, right? Like that’s what happened.

Claire: If you’re looking in, you’d be like, “Oh, duh, you should have left right there.” But when you’re –

Stacey: Kind of like, um.

Claire: I have to add one. My narcissistic ex, I found these like really racy emails between an ex and him, and he was like, “Babe, like she left me this message about changing her daughter’s dirty diaper, and I was making a joke.”

Stacey: They’re so, yeah. So good.

Claire: I went to a therapist who was just like, “So he was making a joke. You’re jumping the gun.” The therapist was telling me I should believe him. I was like, “Oh my God.” That’s where, you know –

Stacey: Like, when you’re in a loving, committed relationship, those aren’t the types of jokes you make.

Claire: No, definitely.

Stacey: Like, ever. It’s so funny.

Claire: The theatrics of his brain to go to like, “Oh, she left me a message because of her daughter’s dirty diaper and I was cracking a joke, like maybe you want to have phone sex.” It’s just like the theatrics, and I was like –

Stacey: Yeah, there is always the theatrical…

Claire: I’m like, okay.

Stacey: So I’m like, your roommate who has his own bedroom prefers your bed?

Claire: Right. But again, the basics is the point, right? It’s like health coaches often say, like, oh, organic greens all the way or whatever, and it’s like some people really don’t know that.

Stacey: Yeah, or like Corinne Crabtree is like, there’s your food, and then there’s your mouth, right? Like, don’t be an asshole. Like, she’s like the most basics and I’m like, oh, yeah.

She said something today in her email that made me die. I’m trying to think of what it was. But it was like, just so basic. She, like, was talking about, you know, oh, people falling off the weight-loss track because they don’t expect for it to be hard. And she’s like, yeah, your boss is going to yell at you, and there’s going to be Skittles on your desk, and they could have mold on them, and you’re going to be washing that shit off, trying to eat it. Like it was just, it’s so funny the way she talks about things in general.

But, like, it’s like, yeah, these are the basic things and you know, when she said like, there’s the food and then there’s your mouth, and then there’s the decision to eat, and don’t eat like an asshole, right? It’s like, that’s so basic. Because that is what people need to hear.

Claire: But a lot of people are like, I don’t have consults and it’s like, have you told anyone that you’re a coach this week? Have you posted? Have you shared?

Stacey: Have you met anyone new?

Claire: Exactly, like have you done anything? It’s like, no. So again, it’s just like, well, really just, and you and I are just laughing about this, like here we are laughing. I mean, I know I have so many people that are like, I saw all these red flags and the last thing they’re doing is finding it funny right now. But it’s just, when you’re in it, right, it just feels like it’s so hard to figure out.

But that is the work. And can we show up and be curious and non-judgmental, and just do the hard evaluation? My podcast episode today is tough self-love without shame. Like, you’ve got to be tough on yourself, and I’m not asking you to shame yourself. And I’ve heard you talk about it, too, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: It’s like, we don’t have room for shame, but also like, stop letting yourself off the hook all the time.

Stacey: Yeah, well it’s like, there’s a difference, and I think coaches go through this a lot too, where it’s like, there are other options other than, it’s okay that I didn’t hit my goal and I’m a failure because I didn’t hit my goal, right?

Like, there are other options than those two things. You don’t have to be indifferent. You don’t have to lie to yourself and create rainbows and daisies and butterflies when you’re not where you want to be. But you also don’t have to shame yourself into this, like, awful little puddle of mess, either. Like there are other options than those two, even though our brains don’t think there are.

Claire: And I had a client just say to me, that’s why I was inspired to do this episode. And she said, “I don’t know how to be tough on myself without shaming myself.”

Stacey: Yeah, it’s a practice. I think that’s – nobody does.

Claire: And are you willing to feel shame to learn how to just let it be self-love?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Because I’m a freaking heartbreak coach, and shame is coming up for me in this new relationship that again, has – I know it has nothing to do with him. But I’m like –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: All these old, fearful thoughts are coming up, but I know how to manage them. And I’m just like, I’m not going to shame myself. Like, the brain does what it’s going to do, right? And it’s like, nope, we’re not doing that, and how can I give myself loving compassion and discern that this isn’t the same as other times, and do the work. Just do the work and tame the shame. Like, it’s just, it’s such a waste of time.

Stacey: Yes. 100%, I agree. Okay, I have one last question for you. If you could give our listeners who are trying to make 100K, like they hear you and they’re like, I would give anything to be where Claire is and have her story and my niche down in the same way, with the same confidence.

And I would give anything to have the opportunity to write for Kourtney Kardashian. And they’re just listening to you thinking like you are where they want to be. If you could tell them one thing to help them get closer to that, what would it be?

Claire: Oh, that’s a –

Stacey: I know, I’m making you narrow and putting you on the spot.

Claire: But I talk too much. For me, and it’s going to be a boring answer to so many people listening, and I just guest hosted on to 2K to 2K, but it is literally the consistency of waking up. I wake up at the ass-crack of dawn and I download all my thoughts. It could be about the new relationship. It could be about a client. It could be about my business. It could be about a goal. I still haven’t even done the homework for 200K. I have to get that done.

Stacey: Don’t say that on the podcast. We can’t let anyone know.

Claire: Well, it’s due before the next call so I’m still good.

Stacey: Okay, you have time then, it’s fine.

Claire: Yeah, I have, but my brain just like does like, you still have to do this, you still have to do that. I just download all the shit that I’m just like, it’s too much, it’s too much. Every day I wake up, the majority of days, wake up and I get really clear. Like, what is on my calendar today? What is my goal for the month? How is 200K Claire showing up?

It’s just like, always. And there’s always new thoughts for the results. So Stacey coached me amazingly in August. When does she not, right? It’s like you coached me super hard on those, creating those three clients, and then it was the 25K goal just last month, right?

And I said to you, well the coaching that you gave me in August, I’m trying to apply to this right now, and it’s not working. It’s different, because we always change. And I wasn’t expecting to fit your coaching into a round hole, but I was like really trying to take that, because it worked so well.

And then, we got to, well, now I’m in a different place in my business, right?

Stacey: Yeah, it’s good to have different thoughts.

Claire: Right, and so I just need different thoughts, which was, this is just who I am, a 25K a month coach. So it’s getting savvy that you can’t keep latching and grasping onto a thought that works for you two months. That’s why the consistency in the morning of where you’re at, and I have a rule that I’m not allowed to get up until I’m shifted on like the biggest thing.

Stacey: Oh, and just how you said on just the biggest thing. Like, you pick the biggest thing.

Claire: Yeah, I mean, let’s be real, maybe you’ll coach me and kick my ass. Coach me hard on this. But like, if I’m waking up and I’m, like, anxious about multiple things, and I got a day of coaching and podcasting and writing and all the things, I just, I do think it’s unrealistic to be like, and now…

Stacey: I agree. Yeah, no, I agree. I love that. Like, yeah, even if it’s not the biggest thing, it’s like any shift at all.

Claire: Can I just like say, okay, this really isn’t a problem. How is this great? Like I woke up this morning and I’m just like, I have an amazing day. I’m guest hosting and I’m doing the podcast with you and I’m coaching, and then, like, I just had an amazing weekend with a dear friend visiting, and got to see the guy I’m dating and he’s coming. Like, he lives far away and he’s coming tonight.

I’m like, everything is good, but my brain is like, it’s too much, it’s too much, and you need to focus on your business. Just my brain wanted to come up with problems that just like weren’t there.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so it’s just like, how do I just say, what is really happening? And again, something that’s just been really working for me right now is like, I’m totally the product of my product. My clients want what I want. Like a fulfilling career, whether they’re coaches or not, an exciting love life, and just like a really great relationship with herself.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And I really pride myself on being very transparent with my audience. Like, I am totally fine telling you guys that I woke up this morning just being like, ahhh!

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so I do the work and I get, I just, like, stay vigilant with the result that I want. And I don’t think that the coaching always has to be – I’m going on the tangent, Stace – but I don’t think the coaching has to be about your goal every single day.

Stacey: No, I don’t think so either.

Claire: Coaching has to be like, whatever. Like, I think I just have felt guilty, like I – the automatic thought is like, with my friend visiting and because the guy I’m seeing is long distance, it feels like – and I’m taking your purposely resting your brain with me, right?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Right? But it’s like good for me to live my life, but my brain wants to just like judge me and say no, you should be working or you should be doing –

Stacey: Right?

Claire: You don’t have Stacey’s –

Stacey: That’s the coaching, right? Yeah.

Claire: And so it’s like actually, no, like everything is really, really good, and can you just relax and be in the capacity of having it all? And, I still have three clients I want to create this month, so what are the sneaky thoughts that are holding me back from creating that?

Always, because I may have 20 clients right now, but a couple are wrapping up, and I may have hit 150K in every month, and I saw you talk about this too, right? It’s like, oh, three clients? My brain still wants to be like, but can you, Claire? Can you really do that?

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: And so it’s like, well, where is my disbelief in that? And I think it was the judgment of having the good time outside of my business, because I’ve been so married to my business this year, and I think like now, the growth of the business is like letting love in and enjoying, like, having my loved ones come see me, or whatever it looks like, right?

Stacey: Yeah, so it’s like in the morning, you get everything out of your mind, onto paper, you think of one thing that you – like you work on one thing to shift before you get up and out of bed, and you really work on, every day, new beliefs to create the same result.

Instead of being like stuck in this one thought got me here, and I’m going to just keep working this thought. But like – and I teach that with the Belief Plan, it’s like, make that Belief Plan every day, twice a day, three times a day. It’s like, really make it fruitful, make it full of beliefs, not just like this one, right?

I think that’s so helpful for everyone, is like it really is just the daily practice of belief.

Claire: And always going to the result of being.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: Like even with creating the new guy, it was like, well what would I think with him here? And I went to holy shit, I think it’s really possible to have it all, right? I think I said that earlier.

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: I don’t just think about when I want to create love in my life I don’t just think about when I want to create 20 clients I think about the bigger picture of my entire life.

Stacey: Yes, yeah.

Claire: As that woman.

Stacey: I love it. I love it. So good. Thank you so much for being on today.

Claire: Thank you so much. You know I’m obsessed with you and I love you madly, and I’m so grateful for you, and I know that we’re all responsible for our own results, but you are my dream coach.

Stacey: I love it. Well, you were my dream client, girlfriend. I love, I love watching your journey and your growth over the last 18 months. It’s been so fun, and I love watching you live in your dreams. That’s the best.

All right, so if people want to reach out to you, if they want to connect with you, how can they find you?

Claire: clairetheheartbreakcoach.com. You can find me on Instagram @clairetheheartbreakcoach, I want to say one more thing. Stace. People who are just thinking of it as Instagram and all of that, right? Like people think, oh, because she has the platform of Kourtney Kardashian, poosh.com which is over 3 million followers, I maybe have like four clients from Poosh, really and truly. Poosh is not the how that got me to where –

Stacey: Yeah.

Claire: My brand is where I got me to where I am. And even in the last couple of weeks –

Stacey: Okay.

Claire: Podcast with Kaitlyn Bristowe, who was The Bachelorette a few years ago, and I flew to Nashville to interview, and I just got a huge response. I have a consultation today from someone who listened, but I created five clients over the last few weeks, and neither of them were from Poosh or Kaitlyn Bristowe’s podcast. They were people that were just like, “I found you somehow on Instagram.” Or my friend found you and sent you to me.

So, don’t believe that you need a big platform to get your business to where it is. I don’t know why that just popped in my head as we were –

Stacey: Yeah, I love it. I don’t have a huge platform either. Not on Instagram, not on my email list. I was thinking about this, and I mean, we’re going to do $2.5 million, $2.7 million something like that, this year, and I have like 10,000 people on my list.

It’s like, that means nothing. It matters what your thoughts are, the amount of energy you put out in the world, right? How your certainty, your confidence, your belief in yourself. And it matters what you do, the work you put into it. Like, that is the truth.

You know, people think that about me. They think, oh, Brooke Castillo talks about you all the time, and you’ve been on her podcast, and she’s promoted you in her events, and that’s why you make so much money. And like, half of my clients that are in 2K are not Brooke’s people, right? And most of my business, up until this specific year, it was my own people, right?

Like, she just started talking about my business in like April of this year, but it’s like when you think that thought, when you think that Brooke Castillo is what made Stacey so successful, or Poosh and Kourtney Kardashian is why Claire makes so much money, then you miss out on saying, what can I learn and why? What is this person doing that I’m not doing and what do I need to be doing? You miss all that when you think success is just being handed to someone.

Claire: The shift happened before Poosh came, I 100% know that. I believe the shift happened before the Kardashians –

Stacey: And then Poosh came, right? That’s what really happened.

Claire: And then the shift came before my 20 clients, and the shift came before the new [crosstalk 01:04:11].

Stacey: Yeah, 100%. People like missed my entire year of failing, launch after launch after launch after launch, going into Million-Dollar Mentoring and crying every meeting, and working so hard, and like, they missed all of the year of work that I just worked my ass off, and my belief and in showing up and in marketing my program. Like, they missed all of that.

They’re just like, “Oh, Brooke had Stacey on her podcast and told everybody she should join 2K. That’s why she makes so much money.” It’s like, that thought does not serve you at all. It’s just not useful. So I love that you said that.

Claire: You know, you Neil on Tinder, and I met my man on Bumble, and if I had $1 for every single time someone said that dating apps suck, right? It’s like, the A-line didn’t change.

Stacey: Sorry.

Claire: The particular app didn’t make it work, didn’t make it happen. It was seriously my mindset.

Stacey: Yeah, 100%.

Claire: And so it doesn’t matter whether it’s your mindset on dating, your mindset on creating clients, your mindset about your body, your mindset about drinking. It is always your mind that is creating the results that you want.

And it’s like people are, like just even today on the 2K for 2K page, but like, I’ve decided this is my goal. So what actions do you normally take? And I’m like, “Guys, how many times do we have to say it’s your thoughts?” I said, “I don’t care whether you do webinars, I don’t care whether you’re doing posting, I care what you want to tell me, what you’re thinking to create that.”

Stacey: Yeah, 100%. So good. Well, [crosstalk 01:05:31] you so much. You’ve dropped so many bombs, truth bombs, on this podcast. I’m so excited for people to listen and I will see you soon.

Claire: Bye.

Stacey: Bye.

Hey, if you are ready to Make Money as a Life Coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2,000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.

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