Ep #310: Developing Your Sales Identity

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2k, 20k, and 200k using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 310. Today we’re going to talk about developing your sales identity and I’m just going to warn you, I’m really fired up. So, I’m going to talk probably pretty fast, going to have to keep up. I just got off of a full day of coaching in my programs. I was coaching the revenue challenge today and then I coached 200k Mastermind. And sometimes I have time in my schedule and flexibility in my schedule and so I just go over on calls, and we just keep coaching, and the vibe just stays high and we get to as many people as possible.

And then sometimes that gets me in a really jazzy mood and that’s where I’m at. But I wanted to share with you some coaching that I just gave one of my 200k Mastermind students. And I’m going to give you some stories too to help solidify this coaching. But it was such a powerful coaching that I was like, “This is what everybody needs to hear, but not just in this room, everyone needs to hear this because it could change your life.” And I want to offer that this is, I think, my work. This is what I specialize in. This is my jam.

If you ever work with me, this is the kind of thing you’re going to get. So, I’m going to just give you the setup, the circumstance, the coaching that my client brought. So, she was telling me how she just got 26 consults. I know that some of you all are like, “What?” That’s what we do in 200k. So, she just got 26 consults and she was telling me how this has happened before and a lot of the consults, they come and they’re cold leads, they’ve never heard of her before.

She posts an ad in a group and then someone reads the ad and goes to her sales page and then signs up for a consult and then they come, and they’ll say things like, “I just found you. I don’t even know. This might be premature. I don’t even know if I’m really ready.” Kind of non-committal energy in the beginning of the call. And she was saying that her close rate is 30%, which is by the way, still freaking phenomenal. I didn’t even think to say that in the coaching, but I will say this here. A 30% close rate is way above what industry considers standard.

Now, the reason people tend to think it’s not good is because when you work with me ongoing, your close rate tends to be much higher. It can be in the 60s, in the 70s, in the 80s. I tend to create a lot of people having high conversion rates because of the way I feel about selling and my thoughts about selling.

So, the conversation was, “I’m only closing 30% of the leads so, I should really work on my strategy for warming them up before and after they do consults with me because they’re not closing. So should I start doing webinars and what should my strategy on webinars be and how else can I warm these people up?” And I took the coaching in a completely different direction. I said, “What if you just closed those people better? What if you just thought about closing them at a higher rate? What if it went from 30% to 50%, what would have to happen?”

And based on what I had heard from my student, what I knew was happening is, she’s like, “Well, but they come to the call and they’re immediately, or even if I do an amazing call and they just tell me, “Oh, I need more warming up.” And so, they just come with this energy of, I don’t think I’m even really supposed to be on this consult and I signed up, and now I’m having second thoughts, maybe it’s too soon.” So, one of the things I noticed when I was coaching her is they were bringing this energy and this thought, the way I call it the model, this thought model, this way of thinking.

And early on in my career, I heard this statement, it’s so powerful. Two people are having a conversation and someone’s selling someone on something and someone’s buying. So, someone’s selling and someone’s buying in any conversation ever. Even if you’re having a conversation with a friend, and you’re like, “Where should we go to dinner?” You both have different ideas of where you can go. Someone’s selling and someone’s buying. The strongest energy in the room wins. The strongest thought model in the room wins.

Not I’m going to overpower you in your energy, it’s the most certain energy wins. The most confident energy wins. The most fun, playful energy wins. And if you go to start testing this in your life, you will see this to be true. So, if I am selling and I know that someone is selling and someone is buying, I want to be mindful of that. So, if someone shows up to a call with me, they’re selling me on I’m not ready, I need more warming up. I don’t even know why I showed up to this call. I probably should think about it for a while.

They’re selling me this. Am I buying it or am I staying in my sales identity, am I selling that we don’t need warming up? That we don’t need time. It’s perfect that you are here right now. There’s a reason you’re meant to be here. Who’s selling who? The way that I like to think about it is, no one’s coming on a call with me. No one’s coming on a webinar with me and I’m stepping out of my identity. No one can say anything to me that makes me change my energy, my day, the way that I think. No one’s changing the value I give.

No one’s changing the energy that I bring, the belief that I carry. No one’s changing that. It doesn’t matter what they say. And I love to be very fun and cheeky and powerful and confident. These are the things I like to be on consults. So, I would not let it impact me if someone said that. I would still deliver the same value. And I’ve done a podcast episode about this before where I talk about becoming the person who gives the same amount of value regardless of how someone shows up to a consult.

So, for example, if someone came to me and said, “I’m going to start the call off and just let you know immediately, I have 16 cents in my account. I can’t pay you. I cannot hire you. I’m not going to hire you, but you said you do free consults so I want a free consult. I want some free coaching.”

Then what I’m going to do is be like, “Alright, well, if you’re not going to work with me then I only have one session to change your life. So, if you are willing, I’ll do it, but I’m going to be extra hard. I’m going to not hold back anything. I’m going to say the bluntest thing. We only have an hour, so I’ve got to make sure that I’m meticulous and impeccable with my words and I’m not going to pussyfoot around anything. Let’s go.” That’s me saying, “I’m not going to let the fact that you don’t have money keep me from being the person who gives a transformation.”

So, I told this story, and I think this is really valuable because my client just happened to be someone who used to sell high-end artwork. And so, I asked her these two questions. And I said, “Did anyone ever come in looking like a hobo and then buying thousands or even millions of dollars of art from you?” As she said, “Oh my God, yes, I remember the CFO of Apple came in. I had a feeling and then I Googled it. It was him, but he was wearing Birkenstocks, and he was dressed a little bit like a hobo.”

And I was like, “Okay, great. So, you’ve had people that came in that looked a little homeless, looked a little rough, did not look like they had money, but you sold them tons and tons of money,” of whatever the words I’m thinking of, very, very expensive artwork. And she was like, “Yes.” And I was like, “And did you ever work with colleagues that maybe wouldn’t have even bothered with that type of person?” And she goes, “Oh, yes.”

And I was like, “Okay. So, this is what you want to think about is you don’t know how someone’s walking in the store. You don’t know based on what they look like, how much money they have.” And so, I told this story, I said, one time I went to New York and my stylist at the time, I’ve had her on the podcast several times. She just relocated to Miami, but she built a celebrity stylist business in New York, and she has all the New York connections.

So, if you ever want to go shopping with her in New York, you can get appointments at Chanel, you can get Louis Vuitton. I think she’s even had Chanel shut down before for a client, that kind of influence in New York. I get to go shopping at the Saks Fifth Avenue Club with her that you only get certain access for this type of thing. And so, when I go to New York and she’s in New York with me, I make an appointment at one of my favorite places to shop at. You all have heard me talk about Dior.

And I am the type of Dior client who gets Christmas gifts from them because I spend so much money with them or I used to, I don’t as much anymore. But I used to spend so much money with them, I’ve had them ship entire lines, their entire ski collection to me for free and let me try it on in my closet and send it back whenever I’m ready, that type of client relationship with them. I tell you this because it’s an important part of the story.

So, I have an appointment to go shop in Dior, my stylist is going to be there. I’m going to get the creme de la creme treatment. And I’m with my son who was a baby at the time, and something happened, and we just couldn’t make the appointment. I think there was a nap scheduled that was off or something, but I messaged her, and I was like, “I’m really sorry, but I’m just not going to be able to make this appointment.” So, she’s like, “No problem, we’ll tell them that you’re not coming and that you might pop in later. “And so, I told her, “Yeah, if I can pop in later, I’ll just pop in on my own. I just don’t think an appointment’s going to work.”

So, a couple of days later, my son is taking a nap, and my husband says, “If you want to run to Dior,” we’re staying at the Amman, which is the top most expensive hotel you can stay at in New York. And we’re staying at the Amman and it’s literally two blocks from the Dior. And he says, “Why don’t you go pop into Dior while he’s napping, I’ll stay and watch him, go have fun.” Sometimes when you’re a mom, sometimes you’ve just got to go, whatever you’re dressed and however you are, it’s make your move or it’s not happening.

So, I’m wearing Lululemons, I don’t even know if I’d showered yet, no makeup on, hair in a ponytail, workout shirt on, tennis shoes, nothing glam. However, I’m wearing a Dior crossbody, and I’m stacked with Cartier jewelry, stacked. So, if someone were paying attention and if someone were looking, they would see I have the type of money to be shopping in Dior. But I walked in, no one said hi to me, no one offered to help me. And in fact, the store reps would walk by me and go help other people who were dressed better.

But I’m the type of person that would buy four or five bags sometimes in a sitting or I might buy clothes and a bag and shoes. No one helped me. I walked around the entire store, took photos of the things that I liked, felt so disinterested by people not paying attention to me that I left, texted my stylist and said, “Send these things to my house. I’ll just try them on in my house. I didn’t get very good treatment at the store, and I left, the vibe wasn’t right. I don’t feel like spending money today with them.”

And this is a really important lesson, we do this on consults. They show up in their energy, their metaphorical energy of no makeup, their hair in a bun, in workout clothes, looking like a hobo. That’s what I always say. I have two vibes, homeless or fancy clan. So, they show up that way with their energy and the things that they say, and then you just decide, it’s not happening. Either they don’t have the money or they’re not ready and they’re not warm, they’re not going to buy. And then you ever so slightly adjust your energy, your belief, your confidence, how you show up.

And I think that this is a big mistake and it’s not just a conversion mistake because sometimes people won’t have money like the first example I gave. Some people just need the vibe to be right, the energy to be right. They need to be sold, and they need to be sold by you, not you buying what they’re selling. They need to step into your model, your belief system, your energy and that’s the shift for them. They need your confidence, but some people just really don’t have the money and it’s not about the conversion in that moment.

In that moment, it’s who do you want to be always, do you want to deliver some level of service and value? You only deliver it based on their ability to pay you. Do you want to be that person? How does being that person impact you always? How does it impact your results? For me, I’m not willing to ever step out of my confidence, my belief, my identity, which is that I always sell, I’m hugely valuable. I don’t need you to be warm. You could be cold.

You could find me in an instant and we could do a webinar or a training or have one conversation or do a one-on-one. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to have any degree of warmth from me, in order for me to sell you an outcome that you want and to be able to deliver you massive amounts of value. If I have 20 minutes, I’m going to nail it. That’s my identity. That is the way I think about myself as a salesperson and because of that, I own every second of the way my day looks and feels. I own how I feel on a webinar, even if no one’s engaging.

I own how I feel on a Facebook live. I can’t see any comments, or I can’t see how many people are showing up or no one’s showing up. I own the value that I deliver as just this is who I am. Every conversation I have is valuable because to me it’s not about the one person that either closes or doesn’t. It’s all the results that I create because I show up that way consistently all of the time.

So I was telling her, “If you become the person who is unbothered and you don’t step out of your identity, you imagine these people that show up and they tell you they’re cold and they’re not even sure why they would show up, do a consult and maybe it wasn’t even right for them to sign up and maybe you guys shouldn’t have the call. If that’s the thing they’re saying to you at the beginning of the call, what if you imagined that that person was a rich person dressed as a hobo?”

Energetically, what if you thought of it like that because then every interaction you have, you are reinforcing that you give value. You are reinforcing your confidence. You are reinforcing who you are, and you don’t let anybody or any result influence you out of that. Now, is it a perfection? No. Is it something you do every day? No. But I think the more that we work on this, the better you get at this is, outside circumstances don’t change my identity of who I want to be and the value that I give, the more limitless you become in your ability to create money and your ability to impact people, your ability to affect results with people.

It’s just who I am. I had someone, I just did a five-day training on my five steps to make 200k and I had someone come in and she was like, “Hey, listen, I haven’t made any money. Maybe I’m not in the right place.” And I was like, “Hey, listen, stay here if you want, if it’s engaging and it’s valuable and it feels really good and you want to be in my space, stay here. And also, here’s this training that would also help you make your first dollars.” And I went back and forth and had a conversation with her, and I treated her like any other student in that training.

That is just who I am. No one takes me out of my identity. Their ability to pay, their interest in paying, their level of exposure to me, I don’t decide that those things create a chain reaction where I withhold energy or connection. And this is the thing I think was actually happening for my client is, I was telling her when she hears that they’re cold and they’re not warm and she hears them express doubt, I think it impacts her connection. She starts disconnecting from them. She just does the consult differently than she would do.

I said, “What would be the energy and how would you run the consult if the person came on the call and said, “Listen, I’ve been dying to work with you. I’ve been saving up the money, now’s the time. I really just wanted to do this as a formality. Make sure your prices are the same. Here are the details, but I’m in. I’m ready to go. This is for me.” What would be the energy level you would bring to that call versus the person who said, “Well, maybe this isn’t right for me and maybe this is too soon. I guess I should just stay in your world for a while. I think I need to think about this a little bit longer.””

When someone says that to you and you adjust your energy, what happens? Versus if you didn’t adjust your energy and you treated them the exact same as the person who said, “I’ve been setting aside money and I’ve been following you for a while and I’m ready and I want to do this.” Because it’s really not about the conversion itself. It’s about who you become.

So, I was telling her, “If you become this person who doesn’t change how you show up to sell based on someone’s level of warm or coldness, then you probably are going to convert more of those people than just 30%. If 30% are converting, then why wouldn’t 60% be able to convert?” But also, being that person gives you more energy and with that more energy, you probably are going to create some webinars and you’re probably going to do those webinars better because then it’s not going to matter if people show up to your webinars either.

Those are going to be super valuable and then your posts are going to be more valuable and then everywhere you show up gets more valuable. Then you’re more valuable to your clients on your calls. And so, for me, it’s this infinite long-term impact, I want to give value the same. I know I’ve said this on a podcast before, but I want to give the same amount of value to everyone, whether I think they’re going to buy from me or not. That’s the energy, that’s the vibe, that’s the mindset, that’s the identity.

And I also believe my sales identity is I am in charge of creating the value and I can do it in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes. If you can’t do that, what would it take to embody, I want to be the type of person that no matter how cold someone is that finds me on a consult, I know that it’s me. It doesn’t matter how they’re feeling, my confidence, my energy, the things I say. I’m going to create such an impression that they want to work with me at the end.

So, I gave this story that I think is also really helpful to hear this. I once had, I was in Biloxi, Mississippi and I was on a military base, and I was selling a product, I think it was slicers or knives or something. And I had this woman come up in between shows and she said, “I want to watch your next show. I want to be right front and center but I’m not going to buy from you. I never buy on these presentations. I love to watch them but I’m not buying from you. I just need you to know, I’m not buying anything.”

And I said, “Great, let’s go. Be at my next show. Wait when you hear my announcement. I’ll save you a seat.” And sure enough, not just her, her and her husband took up the entire front row of my show. And the front row was always your top opportunities to close people because they were just the closest proximity to you, and they were the people that you did your whole show to. And I did not decide, great, this show was ruined because these two people who aren’t going to buy are in the front of my show and they’re taking up the whole space.

I said, “No, I do the same show regardless of who shows up. My show is for me. I do this the same level every single time.” This woman bought five of the products from me. She bought gifts for all of her children. She said, “I never do this. This was an amazing show. You totally sold me. I want five. Five, not one, five.” That’s it. That’s when you don’t let other people step you out of your identity. You’re like, “Great. You don’t plan on buying? Perfect. Let me show you what I can do.”

You don’t think that this is the right time, what’s the thing inside of you that made you sign up? The logical part of your brain might say that you’re not warm enough and you’re not ready and this was maybe a waste of time. But there’s also a part of you that saw the ad, read my sales page, signed up for a consult and then showed up to it. I’m interested in talking to this person. Let’s go. Let’s find out what that’s about. Let’s take that a little more seriously.

How many other places in your life are you saying that your energy isn’t really there, but your actions show differently? Where else are you taking subtle actions towards something that you want but not taking it to this level of seriousness? These are the things, listen, it’s okay that you just found me. It doesn’t change the desire for your outcome. It doesn’t change how bad you want to create this outcome. It doesn’t change what’s possible for you. It doesn’t change what’s possible for us in this conversation. How would you be approaching this conversation if you felt ready?

What if we just did it from that place since we’re both here? Let’s not waste either of our time. Let’s go. I would say these things, you all. I’m a little cheeky. I’m a little fiery. I like to have fun. I like to poke fun. I like to not be so serious and heavy about it, but I also like to call people on their stuff. I don’t believe their stuff.

I don’t let that impact me because if I do then I’m operating in their model, not mine. And I don’t want to be operating in the model of the person who’s like, “I’m not sure why I showed up here and I don’t know that I’m ready and this might be a waste of time,” because I don’t waste my time. That’s not who I am. What if you thought about that, really for every single consult you do?

Because I also know sometimes you all get overwhelmed by how many consults you have, especially if you keep hearing no’s and then you kind of go on autopilot with them. But what if your identity as a salesperson was, I never waste my time and I never have a conversation that I’m not fully engaged with. And I never sell unless the energy’s right, so I create the energy to be right with every sales situation I’m in.

So, if immediately someone comes on the call and the energy isn’t right, I fix that first. I address that first. I don’t keep going. I don’t just say, “Alright, well, let me take you through the wheel. Let me take you through the consultation process. Let’s go through it anyways and see what we’ve got and then at the end you can think about it and then we’ll circle back when you are ready.” No.

The identity I hold is I sell powerfully. The hour with me is a life-changing transformation and I’m not going to do it unless we’re committed to doing it. You don’t have to say yes. You don’t have to tell me you’re going to buy before we get started, but we’re going to address this wishy-washy energy first. It doesn’t even have to be serious. It can be so much fun. So, they’re like, “Oh, I just found you.” Yeah, a lot of people find me and then this is it.

It’s like the moment you meet the guy you’re supposed to marry or the woman you’re supposed to marry. It’s like falling in love. It’s like finding your coach. That’s the feeling. There’s something that brought you on this call. There’s something that wants you to be a yes. Readiness is a state of mind. What if we just decided you’re ready and at least do this call from the place of you’re ready.

So, I might tell them, “Listen, what if you just decided for the next hour that you are ready? We take this conversation seriously because you took the time to read the ad, go to the sales page, sign up for the consult and show up to it. So, something about you is ready because you took all of those actions. So, what if we explored that version of you, we took this more seriously than you plan to anticipate. We decided to have fun with it, and you let me give you all that I’ve got instead of creating a caveat at the beginning of this conversation that maybe makes me not give you all that I’ve got.”

Because the hours that I spend with people on the phone, I give it everything. So, if you’re willing to get everything, then I want to give you everything. What if we just tried that for an hour? Let’s see where we go. Let’s see what happens. If we took your dreams and yourself really seriously for one hour and we didn’t say you weren’t ready, and we just see what happens and how you feel. There’s no obligation. Let’s give it our all if we’re both here. This is an hour of our lives. Let’s make it worth it.

That’s the type of energy, but that’s for me, that’s the way I want to be. I’m not going to spend an hour being wishy-washy and I don’t want you to be either. I don’t want you to spend an hour thinking you’re selling expensive artwork to a hobo.

I want you to be like, “I’m selling expensive artwork to someone who probably dresses up all day every day and, on their day off, they don’t feel like it. Or I’m dressing up with someone who doesn’t care about clothes because their brain is so smart. That’s all they think about is, they wear the same thing every day, like Steve Jobs. I don’t want to think about clothes. I want to think about innovation, but I’m going to choose a thought that makes me engage with this conversation or this person, the same as I would the person who walks in dolled up, wearing designer things, and it’s really evident that they have money and it’s really evident they’re going to buy from me.”

Let’s just decide I’m the person that makes it evident that people buy from me because I always deliver a high level of value in a small amount of time because it’s who I am. And if that isn’t where you are yet, let’s work towards that. Listening to this podcast, following me on social media, any container that you ever decide to take with me, whether it’s an entrepreneur series course, or 2k for 2k or 200k Mastermind or 2 Million Dollar Group, it doesn’t matter. This is the space that I’m going to hold. This is the energy that I bring.

I want to offer it changes your entire life and business when this is the energy you bring too. So, if you don’t have this sales identity, let’s develop it, but this is where all the magic is. Doesn’t matter if people are ready or have the money or plan to make a purchase. I am the one that influences the decision based on the value I give and the excitement I create and the desire that I ignite in other people. The way they feel being in my container, the way that they feel being around me, the conversation they have.

Seriously, my very first life coach, I had a 15-minute conversation with her in a grocery store. And she didn’t decide, well, this is just a conversation with a colleague in a grocery store. This isn’t the right vibe. No, she was like, “I take myself everywhere I go.” This is what I mean when I say that. I’m a powerful coach, I take myself everywhere I go. Into every conversation, I take my whole heart with me, my whole connection with me, my whole belief system with me, my entire identity. I take all of my skills with me.

No one shows up to tell me how much effort I’m going to put into it and what tools I’m going to give and what I’m going to withhold and what I’m not going to withhold. I stay in me with who I am. And if someone’s selling and someone’s buying in every conversation, the most confident certain person is the one that’s going to be selling and the other person’s going to be the person buying. And that’s true even for me as the salesperson. The coaches that I choose to work with, I want them to be that person for me. It’s not a manipulative thing.

I’m going to buy from the person who’s certain they can help me. I’m looking for that level of certainty when I talk about my business problems or my life problems, I’m looking for that level of certainty. I respond really well to that certainty. When I am on a coaching call and a coach is giving that level of certainty, I get all the feelings through my body and I’m a very strong hell yes. So, I also know how it feels on the other end. They might come feeling a little meh, but I want them to leave ignited with every ounce of their body.

Alright, that’s my episode for you all today. I hope you have an amazing week. I will talk to you next week. Bye bye.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part, using my simple five step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.