Ep #300: Networking Mastery with Celebrity Stylist Samantha Brown

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2k, 20k, and 200k using her proven formula.

Hi, coaches. I’m so excited to chat with you all today because I have one of my really, really good friends, Sam Brown, on the podcast today and we have actually had her as a guest before and I have invited her back because as one of my besties, we were chatting the other day and I was telling her what she is working on right now and her business is something all of my students need to hear so badly. And for those of you that are going through 2k for 2k live with me, we’re having these types of conversations.

So I really thought this was just a really, really good use of our time to come together and have a conversation about restarting your business, rebuilding, networking, and all things, kind of what I would call grassroots marketing. So I’ll be curious to hear your thoughts, Sam. But before we dive in, do you want to introduce yourself and tell everybody in case they didn’t hear you on the first episode who you are, what you do?

Sam: Sure. So hi, everyone. My name is Sam Samantha Brown. I am a now Miami-based wardrobe stylist. I was in New York City for the last 20 years and operating and owning my own styling agency for the last 13 in New York and my family and I recently relocated and moved down to Miami. day, Stacy and I were just talking about what it’s like to go from being sort of at the top of your game or feeling like you had really solidified the roots of your business and felt comfortable in one location and then having to uproot and not exactly start again, but really to build a new network so that your business can thrive in a new location.

Stacey: That’s so fun. So let’s give them a little bit of background of your New York business. So in New York, this is just what I know of you. You have some pretty amazing accolades. I mentioned this on the first episode, but I’m just going to mention it every time that I talk about you. You did the styling for what’s the new Sex and the City spinoff called now?

Sam: And Just Like That.

Stacey: And Just Like That. So you actually styled when they see the inside of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment in the new series, you styled that?

Sam: Yeah. So they did an activation with Airbnb to recreate Carrie’s apartment when they launched the new show. And so I was responsible for filling that closet with a lot of those archival and iconic pieces that we originally saw in Sex and the City. But some of them, as you know, are long gone 20 years ago because they were so popular at the time. So I had to recreate that experience of what Carrie’s wardrobe looks like.

And my business in New York, it had a lot of different legs. I worked 50% with private clients doing closet edits, personal shopping and styling, and then a ton of runway shows during New York Fashion Week and for brands and retailers like Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s, mall companies like Simon and Westfield, and then some celebrities. I worked with Olivia Rodrigo and Bill Murray.

Stacey: And you just styled Stacey London for a cover shoot.

Sam: I did. Yeah, Stacey, funny full circle moment. Talk about rebuilding and what business looks like over the years. Stacey actually was my original mentor and trained me in how to dress people and not actually having anything to do with who chose her stylist for that cover shoe. The magazine had approached me to dress her. And so I got to rekindle with someone that I really owe a lot of my training and experience early on. So it was really crazy though for the tables to turn and then be the one to put clothes on her back instead of- Yeah.

Stacey: That’s so great. That’s so great. you really had a very strong, very successful high revenue business in New York.

Sam: I mean, it was incredible. And it’s still, you know, luckily, Miami is just a plane ride away. So I was working with my New York clients. But yeah, you know, I landed down here. And all of a sudden, it’s like, I don’t know anybody, I have a handful of friends in the area, less than 10 clients in this area. So it’s really an exercise in starting over. But it’s so different this time. You know, when I launched 13 years ago, I was young and new and hungry, and now I have a toddler and a husband and I’m tired.

Stacey: A husband who is also starting his own practice, right? Because that was the whole move as he got out of residency and is now joining a private surgery practice, if I’m saying the right things. Yeah, so you both are really building kind of businesses at the same time while also having a toddler and being in a new place.

Sam: Yes. And for any of you gals out there who know what it’s like to also support your man and what he’s doing, my husband’s a brilliant surgeon, but I am networking now on behalf of myself, on behalf of his practice and our social life. I need to build a whole life here for all three of us, my daughter included. I feel like it’s taking on something new now in my later 30s of what that looks like. It was a whole different game at 25.

Stacey: This is what stood out to me that I think my clients need to hear because for a lot of coaches who are my audience, there’s just a huge push, a huge movement for online marketing. And in this day and age, I don’t think that’s going away. I think the internet is such a beautiful place to meet people. And all social media is just a free way of accessing billions of people, right? And we can kind of get stuck and that’s really the only way to build a business.

And to really build a business effectively online, I think that there is a lot of skills required that new coaches don’t necessarily have. And one of the things that I love about my business is I really did build it. I just call it like organic marketing, or I like to think of it as grassroots networking, like just getting out into the community and telling people who you are and what you have to offer and building those relationships.

And what I find really impactful is that no matter what changes in the online landscape, and you do have an online presence as well, and you have a lot of partnerships that you also get paid for in your business, and a lot of people find you online, so you still use that presence. But I think one thing that you and I both understand is the power of moving the needle by building those in-person relationships and getting out into the community and getting out and meeting people and talking to people, whether it’s a move that has kind of forced you into that situation, or if you’re like me, I just started my business and had been a nomad for seven years. And so I didn’t have really any kind of roots. I had to build those up.

But the benefit is that now, even 13 years later, 20 years later, now you are still utilizing those same things. Like just because online marketing moves so fast and with all the new technology moving so fast, these things, these core things, they don’t leave you and you have access to them always no matter what changes in the landscape there are. And I find that to be hugely important. So before we dive into kind of what you’re doing, I would love to hear your take on that you’re not even in the coaching industry, but you have your own business. So what’s that been like? What’s the significance of this for you?

Sam: I think our businesses are very alike. And even though I’m not coaching people, I think when you have the concept of a business that’s leaving people better than you found them, which I think we all have in common, I’m sure anyone with this who’s coaching feels that way.

I was in this networking group years and years ago, and some of the pillars of the group are that when you’re networking, there’s three steps. There’s know you, like you, trust you. These are like the three steps in moving through a relationship to build a referral base. Because sure, everybody knows you. If you go out and you introduce yourself, they need to like you and then they need to trust you.

And so I think all the time in my networking early on and now, as I’m here in building new relationships, it’s not just a coffee date. You can have a coffee date every day of your life, but it can’t stop there if you’re trying to build a relationship and a meaningful enough connection that someone is going to bring up your name in the room.

So I think when you’re coaching, when you’re styling anything that you’re doing, you need to approach it not in a salesy way, not in a, I’m going to go out and drop my card 20 times tonight. Like if you’re doing that, good luck, maybe it’ll yield some results for you. But really what you need to focus on is what are you offering up about yourself? How are you tuning in and listening to the person across the table from you? How are you showing them that you really understand where they are in whatever the process is for them, whether it’s getting dressed or in need of coaching or whatever it is you’re looking at and being really tuned in so they can connect with you.

If you’re on your phone and thinking about how do I just talk about myself in this conversation so that they know that I’m a coach, it’s just not going to come off authentic and you’re not going to build the trust that you’re looking for ultimately. But also, I’ll just also say, none of this is happening if you’re staying home. If you’re sitting at home, you have zero chance. You have zero chance. And with that, I know we talked about this the first time I was on your podcast, you cannot go to the grocery store looking like you’re not representing your business.

If you’re a coach and you’re telling someone or helping someone get their life together, what does that look like? Be what you’re coaching them towards. And if you aren’t there yet, fake it. I cannot tell you how many times I was like, I got to put on an outfit, I got to go to this event, whatever it was. But it’s like, if I show up feeling confident and put together, I’m going to speak differently. I’m going to relate differently.

If I’m wearing heels that are so uncomfortable that I’m distracted all night, that my legs are going to burst because the blood flow is all in my feet, like none of that’s going to work. You have to show up as your best self to all of these things. Otherwise, you shouldn’t even go.

Stacey: You know what I love though, is I actually don’t think it’s faking it at all. I’m thinking of a specific scenario where some news outlet called you like five minutes notice. It was Kim K, right? Come talk about … Was it the outfit where we thought we couldn’t figure out where her organs were.

Sam: Yes. It was that crazy corset. And when I tell you, I want to be real honest about this. It was like, I don’t know, 6.45 when this producer called me for a seven o’clock spot. It was someone I never worked with. They found me online. And she was like, you can do it from home, we’ll do it on Zoom, but can you come on?

And I looked behind me, I mean, first of all, I was in a sports bra, I had no makeup on, my hair was on top of my head. You don’t get these chances more than once, you have to say yes. When opportunity is knocking, you say yes. The answer is always yes. But I looked behind me and it is like dirty dishes, piles of toys, half folded laundry. I was in no position to say yes to this.

I threw my daughter into her crib. I’m like, you’re going to sleep, it’s bedtime. Put her in pajamas, put her in the crib, slapped on some lipstick, and I propped my computer up so high on a desk that you could only see the window behind me and not the rest of this chaos. And I went on Inside Edition that night. And it was just like, when I was done with it, I was like, this is what you do.

Stacey: Yes, but this is what I mean. And this isn’t like faking it until you make it. This is being a person who can get into such a high state of preparedness so quickly that you never miss opportunities. And that is something to consider.

I think our brains, when I’m talking to coaches a lot, I remember this is a good story. And you’re going to love this because you know the person involved. But one time when I was building my business, I had one client and I had found this young professionals alliance of Louisville group. And I was like, I’m going to go and I’m going to get out and I’m going to start meeting people. So every time they have a networking event, I’m going to go and I’m just going to introduce myself to people.

And then it was like torrential downpour raining, like the craziest kind of raining where you’re like, it’s probably not safe to drive. And I found out about it that morning. I didn’t have any business cards. It was not anywhere near my plans for the things to do. And I figured out in four hours how to create a business card with one of those like online business card places, right? Like where you design it yourself. I figured out how to email it to FedEx, how to get them to print it and cut it.

I went and got it, like got dressed and drove out in like crazy amounts of rain, where you can only drive 35 miles an hour. I walk in sopping wet and I meet Lindsey Mango at that networking event, who became my second client. someone who referred people to me for years and has now become a really successful coach herself, all because I was willing to just be in a state of preparedness, like you’re never going to feel that way, right? You just decide to get that way. You decide, here are all the obstacles. My house is a mess.

I’m in a sports bra. I don’t have makeup on. I have a baby. It would have been so easy to say, oh, sorry, this would have been a great opportunity, but I just can’t do it tonight. It’s just not going to work. And I think it is an art to decide instead, how do I make this opportunity work? We just have to figure it out. The answer is always yes, like that’s so powerful.

Sam: It’s always yes. And first of all, I love that story because it also just is so indicative of your hustle and your commitment to making shit happen. So that’s the first thing.

The other thing I just want to go back to about this chaos behind me, this story, is I’m sure some people listening would be like, oh, well, Inside Edition was calling. It’s not like that. Let me take you back to how that even happened, because I think that this is important because you can hear people talk about great opportunities and they think, oh, you’re so lucky you got that opportunity, but let’s just backtrack on that.

So first of all, your online present has to be killer. It has to be so good that when a reporter or someone else is Googling to find. an expert on XYZ or whatever the situation may be, they’re going to pick up the phone. and actually call you. And that does not come overnight. That doesn’t come easily. That takes work, dedication, time to get in alignment with the kind of coach or stylist or whatever you want to be, making sure that visual is there for you, because it’s doing the work when you’re not in the room. So that’s one thing.

The second thing is that you have to answer your phone. I know that this is the most simple, ridiculous thing to say on a podcast, but I said to my husband that night it’s 6:45. I’m trying to get my kid dinner and all of this is going on with the chaos. I could so easily not answer an unknown number so easily. I always answer my phone. And I think like 80 or 90% of my success is because I answer people.

It’s so easy. Answer the email, answer the phone call. Like it baffles my mind how simple it is. But if you miss the moment, you know, if you don’t tackle your inbox, you don’t go through your voicemail, you have no idea what could be waiting for you. And I know so many stylists who have missed out on things because it’s a quick world. Things move really fast.

I believe in unplugging to take time for yourself, but you also have to be available. Figure out what that boundary is for you. But being available is like half the battle because everybody needs something done all the time.

Stacey: That’s such a good thought, though. Everybody needs something done all the time. I think you could apply that to coaching 100%.

I remember the first coaching program I bought that was not hiring a coach. I’d already done that. But the first coaching program I bought was this passive program. It had no coaching involved with it. You just watched videos. It was Valentine’s Day, and I broke up with my boyfriend.

I realized he didn’t love me, And I loved him. And I realized I don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s not mutual. And I was heartbroken. And in a hotel room, because I had been like staying with him, he lived in a different state.

And I see an ad or a post or something from a course called Have the Relationship You Want. And I bought it right then and there. I was like, oh, I’ve been thinking about that moment for so many years of if that post hadn’t been made, That person wasn’t thinking about me. I wasn’t following. It was actually, I think, someone else sharing someone else’s thing, like a different coach who maybe collaborates and does an affiliate.

But if they hadn’t made that post, they didn’t do that knowing I was going through a breakup in that moment, right? They didn’t do that thinking Stacey Smith at the time is looking for a relationship coach. They just show up consistently because they want to be there when someone is looking for that coach. And I think a lot of people, when they’re new in their business, they show up when they think there’s an opportunity instead of showing up every day to be ready when there is one, like always, all of the time. I think that is really, really important.

Sam: Yeah. It’s so important. You know, that’s a great example of an online connection that was made because someone was available to you with their advertising, but at the moment that you need them. But that happens in person all the time too. I’ve had so many scenarios where it’s like the least likely conversation has led to the most productive, incredible connection for a job.

Stacey: Can you give an example? That would be so fun.

Sam: Okay. So early, early on in my career, I was styling for a cashmere company. It was a disaster of a client. It was the lowest pay, the worst treatment, not a good scene, not a good scene. And I was young and hungry and so excited to have an opportunity that I was willing to put myself through the torture to start building a reputation.

And the girl who worked at the front desk, who was a year younger than me, I mean, she’s answering phones. She’s not a higher up. She’s not the owner. She’s not the makeup artist. She’s not the photographer or producer. She’s answering the phones at the front desk.

And her and I could sense in each other that we were not in a great spot. Now we would joke that we could fall in love in a hopeless place, but it’s clearly one of those scenarios. And there were no ulterior motives. We were just talking, developing a friendship.

She referred me, who knew her mother is a top, top producer for a top, top photographer that led to some of the most career defining moments of my life. For instance, flying gowns, couture gowns, in a seat with me to Budapest to shoot overnight in a museum for a campaign shoot. I mean, things that you heard-.

Stacey: Oh my God, I got chills. I just literally got chills.

Sam: But she was not the person that you would think was going to open a door for me to a job like that with people that, by the way, are so great that they’re some of my closest friends. shitty scenario, horrible job that I was muscling through, like opened a floodgate. for the type of work that I dreamt about with the type of people that I love being with. So you just don’t know. You just have to show up and do your job like it matters to you, even on days when you can’t bring yourself to be motivated and see what happens.

Stacey: It is about showing up and you do that so well, but there’s something that you do that I’m always trying to tell my students that they have really got to be in this space and do that you do so natural. And I don’t know if it’s just who you are, because you seem to be a little more extroverted than me, or if it’s something you actively are aware of, but this is what I tell them.

I said, you can’t turn the life coach on when you think you’re in a conversation where someone could be interested in a life coach. You have to take yourself as a life coach to everything you do, every interaction, everywhere you go, it can’t be something that you turn on when there’s an opportunity or you’ll miss the things, right? Like this. It just has to be the way you treat people. You leave people feeling like, oh, of course this person’s a life coach. This makes sense.

And I think that what I see you do is be so gracious with every person you’re interacting with. You are so kind. You are so caring. I know I’m getting a little bit teary-eyed, but I remember my qualification when my COO found you was I said, I want a stylist and it can’t be someone pretentious. I had worked with a lot of interior designers. It took three to finish my house and they were so snobby and uppity and just made me feel like this tiny small. And I was like, I can’t work with a stylist like that. I have to work with someone that’s genuine and kind and down-to-earth and just is warm and like is going to make me feel good, not feel small.

And I think that that’s how you treat people. And so I don’t know. I think that’s just who you are, but I think that’s something to develop if it’s not who you are because that person, like I think it would have been so easy for you to be like, oh, I’m the stylist. I’m not here to talk to the person answering the phone, but that’s who you are. You talk to everyone and you speak to everyone with such kindness that that type of relationship building, I think that’s where people pour towards you. You’re a magnet at that point. People want to be around you because of how you leave them feeling.

Sam: Thank you. But I think about, actually, there’s one friend of mine who’s an influencer. And what I’ve gotten to know about her after having seen her online versus in person that I think is really amazing about her is that she walks the walk. She’s in the wellness space. So you have people in all different kinds of spaces presenting different things online, but this definitely applies to life coaches as well. Because it’s like you can put all of this content out. People feel like they know you because of what you’re presenting on the internet. And then if they meet you in person and you’re not that, it’s so inauthentic.

And I think that there’s really something to walking the walk. I want my clients to To know, for instance, I’ve been many sizes. I’ve been 10 different sizes in my lifetimes, so I know what it’s like.

Stacey: Oh my God, I know. You sent me that photo, and Neal and I were like, this is not possible. Yeah. We didn’t even look like you.

Sam: I’m a woman. Things have gone up and down over the years, and I understand what it’s like at all these different sizes to have to dress my body. Sometimes I feel better about it, and sometimes I feel worse about it, but I think that things like that inform your business.

If you’re a life coach or a business coach or whatever kind of coach you are, whatever you want to help people with, you also need to figure out how to help yourself with. It’s a little like do as I say, not as I do. And I feel like that leads to confusion and probably roadblocks.

Stacey: I call it being a product of your product. And I think it’s interesting because I see more of a flip side. So what I tend to see in my industry is people who, like your influencer friend, right? People who are genuinely like that in real life, they’re amazing. But the way they think of themselves and present themselves online doesn’t match with the way that I see them, and it doesn’t match with who they want to be.

So if you want to be someone that’s inspiring, if you want to be someone that’s influential, you have to start looking. I tell people, when I started coaching, I literally had no furniture. I lived in an apartment with a bed and a laptop. I didn’t even have a TV. And I drove an old car. I didn’t have nice things, I didn’t have a lot of money, but the way I chose to see myself and where I was going and the value I had, I didn’t consider my value that I have influential things or friends, but I saw the value of what I had is I have influential tools. I have coaching tools. I have something of value that other people, even if they have more money than me and more clothes than me and more furniture than me and more spoons than me, they don’t have this thing.

So the way that I showed up online was very much like that. And so I think some people show up online for sure. I do also see this as well, especially with maybe the higher income earners, how they kind of show up and the things they tell people aren’t 100% of a match. Isn’t 100% congruency there. But then I also see people who have incredible tools and incredible value, but the way they see themselves, their lives, and the way they talk to themselves also isn’t congruent with the value that they have to offer. So when you go to their socials, you’re not inspired. You don’t see someone that you would be like, oh, this person, like how you said earlier, this person is going to guide me in my life.

And I was even coaching my 2k students recently on Go to your profile. Is your name present? Or is it some coaching business name? And I scroll through your bio and I scroll through your links and I scroll through your first 10 posts and I don’t know what your name is.

I don’t know what to call you. Is that available? Is that there? Is what you’re putting out there? I don’t think you have to be perfect online. I think for sure, it’s like I took selfies for the first 100K and it still worked because the content was there.

But like, is it reflective of something inspiring? Is it something that would be motivating to other people? And if you don’t feel that way, like, I do think that’s the first step is you have to say, if I want to motivate people, I have to feel like I have a life that is motivating, that I have results that are motivating and inspiring. And so that’s the first place I have to start. And I think that’s whether you’re networking online or you’re out in person, that is going to be a thing no matter what. That shows up everywhere.

Sam: Yeah. Just relating to people and being real and being your business. When you’re an entrepreneur, this has been a big learning for me actually moving down here because New York is hustle-centric. I mean, you guys, everything you hear about New York if you don’t live there is true. You work all the time. Your first 20 minutes of dinner with a friend, you’re talking about work.

It’s work, work, work. And your identity Miami becomes really tied to that, right? Yeah. Who you are as a person is very much about what you do. Yeah. Flash forward, I moved down here, I would say Miami is the opposite.

I don’t even know if anybody works around here. It is like chill, it is sunny and hot. I mean, surely people down here have jobs, but it’s not like this dominating-.

Stacey: It’s not evident.

Sam: It’s not a dominating force in the room in the same way. interesting, right? Depending on where you’re from and what you’re involved in, because you also don’t want to walk into a room of people that you’re meeting for the first time and carry with you this like, hey, how you doing? I’m a stylist. What do you do? What do you do? That’s gross.

Stacey: In any environment, actually. I don’t think that that works.

Sam: It doesn’t work. It definitely doesn’t work. But at the same time, you need to find a way to represent yourself because otherwise, if no one knows what you do, you’re never going to get.

Stacey: Clients. Okay. Let’s talk about this. Cause this was so interesting to me when I was hearing you all the different ways that you’re doing this. So can you give some really concrete, tangible examples of how you’re getting out of your house, how you’re meeting people for your daughter, for you and your husband, for your business, where are the places you’re going? Like let’s kind of help them brainstorm a little bit.

Sam: Sure. So, okay. Number one is like, if you’re moving, tap into your initial network. So I started telling everyone in New York, I was moving to Miami. So who do they know in Miami that I should meet? For a friendship, for networking, just because. And so I think I joked to you the other day that I’m dating the moms. I’m dating all the moms.

My daughter just started a school down here. So I could be the mom that drops her off and picks her up and waves hello to the people passing by. Or I can be the one, which I am, that just organized a mom’s night next month. I said, let’s all put our kids to bed. Let’s go to drinks in town. If you come, great.

If you don’t come, that’s fine. But what I have found is that everybody loves an organizer. Everybody.

So in New York, I started a kid’s music class. All these kids were coming with their nannies. And this was for my daughter, just to build her a social life. But I’m like, who are the moms? I need the moms’ phone numbers. Let’s get on a chat.

We started Moms Nights in New York. They’re some of my very dear friends now. But, like, if you don’t walk through the door, nothing is going to happen. Like, I just can’t stress that enough.

Stacey: So you just, like, go up to these moms that you don’t know, and you’re like, Hi, I’m Sam. I’m new. I’d like to organize a mom’s night.

Sam: Well, first it was, let’s get everybody on a group chat for the class. Because look, this can only benefit our kids, right? Like, what do we all have in common? And if you’re not a mom, this can apply for many other things. What’s the common ground with you and any group of people? is it your fitness class?

Because by the way, I’ve done this also with women that I met through a workout that I used to do. And I also was part of a dinner club when I became a vegan years ago. I’m not anymore, but I do this all the time.

Any group or interest I have, I find what’s the common ground with these 10, 12, 20 people. And then I’ll start a thread, whether it be e-mail or WhatsApp chat or group chat, and then throw together a drinks night. You don’t even have to do anything. This is what’s so simple. So, it’s a play date, you pick the park, pick the park and show up with a bag of chips. You pick a happy hour, pick the bar, pick the restaurant.

Stacey: Yes. This is so good.

Sam: I’ll be here at 5.30. Come, don’t come. I promise you somebody always comes. Somebody always comes. And I mean, I’m just kind of like rinse, repeat, doing this down here. So yeah, with the moms at her school and then also leveraging any contacts.

And I think this happens, by the way, when everybody moves. If any of you have ever moved from one city to another, I would wage a bet that someone in your life from point A said, oh, you should meet my friend in city B. And my question is, did you? Did you meet them? Did you take the number?

Stacey: Oh, my God, I would be so guilty of this. When we moved to Nashville, though, I’m going to be hitting you up because I know you have friends there. And you’re going to be like, you need to meet this friend and this friend, and I’m going to do it. my realtor, I’m going to be like, Hey, realtor, and she’s very connected in Nashville. Her social media is like crazy, but I’m going to be like, listen, Kelly, like who do I need to meet? Introduce me.

Let’s do some dinner parties. I’ll host a dinner party. You host a dinner party. Like let’s meet some people. I’ll definitely be doing that. I think that’s such an interesting way to think about who sold you your house.

Who do they know? That’s a good one. Or who built your house? Because if we ended up building on the land that we bought, he was like, Oh, I ‘m going to totally get you into the best preschool. Like I’ll make the introduction. And for me, I am an introvert.

So this would require effort. This would not be as effortless as I think you make it seem. And also I would do it.

Sam: Okay, I’m going to say another thing from my old networking group, the founder of that group that I was in, he always used to say, it’s network. It is not net play.

Stacey: Oh, that’s so good.

Sam: It’s so corny, but don’t think for a second that this isn’t work. This is work. This is work.

Stacey: Oh, good.

Sam: If you’re an entrepreneur, this is part of your job. If you want to build a business, look, you can take or leave any of these little nuggets. But this is work. This is network work. You have to put in the work if you want the rewards, whether it’s working out at a gym, Whether it’s painting the walls of your house, like everything with a positive outcome is going to require some effort.

And you can decide, like you can put in a hundred percent or 80% or whatever. And what I would say to my introverts who are listening, because I know that this. like cringy for people oh how am I gonna do this but what I would say is then get a buddy on board who has a bigger mouth than you. There’s always someone in every room of people that you can tell is just like social and comfortable and be like, hey, I want to start this thing. Would you do it with me?

I understand that that’s putting yourself out there, but it’s like more minimal, right? Like it’s just you and one other person. And look, if you’re going to own a business, like you need to be able to talk to one other person. So just make a buddy system. Do it together.

Stacey: Yeah. That’s so good. So I have an actually an idea for this. So when I started my business, my first two clients, you know, both of them, the Lindsey’s and in the beginning, they were my first two clients for like, I feel like three, four, six months. I can’t remember exactly, but for a considerable enough time that I remember, they were like my whole world. Like I just poured into them, constantly checking in on them, not in like a hustling way, but just like it was easy to take care of them when they were my only too.

And I remember that we were talking about something. I think it was Lindsay Dotzlaf said, oh my gosh, I just feel like all of my friends need to hear this conversation. And I said, well, they could. We could just do something. You could have wine night and I could come.

I could host a workshop. And I could even do a full day workshop for something really cheap. And they could pay for it. You don’t have to pay for it.

But I created a $100 full day offer. I I went and rented a room in like a Westgate hotel. It wasn’t even anything nice. And she told all of her friends, like, listen, I’m working with this coach and it’s incredible and you really have to like hear what she has to say. And I spent eight hours teaching them, all of her friends for the whole day. And I ended up signing like another client from that and then a couple more clients from that.

And then I did the same thing. Lindsey Mango was at the time was running a network marketing business. She did Beachbody and she was like, I really want my whole team to learn from you. And so I was like, okay, let’s do a workshop and I’ll do it for your whole team. And then she would be like, hey, I’m doing a Christmas party for my team. Would you mind coming?

And I didn’t even speak. I was just like, oh, of course, yeah, I’ll be there. And I just showed up everywhere.

So even if it’s your client and they’re like, oh gosh, I wish my family could hear this. Well, I’m happy to do a family workshop day or something like anything that you could just make the offer, right? That’s part of it is it’s very uncomfortable, but just make the offer.

Sam: Yes. Make the offer. And also, you know, if you’re feeling like isolated, like you’re not in a city that has a lot going on or you’re out in the suburbs somewhere, you feel like isolated, there are meetup groups everywhere. It is so easy to start up a meetup group with online communities.

Stacey: I started those all the time.

Sam: Yes. You know, I mean, try. If you don’t try, nothing is going to happen. We can all sit at home and say, I’m a coach, I’m a stylist, I’m this and that. But if you’re not actually doing anything, then it’s never going to be what you want it to be.

Sam: I remember one time I drove two and a half hours to a different city, a bigger city than mine and I started a meetup. I didn’t know anyone. I literally posted on the internet that I’m going to be at this place. I think through networking, I think actually a friend of Lindsey Dotsoff’s worked for this really big steakhouse in downtown Indianapolis and And she connected with me, with her, and I got like a room that they weren’t using at an hour that they didn’t really need it for us, like a super cheap price. And I was like, Hey, come have drinks with me. Let’s meet in the bar.

Then I think we ended up moving up for dinner and I called it the Diva Power Network, I think. So it wasn’t anything like cool or fancy, but I had women that showed up and they were like, I left work and I drove home and got changed because I didn’t feel like I was dressed diva enough for this event. And they were just so excited to meet another woman who was out in the world. I had no idea who was going to show up. I met like 12 different new women from a completely different city at that event.

Sam: Yes. And can I also offer up, you can do this virtually. Yeah. You cannot get out there to meet people because of wherever you are. You can make these virtual meetups and build a community online. There’s like no stopping you, right?

Like there’s no excuse anymore to pull yourself up and not put yourself out there when you’re trying to build a business. You can do it in 10,000 different ways. So I would say, you know, just remember that of course it’s going to be work.

Stacey: So I’m curious what you would say to someone who says, because I get this a lot, well, I just don’t really have time or desire to have any more friends in my life, to have any more contacts in my life. That’s not really what I’m interested in. And I will say this caveat for everyone listening. I was just coaching someone on this in my program where she was saying, I’m not interested in following 100 new people and commenting on all of their stuff and creating… a hundred new friendships and I have a service that I offer and I want to offer that and I was telling her, well, your therapist isn’t commenting on your son’s soccer photos, right? It doesn’t have to be unnatural.

That’s not what therapists are doing. You can build just professional relationships. But I am curious what your thought is about meeting all these new friends and putting all these groups together because there’s the initial doing of it where I think some coaches would stop is they would host the group in the night and if they didn’t get any clients from it, they would never follow up again. They’re like, oh, there weren’t any clients there. So what is your thought that has you following up, has you continuously engaging when you are very busy? You do run a business. You even are flying back to New York to still serve clients there and you have a toddler that you’re very involved with her life and you have a husband building his own practice. And so what is the thought that you tell yourself about the follow-up and keeping these relationships nurtured.

Sam: Sure. I mean, look, I will say that that is probably the most complicated piece, right? Like the first step, meeting people is easy. It’s what happens after. So there’s a few things with that. One is anyone who says they don’t have time, time is like our only commodity now, right?

Like you can’t buy it back. You can’t get it back. Everything else is trying to take our time, including our phones, our social media, all of this. And while I understand social media is a really big tool for work, what I would ask you is how much time are you spending not doing work on the devices? Okay. This is not to guilt anyone.

This is not to shame anyone for their phone use. I am on my phone all the time, but there are days where I say, okay, tonight is not about Instagram. Tonight I’m going to make a plan that’s social or networking or otherwise.

Make it something you do once a week. Make it something you do once a month. Only you know how much time you’re willing to give over to the building of your business. But what I would say is that back to that idea of the know you, like you, trust you, that first event you throw, that’s know you. That’s Just putting your name in the room, they’ve seen you, they know a little bit about you. They might like you a little bit, but they don’t know you well enough to really like you. And I would doubt that they trust you with their money, because let’s also talk about that. What we’re asking for in exchange for our services is their partnered money.

So if they don’t trust you, whether it’s based on your reputation because of a referral or not, people don’t part with their money that easily. You need them to know that the value is there. So maybe it’s not that you have to host them at your house every Saturday, but there is some sort of follow-up, whether it be a text message. Hey, it was so great to meet the other night. Do you want to get coffee in a week? Or hey, I saw this article that I remembered we talked about this restaurant and look, something similar opened here.

You have to be thoughtful enough to form a relationship. It’s not so much time. I think it’s the thoughtfulness to open doors, because a little bit goes a long way. When you actually remember something someone said to you, or you were really listening. Just yesterday, it’s funny, you said your broker, your builder. If you move somewhere, no one knows more people than your broker, so that’s a perfect first date to have.

I have befriended my broker down here, because she is genuinely awesome, and we have a ton in common. But the coolest thing about her is when we were sitting yesterday and talking, she was really listening to me about being moms and some personal postpartum stuff and she said, I totally hear you. I understand you and I know what that feels like. And for me, I was like, there’s something magic just happened in this new friendship. She is not looking for the waiter for a Diet Coke.

She’s not asking for a check. She’s not pushing around her plate. She was with me. So even if I don’t see her again for two months, it doesn’t matter.

Stacey: Oh, that’s so good.

Sam: Yeah. It’s just real connections, not fluff.

Stacey: I love that. And the other thing I was thinking about, because I am the introvert, right? Networking definitely did feel like work, but the other thing though that I am thinking back to, I mean, if someone invited me to dinner and then they said, oh, would it be weird if I invited my friend? I’d be like, absolutely not. Bring them. If I got invited to coffee, I would invite other people to coffee.

And even though that is work for someone who’s introverted to get out and hang out with people The other thing though that happens is every time you’re out with people, I do think you feel a little bit better when you get to talk about what you do or when you get into a conversation that feels really meaningful or you meet someone that there is a connection and it feels a hell of a lot better than sitting in your house and… And being like, what do I do? My business isn’t growing. I don’t know anyone. I don’t have any leads.

I call it the metaphorical sitting on the couch eating cookies. And I always say like it’s much harder to try a little than to try a lot. So when you’re actually out in the mix and you’re meeting people all the time and you’re engaging like you’re creating a lot of connection, which feels good to us, you are having the opportunity to live into the person you want to be in the business you want to have, which also feels good. The more you do that, the more you believe you’re going to make it. So then your confidence skyrockets. And then at the end of the day, even though you were tired and you did things that are way outside of your comfort zone and took your energy and time away from your family, at the end of the night, you lay your head on your pillow and you’re like, I showed up for myself and my business today and my dreams. I really got at it.

And the more you do that, the more seriously you take yourself, the more seriously other people start to take you. And I just think it does actually feel better to be, whether it’s online, again, you can also do this online, or if you are able to just get out, even if it’s to other cities, if you’re able to get out, you feel so much better about it.

Sam: You do feel so much better. And I also want to add, this is a short story, but I think it’s important with what we’re talking about. So my husband is super introverted. He’s very, very introverted. And he’s a surgeon and he just finished up a residency and a fellowship. He has been training and operating now for 10 years, and he is finally in a private practice. I’m just setting up that so that people know what happened.

So we went out for the first time down here, and he starts meeting these other husbands, right? Like of the women that I had put together the group with. And I hear him being small. Yeah, I’m starting up this practice. Like I start the day after Labor Day, and we’ll see how it goes, and I’m excited and whatever. left dinner, I was like, listen, that’s not who you are at all.

I’m like, you trained at the top hospitals in New York City. You have been doing this for 10 years. You sub-specialized to be that much better. You are going to go in there and kick total ass at this practice, but no one’s going to believe you if you say it like that. No one’s going to know.

Stacey: Who?

Sam: You are if you don’t tell them. And I don’t mean to brag and puff your chest and this and that, But once you’re in the position to put yourself out there, do it. Don’t be small. Don’t get humble and small and like, oh, I’m a coach, but I just started, and oh, I just moved here. I don’t know anybody. No. Leave that shit at home. You go in there being you, 100% you.

Stacey: You are a coach.

Sam: You have clients. Even if you don’t have clients, you are ready to serve. Yes. You are ready to be here. And I think that it’s like you open the door, you network, you show up, but it’s not just watching it. You have to close the loop and know your pitch and make it quick. But.

Stacey: But I always tell them that you got to walk in the room and the energy has got to be like, the life coach is here. Really bring the certainty. Everyone else in the room, especially if it’s a networking event, they’re going to be uncomfortable, but you know how to handle discomfort.

I think one of the biggest things you can do to impact people in social situations is make people feel comfortable. If you’re that person that just makes people feel seen, heard, listened to, I always say, if you want to be the most interesting person in the room, be the most interested in others and let them talk and hear them. And that’s what was impactful, right, with you and your broker.

And yeah, you’ve got to own that you’re interesting. You’ve got to own that you do something cool. You’ve got to own that you are valuable. I love that so much. Okay. I know we’re running out of time, but I want to ask you one more question that I think is really important. What are your thoughts after having built such a successful business in New York after so many years? What are the thoughts you’re telling yourself to be willing to put in the effort to start again?

Because I know a lot of clients right now who have made a lot of money, but what happened in the coaching industry in 2022, and this is maybe for more higher end like earners, this last conversation, but if they were running ads or there was an algorithm thing that was working, iOS made an update in 2022 that made it a lot harder to get seen, ads to be a lot more expensive, and the climate shifted. Like even Google did a study that said people are buying differently, so they require more touch points. They require seeing the offer a lot more times before they buy.

And there’s a lot of feelings of like coming off of like the COVID era where people were throwing money around and trying to solve problems with money and being really open to try new things and being open to a new way of living because they were home and they were like, oh, I want to stay home or because they were like, oh, I realized suddenly my job wasn’t as secure as I thought it was. So I’m going to jump in and I’m going to become a coach or I’m going to get coaching because I need help with this. Or there was just like everyone sitting at home with all eyeballs on the internet thing happening. Right.

And so even for me, I had to kind of like readjust. just after that happening and becoming a mom at the same time and how obsessed I am with Jackson. And so I have been really coaching a lot of people on their thoughts about having to work hard again. And so this was something when we were talking that I really was like Sam needs to tell everybody what her thoughts are that are having her willing to do the hard work of starting again. So I would love to know your thoughts on that.

Sam: Yeah. Staying motivated is really hard and getting re-motivated is hard. I would say a couple of things on that. One, there’s a time for everything, right? So if you’re not ready to bust your butt right now, that’s okay. Start thinking about it. Know that the time is coming if it’s what you really want, but everything is hard work, right?

You didn’t get that first COVID boost, that big high earner moment. It probably didn’t come overnight. Maybe it came to fruition quickly because the times were primed for it. But there is always money out there. There are always clients out there. And if you want them badly enough, it’s almost like you get psyched for the challenge?

Stacey: For one of the things I’ve been doing is just remembering how much fun it was when I first started my business and being excited about putting that kind of work back into my business again.

Sam: And back to what I said about my husband before, because I meant that as a compliment to him, the way, don’t forget who you are. If you were a kick-ass coach in 2020, 2021, when things were juicy and the money was flowing.

Stacey: But.

Sam: It’s still who you are. Just because the climate has changed and you have this challenge in front of you to sell differently or sell in a new way to new people, it doesn’t mean you’re not still that coach.

It’s been interesting down here because I meet all these people and so many people say to me, oh, my friend is a stylist or like, oh, I shop for my friends and I’m not minimizing it. I have no idea who these people are. Maybe they are really big, maybe they’re not. It doesn’t matter. But I found myself feeling like this weird threat. Like, oh, I’m in a new space and they already know someone who does what I do or like, oh, I’m somehow being minimized to their friend who loves to shop.

But at the end of the day, you have to remember who you are, what you have to offer, why you did this in the first place. And look, it’s a process. You have to just keep going through it. Some days you’re going to wake up and be like, I’m not going to go out and do this today. I don’t have it in me. And hopefully there are enough other days where you’re like, yeah, I got this.

I know that you’ve been super inspired lately. Like, cause I mean your business like in flames everywhere. I have not been super inspired because I was moving and moving trucks and I’m starting school and I don’t know anybody and I’m working on it. But also just remember that you have to chip away.

I see this weird pressured timeline in my head, get business, get clients. And every time I go there, it doesn’t work. Just back it off, meet people, be you, be confident, the business will come. It always Always does. Answer your phone.

Stacey: You get your stride back.

Sam: Answer your phone.

Stacey: Yup. Yup. It’s so good.

Sam: Yeah. Sometimes you just take a minute. Your inspiration will come.

Stacey: Yeah. The last thing I’ll say, I’ll add to the conversation, is I think you have to set your ego aside. I’m sure that’s going to be required of you a little bit and it’s being required of me a little bit. It’s being required of everyone I know.

If one thing was working and one thing was amazing and you were at the top of your game and then something happened, it’s going to require ego or entitlement. Some people get really entitled to this was supposed to be easier, this was easier. And I know I struggle with that a lot now that I have Jackson. And I’ve really worked on that.

And I always tell people when they see my launches and they’re like, I just can’t believe how much you sell, how much you show up when you don’t have to do that. And I’m like, because I approach everything as if I do have to do that. I don’t think people realize how hard I have to work to sell in my launches, like how much I show up for them, because I believe that that is going to be required every single time.

And typically, there’s my initial plan, and then there’s 10 times more than I expected that I have to do on the back end when we’re actually in an opening. I’m showing up way more than I anticipated, and I’m having to figure that out too. So I think that requires like releasing ego, releasing entitlement, and just like being in the joy of like, I don’t think these moments of grind or these moments of like really digging in and rebuilding or building again or building whatever it is, it’s like we get these moments one time, we got to enjoy them.

Sam: Yes. And you know, something like that happened to me literally this morning. A brand that I’ve worked with a lot in New York is also down here. I had a call with them. They want to bring me on for a job in two weeks. And the rate is lower than New York. It’s probably like 15 or 20% less than what the same company pays up north.

And as I’m on the phone with her and she’s asking me if we can make it work, of course I first countered, you know, is there wiggle room? But I said to her, if not, I’m just going to be really transparent with you. I want to build a relationship. We haven’t met yet. And I know that this is going to go really well, but if we don’t work together, I’m not going to get to show you that. So if you have the wiggle room in the budget, that’s awesome. And if you don’t let me know.

And I don’t usually do that in my negotiating. I don’t usually do this like dance, but I want to do it. I want to do this job because I know that I will be valuable to them and I know they’ll use me again. And if I work for them X days in a year, we’ll figure out the money. This can’t be about only the money because it’s not. And I think just remembering that, like, let me get in there, let me show you how it’s going to go. So.

Stacey: That’s so good. I love it. like the gem of the whole podcast. Okay. I know you have to go get pip. And so I want to honor your time.

So this has been such an awesome hour to spend with you. And I’m so grateful for your time. How can people reach out if they are looking for a stylist? Cause I know the first time I was on, we had so many of my listeners reach out to you and be like, Oh, I need a stylist. So how can they do that? Or if they just want to follow you and they want to just be inspired by you, how can they do that?

Sam: Well , thank you for having me on. So my Instagram is @SamanthaBrownStyle. My website is also SamanthaBrownStyle.com. I work with people in person and remotely, whatever works. We’ve.

Stacey: Done a couple of closet Zooms.

Sam: Yes. It’s so great to be on here. Thank you for having me on. I could talk to you all day.

Stacey: Seriously, for real. I love it. Well, thank you so much and give Pip the biggest hug and kiss from her boyfriend and from me.

Sam: For those of you that don’t know, our kids are getting married. They’re only two, but we’re going to figure that out.

Stacey: Yeah, we’re going to make it happen. Thanks for having me.

Sam: All right. You’re so welcome. Thank you. Bye.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program. Where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part, using my simple five-step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to www.StaceyBoehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.