Ep #381: An Inside Look into My Self Coaching Practice

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and Master Coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first $2k, $20k, and $200k using her proven formula.

Hi coaches. Welcome to episode 381. I am so excited for this episode today. I’m giving you an inside look into my self-coaching practice. Are you ready?

Now, first, I have to tell you, I am highly congested, and I apologize. Y’all tell me sometimes that my nose sounds so stuffy. I live in the Ohio River Valley. It is the worst place in the entire United States for allergies, and I’m breastfeeding my daughter, and I’m really sensitive, so I can’t take any allergy meds, like anything. I’m struggling today. I’m not gonna lie. But pollen, I think they said pollen is at an all-time high. So, anyways, I am struggling. You’re gonna hear it. I apologize. But if you’re willing to stick through my stuffed nose, I have a really good episode for y’all today. 

So, here’s how this came about. I never thought ever in the years I’ve been doing this podcast to share with you my self-coaching practice. That didn’t even occur to me as something to have a podcast about. But in the Entrepreneur Coach membership, we are coming off of two months of studying balance and creating our “and” life. Something that we want in business, something we want in life, and believing that those two things can happen at the same time. 

And we had a call on calendaring and how I use my personal, like what my personal calendaring practice is, how I think about it, how I do it. I used to be someone who felt like calendaring wasn’t for me. I would tell myself that it stifled freedom and creativity. And now I know it creates freedom, and it’s there to serve me. I don’t serve my calendar. It’s there to serve me in living my best “and” life. Mine personally is making millions and having a huge contribution to the coaching industry, and the feeling of being a stay-at-home mom, which really just means presence and being there with my kids.

And so the conversation started there with calendaring because I use my calendar to serve my priorities, and you can see it. All the students were like, it’s so evident that you are living your and life and that you prioritize that within how you use your time in life and business.

So what I actually did is I showed my clients my calendar before the start of a work week, where I had calendared out, this is how my work week is gonna go. And here are my plans for the week, and this is how much time I’m gonna spend here and there, and it’s color-coded and all the things. And then I decided it would be really powerful because there was a lot of things they asked me about that I just didn’t even think to include. And so I thought it would be really useful for them if I tracked exactly how I used my time. Like, this is my hypothesis, my theory of how my week is gonna go.

And then this is how it actually went morning until night, from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed, Monday through Friday. Essentially, throughout the day, I would just update the calendar to like the 15 minutes. Like literally everything in my day, or I would update, finish updating at the end of the day. I included everything I did in every single time block.

So if there was a block where I had, say an hour, and I did six things, I put all six of those things in there. If I created things in my head, I put that in there. Like, if I’m showering and like I happened to create a new funnel idea in my head while I was showering. And so I captured that. Like, you can literally see what’s happening in my brain. If I’m multitasking, how I’m doing that, all of it. Like I tried not to miss literally anything.

And there were lots of questions from that, and many of them were, where is your self-coaching time? And what do you actually do in your self-coaching time? Like some of the blocks were drive time, like taking my son to school, and I would have taking my son to school and get coached. And they’re like, what do you mean taking your son to school and get coached? What’s that like? What are you doing in that time? What’s your practice?

And we I also got questions about what kind of coaching I invest in and how does that fit in my calendar? Like, how do I fit all the coaching and the self-coaching and all the other business tasks and the life tasks? Like, how are you making it all work? How does that tangibly play out in your week? 

People were also very curious how I was using my time in general to create new beliefs, to unwind unhelpful ones, to learn new things, new skill sets. I think that this happens because many of my students, the bulk of their time is spent doing that, and it may not be for you, but a lot of them, I think, especially in the beginning, the bulk of their time is doing that, and they’re not really seeing it on my calendar so much because the bulk of my time is taking action.

So I want to just kind of walk you through how I self-coach and when I self-coach, how much I self-coach, and also when I’m actually coaching, like for the investments that I’ve made. But just so you know, this isn’t to say that you should be doing it like me. That’s not why I’m doing this episode. This is not a I’m gonna teach you how to self-coach episode, and here’s how, you know, I’m doing it right and here’s how you should be doing it.

It’s not that at all because I have coached and invested in so many things in so many different ways over the years. You’ve got have heard me talk about how I have invested in three programs at once. And like there was a time in my calendar for six months where I had three live coaching calls, like with one-on-one coaches, where I’m at my computer screen talking to my coach three times in one week for six months straight. That felt really intense to me, but it was also a period of huge growth.

I’ve also talked about how I did Master Coach Training and Million Dollar Mentoring and a 1020 group, all at the same time. That was also very intense and also very transformational. So that like process flows, but I’m going to walk you through it, and my self-coaching has really flowed and developed over time as well. So this is just what it is in the current moment, and I think what it will do is kind of open up some possibility to you.

I think a lot of you are curious because I think when you just have no idea or no marker or no clue of what it could or should look like, that ambiguity can feel stressful. And so I think sometimes it’s just helpful to hear what other people are doing, especially if it’s someone you look up to that has results that you want, that you think is really successful, like having that window into how your coach does it.

Also, I’m super into behind-the-scenes right now. I just came off of Making of the Offer: Behind the Scenes, and then I’m freshly starting to film some new behind-the-scenes for my Entrepreneur membership. And one of the things I told everyone when I launched this membership is that I really want to bring you all behind the scenes of my business and what my work ethic, my play, like everything, how I earn my money, how I spend my money, how I invest my money. Like, I just want to like give you guys a window into what it looks like because so many of you had such huge transformations in the Making of the Offer: Behind the Scenes group.

And so this is kind of part of it as well is like, I, you know, opening up my calendar. I told everyone in the group, like, ask me any questions you want in the thread. And so the thread’s been super valuable in there. And so I think having this conversation on the podcast will be as well. Okay.

So, also, before I dive in, I’ve said that for some of you, coaching and self-coaching is a huge part of your calendars. Number one, I want to say there is an episode you can go listen to on this podcast, what to calendar when you don’t have coaching clients. If you scroll down and you find that episode, it’s so valuable. That was another question that we got on this.

I want to stress that having lots of hours on your calendar for coaching in a program or with a coach and self-coaching is not a bad thing. If you are wanting 20 clients and you have four, I suggest that you put 16 hours of coaching, like blocks for coaching clients on your calendar because if you can’t find the time for 16 more clients now, you’re never gonna get them, right? It’s like energetically you can’t tell the universe you have no more time, but also you want 16 more clients, or however, 14 more clients, whatever it is. So you got to plan for them. You got to say, listen, universe, I have, what did I say, six and then 14? I’m getting them confused. Whatever, it’s like, I have this many hours available for new clients, bring them to me.

Right? So you put it on your calendar. You figure it out even if you’re working full-time, you’re like, where could 16 clients go? And you put them in there. 14 clients, whatever it is. Now I’m confused myself. Let’s do 10, just so I don’t get confused, okay? If you want 10 clients, you put 10 hours on the calendar, you’re like, universe, send me 10 more clients. I have the time. I’m using that time wisely and ready and waiting to usher them in. So then how you use that time wisely is you put self-coaching, getting coached, learning new skill sets, and marketing in those hours.

So you’re like, five hours of marketing, five hours of getting my brain coached, right? I would do at least 50/50. And then as those hours fill up, you’re like, okay, now I filled five of those hours. Now I have five hours left. Okay, two and a half hours to market and two and a half hours to coach my brain. Like, that’s what I would do, so that I’m sending a powerful message to the universe, go send me new clients. So if you want to dive into that idea and that concept, there is a podcast episode, what to calendar when you don’t have coaching clients.

So there it is not inherently bad to be coaching and self-coaching for lots and lots and lots of hours. However, if you’ve taken my ROI, Return on Investment course, whether you took it when I first launched it, or if you joined the membership and you’ve taken it, or when you join the membership, it’s available for you, one of the things that I really have been stressing since the very beginning of me deciding to help coaches make money is returns on investment. That’s how my 2k for 2k program is set up. It’s how my 200k, like we’re always, every one of my programs, we’re working, you come in and the first thing you do is make your money back on your investment.

And so for me, what I’m always thinking is, what’s the return on the action I’m taking? Okay? So many of you are spending lots of hours self-coaching, and what I’m hearing from you is that it isn’t very effective. You get up feeling like something was supposed to happen that didn’t. You get up feeling worse than you started off. You get up feeling more confused than ever, more hopeless than ever. You get up feeling overwhelmed with how much you do not believe in your calendar, your goals, and your business, and where it’s headed.

Or you have created so many things, but there’s this one thing that’s sticking and you cannot figure out how to unblock yourself and create this new belief and get moving and being off into the world taking action. You don’t, you can’t figure out the how. You can’t, like it just feels so impossible that you’re sort of frozen, or you just don’t feel clear in moving forward. So when you’re self-coaching, it just doesn’t feel like, in the most simplicity, you don’t get up feeling like, well, that was a good use of my time. Let’s just say that. Well, that was a good use of my time.

So, I want to help you understand how I do it. And then if you join me in creating new beliefs for the month of April in the membership, I’m gonna show you. We’re gonna figure this out together. I want you all, I’ve been saying this for years. When you are coaching or self-coaching, you should be getting up, if it’s working, you should be getting up feeling like you produced something, even if it was in your brain. Like, you were productive in that time. It was forward-moving. You feel good. You feel the shift. You know something is different. You’re on to something, and it’s useful. Okay. So that’s the goal. 

So let me give you a big picture. Right now, in this current moment, I have three investments that I’m making. I’m in two group programs. One is a huge group, and the other is like a higher-end business leadership, smaller group. It’s like 250, 200 people. And they do lots of courses. It’s like kind of how I modeled the entrepreneur membership instead of, but instead of it being $20,000 a year, I already have that program for myself, that’s 200k mastermind, so I made it $297 a month. But I’m in those two programs, and so I get my brain kind of cleared out and coached a lot from those two investments.

And then I have a one-on-one coach that I meet with twice a month for something, a few very specific things in my business. We’re working on my membership, my ads, my funnels, and just some various things that are kind of specific to that. So in each one, I have a very specific result for my business and my life that I’m looking for. So it’s not like I’m investing in this, and I’m investing in this, and I’m like, oh, this looks fun. And it’s like, this is what I’m coming here for. That’s also part of getting returns on investment, and what I teach in that course is that you have an ROI plan, and you’re really clear moving into something like this is what I’m coming for.

So some of my coaching time, which you all are also very curious about, I think the week that I submitted to my membership and showed them, like, you know, this is my theory, and this is what actually happened. That week, I didn’t meet with my coach because we only meet every other week. So that also probably inspired, like, wait, where’s your coaching? I didn’t meet with my coach that week. I met with my coach the week after.

So some of you all wondered where my coaching time is and, you know, what how I’m actually showing up and doing coaching. And so bi-weekly with my one-on-one coach, we meet and we do bi-weekly. Actually, I chose this with my coach because I wanted time to implement. We talked about like, do we want to meet every week or do we want to meet bi-weekly?

It was like kind of a, what’s the word I’m looking for, a bespoke, is that the word I’m looking for, a bespoke coaching package in which I we kind of just talked about what would be what best to get my results. And I thought bi-weekly would help me because I’m a big implementer. So if we coach on something, I’m gonna have implemented it by the time we talk again most often.

So I meet with my coach bi-weekly, and then I show up to my small group as needed. Again, it’s got like 150, 200 people. It’s not like small, small. So number one, I can’t always make the times. In fact, one of my programs is during one of my weekly coaching calls with my clients, so I can never meet with that one. And then this one is like the times are always changing, and often they are either too early in the morning or too late at night, and I’m with my kids. And then sometimes it conflicts with a call. And then sometimes I’m able to make them, and so I do. But most of the time, I’m engaging via replay.

If I feel like I would love to be coached and I have something that I would like to be coached on, then I show up and I raise my hand and I hope that I get called, and it’s not a problem if I don’t, or if I just want to feel like in the mix and I want to be surrounded by the people in the group, then I show up and and, you know, if I’m available to. I just don’t make it a problem. It’s like, if I can be there, I’m going to be there, and then if not, I am very consistent with watching replays.

Now, this is very different. If I’m in a small group, I show up to every single call. Like I did a, I talked about this, was it two years ago now? I did a mastermind that had eight people in it. It was a $90,000 investment. I showed up for I think all the calls but two because I already had vacations scheduled, and I think one day I was in Epcot with my kids, and then there was like another conflict that was like very similar, but they were like so far pre-planned that those were the only two calls I didn’t show up. But if it’s a small group and like people would feel my presence, I’m there. And if it’s a big group, like I come in when it works out, and I’m just adamant about those replays when it doesn’t, and I feel like that works for me.

So you’re not going to necessarily see like lots of calls on my calendar because if I’m listening to a call, unless I feel like I need to take notes, some of them I do feel like I got to like sit down and take notes. But if I don’t and I’m getting the energy and I’m listening and I’m absorbing, I might also be showering or putting my makeup on or driving or whatever. And I, again, I don’t make that a problem either. I really work the small pockets of time in my schedule.

So I had times on my calendar that were labeled like, take Jackson to school and get coached, or shower and get coached. People were like, wait, what? That’s new. That’s me listening to a replay of a coaching call. It helps me transform my energy. It getting me into an empowered place in my mind, and it amps up my desire to go out and help people. Like, I love doing that at the beginning of the day is just like hearing powerful coaching is like, let’s go out there and do this for everyone. Like, let’s get at it.

So I’ve always got something in my ear, and that helps me be so productive in my week. And I’ve been doing this since the very beginning. When I was pitching in between shows, as I’m cleaning up my stage and restocking my stuff and walking the store and doing all that, I’ve got AirPods in, and I’m listening to a podcast or an audiobook or a coaching call. The more immersed your brain is in empowered positive thinking, the more empowered positive actions you’re gonna take, the more results you’ll create. 

Sometimes when I have a big program that has like a bunch of extra courses and then weekly coaching as well, again, it’s very set up like 200k. So sometimes I’ll hunt for something specific if there’s like a specific course on a topic I want. But mostly, I just listen to whatever the weekly coaching was. It’s, again, it’s just a practice of filling my mind with the most quality thoughts.

Then, okay, are y’all ready? This is where my self-coaching starts to come in. Then throughout the day, I will pay attention to my brain. I am always watching. It doesn’t always go on the calendar. It’s just what I do. I pay attention to the sentences that are in my brain, that’s all a thought is, a sentence in my brain, and the charge that sentence carries. That’s an emotion, right? And an emotion is simply a charge coming from a sentence in your brain.

Sometimes I pay attention to the charge, the emotion, because it sort of feels like it just appeared. Why am I stressed all of a sudden? Why am I suddenly feeling anxious and bad? And then I figure out, ee, what was that thought that created that? What unwanted thing am I thinking about?

Or sometimes it’s like, ooh, I feel good. Let’s really anchor this in. What am I thinking about right now? Like, what’s the thing? Let me expand upon that. And sometimes I’ll write that down. Sometimes I will, I was driving to get Jackson to school the other day, and I just hit my audio record, and I just started recording everything that was flowing out of my brain because it just felt so powerful and good.

And sometimes I will tell my husband or tell someone. I’ll be like, babe, I just got, like this morning, I was, he was making me coffee, my second of the day. And I was like, I just have to tell you this. I have the most incredible idea for my 200k Mastermind launch. I’m so excited. People are going to freak out. It’s such a big idea, and I feel so ready to execute on it. And so I was walking, I’m not gonna tell y’all, but not yet. But I was walking him through it, and I was just getting more and more and more excited. And then I wrote to my team to tell my team about it, and it wasn’t like I even needed them to action on anything. I just wanted them to be as excited as I am.

So, that’s how I will start, is I’m looking all day long at the sentences in my brain and the charge they carry, and is that moving me towards what I want or is it not? Then from there, I do a lot of self-coaching in my head. I recorded a, if you were in Making of the Offer: Behind the Scenes, there, I think this was one of the very early behind the scenes, if not the first one ever.

So I recorded one video where, in the dark, where I woke up after no sleep and was nursing the baby, and my body felt so tired. And my spirit was low. If you’ve ever had just like so many nights of sleeplessness, and then you’re also breastfeeding, which takes a lot from your body, and you just feel like drained. And I had the busiest day ahead. 

And so I thought this is the perfect moment to like show my students, like these moments. And so I hit record to show my students what I do, and I started coaching myself out, like in my head, but like out loud to them. And in that moment, I started bringing up my desire and talking myself into desire, just stating out loud what I’m doing that I have scheduled today and what I’m excited about, and why I’m excited about it and why I think it matters so much and the impact it’s gonna have and all of the things. I just talked myself into desire.

This process is what I call intentional thought creation. I am very, very, very practiced in it. So I can do it anywhere with any energy, and I really do walk myself emotionally from a one to a five to an eight to a 10 in sometimes a matter of 20 or 30 minutes, at most like maybe an hour.

So if I had an I got there by the end of that behind the scenes video and by the time I was done nursing, but if let’s say that hadn’t happened, I would have kept going while I was in the shower, while I was getting ready, you know, putting my makeup on, drying my hair, straightening my hair, getting dressed. Like, I just would have kept going. I just walk myself up the emotional spectrum in my head by choosing desire for everything I’m going to do throughout my day. Right? I do it while I’m nursing, showering, getting ready, driving, making coffee, making breakfast, anything.

And then throughout the day, I’m also doing it. Before and during everything, I’m making sure I’m feeling desire. I’m choosing it. I’m really present to the task at hand or the moment available because I choose it, because I desire it. Nothing goes on my calendar where I am serving it. It’s always serving me. So there’s just nothing there that I don’t truly want.

Even if it’s like a team meeting, which I used to not love, and now I have thoughts about desire and choice for my team meetings. Like, I can’t wait to have a touch point with my team. This is going to make operations go so much smoother. It keeps me and my, you know, having my finger on the pulse of the business. It keeps me knowing what’s happening logistically. It helps me communicate my vision. It helps my people understand where I’m coming from. It helps them be able to contribute at a higher level, right? I just go on and on and on and on.

This might seem like a lot of work. But I want to offer to you, if it sounds like it’s a lot of work, it’s more work to not do it and let your mind wander and tell you what to think and direct you. Because if you let your mind direct you, it’s gonna direct you straight away from your dream life and all of your goals. I promise you. A brain, it doesn’t even mine, like even mine that has studied, I have been coached. I’ve never not had a coach or a coaching program ever in 11 years, not because I don’t need it, but because I see the value in it.

So even though I am a Master Certified Coach who have been has been doing this for 11 years and used this to create the absolute most extraordinary life and extraordinary results, if I do not keep up with my brain and direct it, it is going to take me somewhere not good. It’s not gonna take me to my dream life and my dream goals, right? Because it wants to be lazy. It wants to sit on the couch and eat cookies and not work and procrastinate and do all the things. It doesn’t want to do hard things.

So it is actually harder to let your brain go unattended and not pay attention. It uses energy to pay attention. It does. But I think you expend way more wasted, unuseful energy when you don’t. And if you don’t agree or have that solid belief that that’s correct and true for you yet, start looking for how that could be true.

I remember when my coach, Brooke Castillo, said to me personally, it’s harder to not believe than to believe. And it blew everything wide open for me. And I have found that to be true with everything. It’s harder to try a little than a lot. It’s harder to believe a little than a lot. It’s harder to manage your mind a little than a lot. It’s harder to tiptoe into things than to dive right in, right? There’s so many variations of that. Really, really believe that to be true. I highly encourage you to look to see if that could be true too, if you think it’s very tedious to be constantly paying attention to the sentences and the charges in your brain. 

You know, I really spent the last, I would say 18 months to two years, especially combined with the work I’ve done on my capacity, increasing my intellectual, emotional, and physical capacity, really mastering this. Because I, after I had my babies, like, I needed my energy to be on point. And I had to be, if I’m only working 15, 20 hours a week, I have to truly be leading with empowerment, myself, and all of my people. I go first, and I go often, and I go with purpose. If I want them to have empowered brains, I have to have empowered myself a hundred times before I ask my clients to do it once. Right? That’s me being in my coach integrity.

Now, that doesn’t mean feeling like positive Polly all the time. It means being willing to deal with hard things as they come and to be constantly finding my belief in my vision and where I’m headed and what I’m creating. You can’t be a life coach telling other people that they can change their life and not be constantly finding your belief in your vision and where you’re headed and what you’re creating. It’s just energy leaked all day.

Or on the opposite, energy built all day. I’m always telling my students that feel like at the end of the day, they’re exhausted, maybe from their full-time job, and they have no energy to work their business. And I’m like, oh, the problem is not, they’re always saying, how do I then create energy at the end of the day in order to work my business? I’m like, no, no, no. The problem is not that. You could solve that, but it will be much harder to solve that.

The problem is that you’re not gaining energy throughout the day. You should be gaining it. I know we think we should be losing it. Like we wake up and that’s our most fresh, and then every hour after, we get a little more tired. No. That only happens when you don’t have thought management, when you aren’t coaching yourself throughout the day because if you’re spending your whole day empowering your brain and directing your brain, you should be building up your energy all day. And yes, at the end of the day, you’ll feel a little used, and you’ll be ready to go to sleep, for sure.

But for me, what I know at 5 p.m., I am a chatty Cathy at dinner. Have you heard that term chatty Cathy? I am a chatty Cathy at dinner. Like, I will talk my husband’s ear off when I’m in a good mood. So the more I believe, the more chatty I am. I want him to hear all my good ideas and all the things, and how much I love him and the family. And I’m just like, I’m in such a good mood because I’m just building my energy. It’s like building up like that charge all day long. So it really is in how you direct your brain and use your tools throughout the day.

Okay. So that’s like a regular, typical day. That’s what I’m going to do always. Now, let’s talk about creation mode, launch mode, intentional future coaching time that I’m doing, where I’m really looking at my future and my big goals, all of that.

So, for example, when I was working on creating the entrepreneur membership, I was working on, I knew that was coming up months and months and months before we launched it. I actually, years before I launched it because the entrepreneur series was me deciding, do I think I can handle this load of the quality and the volume of creation that I want to do to get this work out into the world quickly so people can use it. And, you know, do I think I’ll love like this kind of style. And so I, in my brain, have been building this up for a while. But on my maternity leave, and then in November, and really in December, I’ve actually creating the membership.

And so I was pen to papering a lot of my coaching. So here are some things that I put, like pen to paper, and if you had seen my calendar back then, you would have seen on my calendar. And you would have seen more of that than the doing. So for those of you that are in the Entrepreneur membership, I need you to hear me on that because I’m not in that place now since I launched the membership. So and all of the courses I’m launching now, I’ve been thinking about for years. So it’s not been like a ton of time prepping for me. It’s just basically sitting down to get it all out.

But if you had been looking at my calendar in December, you would have seen me, it would have been like 70% of my time is unwinding and building all of my beliefs about the membership, and then 30% would have been doing.

And in fact, I had to do very, very quickly because as I started taking action, a lot of questions and things, decisions that I hadn’t realized I had to make were coming up, and then they felt like really big decisions because I’m launching this as a permanent offer. So this isn’t like, oh, I’ll do it once and then I’ll make a decision. I was like, I need to be very clear about what I’m offering. And so there was like a lot of pen-to-paper coaching.

So here’s what I did in that. There were tons of what I call ITCs. If you’re joining the membership at the end of April, you’re going to also be saying I’m doing my ITCs, which are my Intentional Thought Creations. I was doing that type of coaching work on my offer, on my vision, on my best client, on my value, on the price point, on the amount of coaching I was going to be given, because I anticipate that people would be like, oh, this is a lot.

But I also knew we need a lot right now. Like we need to be more coached up than ever before right now. Like everyone needs this. I also would pen to paper my objection stress tests. And so this is everything I can possibly think of that would make my offer not feel safe or not feel like a hell yes for someone to buy.

I teach objection stress testing in my 200k Mastermind, but in the simplest form for this episode, I can start you with a, you imagining, if you wanted to do an objection stress test, you imagining every objection you have or that you imagine others have and asking, even if it’s true, why is it still valuable? Why should they still invest? Being very clear on every question you might receive, trying to leave no stone unturned

Like if someone asked you something, it would not create a negative reaction in your body because you are so well practiced that you’re like, oh, I’m excited to give this answer. I’m really, like you feel genuinely like, I’m glad you asked this question. I get to give you this answer that I’ve already thought about a hundred different ways.

So that is what I was pen to papering. Lots of intentional thought creations, lots of objection stress tests, and I would even take, one of the things I’m going to teach you in creating new beliefs in April in the membership is how to use intentional thought creations to decision-make. This is one of the biggest things. I have seen coaches take six months to make decisions, a year to make decisions, three years to make decisions. Like I have seen people be like, I am still trying to think of how to do this and what decision I really want to make. Even if it’s like quitting the decision to quit or keep going, right?

Like I have seen people, or I just coached two of my high-earning students. One of them, we talked about decision making with ITC on three different possibilities for his niche at the scale level. And then another client on selling their business or restructuring it to be exactly what they want, the way that I did, and kind of ITCing how everything they thought that had to be done this way, the way they didn’t like, could be done differently. And so you can actually use it to decision-make. I’m gonna teach you guys how to do that, too. But a lot of my pen to paper was that kind of decision-making process and running multiple ITCs to see which one was like the best decision from a place of being the most empowered and the most abundant and believing everything works.

Okay. So then, on my low days. Yes, you heard me. I have them. I have really bad days. I don’t have them as often because I’m, I coach myself so hard, but I do have them. The more days I go in a row with sleep deprivation, I get to a point where like, truly, and I always tell people this with capacity work. I’m like, you could be tired, and you could feel like I just can’t go anymore. And if that’s true, go take a nap. Go to sleep. And if not, just stop saying it to yourself.

So, let’s say for six days in a row, I’m tired, and I’m not going to take a nap. So I’m gonna keep going, and I do. That seventh day, like when my body tells me it’s time to sleep, I do. That’s how I know, right? It’s time. And typically, that will be a low day for me, and we’re working our way out of it. I just want to let you know we’re sleep training my daughter, and like, this is so crazy, y’all. This is like such proof that we’re all doing this as coaches with our businesses as well. We’re like shooting ourselves in the foot.

So my old nanny is also a sleep trainer, and she’s just been helping us out via text, you know, just because she loves us and wants us to sleep. And we’ve been recording videos and sending it to her. This whole time. Not all of it. Some of it’s teething. Some of it’s she’s been really sick, like a lot, her whole life. And some of it is she’s hungry, right? So there are three different times where she’s waking up, and she truly is waking up.

But y’all, so much of our sleep deprivation we are realizing in the last week and a half is coming from we’re waking her the F up. We thought for a long time that she was having really bad gas. Even the doctors thought she was having really bad gas because we would, she’d be crying for like 15 minutes straight, and we’d pick her up, and she’d be arching her back really bad.

The sleep trainer’s like, no, she’s asleep. You guys are going in and waking her up. She’s in between sleep cycles. She’s crying, but she’s not awake. Her eyes are closed. She wants to be asleep. So when she’s arching her back, she’s like, put me down. It’s changed everything. It’s so painful to let her cry for 15 or 20 minutes. But it’s we’re realizing like it’s so much worse when we go in there. And then she eventually just goes back to sleep. It’s the wildest thing.

So some of the sleep deprivation, it’s so painful to know, has been self-induced by not understanding her like sleep thing that’s happening. Anyways, I know that was a long tangent, but there are low days. Some of them are when I’ve reached my max of sleep deprivation currently. Some of them, it just appear. Like, sometimes I just latch on to a sentence in my brain, or I realize I’ve gone a couple days without cleaning my brain out. I have low days. Like, I just want you to know I have them.

So whether it’s been a really hard day because I’m tired or sick or whatever, or I’m really out of belief for whatever reason. I just think sometimes we fall out. We just fall out of belief. And sometimes we fall like we’re at the top, and we don’t just fall a couple of notches. We fall like all the way down in the hole, very quickly. And listen, I believe that’s always an opportunity to just strengthen the belief and raise your baseline.

But when that happens and emotions are super heavy, my coaching time in my head, still, I’m doing it as I go, is directed at bringing myself back to allowance for the hard emotions and not trying to shove them down, get out of them, get them to go away, but to be present with them. I don’t typically try to coach myself out of them. I know that a lot of you spend the majority of your time doing this in your self-coaching. You’re like, I got to come up with a new thought so I get out of this emotion, so I get into a more positive place, so I can make money.

You’re doing it wrong. Not like my, this is not me saying you’re doing it wrong and according to the way I do it. I’m telling you you’re doing it wrong. It’s not working for you. I know this because I’m coaching you all the time. 

I have found, if you invite the negative emotions in, the hard stuff in, the hard moments, the hard days, even the hard weeks and the hard months, or even the hard years, if you invite that hardness in, those emotions, you offer them tea, you let them stay a while, they’re going to be quicker to leave than if they knock on the door and you close your curtains. You lock the door, you close your curtains. And they’re like banging on the window to be seen. That’s the way I think about it.

So on these days, my self-coaching is about strength. It’s about my resiliency. It’s about not looking away, being with myself and loving myself in the hard emotions. And one of my rules on these really hard days is I do not try to come up with solutions and believe harder and force ideas or make decisions from this place.

What I tell myself is your brain is not reliable in this moment. Your decision-making is not reliable in this moment. This is not a good place to be leading from. Right? Oftentimes, we’re doing that. We think we’re doing the right thing because we’re supposed to be showing up and moving through, you know, doing in spite of these emotions. But mostly what we’re actually doing is we’re doing it in an effort to escape, right?

If I could just come up with a solution, believe harder, create an idea, make a decision, change something up, then I’ll be able to get out of this emotion. Anything you’re doing to try to get out of, any self-coaching directed at getting out of is not allowance, and it will actually make, it’s like someone that’s stubborn, and if you like push them, they just grind in harder, versus if you just like allow them to do their thing, they’re like, okay, and now I don’t, you know, I don’t need to do that thing anymore, or I’m done with that thing.

So escaping and trying to force the process, not allowance. It’s not the same thing as being willing to feel anything. And in business, if there’s nothing you’re unwilling to feel, there will be nothing you will be unwilling to do. So we want to be able to have allowance for these things. Then, if something is particularly heavy, whether it’s during the day or at night, like in the morning or at night or throughout the day, but this happens a lot for me at night because I think our anxiety levels, like our cortisol levels raise at night, instead of zoning out with TV, this is also when I will go pen to paper and I will get all of my emotions out on paper. I will listen and see and be with what they want to tell me. I write it all down an exhaustive list. I do this to be heard.

Sometimes I’ll tell my husband, and I’ll talk about it with him just to be witnessed. Like I’m not trying, I don’t want him to solve it for me. I’m not trying to solve it while I’m talking to him. I just want to be witnessed. Or I’ll call and I’ll tell a friend. I don’t do this with the intention of doubling down on my crappy thinking and the hard feelings. I don’t do it to get lost and indulge in them. I do this intentionally to process them, to see, hear, and feel them.

Sometimes I let myself cry, like ugly cry. Business is hard. There may not be crying in baseball, but there sure is in business. Crying is processing. It’s letting the emotion out. So I will do that as well. I think some of you all are afraid to do that, but the only reason you are afraid to let those emotions be seen and heard and let those thoughts, those sentences be seen and heard is because you believe the charge will stay forever, but only because you are practiced in resisting the charge, which makes it stay longer, and you are not practiced with allowing and processing and letting things move through you and believing and trusting that they will move through you.

Okay, and finally, the other thing I pen to paper are my gratitudes, my thank yous to myself and God, universe, spirit, whoever you talk to. I love getting my gratitudes out, the ones I feel so deeply in. Like, I just I want to like feel them as deep into my core as I possibly can. I want to expand them.

One of the ones I do when I am, maybe like I’m nursing, I’m in my home, I love, love the way that we have designed our house, the way we’ve decorated it, my children’s room. Like, I love them so much. I’ll just like be nursing my daughter and be in the rooms, and I’m just like, God, I love this house. Like, I love the charm of these kids’ rooms. Like, I love how I feel in my baby’s, like the whole upstairs is just like baby heaven. And I’m like, I love, like, I just love it. I want to like, I bring up so much gratitude that I don’t even want to move. I don’t, I’m like, I never want to leave. I love this place, right? I’m doing that a lot too, and I will do that pen to paper.

I also find it helpful to pen to paper my numbers, all of the combinations in which I can hit my goals, not from a place of stress, from a place of possibility. And then my three-year plan is also a yearly, a bi-yearly self-coaching deep dive for my big future. And that’s how I do like my big picture self-coaching. And then I will also do targeted self-coaching on anything I learn in my programs or thoughts that my coaches offer me.

My coach this past week, I had a call, and holy hell, she offered me some really powerful thoughts. And I can see that I don’t quite believe them yet, but a window of possibility has like swung open, and I’ve been like talking about it with my husband and just now I’m out there just proving how that could be true with everything I think and all the evidence I find and everything that I do. 

Okay. So, I self-coach daily using intentional thought creation to build belief, to operate in desire, to grow capacity. I choose intentionally everything I spend my time on. I process, and I coach on that choice. I process my emotions. I get the heavy stuff out. I rampage gratitude. I love to think of it that way. I’m going on a rampage of gratitude. And that is my current practice. And I’ve been doing this for a few years now. It has changed my life.

ITC, a, you know, focusing on motivation from desire, not discipline, operating again from choice, inviting all the hard emotions in and being with them and strengthening myself to them and processing them. And then those rampages of gratitude, like true gratitude. And then hearing out all the fear, but not letting it drive the conversation in my head, doing this in pockets of time throughout the day, moment by moment. This is yet another way I have built such incredible capacity and such big results.

Okay. I hope that was helpful for me to break that down and like be in-depth with that. Just as a reminder, we are creating new beliefs in April in the entrepreneur coach membership. I am teaching you intentional thought creation. You can use it for yourself, the way I’ve demonstrated here. You can use it in your self-coaching for all your decisions, for all your belief.

You can go teach it to your clients. You’re going to want to teach them right away. You’re going to be wanting to run ITCs with them from here on out. No certification required. You can use it freely. Like, go out and teach all of your people. Just don’t tell people you created it, right? Like this is a tool I’m really proud of that I’ve created. So don’t like claim it as your own, but like go out, tell the whole world.

I’m going to be teaching you how to really access more powerful thinking more easily. I’m going to be teaching you how to make the most powerful decisions, how to own them, and how to have your back. I’m going to teach you how to get in and then out of your negative thinking to process it out and move on. I’m going to teach you how to get moving quickly with your belief, how to swing those possibility doors open. Then I’m going to teach you how to believe deeply, where it’s concrete and it’s rooted. I’m going to teach you how to step into possibility and to start moving your actions in alignment with that rather than past probability. And I’m going to be teaching you how to uncover the how for yourself along the way to make that belief a reality.

You can join us in creating new beliefs by joining the membership, and you can join monthly or annually. So this will be just the month of April, five calls. I’m going to teach for 30 minutes in the beginning of the call, and then we’re going to coach for the remainder of the 90 minutes. So 30 minutes of teaching, 60 minutes of coaching.

People have been asking me if they can upgrade to annual after they check it out for a month. And I say, hell yeah. That’s the point of having an offer like this. For the first time ever, it’s come check me out, right? I’ve never had an offer like this. And I would not let confusion or indecision around should I do monthly or annually, I would not let that hold you back. I think some of you, the emails you’re sending in, I think some of you are like, I don’t want to lose out on $297. Like, if I’m going to do annual, I just want to do it right away because I’m going to save money.

Okay. I wouldn’t think of it that way. I wouldn’t think of like, I have to make the decision right now to save that $297 or to save that $597. Whatever it is, two months. I wouldn’t think of it that way. I would think I am spending $297 to know if I want to continue to spend $3,000. And then instead of 12 months, you’ll have 13 months with us, right? It’s not a problem.

Like, if you’re not a hundred percent, like, I know everything Stacey does is so helpful for me and I love her work and I want to be in everything she does. If that’s not your main thought, then just join for a month, and we’ll upgrade you. It doesn’t even have to be when we’re in, you know, a quote-unquote launch. We’ll do it as soon as you know you want to be in.

Okay. When you join, this is what we’re doing for the month of April, creating new beliefs, but you will also get access right away to ROI, to the Identity series, and to Balance, right? I’m allowing you all to have access to everything we’ve done in the past, no matter when you join, because it allows me to then keep the conversations and the coaching open. So if someone brings something up in Balance and then someone else says, wait, what’s Balance? I don’t have to say, well, you’ll find out two years from now when I do it again, right?

I want to be like, oh, you can watch this call. This call will be really helpful over here. Why don’t you go, there’s an Identity series call, and it allows me to point you in a direction for a deep dive. That way I don’t have to also re-coach everything and we can move on and coach more people, and we can keep conversations open, and I can add, like I’ve already thought of a call I want to add to Balance in the future, and I don’t want to have to wait until I do it again. I want to be like, hey, we’re doing a new Balance call and it’s on this topic, and I want to add to the Identity series. We’ll be doing that next month.

So you get everything when you join. You’ll do the past things in your pockets of time. I would rather you do those in pockets of time and then just dive into the current live content, but it is there for you. ROI, the Identity series, Balance, and I’ve started, I haven’t released them yet, but I have started filming behind the scenes of me navigating my husband’s recovery from massive surgery and running my business and launching all at the same time and how we’re all making it all work. I have started filming the behind the scenes, and I’m just so excited for all of the things that I’m going to be sharing with you all.

All right. If you want to join, go to staceyboehman.com/ec-membership. We’ll have that linked up in the show notes. I hope you have a beautiful week, and I really hope this was really helpful to see and hear how I do my self-coaching. All right. Have a beautiful one. Talk to you next week.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program; where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part using my simple five-step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to StaceyBoehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.