Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Brig: You know I thought it was four o clock Central. Jennifer just said, “Go Brig, go.” And I was like, “Go? I know you’re in yours now.” She’s like, no, I just finished. I was like, shit.
Stacey: I was just sitting here. I texted Michelle, I said, do we have – oh my god, I can’t talk. Literally, my brain just stuttered three times straight. I said does she have the information? Did we give her the information? I was just sitting here.
Brig: Oh my god, no. I literally – what was so funny was I literally thought about it like, two weeks ago. I was like, I’ve got to set a goal to be on Stacey’s podcast. And then I was like…
Stacey: That was a fast manifestation.
Stacey: I said that was a fast manifestation.
Brig: I know. And then I was like, I’m going to set a goal to be on Brooke’s podcast.
Stacey: Did she have you on her podcast?
Stacey: You are moving and grooving in this world, girlfriend.
Brig: We were going to do one on racism and the model again, but after Anita’s one – can you hear me okay?
Stacey: Yeah, I think so.
Stacey: Yes. So you were going to do one on racism and the model.
Brig: And so we set the time, and then she said, “I don’t think that one’s going to be right for you.” And so she said, “I think I want you to do one on leadership.” I was like, okay. So we just talked and talked about where the state of affairs are and what she wanted to do with the Black coaches. Because we’ve been meeting – she’s still meeting with us weekly.
Stacey: That’s fun.
Brig: I know. And so where we wanted to go from there. So she’s like, “You can talk about whatever you want, but I think it’s leadership.” And I’m like okay, leadership.
Stacey: I mean, I see it. Don’t you think? Maybe that’s what we should talk about today, give you a prep into it.
Stacey: That’s what you’ve been doing though. Like, that’s what I’ve been seeing is like, you have stepped up as a leader. You cleaned your brain up. You did your own coaching. You released that video and it like, just I mean, like a lightning bolt through the heart. It just really went through people. And it’s just been like that from there.
Brig: There was so much about that because I literally did that video and then came to Lindsay’s mastermind and got coached on it and cried like, I don’t know how to talk to my people and I just don’t know what I’m doing. And I literally said I should delete it.
Stacey: I’m so glad you didn’t.
Brig: Right? So it just goes to show me that your brain doesn’t really know.
Stacey: Yeah. I think that’s been the case for everything is I have been experiencing in the beginning, my brain was in a really high, high intense amount of fight or flight. And I really – I mean, my brain was like, we’re all dying. That’s what’s happening.
Brig: Yeah, for sure.
Stacey: I’m like, you’re right. Our brains just don’t know.
Brig: Yeah. I was in so much resistance. I think that’s why it was so powerful because I was in so much resistance. And then when I was just able to coach myself, I was like, I had so much clarity. And I think that was the energy that people say because it was like, oh. And so I’ve just been, since then, like, okay, let’s go. And later in Slack the next day I’m like, let’s go.
Stacey: That’s so good. Don’t you think though that is what leadership is? That is why I think that Brooke is saying I don’t want to lead on this yet, I’m not ready to lead on this, like I’m not the right person to lead on this right now. And I have felt that way as well. I’m seeing now how uneducated I mean.
I mean, even my own inability or discomfort with saying I’m White and Native American. And even talking about that, it’s like, that’s who I am and I still have this discomfort of talking about that. So I have a lot of work to do as well and I think that that is what creates leadership and allows you to lead is clarity. Being very clear in your brain where you’re going and who you’re bringing with you.
Brig: Yes, I think so. I think so because it was like, from that point on I was like, okay, let’s go. I’m going to go in here and write on Slack, Brooke’s program, and say all White people can’t come, I just want the Black people. Cannot believe I’m saying this, but it was clarity of like, Brooke, I know you don’t know what we need, but I know what we need right now like, we’re fucking hurting.
Stacey: Yeah. And you’re the one that was like – I wrote on someone’s post how can I help, and you were the only person I think that responded and you were like, this is what you can do, you can have some coaching calls for us, you can coach us.
Brig: This is what we need. We’re fucking hurting.
Brig: So I was like, I’ll do it then, okay.
Stacey: Yeah. So let’s just – we’re going to start the podcast already. You’re like, the third person I’ve done this with. We start getting in a conversation and I’m like, oh yeah, there’s a podcast happening so let’s – so we just start mid-sentence, which is fantastic and perfect. So let’s introduce you first and tell everyone who you are and what you do, and then let’s just continue our conversation.
Stacey: You’re my last one and I was like, this one’s going to be fire. Wait until I get Brig on.
Brig: I’m Brig Johnson and I work with high-achieving Black women who are tired of being fucked with and they show up unfuckwithable.
Stacey: Can I even say that? Unfuckwithable.
Stacey: Unfuckwithable. Why can’t I say it? Say it one more time.
Stacey: Unfuckwithable. I’ll work on it. I love it. So tell me what that means.
Brig: I just, for right now, what I see is that a lot of my clients are being, what they think triggered by other people’s actions, what’s going on, their action or inaction. And what I want them to do is be able to own their power and not let that take them out of their power and their purpose.
Because right now, we’re walking on eggshells. I’m like, get off the fucking eggshells. I’m sorry, can I cuss?
Stacey: Have you ever listened to my podcast?
Brig: Oops. Okay, there’s going to be some F bombs because that’s just where I am. Yes, we’re walking on eggshells, especially right now. Because our brains have been overreactive, we’re totally in fight or flight right now.
Stacey: Yes. I think as a nation we are in fight or flight right now. I mean, this is me not being a coach. As a human, it feels very scary.
Brig: Right. And so what I want, especially right now, is to give them, my clients, a sense of being able to be able to go to work and be themselves and not have to walk on eggshells, to show up how they want to show up.
Stacey: Why are they walking on eggshells? What’s the thought process that has them walking on eggshells? And you work specifically with Black women, right?
Brig: Right. I just coached a client just today, and her biggest fear – she works in research and development. She’s a scientist. She’s a Master’s at least. And she’s afraid that she’s going to say the wrong things and blow up in front of everybody. She has so much rage right now of what’s going on that she thinks she can’t control.
For me, it’s like no. First of all, we need to learn how to process those emotions. And her biggest thought was I need to suppress it. I was like, that’s the thought that’s keeping you stuck. So it’s still thought work. It’s still thought work as a coach, but the eggshells is I can’t say this, I can’t be around this person, I don’t want to do this, they’re going to – it’s all everybody’s going to do something to me and I’m going to explode.
Stacey: Yeah. I see that everywhere. I was talking to another one of our 2K coaches this week and as a Black woman, she was even afraid – afraid may not be the right word, but hesitation because she has a little bit of a different opinion than the mainstream. She’s a little bit middle of the road and she was like, I hesitate to say this because of the thought police.
So it’s like, everybody – and then I think White coaches, what’s happening with them, or White people is like, they’re afraid to say the wrong thing too. And instead of exploding, they think they’re going to implode. Like, social death is going to happen.
Stacey: I’m like, I think I’m getting through that. I do still have a lot of mind drama that I may have said something that won’t be received well on one of these podcasts because we’ve been so conversational. But for the most part, I’m having deep compassion of like – and I’m curious what you think about this for your clients of like, yeah, I probably am going to say something that’s going to – we’re going to get some emails for sure.
And it doesn’t have to mean that I die socially. It doesn’t have to mean that I implode, right? I can totally just feel those emotions. The worst thing that can happen is a feeling. What are your thoughts about that?
Brig: I did coach a client who spoke up and spoke up very publicly. And she was in drama because of the response. And she was a Black woman, and so some of the responses weren’t ones that she thought were favorable. And I coached her though it and was like, okay, so your world ended?
And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, so is your husband leaving? Are the kids okay? Do you still have a job? Just bringing her back to center of oh, some people said some words and I made it mean something really, really big and at the end of the day, has your life really changed? And can you experience that emotion of feeling that, but also grounding yourself in the fact that really, my family, that belonging, I did not get kicked off the island. But that’s what it feels like.
Stacey: Yes. I think everyone has that fear right now, like we’re all going to get kicked off the island.
Brig: Right. And we’re going to say something wrong, and I’ve just been saying like, my biggest thing is we do need to have the dialogue. We haven’t had the dialogue. That’s how we are here now. There’s some that want to have it and some that don’t. That’s okay. I will talk to anybody who wants to have the dialogue. I think we need to have the difficult conversations on both sides of this issue.
Stacey: Yeah. I love that so much. So what has been the thought that has had you showing up so much in such a leadership energy? You were just like, I’m going to tell Brooke what’s going down, what’s happening, I’m going to tell Stacey what’s going down, what’s happening.
Brig: It was from a sense of service for the pain of my clients, my avatar, who I coach, Black women. I knew if I was all messed up crying and waking up and I knew where I was and I’m a coach, I knew where my clients were. It was the fact that I just felt a sense of collective compassion for my people.
Stacey: That’s so awesome. I think that is what leadership is. You choose others. You choose to fight for others. You choose to move through your own discomfort. It’s not even like you put yourself at the expense of, but you just move through it.
You move through your – and that’s kind of how I felt in this situation is like, I’m going to move through my discomfort of not knowing how to say all the right things, but I’m still going to have the conversation. I’m going to have it with a variety of people that have a variety of different experiences.
And we have to just keep moving forward. Even if it feels like we don’t know – even if it feels like you can’t see what’s coming up, you still have to keep moving forward. Even when it feels like you’re in the dark, you have to keep moving forward. So what do you think of – if you could tell the Black coaches that are listening to this podcast, if you could tell them one thing right now, what would you tell them?
Brig: Oh my god, I would tell them that this is the time that our people as a whole need us more than ever. A managed mind is the thing that’s going to get us through this and we have the tools to be able to get that to them and help them with that. I think we have the answer, but we’re in our primitive brain so much we can’t even see it.
I believe our clients are the thing to solve with this. We have to help them manage their mind. I’m not a rocket scientist. I don’t have social justice – I don’t know a whole bunch of that stuff but…
Stacey: But you’re pretty smart. You’re pretty fucking smart.
Brig: That’s the thing is I stay in my lane. I know my lane, which is I know how to help you manage your mind and I know how to help you get your thoughts so that you can produce what you want. I want to encourage and help my clients to be able to go up and do it so they can do their job, they can come up with problem solving and creativity. Things that we’re not even thinking of. There are ways and things to do this that we haven’t even thought of, and it’s going to be a person with a managed mind that does it.
Stacey: Yeah. It’s like the solution has not been found yet.
Brig: I don’t think so. Because if it was, we would be there. Because right now, what we’re doing is keep doing the same thing. I’m saying we need to take thought work to this, which is we need to come out of our practiced thoughts and come up with some different solutions. That’s mind work. That’s managed mind.
Stacey: Yeah. What are some of the practiced thoughts that you’re finding with your clients are not serving them?
Brig: I think I just talk about me. The biggest thought that I had, my biggest transformation for me was when everything was going on, when I woke up the next morning after the video of George Floyd got released, I had gone on Facebook and it was a normal day for most of my friends that were White. It was just a normal day.
Like, here’s a picture of my dog and my kids are going to school. And I was aching inside and I wanted to see evidence that you guys felt our pain. And I didn’t see that. And I was furious. Totally furious. And when I got to it, I was like, I need to see – I kept thinking, “Well, why do I need to see that they feel the same way?”
And then I realized that the thought was if we only make up 13% of the population, that we need you guys to see it so that we can get change. And if you guys don’t see it, then I feel hopeless. So it was hopeless that I was feeling because I was like, how much longer is this going to go on? You guys still don’t see it, so it’s hopelessness. But for me, the way I was feeling, the hopelessness was I need them to see it.
Stacey: For you to get the result you want.
Brig: Right. And I know as a coach, whenever I’m showing up needing something…
Stacey: I love that you said in the video, you said when you show up needing something, all you do is go on to create more needing.
Stacey: I was like, wait, what? Like, I’ve said it in different ways before, like when you come from not enough, you create more not enough, but it was like, I’ve never said it that way and I thought it was so perfect. When you show up needing, you create more needing.
So will you just tell everyone how that actually works? How does someone, when they say I need to see – let’s use this example. Will you walk someone through either what might be happening for them or what was happening with you that was creating the more needing to see?
Brig: Right. I think, first of all, when you say the word need, your brain is like, wait a minute, oh, I need? Because we direct our brain to what to concentrate on, right? So when we see the word need, our brain is like, oh, we need this. But when you say the word need with the emotion that I was saying it in, then the brain is like, oh, wait a minute.
So it’s like, you know how you have par levels at different like, we need to keep 15 of these on the box in the stand at all times, like, par levels like in the grocery store, whatever. But in our brain, instead of 15, it’s like, when I said it with that much emotion, it wasn’t going to be enough.
The brain was like, more par levels, more par. 15 is not enough. 30. No, we need more, we need more. And what I mean by that is even if I saw one person, I needed another person. And if I saw that person, no, I need this person. It was – it’s like you never get enough. It’s like the woman who needs her husband to love her and show her that she’s loved.
No matter what he does, it’s not enough. And so I knew I was creating more of a need, and I knew intellectually I would never see enough to believe that things were going to change. I just had to get out of that thought and that emotion.
Stacey: Yeah. I just coached someone on this in 2K. We were talking about her need for other people to take a stance. And she was like, I need my job to take a stance. And I was like, okay, let’s say that the job takes a stance. What else will you need to feel safe? And she’s like, well, I’ll need my coworkers to take a stance.
And then I was like, okay, so how many of those will you need? And it’s so fascinating. If you actually ask yourself that, you’ll find how you’re boxing yourself into a corner. Well then, I’ll need all of them. Well, what if that doesn’t happen? And then what if they do all. Then what will you need?
And then the answer could be like, well, then I need people on Facebook and then I need people in my life. And it just keeps going. And it doesn’t mean that we don’t actually need that. It doesn’t mean that we don’t want the boss and the coworkers and everybody in the world to take a stance. It doesn’t mean that. It just means when we think that, we’re running around trying to control everything and trying to get that, but then every time we get it, it’s still not enough.
Brig: Right. Because I was spending all my emotion and all my energy on needing and seeing that as opposed to creating, which is what I did when I showed up with Brooke and got all my other people together. It’s like, I took that energy away and I actually created it.
Stacey: That’s so good. Yeah. You just started directing.
Brig: Yeah. Because it’s like, when I stop needing…
Stacey: That’s fantastic.
Brig: Right. When I stop needing, then it’s like, okay, well, what can I do? Oh, I see it. It was instant. Like oh, I’m giving all my power away for everybody else to show me that we’re going to get through this. Like no. I’m going to decide that we’re going to get through this. What can I do? And if every person did that, as opposed to waiting for someone else to do it and let me see, it’s just a power switch.
Stacey: That’s so – I really felt that. I want everyone to hear that again. It’s like, if you went out and started creating, just creating and everybody did that. It is, it’s a slight vibrational difference of needing versus creating. I need something from others versus I’m taking the leap here.
Brig: Right, yeah.
Stacey: Like I’m going to create it. I’m going to get it. I need something from others versus I’m going to get it for myself. I’m going to get it from myself or for myself.
Brig: Right. And knowing full well, yes, it’s true. The statistics didn’t change in my head. Yes, it’s true. But I can control that. So let me focus on what I can control, because all my energy was on what I can’t see and I wasn’t going to see it because it wasn’t ever going to be enough because the par level just kept getting changed. Like, we need 100, no, now we need 150, no, now we need 200. It was just going to continue, and I knew that was a cycle I was creating.
Stacey: Yeah. That happens in coaching business. When I coach my clients on money, they’ll be like, I need to make $2000. They make that $2000, I need to make $25,000. They make that $25,000, no, I need to make $100,000. They make that $100,000, no I need to make $300,000, right? Even my brain was like that. And you can make a million and be like, no, I need to make five, I need to make 10. It just – the need will always create more need.
Brig: Right. Because at the end of the day, our feeling is from our thoughts, not from other people’s actions.
Stacey: Say that again.
Brig: I was feeling hopeless. It was from my thought.
Stacey: Can you break that down though for someone that is really experiencing a lot of very triggering deep pain of words that someone else – someone said words or someone did things and then they’re experiencing deep amounts of pain. How is it possible that the words someone said did not create that emotion or can you kind of just like…
Brig: I’ve been coaching on that all week.
Stacey: Yeah, that’s why I’m asking. I know people are listening and that’s good for smaller things, but this is loaded.
Brig: Right, and it is. Sometimes I have to take it off the thing that’s charged.
Stacey: That’s what I do too usually.
Brig: Take it to another thing. So I’m like, okay, but our thoughts create our feelings. They’re like, yeah no, not on this one. It’s that they did it. And so for me, I use an analogy, it’s not the best one, but…
Stacey: We’ll take it.
Brig: Think of the best butter croissant ever. It is just fresh out the bakery and it’s hot and it smells good and it’s flaky. And you just want that butter croissant. You have a desire for it. That’s a feeling is a desire. Now, think of that person dropping it on a nasty floor and picking it back up. Do you still have the desire?
Your thoughts about it changed. Your thoughts totally changed. If you didn’t know it, your thoughts wouldn’t have changed. But when you saw it, your thought was, “I don’t want that. That’s dirty.” The croissant didn’t change. It was your thoughts about the croissant.
Stacey: But they consider the croissant did change. It got touched on the floor.
Brig: Right, it did.
Stacey: But if they didn’t know that it had gotten touched on the floor…
Brig: They would still want it.
Stacey: I thought it was like – I listened to a podcast of Brooke’s. I mean, this would have been one of her early podcasts. So years ago. Before I was even a full-time coach, when she talked about this is how you can prove that your feelings are caused by thoughts. Like, thought has to be introduced by you to have a feeling or an emotion.
And when she gives the example of when someone passes away, the time between them passing and you finding out, they’ve been gone the whole time, but until you find out, you’re living your life per usual.
Brig: Yeah, exactly.
Stacey: It’s like, that thought, that’s what caused the pain. Now, this is where I think people get confused is what we’re not saying is that your thought created the feeling and you shouldn’t be thinking that or feeling that. Do you want to talk about that a minute?
Brig: Yeah, totally. For sure, with that is like yeah, you are angry, you want to see a response. The people who are like, my company didn’t say anything, a lot of my clients are like, my coworkers aren’t saying anything. I’m the only African American and no one came up to me to say anything. They feel very hurt about that.
And that’s an opportunity to process that emotion. You feel that, process that emotion, but please understand that the way they’re looking at it, in order for them to feel better, everybody in the office has to do something for them to feel better.
Stacey: And then they still won’t.
Brig: And they still won’t.
Stacey: Yeah, because he still died. That happened. The grief is caused by that death and watching that death. And all the other deaths. So no amount of people saying anything can make that better. So I just think it’s important to know that the pain will still be there.
So it’s like, what I hear you saying is you have to start with processing that first and then when you have a thought that creates – and I want us to talk about what it actually means. I want to hear your words of processing an emotion.
Because I just talked to Jennifer, and we talked all about processing emotions. I feel like that, all week, that has come up on every single podcast. And I want people to hear it from different perspectives and hear it explained different ways. But there’s the grief of what happened that you experience and that I’m just going to say, I assume most people want to experience that.
We want to feel grief. Then we have a thought of wanting to know other people are experiencing that grief with us, and then that thought creates an emotion, and that’s not grief. What emotion is that emotion of I need to know that you’re experiencing this with me?
Brig: I think on that one, that was for me, that was hopelessness. Because if you guys don’t see it…
Stacey: So it was like, I need you to experience it with me and I don’t think you are.
Brig: And I don’t think you are, right.
Stacey: Okay. So then you process the hopelessness, and what’s the purpose of that?
Brig: The purpose of the hopelessness was to figure out because I knew – my thing was to get me to a place where I can move. At that point, I was crying every day. I was waking up crying, I was going to bed crying. I couldn’t move. I wasn’t taking any action. So I knew I needed to get out of that in order to direct my energy somewhere else.
So for me, it was processing it was as a coach, I know my thoughts are creating my feelings. So where is it? Yes, I’m sad, but it was more than just I’m sad. There was the sad and then there was the I need everybody else to be sad with me that was causing even more sad.
Stacey: Right. So sad and hopeless on top of each other. So the purpose of – I love that you said that because I don’t think anyone’s said it this way. The purpose of processing an emotion is so that you can move.
Stacey: Because when you are stuck in hopelessness, when you’re stuck in an emotion, you’re drowning in it, you literally cannot move. You can’t move forward at all. You’re trapped in that.
Brig: Right. I have people that are still stuck in that and the last thing I would want is for George Floyd’s death to result in us not taking action. I think this is the time when we take inspired action, that we take action that means something. We need our prefrontal cortex to do that. When we’re in that, we’re all in primitive brain. That doesn’t serve us at all.
Stacey: Yeah. It’s like when you have unprocessed emotion, when your emotion is like, leading the way and making all of the decisions, what happens is you don’t – and this is scientific. This isn’t like, our opinion. They have done studies, Harvard, like, everywhere has done studies where when your emotions are high, you have less access to logical thought in your brain. The brain actually moves slower and less effectively.
Brig: Right. You shut off problem solving. You shut off creativity. You shut off empathy. Just think about it. If you are in the garden and you see a snake, at that point, you don’t want your brain saying, “I wonder what kind of snake this is.” You don’t want to have a…
Stacey: How do I want to remember this moment in the future?
Brig: Yeah. A technical question there. You want to go and just run. That’s primitive brain. Primitive brain serves a purpose.
Stacey: Let’s not stop and negotiate with the tiger that’s chasing us.
Brig: Let’s not. Let’s keep going. I think the best example for me for this is I’m a child of the – I grew up in the 70s, so Mohammad Ali or Bruce Lee. Both of them fought, but they fought with managed minds. They went into the arena and that’s what I want for my clients.
When I think about it, I’m like, I want them in the arena. I want them at the tables when all these decisions are being made. I want them making the decisions, being a powerhouse, and I know they need to be in their prefrontal cortex to be in that arena. And Mohammad Ali, Bruce Lee, both of them were examples – sorry, I’m a child of the 70s, you know.
Stacey: Totally fine.
Brig: That got into the arena and fought, but they didn’t fight with emotion. They would say no. They fought with intelligence. They fought. They were good at fighting the fight. I’m not saying don’t take on the fight. I think a lot of people think thought work is like, we’re just going to be docile, we’re not going to take on a fight. No, that’s the opposite.
Stacey: It’s take on the fight at the highest power possible.
Brig: Yes. I want my people going into the fight with a managed mind, with all their armor, trained.
Stacey: With all of their power.
Brig: All of their power.
Stacey: That made me think of this. I’m actually like, Neil is a huge sports guy, all the sports. And I like to watch with him sometimes. And so he got me into UFC fighting. And so we have watched – we have a favorite guy, Conor McGregor. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him.
Brig: Love Conor.
Stacey: He reminds me of the modern-day Mohammad Ali, but Irish Mohammad Ali. And one of the early fights that I saw of him, which was not an early fight of his, I came to the show late. But he was fighting Nate Diaz who is a weight class above him. Much bigger than him.
He lost the first time he fought him. I mean, the guy is just a giant guy compared to Conor is so much smaller. And this is why I love watching him is you could tell the second fight he didn’t use his animalistic brute strength. He used his brain and it was so clever. It literally lit my brain up watching it.
This is what he did. He knew that Nate has a bad leg. He strategically kicked that leg. I wish Neil was here and I could ask him how many times, but I think it was 50 or 60 times in the fight. The same spot over and over, just like pow, pow, pow. And it wasn’t a big move, it wasn’t some big punch, it wasn’t anything.
But slowly but surely, he chipped away at this giant. He just could not – the leg, he started limping, and it was worse and worse and worse, and by the end of the fight, he won. And I was like, that is such an intelligent move. He stayed calm, he reserved his energy, and it was the same shot over and over. It was just consistency with that one leg kick over and over and over just chipped away and won the match, and I think that that’s exactly what you’re saying here.
That didn’t take the same level of energy when he fought like that as the fight before, where he was just punching and giving it his all and just brutally getting beat. It wasn’t even the same arena. And so I think that that is everything. It’s not even like it makes you more effective, but it takes less energy from you.
Brig: Right, exactly. Like for my clients, when I think about it, I want them at the board tables. I want them with COVID, I started this even with COVID because when COVID came in I was like, you know there’s going to be a redistribution of the things that’s happening. Like how we do processes.
I want my clients at the table. I don’t want them freaking out and in their primitive brain because I know they, at that point, their intelligence is low because their emotions are high. So I’m like no, we’re going to coach through this so that you guys at the table making the decisions. You have access to your creativity.
And that’s what I want for my clients. They can go in and be the warriors that we are because we are warriors. But if we’re stuck in our primitive brain, looking for answers outside of us, then we’re showing up for the fight halfcocked. We can’t do it.
Stacey: Yeah, so good. Okay, I have another question for you.
Stacey: Because I asked you if you had something, if you could tell me Black audience one thing, right? So I’m going to ask you if you could tell my White audience one thing. And I’m going to give you a caveat. This is for my White students who want to help and are – I’m going to say indulging in helplessness, but are afraid of imploding, walking on eggshells themselves, not knowing what to do. So if you could tell them one thing, what would you tell them?
Brig: Oh my gosh, one thing.
Stacey: I got all the things.
Brig: One thing, okay.
Stacey: I mean, you could tell them multiple things if you want.
Brig: I think what I’ve found with a lot of my White friends, because I had one girlfriend call me bawling. Like, I don’t even think she said Brig. It was just bawling from just realizing, it was like a fog lifted. And of course I’m like, yeah, it’s been going on a long time, welcome to my world.
But in the most compassionate way. The last thing I want to do is lose compassion for where humanity is. That’s the last thing I want to do. So she was afraid, just paying attention, she was afraid to even ask like, she didn’t even know what to say. Because she was like, I don’t want to say the wrong thing. It was like, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing and just say.
At this point, we need to realize, these are conversations that we’ve never had, never had. I’m not expecting us to be experts on both sides. If we were getting ready to ride a bike, we wouldn’t expect ourselves to ride the bike right the first time.
We’re going to mess us these conversations sometimes, we’re going to get it wrong. Both of us, on both sides. I’m probably going to say some wrong things on this too. I’m willing to fail. That’s how much I want this. I’m willing to fail. I’m willing to look crazy. I’m willing to say the wrong things just so I can say and be a part of the conversation. That’s how strong this is for me.
And I think for our White listeners, be willing to get in the ring with us. Say the wrong things. Yes, some people are going to be upset. Be willing.
Stacey: But people are going to be upset if you don’t say anything either, so this is what I’m learning is like, just say it.
Brig: Right. Just say it. On both sides. And what’s so funny is that White Americans think it’s just them. Black people, we’re not a monolithic society. So one person’s view doesn’t speak for all of us. We don’t all have the same like, I may say some things that some of my people don’t like for me either. I’m having the same thing as you, we’re both in this arena.
Stacey: I love that so much. Okay, I want everyone to just hear that thought. You said it like it was just like, I just think it’s such a good thought. You said it like it was the news, like it was just what’s happening, but I want everyone to hear is it like, I think this could be so helpful is to think we’re both in this arena. We’re both in here. We’re both in this together.
Brig: This is humanity. This is humanity. They are fucking marching in Belgium, Australia.
Stacey: That’s so good. And will you tell everyone on the podcast what you posted today in 2K? I thought you posted that on your personal page and I was like, so good. And then I realized it was in 2K and I was like, even better.
Brig: Because I’m like you said, indulgent. Like my White counterparts are like, I don’t know how to show up and I don’t know what to say and they’re indulging. I’m a coach. I’m Black but I’m a coach and I see it. I’m like, fuck this. Go make some money.
You want to help us? Get your mind right, same thing I’m telling my clients. Go make some money. Donate it. It’s going to take all of us. All of us. And it’s going to take money. And there’s…
Stacey: They’re going to take seats at the table. It’s going to take influence, it’s going to take authority, it’s going to take money, opportunity, power, everything.
Brig: It’s going to need all of us and we’re going to be needing to run on all cylinders if we’re going to take this on. So yes, I need you coaching your people, helping them manage their minds too. Come on.
Stacey: Yeah. That’s so good. I love it. You’re the bomb. The bomb dot com. You know what’s so crazy is to think about – we’ve got it, we’re still looking for that video. We haven’t found it yet when I was coaching you about the revolution.
Brig: It’s the last one.
Stacey: It was the last call?
Brig: It was the last call. Yeah, it was the last call.
Stacey: I could have just asked you. Poor Michelle started at the beginning. Of all of the mastermind calls, the last one.
Brig: If you guys don’t know what we’re talking about, it’s because I was in Stacey’s mastermind and you know how we have niche drama, right? And so she saw my passion for Black women and I don’t know, you tell me why you wrote it and how you came up with it because I don’t know how you came up with it. I have my opinion on how you came up with it but…
Stacey: Wait, what are you talking about? Oh, the Facebook message I sent you?
Brig: You sent me in a Facebook…
Stacey: Okay, so we coached on – I don’t remember that one. I have to find it.
Brig: Oh, I have that one too.
Stacey: I just know that we coached on it because everyone’s been asking me in 2K. We coached on this. How long ago was that? Six months ago? A year ago?
Brig: It was the last mastermind because I know I was like, okay, I need to get coaching on this revolution thing and so it was the last one. I actually asked questions on the last two, so it was either one of the last two. But yeah, it was me stepping into my power as a leader and serving Black women I want to. But I had so much mind drama over that.
Stacey: I know.
Brig: And so Lindsay had to coach me, Lindsay Dotzlaf. She’s my coach, my one-on-one coach. And she literally has coached me for six months on that one thing. And now she’s like, oh, now I know why I’ve been coaching. I’m like, yeah.
Stacey: It was timely, yeah. I was like, listen, I can’t lead the Black women revolution. What did I say? I was like, I don’t think that would work for me to do it, but you can do it.
Brig: Right, yeah.
Stacey: So I love too that – the reason I brought this up is because I want people – we’re going to find it. But I wish that people could really see your journey to know that if we flash forward a year from now – so a year ago, a seed was planted. Like, I’m going to start a revolution for Black women, I’m going to change everything.
That seed was planted, you worked on your brain, opening up to that possibility. Because I remember you being like, but who am I? Who am I to do it? Why would anybody come to me? And to have your brain spend a year opening up to that without fucking knowing what was coming. We had no idea what was about to go down in the United States. We had no idea where we would be in 2020.
So for everyone listening, if you – I want to just say for whatever revolution you want to lead, for whatever you want the world to look like, it starts with a planted seed and you opening your brain. And even if it takes you a year, you have no idea what you’ll be ready for in a year that hasn’t happened yet.
Stacey: And I think what we’re seeing with you is the work that you did for a year because it was like, even when it happened and you needed to lead and be the leader for so many businesses and thousands of people, it was still scary as hell. But you had a year of time to work on it and to keep working on it. You didn’t miss the opportunity. You stepped up and you were like, here I am, I’m taking charge.
Brig: Yeah, for sure. It was one of those things where it was like, oh, I’ve been working on this for – what if my mind is managed better than anybody else’s right now on this one? Because I’ve been working on this.
Stacey: Yeah. It’s like a doomsday prepper, right? When doomsday comes, they’re all going to be like, I don’t know why you guys are taking so long to get ready. Like, I’m here, I got my stuff.
Brig: Let’s go. I need my people, let’s go. Let’s go.
Stacey: I always joke. I feel like my dad is a doomsday prepper, and I’m like, if doomsday ever comes, I’m just going to my dad’s house. It’ll be fine. Prepared. I love it.
Brig: I was going to say there was so much – I think when people want to know what I worked on, there was so much, like anybody else in any niche, there’s so much imposter like, who are you to lead that? How can you, you’re just such and such, you don’t have this.
And so it was just working through but if I don’t know anything else about me, I know I have a love for Black women and their success. And just because I’m pro-Black women and their success does not mean I’m anti anything else.
Stacey: I love that so much. So good. That’s so good. And if you just think about that, I think if you focus on, for you, and this is what I’m doing too is I’m focusing on – and I think it’s hard. It’s hard to focus on – there’s the difference of focusing on the future you want to create or the reality you’re in now, and to keep your eye on the prize. That’s hard. It requires constraint and focus.
And you can easily get caught up in all the little things along the way. But that’s where it’s at. If you just focus on the result you’re creating on the world that you want to have, on the people who want to do the work, that’s what I’m thinking about. It’s like, for my students, I was thinking about my part.
Like, what can I do to be the most effective in this world? And one of those things I genuinely believe as well is helping Black coaches manage their minds and make money and become leaders. I’m not the leader of that movement. But I can create an army of leaders. I can help them step into their power so much so that they don’t need me anymore. They become bigger than me.
I can help create that. I can help create an army of women who are financially sound, financially backed, have opportunity, have leadership, have an audience. I was trying to think of influence. That’s what I was thinking of. That they have that so they have that behind them. That’s what I can do.
So I focus on those people. When I did the coaching this week in 2K, I focused on the people who wanted to show up and who wanted to be coached and how I could serve them at the highest level. And I think that that is what I want to call everybody to do is focus on what’s your piece of biggest impact and go all in on that and eye on the prize on that, even if you don’t feel like who am I to do this.
Somebody has to do it, right? I’m sure Martin Luther King Jr. was like, at some point, might have been like, who am I? I don’t know. But it’s like, he was a human being, just a regular person as well. Every person in history is just a person. It’s all available to us. So I really love the who am I to work on that, or who am I to be that person, it’s like, who are you not?
Brig: Right. And I think when I concentrated on the clients that I did have and the clients that were coming, as opposed to the clients I didn’t have and the people who didn’t want to do the work, because there are people who don’t want to do this work.
When I spent so much time concentrating on them, then I kept myself in who am I, and I continued to feel like an imposter because my evidence is I’m not making a difference. Look, they’re not paying attention. So of course I’m going to stay in that who am I. But when I look at my clients and I see their transformations and their growth, I’m like, who the fuck am I not?
Stacey: Like, deciding who you are. You can decide to create a revolution. You can just decide that shit.
Brig: Yeah. Who knew?
Stacey: You could just decide and put all your energy into it.
Brig: And especially with the passion that I have, it’s like, wait, I mean, thought work is it. What we can do as Black women with a managed mind, just up-leveling just a little bit on how we think about things and the power of our thoughts, amazing.
Stacey: Yeah. So good. Okay, so how does everybody get ahold of you? How do they find you? We’re going to put it in the show notes, but I’ve been having everybody say it out loud too so they can just like, get on their phone and look you up right now.
Brig: I’m Brig Johnson, Facebook, that’s it.
Stacey: You’re not on Instagram?
Brig: I am @johnsonbrig on Instagram, yeah.
Stacey: Got to get on Instagram.
Brig: I am. I’m @johnsonbrig on Instagram. I don’t do a whole bunch on it, but…
Stacey: That’s what I’m saying is like you got to do a whole bunch on it.
Brig: Yeah, I do.
Stacey: That’s where I’m on. I mean, we have Facebook too but Instagram is the one that we…
Brig: That you guys use.
Stacey: We put a lot of our time and attention into.
Brig: I’m learning.
Stacey: Well, I mean, now more than ever, people are going to be eyes on you. So they can find you on Instagram and Facebook and is that the best way for them to contact you?
Brig: Yeah, just DM me either through Messenger or Facebook. That’s the best way.
Stacey: I love it. You got to watch her videos. She’s dropping some knowledge. Maybe we should put it on here?
Brig: Maybe so, maybe so. I would love to see that coaching though. I think that coaching and how I’m showing up now, so funny. Because I was like, can I?
Stacey: We’ll find it. We’ll find it.
Brig: I was like, asking permission and now I’m like, okay.
Stacey: So good. The year has paid off. I can’t wait to see where you are a year from now, but for everyone listening, especially my Black coaches, if you’re looking for someone to help you manage your mind at the highest level, so that you can show up and you can lead, hire Brig.
Brig: That is me.
Stacey: She’s starting a revolution.
Brig: Yeah. My biggest thing is like, I’m at the back of the audience clapping for the woman that’s on the stage that’s my client. Like, she is doing it, and I’m just back there going go girl, go.
Stacey: And I will say I have noticed like, your brain is squeaky clean in this situation. I know that you have gone through a lot to get there, but you really can tell that your brain has been cleaned up and you are in your power serving at your highest capability. You can just see you walking that integrity.
Brig: Yeah. Lindsay Dotzlaf.
Stacey: She’s getting a lot of love. I just talked to Jennifer too. Lindsay’s amazing.
Stacey: I told her I’m going to have her on the podcast too. I was like, listen, you are producing some of the best well-managed brains in the coaching industry. It’s really – her clients, it’s profound the work that they’re doing. I was like, listen, I want to have you on the podcast, we’re going to talk about your mastermind, how you make coaches better coaches because I see it.
Literally every person that comes to 2K or my mastermind that has worked with her, it is night and day. You can tell they’re really done the work, the inner work, and they’re walking the walk and they’re talking the talk and so I was like, I’m going to have you on the podcast and we’re going to sell your mastermind, everybody needs it.
Brig: For me, it was like the combo between you and the 200K for that year and Lindsay, working with her individually, those two together, yeah. I’m like, yeah.
Stacey: You were like, let me get the experts and let me learn everything I can, and then I’m going to become the expert.
Brig: Right. And my clients are like, yeah, there, yeah, I’m a fucking amazing coach and I know it. But it’s because I’ve done my work. There’s like, yeah.
Stacey: That’s so good. I’m so excited for you. Alright everybody, run and hire Brig immediately. Get the support you need. Get your brain managed, your feelings processed, so that you can be in a powerful place to take the kind of action that will really create change. So good. Thank you for coming on the podcast.
Brig: Thank you for having me.
Stacey: I had so much fun.
Brig: I did too.
Stacey: Alright, I’ll see you later. Thank you. Bye.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.