We are heading into our first open enrollment for the 200K Mastermind in the first week of May, so over the next few weeks, I’m going to have a couple of my current 200K coaches on the podcast to get their insights on how they’ve achieved their goal of making 200K in their coaching business!
My guest this week is honestly so inspiring and incredible. Dorothy Johnson is a breakup and heartbreak coach, and it’s such a shame she wasn’t doing this work a few years ago because I know so many of us could have used her services at one time or another. She has created an amazingly successful business by staying committed to her niche, her people, and her goals, and that’s why we call her The Commitment Queen.
Tune in this week to discover what makes Dorothy and all my 200K students so special. We are sharing the mind drama that all coaches go through at one time or another around their niche and direction, believing they have to sell coaching to coaches to make money, and we’re discussing how Dorothy moved past all of that using the power of true commitment and what, if you do the same, could be waiting for you on the other side.
Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach™ podcast where sales expert and life coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Hey coaches. All through the month of April, we will be featuring 200K level concepts and interviews leading up to the 200K Mastermind open enrollment, May 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Now, you might be tempted to think, “This doesn’t apply to me yet…”
But I want to encourage you not to skip past these episodes. Often, learning more advanced concepts will make the foundational concepts seem even easier. It’s like running on a hill when you train so that the flat terrain becomes easier. So, don’t skip this.
And if you’re ready for the advanced selling level and you want to take your business to $200,000 over the next six to 12 months, you can join our mailing list to get all of the information on our upcoming enrollment as it rolls out. And you can apply for the 200K Mastermind on May 3rd, 4th, and 5th all by visiting www.staceyboehman.com/200k-mastermind. Enjoy this month’s episodes. Let’s dive into today’s lesson.
Stacey: Hello, coaches. I’m so excited to bring you a really special episode today. So, as some of you may know, we are heading into our first open enrollment for the 200K Mastermind for 2021. That is happening May, I think, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. I should know this by now. And I’m like, “Wait, what is it?” I’m pretty sure it’s the 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Let’s verify that really quick. Yes, the 3rd, 4th, and 5th.
And if you’re listening to this after the fact, you can always go to staceyboehman.com/200k-mastermind and find when the next open enrollment is. We always have it listed way in advance, months in advance, because we enroll four months in advance.
So, every time we enroll, I love to have my 200K students on who have made 200K and to have them talk about, in their words, what the journey was like and what it took to get to 200K, which is no small feat. We have normalized it so much in my group and in my audience because so many people are doing it, but it really is a very small percentage of coaches who get that.
Now, if you look at all of the coaches in the world, the small percentage is still a huge number. So, it’s readily available for everyone. I really love to normalize that, talk about it. And I always talk about what it takes from my perspective as a coach to get my students to 200K. But I just love hearing from my students in their words what it took.
So, for this specific enrollment period, for the next month throughout the month, not every week, I’m going to be featuring some really special 200K students, from my perspective. And here’s why I think they’re so special.
A lot of people think that in order to make 200K or to make a million or two million, they have a thought error that only business coaches can do this, that you can only make a lot of money if you’re selling coaching to coaches, if you’re selling a financial return, a business investment, that that’s the only way to make a lot of money as a life coach. And that is simply not true.
I’ve said over and over and over that in my own mastermind, at the million-dollar, multi-million-dollar level, I was the only person out of eight people, nine people who was selling business coaching or any coaching to coaches of any kind. I was the only one.
And the person making the most money was not a business coach. She was a weight coach. So, that has been disproven over and over. Yet what I see, especially at the 100K level – so I can’t wait to talk to my guest today about this – especially at the 100K level, what I see with my coaches if they’re maybe general life coaches or if they have specific niches, they get to the 100K level and then something subtle happens in their mind where they decide that they can’t make more money with the niche they have, with what they’re doing, and they switch to business coaching.
And it always is like a little piece of my soul dies when this happens because it’s always people who have amazing niches, who have really amazing work in the world that is much-needed that I’m so excited that I’m like, “This is a gamechanger. The world needs this. The world needs you. The world needs this very specific thing.”
I can see them carving. I got this from Russel Brunson, but he calls this the red ocean and the blue ocean. So, the red ocean is when you go into shark-infested waters where there’s lots of fish, but all of the sharks are there eating all of the fish. So, it’s full of blood. And that’s what doing something like business coaching can be.
And then, he talks about creating your blue ocean, where there are no other sharks and you are the only one and you find a group of fish that aren’t being eaten by all the sharks. And that’s what I think of when I see a beautiful, amazing, well thought-out niche. And I’m like, “you’ve made your blue ocean.” And then at right around 100K they’re like, “Nope, the only way to make more money is to go over to the red ocean where all the other sharks are and I’ve got to compete and I’ve got to do what they’re doing.” And it breaks my heart a little.
So, I am featuring, on the interviews I will be doing over the next month, my 200K students who have stuck with their work, their niche, and made lots of money doing it. Then they’re not business coaches. They’re not coaches who coach other coaches. They’re not coaches who offer a financial return. They’re doing their thing in their own special way and they’re making a lot of money doing it.
So, I want to introduce my very first guest Miss Dorothy Johnson. Introduce yourself, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Hello. I’m so excited to be here. How fun is this? I just have so many – I’ve been thinking about it this morning a lot about all the flashbacks that I had of all the times I would run into you and chat to you and it was first chatting about 2K. Actually, it was first chatting about certification and then 2K and then 200K. So fun.
Stacey: I don’t even remember all of that. I feel like we have to talk about it.
Dorothy: I will, I’ll talk to you about it. By my name is Dorothy. I am Breakup Coach Dorothy. I help people get over their ex in three months or less. And it’s so fire and so amazing and I’m absolutely so grateful that that is my niche. I have my Bravehearts, is what I call them. And they are the best tribe ever.
Stacey: I love this so much. Okay, so before we dive in, I told you this ahead of time, that my intro would be long and that I wanted to acknowledge you for three things and let those three things kind of guide our conversation. And I’m also super-excited to hear about – the one I don’t remember is the certification conversation, so I can’t wait to hear about that.
But here are the three things that I want to, off the bat, immediately acknowledge you for. I’ve already extensively acknowledged you on one, which is sticking with your niche. Which is so big. And I love that you have this whole name for your people, your Bravehearts. I think that is the sweetest thing ever. I actually want to hear more about your journey and how you decided on this niche, so I’m excited to hear about that.
But that is so huge in itself, just sticking with your work and making it happen. And the second thing I want to acknowledge you for, which is why I think it’s so special that you stuck with your niche, is you also went through it to hit your goals.
I remember you getting coached with Brooke. I remember coaching you on your 10K a month goal. I remember how much time and energy you put into figuring that out and not changing your goal and not deciding, “Oh, I didn’t make 10K this month so now next month’s got to be 20K, even though I haven’t figured out 10K, right? Or, I’m going to lessen my goal.”
You stuck with that goal and you made it happen. So, that’s the second thing I want to acknowledge you for and talk about today. And then the third thing is sticking with your program. So, this is going to be a theme. Dorothy is the master of sticking with things and I am so proud of you for that. And I think so many people need to learn these lessons. So, do you know what I’m talking about when I say sticking with your program?
Dorothy: Yes, I do, boo. I was so pumped to talk about it, so good.
Stacey: I love it. Perfect. So, those are the three things I want to talk about. We’ll give a little more detail as we go in. So, let’s just start with, I would love to know your story that inspired you to decide to make this your work in the world.
Dorothy: It was a no-brainer. It was a done deal as soon as I started. So, I personally went through a very traumatic breakup. So, I was dating this guy for about seven years. And I was 26 at the time when I went through the breakup. And it was one of those things where I totally thought I was going to get married to him. We met in undergrad. I went to grad school, he went to dental school, in Kentucky, by the way.
Stacey: I love it. Which school?
Dorothy: He went to Louisville and I went to EKU, Eastern Kentucky University, which is in Richmond.
Stacey: How did I not know that? Where do you live now?
Dorothy: I live in Florida now.
Stacey: Oh, I was like, I would have known if you lived closer to me. We would have already hung out. Okay, keep going.
Dorothy: So, anyhow, long story short, we moved back to Florida to live our life after he got done with dental school. I was so excited. I was like, finally, my life is taking off, we’re going to get married, we’re going to have babies, we’re going to do all the things. We got a house. And I was going back and forth to Chicago for a busines strip and he broke up with my on the phone while I was in Chicago a month after we moved into the house.
So then, I’m like super-stubborn at the time and I was like, I’m not going to go get my stuff immediately. I’m going to wait a month. But I moved into a new apartment with my suitcase. I fly back down to Florida a month later to get my stuff and he had piled all of my stuff in the front room and a new girl had been living there.
Dorothy: Yes. So, I was like not only going through the loss and the grief and the sadness…
Stacey: I just got chills. Oh my god.
Dorothy: Right, of losing my best friend, of losing the life that I thought I worked so hard for and built and just totally felt like it was ripped out of my hands and just given to this other person. But then I was also just seething with so much anger and so much resentment about this new girl that just took my spot.
So, I of course made it mean all of these crazy stories about myself about how I wasn’t worth it, he chose her over me. Clearly, he never loved me, all of that stuff. But I didn’t know I was creating those stories.
So, immediately following the breakup, I Googled, like, how do you get over your ex? How do you forgive and let go? And I did all of the things. Stacey, when I say I did them all, I did them all.
Stacey: I believe you, girl.
Dorothy: All of it, and none of it worked. A year later, I was still just angry and I saw it infiltrating. I was in a new relationship at that point but I saw old patterns repeating. I just saw myself constantly comparing to my ex. I was still looking at his social media and his new girlfriend’s social media. And it was just like, what is going on? And that’s when I ran into The Life Coach School Podcast. Clearly, obviously, most of us know. Then that changed everything, I found out that my thoughts created my feelings. And I was like, “Wait, I’ve been creating the anger and resentment and all of that.
And then, from that point on, I got over my ex in a moment, Stacey. And that’s when I realized time had nothing to do with getting over your ex. It had literally nothing to do. It was one mindset shift, one thought. Just like you talk about it, you’re one thought away from 2K. It’s like you’re one thought away from getting over your ex. And that’s when I knew my mission in this world is to make a fucking difference when it comes to healing heartbreak in a completely new way.
Stacey: Oh my gosh.
Dorothy: Right, so I signed up for life coach certification, got all the way in, was like, “I’m doing this.”
Stacey: This is so amazing. You know that I also had a massive heartbreak story. Mine was a little different than yours. What is it with the seven years? I also left a seven-year relationship, except I’m the one that left that person for this other person who I thought was, like, my soulmate. I’ve talked about it on the podcast before. Just totally crushed me and it felt so public and humiliating because he was in network marketing and I had gone in and spent an extensive amount of time with his team and with his uplines. And I wasn’t in the organization but I would go to all of their stuff and they would always me my opinion and ask me for coaching. And I had gotten so close with so many people.
And it was like really it was like living up in another state and formed an entire life there, and then found out it was all a lie and everyone knew but me. And I’m the life coach, that I’m supposed to know these things. And then, on top of that, I had the shame, like you said, of not being able to let go. Like, he had cheated on me and I was still finding myself trying to get him back.
And I did all the things too. I did all the things and I went through it while I was building my business. And so, I just love that that is your story. So, how many people have you helped since that moment? That’s a really exciting question.
Dorothy: Right, and it’s so funny that you ask that because I’ve been going through Facebook ads stuff and I’m about to do my first look alike audience of people who’ve paid me big money to work with me. So, I’ve helped 100 one on one clients. I’ve launched fur groups. We’re on launch five. Four groups with lots of people in them. And then my podcast has hit 500,000 downloads.
Stacey: I just got chills again. This is so – because I seriously think this is, like, women spend most of their – I feel like young women or unmarried women spend a large amount of their time, not maybe all of them, but I think a lot of them spend a large amount of their time, if they’re single, in heartbreak, getting over heartbreak, attaching to the wrong men, men who do not serve them.
So, I think it’s so needed in this world and I’m so glad that you stuck with it. Was there ever a moment where you had doubt? Or were you just sure the entire time?
Dorothy: Yeah, I was sure the whole time. I want to say in the very beginning, I remember dabbling with the idea of being a sex coach. And now I kind of giggle at that a little bit. But literally, the breakup coaching, 100% that’s what I’m doing.
And every single time I would get on the phone with someone or get on a call with someone and talk, it was just so easy for me to connect and so easy for me to drop into that person and what she was struggling with and where she wants to go.
Stacey: Did you ever have a thought that people wouldn’t pay for coaching on heartbreak?
Dorothy: I didn’t, and here’s why though. One of the biggest things that I realized and that matters more – very similar to what you talk about in becoming the person who has a launch where they fill it, when we talked about that, becoming the person who makes 10K per month. It’s very similar when you’re getting over your ex.
Getting over your ex is the primary goal. But what it’s really about is becoming the person who is over your ex. And what’s so impactful to me about that is that I remember coming out of that heartbreak and I remember so hardcore in my bones I was so determined and so committed to create a life that he regretted leaving. And to me, that was fucking worth so much money. I’m like, because if I can get to that point, then it won’t even matter to me whether or not he wants to be in my life because I’ll create a life that’s so much bigger and so much better than anything I ever imagined.
And then, it’s this big epic sundae and he’s just the cherry on top, or someone who wants to come join me is just the cherry on top. And if that cherry roles off the sundae, no big deal. And so, to me, why wouldn’t you pay money for that? If you could figure out how to do that and permanently change your life in that way, who on earth would you never pay money for that?
Stacey: Yes, 100%. I love that so much. I think about that a lot because I have created a pretty exponential life since that moment and Neil has gotten all the benefits of that. And so, it’s always interesting to think about because I dated him right – I only had two clients at the time I dated the guy who broke my heart.
And I remember, there was one time where we talked about – he owned a business too. We were making about the same amount. But I think he had a lot of inflated belief in himself. He didn’t have – you know when you believe you’re going to hit a goal but you have no drama about it, so it’s not really being presented to your brain in a real way? And I had a ton of drama, but I just knew, I’m going to make a million dollars before he does, 100%. And I’m pretty sure that he’s still in the exact same spot.
It’s interesting, because we have some mutual friends, to see that his life kind of froze and didn’t really change that much. Nothing in him changed. Nothing in his business changed. And then my life became so animated and so much bigger than it was. Not that it’s really a comparison. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that.
But it is something – my mom said this to me a couple of months ago and it just hit home and that’s why I’ve been thinking about it, is she said, for him or for my ex that I was with for seven years, she said, “If you had stayed with either of those people, I don’t think you would have been as successful as you are today. I really feel like Neil was the perfect person to allow you to become your most powerful person.”
And that really hit me because I thought about it and it was 100% true. Like, my ex-ex that I was with for seven years was so uncomfortable with money, with people, with success, with coaching, I mean, just so uncomfortable with all of that. And then my ex was just n that kind of – I don’t even know what you would call that. It was just lack of reality of what it takes to actually succeed. So, he was always in his brain like, “I’m about to make a million dollars,” but was never doing the work to actually create that and was living a really small life, wasn’t surrounding himself with people who are massively growing in a mature way, doing thought work.
Anyways, Neil was just this perfect person where he just slid in and was 100% comfortable with me in my highest power, never jealous about my business ever, ever, always encouraging me to be bigger and to get through all of my drama. It was just, he really was the person I needed to take this journey with to become who I am now. So, I’m so grateful. And when I think about people who are heartbroken and I think about your niche, I just think, of all of those women, if they let that emotional baggage go of being caught up on the ex, like how much exponential, as women, would their life be? That to me, I agree with you, is worth everything.
Dorothy: Exactly, 110% all in on that. And that to me is priceless. And that’s what everyone talks about. When it comes to the Bravehearts that come through the program, that’s what they talk about was everything they’ve gotten was priceless. Because it’s your life. How can you put a price on it?
Stacey: Yes, so I want everyone listening to really hear that. These are the thoughts that you have to think about your niche, no matter what it is. If you want to make a lot of money, you have to deeply be ingrained in your whole mind, body, soul, the value of your offer. You have to know deeply the impact it will have on your clients. You have to know the ripple effects it will take. You have to know the life experience it will alter for them, the entire value of getting the result that you offer. That’s when selling your offer becomes super-easy. Okay, so tell everyone how much money you have made in the last 12 months.
Dorothy: Yes, I have made, in the last 12 months – what month is it now? It’s March. So, I’ve definitely made over $200,000. Between January and annuary of last year it was at $200,000. But now that it’s almost the end of March, definitely over $200,000 in the last 12 months.
Stacey: Oh my gosh, how much money are you going to make this year?
Dorothy: $300,000, boo.
Stacey: I love that so much. So fun. Okay, so let’s talk about sticking with your goal. I’ve seen you work so hard on this, where I remember you getting coaching from Brooke on it…
Dorothy: I cried.
Stacey: This is what was so funny, is I think you were the person that – for people who are not at the Life Coach School, if you’re an LCS certified coach, they do a monthly call where any certified coach, once you’ve been certified, you can join this monthly call. And they do like zero to 50K, I think. And then it’s, what, 100K to 300K or something like that? There’s tiers. I’m not 100% sure what the tiers are.
But you’re on this call, and I’m pretty sure it was you. Or I remember you getting coaching on the 10K a month and you were like, something about what Stacey says, blah, blah, blah. You were getting coaching on coaching you had gotten from me from Brooke, which I thought was hysterical.
I think I was like, “Oh, this is so funny.” Because I used to get people who needed coaching about Brooke from me. It’s reversed itself. But I remember her saying the exact same thing I had said and I was like, “See, it was the right thing. It was the truth…”
Dorothy: I thought it was perfect…
Stacey: Yes, but I remember you just like – the thought I had when I was listening in replay was, this girl is working so hard to unwind this in her mind. It’s a ball of wire. It’s chaos right now. But she is working so hard to unwind that. So, will you talk a little bit about that journey to make 10K and repeat that every month? Because I know that was your goal.
Dorothy: Yeah, and I just – what really happened in that journey – and it was a journey. Let’s just say it was a journey…
Stacey: It was a while. I don’t know how long, but it was several months. It wasn’t like this one month. I want to say three to six months. I don’t even know.
Dorothy: Well, it was three to six months. And then I did that and it became so organic. But then I saw it come up again when I started launching. And we talking about it again when I started launching groups. But it’s really allowed me to become someone who – I now identify as the commitment queen. I’m like, I’m Stacey’s commitment queen. I know exactly how to commit to something. I know what it feels like. I know what it is. Because that was the biggest thing when I was talking to Brooke in that coaching call. I was constantly saying, “Yeah, but Brooke, I just don’t get the commitment part. You guys keep telling me to commit, but I feel like I have and it’s not happening though.”
Stacey: That’s what everybody tells me, by the way. So, can you walk people through that? What’s the difference, when you thought you were committing, and then what bridged that gap? What was the in-between there of actually committing and creating the result? What were you missing? What were you misunderstanding? What was happening in the difference of those two things?
Dorothy: Such a great question. The main primary thing that I think about is that I was committing to 10K a month before. And what I really needed to commit to was becoming the person who makes 10K a month. There’s a difference between, like, if you’re thinking about it and you’re saying, “I’m committing to making this 10K in whatever timeframe.” You’re forgetting the background of the why.
I think a lot of times, people will forget the why behind why they’re doing that versus just right now even I think about I’m committing to becoming the person who has a 75K launch. And when I think about that, I can either commit to the 75K launch, or I can commit to becoming the woman who has a 75K launch, which is so much more inspiring to me and so much more grounded and in my truth, just because if I could do that, that’s the person who then can replicate it over and over and over again. And that’s more fun. That’s when the process becomes fun because you’re like – I think it was Vicky that mentioned this and we’ve been talking about it a lot in 200K where it’s like being attached versus committed. Yeah.
Stacey: Attached is like, what are you going to do for me? And commitment is what am I going to do for you? The goal, the person, yeah.
Dorothy: And so, when I figured out how to be committed, “Oh, I’m committed to making the 10K in a month, that really meant to me like what does that version of myself look like? What kind of impact does a coach making 10K per month make in the world? And then, that became more fun to look at versus being like, “I don’t have the 10K, I need to sign the client, I don’t have the 10K, I need to sign a client.”
Stacey: yes, they feel completely different in your body, right?
Dorothy: Yeah, it’s more grounded and so calm. Literally, Stacey, it’s kind of funny that we’re talking about it. I’m going through a launch right now and I just got coaching last week about, like, a fear of being too calm.
Stacey: That’s fantastic.
Dorothy: But yeah, committed to me feels way more calm when before I was thinking committed, it was this spinning energy and I thought I was feeling committed. But I think what that energy was, was graspy.
Stacey: Yeah, well I think if you’re not really committed – I love that you said grounded because that’s the way I experience it too. And what that looks like for me, I think, is always fun to challenge, grounded even when. I’m going to feel this way, even when… So, grounded, even when the applications don’t come in, if you’re doing a launch. Or grounded even when you’re not getting the engagement. Grounded even when it’s the 28th day of the month and you don’t have a consult yet. Grounded even when you’ve made three attempts in a row to make 10K a month and didn’t achieve it. It’s grounded.
This is the best example when I tried the first tie to scale to a million dollars. Almost that entire year, I was not grounded. I was so ungrounded, I mean, I wasn’t sleeping at night. It literally felt like I had left the ground, was in the clouds in the sky, not in a good way, in the scary, like, how am I going to come down?
Dorothy: Like in a tornado…
Stacey: Yes, that’s how it felt. I remember walking my dog and just the drama would be spinning in my head all day long. And then, I remember the switch of being really, like switching into this calmer energy of I’m in this for the long run. Who do I want to be? How do I want to feel? Who do I want to approach this? What am I going to create?
And I asked myself the question at the beginning of my $2.5 million year, what if I never looked at my Stripe account – that’s my payment processor – or my PayPal account, what if I never looked at them and I only did things I wanted to do because I wanted to do them, because of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to create in this world? What if I did that?
And that brought be back down to earth in such a powerful way. So, for me, committed is I’m going to feel grounded even when I haven’t achieved my goal, no matter what’s happening with clients, potential clients, the world. I’m going to feel sure of myself and my ability to create this result and I think that behind that, what allows you to feel sure of your ability to create that result is your commitment to never giving up on it.
Dorothy: 100% I’m so glad you said that because it literally reminds me – because everything took off for me last March. And so, that was when I hit my first 10K month. And it was really the mindset of – I came back to this idea of, like, I’m literally going to be doing heartbreak coaching for the rest of my life. I’m literally going to be helping people get over their ex in three months or less for the rest of my life. And I’m so down for that and I’m going to do whatever it takes to do that. So, the money doesn’t matter. For me, I just got to that point where I said, “I’m going to do whatever I need to do to be able to coach for forever.”
Stacey: Yes, and I felt that way even making my first dollars. I remember having no clients and no money and thinking that. I’m willing to go through this failure. I’m willing to keep trying at this for as long as I have to because I’m never going to not want to be a coach. I really want this no matter how long it takes. I’m willing to go five years. There’s never a time period where I’m going to say this didn’t work out for me or it’s not going to work out for me or I can’t keep trying. I had just decided, I’m always going to want to do this. It’s just who I am.
And when you become in your mind, like, a coach is just who I am, it’s what I have to do, I’ll never be anybody other than a coach, that’s when the clients start coming.
Dorothy: Yes, and Stacey, that reminds me, I don’t think I ever told you this. I signed up for 2K for 2K forever ago and I remember, I still had another corporate job. And instead of introducing people, like instead of saying, “Hey, my name is Dorothy.” And they’d be like, “What do you do?” Instead of saying my corporate job, I remember listening to you and I was like, “I’m going to start introducing myself as a breakup coach.” Which back then – it’s still fairly new and different now, but back then it was very different and new. And I remember, after I said it three times to three strangers and explained what I did, I was like, “I am a breakup coach…”
Stacey: That is the power of meet people, tell them you’re a coach, and make offers to help them, right? I think a lot of people think every single person I meet I must tell them who I am and make an offer to them. And that’s not what I’m ever saying. I’m saying meet as many people as possible so that you have more opportunities to tell people who you are. If you meet 100 people, five of them, 10 of them might ask you who you are. Probably more than that, but I include everyone, right, the Uber driver, the Target checkout lady, the Starbucks lady.
I remember telling this woman at a coffee shop in Michigan. She was like, “Oh, why are you here?” And I was like, “Well, I’m a pitch artist and I’m doing this promotion at this store. But I’m also a life coach, so I’m here networking with people and meeting with people.” And she’s like, “A life coach. What’s that?” And we had this whole discussion. She was like, “I could probably use that for my team.” And I took her card and I think I even sent her a message. I don’t think it ever went anywhere. But it was like this power of me having this 10-minute conversation.
I remember leaving the coffee shop and really having that exact thought of, “I am a life coach. People are interested in this.” It may not be her. But this is just proof. She’s my proof of concept that people are interested. And the more I started telling people about what I do, the more people started asking, “Well how can I connect with you? Do you want to give me your information or can I jump on a call with you? I’d love to hear more.” Or I would be able to tell them, “Listen, I can help you with that.”
It was just this natural conversation that kept happening and the whole goal is that you start carrying yourself in all of your being that your predominant identity, not the one that requires effort, you’ve created the identity that is natural that you just are a life coach. And I think that that is what takes you to every single level of your business.
Dorothy: It does because that’s who I was then, and then I started working on 200K Dorothy. That’s when I was like, “Oh, what does 200K Dorothy do? How does she show up?” And now I’m on million-dollar Dorothy and it’s like the same journey.
Stacey: So, million-dollar Dorothy, what is the difference between where you are now and where you will be then?
Dorothy: She’s so calm. Kind of like what we were just talking about of being committed even when. But not only just being committed; being calm about it too. Not going into the internal mind chatter and the drama. But that’s the main difference is she’s so calm. She’s so collected. She really had her stuff together. And also, I’m getting – I feel like I’m in the midst of this process, so I feel like I’m talking to you while in the middle of it. But it’s so good because one of the things I’m starting to really decide and commit to, Stacey, is just how awesome of a coach I actually am.
I’m really good at what I do and that’s finally sinking in. And when I think of million-dollar Dorothy, she’s fire. She’s like boss. She’s absolutely, you are the best in the industry. You’re doing everything you need to do and you’re killing it and you’re crushing it and you’re calm AF doing all of it.
Stacey: I love that so much. So give me an example of what is – when you say, “I want to be collected…” can you give a specific example of what doesn’t feel like collected or a result that’s happening in your business that doesn’t feel collected versus what you imagine it will be?
Dorothy: Yeah, so launching is a really great example. So, my last launch, I reacted to my circumstances fairly quickly…
Stacey: Give me some examples of that. What would be some circumstances you reacted to?
Dorothy: Perfect example. So, I had a five-day training. No one bought after the five-day training. I spent an entire five days with all of these people. It was my new pricing. No one purchased the program at the five-day training. So then, I had a week left of launch and I was supposed to fill it with 25 people. And at the time, I think I had four or five. Well, I’ll just tell you what I did do. What I did do is I went in and I made those circumstances mean all these crazy things about me, like I’m not a very good coach. I also made it mean things about my Bravehearts that I’m super-embarrassed to admit. But I got super-angry and bitter and annoyed at them for not just knowing that they need to buy…
Stacey: First of all, can I we just stop and say, I’m so glad you said that because that is so normal, feeling angry, bitter, resentful. Like, so normal. It’s part of the human thing that we do. We attach these outside results to thoughts about ourselves and make them mean things about ourselves. And then, when we’re looking for our sufficiency and our fulfilment outside from other people and how they react, of course we get angry and bitter and resentful. But that is part of the human experience and we never talk about that in the coaching industry.
It’s like, there so much hush-hush about it. Everyone wants to be like, “Oh, I have this perfectly managed mind and I’m totally unattached to the sales and I’m never experiencing this.” And the reality is, if you scroll through 2K, you’re going to get, I feel like, one of two posts. You’re going to get the celebration post or the angry bitter resentful post. So, it’s like, that’s so normal. But I love that we’re here to talk about it. I love to normalize that because I think that the more normal we make it, the more people will be willing to look at it. And the more they look at it, the more they’re going to be able to transcend and move past it. So, I love that you said that.
Dorothy: Exactly. Yeah, so the difference between that version and million-dollar Dorothy though is she’ll see it, she’ll recognize it if it comes up. But also, I’m not sure – I’m assuming it will come up. It’s the 50-50 of life…
Stacey: It will definitely come up.
Dorothy: But at the same time, she just handles it very differently.
Stacey: Yeah, I will say 100% you’re spot on from where I am. We’ve done over $7 million in the last 12 months. But from where we are when we do launches, it’s so much more about the data than the drama. I think in the beginning, when you’re launching, it’s so much drama. And it has to be. You have to go through that.
I was just talking to Maggie about that. You have to go through the drama. This is just the initiation of launching. Your first 10 will be a little cray-cray. And then, they will get calmer and calmer and calmer. And what will happen is you will stop making it about you and then you start making it about them and not in an angry resentful way. In more of a data way. So, we look at the numbers and we look at, like, what did we expect? Is it happening? Is it not happening? If not, why do we think that is?
And we break every single part of our plan down. What might we have missed? What do we need to enhance or improve? What might we want to add?
And so, I always have everything – and we teach this in 200K, you know. And we have a launching program. But I have you go through and create your launch plan, right, and do it ahead of time, create everything so that the actual time that you’re in the launch, instead of writing sales emails as you go, you’re able to spend all that time thinking about what additional emails need to be written, what haven’t I said, what is it clear that they’re telling me? What else might I want to do? Might I want to jump on a live? What else can I do to connect my people?
It becomes more about, I feel like, putting a puzzle together and solving that puzzle. Which becomes intriguing and interesting. And you know, of course there’s always going to be that fear of it not happening. Sometimes, for me, the fear is always I’m going to publicly fail, when there’s a lot of people watching. That one doesn’t show up as much anymore. But there’s little things that are there. But for the most part, we just get in with our team and we’re just like, what’s happening? It just feels like the result is so much more in our control and fixable and we know how to fix it.
Dorothy: That was the other thing I wanted to make sure I talked about too, is the first round of 200K that I was in, the biggest thing that you showed me was that creating the 20 clients was in my control. I remember, my thought process going into that launch was so simple, but so profound.
I remember, on a call, you were like, “What are you thinking going into the launch?” And I’m like literally that it’s in my control. I control how many people are in my group. And it was so crazy.
Stacey: How did you make that happen for yourself, that belief of I control? Because so many people struggle with that. They’re like, “I can’t control people saying yes.” I was just coaching someone in 2K today on that. The way she had written her post was, “I’m doing all the things but they’re not telling me their objections on the call. Therefore, I can’t overcome them even if I wanted to because they’re not telling me.”
I had told her, “Listen, I want you to think about how you phrased that.” It’s like, even them telling you their objection feels like it’s up to them. And I want you to decide how you control that. How do you have power over your clients offering up their real objections on the consult?
Dorothy: Yeah, so it really hit me because I thought about my Bravehearts, who are going back into the world dating. And actually, even the Bravehearts who are just completely heartbroken and feel like they’ll never have deep connection again. When in reality, they created the deep connection in the first place with another human being.
And so, kind of similarly, how we feel like, “Oh well getting married and having babies and building this family is outside of my control because I need another human to consent and want to be with me and do all the things.” It’s the same thing with your clients where you have control over how you show up and what you attract. And so, it was the same kind of – I had this parallel moment of, “Oh, I coach my clients on this with finding a husband or thinking that they’ll have deep connection again or creating babies.
It’s the same thing with my clients is I am the person who gets to determine how I show up. And I literally could choose to not start the group until there are 20 people in it. That’s something that I could choose. So, therefore I’m always going to be in control over how many people are in that group.
So, to me that was just very profound in that way. And another parallel that I thought about as I was talking about that is, I have this weird underlying, like – I shouldn’t even say it’s weird. I believe wholeheartedly 100%, when we talk about having-done energy, I will have a baby girl and her name is going to be Marylin Pearl. And it feels so done to me and I have no drama about it.
So, one of the things that I’ve spent a lot of time looking at are, what are my thoughts about myself when it comes to having my baby? What are my thoughts about the how, like the methods of having a baby? And what are my thoughts about my baby, Marylin? And how can I apply that to my business?
Because those thoughts are just so done and I have like no evidence. I don’t have a husband. I’ve never checked my fertility. I have no idea. But when I think about those thoughts, I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m going to be a mom. No biggie.” Like, absolutely mom is in my future. I’m having a child. It’s going to be great. All these things.
When I think about the how, I give zero fucks about the how. I am like, I’m not above any of the how. I’ll have a baby. I’ll have a surrogate. I can adopt. I literally have no…
Stacey: Can we stop for a minute and talk about that statement, “I’m not above the how.” What? That’s so good because I do think that goes back to entitlement, right? A lot of us feel very entitled to the how being exactly the way that we thought it, with a certain amount of effort and a certain amount of fails or no fails at all.
I love thinking about even now for me, that is a thought I often have, is I am not above any of the work. We will do it all. People think, “Oh my god, I’m watching you sell and you’re just this queen of selling.” People comment that often or tell me that, send me messages. And it’s really like, what they’re seeing is a reflection of every launch, me getting in there and not being above figuring it out.
I don’t carry a thought that I don’t have to work hard, I’m just Stacey Boehman and people just buy from me. I have a thought that people throw money at me and they love to buy from me and I make lots of money. I have lots of thoughts like that. But I’m not above not figuring out what I haven’t said or what I have said that has created the result of someone not buying.
I think about my people all day. I have literally endless lists of creative ways to engage people. I was just telling Lindsay Dotzlaf, we went on my bachelorette and I was telling her on the flight home, the reason why I love selling is I think about it as this creative expression. I get to get creative and I get to think of 100 ways to wrap up what I offer into this really fun package and present it to someone and engage them in that offer. And I love getting creative with that. I love thinking about all the different ways I could do a webinar to entice someone to join 2K, or all the different ways I can market 200K.
I love getting creative with that and there is this sense of, like, I don’t have just any form of entitlement with that. Like, I don’t go into any launch thinking it’s going to be a cake walk. I don’t go into anything I sell and believe that the result is going to come with a specific plan that I created, it’s just going to happen.
I know there’s going to be adjustments, there’s going to be work, there is going to have to be redirects that we make. I go into it knowing it will be work and it will require focus and attention and patience and trial and error, all of the things. I think that’s so important.
Dorothy: And I’m glad that you said that too because I think one of the things that I thought of going into my last launch that didn’t go as well is I was like, I need to keep it simple. I was telling myself I need to keep it simple and it should just happen and it was totally that entitlement piece. And that’s also where I was when I was working through the commitment with the 10K was just like, I remember the call with Brooke and I had 10 consults this week and they all said no.
And it’s so funny now because at the end of that year I think I had like 400 consults and it was a lot more noes and it wasn’t that big of a deal. But I love that you said that too. And another thing that I wanted to mention, when it came to the thoughts about Marylin, my baby that I don’t have yet…
Stacey: I’m with you on this. Listen, I order baby clothes all the time and Neil is like, “What’s happening with you? Stop, right now.” And I’m like, “What? They’re cute. We’re going to have a baby soon. I want to just keep them.” I have a baby chest. All of my friends think it’s very weird and I’m like, whatever, doing my thing.
Dorothy: Well, and so when I think about my thoughts about her, I’m like, she’s perfect. Love her. She’s amazing, could do no wrong. And that really helps me in the moments where I tend to slide into anger and bitterness and frustration and resentment, being like this person is so perfect though, they’re exactly where they need to be. They’re having the exact experience they’re supposed to have right now. and it helps me kind of show up as, like, how would I want someone to treat my child Marylin, and I show up and treat that person in that way and it feels so authentic and organic. And it’s so beautiful, I love it.
Stacey: I love that. I also love that you said, this was just a small moment, but you said, “I can choose to extend that launch.” When you are in your power, I think that is so key. When you think it’s outside of you, you don’t have a lot of choices to continue to create that result that you want if it’s not going the way that you thought.
When you’re in your power, you can make a list of all of the choices that you have available to you. And I recently did that with my wedding. I was like, okay, this is not happening the way I want. This is not happening the way we planned. It feels like I don’t have a choice because I’m not getting it the exact way that I planned in my mind that I wanted it. But I was like, okay, let’s just get real for a second.
I love telling this to myself. I’m going to come up with a list of choices. You don’t have to choose any of them. It’s not a commitment list. It’s a choice list. It’s just what’s on the table. And I came up with like six different options. And there were some of them that I read them to Neil and it’s like, it’s a no. And some of them were things that I was actually open to.
And I was like, okay, I have a choice as well to just go with what my fiancé also wants. And so, we eliminated some of them and it was just so helpful to see all of the different options and know that I could choose any of them or none of them, but to see that they were there is so powerful when you’re in a launch or when you’re selling anything. The same thing of knowing that you have choice to change the outcome and presenting that list to yourself to see what all of your options are, so huge.
Dorothy: I love that you said that too because I prefaced this most recent launch. Two main things are happening. Going into it as if I was the director of Burning Man, the festival Burning Man. The director of Burning Man is not concerned about people showing up. They are concerned about creating this epic most amazing creative and fun event that everyone takes something from.
And I love that because when I did that, it was very similar to what you just described, of like, what are all the amazing events that I could host that would relate to people and how could I tell a story with the entire thing? And it became like this elaborate fun creative story that I got to be a part of and to create for my Bravehearts. And that was so much more fun.
And then, the second piece to that too was when I felt like I had choices, it made the decision-making process much easier. And one of the things I also promised myself going into this most recent launch is I am becoming a decision-making queen. I feel like commitment queen was accomplished. But the decision, being so solid and content in my decisions, so huge. And just going inside and learning and figuring out and asking myself and making the decisions from me versus going outside, which kind of is funny too because I’ve had a lot of past things with you where I would be like, “No, Stacey, you just told someone else to do this and I already made a decision to do exactly what you said not to do…”
Stacey: Oh, you do that. You take somebody else’s coaching and you’re like, “Wait, but that means this about me.” You turn it into coaching for you in not a good way. I’m always like, “Apply the coaching to you…” but you always do it in a way that doesn’t serve you at all. I’m like, “Stay in your lane, Dorothy. Don’t do that.
Dorothy: Yeah, you’re literally like, “Okay, so your goal from now on is to never make anything I say a problem…”
Stacey: Yes, I did say that recently. I love that so much. Okay, so let’s shift gears and talk about this last piece that I wanted to acknowledge you for, which is sticking with your program. So, this was my experience of it. And then I want to hear yours. For everybody listening, when we do the 200K launch, we do what is now lovingly referred to as the Hunger Games call. I don’t know if we’ll always do that. I actually haven’t decided if we’re going to do it for this launch. We may do it one more time.
But we have everybody that’s applied come on the call – and we get hundreds of applications. And I will call people at random and bring them on camera and talk to them a little bit about – what I’m looking for is kind of like poking holes in any thoughts that might not be helpful that they might be coming into the mastermind that aren’t super-helpful, or if they’re in lots of programs already. I just kind of see where they are. And my goal is it’s the opposite of like, I’m not selling everyone on 200K. I’m almost selling them out of it to get the best fits, right?
And I remember you coming on. And you were, at the time, in entrepreneur track. And the way that you were talking about it was entrepreneur track wasn’t a fit for you or it wasn’t working for you. And you were saying it in a way where you were like, I just know 200K is going to be the right fit. I don’t remember exactly what you said, but basically this is what I need.
And I never, never let people buy from that place. Because whether it’s 2K, they’ll come to me and be like, “Well this last program was so horrible.” I never indulge in that. I never use that as a time to say, “Oh yes, well my program doesn’t do that and my program does this.” I never sell against someone else’s program. Because if you have that thought, the result you’re going to create in my program is the exact same.
So, I coached you really hard in front of everyone. It was like, I don’t think you should join 200K. And I told you, I think you need to be the absolute – you need to become the best student of entrepreneur track that has ever gone through the doors. You need to be their testimonial of the experience of entrepreneur track. And when you learn that lesson, then you come join 200K and you’re going to have such a different experience.
And it wasn’t like, you know, everybody approaches – I want to just clarify before I have you jump in here, that it’s not that you can’t do more than one program. There was a time where I was in master coach training. I was in the 100K group with LCS. And I was in the million-dollar mentoring. I was doing three things all at the same time. And I think at the same time, I was also coaching with a couple of people on very specific things I my business as part of master coach training.
And they were all, like, all of the programs were all-in, require 100% of your commitment. I was definitely working my ass off. And at the time, my thought was very supportive of that experience. I knew I needed to clean some things up in my business. I was willing to work hard. I was willing to work harder than everybody else individually in those programs. I was not in entitlement at all and I wasn’t in, like, lack or these are going to create the results for me. It was like, I just need these things and I’m going to go to work, right?
So, it has nothing to do with how many programs you do at the same time. But it has everything to do with the mindset. And I knew that you were in a mindset that was believing that your program was creating the results. And you know, 2K people get stuck in this 200K people get stuck in this. Everybody gets stuck in this at some point. Yes, people get stuck in this, like I’m going to go to LCS – I thought for sure when I got certified with LCS, clients would just appear. Like, I have the certification, Clients are going to appear. I was very confused when they did not.
So, you were in that space and I told you to go to work. And then you did. You went to work. You became the best entrepreneur student. You got the most amazing results and then you reapplied and you were like, “Listen, I took that. It worked. I did it and I’m back. So, can you talk a little bit about that experience?
Dorothy: Yes, because it was right, like, it was exactly what I needed at the right time because I was right at the cusp of where it was getting really hard, in quotes. I’m making quotes. Because it was right when we just started diving into Facebook ads and I’m starting to dabble in the Facebook ads. I’m doing it, I’m doing it, I’m doing it, and finally I started booking consults.
But those consults were people that weren’t the types of individuals that I was trying to attract. I was struggling with figuring out, is it my verbiage, is it all of those different things? And then I was like, you know what? Facebook ads, I probably should set those down and I’ll go and do what Stacey is talking about over here with organic marketing.
And so, that’s when I came to you. You totally read through me, solved all of that. But I went back to the entrepreneur track. I didn’t do 200K that tie. I went into the entrepreneur track and that’s when I got coached really hard by you, by Brooke, by anybody who would coach me. I was coached really hard in that program.
And I am so proud of myself for doing that and I’m so grateful to myself for that experience because now I love Facebook ads. I think they’re great. They’re so fun. And a lot of the thought processes that I have with Facebook ads now, I can go ahead and apply to the things I’m learning in 200K that seem just as hard as Facebook ads did at one given time.
Stacey: 100%. It doesn’t even matter what it is. There are people that master organic marketing. And what you’re struggling with in 200K that we teach – and it’s not just organic marketing. I’m sure you’re referring to other things. But it’s like, I think about some of my $2 million group students who I’m telling, “Now it’s time for you to go into Facebook ads,” and they’re going to have all of the drama. It’s like, whatever new thing that you’re learning, whether it’s sales, whether it’s consults, like whatever it is, you’re going to have that experience and you have to learn how to use your brain to get through that and to learn it and to figure it out so that you have the self-concept from there on out that you can figure out anything.
And it doesn’t matter what it is. You will be a beginner. You will go through it. You will fail. And then you will figure it out. You want to carry that with you everywhere. And I think that that is so important when it comes to programs. It’s why I will not sell my program against other people’s. It’s why I will never say my program is the solution to other people’s, you know, all of the bad programs they’ve been in, well mine’s different and mine’s the real deal. I will never sell that way because it fuels the thought that the program is what creates the results.
How your coached, how often you’re coached, how many people are in your program, going through it with you, what you’re learning, what you’re not learning, the accountability you get, the lack of accountability you get. None of those things create your results.
Dorothy: I’m so glad that you’re saying that because I’ve used intentional thought creation from the 200K Mastermind so much in doing that because as I came in, I was coming away from one on one into group and I had all the mind drama about what was going to be the best program in terms of my personal program for other people. And I’ve done so much intentional thought creation around oh yes, the components of the program isn’t going to be what gets them the result.
Stacey: Yes, that’s so good. That’s another thing is when you believe that your coaching as the student, when you believe that the coach or the format or the size of the group, whatever it is that you believe is, “The reason I’m not getting a result is because of this,” this way of the program or this that they’re teaching, or this that they’re not teaching. When you think that’s what’s creating your results or helping you create your results, it’s part of your results. It’s like, “I know I own some of my results, but also, this is what should be happening.”
When you think that, it makes you – and I see this with a lot of coaches, especially when it comes to group size. I see that a lot with people who are going from one on one to group. And they’re like, “No, but it has to be small and everyone has to get individual coaching for them to succeed. They’re not getting the same value if I’m not coaching them every single call. If they don’t get personal one on one coaching, they’re not getting the same value, as if they did. So, in order for me to give them the highest amount of value, I have to be coaching them, answering all of their questions. And when you believe that, it not only stifles your growth as the coach and the business owner, but it stifles your students’ growth because then they also believe that they can’t get results unless they get coached by you every single time, unless you answer every single one of their questions, unless you are reviewing their work and giving them feedback.
It pigeon-holes everybody into time and effort is what creates results, which is the same thing as the breakup, right? Time and effort and energy, or another person, is not what solves the breakup and the heartbreak. It’s the thought.
And so, when you are beholden to those circumstances, you never get to test the true ability of your mind and the thoughts to create your results. And your clients never get to test that. That’s the part that’s so crazy. And it’s just not even true. When I look at 200K, our group has grown exponentially. And in 2K. I remember when there were 100 people in 2K. And now there’s almost 3000. And now that there are less people who are getting less, quote unquote, one on one attention, how is it that more people are getting results and bigger results?
Dorothy: That’s literally one of the things that I wrote down for today’s call that I wanted to talk about that I totally forgot. But that’s one of the beliefs too that I just think is then super-monumental for me is like the bigger the group, the bigger and better and faster results my clients get.
Stacey: And then your work, we talk about intentional thought creation, your work is to figure out why that’s true, to come up with every reason why that’s true, which has been my experience. I’ve been working with intentional thought creation since I created 2K for 2K. That was my process for even getting onboard with 2K. And I have proven that to myself over and over and over. And now I know it so deeply that when my clients are like, “Oh but I can never have more than eight or 10 or 20 people in my group,” I’m like, what I happening?
The only thing that’s happened is you’ve exercised one set of beliefs in your brain and you’ve proven that and found reasons to support that over and over and over. Now you have to go and do intentional thought creation and explore a different area of your brain and a different thought. You have to explore the idea that people will get more results.
Seriously, at the $7 million level, I crave – I’m literally creating the room I dream of. I want to be in a room with 100, with 200 millionaires. I want that so bad because I recognize the value of that. I recognize being in the energy of that container and that space. And it isn’t available right now, at least that I have found in the world. So, I’m going to go create it, but only because I’ve exercised my brain in that possibility and seen that to be true and then gone and created that for my clients. I think that’s so huge.
Dorothy: I love it. So good.
Stacey: Thank you so much for just being such an example of what’s possible with all three of those things. You can literally stay with your niche. You can commit to your goal. You can commit to the program that you’re in. And you can become this person that you are the commitment queen. You are the person that, no matter what it is, you will always get what you want because you are the person that creates it through your commitment and through your decisions. I love that too.
Dorothy: It makes me want to cry. Stacey. Recently, before going through this launch, I looked up a letter that I wrote my ex two months after he broke up with me. I wrote him an email and I read it. And it was like baby breakup coach Dorothy was being birthed. Number one, she was full of anger and resentment. She was totally blaming it all on him…
Stacey: Like, that’s the first stage when you’re out of your power and you’re out of commitment is you’re full of hate and resentment.
Dorothy: But the very last sentence was, “I’m going to go out and build a life bigger and better than the one I ever had with you so no one can ever take it away from me.” And to me, it gives me chills and shivers to think about that because that is what we are doing is we’re helping people learn how to go out and create everything they want. And no circumstance will ever stand between them and what they desire.
Stacey: Okay, we seriously have to pause for that. Everyone hear that. When you approach life, just life this way, with commitment and you learn how to be the person who gets what you want no matter what the circumstance is, when you become that person, what you have is a life that can never be taken away from you.
I don’t have any fear that the money will ever be gone. I have no fear about my relationship. I have no fear about my inner peace and my happiness. I’m so much more willing to fail because I’m like, nothing could ever take that away. I own it. That is such a beautiful lesson.
Dorothy: It hits my heartstrings.
Stacey: It should. That’s a really powerful lesson. We’re building lives. We’re building businesses that no one can ever take away from you. I love that so much. Okay, since you did notes, that’s everything I wanted to talk about on your 200K journey. Is there anything that you took notes on – Maggie did this as well. You guys are just star students. You made a list of, “I want to make sure I mention this.” Is there anything we haven’t covered?
Dorothy: I guess there’s two things on my list. The first one – and I don’t really know how this plays in. But the journey of making 200K, one of the biggest things that I think has been so monumental for me – and I’m going to try not to get emotional, Stacey. I’m like, don’t cry…
Stacey: It’s okay, you can cry. I’m here for it.
Dorothy: My personal life, I’ve worked with you for almost a year now at this point. And my personal life, I’m literally living everything I’ve ever wanted to live. And that’s just so cool. Not only is that so cool, but it’s just something that I truly can now see is 100% in my control and it’s just a byproduct of the journey of becoming the person who holds 200K, if that makes sense. And so, just being able to have my personal life so fulfilled and so perfect and all of that makes the business so much easier and so much more fun and makes everything flow so much better. And I don’t really know what else to say about that, but that was something I was like, I feel like I should note.
Stacey: I would say, to me, that statement represents not being in hustle and urgency. Your personal life slips when you’re in hustle and urgency and you overwork and you overthink about your business. And you overanalyze and you over – I don’t know what the word I’m thinking of is, but when you’re constantly berating yourself and talking negative to yourself. When you’re like – all of those things come from hustle and urgency, which comes from not being in commitment. When you’re not in commitment, you’re like, “I’ve got to get to this result very quickly,” everything is very urgent because I’m afraid I’m not going to get there if I don’t get it done quickly.
Dorothy: Yes, and secondly to that is just the whole process of learning how to make decisions for me has been an involving process in the last year and I’ve made so many – kind of like when you talk about decide and implement. I didn’t just do that in my business. I started doing that in my personal life, like deciding I don’t want to be in a relationship and then implementing that, deciding I want to be in Florida and then implementing that. And it was like learning to become that person in my business also played an impact in my personal life.
Stacey: Yes, 100%. I love that. Okay, what was the other thing?
Dorothy: The other thing was objections. I know this is very tangible and tactical…
Stacey: Oh, they’re going to love it. All the tangible and tactical things, they’re like, “Give me all of those. Enough of this mindset stuff.”
Dorothy: In the last sixish months, one of the things that comes up with my launches is I really want to address, proactively and retroactively address how I can better address objections in terms of why people wouldn’t sign up for my program. And one of the biggest mindset shifts for me was, I kept being hung up on my 3K price of my program.
And so, I constantly was trying to address the objection of money. And when I started seeing objections as the same thing as my niche, like if someone ever came to me and was like, “I can’t get over my ex,” it’s the same thing as them being like, “I can’t afford this program.”
And so, when I started looking at that and looking at how would I coach someone through getting over their ex and how can I coach that person through the same style of objection, no matter what it is, whether it’s time, money, whatever, and that was very impactful for me. And something that I learned in the last six months that I feel like would apply to your people that I thought was important.
Stacey: I want everyone to hear what she just said. So, if someone comes to her, she’s the breakup expert. She can help someone get over their breakup in three months or less. She knows it’s one thought away.
So, if someone comes to her and they’re in a lot of pain and a lot of despair and a lot of disbelief and the ability to ever feel happy again – I remember being in my own heartbreak. When I would talk with my coach, she would be like, “On a scale of one to 10, where are you with feeling like you’ll ever be over this?” And I’d be like, “I’m at a two. I can’t ever see even getting to a six. I can’t ever see getting higher.”
When she has a client that comes to her and she knows so deeply that she can help them and that it is actually much easier than they think and much simpler than they think, we call it holding the space at the Life Coach School. I’m sure other coaches have lots of different ways of describing this. But approaching that conversation from a deep knowingness of, of course we can figure this out, of course this isn’t a permanent obstacle, of course you can do this.
I 100% can help you. From just the really, in your body, knowing that whatever they’re displaying that feels so difficult for them is not actually as difficult as it seems for them. And approaching that with the level of confidence and belief.
And so, that might look like, with an objection, especially about money – I was using this example in 2K recently where someone had said, “Well, I’m a financial coach so I don’t ever want someone putting money – it would be against my philosophy as a financial coach for someone to put money on a credit card to pay me to coach.” And I was thinking about that. And I was thinking, that’s so interesting.
Because if you think about the end result of someone – so, someone doesn’t know how to handle their finances at all and they’re in debt and they’re living paycheck to paycheck, they can’t save for the things that they want. If you think about that result and you think that you have the answer and you know that you have the answer, to teach that person how to save, how to manage their money, how to have the things that they want, how to think about money in a way that not only makes them someone who can save and who doesn’t have debt, but someone who is maybe financially independent has a lot of choices in their finances for the rest of their life.
Like, if you teach them how to have a relationship with money for the rest of their life, that will change their life experience deeply. Why wouldn’t you let them put that money for that program or that coaching on a credit card? If you know that the end result of your coaching will be a net-positive result.
It doesn’t mean you tell them that’s what they should do. But you understand what’s really at play. And when you understand what’s really at play, it’s so much easier to talk someone through an objection. Because when you understand what’s at play, the little thing in the way seems so small and so miniscule.
Like, so what if you have to sell all of your furniture. So what if you have to cash in all of your IRA. So what if you have to not take a vacation for two years straight. So what if you only have two spoons. So what if you are paying 30% interest on $12,000, $20,000 of credit card debt? Those were all my Cs. I’m not talking about other people. Those were all my circumstances that I, when I was focused on the big picture, all of the money that I invested that none of my coaches were afraid of me investing in, the result I got was a life of a multimillionaire who has an extraordinary life, an extraordinary relationship with money, an extraordinary relationship with my friends, my partner, myself, my time, my team. I literally feel like I’ve lived three different lives on this planet because of my investment.
So, what you just said is so beautiful because when you’re in that space – and if you’re not able to hold that space. If you’re like, “Well I don’t know if I can get them that dramatic of a result,” that’s where you have to start. It has nothing to do with the other person on the phone and how much money they have or how much time they have. It has nothing to do with anything other than your ability to hold that space, your ability to have that belief and that understanding of what’s really at play.
Yes, put $10,000 on a credit card. When people come to me with fear about 200K and they’re like, “I don’t know how I’m going to put 25K on a credit card,” I’m like, “You should definitely do that 100%.” Because you’re going to have a $200,000 business for the rest of your life. So, let’s just say conservatively that you sell for 10 years and you make 200K for 10 years. That’s what, $20 million? I’m terrible at math…
Dorothy: I think so…
Stacey: $20 million, would that be worth it?
Stacey: For life, if you have that skill for life. Yes, it would be worth it. So, I have no fear of someone doing that. I have no fear of someone being financially uncomfortable for a while because I was if I know that the end result is going to dramatically change their life experience for as long as they live and then impact every single person that the interact with and have in their life as well. I have no fear of that.
When you don’t have a fear of what they have to go through to get the results, it’s so easy to overcome their objection. It’s so easy to coach them in the coaching relationship. So, yes, that was spot on, on point, so good. Thank you for sharing that.
Dorothy: The timing was so perfect too.
Stacey: It was. Thank you so much for coming on. I just look forward to watching your journey. I know you’re going to do 300K this year. I know you’re going to do well beyond that next year. I cannot wait. And we have a couple great coaches in 200K, but you all are just like, I love coming and talking to you guys about heartbreak because you’re so near and dear to my heart. That’s not the niche I chose, but I had such a deep experience of that with myself, and so I’m so excited that you’re out in the world helping people, like where I was. And there wasn’t a lot of good help, I have to say.
You said you did all the things. Me too. And the model and Life Coach School, that changed everything. That was definitely a lot more useful than a lot of the stuff that’s out there.
Dorothy: The most useful.
Stacey: I love it. So, how can they come and – there’s going to be two different buckets of people who want to follow you now. There’s going to be the people who might be going through heartbreak; a lot of coaches go through some hard stuff. They go through divorce. They go through breakups. They go through all the stuff. So, they might want to actually work with you. And then, there are going to be people who want to follow you because they want to see what you’re up to and how you’re marketing and they want to be inspired by you. So, how can people find you?
Dorothy: Yeah, great question. So, I’m on Instagram @breakupcoachdorothy. And then my website is dorothyabjohnson.com and I also have a podcast that is super-useful. So, even if you’re not going through heartbreak but maybe you have a friend who’s going through heartbreak, I highly recommend the How to Get Over Your Ex Podcast. And that is like my baby. That is what I really, really wanted to hear and what I needed when I was going through it and I’ve created it just like that. So, it’s very profound. It helps lots of people. So, I highly recommend.
Stacey: I love it. And we’re going to link all of that information up in the show notes. If you’re someone that you’re like, “Oh listen, you’re going through heartbreak, you’ve got to talk to Dorothy…” I love it. Thank you so much for investing your time to come here and drop these gems. They were all so well thought out. I so greatly appreciate that. You know what? Can I steal one more thing from you? Do you have time?
Dorothy: Yes I do.
Stacey: If anyone is thinking about 200K, when they’re thinking about joining, is there any thoughts that you have for them if they’re like, “I don’t know if this is for me or if this will be the right container for me?” Do you have any thoughts for anyone thinking about applying this round?
Dorothy: I’m doing it, I did it, it’s done.
Stacey: I love it. That’s so good. I did it… wait, say it again.
Dorothy: I’m doing it, I did it, it’s done.
Stacey: That’s such a good thought ladder.
Dorothy: And I literally say all three of those altogether. But for me, when I went and applied to 200K, it was all about I did it, I’m doing it, and it’s done. Like, this is already done.
Stacey: And you can use that for making 200K, for making 300K, for making a million.
Dorothy: Yeah, and I think the other thing too, just very small, is I can make 200K on my own. But wouldn’t it be way more fun to make 200K with a bunch of badasses also making that or more? And that’s the experience that I had. It’s just so much fucking fun being in that room.
Stacey: 100%. I actually – I think I told everybody in my email list, but million dollar mentoring with Brooke ended. And for her next mastermind, you have to be making eight figures. And I’m so close, but I am not there yet. They’re having their first meeting.
Now, we’ve kept our little Slack channel open, and so we all still help each other. She allowed us to do that. But I am definitely feeling it. I can make the money on my own, so I don’t have any drama about that. My whole team, our plan for 12 million this year, we’re like, it’s done. We have no thoughts about it.
But it’s definitely more fun to do it with other people. I don’t even care what she charges. I’m in. Swipe the card. I don’t care. I’m in. I want to be in the room because I want to just be around other people. And I will say I can do it on my own. But when I do it with other people, I do have access to so much better ideas. I have more wisdom to talk me out of things or into things. I just have – it’s literally like… I’m not really into superheroes. But it’s like having, what do they call them, the Avengers or something? It’s like the whole team…
Dorothy: The Avengers, I love it, 100%. That’s exactly it. it kind of reminds me – well, this kind of relates to coaching too. But I think about it in any terms of program that I sign up for. It’s literally like playing sims but with a cheat code, or playing some type of videogame with a cheat code. I just think of that.
Stacey: It’s just like your clients. They could do it maybe on their own, but why would they want to? Having a coach is so much fun. I always have someone to talk to about my things…
Dorothy: And who’s always like, I don’t know, the high vibes. Every time I go into the 200K Facebook group, I’m just like, this is where shit happens.
Stacey: That’s a good thought; this is where shit happens. That’s so good.
Dorothy: Something epic has happened today, what is it?
Stacey: Oh, that’s so good. I love that. Oh my god, that’s a great one. Okay, thank you for sharing that. Well, thank you for coming on. Thank you for investing so much time with us today. We are so grateful. This interview is going to help so many people. Thank you for being you, the commitment queen. It’s probably what we should title it. And I will see you this week in 200K. Alright, bye.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.