Ep #193: Getting Out of Offer Confusion and 183% Growth with Alexa Martin

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, I‘m really excited to bring you a special series on the podcast over the next several months, where I will be featuring students from our first ever pre enrollment for the 200K mastermind. We ran a contest to see who could have the highest percentage of growth from each of our income categories. 25K, 50K, 100K and 200K+. We had students increasing their revenue 10K a month for 7 months straight.

We had 180% growth increases, 442% growth increases, the results were seriously more than we ever remotely anticipated. So I’ve asked them to come on the podcast and share with you how they did it. Their mindset that they approached the materials with and how they leverage the 200K process to make a lot of money in their business, before they even stepped foot into the room for our mastermind. They had this growth just with access to our member portal and our library of past events, calls, our 200K process and all of our bonus courses over 6 months between January and July of this year.

These conversations were so intriguing to me and inspiring for what can be possible when we get the 200K process in the hands of more coaches quicker. There are so many mindset nuggets that await for you inside so let’s dive in.
                                                                                                                    

Hey, coaches, today we have another special episode with one of our pre-enrollment students who used pre-enrollment to make a lot of money. So, I was just telling Alexa that we pre-recorded an intro for these episodes but we didn’t really tell them what was happening necessarily. So, Alexa’s here, she doesn’t 100% know what we’re going to talk about. So, I’m just going to get everybody up to speed. We are featuring some of our pre-enrollment students from every single income class from when they originally applied in January of 2022.

So, we’re featuring the students from every income class that had the most growth, the highest percentage of growth for their income class to show what’s possible, and mainly because one of the things I said, you were just at the live event, that I said that my company is doing right now as we go from 10 to 20 million is we’re trying new things. That’s kind of my motto in my head is we’re trying new things. So, pre-enrollment is something that we have decided to try.

And when I mean try, we’re not half in, we’re all in, but we’re just looking at the impact that it has on our clients and our future clients to see if it’s something we want to continue doing, if it makes sense for our company. And so, a couple of those goals are to get the 200K materials in the hands of people faster. But then another one is to increase the return on investment for the people who are especially the first time people, if we can get them an extra 10, 20, 30, 40,000 dollars in one round. It’s a big deal for them. That’s money and profit in their pocket.

So, you’re an example of what’s possible for this because you came in, in January. You got access to the member portal only, so no live active coaching. You did get all of the past live events, and the mastermind calls, and the entire process, all of our PDF materials. You get everything to teach you how to make 200K. And you really went and ran with it. And we actually had two people at the 50K income level when they applied that we’re featuring because you guys both just killed it so much.

So, your revenue if I’m correct, it could be more by now, you applied at 32,000 then when we asked for updated revenue in June you were at 93,000, which is 183% growth, which is absolutely insane. Now, I know I haven’t had you introduce yourself yet. But I feel like that is the best way to say who you are and what you do and dive in, 183% growth, so fun. Okay, so introduce yourself.

Alexa: So, fun. Okay, so I am Alexa. I help women stop people pleasing at work so that they can have more time for themselves. I had 183% growth.

Stacey: Yeah, so great, and you live in Bali or you are in Bali. You have to have been there because my team was like, “We have to record it right now while she’s in the States, so she has solid internet connection.”

And I was thinking, I’ve got to ask her about that because so many people tell us, “But Stacey, I can’t do this part of even the 2K process for example, I can’t meet people because I don’t have enough people in my area, or I don’t have solid internet connection. I’m on a different time zone than everybody else.” And I’m like, “Okay, we’ve got to hear what she’s doing.”

Alexa: Okay. So, I actually, yes, I lived in Mexico, then Columbia, then Bali. So, I have done my run of unsolid internet connection. And I’m actually going to spend some time in the States now which I made this decision in part because of 200K. I was like I want to be on those calls live and I want a really good internet connection and I want to just go all in, in my business right now.

Stacey: It’s so great.

Alexa: And yeah, it felt like the States was the best place for me to be to do that so I’m here.

Stacey: But also, you’ve made, I mean basically $100,000 without having that. So, can we just for a second honor that and talk about that? Before we even dive into pre-enrollment, let’s just talk about what mindset did you have to have to make that happen? And then what structurally did you have to do to make that happen? Because that’s an obstacle that I find a lot of people can’t get past.

Alexa: Yeah, absolutely. So, the mindset, I really feel is just being all in on your business. When you decide I am going to get these results and you problem solve for that versus coming up with all the reasons why it can’t be possible for you it’s such a different approach that you take to life. So, once you make that decision that this is what I’m doing then you just start problem solving for that instead of coming up with reasons why you feel it’s not possible for you because really it’s possible for anyone, it really is.

Stacey: So how did you get those clients? Were you marketing online? Were you networking in person?

Alexa: I did all my marketing online and actually when you’re traveling, I think it’s a great way to meet even more people, yeah.

Stacey: My first 100K I went on a road trip across the country and anywhere I knew someone I would drive to that city and meet up with them, not to try to get them to be my clients but it was just because I was meeting people everywhere. And then I would do Facebook Lives and show everybody what I was doing. And it wasn’t always the most fantastic thing. Sometimes it was like, I’m in the car, and it’s torrential downpouring on my way to Atlanta. And I’m stuck in this traffic jam so I’m going to go live and talk to you guys.

It wasn’t always, I rescued a dog on the side of the road. It wasn’t always like this glamorous stuff it was just, this is what I’m doing living my most engaged life. That was the example that it set. And so, tell me, if you don’t have stable internet connection, did you have good enough internet connection to be posting online, or tell me about that a little bit?

Alexa: Yeah. There was enough internet connection to be posting online always. The only times when it became a bit of a challenge, this was particularly a struggle in Mexico, sometimes the whole city would lose power for very extended periods of time. And when that happens there is no way of contacting anyone and you obviously can’t run your coaching calls. So, there was a few moments where and it happens all of a sudden.

You are sitting down to blend your smoothie for breakfast and all of a sudden just everything – and in my head I’m just like, oh no, not again. So that is when things would become a challenge when everywhere would just lose power.

Stacey: But you couldn’t even make a phone call out?

Alexa: No.

Stacey: So how did you handle that with your clients? Because most people would be like, “I’m going to die, this is what’s going to happen. I’m actually going to die.”

Alexa: I always felt calm. So, I always knew, they knew where I was in terms of they knew I was in Mexico. And I just believed that it wasn’t like they were going to hate me for not showing up for the call. It wasn’t like they were going to drop out of the program. I knew they were all in and I knew they knew I was all in. And I would get them results regardless of what it looked like and I was going to make up for whatever time was lost and we were going to get to the finish line no matter what. So, it was not my favorite.

I don’t like letting people down, of course, but I knew we were going to get to the finish line and I always felt calm throughout it all.

Stacey: So good. Everybody just stop and rewind that, all of her thoughts that her clients and her had at the same time, they know I’m going to show up. They know I’m all in. They know we’re going to get to the finish line no matter. What? That’s really good because I think a lot of times – I don’t know – maybe I’m just speaking for myself, but for me I need order, and organization.

And I didn’t used to but I feel like now I need that, at the level I’m at, high execution otherwise my brain can go down slippery slopes about what my clients might think, or what I think, or lots of just un-useful thoughts. We call them low value cycles in 200K. And I could spend a lot of time coaching myself on that, but for me I just make sure. I don’t ever have a call when I’m traveling. That’s just for me a way to ease my anxiety that could easily get flared up. But I will say on the other side of that I also would never let that be an excuse to not show up or figure things out.

And I do think that that my clients do have that observation of me too, or that belief about me, or at least I choose that they do. And I do have that belief about myself. For example, I announced on stage on day three of 200K that we were going to be a couple of hours over. Because my pump schedule had changed a day or two before we came to 200K. I was able to go four full hours before and I was thinking about that actually in the shower today. I was like, “I wonder if it was that I was able to go four full hours?”

Or if when I was out and about running errands and not with my kid and just didn’t have the opportunity or I was at appointments or whatever, maybe I just felt more secure if there was an accident that it was I’d be in my car versus 200 people staring at me. So, I was less likely to push the limits, I don’t know. But we had to take breaks that were unaccounted for. And my thought was, my commitment is that I’m going to give them everything.

My team wanted me to cut stuff out and just honor the time. And I’m like, “No. I can’t cut this stuff out. I love all of it. It’s my best work. And I think it will benefit them and I think they’d rather eat cheese in the back and listen to what I’m going to teach them and be hungry than not get it.” At least that would be my mindset, keep me here till midnight, I’m all in, let’s go, I’ll eat a granola bar. So, I just think that that thought is so useful to have whether you are someone who – you remind me of Michelle, she was a digital nomad when she came to work for me.

She lived in Mexico, she’s lived all over the place and she never made it a problem either. She was always on top of things. So, I think whether you are more free or maybe more like me where you’re more anxious if you’re not organized and I have to be in my office. Either way it doesn’t matter, if something happens that’s unexpected when your commitment is we will get across the finish line, I always show up, I always deliver and you believe your clients do that as well. You do have the ability to be calm and make decisions that benefit both of you. So, I love that.

Alexa: Yeah, absolutely. And also, just remembering that we’re all humans. When you announced on the stage about your pump schedule I almost felt a deeper connection to you, even just as a coach, we’re all humans. And we can bring an element of being humans to this industry. And things happen unexpectedly.

Stacey: That’s so good. I was telling my one-on-one coach afterwards. I was like, “You know what? I think I’ve created this positioning that has not required me to be vulnerable or exposed in any way. Or I haven’t had circumstances that have created that for me in a long time. And this kid has come into my life and humbled and humanized me more than anything ever.” I was telling her the first time he was two or three days old and he possibly had jaundice. So, we had to keep going to these doctor’s appointments so they could do the test.

And you don’t have a schedule with a baby that’s two or three days old. You don’t know what’s going on. You’re just trying to survive. I think I had three hours of sleep in five days. It was really extreme. I used to be such a conservative with my body and I don’t wear low cut stuff or things like that. I just pulled my boob right out in the clinician’s office, baby’s crying, he’s hungry. We’re not doing bottles. There’s nothing else to do. So, the male pediatrician walks in and I’m just nursing on the chair. And I’m like, okay, all modesty has gone out of the window.

So, it has definitely humbled me and humanized me in a way that I could have never anticipated. And I do think the thought that everybody can also choose is that your clients love that. They’re like, “Oh, I forgot for a while that she was a human but now I’ve remembered that she’s human just like me.” And so that makes them feel a little more safe and a little more self-confident, or a little more accepting of themselves and their flaws.

Not that traveling is a flaw but just that if your power goes out, shit happens to them too and they can be like, “Oh, yeah. And their example of what’s possible is this how Alexa handled it.” Which is so good. It’s so good. Okay, so let’s talk about your growth, did you feel like it’s insane? Be presumptuous. I think it’s so great, insane in a good way. But I’m just curious what your thoughts are about it.

Alexa: You know what’s so interesting? Is as it was happening it didn’t feel insane. It felt very natural, and normal, and calm. And I feel I always had this thought that success looks like suddenly waking up to $300,000 and your life feels totally chaotic and you’re flying on these crazy jets around the world and it happens overnight. And I realized that we’re not going to make money that we don’t have the capacity to hold in a responsible grounded way and that success is not going to look like this chaotic whirl storm of cash flying in.

It’s actually going to come in a very natural normal easy way and that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something right.

Stacey: Yes, oh my God. We do kind of imagine that. We do have fear sometimes that there’s two different opposites of that, we’ll have so much money and it will be chaotic and we won’t be prepared to hold it, to handle it, and be responsible for it, make decisions around it. Or that we’ll get there and something will happen and we’ll lose it very quickly or something will happen and we won’t be prepared to handle that and make decisions around that and recover from it. We won’t be able to pull ourselves back up. It’s like the fear of losing it once you get it.

And the way that shows up for a lot of people is once I make a lot of money… I’ll have to maintain it.  And there’s this fear of I won’t be able to do that for whatever scenario would keep you from maintaining it. I have to maintain it, that will be difficult, or I won’t be able to do that. And what really happens is once you make that money you just have a brain that creates that money. It knows how to make that money. It knows what to do to keep generating that money.

And there has been some people that have had success intolerance where they will go backwards for a little bit but they always figure it out. Your brain knows, once it knows how to do something it will be able to do it over, and over, and over.

Alexa: I actually was one of those people that went back a little bit. And I developed so much trust in myself through that process because I know now that I will never go all the way back. I even think about relating this to when I really got into working out and eating differently. There was a fear that oh God, what if I go back to the old way of being? And I just, I realize it’s never going to happen. Yeah, maybe you’ll slip up a little bit, you’ll move back a little bit. But I have so much trust in myself that it’s never going to go all the way back.

I’m always going to turn it around real fast and come back 10 times stronger than where I was at before.

Stacey: That’s so good. I have that fear too. I didn’t go during my pregnancy, I wasn’t able to. But I maintained going to the trainer two to three times a week for two years straight. And I remember there was a period where I was always fearful, what if I stop? I lost 25 pounds and I was just feeling amazing. I’m like, what if I can’t maintain this? And I think it goes back to the commitment. Whenever I would have an injury where previously I would just quit and give up, instead I’m like, “Okay, so the solution is I go to physical therapy. And then I keep going to the trainer.”

I find a trainer first of all that can train me if I have an injury and just not use the parts of my body that that injury has impacted. But also, you know what I mean? Just finding solutions to stay in it or even if I had to take a break, I think I had to take an eight week break and in my mind the difference is maybe I won’t go back, versus of course I’m going back. Of course, I’m doing that. It might be harder. It was uncomfortable especially when I went back. Workouts were so intense.

But there was just never a stop on my commitment. And I’ve thought about that too with nursing. I’ve had so many unexpected obstacles. A time where my milk supply went really down and I had to get up every two hours in the night to keep it up. And before the live event, I was sick for four weeks and we would do almost my entire supply in the freezer. And my supply went down and I had to build it back up. But in my mind my commitment was that I’m going to nurse exclusively for a certain amount of time.

And I just never even thought about otherwise, quitting or supplementing, none of those things even entered my mind. So, if I didn’t let quitting into my mind then it was just the option to figure it out. So, I think that that is so powerful for everyone, if you are fearing maintaining the money or you do have a setback where you are making less money than you were before, you just can’t entertain the option of staying there. The commitment is always I’ll get back, right?

Alexa: I believe that commitment really creates results in so many ways. And even if you take this into the business for example, I really struggled with a simple offer for a long time.

Stacey: I want to know why of course.

Alexa: For a long time, yeah, something about my personality may indicate that committing can be challenging. And once I did it blew my mind just the realizations I had that of course if you’re committed to something and you choose to just problem solve on that one thing over a very extended period of time, of course making lots and lots of money is inevitable. To me it’s 1+1=2, of course. And so, when we become willing to really commit to something and to just problem solve on that one thing and do it again, and again, and again, and again, success is so inevitable.

Stacey: You said it’s like my personality, but what were the thoughts? Because our personality is just a set of thoughts, instead of thinking about ourselves and ourselves interacting in the world. So, what were the thoughts you had about going into a simple offer? I want to do a before and after for everyone because I know so many people are in this slot, what was it before and then what are the thoughts now?

Alexa: So many unhelpful thoughts. Okay, the first one that’s coming to mind was I would always tell myself I have no idea who I serve. And I have no idea what I do. I would repeat this to myself all the time like it was a fact. And I would just tell people, it’s really hard for me to sell because I have no idea what I do. And I just kept saying that to myself.

Stacey: Yes, un-useful thoughts.

Alexa: So unhelpful.

Stacey: And you can easily say that like it’s the news, I guess you could too.

Alexa: So of course, I created chaos in my brain and then it’s Monday morning and we’re helping women with this. It’s Tuesday, now we’re helping women with something else. My Instagram bio was changing on the daily. And it’s so unhelpful, was so un-useful. And on a deeper level I actually realized that I had a very deep fear of being misunderstood and because of that I didn’t want to choose one thing because I had a fear that people would only see me as that one thing.

And I’d be put in this box and this bucket and people wouldn’t understand me. And I did a lot of deep emotional work on this, a lot of that came from my childhood. And I realized that when I understand me I don’t need other people to.

Stacey: Yes, so good. Oh my God, I love that so much. And if you look at the model, when you have the thought or the fear of being misunderstood, now you have to, for everyone listening, you have to do the action line. You have to fill that out extensively and find out how this is true for you specifically, how you make this happen. But I always love, Jody Moore always says whatever’s in our T line ends up in our R line always.

So, if you’re afraid of being misunderstood, what happens is you will take a certain amount of action that will create you being misunderstood anyways. So, if we just look at the simplicity of changing your bio all the time and talking about new things every day then your people are for sure like, “What does she do? I don’t understand.”

So, then they do misunderstand you, you are misunderstood but not because you don’t know what you do and who you help or because you’re just not understandable. But because you create chaos in your brain by telling yourself you’re misunderstood.

Alexa: So good. I had someone even once say to me, a good friend, “I have no idea what you’re doing.” And she’s like, “You post pictures of your smoothie bowls that tell me to feel worthy about myself.”

Stacey: Oh good. That’s really good feedback though, if you don’t want to take it personal, that’s such good feedback to be like, “Hold on, okay, what is not clear about this?” I do think that there is this fine line of understanding, I am going to get clear and it’s going to get better but I do understand the core of what I do and I’m willing to start there. And then any feedback that I get then I’m willing to take that in and adjust for it to get more clear.

I’m in the process of understanding myself but I’m going to go with what I do know and let that be enough as I figure out more, and more, and more. That to me is I think where people have to go, instead of I think, and I’m curious about you, how you bridge that gap. Sometimes it’s too much of a gap for people to go from, I don’t understand what I’m doing to, I’m very clear, and I understand my PSPR and I just know exactly what I’m doing and all of the things. That’s too big of a gap for some people so I’m curious how you bridged that?

Alexa: Well, first starting with not having shame about where you’re at in the journey and in the process is so important. Because there’s a difference between witnessing yourself being in this chaos and feeling as if there’s some misunderstanding versus, and I don’t understand and there’s so much shame. And then you get in an even more low value, low value cycle. So being willing to witness yourself without shame is a 100% so important. And then accepting where you’re at.

Stacey: Not fighting against it.

Alexa: Yes. And then just opening up to the possibility of, maybe I do know. Maybe I could know who I serve and what I do. I don’t need to have my PSPR completely well thought out and perfectly planned. But maybe I could start with the first draft and just toying with that thought. Maybe I do know who I serve. Maybe I do know what I do.

Stacey: I think you are right with that talk. That’s so important to tell yourself, well, maybe I do know. At least I know a little bit, let’s start there.

Alexa: And then just building from there.

Stacey: Yeah. And I talked about this on stage in some capacity I’m sure. But I think that another thing that trips people up is they think that this part of the process of bridging that gap of going from. I don’t know who I serve to I’m very clear about who I serve and here’s my simple offer, and I know how to sell it. Going from that gap or any gap similar to that, that something has gone wrong. I think that we just look to businesses online and we see perfect marketing funnels, and perfect photos, and perfect taglines, and all these client testimonials.

For me, that’s what I thought when I started is I’m supposed to be there now so I’m not there now which means I’m wrong. I’m doing it wrong and I’m not going to figure it out or it’s going to be really hard to figure out and I can’t make money until I do. And what we’re looking at is people who have been doing this for seven and 10 years, much longer than us. Random numbers that I just threw out there but much longer than us most likely they’ve been doing it. I was looking at Amy Porterfield’s and Brooke Castillo’s and being like, “That’s the way my business should look.”

And that wasn’t the way my business should look. And it wasn’t the way it needed to look in order to make a lot of money.

Alexa: Such a good question is what if I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be?

Stacey: Yeah. Then what? Then what would I do? How would I behave and what would I think about myself in this problem solving in my business? If where I am or where I’ve ended up, so for example, if you’ve had a massive fail, there would have been several times in my journey where I remember one time where I was making 10K a month. And then I had a bunch of clients quit and I was then making 6K a month. But that extra 4K was a big deal at that income level. And I’ve had things like that happen along the way.

Or there was a time where we didn’t realize we owed $600,000 in taxes, more than what we’d already paid. So, we had to take $600,000 out of our personal and business revenue to account for that. And times like that where it’s like where you’ve ended up feels like a big fail or you shouldn’t be there. That, telling yourself that, of course I’m going to be here. I’ve been talking to my good friend, Kara, about this a lot, about problems that businesses have that we just sometimes don’t aways encounter a lot of in the coaching industry.

But once you get big enough you do and then not creating shame around that and just being like, “Wait, this is an actual scaling problems or this is the problem that businesses face.” Instead of, “This is a problem I face because I’m wrong and I did it wrong. And I’m not supposed to be here.” And just creating all that shame instead of I’m supposed to be here, this is normal to have these fails, to have these problems, to have these, whether it’s cash flow problems or client issues.

We sometimes tell ourselves, I remember coaching someone maybe it was 2K or Two Million Dollar Group where they had clients that were angry at them. And they were thinking that they can’t go to the next level because that will mean more people will be angry at them. And I posed them the question of, “What if clients being angry at you is always what’s supposed to happen?” We’re just interacting in the world with people who have different thoughts than us so what if that’s always supposed to happen?”

Think about how many people are angry at Amazon, or angry at Target, or angry at a restaurant that didn’t have good service. There’s no place that you patron that you love that doesn’t have people that are angry, or upset, or didn’t think the service was what they expected, or they were upset about a policy or whatever. That’s just a normal and natural business thing.

So, whatever it is for you, I’m trying to give a couple of examples, but whatever it is for you all when you end up in where Alexa said, the space of where you have the opportunity to tell yourself to feel shame and to feel like you shouldn’t be there. What if you’re 100% supposed to be there? What if that’s just a natural part of business?

Everybody’s struggles in the beginning to figure out, watch Shark Tank, how many people figure out how to make a pitch? I was just watching it and one of the Sharks go, they had all said no basically. And at the very end the guy says, nails his one sentence for his product. And Mark was like, “If you had come out with that, it would have been a whole different conversation.” But he needed to be in the Shark Tank situation and fail miserably and hear all those no’s, under pressure to have that sentence come out of his mouth.

And now he knows to change all of his marketing and they were like, “Your whole packaging should say this. It should say that sentence.” But he had to go through that process to get to that sentence. So, you have to go through the not knowing, and the failing, and the doing it wrong, and people misunderstanding you to get it out and figure out what it is.

It’s like learning to walk. You’re going to fall a bunch of times, you might even nail it a couple of times, and then fall some more. But you have to do that to learn how, to get your legs strong enough to figure out how to walk. So, I love that. If everybody takes one thing from this podcast, there’s been a couple already that are massive truth bomb drops, but take that. Wherever you are figure out why you’re supposed to be there and how it’s perfect for you to be there instead of shaming yourself about it and beating the hell out of yourself about being there.

Yes, I know your parents are in the house and all of a sudden I have a lot of thoughts about my cursing.

Alexa: [Crosstalk].

Stacey: Can he hear that? He’s like, “Who is that lady, she’s got a dirty mouth.” So good, okay. Any thoughts to add to that before I move on because I have some more questions for you?

Alexa: Okay, one thought on it is just normalizing feeling any feeling, normalizing feeling any feeling. So often when we’re feeling a negative emotion the first thought is I’m doing something wrong. I shouldn’t feel this way. How do I get out of this feeling ASAP? And when we’re in that space we take all these actions that are so unhelpful to our business and to ourselves. And just recognizing that being in a negative emotion, being in a difficult feeling, it’s a good thing.

We are supposed to be there. It’s part of the human experience. It’s part of growth. It’s part of running a business. And really just taking away that need to always be feeling happing per se.

Stacey: Happy, successful, proud, accomplished, adequate, those are some that I think t we have expectations along the way that we will feel. Something you were saying just made me think about this. I’ve never said this before but what if as you’re making your first 2K, or your first 200K, or whatever your goals, or your first two million, whatever it is. I’m going to be doing this for sure on 20 million.

But what if you imagine every negative emotion that is offered to you on the journey, what if you imagined it kind of girl scouts or boy scouts where you’re getting a badge for it? I got my humiliation badge. And then you get to take that with you, someone who’s a boy scout, or a girl scout for example, maybe they have all these badges where they can go hike a huge mountain because they have all these proficiencies. Each of those badges means a proficiency so you will take those emotional badges out into the world.

And that will allow you to be proficient in your business in ways that you could not be if you didn’t have those emotional badges. Just totally a concept right there.

Alexa: So good. Good. We’re all going to be out selling girl scout cookies.

Stacey: Yes, 100%. We did a long talk to Two Million Dollar Group about this in Orlando, just about growing your capacity to feel negative emotion. Because the only thing that will keep you back in making a lot of money is that, 100% your experience of your own negative emotions or your experience of other people’s negative emotions about you or your work. Someone gives you a really horrible podcast review, I have a couple on mine, I’m like, what? And it’s usually talking a lot about this as Two Million Dollar Group is the idea of being misunderstood.

I’m actually going to do a podcast about that because I have found along the way that most of my earners in that room, their biggest fear when they go out because at that point, I think in the 200K room, you’re starting to go through your journey, the exact journey of figuring out who you serve and creating your simple offer. And then round after round you’ll be honing your PSPR and then your intellectual property, and your process, and your philosophy will start to emerge. But when you go into the millions and you start running Facebook Ads, you have to know what that stuff is.

It has to be very clear or you’re going to just waste a lot of money on paid ads. And to emerge especially if you’re in the business coaching realm or you’re coaching coaches anywhere, you enter the weight loss industry, or the relationship industry, you have to know what message separates you from anyone else that they would be seeing ads for. Because chances are if you’re in their algorithm, other people who do what you do are also in their algorithm. So, it just has to be next level.

Everyone’s fear is always, well, if I put this content out, if it gets misunderstood and people have a negative reaction about it then I have that horrible, whatever emotion I feel about that experience is what I’m going to have to feel. And it feels really terrible and scary so I just can’t do it. And it is really hard. It’s not easy to get this emotional proficiency to expand your capacity to feel these unwanted emotions. But it’s like you have to go through them. You can’t go around them otherwise you’ll just never put your work out in the world and get there.

So, here’s my next question for you, so I’m curious where you were because you said there was a setback and we didn’t really talk about it. I’m curious where you when you signed up for 200K and then what exactly happened in those months to create such a big jump in income?

Alexa: So, when I first applied to 200K, it’s so funny, I actually realized I did during the live event. I had DM due in January after you closed the enrollment for the January class. I at this point maybe listened to one of your podcasts. And said, “Hey there, I know your enrollment closed but if anyone cancels, I’d love if you can let me in.”

Stacey: So good. I didn’t get that message. My team must have gotten it. Did they let you in? Were they so nice?

Alexa: They were so nice. But they said, “Join the waitlist for the next round.”

Stacey: Okay. But you got in.

Alexa: But this was, I wanted to get in the January, for January.

Stacey: Yes, okay, now it makes sense, okay.

Alexa: Yeah. I think I was messaging you maybe a week before the live event.

Stacey: Okay. So, yes, they knew pre-enrollment was coming so they were like…

Alexa: Yeah. So, at that point then I was ready to go. I was reading every waitlist email. The moment pre-enrollment opened, I was all in within minutes of that opening I’m application in. Okay, the second part of your question was what helped build the growth?

Stacey: Yeah. What happened once you were in? Because you were all in, in your mind, but once you were actually in with the materials, what happened to create that 180% growth?

Alexa: So, one of the biggest shifts was deciding that I loved my offer and deciding that I got my clients a 100% results. That was a really big one for me. It completely changed that way that I showed up in my business, in how I delivered in the processes that I shared with them, just everything. It completely changes the way that you approach them when you are committed to, I’m going to get every single one of you across the finish line, it changes everything. And it just, it shifted how I felt about my business too.

It wasn’t just this fun little thing I was doing on the side anymore. It became, no, I’m a CEO and I’m running a business, and I get all of my clients results. And I feel so confident in that.

Stacey: That’s so good, yes. So, if you have thoughts about your business being a fun little thing, that will show up in how much money you make, a 100%. And we talked about this at the live event too, the idea, I told everyone in the room, that they had to be in the mindset of they are businessowners now, they are CEOs. And their number one job is to protect their profit. If that’s the way you think as a CEO, right now for me having 14, I think, 15 employees, my thought is I have to protect the profit because I’m also protecting jobs.

So of course I want to create winning the lottery experiences for my clients, I want to work three days a week. I have all these lovely things that I love to do but at the end of the day I never forget that I have to protect the profit. And for everyone listening, I told them this so that they didn’t get distracted with how many things we offer we offer in 200K and all the amazing content. And then the peer coaching and all the fun people they meet, also learning a new process.

I said, “You can’t just expect the process to teach you something and eventually that money will just show up. You have to always be thinking, while I’m learning this new thing my job is to always to also protect the profit. So, it doesn’t matter if I’m learning this new concept, I don’t have it down yet, or I’m doing a new offer. It doesn’t matter, your number one job is to protect the profit. I think when you think like that you’re right, everything changes from thereon out.

I love that most Melissa Parsons offered the thought, even though I’m the only employee right now, I can imagine there are employees. And how would I behave in my business if people’s income were coming from me and dependent on me, me showing up in my business, me being clear about my offer, me going out and selling it, figuring out no matter what that I have to make money. That that has to come in, there’s just such a difference in that in your ROI and it’s obvious. And that shift for you is the difference of a $30,000 ROI or a $100,000.

Alexa: Yes. I also used to really make light of everything I was doing, make light of my offer and the work. And I realized that it was coming from this place of thinking that I didn’t have demand. And so, I was just going to make light of it so I would never have to possibly take it seriously and not get the results I wanted. But when I realized that there’s always demand…

Stacey: That is so good. I have never heard anyone say that before so I know other people have to be experiencing this. Where the reason that this happens is when you don’t think that you have demand, then you have to make light of it. Because if you were to put something out there in a really strong way and you don’t think there’s going to be demand to scoop it up then you have to sit in failure and possibly embarrassment. And people seeing you crash and burn.

I think the difference of when I do a launch and how big I go in my launches is because I do believe demand is there. And I’m not thinking, I’m going to put this out there and it’s going to be crickets which is what I think a lot of people think. So, then they make light of it so that the crickets feel better. They’re like, “Yeah, but I made light of it so obviously that’s part of the reason why there were crickets.” Or, “I made light of it but there isn’t anyone now to know that, to comment on because I made light of it. I didn’t go hard or go home.”

It’s so good for everyone to hear that when you’re not all in on your business it’s a 100% because you don’t think there is demand. And making light of it or the decisions, or making light of your work makes it easier for you to cope with the results you don’t want.

Alexa: Yes. I was just going to say, when you can then realize that there’s no such thing as there not being demand, there’s no such thing as failure. When you’ve committed to your business and to the infinite game of it, that doesn’t exist, so that possibility isn’t there anymore. Maybe the demand you don’t tangibly see on that launch but there’s just going to be a next launch. And we just keep going. Failure doesn’t exist. We either learn or we hit our goal. Or we learn and hit our goal.

Stacey: And I don’t even think, this is something else I’m thinking as you say this is it’s not even that, because I do think that we experience that and it’s good to think that, even if it’s not in my tangible awareness, it will be. But I don’t actually think the circumstance is ever that it’s not in the tangible awareness. I just think we didn’t say something to compel those people to interact in a way where we would experience their interaction. So, what I mean by that is if you are not clear in your marketing, and you’re not nailing it, what your client is experiencing, they read your stuff and be following you.

But they might be kind of those inactive participants where they’re inspired by you but the moment you nail it for them they’re going to comment and whether it’s fire emojis or they tell you their whole story, they’re going to engage. So, if they’re not engaging it’s not that you just don’t tangibly see them as much as you’re just not compelling them to take the extra step that then would come into your awareness that they’re there. But they’ve been there the whole time. They’re just not engaged enough to comment. And it’s just a subtle shift but you’ve got to make it in your head, just so good.

Alexa: This is so relevant for me. Even this morning I used to have the thought, my audience is not big enough and I would think this thought all the time.

Stacey: I had that thought a lot too.

Alexa: And then this morning I was on my email platform and there’s just two names there and I just clicked on them not for any particular reason and I saw that she had opened almost every single one of my emails. And I had no idea who she was. She’s never come to any event, never engaged with me. And then I clicked on the next person and it was the same thing. And I just realized, wait a minute, there are two people out there who have read almost every single email I’ve sent and have never engaged with me. How many more people are there like that?

Stacey: A lot.

Alexa: A lot, of course my audience is big enough. I just haven’t been speaking to them in the right way yet.

Stacey: Yeah. And how many people are on your email list or in your audience, however you have ways of communicating with them. For every person who’s watching all your stuff and not communicating, there’s probably 10 or 100 times more people like that, that would also be in your realm if you just introduced your work to them, if they just found you. So, your job has to be to believe that that’s true and go out and find those people. They’re there, they would be just like those people engaging. And then they would either be buying right away or more like the lurker status.

But they would be doing one of those two things if they just knew you existed. So, when I say the demand has always been there, before your offer, before you even decided to create your offer, there was someone out there wanting that offer. How I know that’s true is because I remember years before I ever heard of what life coaching was or met a life coach, or found a podcast, years before that I remember, it’s so crazy how vividly I remember this. I was at a coffee shop here in Louisville with my best friend at the time.

And I was telling him that I know I could be a successful person. I know I have that in me, that drive and that ability but I just feel so lost on the steps to take. So, if I could just find someone to tell me exactly what to do to be successful I know that I’m the type of person that would do every single thing they said and then I would become successful. Which is so crazy because it’s true. I found Brooke, I did every single thing she said and then I became successful. I’m a great student and not in a people pleasing kind of way or in a performative way that doesn’t serve me.

I’m a great student in that I will do what you say, I’ll go out and apply it and I will learn. And I will be a sponge and absorb everything. I know that about myself. So, I had that desire for Brooke’s offer. I hired a life coach before I even found Brooke. I had the desire for those offers. They just hadn’t been presented to me yet so that I could take action on them. And then how many people in Brooke’s world, in my first coach’s world, how many of those people are out there, were out there for them before I showed up?

I was just one of probably thousands of people that were sitting in a coffee shop talking to their breast – their best friend saying the same thing. Just everything in language now for me is all about the breast, that’s just all about the boobs in Stacey’s world. Do you know what I mean? That’s so important, when you believe that, everything about daily actions you take, the conversation you have in your brain and the conversations you have in your marketing, all of that shifts when you believe that. And obviously because now you’re making a ton of money.

I have at least one more question for you. I know we’re close to time. So, here’s my question is I’ve asked you about kind of the pre-enrollment and I think just your mindset just interacting with that is the biggest thing that was so impactful to you. I’m curious, your experience, because everyone I’ve interviewed I haven’t gotten to interview them necessarily after the live events.

And we haven’t even started our weekly calls or our weekly mastermind, but having done six months of the pre-enrollment and having access to those materials and then coming to the live event what was that experience for you like, having so much time to prepare and to use the process, and then come live?

Alexa: So helpful, so, so helpful. It helped in getting me just into a place of mentally and emotionally being prepared to be in that room. And I had heard you say this on the podcast before, being prepared to be in the room. And in my head when I heard you say that I would be like, “What is she talking about? Of course, I’m prepared.” But then when you actually walk in it’s so different.

Stacey: What’s different?

Alexa: Okay, I’m going to relate this to a previous experience of mine. I always felt I was always drawn to mindset and personal development work. And I literally thought I was going to become Brené Brown without ever opening my mouth and anyone ever having to see me. In my closet I was just going to become Brené Brown. And so, the difference of things happening in your head and then actually putting yourself in the real life situations is quite different.

Stacey: Yeah, so good. So, what someone’s imagining the live event will be like versus putting themselves in that situation, is that what you mean?

Alexa: Yeah. And I imagine I’m going to walk in and I’m going to be crushing it and everyone’s going to – basically I thought I was the coach. And it was very humbling to walk in and just be like, “Wait a minute, wait a minute here. I have a lot of feelings, I wasn’t expecting feeling, perfect, we’re going to work through these. I’m going to get really humble and I’m going to learn a lot from every single other person in this room.” Which yeah, it was so different than what I had imagined beforehand. I think I always think that I’m going to just have zero feelings or zero emotions.

Stacey: I have that too. I talked about that with my wedding. I just imagined everything was going to go perfect. I imagined myself without zero drama, would be interacting with that wedding week a 100% of the time. My highest self, 100% of the time without any negative emotions or negative reactions. And I had an amazing week but I just mean it is a very unrealistic thing that you could interact with anything, even your best week of your life without having a human brain.

Your human brain is always going to interact, is always going to have thoughts or experience, or things will happen. I landed and I got super dehydrated. And I was so sick for the first day. My brain was like, everything will be perfect every day and be amazing. The lady who was supposed to give us our marriage license was actually legit crazy and tried to threaten us to not be able to get married because – I don’t know, it was just the weirdest situation.

And then she wanted to abuse us further by making us go into her office so she could scold us more for not following her process exactly. Even though we just did what our wedding planner said. It was the weirdest situation. But there was fear that we were going to fly out there and not be able to legally get married. She was like, “Oh, no, I will not issue you a license unless you come sit in front of me in my office.” I didn’t anticipate any of those things. And then the strong emotional reaction I would feel because she was so mean to me.

I couldn’t imagine signing my marriage license which felt like such a beautiful moment, doing that with her. We found someone else in a different city, a random ghost town city to do it and they were very lovely. But I just imagined, my brain will be perfect in this experience. It will have no thoughts. The circumstances will all be perfect in this experience. And it does not matter how lovely it is, if you have that thought going into something you’re in trouble. Something is going to go awry. Your brain must be mistaken.

Okay, so here’s what I love about this. Most of the thoughts or the experiences that you’ve offered on this episode have not been what we normally talk about. At least most people that talk to me tell me this, that I hear about, their experience is fear that they will be overwhelmed, that they will experience a lot of negative emotion. And that they will feel like they don’t belong. And then they come in and the work that is so important for them is they experience this deep sense of belonging that they didn’t expect.

And so, for you it was more like a deep sense of humbling that you didn’t expect. I just want to tell everyone no matter what your thought is, the experience you have is so perfect, it’s meant for you for whatever’s needed. I do know that there are some people who come in especially when they’re making a lot more than 200K. They may not expect to be as humbled as they are when they get in the room.

Several people told me that the third day when I taught launch planning and I went through all of the mistakes that people make in their launches. They were like, “That humbled me on a next level. I’m doing every single one of those things.” And they’re still making so much more money but they were like, “I didn’t anticipate seeing so many things that are available for me to work on.” They’ll just say that, “They’re available for me to work on in order to make more money and have more peace in my business.” So, I love that you shared that. Anything else that came up for you in the room?

Alexa: It was almost like this playground, in my head I’ll have a certain self-concept but then to actually feel it in your body and to really, really believe it is different. And being in that room I felt actually helped me embody the self-concept that I was stepping into, the self-concept of being a 200K earner. In my head, I’m a 200K earner. I’ve been saying that for a while. But really feeling it and going through the experiences that are going to raise you to have the capacity to be at that level is really what shifted things for me.

And it’s completely changed even how I’ve shown up just in the past week in my coaching, in my marketing so quickly. I’ve been getting a lot of messages from people just saying, “Your content has become so valuable. You are showing up so much differently. You feel so much more confident, and clear.” And just being in that room has really elevated how I’m able to show up for my business and for my people.

Stacey: So good. I experienced that as well that’s why I actually love doing live events, why they’re so important to me is I also have shifts like that when I’m in person with a big group of coaches that are on the same mission as me. And when I’m able to celebrate my income and have powerful conversations. And I have found that that’s true even after for example I made $10 million. And then I went to The Life Coach School’s mastermind. And that’s when I really felt it.

I had felt like I was a $10 million earner for a long time but celebrating it, in that success something shifted inside of me when I left. That wasn’t there before and it was like I needed that anchor of other people seeing that and being in the room with them live. And I have found that to be true too with the 200K earners. There were several people that didn’t realize they had made 200K which is so crazy. And then people who also had that experience of it hadn’t sank in truly until they were in the room or until they were on stage accepting their award.

It really anchored them, this is who I am in a way that I think could take longer and not be as joyous and fun as it deeply impacting as when you’re live. So, I love that you said that. I think that that is something that people take away as well. So yes, thank you for offering that. Okay, is there anything that when you were thinking about coming on this episode, I don’t know how much they told you, but anything that you thought, okay, Stacey is going to interview me, her people are going to hear me that you wanted to share, that you thought would be impactful for them?

I always ask everybody that’s a guest. Some people come with actual notes on their computer and they’re like, “Let me look it up.” And some people just have ideas, but I’m just curious if there’s anything we haven’t talked about that you anticipated you would say?

Alexa: Something I had reflect on is just the way that my thoughts shifted around sales and selling. And that really came from being in that room. Before 200K, before having access to the portal, I had so many unhelpful thoughts around sales such as I’m being annoying. People don’t want to hear from me.

You spoke about this in the live room and this was the biggest call out where if I would host a webinar and the next week if I was offering something else, I would exclude the people on my email list who had gone to the webinar, I would exclude them. And when you offered for us to think about that from the perspective of you having us at the live event. And then the next week not inviting us to something. And in my head I was like, I would be confused or I was like, “What? Why didn’t she invite me?”

And that’s when things really started to clique, that of course my people want to hear from me. Of course, they want to know about what I’m offering. And if they don’t then they’re not my people and that’s okay.

Stacey: Yeah. For everyone listening that wasn’t in the room for that moment. What I had given them the example of is I said, “Think about if you were here and then I didn’t offer, whether it was pre-enrollment, or if I came up with something that’s just a side offer, a writing retreat or a day of coaching with me and it wasn’t tailored to 200K. And I decided since you’re already in 200K, you clearly don’t want the offer, you’ll be bothered by it, what would your thoughts be if you weren’t even offered it?”

Then I told I had had this conversation with a colleague, one of the people on our team had said, “Let’s exclude these people, they just got an offer from you a couple of weeks ago.” And I had told her, “If Brooke made an offer and we took her up on it and then she had another offer two weeks later and she didn’t send it to us we’d be like, “Where the eff is my offer? Why didn’t I get invited?”” That would be our thought. And I think that that’s such an important thing to think about is your people want all of your offers.

Will they buy them all? No. But they at least want them. They want to be part of that. They want that experience. It was so interesting because we just did our second ever pre-enrollment and I had this idea that I wanted to do the behind the scenes group in pre-enrollment at the same time. My thought came from a very genuine valuable place of I think people will be very excited. And I wasn’t able to sign up the moment they decide to in the behind the scenes. They’re going to watch the 200K earner panel and be like, “I want in.”

And I want them to be able to apply right away. So that’s the way we did it. And then I had a couple of other thoughts of like I sold pre-enrollment from stage last round. And I knew I was going to do that and when I did that I had already decided I likely wouldn’t do that again. It would be a one time thing and we would just use the video so that we didn’t take away from some of the teaching and things like that.

And then I had a 200K student who was in the room email in and say, “I would have really loved if you would have sold this from stage and really told us all the timeframes of it, when does it open, when does it close, given us all the information.” She was like, “I really want to give you live and engaged with event.” Which is what we hoped, we didn’t want to bombard people with sales emails while they were at the event.

She was like, “I waited until after the event to read all your emails and then it was too late to join in the pre-enrollment. And I really would have liked to have done that.” And I was like, “Exactly what I just said on stage is exactly the same.” Even if they’re literally curly in your offer and it’s an offer to reopen your offer, they still want all the information. And I think we had had a couple of people complain about it the round before. And I was like, “Oh, yeah, it makes sense.” And I just totally jumped in the pool with them.

So, I want everyone to know even at this level it’s very sneaky how we think our selling might interrupt someone or engage them in a way that would be unwanted for them, when they could always opt out. Or they could always have different thoughts about it. My first thought when someone said, “I wish you had not sold from stage. I wanted time to learn from you.” My first thought was, there was time to learn from me. Everyone’s always saying they don’t get to see me sell live. This was your opportunity.

But then it sank in after, maybe I should not do that and so I just want you guys to really pay attention to what thoughts are you allowing them, number one, to have their own experience and choose their own thoughts about your selling. Is your selling decisions coming from a place of I don’t want to bother them or of course they want this information always? I’m like, “Brooke, send me everything, even invites to get certified, send them to me.”

I’m ready certified and master certified, but keep sending them to me, I still want to see them. I still want to experience them. I might not buy but I want them. I want them all, just don’t exclude me from anything. So, we can leave with that unless you have anything you want to offer. I do think for everyone listening just choose that thought, your clients have the thought, don’t exclude me from anything. And if you believe that your clients have that thought, then what decisions have you made, anything you want to add?

Alexa: You said something that really cliqued for me of being okay letting your clients choose their thoughts or not to just let them choose their thoughts. And my thought was, and also be okay with them choosing their thoughts. For so long I was trying to market and sell almost in, I want to say a manipulative way.

Stacey: Yeah, trying to control their minds, [crosstalk].

Alexa: Yeah, to make sure that they liked me. I was controlling for them liking me. And yeah, it’s not very helpful.

Stacey: For everyone listening, this is, if you use the model in your self-coaching, run the model of how you show up when you’re trying to control for people liking you versus how you show up if you weren’t doing that. And if you were just, assuming that they do and being okay if they don’t, those two things.

Alexa: So good.

Stacey: Yeah. We’ll end there. But I do want to, okay, so first of all I want you to tell everyone how they can connect with you, how they can find you and your work. So, let’s do that but then before that I just want to acknowledge you for being such an example of what’s possible for people listening to this episode as a coach. This is what’s possible, you can go from 30K to almost 100K in six months. That’s lifechanging in your business, business changing, business defining. So, I just want to acknowledge you for that.

I hope your parents, I mean, listen, my family definitely never even talks about my business. But it is always my hope for especially you seem young, younger than me. So, it’s always my greatest hope since you’re at your parents’ house it seems, I think your dad was there. I just hope that they understand what you’ve done with your life. I don’t know if they do but I was curious about that too,

Alexa: They do,  I am so blessed, they have been so supportive of me on this entrepreneurial journey. And I’m so, so grateful and so blessed that they support me in every single decision that I make.

Stacey: I love that. Okay, how do they find you? How do they follow you?

Alexa: Okay. You can follow me on Instagram @alexakmart and my website is alexakmartin.com.

Stacey: I love it. Okay, go follow Alexa if you want some inspiration and some smoothie bowls mixed with…

Alexa: No more smoothie bowls, all boundaries and people pleasing.

Stacey: That’s so good. Thank you for coming on and I’m so excited that you will be in the States to come live to our calls, so fun.

Alexa: Thank you.

Stacey: We’ll talk soon. Bye.

                                                                                                                    

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.