We’re diving into an interview this week with one of my 200K students. I’ve got 100K earner and sex coach Danielle Savory on to talk about her incredible success so far, the joys and challenges of reaching 100K, and her journey of being a multi-potentialite, which I know some of you relate to.
You are going to love everything she has to share and I’m sure you’ll be nodding along as she shares her insights on the struggles she has overcome to create the success within her business that she has today. We’re covering the surprising aspects of making money that you don’t expect at 100K, the vulnerability of standing as a thought leader, and how to have self-compassion and have your own back at all times.
Join us for an amazing interview as Danielle shares her unique perspective on making money and the thought work required to be a successful entrepreneur. You’re going to want to stay tuned to the end to hear a fun clip of our interview before we started too!
Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Welcome to episode 40. Today we’re diving into an interview with one of my 200K students, 100K earner and sex coach Danielle Savory. Danielle has had incredible success working with me. She started in 2K for 2K and made over $50,000 in just a few months before joining me in the 200K mastermind.
Since, she has gone on to make a lot of money as a life coach. This is going to be her first 200K year. So fun. She has really been an amazing student of the work I teach and I want you to hear from her. Her experience of making money as a life coach.
In this interview, we talk about the struggles you don’t expect at 100K, the positive impact of 100K and that building a business has on you and your entire family, and her journey of what she describes as being a multi-potentialite. You might find yourself being one of those. And she will tell you all about her experience of working through that and lasering in on her million-dollar core expertise.
We also cover the vulnerability of being a thought leader and putting your brand-new ideas out into the world and having deep self-compassion even when people disagree and don’t like what you have to say. Danielle is one of my favorite people. She is brilliant and highly educated, and she has really studied a lot of different areas of thought and body work, and she brings a unique perspective I think to the podcast today.
And now I’ve also included a fun little outtake of our conversation before we really got started in which Danielle had one of those crazy dreams about being on the podcast and I used to have them about different areas in my life as well. So, we had such a good laugh. I wanted to share that with you just after, if you want a little bit more.
So after the interview, stay tuned if you want a little laugh and you can listen to the outtake. Alright, please enjoy my interview with Danielle Savory.
Stacey: Hey everybody. So we have Danielle Savory on the podcast today and I’m so excited. So Danielle is one of my recent 100K earners. Now, when I say recent, I’m months behind on these interviews. I have like, seven of these interviews to do or eight. There’s a whole list. And we just haven’t been doing interviews because I’ve been putting out really great content that’s in my flow and so I was like okay, we’re going to do the interviews eventually. Here we are. So it’s been a while. How long has it been since you hit the 100K mark?
Danielle: Like, in a year? Like, in a 12-month period. It’s been a while.
Stacey: Yeah. I thought it had been a while. So here’s the amazing thing. This is what I was thinking about because we were recently in California together. And I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about on the podcast and here’s what I want to start with. So we didn’t grab you fresh off the boat of 100K, and so you’ve made way more than that this year.
And you’re going to make way more than that this year. And we didn’t catch you when you’re in the miracle of 100K and now it’s like, we do these cycles where you’re in the miracle of having hit a major goal and then you’re on to a next one, and now you’re in the drama of your next goal.
Danielle: We’re just going to start calling me out right from the beginning.
Stacey: I want to talk about that first. We’re going to talk about all the amazing stuff, but I want to talk about that first because – and I’m going to ask you specific questions – because I think that the people listening think when they get to 100K – I mean, this is what most coaches think.
When they finally get to 100K, all of the world’s problems will be solved. Everything will be amazing. They will have no more lack and they will have an abundance of self-confidence that just keeps renewing itself and never leaves. And clients will just pour to them and everything will be easier and they’ll have all this money and no lack around money. And they just imagine it in this way and not that it isn’t because it’s pretty amazing and we’ll talk about it being pretty amazing in a little bit.
But I like my clients and the people listening, and I’m sure you feel the same way, to also make peace with the 50/50 and stop trying to get to 100K thinking things will be better and easier as an entrepreneur because that just never happens. And so the faster you can just be okay with the whole ride of entrepreneurship, the faster you’ll actually get there and the more easy it will be.
So I just want you to like – let’s speak on that. So tell me, if you could just think about it now, what do you think are the biggest things that people expect to be gone when they make 100K that are totally still there? What are the things that are the same before 100K and after 100K?
Danielle: Yeah, so I think that’s a great question. So the things I think that are the same are just the self-doubt. It’s like that we wouldn’t have any kind of doubt in our abilities or ourselves, or just that thought like, if clients are still coming or consults are still coming. Like every time, if it’s been a little bit of time, that thought comes in like, is this the end? Is this the beginning of the end? Has the well dried up? Is that all?
And I remember having that – before you have those consults, you’re always wondering like, are they ever going to come? And then you’re like, well, they’re probably never going to come again. So this is just the same but just like, a different iteration.
Stacey: Yeah, that’s so good. I remember even at – I was probably around 250,000 and I remember having the coaching call. I remember exactly where I was because the fear was so deep and strong. I was in the parking lot, like I had just gotten a massage. I was coaching with Susan Hyatt at the time. I was like, I just think I’m never going to get another consult. I haven’t had one in months. I’m not signing any new clients. Like you really do think there just might only be a certain amount of success that is possible for you and then you made your 100K and that’s it.
Danielle: Yeah, that’s the last client. There’s no way someone will ever reach out to me again. That’s totally believable. And I even – I wrote down because I could just see it and I was spinning so much in it. So I actually took a piece of paper and I was like, why will I never get a client again? I went there to the place of like, why would I never get one again?
And just trying to find the reasons for it. It was so ridiculous that I was giggling by the end. I was like, this is just nonsense. Let’s knock this off because it was like, the only way that I could actually never ever get a consult again is if I like, crawled into a hole and I was like, but they still could be reaching out. I’ve created so much value like, they could probably call me still.
Stacey: In the hole. It’s possible they could still call me.
Danielle: Maybe. Yeah, exactly.
Stacey: That’s so good. I do think though, the metaphorical being in the hole, in the cave and hiding is when we’re in all of the mind drama. And what’s so fascinating is often they do reach out then.
Danielle: Yeah, they still do. I was like, as long as you have Wi-Fi and a phone you’re probably going to get a client.
Stacey: That’s such a good thought. That’s such a good one. I was just talking to Lindsay Dotzlaf about that in California. I was saying like, I’m just now feeling like 100% in alignment with the money isn’t going to go away. Like, it’s here to stay, I’m going to be an entrepreneur forever, I’m going to make money. And often other people – when Neil was still working, a lot of the good-intended people will tell him like, be careful, it’s going to dry up one day.
And like, what’s so fascinating, most of the time I didn’t think that, but there were always occasions of like – and Neil would always joke like, once a month everything is over and your business is falling apart and all your clients are quitting. But I just don’t really experience that anymore. But I feel like it’s the first time – and I’m at almost two million dollars. And I’m like, it’s the first time where I’m experiencing where it’s – it’s not all the time it’s like that.
But when you’re in a spin cycle of drama, I feel like that’s our go-to thought as coaches. It’s either never going to happen because it hasn’t happened, or it’s all going to dry up even if it has happened.
Danielle: It’s totally the end, yeah. And I love to think about it even – because you know my niche is thinking about desire, to think that you’re never ever going to have a spark again with your partner is the same kind of thing. Like, it’s totally dried up, we’re never going to ever find that spark again, it’s not possible. It’s like, well, let’s think about that. Where does this come from?
Stacey: So good. Neil and I had a – I don’t know, a couple months ago, like a two-week dry spell. Dry spell. We were both just exhausted. I was working really hard. We had a lot of things going on and I had that thought. I was like, that’s it. We’ve had sex all of the times we can have sex.
Danielle: It’s the beginning of the end.
Stacey: That’s what I thought. Like people tell you when you get married you stop having sex and I’m like, maybe it’s going to happen before. We waited too long. Like, it’s going to happen before we walk down the aisle.
Danielle: It’s time to call Danielle. This is the beginning of the end.
Stacey: Actually, it was just we were really tired and everything was fine. It’s so fascinating.
Danielle: And I love that you say too – I think you said it on – I don’t remember where, maybe on a recent podcast. You can always just jump right back in. It’s that thought like, once it starts drying up then I’m going to have to start over. And whether it’s with sex with your partner or with making money, you can just jump right back in and you didn’t lose all this stuff ahead of time. It’s that same thing too. You can just hop right back into the belief of like, oh yeah, clients are going to reach out to me, consults come in a moment.
Stacey: Yeah, I think that’s true. I think the better you handle the what you believe about the negative emotion like, spin that comes, when you’re in it for like, days and sometimes week at a time, what you believe about its longevity, like how long it will be there and why it’s there, what your beliefs about that really determine how fast you get out of it and what you do once you are out of it.
And I borrowed that or used that thought a lot that it’s going to go away and I’ll be right back in it. I was thinking about that yesterday. Yesterday I had a total storm of negative emotion, like I mean, I haven’t had one in a long time like this. I told Neil at nine o clock last night, I’m like, I’m exhausted. He’s like, you didn’t really do anything. I’m like, but my mind has been very exhausting today.
But I had finally taken a big goal that I have of 10 million, and I think this is what you’re going through. We put measurements and stipulations around it. And all of a sudden, once you do that, you make it more real in your mind. So when I think about 10 million in two years, I’m like, for sure it’s going to happen. I have two years to do it. I’m like, 100% I know it’s going to happen based on the rate of growth.
I have all these reasons. But then when I broke it down, I’m like, well, that’s roughly – I don’t know the exact math but roughly $800,000 a month and we’re at 200 now. So I’m like okay, so if I just do it – you know I believe 2K at a time. So I’m like, same process. So we go from 200K a month to 400K or even 300K, 400K, and so on.
But then I was like oh wait, I don’t know that I can do 400K a month. Once I put that measurement, which was so fascinating, I’m like, no, it’s not going to happen. It’s never going to happen. I can only make this amount of money. There’s no growth left. My business can’t do anything else. I coach all the coaches that are in the world right now.
And it was so fascinating to see that and it felt so real. But I remember telling myself okay, this is pretty heavy and we’ve uncovered a lot of stuff, but it will go away. Even if this lasts a week or two, it will go away. I’ll get right back into my belief like, this is happening, this is what we need to do to make it happen. And it does, I feel like, give you some sense of comfort and peace when you’re in it, when you believe you will get out of it.
Danielle: Yeah, it’s that sense of impermanence that I always remind myself of is like, this moment is just impermanent. I’ve been here before. I know I’m going to get out of it. But exactly like you were saying, I think at the beginning, I would beat myself up for the negative emotions. I’m like, if my mind is creating my results and I’ve been in this pity party mind drama for a week, then I suck really bad and like, I took that drama and that negative emotion as a reason to beat myself up even more.
Well then, you’re never going to be able to do it because I have this negative emotion and so I’ve created all these horrible results and I’ll probably keep start creating horrible results. There was just this spin cycle and so it’s exactly what you’re saying. Once you just realize this just happens, some days you’re going to have compare and despair and jealousy. Some days you’re going to have anger or frustration or despair or whatever it is, and it’s totally normal.
Put your hand on your heart, give yourself a little bit of love, understand it’s going to move through you eventually and you’re going to be right back to a belief goddess once again.
Stacey: I love that. So what is one of the biggest challenges you’re facing now? Tell them what your goal is. What we’re working on in 200K, and then what’s your biggest thing you’re working through right now that feels kind of impossible for you. Whatever comes up for you, I would love for you to share that.
Danielle: Yeah. So I think from the beginning and also when I started making my money, I wasn’t all in with the niche because we did our trip in Mexico and that’s kind of where it was uncovered, like obviously I’m a sex coach. There’s no doubt.
Stacey: You came to me with three niches. They were all very great and amazing and you could have had success in all of them. But over the weekend it was just so evident that one was who you are and your legacy that you’re going to build as a coach.
Danielle: Yeah, and really where I felt like a thought leader. I mean, all of it. And then that caused immense amounts of drama after like yeah, this is amazing and my body is full of it, and then I went back and I was just like, what in the actual is going on here? It was so much drama.
So then the first 100K I made, it was really niche-less. It was all the things. It was talking about whatever. And I found that niching down actually was harder for me to make the money.
Stacey: Of course.
Danielle: And it was so interesting because other people think the opposite. They’re like, I need a niche to make money. It was so easy for me to make money without a niche, but because now I’ve really zoned in and I’m like, this is my zone of genius, this is what I’m meant to do, this is who I am, then I want to create the space for those clients, and so I’m having to turn a lot of people away that aren’t looking for aligned with my real zone of genius.
It’s not that I couldn’t coach them well, it’s not that I’m not getting results in these other places, and that’s what’s really hard too. Because when you get to that place where you’re a good coach, you could coach a lot of people on a lot of things. And I could – you said something in mastermind like, do you want to choose the growth or do you want to choose the money.
And I honestly feel like I’ve probably put almost $100,000 out, like on the table over the last I would say two and a half months, for turning people away because I am putting so much faith and belief in where I’m going with my niche.
Stacey: Yeah, and you know, I had that too when I switched from coaching network marketers to coaches. I saw a ton of network marketing people come to me and I know this now from the experience because I took a really long time to kind of to commit and go all in and stop coaching network marketers. And now looking back, I see how much money I actually left on the table, which was the money coming in from coaches once I committed and went all in.
It’s like I was focused on what you just said like, all the money I was giving up, and I didn’t want to give that up and I wanted to keep my program like oh, it’s kind of for everybody. And when I was trying to explain it like it was for everybody, it really was for nobody and so my first year of marketing 2K, it was really difficult because I wasn’t going really all in until towards the end of last year is when I was like okay, definitely for life coaches.
I started telling people no. I started being a lot harder on yeah, this probably isn’t for you. And really lasering in on exactly who it was for and that’s when it blew up. So I think it’s just fascinating. We think it’s going to be really hard to have a niche, it’s going to be really hard without a niche.
Danielle: What if the niche doesn’t matter at all?
Stacey: It really doesn’t. You’re just doing the work, I think. You could have kept making six figures and multiple six figures coaching anyone on – just taking one-on-one clients. You’re such a powerful person that people want to be around you, they want to work with you, they want to learn everything they can from you.
I think you could make 300,000 or 400,000 doing that. But the longer you do it, you’re postponing the millions that you could make in your niche, which is so powerful.
Danielle: Right, and I think that’s what I finally realized. I was like no, I want the growth. And since doing that and really trying to figure out like, one of the things I’m just focusing on is how to talk about my niche. And I wouldn’t have to do that if I was letting everybody in. And I wouldn’t be thinking about it all the time because my clients – every single time I have a conversation with a client who is directly in my niche, it’s just like fireworks.
It’s like fourth of July in my head of like, all these amazing ideas, all these connections being made. I can see what I can write about, what I can post about, what my program’s going to be about, what I’m going to be talking to Oprah about eventually.
They’re just all there and it feels so aligned, and it’s such a better use of my time to be coaching my people. Even if it is less people right now, the value that I’m gaining as a coach, as a thought leader in my place is exponential growth.
Stacey: And it’s so funny to hear you talk about it too because less clients now, you’re still making tons of money. It sounds like you’re coaching two clients and you have so many clients.
Danielle: No, I had seven clients just yesterday so it’s not like zero.
Stacey: I know. I think it’s funny but that’s what we do. I think that’s so good. And I love the idea of fireworks in your brain because a lot of people – not to make this all about the niche. I was talking to a friend of mine recently who’s making multiple six figures and I was telling her that I think her growth is really tailoring down on the offers she makes and going all in with one or two offers instead of four or five offers.
But she has so many creative ideas. And I said but if you just laser in your ideas and you constrain and focus your ideas to one topic, you will start to have – it feels like fireworks in your brain. And then when you get people coming, what people think, it will be so boring to coach on the same thing every time, and really, to me what it feels like every time I’m in 2K and every time I’m doing my podcast and every time I’m in 200K is fireworks in my brain.
And then if you think about the clients that you coach that aren’t – once you know. Because not everybody knows right away. But once you do know exactly what your work is in the world, once you’ve decided, you’ve declared, you have a niche, when you coach people outside of it, what does it feel like? It doesn’t feel like fireworks in your brain for sure.
Danielle: No. It feels scattered. Because at the beginning, that first 100K, I was doing all the things you were saying like going out, meeting people, just as much value. It was like Johnny Appleseed all over the orchards. But it was kind of confusing because I would find something that I really liked or I was speaking out at Nike, I was speaking at a lot of tech industries, I was speaking on the news.
I was speaking to all these different groups, like to mom groups, to high corporate leaders, CEOs, all these places, and I was like, every single time I had to go and give a talk, I had to rethink about – even though it was similar and I was like, I can talk about the brain all day, I can do this, I had to tailor it to that audience.
Once I decided I’m talking to one audience, I got to go deeper with the concepts, with the thoughts, with everything. And it was less scattered. And I think that’s the problem. There’s so many really smart coaches out there or what I like to think of is like, multi-potentialites. People that have potential in so many different areas.
It’s like I could do this. I could be really good at this. I actually am really good at this. And when you start being really good at lots of things, it can be confusing and that high-achiever in you just wants to be good. Like, I can be good at all of these, I don’t know.
And then when you start to go in, and you kept asking me but what do you want to do? And I was like, I really wanted to do the sex coaching but I was afraid, I was vulnerable, it didn’t feel safe. There was all this other stuff and I also – it didn’t feel like the place I was best at yet because I was so afraid to spend time in.
Stacey: Yes, that’s so good. What did you call it?
Stacey: Multi-potentialite. That is so good. Because I see this a lot too with coaches come in and they see my success and they’re sitting on a goldmine niche that is their genius. They just haven’t developed it yet. And I want to talk to you about thought leadership too, but there isn’t anyone yet that has developed thought leadership and specialties and being that leader in the industry with that niche yet.
So they don’t have anyone to look at as a framework for their success. And then they get really excited because they start making money. They join 2K, they start making money, and then they’re like, oh I see Stacey’s framework for success. Let me just jump on the coaching coaches in business and making money train.
It’s so easy for her, there’s such a high demand, I’m in this program, there are all these people that could be my clients. And they give up their genius and the thing that no one’s done to do the thing that somebody else is already doing very well and killing it in, and they don’t even see it.
And I’ve seen this probably 20 times just this year, and I’m like, what are you doing? This is such your genius. You have this amazing calling, but I also really love this and this, and I’m like yeah, but I really love relationships. I could talk about sex and relationships. I love talking to you, I love talking to Claire, I love talking to Maggie about all the things. But my zone of genius is sales.
And really, what I built, nobody else had really built before. So it was really scary. So I think knowing if you’re a multi-potentialite is very powerful and then asking yourself that question of if I could really make any of these super successful – another question I asked you is if any of these could be million-dollar businesses, which one would you just want.
Danielle: Yeah, it totally is. And it was that fear. The fear that maybe this wouldn’t work. And that’s the one I’ve had to come over the most. Part of my huge belief plan over the last six months I would say is really believing that women actually want to have a better sex life or they would pay money for it.
Because my brain was like, people don’t pay for this. People don’t actually want it. Women don’t really care. It was like, it wasn’t so much belief that I wasn’t good or I didn’t have value or I couldn’t be a thought leader in it. It was that people don’t pay for this and that was the one that was getting in my way was belief in my concept.
Stacey: Yeah. And what’s so fascinating is when you struggle with belief in concept, what you don’t do – if you look at the model – is go create belief in concept.
Danielle: Totally. And also, I noticed what I was doing is I was trying to convince people in believing that this was important instead of the assumption like, what if I just talked to them like they already think it’s important? It’s like you talk to your coaches, it’s like duh, of course you want to make money. That’s assumed. So when I started switching and speaking to people like, of course you want a better sex life, you would be silly not to. People want this.
Stacey: It would be silly not to. It’s pretty amazing.
Danielle: Totally. I mean, it changes everything.
Stacey: It does change everything. I really do. I was thinking about you the other day because I think there are so many women who want to be seen. They see my life or one of the 100K earners or 200K earners in our community and they see their life looking kind of fabulous and amazing and so pleasurable.
And they’ll tell me like, I’m so jealous of you and Neil’s relationship. I want that so bad. And I think it really does boil down to your ability to create pleasure for yourself. To be able to experience pleasure in everything. To think you’re worthy of it. I mean, all the work you do I think is the missing component for so many women when they go to run businesses.
Danielle: Totally. Especially when they run businesses because just – I’m not going to nerd out, but all the parts of the brain that are required, it’s like, just by focusing on sex, you hit every single part that you need to create an amazing business.
Stacey: I love it. So this is what I meant when I said I wanted to talk to you about thought leadership because you and I both experienced this as well, and I think that this keeps coaches too from stepping into their work, their calling, the thing that they really want to do. I’m thinking of someone in particular right now, but I feel like I come across this constantly.
They don’t have that person to look up to that’s already producing similar content because they’re going to be the first one to lead the way to do it. And I think it’s so scary and takes so much courage to put stuff out there that hasn’t been said, and sometimes contradicts what other people are saying. Or even your just current awareness and understanding of it contradicts what other people are saying.
It can feel very vulnerable to put that out there. So I experienced that a lot with my stuff and there are many times I submit podcasts and I’m like, oh my gosh, or I’ll send stuff to Lindsay and little screenshots of notes I’ll be like, can I say this? Is someone going to be offended?
Danielle: She’s like, probably, and you should still do it.
Stacey: Well, you could reword it a little bit. But when you’re really powerful and you have powerful ideas and the way that my brain thinks is I just want to get the information to you. I don’t want to get caught up in what’s politically correct or not, what’s going to offend someone and not. I just want to give the powerful information the way it comes to me.
But I think that you’ve experienced this too where putting that out there is very exposing. And so I would love for you to talk on that a little bit for the people that – for the coaches that are listening that want to do something that they haven’t found a role model yet that’s doing it well.
And it may be because they’re not out there and they’re creating something brand new, and maybe they’re speaking against the norm of what other people – maybe the medical industry, the health industry, like, speaking against something completely opposite of what society has been taught. Talk about your experience with that a little bit.
Danielle: Yeah. I mean, other than talking about sex just being vulnerable because it’s sex, I think that has been my hugest hurdle is because I mean, people will take pictures. Like, one of my clients recently sent me something she saw in a doctor’s office that was like, this drug for women’s low libido and all this stuff. Or all the articles – most of the articles you’ll read, they are so focused on, in my opinion, completely the wrong things.
And that was scary. I was like, well, what if some expert comes and is like, you’re wrong, Danielle. I have these visions of like, they’re writing or they’re calling me out on some news program. I do this fabulous interview and they’re like, how you see on Fox news and they’re just like, telling them all the reasons you’re wrong.
And I was like – it makes me even hide just thinking about that. Because a lot of my concepts, they’re not talked about. I remember a long time ago, I want to say it was like, three years ago I went to a workshop with one of my mentors, Rick Hanson. He’s a leader in the neuropsychology mindfulness Buddhist world. Somebody I really look up to.
And he was giving a talk on hardwiring happiness. And I’d already been developing this concept based on other neuroscience research and stuff that I had been doing, and female pleasure and the orgasm, and how that can really help build the grey matter in our brain.
So I wanted to approach him, not to get too nerdy, to talk to him about this. And he’s like, meek, smaller, super smart, shy guy. And then I’m just saying, so can we talk about the orgasm? He was so sweet and to see this man that I’ve read all of his books, he’s autographed all my stuff for me, talk about this, and he was like, I’ve never thought about that before.
So we just got into this whole long conversation about it and even in one of his programs later, he ended up doing a video on pleasure. What I realized was like, I am having very unique cutting-edge ideas. That didn’t make it feel safe for me to put them out there just because my mind was like, but you don’t have a PhD in neuroscience. You’re not a sexologist. So obviously then I can’t have ideas if I don’t have letters after my name.
Stacey: I can’t have ideas if I don’t have letters after my name. That’s why you came and coached with me. I don’t develop things correctly, I have terrible grammar, I use words when they shouldn’t be used.
Danielle: And I think it was just that thought and being in that community of academics because that is a very prevalent thought. And so I had to – this is where my self-compassion practice came so into my life in a whole ‘nother way because I realized I can use my self-compassion practice to be my best friend, my supporter, my whatever that even if other people didn’t agree with my opinion, I got my back. I was like, baby girl, I got you.
Stacey: Even if they were on Fox News?
Danielle: Yeah. I’ll probably feel hot, like my pits will sweat. And then I would just take some deep breaths, and I got your back, baby girl. Like we got this. We’re going to be okay. So it was once I realized the worst thing that’s going to happen is stuff that I’ve already been through so many times in my life.
Rejection, embarrassment, not agreeing, people putting you down because you’re shining too bright. All of that stuff, that’s the story of my life. So there’s nothing new here and I know how to handle it.
Stacey: Yeah, that’s so good. I love that. And I think it doesn’t really get better until you start putting the work out there. It’s almost like a muscle you build where now I’ll put something out there – first of all, when you’re putting little – it’s like in the beginning, you put just a little of your ideas out there. And so because you’re putting so few out there, they all feel very important. The whole world is riding on all of them.
Danielle: You type them out then you slam your computer shut and you run out into the woods, you’re like, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s not a big deal, but it’s a really big deal.
Stacey: Yeah, but the more that you put them out, when you’re putting them out like, every week, every day, you feel less and less tied to all of them being received well and all of them being accepted or people having different opinions about them. And I even feel like now that I do a lot of Facebook ads, I get a ton of people, which I think is just normal in the world, but you get a ton of people that just want to be combative on Facebook and they want to call you out. They want to argue and they want to shame you.
I get a lot of people trying to shame me about loving money and being a life coach. Like they don’t think those two go together, which is my purpose in the world. Yeah, I can be a life coach and be fulfilled and happy and not buffering at all and still make a ton of money. And if you are doing all those things, who cares? You get to decide.
So anyway, I see a lot of that and I used to be very triggered by it in the beginning, and then it was like oh, this is just part of the game. And now I try to kind of take my brain to a place in my mind where I welcome all disagreements. Everybody that has a different opinion of mine because I think – and this is what I’m curious to know what your self-compassion practice is.
But for me, I think a big thing I do is use either what I imagine people will disagree with because that’s just my thoughts reflected back to me, so what I think people will disagree with or be triggered by, or what people actually disagree with that are triggered by because they say the words. I use that to get even more clear on what I believe, why I believe it, and if I love my reasons.
I just go even deeper into my own knowing about it, especially when it comes to making money and all the triggering things about having lots of money, even as a woman. So I really use it to fuel and grow my own belief, and then the way that I might teach my clients, I think it’s so helpful. But in the beginning, you’re like, oh my god, this is the worst thing ever. So tell me a little bit about your compassion practice and then I want to dive into all of the amazing things about making 100K.
Danielle: So well, I think it’s become two-fold. So one of the things I really realized when we first started really doing this journey, like you and I together, was how much I would take somebody else’s opinion that was different of mine, or even an evaluation. And instead of looking at this like, maybe there was a little mistake or there’s something I could have done wrong, my brain immediately created as I’m wrong.
So that was a huge realization for me. I might have misspoke or did something or even last night I noticed my brain wanting to go there. I saw someone post – not even somebody I’m really friends with or anything, but said I’m not on Instagram trying to sell myself. And I immediately saw that and I was like, oh, am I doing that? Do people think I’m doing that? Oh my gosh, am I wrong?
And I just noticed my brain and that sinking feeling where it’s just like, your whole stomach feels like it’s caving in. And I was like, well, here it is again. I’m taking number one, somebody else’s word that has nothing to do with me. This is obviously their own thought. I’m making it mean something about me, and more importantly, I’m making it mean I’m wrong.
In that moment, this is always my self-compassion practice is I take my hand and I put it on my chest and if I can get skin to skin contact, that’s even better because it helps that oxytocin, which is like, our nurturing hormone release. So I do that and I just take some deep breaths and I say to myself like, what exactly it is I see.
I notice that you’re feeling shame or I notice you’re feeling whatever. So stating what I’m feeling, like you’re feeling jealousy. And then I remind myself that this emotion is part of the human experience. So of course, you’re feeling jealous, baby girl. This woman is creating something you really want. Aren’t you glad that you know that?
Jealousy is just part of being human. Like, of course. And then I add just some words of encouragement like, I love you, you’re so strong, keep going, we’ve got this, something like that. So it’s just kind of this three-part process that I do.
Stacey: I love that. And I think it’s super important for everyone that hears that, I think some people’s brains can go to, but that doesn’t work for me. That’s not how I talk to myself, or that feels kind of like a little woo. And I think it’s just a practice of dropping into your body to be able to love yourself.
I think of love as a verb and it’s like, what you do in that moment and it isn’t woo. Even if it’s uncomfortable for you at first, I don’t think it’s out of your ability. It’s just out of your habit.
Danielle: Oh yeah, it was so uncomfortable at first. I trained with this woman, she actually wrote the book called Self-Compassion and I trained with her like, five years ago. And there’s so much science now to support this practice. But if anybody wants it, I’ve got a free download of exactly that practice they can read through too.
Stacey: Yeah, if you send me the link we can link it up in the podcast show notes. So good. Okay, so let’s talk about what is amazing about making 100K? What’s way better than you thought it would be? That you couldn’t have even imagined or factored it in?
Danielle: So one of the things, and it’s kind of a silly one, but for me, a huge thing was like, oh my goodness, I could be the breadwinner. There’s something about that that’s just really fun and not from – maybe there is a little bit of competition there. But more importantly, it was just like, it’s just such an empowering moment for myself because I’ve spent so many years supporting my husband’s dream and his business and what he was working on that oh wait, what if the future of my business is actually what’s going to secure our family? Not yours.
And it didn’t have to be like, oh it’s not that you’re not going to be, but I could be too. And that was such an empowering place to step into as a woman that even though I’m very progressive and forward-thinking and feminist, I didn’t realize that was a thought that I was having. And so that was a huge one for me. And it really changed the dynamic of our marriage and also just me in our family in such a different way.
Stacey: Tell me about that. What’s the different way? Because I also – and I’m sure you have experienced this, for so many new coaches, one of their biggest fears is either their success or their growth or the money they invest or a combination of all of those things is going to change things for the worst. And oftentimes, while they’re in that shifting and changing and growth, it does sometimes create combativeness in the marriage or discomfort or discourse of some sort for one party or the other party or both.
And so I think many times, the people listening here don’t think about it could help their marriage for the better in such an amazing way. So what changed about that for you?
Danielle: Well, I think that it was my own confidence. It’s not like – I mean, everybody that meets me is like, you don’t have a problem with confidence. But there is a whole ‘nother level of confidence I feel like that I got to step into or even just saying stuff like this morning, our daughter is sick and I had this interview.
And I was like, babe, this is non-negotiable. I’m going. So you need to figure out whatever is going on with your day and whatever. And not in a rude way, but this is being able to be honored and I am doing this and having him see that and being like, of course, I’ve got this, go.
And so it’s that entrance of equality that is – on a totally different level that I think has just brought its passion. He looks at me, it’s not like – I mean, he’s always loved and cherished me dearly. But seeing the passion in me going after my dream, seeing that excitement, seeing me just being lit up and alive, also the fact that he gets to be a subject of research and development for a sex coach, so it’s really not…
Stacey: That doesn’t hurt.
Danielle: That doesn’t hurt at all. He’s like well, if you’re a thought leader, maybe we should, you know, so you can get more content.
Stacey: I love it. Good for him. Good for him.
Danielle: So I mean, there’s that, obviously. But you know, I think it’s just that. It’s just me as a woman really shining and coming into my own gives him the chance to fall in love with me at a totally different level. And cherish this woman that I am and have been and am becoming.
Stacey: That’s so good. I experience that as well. It’s so fun to hear people tell me when they’re like, the way that Neil speaks about you, he’s so proud of you. And I am often very proud of myself. That is never something I am searching for outside of me. But I realized the other day how good it feels when he tells me how proud he is of me. It really matters.
And not in a way that I need it but just, it feels so good to have a partner say I am so proud of you and the way that they see you, that entire experience, it just feels really good. Being seen in your dream and doing your work in the world and being seen in your power, and then being loved and respected more for it. So good.
Danielle: It’s huge. And being a mama of two daughters, that already chokes me up thinking about it, but there’s one thing I think as moms or parents in general, we always tell our children you can be anything you want to be. Go after your dreams. You can do it. But it doesn’t land the way it does when they see your mom doing it.
When they wake up and it’s 7am and you’ve already been on calls for two hours, or you’re going to do this. And I heard one of my daughters, she had this little boy over and they were playing family and – so they had a little baby and they were taking care of the dog. And he’s like well, you know, I’m a cop so I need to go and go to my job.
And she was like, I’m not going to stay home and watch the baby. She was like, what do you mean? Just because you have a job, I’m supposed to stay and watch the kid? And I mean, she said it in this sweet way. He was like oh, why? What do you do? She goes, well, I’m a boss lady like my mom and I have some calls to get on.
Stacey: That brought tears to my eyes.
Danielle: And it was that dynamic like, already is planted in her head that just because her future partner might have this job doesn’t mean that it’s her job to be at home because she can be whatever she wants to be.
Stacey: Literally have tears coming out of my eyes. That is so good. That is something I experience and I’m sure you’re in 2K so you see so much drama around family life and the family dynamic and trying to build a business and be a full-time stay-at-home mom and that’s how the dynamic’s always been and we’ve never questioned it and this was the agreement we made.
And so much guilt for stepping out to say I want this for me, I’m going to build my business, I’m going to take time away from the family to do this. Again, it’s like that thing where we think we’re giving up something and we have no idea if what we’re giving up is going to be worth it. Because what we anticipate or what we are faced with in our own brain is all of the resistance and the worst-case scenarios and we don’t think about really truly, you can tell your kids that they could be anything they want or you can show them.
Danielle: Right. And it just lands and seeing them do it, and not to mention because that was a huge fear of mine, that kept me back for about two years in my business was that fear you’re talking about. And I have never been more present with my family and with my children. I can’t explain how much better it is because I feel like now they get all of me, where before, they only got parts of me because I wasn’t all of me yet.
I wasn’t living into all of me. And now it’s like, I’m not denying parts of who I am, which is this woman that’s creating this amazing business and changing lives. That part was not lit up and now I have all of me and I get to give all of me to them. Plus, I’m just more present with them when I am with them during that time.
Stacey: That’s so good. Okay, I’m going to switch gears for a minute because I have three questions left for you. So tell me about – I want to talk about the model that got you to 100K because we do models in 2K and in 200K. What’s the model, the thought, the feeling, the action, and the result – the thought, the feeling, and action that is going to create the result that you want.
And I often think we think when we imagine 100K, we think excited will get us there. These very fluffy things. Confidence will get us there. So I’m just curious if you remember the predominant thought and feeling that got you to 100K.
Danielle: At the beginning, one of the main things that I kept doing was every single month was I created new thought of like, an amount of money and it’s possible until I reach that possibility.
Stacey: So give me an example of that.
Danielle: So it would be like, it’s possible for me to make $18,000 in a month. And that was just very specific. And first it started at $5000, and then it was $8000 and then it was $10,000, and then it was $15,000, and then it was $18,000 and it’s gone up and up and up.
And so I just thought that every day. It was the label of my alarm clock when it woke me up. And when I got into a place of possibility, it was curiosity more than excitement. There was a little bit of excitement when I was like, oh, that’s possible. But it wasn’t like, out of body excitement. It was just kind of like, wouldn’t that be fun? Or how fun would it be to try?
It was more of like, that curiosity about the fun journey of trying to see if that is actually a thing. And one of the other thoughts that I noticed was like, a thought of I just don’t have time for that. When my drama came in, the months where I’ve done $25,000 to $45,000, those kind of months, those have been my busiest months. I sold a house, all these things going in my family.
Stacey: Give me all these things going on because we talked about that. That’s such a good example. The month that you made the most money, what were all the things that were happening?
Danielle: Oh my gosh, it was so crazy. So the month that I made the most money, it was $42,000. Maybe a little bit more than that. And I had decided that we were going to buy a house and we didn’t have an offer accepted or anything but I was like, well, we have to get our house ready to sell.
So we completely helped out, remodeled, refreshed the house we were living in. We packed all these boxes and put them in a garage. We went to Alaska for over a week for a wedding. I got really sick because I have some autoimmune stuff and so I was having at least one, if not two doctor’s appointments every day when I was in town.
We found a lost dog that lived with us for a few days. And then we actually found a house, made an offer within 12 hours, got that offer accepted. Went through all of this stuff of buying that house and moving into that house. This was all within a four-week period. And I feel like I’m forgetting something like, I think the kids were at home sick from school.
Stacey: That’s what I was thinking. I thought you had kids at home sick and you were like, I remember you messaging. But this is so interesting. Actually, you posted it in 200K. You had this thought of like, I just don’t have time for this. And not in a way where you’re complaining like oh, I don’t have time for this, but like no, I don’t have time, not for the things that are happening but for the drama about the things happening. There’s just no time for it.
Danielle: No. I was like, I can just believe that clients are coming and I’m going to keep going on my business and I kept going on my walks every morning and I would just post when I could or show up on Lives during those walks. I was so detailed in my scheduled. It was like okay, contractor here, this here.
Stacey: You had to honor it.
Danielle: And I just had to honor it and I showed up, and there was no time for procrastination or wondering or doubt. It was just like, I’m doing this and I was like, well, wouldn’t it be great if I just made my $10,000 in the first weeks since I have all this other shit going on the rest of the month, and then I just kept making $10,000 every week.
Stacey: That’s so good. I love that. Yeah, I mean, literally, I just hear it all day long. All of the things that people have going on in their lives. And I said this to a client the other day, I’m like, it’s all bullshit. In those exact words. I’m like, what if that were true? What if it’s all bullshit?
And she was like no, it’s not bullshit, this is stuff with my family. And I’m like yeah, it’s bullshit. It’s bullshit in your mind that’s keeping you because I know so many women who have families who are totally present with their family. They feel amazing about the time they have with their family and they have multiple six-figure businesses that they don’t just set aside when life happens.
They’re able to do both. How is that possible? Because there are circumstances in the world and then our thoughts about them. And your thoughts that month were like, listen, we’re not going to indulge in any drama. We’re just going to stick to the schedule and get it done.
Danielle: Yeah, and it was just tightening up. I always think about it was like, where’s my mental leakage. So it was like, tightening up so that certain things weren’t going to leak. I just kept a tight ship on my mind that month.
Stacey: So good. Okay, so last question because this is what people are really going to want to know. Save it for the last. What did you do to make 100K? I’m curious, what did you do?
Danielle: That’s a great question because if I knew the answer then I would probably be doing it right now. Because I mean, my mind – that’s the craziest thing is even after you’ve done it, your mind will go back and be like, no, but what were you doing, Danielle? Let’s really look at your journals and see what you’re doing because we need to do that.
So it’s so interesting that your mind immediately goes back to the action versus the thinking. And so one of the things that is constantly on my belief plan is reminding myself my mind creates the money. My thoughts create the money. My actions do not.
So one of the things I worked on every single day to make that $100,000 was getting into my body with that belief. Into that place where it was done. And I did a lot of walks, and on these walks I would think about my clients, I’d think about where I would be once I made that money or how fun it is, or how fun it was going to be.
I just got myself into the energy of that woman. And I felt it in my body, and then from that place – I had a lot of times, that’s when some ideas for a post would come in or something else from that place that it was landed in my body. So I would quickly record on audio because I wasn’t always in a place to type it out or send an email or whatever.
So I tried in these moments where I felt like it vibrating in my body, this place of it being done to capture those little nuggets, and then I would use them later when I wanted to post or I wanted to show up. So that was really helpful for me so that I was getting those ideas and those thoughts, capturing them when they were happening and then using them to show those to the world.
So I think that was a huge thing. And I kept focusing on the clients I did have and how amazing they were and how much I loved them and how they were killing it, and that just helped my belief in the process and belief in people changing. That triad. That really helped solidify all that triad of beliefs that made me inspired to just go out and speak more.
Stacey: And when you’re talking the triad, you’re talking about I teach in 2K that you have to have the belief in yourself in people wanting what you have to offer and having the ability to get results, and the belief in your products to be the thing that helps them. You have to have all three lining up. And if anything’s missing, it’s the number one reason you’re not selling.
Danielle: Exactly. So I really focused on that, and I kept going through and I mean, I’ve gone through the whole 2K process I want to say three times now and did the things because every time your mind is in a different spot, something’s going to land differently. And I let myself not be an expert in the sales.
There’s this quote, like a Buddhist quote like, the beginner’s mind, there’s so many possibilities. In the expert’s, there’s none. And going back to that. Because if I keep being a student of this work and keep being a beginner, there’s always something new I can learn and new possibility and honing in on that skill versus I know, I know how to do consult because I’ve closed a couple. I’m like, let’s learn more. Even if they said yes, what can I learn from this?
Stacey: Yeah, I’m such a constant student. I feel like that has been what has made me so much money this year is I have been a student. My medium, I chose copy. I have my podcast, I write emails, and then we post them on Instagram now so we’re adding that to it. But it’s been emails and podcasting. That’s how I’ve been sharing the message with the world. I kind of moved off Facebook.
And I just went into this whole year I’ve stayed in student mode and I haven’t been reading a ton of books on copy and I haven’t been taking courses on copy. I’ve been doing the work, like testing and trialing and erroring it. And it is such a profound impact when you just stay in student mode.
And I also want to shout you out for that because it’s so fascinating. My most successful 200K students that are in the mastermind all say the same thing, which is they’ve done the 2K process three, four times over and they keep going back and learning new nuggets and learning new things. Because it really is the foundation that I teach is what will maintain all the way through millions of dollars. It is the work.
And so it’s almost like the model where it’s like, that’s the foundation. You keep going back to that over and over and over and over again. We don’t need to keep adding all these new things. We just need to keep perfecting the thing we’re already doing.
Danielle: Right. And I think that was that first time, it was so – we read that book, the Essentialist, right? I didn’t do anything else. I didn’t have any other coaches. I only did the 2K and then I did 200K. That’s it. And I just focused on that. I unsubscribed from all the other coaching emails and I’m like, I’m going to believe that this is the thing that’s going to make me money. And if I fully believe that and keep learning it over and over again, it did.
Stacey: It makes the process the constant, and then you’re the one that just keeps changing instead of what a lot of people want to do is make – change a bunch of other things outside of them, thinking that it’s those outside factors, and then they never change themselves.
And so if you’re the only thing you’re ever allowed to change, your brain, what you think, how you feel, and what you do and how you approach your business, if that’s the only thing that can ever change and you just choose one thing, even if it’s not my thing, even if it’s somebody else’s teaching, if you just choose that thing and you go all in and you never let that be the thing you question, you will have to change yourself so much in that process. Eventually you will make it work.
Stacey: 100%. Okay, I love this. I think this is going to be so helpful to so many people so I am very grateful for your time.
Danielle: Thank you.
Stacey: So tell us what exactly you do in your niche, who you help because I think there are probably people that listen to this podcast that could totally use your coaching and benefit from the work that you do. And maybe they don’t even know it until you tell them what it is you do. So what do you do? Who is the perfect fit for you? And how do they find you?
Danielle: I love this. This is what I’ve been working on is talking about this. So I would say my perfect fit client, it’s high-achieving women. Whether it’s perfectionist tendencies or the multi-potentialites, or people just really going after it, they typically tend to be entrepreneurs or business owners of some kind because they’re go-getters.
And this is just one area of their life that they haven’t focused on. Sex. Sex. I think we’ve gotten that. But the approach that I do with this is not that it necessarily – maybe it’s a pain point for you. Maybe it’s something that you’re having some things are going on, like not having sex or not having great orgasms.
But for a lot of women that come to me, they’re like, it’s fine, there’s nothing wrong, but I want it to be better. And I think when we focus really – what I like to think of it is as going after our pleasure potential. So wherever you’re at, there’s always a potential to grow this part of us and this pleasure potential we’re leaning in to.
And the beautiful thing about this, like I said, is you can kind of fake it until you make it in a lot of areas. I would even say sometimes with making money to a certain point. But with sex, your body isn’t going to lie. So you might think you’re being kind to yourself, you might think that you’re being able to quiet the chatter of your mind and be grounded in your body, but your body will never lie.
And you’re not going to be able to reach that level of pleasure unless we line these things up. And so it creates confidence, it creates focus, it creates compassion, it creates connection, it creates all of these things that then help women in every area of their life.
Once they’re like oh, I know what I want, I know how to take care of it, I know how to ask for it, it’s like asking a client for money is so easy. Everything else becomes easy. And also, it’s like a woman pleasured is so magnetic. People just want to be around you because of that. And so there’s just so many other added benefits of doing this work.
Stacey: I love it. Alright, well if you want some sex coaching, reach out to Danielle. She is amazing. I know people who have worked with her and they are a very happy customer.
Danielle: Yes, they are.
Stacey: So how do they reach out to you? How do they find you?
Danielle: Well, I have a podcast called It’s My Pleasure, which is really fun and amazing and it’s more talking about the brain and the mind and the neuroscience and also fun cheeky stuff because I like to crack jokes. And my website is just daniellesavory.com.
Stacey: I love it. And we will link all of that up in the show notes. Thank you so much for coming on.
Danielle: Thank you. This is so fun.
Stacey: It was fun. I loved spending this hour with you. Alright, well I will see you later on. Have an amazing day.
Danielle: You too. Bye.
I hope you enjoyed that interview as much as we did recording it. As promised, if you want to stay tuned, I have included the story of what happens when you get invited to do an episode of a podcast. You’re welcome. Have a beautiful week. We’ll see you next time.
Stacey: How are you doing?
Danielle: I’m doing good. I was up – my youngest, Monroe, she had a fever all night last night.
Stacey: Oh no.
Danielle: Yeah. So then it was crazy because it prompted a bunch of anxiety dreams and so I had this dream like, I didn’t know where to meet you for the podcast and you’re like, you’re supposed to be dressed sexy, and then all these men that we were supposed to sit on a couch with had to interview you and I about sex. And I was like, you didn’t tell me this, Stacey, I was not prepared for this. I thought we were talking about money.
It was so awkward. And I kept pushing it back. I could just see your eyes like, you’re really late, Danielle. And I was like, I know, but I didn’t know. It was so crazy.
Stacey: That is so amazing.
Danielle: It was like, way worse than showing up to school naked kind of dreams.
Stacey: That’s so funny. I love that you had a look that I give.
Danielle: You were like – I was just like, I’m sorry. You didn’t tell me and I was like – and then everybody in my family was melting down and we were supposed to be at this condo apartment I had. It was just crazy.
Stacey: Oh my god. I used to have those kind of dreams when I served. I don’t know if you’ve ever served tables but like, the dreams where you’re like, the whole restaurant is your table and you can’t ever get caught up and everybody’s yelling at you and no matter what you do, it’s just the worst nightmare ever. And I used to do that when I worked doubles. That would be the dream before I went in the next day. It’s the worst.
Danielle: Yeah, it was basically like that.
Stacey: Well, I promise I’m not going to give you the look.
Danielle: And we’re not going to be like, getting scantily clad with young – they were young millennials and they kept calling us ma’ams and I was like, I can’t.
Stacey: Oh no, that’s the worst part of the dream.
Danielle: I know. It was horrible.
Stacey: When people call me ma’am, I’m like, don’t call me ma’am.
Danielle: I’m not there yet.
Stacey: I’m not there yet. I love it. Well, we’re going to have a good time.
Danielle: I’m so excited. I’m so excited.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.