Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Hey coaches, welcome to episode 83. So, today, we’re going to do something a little different. In fact, coming up on the podcast, you’re going to start hearing different topics from me. One of the things, I will just tell you quickly, that I have about 12 podcasts in the works right now.
And one of the things that I’ve been really feeling compelled to talk about is money. We’re going to talk about our thoughts about money coming up. We’re going to talk about thoughts about rich people coming up. We’re going to talk about – we’re really going to dive into all kinds of thoughts around money.
We’re going to talk about some coaching tools that I use in my coaching with my students in 2K and 200K. So, I’ going to do an episode on holding the space. We just talked about processing feelings. I’m going to talk about how to be coachable. We have a lot of amazing things coming up. And then I’m, of course, going to sprinkle in some more selling podcasts.
And one of the things that I thought would be really fun, which I’m going to share with you today, is I’m also going to share stories with you because I think that stories are how we learn and we can deeply understand something.
Ad one of the things that has really understand selling, especially selling life coaching, which to me felt different than anything I’ve sold before because I was always either selling someone else’s product, and I was always selling, especially when I was selling mops and slicers and knives in department stores in Walmart, in grocery stores, there were always crowds of people.
Selling life coaching was the first time that I was really selling something very, what I would consider very expensive when I first came to coaching. And I was selling that one on one. So, even in college, I sod cellphones. I was really good at it. I used to work for AT&T. I was the best.
But I was selling a cheaper product, right? I remember when the iPhone came out and it was considered very expensive and I think it was a couple hundred dollars. And people were coming to me ready to buy. There wasn’t a lot of, “I have no idea, I’m considering buying phones.” It was like, “I’m here to get the iPhone.”
So, I had never done this specific type of selling where it was really, like, one on one, and we’re just going to say high-end or expensive. And what I mean by that is something that’s a couple thousand dollars.
So, I want to share with you stories because one of the ways that I learned a lot about selling life coaching and about the mindset of the buyer when you’re in a one on one setting, the mindset of the buyer and the mindset of the seller is I pay attention to my own selling experiences.
So, I go out in the world and I buy things and I pay attention to that interaction. I pay attention to my behavior, my thoughts, my experience. And then, I pay attention to the salesperson, things I like, things I don’t like. I highly recommend that all of you do this.
You’ve got to go out and spend some money on things that you love and want and then see that experience for yourself. And maybe that’s not going into retail stores. Maybe that’s spending some money on a program or a coach or doing several consultations with coaches. Whatever it is, going out and being the buyer will help you learn so much about being the seller.
So, I had an experience that I’m going to tell you about today. And I’m going to tell you my experience from the buyer, and then I’m going to tell you about how, after I walked out of the store, how I was thinking as the salesperson and what I learned that I already teach all of my students, but it just really reinforced my own beliefs.
And that’s what’s so powerful about exchanging stories her eon the podcast, but then also you having your own experiences as you can learn, here on the podcast, you can learn in 2K and then you can start to really put those things together and see those as – what I experienced in this instance was it felt like a recognition of a universal truth.
I was like, “Oh yeah, this isn’t just what I teach in life coaching. This is the way it works in all selling.” Which just reinforced my belief and then my power to teach and coach on my own concepts when I’m going out and looking for this in the world.
Okay, so, I think stories are super-important. I’m going to share some of my experiences selling, some of my experiences buying, and I think it will be really powerful. And I want to encourage you to go out and also have these experiences. And maybe not go out right now, unless you’re rave and courageous and a little reckless, like me.
My fiancé and I went to Vegas recently, last week. And I know some of you are probably thinking, “What?” Listen, I was not wanting to go to Vegas either. I’m like, that sounds like the worst place to go ever in a pandemic. But my fiancé really wanted to go and I love him so much, I would kind of follow him into the dark. That’s how I feel. I’m like, wherever you go, I’ll go. I’m game. Let’s do it.
And, to be fair, in June when Miami opened, he went with me. We spent a couple of days at the Four Seasons when we were supposed to be on our honeymoon and just kind of being together, and it was a very sad and amazing trip at the same time, but we just felt like we really needed something to spend time and connect together, since we weren’t getting married and we weren’t having our honeymoon.
So, we did that for me, and he really wanted to do Vegas. And it sounded okay at the time when we decided. And then, as it got closer and the numbers started spiking across the country, I was like, “I don’t know if this is a good idea. This sounds like actually a really bad idea.”
But we decided to be very safe. We stayed at the Wynn and I will tell you all, because I know a lot of you have not ventured out into the world. It really was fine. We were masked the entire time, which was not a problem. I got amazing coaching on wearing it, even in 110-degree weather, even at the pool. And the cool girls in Vegas, by the way, are not wearing face masks, they’re wearing face shields. Branded ones with the Wynn. That’s what all the cool girls at the pool were wearing.
So, we went and, I just have to tell you all, it was fine. We had an amazing time. We didn’t spend a lot of time with other people, but it was very clean. They were very conscious of safety and social distancing. And we ended up having an amazing time. And I actually wasn’t scared the entire time I was there.
It was just before I went. So, I went to Vegas and Neil loves to gamble. That’s what he likes to do there. and I usually like to be at the pool, but it was 100 degrees, so we didn’t spend much time at the pool. And the other thing I love to do is shop. Y’all know this about me. I love to buy expensive things. It’s my favorite.
And I feel owed to buy expensive things for many reasons. I feel owed because I missed my wedding and my honeymoon, so I will buy nice things for myself this year. And also, because I tried to shop during the quarantine time online for, like, my business, for clothes, since I lost a bunch of weight. I couldn’t find anything. So, I told Neil, when we traveled, I was going to blow it up. I was going to buy all the things if I loved them.
So, that’s the backstory. Here’s my story. So, we go shopping. We stay at the Wynn. They have only designer stores everywhere. It’s total luxury. I love it so much. So, they have Louis Vuitton, they have Dior, they have Chanel, Givenchy. They have all of the places, Alexander McQueen.
So, we go shopping. I find in the Wynn Magazine this incredible Givenchy purse, and I’m like, “I have to have it. I have to have it.” So, we go and we buy it. and then I’m like, “Okay, I’m done for the trip.” I got my purse. I feel so happy.
And then, I’m like peeking in the window of Chanel and I see this bag on the shelf, and it’s a beach bag. And I have been wanting a beach bag from Chanel for a long time. I had one picked out. When I went to buy it, they had sold out. So, I was like eying this bag.
And Neil comes up and I’m like, “Okay, let’s go into Chanel. Let’s just look at it. I won’t buy it. I just want to look at it. And then, of course, I buy it. Famous last words, “I just want to look.” So we buy this bag and I’m like, “Okay, Neil, I promise I’m done. I’m not buying anything else.” And I really believed myself in my own brain. I really did. I’m like, we’re done. We’re not buying anything else.
And then, while we’re waiting in line to go into Louis Vuitton, because you have to, like, schedule appointments and I wanted to get some – I have perfume that they will refill for you, which apparently, they do not during the pandemic. But I had hoped to get my perfume refilled.
So, we were waiting in line and they were like, “It’s going to be an hour before we can let anybody else in the store.” And we’re like, “Okay.” And Alexander McQueen is right across the hallway. And I’m like, “Let’s just go in. I saw a bag there earlier that I really liked. But I won’t buy it. I just want to see it.”
And I sold Neil on the idea of I just want to see it so that I can know if I really love it, so that if I do really love it, I know it’s worth ordering later. This is what I sold Neil on. Famous last words.
So, we walk in and I see the bag that I had been looking at. Now remember, I had already bought two bags. I don’t need a third bag. But I’m looking at this bag and I’m like, “Oh my god, I love this bag.” And the salesperson comes up to me and he’s like, “Oh my gosh, you’re going to love this bag. This bag is amazing.”
And then he goes, “Oh my gosh, your bag is amazing.” And I have a Louis Vuitton bag that is a limited edition from two summers ago. And it is an extraordinary bag. People freak out every time they see it. It’s very unusual. It’s very beautiful.
So, he starts commenting on my Louis Vuitton bag. And then I tell him the story of how I got the Louis Vuitton bag, which is a story for a different day, but it was a pretty miraculous story. I actually think I might have already told it on this podcast.
And so, I started telling him about that and then we started talking and he’s like, “Well, if you love limited edition things, this bag, there’s only five in the entire country, and we have one of them.” He said even Melrose doesn’t have this bag. Like, LA stores, they only have three of the colors. This bag was green leather with black with these gold handles. Oh my god. So beautiful.
And he’s like, “We’re one of the only ones.” And he starts telling me about the exclusivity of these designer boutiques in the Wynn because the Wynn does so much business that the boutiques in the Wynn – and I told him I just bought the Givenchy purse and he’s like, “Oh that boutique, they get all of the best Givenchy stuff.”
So, he starts telling me about all these boutiques and why they’re so hot and why they get all the best stuff. And he’s like, “There’s only five in the country. Just look at it. It’s really…” and he’s really selling me on this bag and I’m walking around the store and I’m like, “Oh, fuck’s sake. I’m definitely buying this bag.”
And at this point, Neil, it’s sinking in that I’m going to buy this bag too. And so, I decided to buy the bag. And we’re still talking, I’ve already decided, but I haven’t told him I’m buying the bag yet. We start talking about my car and I tell him how my car is, like, very unique and there’s only a couple in the entire country that have my specific package and all of the things and they had to actually send it over from Germany and it got stuck in customs.
I love having limited things, okay. So, this guy learns this about me. I love having nice things. I love having limited things. I love it. So, he’s pulling this out of me and I’m selling myself. He’s not even selling me. I’m selling me. I’m selling me when I tell him the story about the Louis Vuitton bag. I’m selling me when I tell him the story about my car.
So, this is the first thing I notices in this exchange is I am actually doing all the work. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I feel like he was just here kind of nudging me along, keeping me selling myself. That was all he was doing.
The entire exchange lasted about 10 minutes. 10 minutes. And I bought the bag. I’d already bought two other bags. I bought the bag. The bag was $2500. And I walked out and I started thinking about this. And I was like, “Wait a minute.”
So, this is the first thing I want to offer you. A lot of my coaches think that $2500 is a lot of money. And they think that they have to spend a lot of time selling someone to get them to spend that amount of money. So, this is the first thought that I want you to question; do you really have to spend a lot of time to get someone to buy, to want to buy something very expensive?
In this scenario, the answer is no. I want you to question that because when I was first starting out doing consults, I also believed it would take a very long time to get someone to buy a $5000 package. That was the package I was selling.
And there would be times where I would do consults that were two hours long, 90 minutes long. I remember working so hard to get my time down on the consults. But what I realized when I was looking at why is it taking so long, number one, I was not practiced in explaining what I do, right? So that’s okay. Sometimes in the beginning it does take longer.
But really, what was happening was the thought behind that was I have to give them lots of value. I have to spend a lot of time with them. I have to really make sure they understand everything. I have to cover everything. It felt so heavy. Like, I have to do all these things to walk someone into $5000.
And I also remember thinking that, you know, an hour isn’t very much time to make a decision on a $5000 purchase. I had 20 minutes when I was selling mops. 20 minutes to get someone to buy a $30 product. And to me, I was like, “Yeah, I can do that. I can sell someone a $30 product in 20 minutes” But if I can sell someone a $30 product in 20 minutes, why couldn’t you sell someone a $2500 product in 20 minutes? Or 10 minutes? What?
So, I want you guys to play in your brain with this, that it doesn’t actually take a long time for people to decide. They could decide quickly. How long it takes them depends on – and this is what I think is the energy that you create, the safety that you instantly create for them to walk themselves into the selling.
And I teach you that in 2K. I teach you how to clean sell where you hold the space, where you create a safe comfortable place for someone to walk in and sell themselves, for them to be able to have an experience that feels really fun, maybe even luxurious, exciting, interesting, new, to allow them to be able to open up and to trust you to tell you the real shit happening in their lives and to really get to the nitty gritty, the stuff that sometimes if you don’t create that space, will push people into surface-level details. They’ll tell you all the surface stuff. They won’t get down to the nitty-gritty, which is what you will have to get to in order to overcome objections and in order to really have a transformation on the call.
So, he really created this space for me very quickly. And how he did that is he didn’t push from graspiness. He wasn’t aggressive with me on, “You have to buy this purse.” He wasn’t overly selling me on the purse and all the features and all of the stuff. He spent a lot of time listening to me tell my stories and sell myself.
He spent time observing me. He knew that my Louis Vuitton bag was limited because he’d never seen it. And thousands of people walk through the Wynn every single day, he’d never seen that Louis Vuitton, so he knew it was limited and he brought it up.
He observed. He paid attention. He watched me. And I think that also requires holding the space where you kind of – and we’re going to do a podcast about holding the space – where you have kind of a blank space for you where you’re not so busy thinking about your thoughts, that you don’t have time or ability to observe somebody else’s thoughts or observe somebody else’s behavior or observe somebody else’s mannerisms or way of being.
So, he knew a lot about me just from observing me and observing my bag and observing probably the interaction with Neil and I. He learned a lot by keeping his mouth shut and not pushing, but just gradually – it was almost like, my family loves to play, you know those little beachballs that are really light? We love to toss them back and forth in the pool and count how many times you can do it without someone dropping.
And it almost felt like he was just gently popping that ball back up in the air, just serving it right back up to me every couple of minutes, like, “Here’s how limited this is. Here’s how exclusive this is. Here’s why it’s so amazing. Here’s what it goes with.” Just every once in a while, just gently lifting that ball back in the air. That’s how it felt like.
And I realized that the reason he was able to do this – and this is the thing I really want you to hear – is that he didn’t believe I wasn’t going to buy. And then he didn’t go treat me that way. Because the first thing I said when we walked into the store is, “We just want to look. Not going to buy. I already bought the bags today. I told my fiancé we’re not going to buy anything else. I’m just looking.”
And he didn’t decide, “Oh, okay, there’s no point in getting to know this person. There’s no point in listening. There’s no point in observing because they’re not going to buy anyways. I need to push hard because they’re not going to buy.” Which is what a lot of you do on consults.
You’re like, you decide they’re not going to buy very early on, or at some point in the consult. And then you start pushing and overtalking and overexplaining and over-giving in an effort to try to convince them back to the other side of, “I’m going to buy.”
But he just didn’t believe that I wasn’t going to buy. In fact, in his head, he was probably like, “This crazy lady says she’s not buying this purse. She’s definitely buying this purse.” People used to come up to me in my shows when I was pitching and they’d be like, “I’m going to watch your next show, but I’m not buying that.”
And I’m like, “Okay, come front and center.” I sold this one lady five slicers. She was like, “I’m not buying that slicer, but I am going to watch your show.” I was like, “Definitely, come.” And she was like, “No, but I’m not going to buy it.” And I was like, “Yeah, it’s totally fine. Juts come watch. I’ll save you a seat right at the front.” And she’s like, “Alright, but I’m not buying.” I’m like, “It’s fine.” And at the end, she’s like, “I want five.”
So, he just didn’t believe I wasn’t going to buy, and then he didn’t treat me that way. Because he wasn’t believing that I wasn’t going to buy, here’s what he did instead. Are you ready for it? He connected with me. He connected with our mutual love of Louis Vuitton. He connected with me with our mutual love of cars. He has a sports car too. And he connected with me about that.
He connected with me on how much we both loved the Alexander McQueen bag. He spent time getting to know me. He asked me where I was from. He asked me about the weather. And not in a, like, I’m trying to ask you questions to establish a connection that’s fake. He was genuinely interested.
I’ve experienced the opposite. Our bankers are the worst. We go in and I swear they just enjoy wasting our time. We have to small-talk with them for like 20 minutes before they will give us simple papers to sign. It’s like, what is happening? I just want to sign the papers. I don’t want to force small-talk.
So, you can tell when it’s not genuine and when it is and it was genuine with this guy. He was genuinely interested. And it all really stemmed from he didn’t believe I wasn’t going to buy. Or, if I he did believe I wasn’t going to buy, are you ready for it? He was okay with it.
Really think about that. When you’re on a consult and you’re like, “This person is not going to buy,” could you be okay with that and still buckle down and connect to the person, give them the most amazing consult and the biggest transformation? Could you still really listen to them? Could you still observe them? Could you still find the conversation valuable and worthy of your time? Could you still find it a good use of your time, even if they decided they weren’t going to buy?
I had someone call me once. We set up a consult, and at the beginning of the consult, she was like, “Listen, you said you do free calls. But I don’t have any money. I have like five dollars to my name. I can’t hire you. But you said you do hour consults, so here I am.” And I was like, “Alright, buckle up, let’s go.”
So, really think about that? How do you act when you don’t believe that someone’s going to buy? Can you be totally fine with that and be all in still with the original plan? Or can you not believe? Can you decide not to believe that they’re not going to buy? Can you believe that they are going to buy, even when they say they’re not?
When the lady was like, “I’m coming to the front of your show,” I didn’t feel like I had to have her buy. I didn’t need her to buy. I didn’t feel attached to her buying. I didn’t feel like I needed to prove something with her buying. But I was like, “She’s probably going to buy.”
In my shows, the people that would say they were going to buy never did in the beginning. If they said, “I’m going to come and watch your show and buy that thing,” they never would. But the people who said, “I’m going to watch your show but I’m not buying that thing,” they always did. People don’t actually know what they’re going to do. Let’s be clear.
Many people get on a consult just like I walked into Alexander McQueen and they do not think they’re going to buy coaching from you, and they’re totally going to buy coaching from you. But only if you decide that they’re going to buy coaching from you, if you decide to let it be however it’s going to be and go all in on the conversation either way. So powerful.
So, this guy made a $2500 sale in 10 minutes because he didn’t believe I wasn’t going to buy and then subsequently treat me that way and ignore me and push me aside. He didn’t feel the need to push from graspiness because he clearly still believed either I was going to buy or he was fine that I wasn’t going to buy.
He had fun. This is the other thing. We had so much fun. In that 10 minutes – it ended up taking 30 after the entire transaction. We had him ship it back to Kentucky. So, we were in the store 30 minutes. But we had so much fun in that time.
We laughed, we talked, we got to know each other. We had a good time. He had fun. And this is the other thing, is he knew its value. I forgot to mention this earlier. This was huge. I’m going to recap for you in just a second. But he knew its value.
He didn’t need to oversell the bag. He didn’t need to push me on the bag because he knew its value. He knew there were only five in the country. My guess is his thought was probably, “If you don’t buy it, someone else will. There are only five. This bag will get sold. It’s fucking amazing.”
That’s why I’m like, “Do you know what my clients buy from me? Anything I fucking sell them.” I only sell them amazing things. Of course, they’re going to buy it. I didn’t ask, but I bet that that was this thought, like, of course, someone will buy this bag. If it’s not her, someone’s going to buy it. there are only five. It’s an amazing bag.
You guys are going to be dying to know what it looks like. Maybe I’ll post it on Instagram and we get it in. So, he didn’t believe that I wasn’t going to buy. He didn’t push from graspiness. He knew the bag’s value, so he didn’t feel rushed or insufficient in selling it. He didn’t feel like, “I have so many bags I have to sell,” right? Which is what we do with coaching.
We’re like, “I have so many spots. I have 20 spots and I haven’t sold any of them.” He’s like, “There are five bags. They’re definitely getting sold.” What if you were like, “There are 20 spots in my coaching, they’re definitely getting sold.” Just think about that.
So, he didn’t push. He knew its value. He had fun. He listened and observed and he connected with me. And that all came from the place of believing either I was going to buy, or being totally fine that I wasn’t going to buy.
Y’all, this is everything. I feel like the bag already paid for itself in the lesson that I’m able to teach you here today. That’s another me selling myself on it. But so good, y’all.
I walked out and I told Neil, I said, “These Wynn boutique salespeople are good. I didn’t feel pushed in any of the three bags that I bought. I felt well-served. I felt like they all knew its value. I think that they all – I had this experience really, if I think about it, with each of these bags.
In fact, I was, like, selling one of my friends while I was at Chanel, taking photos and sending it to her. I was like, “You would look amazing in this. you have to buy it.” Like, I just felt really amazing the entire time I was there. and I really think that that’s the space they create is they know the value of the things they have. They’re going to have fun.
They know, if somebody doesn’t buy it, someone else will. They have so many people going through their stores and they’re very good at reading people. They’re very good at knowing who their clientele is and how to sell to them. And they are definitely fantastic at connecting.
So, this is your lesson for today, y’all. Believe your clients are going to buy or be okay that they won’t. Don’t push from graspiness. Know the value of your coaching. And know that if someone on the phone with you, that person on the phone with you doesn’t buy, someone else will.
And if you don’t believe that, you have to go to work on that belief. If you’re not having fun on your consults, you have to go to work on that. Why aren’t you having fun? Because of your thoughts, of course, and the way that you feel about it.
If you’re not easily able to listen and observe and pick up things from your clients, why not? Of course, because your brain is full of garbage. All of your thoughts about you, all your scarcity, all your fear of humiliation, all your fear of messing up, your attachment to needing to get them a transformation, your attachment to needing to get a client. All that stuff keeps you from connecting. We talked about that on the episode before with Laura Dixon, that her biggest thing that she learned from 100 nos was the connection piece.
Now, of course, if you join 2K, I will help you with all of this. This is what we do all day long. Selling people is not complicated. It’s simple. You can do it in 10 minutes. You can sell someone a $2500 purse in 10 minutes, you can definitely sell them $2500 coaching in an hour, obviously. You can do that. It’s possible.
But you have to get all the garbage out of your head that keeps you from showing up in a way that makes the buying experience feel safe and fun and exciting. That’s the way you should feel when people buy coaching. They should feel like they’re buying a limited-edition Alexander McQueen bag or a limited-edition Chanel bag.
They should feel like that about your coaching. Do you feel that way? Are you selling your coaching in a way that feels like it’s an Alexander McQueen bag or whatever brand you love, a Louis Vuitton bag? Are you selling your coaching that way? Does it feel that way for you?
If it doesn’t, you’ve got to work on it. Your clients’ experience is dependent on it. Of course, join 2K, I will help you with all of it. It’s what we do all day long, every step of our process. But listen to this podcast over and over and over if you’re not in 2K. Gold, gold in these steps. Thank you, mister salesperson from Alexander McQueen.
Alright, that’s my story or today. I hope y’all learned a lot. I’ll see you next week.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.