Ep #257: What to Do When You’re Stuck

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey, coaches, welcome to episode 257. My first lesson for today’s episode is, check your mic settings if you have a podcast. I almost recorded this entire episode and my mic was not hooked up. I’m having issues with my mics lately. I’m going to need to get a new one. I have something called a scarlet. So everything’s plugged into this thing called the scarlet and it’s like a mini soundboard. I’m always struggling to find the words for things. It’s like a mini soundboard or something. I don’t know what the actual technical term for it is, but it’s been going in and out.

And I have to just unplug it and plug it back in every time I use it. It’s very annoying. But I almost recorded this episode and it was not connected, it was not showing. Thank God that Zencastr, that’s who I recorded through, shows a flat line if sound is not happening and I need to fix it. But there have been many times in the past where I did not know and where I did not check and I just trusted and then my producer would respond back and say, “And it’s blank.”

So always check your mic settings, no matter if you are on 257 episodes and you think you’re good to go, always check your mic settings. So I’m recording this to you right before I leave for Thanksgiving. If you are in America and you celebrate Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving. For us we more so celebrate just getting together with family and being thankful for them. But that’s what I’m getting ready to do. And I wanted to just give a shout out to all the moms who might be multitasking or showing up and doing hard things because today is one of those days for me.

My son is going through an 18 month sleep regression and I just got ran through the dirt last night. My husband got it the night before. And so just there always needs to be one of us I feel at all times who’s had sleep functioning for the whole family, representing the family and being well slept. So last night was my night and man, he took me through it. So I did my first coaching call today with one of my coaches and looked like a straight up hot mess then I showered and got myself together.

I’ve had two hours of sleep and I have that headache you get from not sleeping but I slap my makeup on, put on a cute outfit and I was like, “Damn, I know how to transform myself.” I know how to show up and look good even when I’ve had no sleep. And now I have the baby on the monitor hoping he doesn’t wake up for his nap before I finish recording this. So I’m telling you this because if you feel like mumming and having a business is hard, I feel you on a level that I have not felt you before until this moment, I have been humbled.

But I just need to give you a shout out for continuing to show up, continuing to do it without sleep, continuing to do it while you might be multitasking. Me too, sister, I’m here with you together. Let’s do this. Let’s talk about how to get out of being unstuck. What to do when you’re stuck and how to get out of it.

I was coaching a client on this in one of my programs a couple of weeks ago. And I gave her some of this coaching, but I also said I would think about it and I would do a podcast because I think that’s the beauty of this podcast is it’s additional support for my students as well when we talk about things. And I’m like, “You know what, I think everybody could use this message. So let me think about it, make a podcast and it will serve everyone from here on out.” So that’s what we’re going to do.

So she was feeling stuck. And although you guys see me, I think, sometimes very polished and experienced and at the end of, not at the end of my journey, but kind of at the end of my journey. It’s always the beginning of another journey. But you’re seeing me at the end of what you might be imagining is the place you want it to be. And so I just look very well put together. But I think it’s a misconception because I have been stuck so many times.

I have done the episode about digging myself out of a hole, I’ve done that so many times. I have been there. I cannot stress to you the amount of times even now at the stage I’m in, in my business, the places I’ve felt stuck, and the amount of time I’ve been there. We’ve talked about low value cycles. I only know how to teach on these things because I have been there.

So I just want to tell you that from a deep place of, I am going to walk you through 10 things that I think will be really helpful. But there are 10 things that I have done over and over and over that are coming from such a deep place of mastery and from only telling you the things, I’m walking that talk. And so I just want you to know that I have been there so many times.

I think sometimes we think I’m stuck and it’s because of inherently who I am and my inability to become an entrepreneur or be a good entrepreneur or it means something about my ability to be a coach. Or it means something about my coaching. If I’m stuck, I shouldn’t be coaching other people because there’s something wrong with me. And I just want to offer that everyone goes through these cycles, everyone gets stuck. There’s nothing wrong with you. You absolutely should keep coaching through it. And get support on it as you move through it.

So I just want to give you 10 things that I think will be really helpful to get you out of it. But just also tell you and hope that you know to not feel like this is only happening to you. There’s something inherently wrong with you or your coaching or your ability to succeed. Being stuck does not mean that. It just means you’re stuck. What it actually means is you just don’t see a path forward. And so I want to just reframe how you might even talk about it. Instead of saying, “I’m stuck”, say, “I don’t see a path forward.”

Even that right there, I am stuck is just reflecting on how you feel and what you think your current state is. I don’t see a path forward automatically positions you to start looking for a path forward. It already puts you in a better mindset to say, “I just don’t see a path forward.” Versus, I’m stuck, it’s the circumstance and I’m never getting out. The first thing that you have to do when you want to get out of being unstuck and you want to move past being stuck is you have to address the all or nothing thinking that’s happening with being stuck.

I’ve already talked about that a little bit just now with the idea that it’s just lamenting on the circumstance that is immovable of being stuck. But really, what I was talking to my student about was I really like to think about the things, those sentences that we say out loud that are a direct reflection of being in all or nothing thinking and I’m stuck is one of them. It’s a version of it’s not working.

I want to do a separate podcast on just the idea that it’s working and it’s not working are opposite ends of all or nothing thinking. It’s either nothing’s working or everything’s working. So I’ll do a whole episode on that at a later date. But I am stuck is on that side of it’s not working. Nothing is working. I’m immovable. It’s very important to see that it is you being in all or nothing thinking on the nothing end of the spectrum.

It’s a very important thing to just acknowledge, right now when I’m saying I’m stuck, I’m just in all or nothing thinking. I am zooming in, I am lasering in on the nothingness. And then I’m directing my brain to find evidence for the nothingness, for the stuck-ness. What we believe is what we see. So you will find lots of evidence to support it.

Your brain will offer you lots of additional thoughts to support it. It will offer you all of the emotions that come from being stuck, being in the nothingness. And it will offer you lots of gloom and doom to send you further down the hole.

When we talk about digging out of a hole, so much of the hole is created in our minds because we sink further and further and further down into the hole from being in this nothingness stuck thinking. On the end of the spectrum of, it’s either all or it’s nothing, and this is being at the nothingness side of it. So you have to start there. You have to just address that with yourself of, I’m in all or nothing thinking.

And then the second step, once you have awareness around the all or nothing thinking, that you’re stuck in nothingness. The second step to get out of that is you have to evaluate. This is very difficult. It’s very painful when you are telling yourself you are in nothingness, when you are stuck, when you are in the deepest hole, it’s very difficult to say. And there’s a way out because again, inherently you’ve told yourself, I’m stuck, there isn’t a way out. Which is why it’s so powerful to reframe and say, “I just haven’t seen the path forward.” Evaluation gives you the path forward.

For my specific client, what we were coaching on is how many consults she’d done in a row where they were all no’s. She felt like it was the same thing every single time, it was just the same circumstance over and over and over. But one of the things that we dissected is she hadn’t evaluated those individual consults. She hadn’t asked herself for each one right after, what works or what did work, what didn’t work and what she’s going to do differently. And then actually take an action on what she’s going to do differently.

So I gave the example to my audience and I’ve talked about this before on the podcast. When I was pitching, I took this with me into my coaching business, every time I did a show that was below expectation, that missed the mark, I called for an adjustment. I evaluated myself. I took that evaluation to a trainer or a coach, and I worked that evaluation with that person. And we came up with our theory for what we thought went wrong and then we went out and I tried it again. They gave me, here’s what I would do differently and then I went out and tried it again.

And I would do that relentlessly until I figured it out. Sometimes that was 10 shows a day for seven days straight and I didn’t figure it out until the final show of the store run. I remember doing this, I had a store run in Kentucky in a Kroger. I could not figure this store out. I could not figure out how to communicate with the people, how to get them engaged, how to get them buying. Could not figure it out. I called for an adjustment every single time for seven days straight. It was so frustrating.

And at the last show because I didn’t give up, I had 10 x 7, so that’s 70 shows for a store run. I didn’t have 70 of the same shows, which is what would have made me feel stuck. I had 70 very different shows because I kept trying new things every single time. And at the very end I cracked the code and I made $300 in one show which was a lot. But in comparison for an entire week wasn’t very much. But also it did kind of save me, I was on 100% commission. So it was either zero for the week, it wasn’t zero every time, but it was very little.

I was making probably $100 a day or less. I mean it was very little compared to what I normally would make. But that last show brought my revenue up enough to have paid my bills with that week of work. And the most important thing was that then I used to think of them as avatars, how we think of a client avatar. It’s a store avatar. So I now knew from here on out when I go into a store and they behave this way, I now know how to address it.

And that’s the most important thing that you can do on consults, on launches, in your business is create these sort of avatars, launch avatars or client avatars, or situation avatars where you’re like, “When this happens, I now know how to address this broadly.” And I just think that’s so important. It is what made me the best of the best of the best in the entire industry is my ability to do that, to fight to the end. And then take that knowledge on with me to every place I went from that moment on.

So you have to be willing to evaluate what worked, what didn’t work, what I’m going to do differently. And you always start with what worked so that you train your brain to look for all of the things, even if it feels like there’s nothing there, you have to find something in that evaluation. Then once you have what you would do differently, you have to work to believe that that will work because sometimes it’s something very subtle.

I remember one store in Seattle, I got an adjustment and the adjustment was when you’re saying, when you’re telling the audience, you want one and you want one and you want one too, you’re not saying it believably. So people are looking around like I don’t want one. Who wants one here? It’s not me. And I had to work to believe that that would be a big enough shift to move the needle forward. And because I did work to believe that I went up and threw up another show and I sold, I think 35 in one show.

It was one of the biggest shows I’ve ever done but I worked to believe that that would work. The same is true on your consults. It could be something as small as they gave me an objection and I immediately made that mean something about me. I got overwhelmed with my own emotions and I didn’t handle it in my highest power from that moment on. And if you believe that that’s true and then you’re like, “Okay, so here’s what I’m going to do differently.”

And you believe that what you’re going to do differently will work, then you’re going to go in and you’re going to give it your everything, your all. And you are going to do something differently than you did before. It may not close the sale. It may not get you out of being unstuck. This is so important to know. It may not be the lynchpin. It may not be the silver bullet, but it’s something. And what you need when you’re being stuck is you need one thing, one inch moving forward, just need the tiniest, little dial switch and you have to be looking for that.

Sometimes I think what we get into is the silver bullet mindset or I like to think of it as I’m one launch away mentality. So I had a zero on a launch, nobody bought. The only thing that could possibly get me unstuck is if I have the biggest launch ever the next launch. Or if I’ve had 10 consults in a row, the only way to get unstuck is I sign the next client and it’s pay in full. That’s the only way. That’s again, that’s all or nothing thinking versus I’m just looking for something to move the dial forward. It’s great if I do not get out of the park in the next launch.

It’s great if the client does sign up on the next consult but it doesn’t always happen that way. And what fuels I’m stuck is when you’re in that belief that I have to have the silver bullet, I have to have this, I have to have a win in order to get me out of the loss. Versus I just need to get 1% better, and an accumulation of those 1% betters will get me out in the long term. And because I’ve evaluated and I’m learning from each of these things, I’m also going to take a lifetime of knowledge with me, deep, deep knowledge and experience with me moving forward for the rest of my business for eternity.

That’s the way I would think about it. When I figure this store out, when I figure out what’s getting me in this consult purgatory, when I figure this out, this will never get me in it again, this version of it, this flavor of it. I’ll still probably get into some low value cycle. I’ll still fail, but it will be different fails.

And the people that you see that are making multi millions of dollars in this industry, they are making that money because they are sitting on top of a stack of different fails, not the same fail. Because they’ve evaluated and because they’ve addressed it. They’ve learned from it and they’re moving forward. That’s always what I’m thinking. So just what will move the needle forward.

So the third thing, I’ve already said it, is you have to watch carefully for any sign or any amount of progress. You can’t watch only for the win, only for the launch that saves all the other launches for the rest of the year. You can’t look for just monetary signs. You have to look for any sign, any indication of progress. So when I was pitching, that might mean the first show, they all walked away as soon as I walked up to them.

And then the second show, they all stayed but they were arms crossed, super annoyed at me. Then the third show, they started nodding along and actually paying attention but they didn’t buy. But then the fourth show, one person bought. I am just looking for how things have progressed and changed, the same on your consults. This time I actually talked about objections. I didn’t just end the call. And then I talked about objections and I was really successful until this one objection and then I got stuck.

Or I got all the way through the objections but then they still had an objection afterwards and I couldn’t get them on the follow-up. Then I got them on the follow-up but then I wasn’t able to close them on the follow-up. You have to look for, how am I progressing? This will get you out of the all or nothing thinking of I’m being stuck. I always think of it as a scale.

If you’re at the end of the scale or think of a ruler almost or some kind of balance, scale, ruler or something where there’s tons of notches and you’re at the end and you’re just trying to move it along to the other side or towards the middle. Really that’s where you need to be is almost the middle. So you’re trying to move that way. You’re trying to find the balance of things are working, some things aren’t working, and these are the things I’m working on. That balance will always make you so effective. So carefully look for any amount of progress.

The fourth way you can get yourself unstuck is take responsibility, radical responsibility for your results until you feel excitement and power to take action again. And that is the only way you’ll know that you’ve taken radical full responsibility is you will feel excitement and power. The excitement comes from finding your power again, feeling it inside of you. And then being excited to problem solve and get out of it. There’s the difference between problem solving and feeling terrible about it and problem solving and feeling really, genuinely excited to be in the problem solving.

What tips it in that direction to feel really excited about the problem solving is the fact that you believe you have the power to move the needle, that you are in power to create the solution or the result that you want. When you believe you are the effect, it’s at your effect, that it’s all on you. That literally fills your body up with courage and determination and resilience, and that is exciting. It’s especially exciting when you’ve felt stuck and in nothingness and powerlessness and immovable and you don’t see a path forward.

It’s very exciting to start seeing lots of options moving forward or one option to move forward, to see anything. To be completely blinded and then to see again, that is exciting. So how you know you haven’t taken full responsibility is you don’t feel that power, you don’t feel that excitement, you don’t feel that desire to problem solve. If you’re not feeling those things, you’ve got to go back to the drawing board and take responsibility.

I heard this somewhere, I don’t know if it was my first coach or someone in a book I read. I don’t remember, but somebody at some point in my life told me, “Responsibility is literally the ability to respond.” Responsibility is the ability to respond. The ability to move forward, the ability to create your next results. So how did I create this result?

I remember one time, I don’t even remember the situation, it was probably a failed launch. It was years ago, but it wasn’t super un-recently because I was living in this house. And I remember pulling out of my garage to go to the gym, feeling terrible about myself and just so stuck, more stuck than I’d ever felt, ever. And I remember thinking, have you ever heard of the idea of going on a rampage of gratitude? Well, I went on a rampage of responsibility. What are all the things I can take responsibility for here?

And I went on such a rampage of responsibility that by the time I got to the trainer, I was in a completely different energy, vibration, mindset, whatever you want to call it, everything in my entire body had shifted. And I had so much energy to go to my workout, to then go work and address the situation, whatever it was. I think it was a failed launch. But I had so much power to address my results moving forward. Go on a rampage of responsibility. Find your ability to respond to the situation.

And then the fifth thing I’ve already said as well, but you want to make sure when you are stuck that you are taking action, that you are moving forward. You are taking action again, you’re not just freezing, but differently. This was the thing with my client that was the biggest thing keeping her stock is she had taken action again, but she hadn’t taken different action. And there is a difference. She hadn’t taken an educated, informed action, different action from her evaluations.

That’s how you get different, informed future actions is from your evaluations and she hadn’t done that. And the worst thing, and I’ve seen this, she’s not the only one, I have seen this, from thousands of coaches that have come across my programs. It is completely debilitating. It is endless suffering. It is crazy making to believe that you are taking the same actions over and over and over and getting the same results over and over and over and there isn’t a different way to do it. It will make you crazy to keep making the same mistake over and over and over.

It’s the definition of insanity for a reason. So you have to really ask yourself, have I taken action again? I’m not frozen in my stuck-ness, in my nothingness, the bottom of my hole in the lowest of low value cycles. Have I taken action again and is it different action because I have evaluated? Guys, I promise you, if you haven’t taken radical responsibility, evaluating when you’re stuck is the most painful thing because your brain wants to tell you that you’re stuck and there is no point to evaluate.

There’s nothing that’s going to fix it because you’re just stuck. You’re immovable. You’re in quicksand. The only option is to sink further down. But that’s not actually true. It’s your brain sinking you further down. You can take new action differently and if you evaluate every time.

So that’s step six is, you’ve got to evaluate again. You’ve got to take different action and then you have to evaluate again. I do understand how frustrating it is. I do understand that your brain wants to tell you it’s not enough. I do understand that your brain wants to tell you there’s no point, this is the only way out. You have to just make peace with the fact that it’s going to be uncomfortable. You have to evaluate again and then take another action forward again, differently.

The seventh thing that will be so powerful is you have to get help. This is something that even from my pitching days, gosh, there were so many store runs where I just took [inaudible], we called them blanks, selling nothing. And I took a whole store run as a blank, as a loss because I got stuck in the freeze and the nothingness. And then there’s no way out. And it’s just the store or it’s just me or it’s the product, it’s the timing, it’s the weather, it’s the financial resources they have, any form.

It’s the location of the store, it’s the employees, it’s the manager. Here are all the circumstances that make this immovable. There’s no way out. I’ve been there. I have been there where I’ve done entire store runs where I did not call one single time for help. I would even write someone’s initial down as if I did call them. I am always fascinated when I think back. I took extra effort to hide and cover up the fact that I haven’t gotten help instead of just making the call.

But this is what happens when we’re frozen in our emotions and we are believing that we are immovable. What would be the point? It was like, I’m not going to exert this extra effort. I’m already exerting so much effort. My coach, Brooke, told me this, I can’t unthink it or forget it. It takes more energy to not believe than to believe. And I’ve used that a 100 different ways since she said that to me. It takes more energy to be stuck than to get yourself out of being stuck. It takes more energy not to make the phone call than to make phone call.

If you’re in 2K for 2K, it takes more energy not to evaluate and post in Ask a Coach or in the Facebook community than it takes to just do it. To not do it actually takes you more energy. Prove me wrong. Think about it for yourself. When Brooke said this to me, she has no idea. It was one thing she said and it blew my mind open so much. I’m a different human because she said that to me, I’m like, oh my God, it does take more energy to not believe. It does take more energy to be stuck. It does take more energy to be in the nothingness.

It takes more energy to be in the low value cycle. It takes more energy to decide there isn’t a solution. It’s more suffering to do that. But I also get it, I get you if you’re in that place where you just aren’t asking for help because it takes more energy. And it’s not just ask for help one time, it’s repeatedly, don’t go to Ask a Coach one time. Don’t come to the live coaching one time, come repeatedly over and over and over, daily, if that’s what it takes the courage to keep reaching out for help. when you get the help and you try it and it doesn’t work.

I used to think, oh my God, I’m blowing these trainers’ phones up. They must be so annoyed, but I promise they weren’t. And I used to take calls like that too. I used to take people’s calls in the stores over and over and over and over. And I would be like, “Listen, what you’re going to do after you do this next show, no matter what happens, you’re going to clean up the booth. You’re going to walk out to the parking lot and you’re going to call me back. And if I don’t hear from you in 25 minutes, which is what it takes to do that, I’m going to check in with you.”

I used to really hold that space for them because you have to keep getting help. I know how miserable it is to sit in a store making no money. I know what it’s like to sit in my office making no money, thinking the whole world hates me, I’m invisible, nobody’s paying attention, nobody’s buying, nobody wants what I have to offer. I have been on so many iterations of that over the last eight years. I know what that’s like and you have to get help. It’s the only way out.

Other eyeballs are going to see your problem without your emotion. Okay, I’m going to say that again. Other eyeballs are an opportunity to see the problem without your emotion. Now, the solutions people offer might feel tough, but only because they’re not in your emotion. They’re not in your stuck mindset. They are not stuck. They’re unstuck. They see you being unstuck. They see the way out. They see multiple options to get out. Whether it’s stuck in your brain or stuck in your results, whatever it is, other people will be able to see. That’s what we believe in.

That’s the power of coaching, someone else sees your life from an unstuck mindset. They’re on the other side of the spectrum. They’re not in the nothingness. They might be in the nothingness for themselves, but they’re able to see it with you and not see the nothingness, without the emotional attachment. You want this. You want people to see your problem without emotional attachment, whether that’s your colleagues, your peers, your coach, lots of coaches, doesn’t matter who it is.

Other eyeballs need to see your problem without emotion, without the stuck-ness. You want to borrow their brain when your brain is lying to you. One of my good friends always says, “Whenever you’re in this spin, you just have to start training yourself to recognize that your brain is not reliable. When you’re this emotionally engaged, anything your brain offers you is not reliable.”

And that has been some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten is when I am feeling stuck, when I am in the nothingness, when I feel like I’m at the bottom of the hole. Nothing my brain offers me is reliable. Unless you do an evaluation and you start with what worked and you find things that work. And then you find things that didn’t work from a more logical perspective, from taking responsibility. And then you offer what you would do differently and you can see, I do see that something would be different if I did this.

That’s when you can trust your brain and you can do that yourself. You don’t need anyone to do that for you. But also having another set of eyes is so powerful. They will see things that you don’t even think to see because your stuck-ness limits what you can see. So there’s information you can get on your own for an evaluation. There’s just more if you have another set of eyeballs.

Sometimes that’s even my husband. Sometimes I’ll tell him something and I’m like, “This situation seems like there’s no way out.” And he’ll be like, “I have a way out.” He just offered me one the other day and it blew my brain open. And I was like, “Oh damn.” And he’s not even a business expert or a coach or nothing. He’s just another set of eyeballs that doesn’t see my problem with my emotional attachment with it.

Okay, so then step number eight is the advice you get from other people is just the next thing you implement and the next thing you evaluate. Taking a suggested action from someone else might not lead you where you want to go. I think this is very important to know. It is better though, than being stuck. It gives you information you didn’t have before. Every time you take an additional action, a different action than you did before, an informed action, you get more information that you didn’t have before.

The core of being stuck is not having any information to move forward with. That’s why I want you to frame it with, I just don’t see the option to move forward. I don’t see a path moving forward, because that’s the core of being stuck is I don’t see something to move forward with. So the moment you see something to move forward with you are inherently unstuck, at least in the moment. And you want to just keep grabbing for moments where you’re unstuck.

So the core of being stuck is not having information to move forward with and believing there’s no possibility of getting out. So here’s something important to know because I coach a lot of coaches that come from different areas of the internet. And a lot of times people will come to me in 2K or 200K. I’ll give you a specific example. So someone might come to me and say, “I got advice from someone to raise my prices and to kind of position myself as more exclusive because I was getting a bunch of no’s and people were telling me they didn’t have the money.

So someone gave me the advice to go exclusive, raise your prices and charge your worth.” And then they’ll be like. “And that didn’t work, terrible advice. And Stacey, you say this and it’s conflicting to that. And now I’m afraid if I take your advice that maybe I’m going to still end up in the same place. It could be another version of bad advice.” And I want to offer that the way I always think about this is conflicting advice is just multiple options to move forward with.

Conflicting advice from multiple people does not mean that one person’s advice is wrong. It means they gave you one path forward. And maybe for some people they have given that advice and it has worked. Maybe that person was in the right mindset, they immediately got it. It shifted them. They were able to take action on it and it worked for them. And so that coach gave that advice again.

I have been thinking about this a lot because I have a leadership team now that advises me that are experts in their different fields. And then I have colleagues who give me advice. And then I now have more than one coach. And I also have a mentor that I also factor in past advice she has given me. And I have lots of different people giving me advice in my business. Many times that advice is conflicting. And I think my job is to look at, of all of the pieces of advice I’ve gotten, what’s the one that resonates the most with me or are there multiple ones?

The best case scenario is you have multiple pieces of advice that all resonate. And so now you have multiple options to move forward with. And what I like to do is move forward with one of those things as fast as possible so that if it doesn’t work I can move on to the next one because I am seeing them as opportunities. When you are afraid of being in the endless stuck-ness, you will be looking for which one do you think is the silver bullet and then afraid to take action on any of them in case you make the wrong decision and the wrong one isn’t the silver bullet.

One of the most helpful things to do that I think about too is thinking about my stuck-ness over a year period. If I have conflicting advice or multiple people have given me advice or I have multiple options available to me. Let’s say I have five options available to me to get unstuck. and I think about over a year period if I was willing to try all five, do I think I would get unstuck?

And I’m a big proponent on not having too many cooks in the kitchen, not having too many people advising you at the same time because it can lead to confusion in your mind when you’re already stuck can create that cycle of not being willing to move forward. But in this particular case, what I’m thinking about is my specific scenarios recently where I’ve been stuck where it has actually been beneficial to show myself multiple opportunities out.

And in some of my programs, in 200K right now we offer one-on-one coaching and there’s peer coaching. And we have live coaching calls. And then we have things I’ve said at live events. And we have things I say in the portal, in our process. And so there can be multiple opportunities to move forward that might feel like they could be conflicting. and I’ve seen people get stuck in that and think that that’s a bad thing. And I’ve seen myself getting advice from multiple people and thinking of that as opportunities instead of stuck-ness.

So I felt like I needed to say it here is there’s just a different way to interact with conflicting advice. It’s like here’s an opportunity here. Here’s an opportunity here. Here’s an opportunity here and I can move forward. And if I move forward on this one and it doesn’t move the needle in the way that I hope or in the way that I wanted or I get the information and it doesn’t seem like it was the right way forward. Then I just move on to the next opportunity. That’s the way I interact with that.

So if you are going to entertain lots of different people’s opinions and lots of different peoples advice, lots of different options, do it from a place of power, not from a place of confusion. You don’t need to be confused. You can just say, “Here are the five paths that have been offered me to move forward. This is the one that makes the most sense to me right now with everything I currently know and the best thoughts that I currently have and my best desire to move forward.

I’m going to try this one as fast as possible, not from urgency, but just I want to get to a place where I’m able to fully implement this right away so that I get the information back quickly and I know if I want to move to option two.” That’s such a powerful place to be and then you evaluate. Remember, their advice, whoever’s advice you’re getting, whatever coaching you’re getting becomes the next thing you evaluate on.

Okay, so then step nine, these are not necessarily orderly steps. I mean some of them are, but some of them you can just pull out and use at any time and step nine is really going to hit like that. Step nine is focused on serving and connecting to others without agenda or attachment while you’re stuck. So the way that I like to think of this is while I’m stuck, I’m going to build relationship capital and add to my value bank that I can then cash in on when I’m unstuck. I might be not closing.

You might be in consult purgatory, 10 consults in a row that we’re all no’s, that might be where you’re at. And you might not know how to get out of that yet. But while you’re figuring that out, you can still be building relationships and serving other people, if you’re thinking from that perspective of, I’m going to not be stuck one day. And I also think, I heard this from Tony Robbins once and it’s so powerful, it’s impossible to suffer when you’re serving. So it will inherently get you out of the suffering as well to just connect to other people and focus on service.

And there are times when I’ve been stuck and I know I’m in a low value cycle and I know it’s not my highest value cycle and I know it’s not my highest level of marketing and I know it’s not my highest level of serving. But remember, your lowest value cycle is someone else’s highest value cycle. It’s not a no value cycle, it’s a low value cycle. So I focus on even if I’m not selling currently, I’m not in a launch currently, I can be focusing on connecting to other people, adding value to my value bank, building relationship capital on the things that I’m not stuck in.

So that when I am unstuck, I don’t feel like I’m starting from scratch. I have this momentum that I’ve built in this other space. I’ve built this momentum over here from connecting and serving even while I was figuring out. If you’re thinking about, this is a great example, if you’re in between prices. You’re thinking of raising your prices. Maybe you don’t have any spots open. Maybe you’re not currently selling and you’re trying to decide and coach yourself into the higher price.

And especially if you feel stuck around it, you can be connecting to other people and serving without talking about your new price, without doing those things. You can be building up that relationship capital and the value in your value bank until you get yourself kind of unstuck with where you’re going to move forward.

And then the tenth thing that’s just really important as a consideration is to make sure you do all of these things from actually wanting to not be stuck. There’s a difference between being stuck and wanting to stay stuck, desiring to stay stuck. And I’m going to talk about what that looks like versus actually being ready to get out. So it’s more like I’m stuck and I’m not ready to get out. Maybe that’s the better way to frame it. I’m stuck and I’m not ready to get out.

If you’ve ever noticed that your brain, I’ve noticed this, I have a high degree of self-awareness. One of the things that I notice is when I am believing a situation is immovable or I’m stuck, there’s no way out in my life or my business. When I’m feeling this way and I go to take another action, get another result, there’s a piece of my brain that wants to fail again, just so I can tell people, “See, I tried that and it didn’t work, told you.” My brain does that, it wants to be validated that it was right because it doesn’t want to admit, I was just wrong. There was a way out. There was a way forward.

I’ve just noticed over the years that my brain will want to do that. It will almost feel satisfaction with another loss. See, this didn’t work, told you. I knew I was right all along. And I’ve paid attention to that and I’ve noticed that behavior in my own brain. And I’m like, “Oh, okay, this is just not being ready to be unstuck.” And what I think happens when we’re not ready to be unstuck is because we have all of these unprocessed emotions and all of these missed expectations and these disappointments that we haven’t allowed to actually be seen and expressed in our body.

And so our brain just doesn’t want to move beyond that. Our body doesn’t want to move beyond that. So how I can get out of that is wanting to be wrong, wait, no, no, no, I desire to be wrong here because I would like to be out of it. You can be right or you can be rich. It’s such an interesting perspective. You can be right or you can be happy. You can be right or you can get unstuck, you can get out of it, you can move forward.

But your brain is going to want to hold onto it, because it’s not going to want to feel wrong. So it’s going to want to dig its feet in. It’s just not working for you. And you might even want to pity yourself. You might not be done pitying yourself yet and actually ready to move forward. And that’s okay. It’s just helpful to know that, I’m wanting to pity myself right now. Maybe I need to find a friend that I can just vent and pity with for a little bit.

And then when I’m done with that and then maybe I can even move a little bit forward with the processing of the emotions, which is different than pitying yourself and lamenting. When I’m really ready to express the grief or the sadness or the disappointment, the frustration. When I’m ready to express that and let that move through me, really find it in my body, identify it, sit with it, address it, acknowledge it, cry, have a really deep long cry and let it process out of me then I’ll be ready to move forward.

But just knowing, I’m ready to get unstuck or I’m not and what’s stopping me from being ready is very, very powerful. Okay, I hope this was so helpful for you. I desire to help you get unstuck in as many ways as I possibly can and share all of my knowledge with you from all of my stuck-ness over eight years of doing business and life. So I hope this is really helpful. I hope this helps you feel seen and understood and helps you move the needle forward. Have an amazing week and I’ll talk to you next week.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part using my simple 5 step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.