Here on the podcast, I’ve talked a lot about how to make money, but I want to cover some topics around how we think about money because our thoughts about money can truly change everything for us. So, I want to start with one thing I see so many new coaches, and all kinds of people, falling victim to. And that is your thoughts about rich people.
Before I got into coaching, I know that for the longest time, I used to despise rich people. I thought that they neglected their families, they had to tread on people to get their money, and that they were taking my money and I got nothing in return. And so many people believe the same things. But the truth is, believing rich people are terrible isn’t going to help you when you want to start making more money yourself.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover how our negative thoughts about rich people stop us from reaching our true potential as coaches and entrepreneurs. I’m sharing the thoughts about wealth that I hear, including what people say about me, and what I discovered when I started to unwind my thoughts about rich people always being bad.
Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Hey coaches, welcome to episode 85. So, I have a money mastery course inside 2K for 2K and people are always talking about how amazing the course is when they take it. They’re supposed to take it after they’ve gone through the 2K process later, or if they’ve joined and they’re really struggling with money beliefs, especially in the beginning, it’s there as a bonus. It’s a great course.
And I’ve been thinking about how – and I think I’ve told you this before on the podcast – that I’ve realized that my podcast is called Make Money as a Life Coach, but I haven’t really addressed a lot of money beliefs and discussions about money itself. I spend a lot of time teaching you how to create it, but not how to manage it and think about it and use it and have it.
And that’s because – I heard this once and it profoundly and deeply impacted me way before I ever started coaching business – Grant Cardone talked about, in one of his audiobooks, he said that you never have a money going out problem, you always have a money coming in problem. And I think this is actually also a podcast for another day, the difference on focusing on the money you have going out, trying to save money, trying to save less, trying to spend less and trying to really manage your money in order to create wealth versus just focusing on how to create more money.
And how to create more money solves so many of your other problems. It solves spending issues. It solves having issues. It solves management issues. Just have more money. It’s just a lot of other money issues are so much easier. So, I spend a lot of time teaching you how to create money because it’s the one problem that you can solve for that makes all the other problems easier, or just not even a problem anymore.
So, I really do stand by that. But I have been thinking a lot about wanting to spend more time teaching you about how to think about it and use it and have it, money itself, just the circumstance of money or the result of money, the topic of money. So, I’m going to spend a lot more time dedicating podcasts to this topic.
So, today, we’re going to talk about thoughts about rich people. And I love how I recently did a podcast – if you haven’t listened to it yet, you better hurry up – on the 10-minute 2.5K sale. And I talked about being in Vegas and buying three really fancy bags. And when I launched that podcast, I had this thought that when I talk about the money I spend or have or the things that we have, sometimes people get upset with me and we hear about it.
And so, I had this thought when I submitted it to my producer, like, “I hope this goes over well.” I ultimately made the decision to release it no matter what. But here’s what I have to say. I released that podcast a couple of weeks ago and the reaction from my community really charged me up and got me really excited for all of the money discussions that we’re going to have on the podcast from here moving forward.
I’m just so proud of my 2K people in general. I feel like they manage their mind at such a high level and they have such – because it’s the only thing we’re ever talking about, making money and creating money and selling and all the things that are sometimes taboo, or are not addressed, you know, when you don’t have a community that’s only focused on that, I think we spend so much time unwinding all of the thoughts that could create limiting beliefs around money. And what I should say is limiting reactions around other people having money.
We spend so much time doing that. And what ended up happening is people went like, “What, you bought three expensive purses?” We started a thread of all of the possibility and everybody’s goals and what they wanted to buy. I didn’t start this thread. Somebody else started this thread. But all the things they wanted to buy with the money they made coaching. Some people were saying they were purse people and they were just freaking out about the podcast. Other people were like, “I’m not a purse person, but I loved the selling part of the podcast and this is what I like to spend my money on.”
People were posting pictures of their favorite purses or their dream purse and they were asking me to post photos. And it ended up just becoming this vision board post on 2K and it was so fun to just scroll and see all of the beautiful things that people want to buy with their money and the beautiful goals that they have and how well they really receive a rich person talking about spending money.
That reaction doesn’t happen very often in the online space. And so, I just have to say, shoutouts. If you’re in 2K, I’m so proud of y’all. You are really stepping it up with your money thoughts and your reactions to other people having money and you just really soaked in not only the message that I conveyed about selling, but also just the experience that I had and you turned that into something you really wanted and allowed yourself to get really excited about it.
I’m just so proud of my community. I love that we can have money conversations like this and everybody can be impacted by that. And you guys are going to hear why today on the podcast. So, let’s dive in. Here is why your thoughts about rich people matter.
A lot of us have some really negative thoughts about rich people. We think they are bad, morally compromised, and we then associate money as a result of being morally compromised, and compromising morals and values is the manner to which the bad people got their money. And then the things they do with their money are, of course, all the things that reflect their lack of values, for example, buying fancy purses, flying on private jets. I have a story for y’all later about that.
And when you think this way, when you think that rich people are bad, having a lot of money means you’re morally compromised, that you have to do morally compromised things and compromise your values to get money, when you believe these things, when you think this way, it really deeply affects your relationship with the money you do have and your ability to make it, to feel good making it, to feel good having more of it, and to feel good spending it, the money you have now and the money that you create.
When you think money only comes, for example, from selling someone against their will, which is what we see a lot of people fear when they come into 2K, when you think that selling coaching will take someone’s money. A lot of you think that. That you are morally compromised for charging, or for spending money, or for even just having lots of money in your account.
When you think having more creates less for others, again, when you think making money will require you to compromise your family values and time with your loved ones, here’s what will happen; you will not be in a hurry to figure out how to make money, how to sell coaching. You will fear spending money, investing money. It will appear to you, especially if you believe rich people are taking money from the poor, you will feel taken advantage of when you buy things from people like coaches.
Have you listened to Bad Program PTSD? Go back and listen to it. And you will find a way to prove that true, that people are taking advantage of you, by looking for lots of evidence. And if you look for it, you will find it, even if it isn’t there. Your brain will just interpret it to be there and you will keep yourself from creating any kind of wealth.
So, you must, if you want to make money as a life coach, work on your thoughts about other people’s money and your thoughts about you making money, spending money, and having money as a person, as where you are really, where you are now, and as a person who has wealth.
So, in this podcast, I’m going to talk to the person who might be like me for just a second, who grew up in an environment where wealth maybe seemed impossible, and maybe even wrong. But I will say, I also find that once you hit a certain income level, this comes up for everyone, thoughts about being rich, even if you’ve had money in your upbringing, this is going to come up. But this was not the case for me. I grew up lower-middle class.
The thoughts I grew up from my family and friends were, I’ve summed them up to about four belief systems. Rich people are bad Inconsiderate was really the terminology, I think that was more accurate, inconsiderate, self-centered, selfish, you know, would step on others to get ahead, or pompous assholes. That’s a term I would hear from my dad. They didn’t value family. They worked hundreds of hours a week. And they probably did something bad or sacrificed their soul, their morals to get ahead.
The perfect example of this is I wanted to be an actress. Like, I went to college for theatre. And the thought that I think was always there that I thought was just the truth and never even questioned, it was just like reporting the news, and it was the thought that had me never seriously going all in like my life depended on it on making that dream happen, was the thought that the only way you could be a rich successful actress would you would have to sleep with a producer or you would have to do lots of nudity.
Like, did that kind of stuff happen? Probably of course. Was it the only way? Did every single Hollywood actress ever sleep their way to success? Of course not. But it really kept me from not even – like I think back to being in college and it never even occurred to me to make it. Really, I remember towards my senior year thinking, “Okay, so what am I actually going to do with my life?” Because I never even really considered, I’m like, “Of course, I’m not going to make it as an actress. I’m not willing to do those horrible things and sacrifice my soul.
The other thing that I do feel like – it’s not in my like top four beliefs, but something that really happened a lot and showed up in my young adult life, once I had to start paying for my own things, once I became financially independent, was feeling really like a victim to rich people. Like, they have money and power over me.
So, I never wanted to pay my bills. Like, the credit card people, landlords, they didn’t need the money. I did. It wasn’t fair that they got all my money, never mind that they didn’t make me spend the money or sign up for the apartment. But I just always remember being like, “No, they’ll get their money when they get it. I need the money way more than them.”
And deep down, I just didn’t want to hold any responsibility for managing money because of all these beliefs on top of each other of how horrible rich people are. And I think a lot of that happened at a deeper level in my subconscious, but I was just always trying to get rid of the money. So, when I started my business, I really had to work on these thoughts. And one of the best ways that I grew out of a lot of these is really looking for the opposite to be true, looking for how rich people were serving the world, how they were generous. I even decided that their presence created value for me by seeing them as an example of what’s possible.
I used to actually thank people driving nice cars, in my head, I started this practice, this little game anytime I saw a nice car. And I would wonder with curiosity and eventually, like, appreciation, how they might have made their money. And I used to try to imagine the families inside gigantic houses and I worked on thinking of them with fondness.
But the start really was just seeing how much my thinking about rich people wasn’t even investigated and had no concrete proof or even I had no experiences to back it. And those unfounded perceptions were keeping me poor, like just being aware of that and growing that awareness started growing everything for me.
Another thought that really helped me was thinking about the poor people who I might have had an interaction with who were all the things that I thought about rich people; self-centered, worked all the time, would put someone down to get ahead, have their values and their priorities off. Like, if I looked for that, I could find that in just the people that were around me.
So then, I determined that there might be rich people and poor people who are those things. There might be rich people and poor people who are not those things and maybe money had nothing to do with it. That thought changed everything for me, the idea that money just enhances who you already are.
I also determined, in my work on my thoughts about rich people, that it was never my job to figure out who someone was, if they were bad or good, that everybody was probably a mix of both. If life is 50-50, people must be 50-50. But either way, it was none of my business. So, if I were going to have thoughts about other people, they better be good ones. Because the other thing is, those thoughts reflected back possibility for me. It’s either good possibility or bad possibility, which one are we going to choose? And I chose the good ones.
So, those are just some of the things I unwound on my walks and my long drives, just in my thinking time and in the questioning my beliefs and if they were true and if I could really know that they were true and how would I know they were really true. I just call this process unwinding.
So, these were some of the conclusions as I unwound the ball of thread about rich people. But now, I want to walk you through how I unwound those sort of core beliefs that I carried with me from childhood. So, some of them were just walking around just noticing everything, questioning it, like my brain just going to work in that unwinding. Some of it was that and then some of it was very strategic work that I did with my coach, decisions I had made, and so I’m going to share some of those with you now, with these core beliefs from childhood.
So, the first one that they worked hundreds of hours a week. This one was so big for me. I remember my first year building my business. I was also working fulltime. And I remember complaining to my coach and saying that there was no way I could ever make more money than I’m making now, I’m worked into the ground, like I just cannot work any harder. I’m exhausted. I wasn’t managing my mind around working hard so I felt so miserable in doing it. I was like, I just refuse to work harder. I’m not doing it anymore.
And one of the things that we worked on is the idea of making more money without having worked harder. And I created a mantra. And actually, when you go through the money mastery course in 2K, you will create your own. You’ll go through a money questionnaire. You’ll figure out what your deepest thoughts are that keep you from wanting to even try to make more money.
And then you’ll create a sentence, not really a mantra because I don’t believe in those. It’s more like a sentence that you will go out and work to create evidence to prove true. And you’ll learn how to do that.
But the sentence that I created was, “I have the possibility…” because I couldn’t just go to – actually, I’ll just tell you the sentence and then I’ll talk about it, “I have the possibility of making $78,000…” I don’t remember why that number, but, “$70,000 without the feeling of having worked harder.”
So, we chose the word possibility because I couldn’t get to the place in my brain yet of, “I will make $78,000 without the feeling of having worked harder.” And so, we put possibility in there to allow myself to say it with more truth. So, I have the possibility of making $78,000 dollars without the feeling of having worked harder.
We also added the feeling of having worked harder because one of the things that I really unwound with this sentence is that working hard is just a thought. What? Because I worked sometimes 18 hours per day in the beginning of my business and I loved it. Working hard only sucks when you don’t manage your mind. That’s it.
So, I worked on really knowing that the feeling of working hard only comes from my mind and I get to choose that always. So, I could literally work harder and not feel like I’ve worked harder. That’s an option. And then, I also worked on thinking smarter about sales and not hustling more.
And what’s so fascinating is, after a year of working with that one sentence, I ended up working half the time in my pitching job than I had the year before and making 50% more income, and I made money in my coaching business, and the increase was almost exactly $78,000 more than the year before, which was so fun.
So, here’s the other one, that rich people don’t value family. This one, I think, stuck with me for a while. I actually went to Miami on a VIP experience with one of my clients and then one of her clients. And we got invited – I don’t even remember how this really happened. I think I was calling around to find yachts to see if we could rent a yacht. We couldn’t find one. Then I talked to a guy and I was telling him who I am and what I did.
And he was like, “You know, I don’t have a yacht that you can rent. I’m not renting mine out since it’s 4th of July, but you can come with us.” He just invited us to come on his yacht with his family. And I’m the kind of person that does that shit.
I’m like, this could go bad. It’s fine, yacht with a stranger, I’m in. So, we went. And what’s so interesting is they had young kids, this couple, and I was watching the dad who was clearly the one that worked and had the money, like, he was talking to me about business. And he was, like, really, really engaged with his children. And I remember watching him hug his kid and he was playing around with the little boy.
And I remember thinking, “Oh my god, I’m shocked that this rich guy is so involved with his kids.” And it made me realize that I really deeply believed that rich people don’t value time with their family and they don’t spend time with their kids and they ignore their kids. Like, all of the thoughts came up in my awareness of what I believed.
Here, for this one, I will say the awareness, it just left. As soon as I was aware that I was thinking that, I just let it go. I didn’t even need to practice unwinding it. I didn’t need to think about it. I didn’t have to coach myself on it. I was just like, obviously that’s wrong. That’s not true. I don’t know that.
And so, even though I wasn’t actively working on it, just having awareness of my mind in that moment, I caught it. I like to think of that being the job of building awareness is to catch our shit like this, like our bullshit thinking. Awareness is like a net.
And partly, I will say, I caught this thought because I’m sad to say I was so shocked by it. Like, oh my god, this rich guy loves his kids. What? I’m like, why was I so shocked about that? So, that one really left me almost in an instant. It was like, being in that circumstance, being presented with what was actually the human experience of being rich and having kids, it just left right away.
Okay, so they did something bad, they sacrificed their soul to get ahead, the third thought I deeply believed about rich people. this showed up really in a fear that in order to grow, I would have to sacrifice my clients’ experience and results in order to make more money.
So, I was super-resistant to starting a program, to stop coaching one on one, to get too big and coach too many people. And this thought, I unwound through a decision. I didn’t coach myself a ton on it as much as I just decided. So, always focus as much on my selling as my delivering.
Like, it was almost like the thought was, like, I am in control of this, I get to control it because my thoughts create my results. And now, I teach tis in 200K. This one, I unwound through a decision to always focus as much on my selling as my delivery, and all the thoughts I needed to believe to get my clients better results at every level. Like, realizing that that was in my control.
The number of people we coach doesn’t create our results or theirs. Our thinking does. So, I tried on the belief that the more money I make, the more people I serve, the more results individuals get. Why? Because of my experience level. My teaching gets better, my coaching gets better. I attract better clients. I create it into reality with making it a value and a priority in my business.
Now, once you get this figured out for yourself and start making money, once you really work through these, I would say your deep-seated beliefs about rich people, get ready because there are our own thoughts that we have to battle, and then there are other people’s thoughts that have to battle. And you don’t have to battle them. But in the beginning, I want to prepare you for it because you will make money and people will have thoughts about you making money and having money.
I don’t know if we still do, but we had an ad running for a long time that had a photo of me on a private plane – not my private plane. I was flying with two master coach trainees with my coach. And she had rented the private plane to take us all there. I think we just went from like Dallas to Austin. It wasn’t even a big deal. But it was my first experience on a private plane.
It was so fun. It blew my mind to what’s possible. And I thought, “I have to get this photo out on an ad. And my thought was really like, we see guys in private plans and with fancy cars in ads all of the time but we never see women doing that. And I thought, I want to be an example of what’s possible for that. Like, this experience was amazing, I want to have more experiences like this and I want to let other people know that this experience is possible too.
Like, the little lower-lower class girl from the Midwest, like, it’s possible that you can start there and end up on a private freaking plane. I was so excited about it. And then, this ad got the craziest hate, the craziest commenters on this ad. And one lady in particular, this is specifically what she said, “You are morally compromising women who see this ad and you are promoting materialistic wealth rather than peace and contentment and integrity and responsible financial security.”
So, here’s what I started to do when things like this would start happening is, I would look at their thoughts. Instead of just getting angry at this woman and arguing with her on an ad, I just looked at her thoughts and I was like, what’s she believing here? It was a whole long post that I think I’ve even read before on the podcast.
But I was like, I read through her entire paragraph and I picked out all the thoughts that she was believing. And then I checked them against what I believe. Like, do I believe any of these things? So, one of the things she believed was material things equals irresponsible financial decisions, that money and material things equals a lack of integrity.
She believed that when I’m promoting these things, I’m not promoting contentment and peace. Like, if I promote a woman being on a private plane, I’m not promoting contentment and peace. She also believed that you can’t strive for more and have contentment and peace and that you can’t have money and have contentment and peace. And that I was also promoting that a private plane will make you happy and I was promoting that you should spend above your means.
Like, in her paragraph, these were all the thoughts and beliefs that were laced in. And this was a really interesting one that I uncovered was that she really believed that you could never comfortably afford a private flight. Her assumption was I couldn’t comfortably afford it. And then, I was teaching other people to do things they couldn’t comfortably afford.
She had no idea how much money I had. She had no idea of the situation at all, right? So, then I went through and I decided my beliefs about it. Money comes from value. More women should know wealth is possible for them, because it is. A private plane can never make me happy. I definitely know that. Life is 50-50. You will be unhappy and happy, no matter your circumstance, so you might as well be rich and have nice things along the way.
If I could choose, I would only choose poverty if I believed it made me morally r spiritually superior, and I do not. So why would I not choose to be rich? And the most financially responsible thing you can do is make money and talk about making money. And striving for more has brought me actually more contentment and peace and fulfilment and accomplishment than I ever felt in my entire life. And striving for less made me resentful, angry, depressed, and anxious.
And this is another truth that I discovered with this. I spent a couple of hours coaching myself on this post. It was well worth it. I really got my own value out of her comment. But here’s my truth; my house, which is fabulous, by the way, my car, the vacations I take, the bags I buy, the private jet that I ride on or rent, none of the money that I spent has come before investing, selling, delivering, and having.
I didn’t buy my house until the year that I got close to making a million dollars. We bought it the year I made $860,000. And we didn’t get my car until the year I made a million dollars. Like, I actually had made a million dollars. And I didn’t buy any fancy bags for a very long, long time.
In fact, I was telling my friend recently, I got those three bags but I’ve also only bought three bags total in the last five years. So, I’m like, I feel like I’ve made up for some lost time. But that was because I was busy investing and selling and delivering and having. So, I know that I can spend my money now, because I’ve put in the work and I feel good about it.
Actually, we have decided, my fiancé and I, a couple of weeks ago I decided that we were going to rent a private jet ourselves for the first time ever and go to Jackson Hole with our dogs. And that has been the biggest dream for me is to have enough money that I could rent a private jet to take me somewhere with my dogs and it not be even a financial strain. Like, it’s just like, “Oh yeah…” Like, I want to spend $40,000 on a private jet like it’s $4000 or like it’s $400 on a regular ticket. I want to have that kind of money.
I always said, as my money has grown, nothing really changes except the zero on the end of your money. And it really is true. So, once you have a lot of money, you can spend $4000 like it’s $400, then you can spend $40,000 like it’s $4000. And we’re finally there.
And one of the things that I really thought about this is that money helps me honor my priorities and a private jet helps me honor my priorities. Now, first of all, I just feel like I need to say a caveat. We’re not going to start flying private all the time. We’re going to do it one time this year for a trip I’ve been dreaming about that I really want to take with my doggies and my little family because I value time and it would take us four days to drive there and four days to drive home. and I value time with my family. And I value peace and quiet, so we want to go to the mountains and spend a lot of time just being together.
And I get to do that because I invested, because I spent time selling and I spent time delivering and I spent time having. Like, we’ve just had money sitting in our account all year and it’s been so fun and we haven’t really spent a lot of it, and so, I’ve done that. And so, I feel so clean when I really unwind all of those thoughts, I really want to challenge you to do the same as well.
Okay, so that was one of them that came up for me. That was a big one. I remember coaching myself a lot on that. The other thing that happened is I had a client when I raised my prices from $800 to $1000 a month, so $200 a month, send me this long message. We had worked together for 18 months.
She was like, this is against my values. Essentially, her message was, you’re really out of integrity, I can’t believe you would do this. And in this situation, instead of picking at it, I looked at all of her thoughts. I did do that. And I looked at what my thoughts were. So, I did do that first step.
But then, at the end of the day, I was like, I’m not going to respond to my client the way I would respond to someone on a Facebook ad. And I just allowed her to be wrong about me. I sat with that emotion.
And in the beginning, what came up for me is she’s wrong about me and it’s not okay. So, I didn’t respond to the text. I sat with it. And I waited until I got to the point where I really believed she’s wrong about me and it’s okay. It’s okay that she’s wrong about me. It’s okay that she thinks this about me.
And I sent her such a message of love and I was like, I totally understand and I totally support your decision, and that was it. it was just, like, totally fine after that. I didn’t make her wrong. I didn’t make myself wrong. And so, I really want to encourage you to let every single thought that triggers you help you get clear on what your beliefs are and make decisions for your future and also work on always letting people be wrong about you and it being okay, meaning it doesn’t feel bad for you when other people are wrong about you.
One of the decisions I made is that I get to charge whatever I want and people get to say yes or no. No one ever has to buy from me. And I only want people to buy from me who are a hell yes, that’s a dal. Not people who think I would have to compromise my values to do business with you. That’s the worst. I don’t want anyone working with me from that place. It’s a terrible place to be working with someone.
And then the last example I want to give you is I had a client who believed I was spending her money. She got really angry with me and quit coaching with me when I went to Paris on vacation. Actually, I had gone to Europe for a coaching retreat, but I had decided to go for two weeks before and go to Spain and then to Paris. And she actually said to me the words, “I feel like you’re spending my money and it’s not fair. It’s hard for me to pay you and then you’re just going out and doing all these lavish things with the money and you shouldn’t get to spend my money.”
And I thought about this idea that I was spending her money. And the belief I came up with was, yes, I am. I am spending your money that you paid me. And no, I’m not because what you paid me, it’s my money. I get to do whatever I want with my money. That’s just the way it is.
And then, the decision I made is I will always be honest about my money. I will not hide my love for expensive things. I will not pass on the belief that to be highly spiritual and wise and in integrity you can never spend money or do nice things or have nice things. I will be the example of someone who strives to create value and strives to spend money. What? Yes. I strive to spend money. And I strive to be an example of that.
You don’t have to hoard money and hold onto it with a tight grip. You can believe money is so abundant that you can let some of it go on luxurious things. And the other decision I decided right after that time was, like, how I wanted to spend my money, I started thinking about what my priorities were. and one of the decisions my fiancé and I both made was the decision to buy fewer nicer things.
So, we were going to, like I said, three purses in five years, but they were designer. So, we’re going to have less things. We redid our closets and we got rid of all of our clothes, and now, we can only add clothes if we get rid of clothes. And our closet is just so beautiful and there’s very minimal things and everything in our closet fits and we have something to wear it with and we would wear it tomorrow.
Nothing’s in there that’s old or that we just can’t get rid of. We don’t have attachment to any of our things and we buy really nice things, but we have just empty drawers and empty cabinets in our house because we just have fewer things.
The other decision I made around this is travel and experiences will always be my priority. I’m always going to spend lots of money on travel and experiences. And another belief that came from this is that I am an example of what’s possible. So, of course, I want to show people that they can go to Paris and they can take a three-week trip to Europe, that coaches can do that because they have the freedom to do that. I want to show people what they can do with their time and their money and their service. That’s what I want to do.
Okay, so let’s dive into thoughts you might have as a coach about rich coaches and how that might prevent your learning process and growth. Because a lot of y’all have them. And you know how I know? I get the emails.
Alright, so here’s just a list of thoughts about rich coaches and these are actual thoughts I’ve heard about me or another successful coach. Here they are. And this is not the list entirely. These are just the ones that I have picked out that are popular.
She has sold out. She has gotten too big. She only cares about money. She’s profiting from other people’s pain. She uses people for money. She gets rich while her clients go broke. She’s pulling people away from their spirituality and integrity. She is only concerned about her bottom line. She’s consumed by material things. She has her priorities wrong. She works all the time. She has no life. She’s teaching her students to follow her blindly.
So, these are all thoughts I’ve heard in some form, either on ads, Instagram comments, emails, in passing about other people. And these thoughts, especially about rich coaches, you have to question. How do they feel in your body?
There’s a lot of gossip in the coaching industry. When you think these thoughts, do you feel negative inside your body when you say them? And be careful to notice, sometimes we think negative feelings feel good. When you gossip, it releases dopamine hits in your body. But it actually feels bad. It feels the opposite of love. It’s judgment and self-righteousness. That might give you a hit of adrenaline, dopamine, whatever. But it definitely doesn’t feel good.
When we judge others, when we feel morally superior to them, when we think that we’re on the right side of integrity, it feels bad. We have to pay close attention, anything that creates separation between you and someone else creates negativity for you, which creates a negative result for you.
And when it comes to money, it creates a negative money result for you, right? These negative thoughts about coaches create negative money results for you.
I’m going to give you some examples if you think someone is taking advantage of her clients, your result will become you will never have lots of clients to take advantage of. Your thought about someone else will always end up in your result line. You will either spend your time judging someone else and not creating value for your client, which will then actually have you taking advantage of your client, interestingly enough. Or you will just never have lots of clients so you can’t possibly take advantage of them.
If you think it’s possible for a coach to sell out and to be consumed with her goals, you will never commit to yours and you will never accomplish them. If you think making a lot of money will take away from your family, you will never give time to your business. You will always use family priority as the reason you can’t accomplish things. You will never learn that the opposite can be true.
And what’s interesting here is the people who always come to me and tell me that they fear their business is going to take away from their family, I can almost always get them talking about how they’re spending time and find that they’re, at night, that they’re drinking wine and binging Netflix, they’re scrolling on their phone all day on Facebook.
So, they’re already doing activities that are leading them to not paying attention to their family, always, right? Three hours a day of Facebook could be spent with your kids. We just never hear people talking about Netflix and Facebook and how that’s going to take away from our family.
We never look at the remote and say, “I can’t watch you. My kids come first.” But when it comes to money, because we have that belief inside of us, a lot of us, not all of us but a lot of us have that belief that money will take us away from our family, it’s the first thing we try to blame, our business, when it comes to feeling like we’re not having enough time with our family. But just because we never had a deep-seated belief that social media will take away from our family or watching TV or whatever, it’s always that money will do that. So, just notice if that comes up for you.
If you think you’re taking money from people and that can harm them, you will never overcome objections to money. And you will harm your client. That becomes your result, making their session about your money beliefs, not theirs. If you think that you can get too big and as you get more money, your clients will get less results, you’ll never take the time to figure out how to give your clients more results as you make more money. You don’t try to figure out impossible things that you don’t believe are possible.
If you think some coaches out there can sell programs that won’t help you, they can take advantage of you, which is what we think about a lot of rich people, a lot of rich coaches, they’re taking advantage of people, they’re not getting them the results, you’ll be terrified to buy programs and not get help and you’ll never sell a program out of that fear. Either way, you’re going to delegate your power to how big you can grow to a limiting belief about rich people and money.
I just never subscribe to the idea that coaches can hurt people or take advantage of people, and definitely not when it comes to money. And that really goes back to my decision that people can always decide to buy, no matter what your price is and no matter what your offer is, they have the power to decide to buy.
And I never feel like people need to be warned about certain coaches and the industry needs policing, that there are people out there taking advantage of others. Like, there might actually be people out there doing that, maybe. But I genuinely don’t think that it’s ever the case intentionally, and it’s less of the case with a rich coach because I believe the only way they can get rich is by giving a ton of value.
And most importantly, when I believe I can be taken advantage of, I don’t believe I can be taken advantage of because I don’t want that to end up in my result. I don’t want that result for me.
So, for every negative thought that you think about a rich coach or a rich person, you create a wedge between you and riches because you introduce limiting beliefs into your consciousness through your own criticism of other people. And just always know, it goes back to what I was saying earlier, the criticism that can never actually be factually proved will only be your assumptions, and the evidence that you’ve compiled in your brain, but only because you were looking for it and your brain will intentionally skew everything you see to provide you that evidence you’re looking for.
And then this is the other thing. It keeps you from actually learning how someone, a rich person, thinks, a rich coach thinks. People think rich people, rich coaches only care about money. Actually, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to get my students faster results and how to solve their problems more simply and clearly for them and how to get my knowledge to them the fastest.
It’s so interesting, I found a piece of paper that I wrote last year in December. And I was working on this podcast. It was in a notebook that I had been searching for like little things I had jotted down. And I found this note that I had jotted. And the note was, I had asked myself this question, “What is the most important thing to growing a brand, no matter what changes in the landscape occur?”
And what I think I meant by the landscape, the like technological landscape. And this is what I had written. It’s very telling about what I actually spend my time thinking about. Number one, solving problems for clients in the simplest way possible. That’s the most important thing to growing a brand, no matter what changes in the landscape occur.
Then I had number two, overdelivering always, getting my clients more results as I make more money, and always more results than I get. The exchange of the value is always in their favor, basically.
Number three, meeting people and telling or showing them who we are as a company, telling them in our marketing, showing them in our offers and our client experience and in our delivery. And then I wrote underneath that, amazing free content, really unique offers, seamless delivery and always offering a money back guarantee.
The person that emailed in and said that we were making money off people’s pain, like, no, we’re making money by solving problems and overdelivering and showing people who we are in our client experience and in our delivery and in our amazing free content and our super-unique offers and our money back guarantee.
But we don’t take the time to find that out when we’re busy judging and fearing and being morally superior. You just miss the opportunity to learn this. And I will say this. I never believe other coaches, especially the rich ones, could ever spend their time screwing people over, because that’s just not what I spend my time doing, right? It’s like the way that I show up in the world predicts the way or creates the way that I think about other people who are at my same level.
So, I want you to just genuinely think, if you’re someone that tends to get triggered by coaches who talk about making money a lot, I would just switch it. I would try this on and think about the idea that in order for them to have made a lot of money, they have to have figured out the value ratio, how to create more value than they receive and still make a lot of money.
And then, be interested in how they figure that out, be interested in what they know about that. Again, I call this the value ratio. My goal is always that the ratio is disproportionate and in my clients’ favor. So, they always get more. So, if they pay me 25K, they make way more than that.
And because I figured that out, I want coaches, instead of them spending time judging me or assuming the way that I think and my behavior and people on my ads, I want the message to go out, instead go into, “How did she figure this equation out? How did she create so much value and have so many people wanting to buy from her?”
People will say this to me all the time when they know that I’m rich. For example, my banker said this to me once about our money, she said, “I’m in the wrong line of work. But you’re also working all the time.” And it was so interesting because I never told her that and I actually don’t work all the time. It was Tuesday afternoon and I was in my Lululemons having just worked out with my trainer and I was running errands with my fiancé.
And I found it so interesting that she made that assumption as if – she believed it to be so true it was as if I told her that. We often put other people down to make ourselves feel better without even realizing it, and then we place limits on ourselves. She will never try to be more rich than she is because she believes she would have to sacrifice the time that she has in order to get there.
If you look at a coach’s business and you think that they must work all the time and the more money you make the more time you have to dedicate, you will never figure out how to actually scale. And scaling means more money with less time. And in my equation, it means more money, less time, with more results for your clients.
Okay, so here are the thoughts that I want you to think about rich coaches. I want you to just try them on. Do me this favor. Try these thoughts on that will help you get better results. She must give lots of value. Her clients must get crazy results. She’s making the world a better place. I want to be like her. I want to know how she thinks. I’m glad she came before me. She is an example of what’s possible. I want that. Making money will make me a better person. I will experience so much growth in order to hit this goal.
That’s what I mean by making money will make me a better person. Not that having money actually makes you a more worthy person, but I genuinely do believe that when I hit my goals that I will be more efficient in my time, I’ll have more experience, I’ll be better at helping my clients, my energy will be calmer, and I will be better at handling things in life, I’ll be more present for my family. That’s what I mean. And that’s been true at every single level. I’ve gotten better at managing my time, with more money, and then more present for my family.
I always look forward to that growth. I think about the byproducts of that growth. So, maybe I should say making money will give me lots of byproducts of the growth that it requires of me to have made that money. And I can’t wait to be that person for my family.
This is an investment of time and money for everyone in my life. I love how money gives me the opportunity to be extremely generous. Make more, give more, to my clients, to my family, to my friends, to the world. What? That’s the best one.
Okay, so let’s recap. Find out what you believe about having a lot of money for you, and when other people have a lot of money, what that might mean for them. Coach yourself. I give you lots of examples here. Write down the haters’ thought processes. See where you agreed, where you don’t. decide what you believe and what you will do and what will become your philosophy.
Question everything that feels negative in your body. Notice self-righteousness and judgment. You’ll only create a result for you that you won’t like. It will not create a negative result for that person you’re judging. You will make less money while they make more.
Learn from rich people. Assume rich people are amazing. Ignore the ones who aren’t. What do you want to be the possibility of? Do you want to be the possibility of rich with lots of time, love, integrity, and nice things? Do it. And think the next lady or gent that you see driving a Maserati around, they are an example of what’s possible. Alright, see you next week.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.