Ep #21: The Value of a Coach

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Welcome to episode 21. I’m so excited for what we have planned today. We’re going to be talking about the value of a coach. But first, I want to shout-out my client Kelly Hollingsworth. She said, “Hey all, I’m an established coach but I just joined Stacey’s program to work on belief. It’s working. Last week I signed a single corporate client for $100,000. Just wanted to share this with you. If you’re not sold, your prospects won’t be either.”

Kelly, I am so freaking excited for you. What? That blows my mind to what’s possible. $100,000 client. Y’all thought 2K for 2K was just this little oh I’m going to go make 2K. Nope. This is serious money that we’re making here y’all. Okay, I’m a little bit feisty today.

So, let’s dive in. Let’s talk about the value of a coach. What do you value in life? I want you to really think about it. What is valuable to you and why? And have you ever taken the time to really think about why a coach is valuable to you? People love the way that I sell coaching and teach others to sell coaching, but I can sell it so well because I understand the value of it. There is nothing I value more or prioritize over investing in coaching.

And I have been thinking about this a lot, like why it’s so easy for me, and it really just all boils down to it’s my thoughts about coaching. It’s always our thoughts and my experiences with coaching and my results from getting coached. So today, I want to share with you my thoughts on the value of a coach.

Having a coach will change your life. My client Lindsey explained it best when she explained our coaching three years ago. I think three years ago when we started, she said it’s like talking with your best friend every week, except she has all the answers. And to me, that was my introduction to coaching. That’s exactly what I thought life coach was and to be fair, I also want to be clear that I just hired a standard life coach.

She had no niche, like I just thought life coaches just help you with all of your life. That was my thought. But having a coach for me was like having my very own personal champion. Someone who had my best interest at heart and even when what was in my best interest was hard and scary and very uncomfortable.

When you’re going through the hard growth, there is nothing more valuable than going through it with someone who has wisdom, perspective, and very sound judgment, especially if you have a cray cray mind like mine. Think about this. A coach comes from love and belief and for who you want to be in the future. Every conversation that you have with the coach is a reset to what is possible every time.

It’s an hour a week where you focus on believing and making decisions for the person you want to be and the life you want to create. How valuable is that at creating the result you want to create? Having that hour for two people’s minds to focus on what you want. How valuable is creating the result you want in your life? That’s a question you have to answer for yourself for sure, and what you definitely have to get your client to answer for themselves if you’re on a call with them.

Having a coach also means hearing the truth, even when it’s hard. The most powerful thing that you’re ever going to hear is, “You are wrong.” It’s the best news ever. Because if you’re wrong, you have room to grow, room to evolve, and possibility for new results. When you’re right about your shitty situation, there is no solution because you’re right.

A coach challenges you to be wrong, to think differently than you’ve ever thought. One single shift in thought can change your entire life. When you have a coach, you have these shifts over and over and over. They compound. They become entire belief systems. And when you change your belief system, you change everything in your life.

You can change your weight, your income, your marriage, your sex life, your relationship with your family, your productivity. I remember working with Lauren Cash this past year and one time she started the call with, “So tell me why you didn’t get the assignment done. Tell me about that.” And I was stunned and really defensive and I had all of the great reasons why I didn’t get it done.

I felt almost like a victim and like, how dare you press me on this issue that I couldn’t control, right? What she really helped me do is change my belief system around time, and help me stop being a victim to my time and take a really hard look in the mirror at the excuses I was giving myself and make changes. It was profound.

My coach Brooke talked about busyness at master coach training. She said, “Everyone’s always saying they’re busy. I’m never busy. I have plenty of time to walk around with my dogs and chat with my friends and go to lunch and think about my business.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, just that comment shifted who I wanted to be in the world in an instant.

It brought me awareness to something I didn’t even realize was there. And from that moment on, I didn’t want to ever say again I was busy or blame business or be a busy person ever again. She was an example of who I wanted to be in the world to me, and no one had ever modeled that for me in my life, ever.

Like literally, think about everybody talks about how busy it is and they wear it as a badge of honor. From that moment on, I wanted to slow down and enjoy my life and be present with it, and I wanted to wear that as a badge of honor. That blew my freaking mind. Oh wait, it could be a badge of honor to not be busy? That could be something that I am proud of.

And in a few months, it has seriously changed my business, my life, my relationships, and for sure, my amount of anxiety that I feel on a daily basis. Busy creates a lot of anxiety, y’all. And just a side note, I recognize this in other entrepreneurs now. I’m working on picking a wedding planner and I had three picked out and one of them’s Instagram I loved more than all of the others.

And I was like – she’s done my wedding event like, a million times. It’s almost all of her Instagram is my wedding venue. And I wanted to work with her so bad and we tried to schedule a call and then she got confused on the time and we missed the call and then we tried to schedule another call and then she got busy again, and every time I talk to her it was about how busy they were and about wedding season, it was just so busy.

I mean, I can talk to you at this time but then I’m pretty busy this week. And my experience of her was like, oh, I don’t want someone who’s busy planning my wedding. And what was so fascinating is that in her busyness and in her frustration because she’s so busy of missing times and getting the times mixed up, she blamed my business and my assistant and was rude to him on the phone and just cut him off and it was super curt and was rude to me and sent me this whole email about how my business got the time wrong and all this stuff and I just thought like, that’s not who I want to work with. I don’t want to work with someone that’s busy.

So that was a little bit of a tangent, but I just want to say like, the difference, that – I’m so glad that my coach brought that into my awareness because I have been that entrepreneur, and I think that has probably pushed so many clients away from me in the past of being too busy. And it’s not made me a great leader, so think about the value of a coach, one sentence they say to you could change everything in your business and everything in your life and bring clients pouring into you and stop you from pushing clients away, and it can also change your buying decisions.

When I think back to another wedding planner that I met, she was so chill on our calls, like so calm, so collected, nothing was ever urgent, nothing was ever crazy, and I thought – now I’m thinking back and I’m like, well, that’s for sure the one I go with, right?

So a coach just helps you change things you didn’t even know you needed changing. They show up as an example of what is possible and then you get to decide if you want that possibility for yourself. But just one interaction with them can change you forever. One sentence you say can change your clients forever.

I always tell my clients, “This is just the beginning.” I remind them of that constantly for everything. When things are bad, when things are good, I’m always stating, this is just the beginning, this is just the beginning. One of my clients recently got it tattooed on her arm. It really showed me the impact of what we say as coaches on the lives of our clients.

And she really is living the result of that belief, truly. It’s not just a mantra that she’s adopting. She recently posted that she’s saved her house from foreclosure, saved her broken marriage, became an entrepreneur, paid off 30K of debt in five months with a combined income of 70K in her household, invested so much time and money in her mindset, even when the money wasn’t there, left her corporate job.

And what I know of her is that she’s making at least 50K already this year in the first four months, and she’s on the way to a 100K year. So, me saying that helped her create that reality for herself, that this is just the beginning of her life, her story, her transformation of who she’ll be.

So many people think of this stage of their life that they’re in as being the ending, that there’s no way that they could have a completely different life and they accept that this life is just the life they were given and it’s too late or it would take too much effort to change it. A coach introduces you to the idea of nothing being impossible, and that shift in your mind will change every decision you will ever make in your life.

What you say to your clients and what you hear from your coach is profound. And then when you do have those momentous changes in your life, your coach is there to celebrate you and make sure that you find the pride and the accomplishment that your brain is going to want to discredit and say isn’t that big of a deal. A coach helps remind you that you’ve done big things, that it wasn’t a fluke and my favorite that my coach recently told me is more big things are coming.

That’s an amazing thought. And I think for me, one of the most powerful things about my early coaching was my coach always pointed out constantly all of the areas I had grown and changed. Like, the tiniest things. She’d be like, hey, do you remember just two weeks ago you were thinking this, or just a month ago you were right there and now you’re doing this. She was always reminding me that I was getting closer and it was working so I didn’t miss it.

And because of that, I kept going. Think about this; what is the value of not quitting, of not falling off for a month here or there, of not losing six months to personal matters or having a chaotic year and just kind of putting things on hold? If you never did that, if your clients never did that, because they had the support of a coach pointing out how they were prioritizing and thinking and helping them manage the stress of their life and helping them say yes to themselves over and over, helping them keep moving forward even when it feels impossible, picking them up when they fail, lifting them high in their belief every week, what would that do in six months, in a year, in two years, in three years?

A coach keeps you in massive action, and massive action is the only way that you achieve your results. The reason people don’t achieve the results, the reason diets don’t work, the reason marriages don’t turn around, the reason people don’t make money is because they don’t stay in massive action because they can’t keep themselves inspired enough to stay in massive action.

But where would you mind be after that level of work every week for years? You would see the entire world differently. You would be living a completely different world than everybody else, playing a different game with different rules. That’s what it felt like for me. I feel like I played the game everyone else was playing in life and it wasn’t working for me and I was getting nowhere, and now I’m not even playing the same sport, the same arena.

I feel like we’re on just on an island by myself with all the other coach entrepreneurs. And you know what else I also think working with a coach saves you other than failure and quitting on yourself is something that I consider the most valuable resource we have is time. Grant Cardone said the most expensive way to learn is through experience.

I want to put this into perspective for you. If you’re ever saying I just need to try it on my own for a while, you’re learning the most expensive way you can learn. Anything that you do, I’m just going to do it on my own, it’s the most expensive way to learn. When your clients tell you that, like, I’ve never actually handled this objection this way, it’s just hitting me right now in this moment, but if your client says I’m just going to try it on my own for a while, you can just say, you know, that’s the most expensive way to try something.

The most expensive way to learn is through your own experience on your own. It will literally take you 10 times more time and it will cost you more money. And I’d be interested, even if it’s not a business client, if it’s a weight client for example or a marriage client, what’s the money it’s going to cost them? It will cost them money. Think about that. Where will it cost them time and money?

For me, it’s why I created for my 2K program, I created this book called the consultation code because I know how expensive it is to learn consults through experience. So I really wanted to limit the learning curve for my students. I wanted them to be able to learn from 50 consults in a few hours, like, however long it takes them to read the book.

It’s a 200 page book, however long it takes them to read 200 pages, couple hours, couple days, I want them to be able to have that knowledge in that amount of time. Like, have it all at their fingertips so that they can see the patterns that show up on consults and where their peers get stuck and how I coach them through it, how their peers tackle objections.

When you can learn that in a few hours or a few days, or even a few months, it’s going to save you years of trial and error-ing consults. Not even counting the money. It’s going to save you years of time. The exhaustion – we literally work ourselves into exhaustion because we don’t learn from our failures, because we’re trying to do it on our own that we exhaust ourselves and quit on ourselves before we ever even get a result that feels like we’re moving forward.

And that’s just the energy that we’re exhausting ourselves with, it doesn’t count the money we’re missing out on. And I don’t think that’s just for business coaches or for entrepreneurs. The idea of saving time and money, my buying habits after coaching – coaching outside of my business, the coaching I’ve gotten on my own personal life are so different.

I buy way less just having gotten coached. I don’t go to Target anymore and just Target retail therapy. I don’t eat flour and sugar anymore so basically we only shop in the meat and produce and dairy sections of the grocery store. There’s very little now that I can like, buy like this looks good. I’m very limited in that stuff.

So our grocery bill has gone down, I don’t overeat so our grocery bill has also gone down. I don’t buffer with shopping like I used to. I don’t even like to go to the mall anymore. I actually worked with Shira Gill on minimizing my things in my house and organizing my closet and she coached me so good that it changed my buying habits forever.

I am so much more deliberate about my purchases now. I only have a few places I like to shop and she taught me deeply about fewer, nicer things. That’s like, my motto now. And my coach Brooke taught me about limiting the amount of coaches I work with and constraint so I don’t buy 10 million programs. I’m even minimal in how I invest.

And then just think about the time that I don’t spend shopping. Like, I don’t hang out at TJ Maxx anymore. My habits as a human have completely shifted and it has nothing to do with my business. You know what I spent my time doing now? Walking my dog, serving my clients, creating in my business, dating my fiancé, going to yoga or the trainer, traveling, reading, growing, watching Game of Thrones.

But things I really – that make me feel fuller. I minimalized all the things that were keeping me busy. It’s so valuable. That’s the value of a coach. It just changes all of your priorities for how you spend your time, your money, how you prioritize things. Coaches also help you feel your emotions. All of them. The good, the bad.

When you’re willing to feel anything, this also changed my life, being able to feel an urge. You will be willing to do anything. The urge to go scroll on Facebook instead of recording a podcast. An urge to say, eat a candy bar, right? It helped me stop eating sugar and flour and be in a body that I love every day.

And for me, it isn’t even just the value of being skinny. I’m actually experiencing less inflammation in my body, less acid reflux, I’m sleeping better, I have more energy. That, in my life, means more time and energy to spend with my clients and creating things like this podcast.

Some of you – I always teach this concept in my 2K for 2K called building the vision. Some of you get really confused on what that is or it feels really rote and it feels just like, almost phony. But it’s just because you’re not pushing your brain to really go to the impact of coaching, the impact of the things you’re offering, what that would be.

You’re not thinking about your weight coaching being that if you stop eating sugar and flour, not only will you be skinny but you might actually experience less inflammation, less acid reflux, sleep better, have more energy, I don’t get as bloated when I fly anymore. That’s what I talk about. That’s what I mean when I’m talking about build the vision.

But you have to go there and know that that is the value of what you offer. You have to do that work in your brain to ask yourself these types of questions and then go there and think about it. So a coach helps you do the things that are hard to do because you’re willing to feel all of the hard stuff.

And here is really the thing; when you want a result that you don’t have yet, you don’t have it because you aren’t the person who has it, and you have to grow to become that person. You have to think differently, you have to feel differently, you have to do different things. It’s one of the most painful things we as humans encounter is massive growth.

The whole time you’re growing, you are in fight or flight. Your brain is like, fighting to keep normality, to keep you safe, because it thinks that that is what’s going to keep you alive. So I actually think the most invaluable thing a coach helps you do is navigate the pain of growth so you don’t give up halfway and turn around and go through the growing pains for nothing. That is what I do with my clients. I am willing to stay with them as long as they need to get to the other side.

Another thing that I think a coach does that I think if you could boil all coaching down to this one thing, are you ready for it? I think a coach simply helps you be more alive. A great question ask yourself is what is the value of being more alive? What is the value of not just existing? Listen, if you want to sell life coaching, you have to know the answer to that. It’s so important.

Okay, another thing I think makes a coach so valuable is in a society where we feel so isolated as humans, working with a coach helps you feel less alone in this world. As a client, I do magical things when I feel seen and supported by my coach and I see other coaches thrive with the infusion of love and support that they get from me as a coach, but also in the community of other people getting coached.

As a coach in general, it can be a lonely business and as an entrepreneur, I think when no one else you know is going through what you’re going through, it’s a godsend to surround yourself with people on the same journey. I have this client Amanda. She joined my 200K mastermind in January.

I don’t know if she’ll remember this. I told her on our intro call, one of the biggest things I think she needed to grow and she needed to make more money was a community of people to support her, of people going through the same thing, of other people getting coached with her. I felt her isolation as an entrepreneur on the call. It turns out I was right. She’s going to make 100K this year after surrounding herself with a group of women and a coach all with the same goal.

Because here’s what happens in your brain when you try and do something out of your normal social circle; your brain thinks you’re going to die. So many coaches avoid announcing their business, they avoid posting on social media, they avoid telling their friends and family, and if they do, they don’t talk about who they’re becoming in a serious way.

It’s not like an actual – toe half in, right? Because of all the fear. The brain thinks if you step outside of your social circle, you’re going to be exiled from the pack. And that in early human days meant death from starvation and cold, and we think that’s what’s going to happen. We will be socially exiled and left alone, so having a coach and a community to turn to is everything.

And then one of my favorite things that I think makes a coach so valuable is the way they see you. I do this with my clients. I always think about them in the future. I imagine them as their highest self, their future self. I treat them as if they’re already that person now. I go to work for that, to be their identity in my brain.

And then they hear me speak about them in that way or speak to them in that way and they start to wonder if it’s true, and possibility sneaks in and their mind opens up. You know, I think one of the hardest things is that when we’re trying to change and we’re surrounded by people who see us as we’ve always been, and that’s someone who isn’t a life coach and probably someone who might have been a hot mess in the past with problems.

So they’re like, what? You? You’re going to be a life coach? And seriously, because that’s what most of us are as humans, hot messes, right? Maybe you’ve even been someone that has been straight-laced and goes with the grain and maybe you’ve always been someone who is shy and introverted and never leaves your house and your family and friends and coworkers think it’s hysterical that you want to be an entrepreneur.

They’re like, really? You? And you’re like, yeah, that’s right. And a coach is going to hold that identity for you. It’s like, I just like to think about it’s like, you and me in the room and I got you. I believe you can do it, and that’s all that matters, you and I.

Okay, so now I have to talk about something I haven’t mentioned yet that I think most people don’t consider when buying coaching and selling coaching. Having a coach is fun. Like, that is sometimes the predominant deciding factor for me in buying a coach, it’s having one is fun. The value of fun in your life is beyond measure.

But you don’t really understand it I think until you live it. When your brain is actually happy, it thinks clearer, it problem solves easier, it handles things better, it comes up with ideas and you have more energy to show up. Listen, I actually think a lot of you don’t have this kind of relationship with your clients that’s fun and inspiring and best friends creating magic in the universe and I think it’s why it’s hard for you to sell and why it’s hard for your clients to do and why they don’t continue coaching is it always feels like this heavy thing they’re doing.

They don’t look forward to the calls. They kind of dread them. I have a really high retention rate with my clients because I have so much fun with them. It doesn’t mean we hang out all the time, but it means I’m playful in my coaching, they see my heart, and I spoil them rotten. I like to do VIP events with my 200K masterminds, the people who continue on into their next mastermind.

I just took them to my last class, I took them to Miami and we had the most fun, and it reminded me that changing your life can be fun. It can blow your minds to what’s possible. You can have experiences you never expected before. Achieving your dream results can be super hard, but it can also be the time of your life.

I used to do VIP events where I could take clients to Aspen and Laguna and Miami and I would spent four days just taking them and putting them in the most high vibe places ever and having so much fun and like, bringing the gratitude times 100 and then when their energy was that high, we’d make all the decision for their business in one fell swoop and they would be in the best place and we would have so much fun and we would laugh until our stomachs hurt, and it was just the most exciting thing, and life coaching can be that way.

Having your coach by your side can be everything. I want you to think about this for you. Are you having fun? Are your clients having fun? Now I want you to think about what is the value of more time, more money, more presence, more experiences in your life, better decisions, more compassion, resilience, gratitude, courage, discipline, more love and understanding.

What is the value of getting where you’re going 100 times faster? Or feeling more alive every day, of being healthier in your mind and body and spirit? Of having someone believe in you when you don’t? This, my friend, you have to know the answer to for you because if you don’t understand the value, you can’t sell it, and you can’t give that to your clients.

I had a realization this last year like, some time last year, maybe six or eight months ago, that because of coaching, because of the time and money freedom I have, I get to live more. I remember only being able to take the free vacations that my sales job awarded me once a year. That was all I could do.

My vacation was wherever they chose and it was the best thing in the world, and the only reason I got to go is because they paid for it. And I remember getting to shop for clothes for one season each year. So I would alternate. So like, it would be winter one year, spring one year, summer the next year. I remember getting to see my partner only at the end of the night when we were both exhausted from working.

I remember getting to spend 30 minutes a day with Bear and I’m a crazy dog mom so I used to be like, “Bear, I promise, one day we’re going to have a bigger house with a bigger yard and we’re going to be able to spend lots of time together.” Crazy dog mom, seriously. But now I get to take 20 to 30 trips a year. I get to see my spouse all day every day.

And some of you might be thinking, oh my god, that sounds awful to me, but I want to see him every day all day because that’s also the relationship I have. I can’t get enough of him. I get to go on hour-long walks with my dog multiple times a day. I get to have the most extraordinary wedding.

Like, I was actually telling my friends wedding planning is fun when you’re rich. You can just – there’s no drama about the money. You’re like, yeah, I want this, I want this, I want this, it’s going to be so fun. I just need to sit back and enjoy it. I get to hire people to help me do it, it’s not stressful at all. It’s the best thing.

That, to me is the value of a coach and it hit me. This is the whole point I’m telling you this is it hit me that I will do more in one year than the average person will get to do in a lifetime. I will make more money, travel more, sleep more, exercise more, think more, feel more, create more, experience more. More laughter, more tears, more joy and disappointment, more friendships. I will impact more people in just one year than other people will in their entire lives.

One year of my life feels like five years in one. And at the end of my life, coaching, getting coached will allow me to feel like I have lived 250 years on this planet in this human experience, which I love because of coaching. Then I think like, what is the value of 250 years of experiences and fulfillment before you die?

I’m going to leave you with that answer. I want you to think about that for you. What’s the answer to that question? How valuable is more years of your life for you? Alright, have an amazing week.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.