Ep #22: The Value of a Coach Part 2

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey everybody, welcome to episode 22. I’m excited for this episode. We have a special – we. Me and the 200K mastermind have a very special treat for you on the value of a coach part two. Stay tuned.

But first, before we dive into today’s episode, I have to shout-out Simone – I hope you’re saying your last name right – Sayol. She said on the 2K for 2K page, “Ladies, it is celebration time in Simone land once again. I just closed by eight consult of the month and am now at $28,000 from just May.”

What? Then she goes on to say, “Did I mention last month I made 6.8 thousand dollars and before that like, $300? Do the program folks. Trust me. Just do what Stacey says and keep going.” Hell to the yeah. That’s the way it works, y’all. This is the difference between people who get results with programs and people who don’t are the people who actually do the work.

And what I’ve realized is that some people think they are doing the work but how we know we’re not is we aren’t getting the results. I had a coach tell me, “I don’t know, I’m doing everything, it’s not working,” and I said, I think the most insidious thought that you have right now is that you’re doing everything. When you tell yourself you’re doing all the work and you’re doing the program and it’s not working or you’re doing the work of an entrepreneur, you’re doing everything your coach says and you’re not getting the result, you’re lying to yourself. It’s not true.

And how we know this is because the people who do do the program are making $30,000 in a month. It’s insane. So I always tell my clients like, don’t ever say you’re doing everything. Just never say that. It’s just not a good thing to say. The only reason you would say it is because you’re not getting results. Just don’t say it. Instead say, what am I not doing? Because I’m not getting the results, so clearly I’m not doing something or I’m not thinking something, I’m missing something.

Instead of saying I’m doing all the marketing stuff and it isn’t working, say what about my marketing isn’t working? Or I’m doing consults but they’re not closing. Why? Don’t lie to yourself and tell yourself that you’re showing up 100% because how we know that you are is you’ll get the results. I didn’t even do that in my business at this level.

Okay, end rant. I didn’t really mean to go down that track. However, I do think Simone is such a great example of what’s possible because she joined my program just a couple of months ago and she’s – I can see her going through the work. She literally posts all of the time, she’s always posting about her a-has and about the things that she’s still working through, going through the module so I know she’s doing the work.

It’s evident. And so I just want to challenge you, no matter if you’re working with me or someone else, do the work and never tell yourself that your coach isn’t showing up for you or you’re in this course that isn’t working for you, or you’ve done that and it didn’t work or it’s not working or whatever, and just say what am I not doing?

Ask yourself better questions. I promise you, you’ll get better results. Okay, enough of that. Let’s dive in. I have a special treat for you today. So last week we talked about the value of a coach. That episode, I’ve been thinking about for months. It fired me up and as I was recording it, I decided to do an unplanned, impromptu call with my 200K mastermind and ask them what they thought the value of a coach was and spend the entire call talking about it.

I have had my producer edit down that conversation to include a large part of it for you, the listener audience, which is so fun. And here’s what’s interesting; after we did that call and I recorded it, after I was listening back to it, it was all the stuff I said when I made this podcast and recorded last week’s podcast, when I made it and recorded it.

But hearing it said from like, a place of just having a conversation among coaches, because that’s sometimes what my mastermind feels like is like, we’re just all masterminding together and having the deepest conversations. It’s the most fun. And those calls are so important too because everybody was just like, leaving – someone was crying, they were so inspired. You could see on their faces, they were like, yeah, let’s get out there and sell some coaching and coach our clients.

It was the best call. And so the way it came off, literally is just the difference of I said it to you guys in the last episode and it was just my thoughts about it and I had taken notes and written stuff down, but it’s so different to even hear me talk about it in the heat of the moment and then talk about it and us feed off of each other’s ideas. Fucking brilliant. I can’t wait for you hear it. Let’s dive in.

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Stacey: I want to dive in right away and I want you guys to write down your answer and then we’re going to share and then I want to do it rapid fire. I don’t want there to be a lot of dead space. I want you to just join in when the next person comes in. So here’s the thought that I want you to think about. What is the value of a coach? Danielle?

Danielle: I just said that it’s having a coach to me, it’s like that one place where you get to share all of you without judgment. That compassionate place where those things that you’re even a little appalled to notice that you’re thinking, that you don’t even want to say out loud that you get to.

So it’s like this vulnerable place to have an honest look so that you can see how you created the life you want, but then also a brand new lens like Lindsay was saying to like, oh, this is my insight to get where I want to go and I keep thinking of that Mary Oliver quote, the what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life? That’s the why. Like, what are you going to do with it? We get to give that viewpoint of other people to see the possibility of what they could do with their one life while they’re here, and that is priceless.

Stacey: Yeah. We get one life. That’s it. Why wouldn’t you put all of your time and energy into figuring out how to get the most out of it because it’s all you get? One time, one shot. And I want to like, go to bed, die, whatever, knowing I got the most out of it. I don’t want to go out of my life with regrets or wishing I had created the business I wanted to create. I don’t want to leave my life wishing I had loved people more or expressed that more, or wishing that I had taken that trip, that I had done that thing.

Even skydiving for me, it was the scary, awful thing I would never do again but I can say I was even afraid to experience that. I want to have experienced all of it and be like yeah, I did it. And I think the – I was just thinking about this earlier is how many people have a running list of all the things that they want to do for their life and then actually go do them? Make it their purpose.

Like hey, I want to do these things, instead of wishing and wondering and thinking about it and hoping for it, I’m going to actually spend my life going after those things and doing them because why would I not do those things? And all of the reasons that we would not go do all the things we’ve ever wanted to do is just because we think we can’t or some other bullshit reason and excuse as to why it’s hard. We don’t have enough money or we don’t have enough time, or all of the other things, and coaching helps you get through all of those excuses.

So everything that’s in the way of you going out and doing something that you care about, everything is a story. And a coach helps you eliminate those one after another until eventually there are no stories left to keep you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do with this one precious life that you have. It’s everything. What’s the value of a coach to you, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth: You know what, I think I just feel better. Like I feel like I grow and change from each thing that I’m experiencing rather than just buffering it or forgetting it or hiding it in the closet really effectively. Like yes, I feel horrible but it shortens the time and I actually grow and learn from my things so much quicker when I let somebody else look at my mind with me.

Stacey: Yeah. Isn’t it like, you hear people talk about all these awful things that happen to them or have happened to them and you hear them talk about their lives as if they are victims to their lives. And it makes me feel sad for them. Marianne Williamson talks about this in her book, The Law of Divine Compensation, and she talks about growth is your divine compensation.

The universe gives you an opportunity to learn something about yourself or to grow or to become someone better than you would have been before this thing happened, and if you can’t find the lesson, then it feels like the worst thing ever in the world. It literally feels like the universe is shitting on you. It feels like god doesn’t love you, no one cares about you, you are forgotten, you’re invisible, you just got the bad end of the stick, or the short end of the stick, and it feels awful.

I used to view my own life that way. It feels terrible. So I think coaching teaches you that divine compensation of everything in life. You lose that walking around thinking horrible things just happened, and then you’re like, wait a minute, they happened and then I get to decide if I want evolution from that or not, which is everything.

I think you walk around carrying yourself differently in life when you can have a coach help you learn from every mistake you ever make, everything that you would consider awful coming your way, and like, so many other things, having a coach to see that, even just the way you experience life. So powerful. Who else?

Speaker: Everyone has pretty much said it all and I just – it’s so simple but it’s exactly what you said. I always thought that I was the victim to my circumstances financially, career-wise, and in my relationships. So just when I intellectually know and now I have results that show me that my thoughts create my results, and if they are still unsatisfactory ones, why would I not get coached for the blind spots that I’m not seeing that are holding me back. It’s just that simple.

Stacey: Yeah. I remember, this is such a big thing for me in coaching too is our coaches speak to us as who we want to be. Not who we are. And I think it’s one of the most challenging things to change your story about you, but then also change other people’s stories about you. Because when we have all these close personal relationships like family and friends, we have been a certain person for them our whole lives.

And our bosses, everyone. So even when we want to change the story about us, what happens is we try to change the story about ourselves and we go out there and we’re met all of the time, day and night, husbands, wives, whoever, we’re met all day every day with people that see us as who we are. And unintentionally, not from a place of not loving us, but just completely unintentionally, they want us to stay that way because it’s more comfortable for them to be who we have always been.

So I always say like, if you want someone to be better, make sure there’s room for them to walk into that. It doesn’t help when you never believe they could be better. So a coach comes in and it’s you working on believing in your but it’s them holding the belief that that’s already who you are. Not just who you’re becoming. It’s like no, that’s just who you are, I see you that way now already, and then I just create the space that you can walk into that and just be that.

It’s like you don’t have to work hard to become who you want to be. You already are and you just have to realize it and so becoming who you want to be is actually the most fluid thing ever if you allow it to be. And I just think the coach allows you to come every week and think about who you want to be and remember who you are and support that version of you. And then you go out into the world and you have – this is why I tell people go out and meet new people. I don’t care if they’re not in your niche.

You’ve got to meet the new people because the new people don’t have a story about you. So you get to introduce yourself as who you want to be, who you know you are, and then you get to let people receive you that way and they meet you with zero prior stories about you and judgments about you, and a coach does that. It’s so fascinating to have a conversation with a coach who doesn’t know anything about you and you have all these stories about you but the coach doesn’t have any of those stories.

So when you even tell stories about yourself, they’re going to be like, wait a minute, I think that’s a story you have about you, that you’re constantly late, that you’re not good at networking, or that you’re not extroverted or you don’t make friends easily. Whatever it is, they don’t believe your crap. And then it helps you to stop believing your crap.

And the more you stop believing your crap and the more you start believing who you want to be and you have that reinforcement with a coach every week, then you go out into the world and even when people meet you and they want you to be this person you were, you’re powerful enough – it’s like a muscle that you strengthened every single week as if you were working out with a trainer.

You’re powerful enough to not step back into that and to not fall back into that. And if you do that for a long enough period of time, it just becomes who you are and then other people have to just get on board. Now they’re like I see. I remember this shift with my family where they were like, wait a minute, you’re a coach now? And it’s like, wait a minute, you’re an entrepreneur now? And then now it’s like, how’s your business going? This is just who I am but thank god I had my coach every week holding me and that belief for me and that’s such a powerful thing.

Speaker: So I was thinking about this yesterday in fact. So the energetic transmission of being in their vibe, for me is super, super powerful. And for me as a client of a coach and for my clients who are in struggling relationships and then they’re in my energetic transmission of no, it can be amazing, let’s think about how it can be amazing for you, let’s consider new ideas.

So not just seeing their own thinking that’s creating their current result, but exposing them to new ideas that they didn’t even know were available to them. And now become available to them because they’ve been exposed to bigger thinking.

Stacey: Yeah. Think about this. How do children learn? The most natural way for us to learn as human beings is by watching other people. So when we’re able to watch someone be in the world and interact in the world and we’re able to be in their presence and experience their energy, like think about when you all came to the 200K live event, right?

And you got to be in that energy while I held that space for three days of making money as super fun and easy, and selling is the most heart-centered thing you can do. And when you’re in that energy, it’s so much faster to learn that way than learning by hearing, right? That is just the most natural way in the universe to learn.

If we can actually go back to learning like we did as children, think about how fast we’ll learn. Think about from the time we’re zero, newborn babies until we’re like, 10, 12, think about how much we learn in that span of years. It’s insane. We learn how to be a human. We learn how to operate in society. And every little thing in between, it’s wild.

If we could learn that way, we learn so much faster, and being in the presence of a coach and seeing how they think and seeing how they act and how they feel and how they approach situations and just their energy is one of the fastest ways to transformation.

Speaker: To me, the most important thing that coaching brings to me is it helps me identify old belief – change belief. Create new belief, and progress. When you progress, it brings me so much joy and happiness. I think it’s something human. I think that progress is really, to me, linked to happiness. If we don’t progress then we just stay stuck or regress and this is where we’re not happy, and I think we’re happy when we progress, and coaching is the best thing to help you progress.

Stacey: That’s so good. We are the happiest human beings when we progress. So even if you didn’t have more time or more money, or some tangible result, whatever it was for you, if you progressed, the value of that progression is immense because how do you value happiness? And I think that’s another question like, I was thinking on the 2K page, I was commenting on someone’s evaluation, but the way I read their client’s response to the objections, I thought like, the thought that came to be is how much does she value happier?

Because that’s really what it felt like the choice was between like, she just didn’t value happier. She saw and believed that coaching would make her happier, but she didn’t value that happiness above the money she was going to have in the bank, which was really interesting. I think that’s really important to know for your clients when you’re talking to them on consults like, do they value happiness? Do they understand the impact of happiness? What do you guys think that is? What’s the impact of happiness?

Speaker: I think it just comes down to when people say the random acts of kindness, when there’s so much craziness going on in the world that we don’t have control over. The shootings, everything, whatever your politics are, there’s a bit of a shit show out in the bigger world that we – one person doesn’t necessarily have the control to fix.

But when you are taking the best care of you and you are shifting your own mind and being the example, and that is just the example that you’re setting for the people around you, whether it’s the guy at the coffee shop or your child or your best friend or your partner or your clients or your coach, that that is your part and then that’s going to affect someone else.

It’s like the domino effect that you’re just putting your head on the pillow every night knowing that you showed up as your best self, feeling the happiness and spreading that by example. And that’s the most powerful thing we can do.

Stacey: Yeah, because like, everybody wants to change the world and even if they don’t want to change the world, that’s not the active thought they have. The active thought they have is that the world isn’t okay now. They want to change the politics, they want to change the climate, they want to change all of the things. It’s like there’s a problem with our world.

So even if they’re not saying I want to change the world, if they think there’s a problem with the world, inherently they do want to change it. And the best way to do that is to fill yourself up so that – because you can’t give what you don’t have. So if you fill yourself up, you can give more, even if you don’t care about the world, to your family, you can give more to your family. You can give more to the people that are the closest to you.

That’s one of my visions and one of my priorities and goals as an entrepreneur is to make so much money and time that I can give to the ones I love in a really deep way. Even if that’s – this weekend I was super conscious with my family to not be on my phone. And I’ve been really working on that. I just had dinner with one of my good friends and I just kept my phone in my purse and was just present. Giving presence.

But I could do that because I’m filling myself up. I can do that because I’ve learned how to be that type of person who isn’t “busy” or distracted or self-involved. I’ve grown into that person through coaching and I think the value that that brings to my life and the people in my life around me is deeper connections. And at the end of the day, at the end of your life, what are you going to remember?

You’re not going to remember what happened on Facebook one day when you got this two-hour argument with someone back and forth or the hot YouTube video of the week. You’re going to remember that dinner that you had with your friend sitting out there by the fire. That’s what you’ll remember. And I also remember too how hard life was when I was unhappy.

Life is hard when you’re unhappy, isn’t it? And we all go through those spurts even now. We’re not – I want to be clear. I’m not saying that now that we’re coaches we’ve just bypassed all the unhappiness. But when you’re unhappy consistently, all of the time, life is kind of miserable. You hear people talk about life being so miserable that that’s just life, right? What an awful thought.

That feels bad, and when you believe that, your quality of life is so much lower. And then the quality of everyone around you and their life is so much lower. What else do you guys think? I’m genuinely curious. I’ve been asking myself this question for months now and like, diving deeper and deeper because I think you can’t sell coaching unless you really deeply understand the value of it.

And these are the things I feel like you have to be able to explain to your clients when they’re making a money decision. This isn’t what they’re thinking about. They’re not thinking about the value of happiness, right? What were you going to say, Nada?

Nada: To me, I’ve done some coaching quite a bit and the more I do it, the more – one thing that I say, when people don’t understand why I’m doing so much coaching because I talk about it a lot because I think it’s great, and I tell them I’ve reduced my level of stress by about 80%. So that’s a big thing, and you’re right, being happy is so important. It brings you peace. And when you’re at peace, you do good around you. I think it’s all linked together.

Once you get that your brain is really thinking alone and when you start realizing everything that you’re thinking and you’re able to change it, but you have to do that with someone. Coaching is I think the best tool to help you do that. And then this is when then you start to have more space for yourself and you start feeling better.

And then when you feel better, you feel happy, and then you have these crazy moments of joy sometimes and you don’t even know why. And you’re at peace. So when you’re at peace, then you do good around you. You’re good with your employees, your family, your friends. It’s super powerful really.

Stacey: And when you’re at peace, what you don’t do is buffer, right? You don’t spend your money on stuff. Everything that we do – this is so interesting. When people say they don’t have the money to invest in coaching, I’m like, but what are you investing in? And people will say like, no, we have no extra money, but if you actually looked at their bank account, the things they’re investing in, the only reason they’re investing in those things, whether it’s drive-through takeout or it’s cable, or a home renovation, whatever it is, the reason they’re investing in that stuff is because they believe it will make them happy.

So the only reason human beings ever spend money is because they believe it will make them happy. The only reason we do anything is to try to either get away from unhappiness or move towards happiness and so if you can just break that system, override that circuit and get to the root of what will actually make them happy, all of a sudden their energy is no longer being wasted grinding out to get something that doesn’t even work.

Speaker: Just to piggyback on all of this, one of the things that it gives to me is personal agency over I get to decide how I feel today. I get to decide what I think today. I get to decide who I’m becoming today, and I think that that’s powerful and that’s world changing. It’s not just life changing for me. It’s life changing for all the people around me that I can teach them that. You do not have to be at the whim of your emotions, that you do not have to drain yourself and all of your energy on panic or stress or fear or worry. You can have agency over all of that. The value of this and the impact of this is life saving and life changing for me.

Stacey: I want you to imagine too how much easier when you’re living in that, you’re radiating the belief of the value of what you offer, when you’re doing that, I want you to imagine how much easier everything else is that you do. All of your marketing, all of your sales, anything, networking, everything is so much easier. Ideas start flowing, inspiration comes everywhere. It’s just – when I’m really living in it, I’m like, oh shit, how do I get all these ideas down at the same time?

And so if you’re not experiencing that, your goal is to get into that vibration. And if it feels like it’s so far away you can’t even get there, you just get coaching to inch your way up. Nothing’s gone wrong. It’s just like the emotional ladder. Sometimes you’re right at the top and sometimes you’re riding all the way at the bottom. That’s the 50/50. The pendulum swings both ways.

But this is it. This is the answer to y’all making money. Like, making more money, helping more people is really, really understanding the value of coaching. And then I think how you know you do is you’re inspiring lots of people into action at different levels. So not just them reaching out for consults but then them signing up and coaching with you and then them getting results. There’s all kinds of levels of that too. But that’s where I really want you guys to spend your time this week is getting super clear. Fill your notebooks up. What is the value of a coach?

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.