When you go over the thoughts you have about being poor yourself, or the prospect of being poor, a whole series of negative thoughts probably come up. And when it comes to your clients, your fears of them being poor really start to get in your way. So, we’re going to unpack this today because, as someone who has been both poor and rich, I know that as a coach, what you have to offer might just be the answer.
Tune in this week to uncover your thoughts about poor people or being poor yourself and how they are affecting your potential success in this industry. I’m sharing my own stories, being broke when I started coaching and what it taught me, and what you can do to work on your thoughts about poor people, so you can show up as an even better coach.
Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Hey coaches. Welcome to episode 88. How are you all doing this week? I have been clearing my brain and resting after the 200K live event and I’ve been doing lots of reading. Now, listen, don’t judge me, but the Twilight series has a new book out, Midnight Sun. And I am tearing it up. It’s like 700 pages.
So, where are my Twilight people? Can I just talk to y’all for a second? You know who you are. Listen, you understand the excitement of this. Book one of the series from Edward’s perspective. I am team Edward all the way.
I saw this book was coming out. I ordered one for myself and one for my sister and I mailed it to her, and she laughed at me, and also quickly started reading as well. And now, we’ve been racing to see who can finish first. So, since the 200K live event has ended, I’m about 500 pages in. I’m almost done and it’s been everything. I know it was written for teenagers, but listen, I love it. So good.
So, I’m going to spend this weekend – it’s Monday now, so I’m already looking forward to the weekend in which I’m going to finish the book and watch the entire series in my movie room. And it’s going to be amazing. So good.
It’s been nice to just not think about 2020 and the coronavirus. It’s been nice to escape to fictional fantasy land where there are hot vampires. Although, I still don’t love the helplessness of Bella, but we’ll just move past that for the sake of great fiction that I love and adore. Alright, anyway, if you’re a Twilight fan, get Midnight Sun. I think that’s what it’s called. It’s so good.
Okay, today, we’re going to talk about thoughts about poor people. Are you ready? Listen here, I’ve had a lot of coffee. It’s Monday afternoon. I’m jazzed up. I’m going to be feisty today.
I thought, like, when I was writing this – I actually felt like this for the last several episodes, I feel like, have been anthologies; very long, all of my thoughts about the topic instead of broken up into little ones. Mostly because I don’t want to do three podcasts with all my thoughts about poor people. I want to just give it to you all together.
So, I have my notes. I’m ready. I’m going to tell you all lots of stories. Let’s do it. Okay, so listen, your thoughts about rich people, if you listen to that episode – if you haven’t, you’ll want to catch up and listen to that. Your thoughts about rich people either grow your knowledge to become rich, or keep you from ever learning how to think like someone rich, and therefore becoming rich.
Your thoughts about poor people keep you from helping poor people, from coaching clean and selling clean, and consequently keep you poor. Or, they can become a source of freedom in your mind, your emotions, your decisions, and your life.
I love teaching you all how to empower yourselves by breaking free of societal molds of rich and poor people, of money, and its role in your life. Because I have been poor, and I have created wealth and become rich. So, I know deeply how people in both categories think and interact with the world and how society influences this.
So, I’m very excited about this episode, if you can’t tell. For this episode, I’m going to start with, if you are rich, thinking about poor people. Now, let’s define rich first. And we’re going to make it as simple as possible by defining what is not rich, what is considered poor commonly in society so you can say, “Okay, I’m in this category or that or somewhere in the middle.”
And I will say that this is also, what I’m going to define as what would commonly be considered poor is what many of you would label as, quote unquote doing life wrong. And it’s very important that you just see this and can start growing awareness around where you think you’re doing life wrong or where the results you have in your life and quote unquote wrong for what is considered successful within society.
Are you ready? Having debt, having little money in your checking and no money in savings. Having no retirement and-or investment accounts. Not having adequate money for healthcare. Not owning a home. Not being able to pay for your children’s school tuition. Not being able to vacation. Not being able to buy nice things. Not being able to go out to dinner. Not being able to buy things in general, let me just clarify.
Essentially, it’s not being able to afford things, right? Not knowing where your next meal will come from. Having access to no future money. This one is really interesting. I was in that spot a lot growing my business, not just not having money, but also not having near access to future money. As in I have no money and also, I don’t get paid for two weeks or a month or I don’t have any money coming in.
Being homeless. That’s right. A lot of you just consider that, for sure, the worst-case most atrocious thing that could happen. And maybe it is. And maybe it isn’t. We’re going to talk about that later in the podcast.
Now, I just want to say though, for right now, some of you might be kind of like in the middle, where – so, for example, you might not have money to pay for your kids’ tuition, like your kids are going off to college and you don’t know how you’re going to pay for that. But you also don’t consider yourself poor.
But the question I want you to just think about is do any of these things, or anything I haven’t mentioned that maybe you’re thinking about now, when you think about them, do you feel scared, uncomfortable, or think something has gone wrong? Are they the opposite of what you think is the acceptable life standard?
So, many of us have a life standard, what we think we should have in life. And if any of that is missing or threatened, we experience the feeling of the thought something has gone wrong, whatever that feeling is for you, you have the reaction that something has gone wrong. Not that it actually has. You see, there is no actual measurement for being poor or being rich. Our minds create it based on the thoughts that something has gone wrong or something is going right, or that there even is a right or a wrong.
Being right with money in our society often looks like owning a home, having a car to drive, or money for transportation, if you live in a city where you wouldn’t necessarily have a car, so having to think about money for transportation if you’re in a big city, having to stress about it is not a thing for you. That would be considered being right in money, being able to afford your children’s wants and needs.
Think about the experience of your parents having told you no for something that you wanted and then they might have explained to you that you were poor by telling you, “Money doesn’t grow on trees. We can’t afford those types of luxuries.” You might have even experienced your parents stressing out about not being able to afford birthday or Christmas gifts or Halloween costumes. So, being able to afford your children’s wants and needs would be considered, in your brain, many of you would consider that doing life right, or you’re winning, or you’re succeeding.
Having money for healthcare and medical issues that arise. Having savings. Having retirement and investments. Having the money for home renovations or new furniture, new clothes, vacations, date nights, not having student loan debt, being able to afford an emergency or an appliance that breaks down or a new roof that has to be had.
When we meet these standards in our minds, then we feel rich. Many of us also equate having money as better and not having money as worse. Neil and I actually joke about this a lot. We have this gif that we send each other. It’s like a Real Housewives gif. I don’t even watch it, but it’s a woman and she’s saying, “Being poor sucks. Being rich is a lot better.” And we get a kick out of it, now that we get to go do rally elevated things, having been very poor in our lives.
Like, if we fly first class or – I remember when Neil and I first started dating, he would budget his money to a tee and he would tell me every week how many dates we could go on and how many times we could eat dinner out.
So, now, if he’s out on vacation, maybe with his brother or something, ordering Japanese A5 Wagyu or buying – even when we buy just a bottle of water, like a Fiji water at the Starbucks before we get on a flight, we’ll hit each other with that gif.
But all jokes aside, that is kind of the common mental construct around money, that being rich is better and being poor is terrible. But the problem is, when we have a standard for what we think is doing life right, anything that falls below that standard is wrong.
We then think our life is wrong. It literally, quote unquote sucks. And, as life coaches, whatever we fear outside of our life standard, we will also fear for others, consciously or unconsciously, subconsciously. We will want to steer other people away from situations that are outside of our life standard.
Enter the money objection. I just can’t afford it. our house needs a new roof. And then your brain is saying something has gone wrong. They say, I just can’t afford it. we have a kid going to college this year. And you’re like, “Yep, I agree, something has gone wrong.” Like, “I would have to bleed my savings dry to work with you. I would have to pull from retirement.” Something has gone wrong. Something has gone wrong, “I’m saving for a house,” and you’re like, ah, house, yes, that’s a very important legitimate thing to be saving for. You should definitely not spend your money on coaching.
I might not be able to pay my mortgage or my car payment. Your brain is screaming, “Yes, that’s bad, that’s bad. Your brain goes into high alert. It’s like, danger. And suddenly, you have lost all of your power in your brain to serve this person on the phone with you asking for help. You get stuck. And then, of course, you schedule a follow up, tell them to think about it, or worse, you just send them on their way. You missed coaching them from a clean place without fear or resistance to whatever they’re having fear and resistance around.
So, let me help you out here. Most humans believe their life is either at standard and fear losing that standard, or believe their life lacks that standard and fears it not getting better or it getting worse. So, many, almost all the human brains, fear big money decisions.
When you aren’t clean about money, it makes it hard to coach clean about money. So, you have to start with your beliefs round being poor or experiencing poverty, or even just like simply a lack of what you view is a simple life standard, like having a house.
So, I recently coached a client in 2K, we have weekly calls every week inside 2K where people can get live coaching. So, I recently coached a client on her client being homeless. Like, this is real, y’all. You might get this. You might have a client who is homeless or has the potential for homelessness.
But her belief that her client shouldn’t be homeless was having her, as the coach, trying to do all the work for the client, trying to manage her life and her decisions while also trying to keep her as a client, even though she wanted to raise her prices, all out of fear that this girl’s life will be worse off if she isn’t being saved by her caring coach from these horrible life circumstances.
Now, this was only 2% exaggerated from what was going on there. This is seriously what so many of you all do too. The moment you think you’re saving a client from a potential bad life circumstance on a consult, on a call, you have stepped out of clean coaching.
So, here’s what happens when you do that, when you step out of clean coaching, out of your resistance to a bad life circumstance. You try and manipulate or force their thinking to create something that you deem better. You try to influence their decision-making and their actions to avoid them doing something uncomfortable or being in a situation that you think is uncomfortable.
You decide for them. You just decide, the moment they tell you that they don’t have money that it’s true and it’s bad and it’s horrible and you just get off the phone as quickly as possible. Or you try and teach and educate them that they could have something better than what they’re having now because you believe their life is not great now and you’re like, “Oh, of course you should go get a credit card because your life will be so much better when you have all these life standards that I know are possible for you.”
What? You do the work for them. You convince them. You agree with them. You don’t coach them hard. You shy away. You think you know the right thing, that coaching is the right thing, or that not coaching is the right thing. You try and mold them and fit them and their life into your standard to keep them safe. You try to protect them.
You do protect them, from failure, from making big scary decisions, from risking anything. I want you to think about what if none of these things were useful to them? What if this is actually the thing that harms them? What if your resistance and meddling with their homelessness harms them and takes their power more than the homelessness?
I really want you all to think about this. My first coach actually got into coaching because she was living out of her car. And when she was in her car with nothing to do after work until she fell asleep, she would listen to personal development. And eventually, she changed her thoughts after night after night of sleeping in her car listening to personal development, right? Until she changed her entire life and she became a coach.
Tony Robbins tells this story all the time of having no money and giving his last dollars away to a kid at a buffet and then surviving based on someone calling him and giving money back that they owed him and that his poverty fueled his figuring out wealth and fueled his generosity as he learned to change his life.
And he even tells the story too of he used to park in the ack of a business that he went to, in the very back of their lot if he was presenting, because he drove such a dirty beater car. But it taught him about how what he had didn’t determine what he could give and teach.
A lot of you think that the reason no one will take you seriously is because you don’t have a fancy office or a nice car or a nice house or nice furniture. When you think that, you miss out on learning the role your mind plays in your value; not things. Not the role things play in your value.
When you believe your clients and you try to manage your clients’ lives and their decisions, you also miss out on presenting them with an opportunity to learn that lesson too, to learn the lesson of resourcefulness, to learn the lesson of your mind being what created value.
I am so grateful every single day that my coach Brooke did not try and manage me when I told her I had no money and was doing our LCS interview in a Walmart parking lot. Like, I’ so grateful she didn’t choose to think, “What if I take this girl’s money and she fails and has even less money? And that’s bad.”
In the beginning, I would have clients freaking out about paying their coaching payment. And they would be messaging me. This has happened so many different times in so many different ways. They would message me pictures of their empty refrigerators and how they weren’t going to be able to eat that week.
But you know what? I went hungry many times. I spent months of my life, years of my life living off of $3 frozen meals, or the vegetables that we would chop up for our presentations, taking them home and frying up the potatoes and eating the salads that we would have for the show and the tomatoes with oil and salt. Like, literally taking all the vegetables, like how can I make a meal of this?
And listen, I was not suffering. I was investing. I was putting my future above my now. So, of course, I was able to coach that client without any fear that I might harm her or make her situation worse. I didn’t have a thought that she was in a bad situation to begin with.
Having no food in the fridge, that is actually a circumstance. You get to choose how you react to that. You get to decide what to think and how to feel about it.
I was not making it mean something terrible had gone wrong and my life was unlivable and unenjoyable. I was actually happy. What? My poorest times were some of my happiest times. When I was coaching and I was experiencing an extreme lack of money, I was feeling purpose and conviction. That was not what I was focused on.
I had so many times in my life where I was selling slicers in a department store and making $10,000 a week and miserable. So, I have stories where I had absolutely no money and no idea where my next meal was coming from, but I was spending my money on coaching and feeling more alive than ever before.
The other thing that’s really interesting to think about is when this was pre-coaching and I had no food in the fridge or money to buy food, I also didn’t have awareness. I was thinking about this when I was putting this podcast together. It’s just the way my life was.
It wasn’t like I had the awareness of fresh pressed juices and lattes with almond milk and egg white omelets for breakfast every day, and then suddenly no food. There was no stark contrast. It had always been that way.
So, either way, I either wasn’t suffering the same way that you imagine your clients are suffering when they come to you with no money. Or I was, but I was also feeling purpose and conviction that outweighed that.
I often tell Neil that the times that we had no money are some of the fondest times I have in our relationship. I love thinking back to the ways that Neil used to get creative to stretch his money for our dates. And he would do dates on the walking bridge where he would spend $2 on an ice cream cone or he would take me to the zoo instead of a fancy dinner.
Oftentimes, when we’re scared of being poor, we can’t imagine anyone could ever be happy in it, that they could ever enjoy their lives without money, or even that they would want to choose it, choose to not have money, maybe in exchange for something greater. But I chose coaching over furniture, over spoons.
Y’all have heard this story. I had like two spoons for two years when I met Neil. I could have spent $10 at TJ Max for a new set, but it wasn’t even on my mind. I didn’t feel that I was lacking six other spoons. I kept investing in my coaching and my education as a coach and in my business coaching with all of my money, my entire IRA, my entire savings.
I put $12,000 on a credit card. I chose that. I chose it and I thought only about what I was going to be gaining from those investments. I chose it because I valued something more.
Now, I also want to be clear that I don’t think someone should choose to coach instead of having an IRA or instead of eating. Eat, for sure, definitely. If that’s what you want. But what I do is recognize, because I’ve had that experience so I’m so grateful for it now, that it is their choice. It is a choice, and that some people might want to choose it because they might value coaching more, just like me.
Many of you, when you’re fearing and judging circumstances you associate with poorness, miss this opportunity. You miss this potential, this choice. So, here are a few things to know.
Number one, poor people are sometimes happy. They are also sometimes unhappy. But the poorness didn’t create that. And if you were ever poor, it wouldn’t create your unhappiness either. Your mind does. Life is always 50-50. When you’re poor and when you’re rich.
Number two, some people would choose less of society’s standards, and for many reasons. It’s not even your job to know what those are. It’s just your job not to decide they wouldn’t.
Number three, everything happens for us and there is a lot to learn in the hardest times. When I was really poor, I used to borrow my friend’s food stamps card and, like, try and get a week’s worth of food on $11, like the $11 she had left after feeding her and her child. Or I would drive 10 miles to get a $6 from my serving job to eat. This taught me problem-solving skills.
It taught me how to stretch my money. Now I have a super-lean business and 68% profit because of that. And in general, I just have a mind that is willing to work harder to figure things out. Like, I see other people give up long before my mind has even thought of there not being a solution.
In fact, I have recently realized that my brain almost always believes there is some type of solution. I really believe I can solve the unsolvable. And I think it comes from having little to work with and far to go.
I know I’ve told this story before, but when I was coaching and really struggling with not having money, I would even know that my account was going to overdraft and I got smart and figured out that I could go to the ATM, and if there was $20 in there, I could go withdraw $200 out, only get one overdraft fee, and then use the cash for the next week until I got paid.
Like, that is hustle, people. Don’t tell me that I can’t meet people, tell them I’m a life coach and make offers to help them. I’m over here hustling the bank to survive. This is the school of hard knocks. Rock bottom, often the easiest place to start because you have nothing to lose. Like, what was I going to lose? I was already in debt. My credit already sucked. I already had no furniture. I already had no financial security. I already couldn’t afford things most people had.
And so, I was also unattached to all of those things. I was already living and managing my life with so much less than other people had. I was really free. I was free to make bold choices with high risk. I was free to go all in.
Some of you have so much resistance to poverty or living below life standards that you are chained. You are more unfree than poor people. Your comfort keeps you from going all in. You’re like a fat lion who just ate a deer and who has lived in an area where deer are always plentiful.
You aren’t the hungry lion living at the end of the Lion King where Scar has scorched the earth and depleted all the resources. When that’s your reality, you will get to work. You will hustle whatever you’ve got to hustle to get there, to get out of it. And you will learn that lesson from that moment on. You’re like, you can figure out any situation is figureoutable.
So, that’s number four. Is that number four or number five? Where am I at? I think this is number four. Poor has advantages. Living with less has advantages. The leaner you can live, the bolder you can live. Even now, if I lost everything, I know exactly how to get back to my hustle and I don’t fear starting over.
And I was also a nomad for several years. I don’t know if y’all know that. Meaning I had no home for several years. I had a storage unit and a suitcase with a season full of clothes, and a car, my very old car, my 20 year old car and a trunk full of mattress pad sheets, a blanket, some pillows, and a set of $20 Walmart pots and pans and my set of Master Cut 2 knives that I would pitch in department stores.
And when I was pitching, I would travel all over. And sometimes, we would stay in fancy beach houses in California and high rises in New York City or a lake house in Orlando. But most of the time, I was in, like, little Podunk towns. That’s what we call them here in Kentucky. And I would stay in extended stay hotels. They were even called extended Stays or, like, The Value Place.
And I would take all their sheets off, put my little mattress pad on, cook me dinner, and try to sleep through the night with their thin-ass walls. But in that experience, I still look even back to that with fondness because I learned that I could be free of all material things.
Like, even though I spent a lot of money on clothes and things now, it could also all burn tomorrow and I would be mentally fine. I really genuinely have that freedom. My fiancé is always struck, and sometimes offended by my lack of attachment to physical things. Like, I don’t get attached to mementos, you know, like cards or heirlooms that are passed down from relatives.
Like, I just learned how to have just me and for that to be enough. And when I started coaching and I had no furniture and no money and no security, no financial security, I felt secure. I didn’t have financial security. I learned that I didn’t need those things to have a clean mind and coach someone else and give them value.
I could help someone process an emotion, feel on purpose, grow their awareness, think on purpose, get out of their being a victim to their life and create what they want intentionally without having a fancy dress, without having a fancy background for my video, without having lots of money to prove my success because I wasn’t defining success with money or things or presentation.
A lot of you all try to manipulate your clients’ thoughts about you and your success by your style and your presentation of things. And it’s just not necessary. You can do it if you have it, but it’s not necessary. It’s not what creates value. And it isn’t what sells life coaching.
I loved my life. I loved where it was. I loved where it was going, so I had a lot to offer. Many of my clients had lots of money and were spiritually empty. And many of my clients had no money and were spiritually empty. We have a lot of emptiness going on in the world and it actually has nothing to do with money.
So, that’s number five, I think. I’m losing count now. But that’s number five. Money and material things does not equal value. So, those of you who are poor now, again, this is a construct, but if you consider yourself poor now, the two biggest battles you likely have to fight are these. Number one, believing you don’t have value because your life doesn’t look like the standard of society and what has been labeled successful.
So, you’re thinking about what you don’t have to offer, not what you do have to offer. And number two, you have resistant thoughts about your life too. So, you believe your life would be much better if you were somewhere different with something different, like money. And you don’t love your life now, but you’re trying to sell life coaching, which is trying to sell other people on loving their life.
So yes, you can be poor and also still believe all your clients’ money stories. So, being poor in itself isn’t going to make it non-resistant to their circumstances as well if you are resisting where you’re at. If you have their same resistance, if you feel the same lack they feel, if you have the same self-concept as them and the same self-beliefs, reacting to your mental picture of the correct standard, believing you have nothing to teach them when your life is like theirs.
You have to know, there is no correct standard. So, whether you’re rich, poor, or in between, in your mind or circumstantially, your job is to work through all the money circumstances, all the life standards of what you think you need to have to be happy and safe. You’ve got to work through all of your resistance to the lack of those things.
You have to work to a place where you can really see it as neutral, meaning there is literally a number in your bank account and you feel neutral, you feel nothing, you have the power to just decide how to think and feel.
I remember that moment for me. I remember looking at my account and seeing red numbers, you know, the negative ones. And I remember the moment exactly where I was, in Michigan. It was snowing outside. I’m sitting on my current boyfriend’s dining room table looking at the computer screen. I’m about to go to work. I’m looking at a negative number.
And my body wants to freak out. My brain wants to freak out. And I stop myself and I find sufficiency in that moment. I’m like, I have clothing right now. I have shelter right now. I have an opportunity to make money today. I have a place to sleep tonight. I will have food tonight. And I’m just not tied to this number.
And I remember having the thought, with the coaching tools I have and what I know now about life and the journey I’m on now, I could live in a box and be happy. I had that moment. It was like I just transcended my attachment to money creating my happiness and I have been free, relatively free ever since, on that deep base level.
This is not easy work. Money plays this role in our society where it means survival. So, lack thereof often puts us in fight or flight for ourselves or others. But as long as you carry fear or resistance to debt, or homelessness, or lack of savings and retirement, lack of material things, as long as you judge poor as bad and insufficient, you will have your selling and your coaching muddied.
You will make your own decisions out of fear in an effort to maintain safety and security for your own life. You will think about how not to be poor instead of how to be rich. And that has a completely different vibration, how not to be poor versus how to be rich. And thinking about how not to be poor, how not to have these circumstances that you think are bad and resist will only create more lack of money and those material things that you think you need to be happy.
And even if you don’t coach on money, for all you coaches out there, you don’t coach coaches, you don’t coach finances, you don’t coach business, you don’t coach money, you should be prepared to coach your clients on money. If they are overweight and they say can’t afford coaching, it’s interesting to see them prioritize money over health.
I’m always curious why. What are they believing? When they prioritize money or material things over their marriage, I’m always curious. When people would rather have an IRA and zero balance on their credit card, rather than the emotional peace they are seeking that will make them well in their mind, I am curious. Not judgmental. Curious.
What are they believing? It’s possible they’re believing money creates my safety and security. Not having money is bad. Not having things is bad. Being rich is better. I will suffer. I can’t be happy and not have society’s or my own standards. I need those to be happy. I’m currently happy because of those things.
Maybe they’re thinking money creates my health and my opportunity. They don’t know that their mind creates all of it and their mind is the solution to all of it. They don’t know that they can have all of it.
If you teach someone that they can lose weight with their mind, do you think that they’ll believe that they can also make money with their mind? Or just create a different net worth with their mind, even if they have a job and it’s a salary job and they’re not an entrepreneur?
Once you teach them they can create one result with their mind, you are essentially empowering them to believe they can create any result with their mind. But before you can teach someone the lesson of finding happiness and peace in your mind, and to create those feelings on purpose, you have to be able to find the emotions you want to feel and experience life the way you want to experience it first without your money situation changing.
You’ve got to clean it all up. And when you do, here’s what will happen. You will listen instead of judge and fear what your client is afraid of. All the objections they have, there will be a moment where instead of reacting and fearing about yourself or them, you will be listening and you will have a question to ask them from curiosity.
You’ll start to see everything as choice. You will see your client’s potential for resourcefulness, power, ownership, and freedom when they come on tough times. And you will not try to do the work for them to get them out of it. You won’t see loss of money as a reason to quit coaching or anything. Quit any journey that they’re on, or lack of money as a reason not to get started.
You will call them on their bullshit. I remember doing a consult once with a client and her husband, dear god, not recommended. Never do a consult with your client and their partner or spouse. And I remember her husband butted in and said, “Well, if this doesn’t work, we won’t have money to pay for our kids’ Christmas gifts.”
And I said, I took a deep breath and I said, “That is not true and we both know it. You would never wager your kids’ Christmas on an investment.” And I was right. He was trying to make me feel pressure and telling himself and his wife that the money decision was between Christmas gifts for the kids or Diva Business School. Bullshit.
Calling it like I see it, my friends. I was right of course. They were never going to do that. It was never that serious. He was creating a serious situation in his mind.
Here’s what you will also do. You will also hold them accountable. I recently had a client tell me that her client forgot, forgot that she owed the other half of her coaching and couldn’t pay the other half of her coaching because she also had this unexpected business expense.
And my client was all in the drama about whether to fight for her client or not, about what to say, and the reason she was struggling was because she herself had money fears about potentially not making enough money in her mind to keep investing in her business, and this fear took her down a rabbit hole of indecision and fear around coaching her client around her client’s stuff instead of holding her client accountable.
And when I was reading it, my question when I was not being wrapped up in fearing that client would quit and then my client would also have less money, when I wasn’t having resistance to thinking about her circumstance wrapped up in my own, my thought was what’s happening with her money as a business owner? She forgot money she owes.
What is happening in the coaching? In her thoughts about the coaching and the value of coaching that she forgot she owed money. And what is happening with her money management that she isn’t prepared for an unexpected expense?
And not from like, judgment but just what is happening. There is something happening there. There is something happening with her own managing of her money in her business and in her life, there’s something happening with her belief in the value of coaching. There’s something that’s happening in her brain that she’s forgetting and not anticipating and not accounting.
That’s what I’m curious about. And when you aren’t resistant to lack of money, you can get to the heart of the matter so much quicker with such laser focus that your next question will be a transformation for them.
What you will also have happen is you will be willing for them to spend money and not get a result. What? Some of you get so caught up on someone spending money and not getting the result that they came for in such a way that it is actually a detriment to you and them.
So what? People blow their money all the time. I’m not afraid of blowing mine and I’m not afraid of blowing yours. More will come. What comes of that, when you have that mentality is you stop hustling for your clients and you give them the ability to hustle for themselves. You give them the option. You give them the opportunity to hustle for themselves.
So I’ll tell you one last story. I joined The Life Coach School right before my coach added a business segment to her coach training. This was many years ago. She had added it right after the class – the class right after mine. And when I found out, I was actually out there failing on my own in my business. I think I got an email where she was offering it or something.
And I was out there failing, and so I wrote her and I told her I really needed that training and I had invested so much, and I even offered to pay her the difference and she just wrote back no, sorry, I didn’t offer that for your class. And you know what, after I stopped being a victim, I went out and I figured it out.
And I failed so much that I am now the leading coach in this entire industry on teaching life coaches how to make money and build businesses. Brooke didn’t hustle for me. So I then got to go out and hustle for myself. If she had felt sorry for me because I was poor and because I was having a hard time in my business, because I was failing, because I wasn’t getting the results, and gave me that training, I might have believed that training created my results instead of me.
I might have sat in that training and waited for it to work for me. But instead, I got resourceful. I hired a business coach, I got in a business mastermind, and I started doing the work. And I created the result. And I never made her or any other coach responsible for my results ever again.
Oh and also, she almost sent me to a creditor for money I owed her for coach training. Well, her company. Not her. Guess what, that taught me to honor my business money, to treat my business like a business. To not feel sorry for my clients who have had a hard time paying. It was transformational.
From that moment on, for myself to come up with the money and put myself on a deadline to create it and I did it, and to take it seriously and for my own business in the future, it felt like the most compassionate thing she could have ever done.
Making me accountable for my money, not giving me the extra training, the most compassionate thing she ever did. I want you all to think about that. Holding your clients accountable, not being willing to let them spend money and not get the result, not hustling for them, calling them on their bullshit, not seeing their lack of money as a reason to quit or as a reason to not get started, all of that, seeing everything as a choice, what if that’s the most compassionate thing you could ever do?
I really want you to think about that. You can only find it, the most compassionate thing you could ever do, if you clean your thoughts up about homelessness, about debt, about not having money for food, about not having money for your kid’s college, about not having money in your account, about not having money in retirement, about not having a house.
Remember, I lived in an apartment. I was making $300,000 a year and I was still living in an apartment, still driving my 10-year-old Toyota Camry. I had released myself from the fear and the resistance to poverty. When you clean your shit up, you’re going to be able to clean up everything and everybody else around you.
This is the work we do in 2K and 200K. We clean up our stuff so we can have more compassion for our clients. We do this with the clean selling part of the 2K for 2K process. We do this in the money mastery course. We do this every single day in our community and inside Ask a Coach.
And when we coach on these topics live every single week, you must do this work. You must do it now for yourself and your clients. And if you want help, join us in 2K. Alright, I’ll see you next week.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.