I’m sharing this with you because, how this generally shows up for me, is in my communication, meeting people, and telling them I’m a life coach. So, if you’re an introvert, you’re probably experiencing the same thing. However, this has never stopped me from succeeding in this business, and it doesn’t have to stop you either.
Tune in this week to discover why being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t be a crazy-successful coach. I’m sharing how being an introvert shows up in my work as a coach, and how I’ve learned to work with it over the years, so if you’re an introvert, you can still meet your clients’ needs and make a ton of money.
Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and life coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.
Hey coaches, welcome to episode 181. We’re going to talk about communicating and selling as an introvert today. So, I want to tell you guys something about me that I rarely talk about. And not at all because I am uncomfortable about it, I just, I always say this to my sister that I’m an introvert. And she always is so surprised, you’ve known me my whole life, what’s happening? But it does always come to people as a shock.
I was just at my LCS Mastermind in Austin. And I was telling one of my good friends, Tanya, that I am an introvert, and she was so shocked too and just couldn’t believe it. So, I’m coming officially clean with all of you. I am an extreme introvert. The I don’t leave my house type for sometimes weeks at a time. The I need a weeklong break after one dinner with my friends type. And the I will escape into my bedroom even when company is over type.
And I mostly want to share this with you because for me how it shows up a lot, as I was telling my friend Tanya, is it shows up a lot for me in my communication. But it has never ever – well, actually it shows up for me a lot of places in my ability to make and maintain friendships. And so, I tend to have more extroverted friends because they have to do all the effort. Shout out to Kara and Lindsay Dotzlaf. Although I think Kara’s an introvert too. I don’t know what happens there, but I do feel like she is the reason we are such good friends.
So, I have some issues. It shows up in my communication, my friendships, in meeting people, it showed up in meeting people and telling them I was a life coach and making offers to help them just like if you’re an introvert it shows up for you, it showed up for me. But it has never ever stopped me from succeeding. And I think a lot of you who are introverts think that this will be something that will keep you from making money or that you will be miserable the whole time that you are making money. And basically, interacting with people.
When I say making money what I really mean is as coaches we interact with people to make money. I hate talking on the phone. And so, people always tell me, “I could never be a life coach, I don’t like to talk on the phone.” Or, “I don’t like being on the phone with clients.” And I could do a whole conversation about that. But I just want to offer that, okay, this is a sidenote, I am deviating from some of my notes.
But I will say that I think that being an introvert or an extrovert, I don’t know, I’m not an expert on it but there’s probably some sort of like you’re born with it and some sort of like a list of thoughts that you’ve continued to think over and over about yourself and identify as yourself. And then you strengthen those and then find evidence, and you strengthen those, and strengthen those and many of them can be broken which is the whole point of this episode today. I have broken many of them.
I don’t think having to converse as with friends, or family, or whatever on the phone is the same as using your coaching brain on the phone and sifting through someone’s story and pointing that out, and having a coaching conversation. Those usually energize me for the most part. Okay, so let me go back to my sister. I recently had a conversation with her about her son who is also very introverted. And I was explaining to her what it’s really like for me and my brain. And she was just so taken aback.
And my nephew, him and I actually share the same birthday. So, we’re both Scorpios, both born on November 14th. And so, when I’m having a conversation with her I’m always able to tell her when she talks about how it shows up for him, exactly what’s happening in his brain and why his behavior shows up the way it does. And so, a lot of times, this is the conversation we kind of had is a lot of times introverted people get mistaken for being shy or nervous. But in my experience it isn’t really that.
Now, again, I haven’t researched anything for this podcast, I’m not an expert. I’m just going to give you a window into my brain and some of my introverted tics and behaviors so that maybe you can identify it within you. Or if you already know and this has been holding you back, I’m going to walk you through how I’ve kind of overcome it and not let it hold it me back in communicating or selling, and mainly in coaching and teaching now at this level.
But let me first just say how I would define introversion for myself the way that I experience it and many of you may experience it differently, that’s okay. But I experience it, this is what I was telling my sister, as losing energy around other people. And that my energy is filled up most often by being alone. I like excessive time by myself. And even people I’m super comfortable with that I love, when I leave them I feel very tired. I might even have a huge burst of energy in their presence but then it’s followed by feeling very drained afterwards.
And I have to say, the only exception has been with my husband, Neil, which is how I know he is my person. He is my wubby, my security blanket, all my friends say this. They’re like, “She’s like a different person when she’s around you.” He fills me up constantly and I immediately calm down when I’m around him. It’s genuinely why you will almost always see him at all 200K events or any big events that I do, or traveling with me when I’m teaching. It just takes so much of my energy.
And when I leave the stage and I’m with him I feel immediately taken care of and it’s like plugging my battery into charge. You guys, come on, I love him so much. Okay, anyways, I always tell him, he’s the only person that I can spend exorbitant amounts of time with and never need a break. So, I love my boo, it’s a big lovefest over here. So, what happens in my brain around other people that I’m no super familiar and comfortable with is – I can’t believe I’m about to tell you guys all of this on the podcast.
But the first one is under-talking, meaning it takes me so long to think of something, to add to the conversation, that the conversation is over, and I have just been standing there weirdly in my head. This happens a lot, we’ll be walking, and we’ll run in some neighbors, and I will just not say anything, and we’ll leave, and Neil will be like, “What’s happening with you? You just stand there like a weirdo.” I’m like, “Well, you guys were talking, and I tried to think of something that I could say that would be relevant to the conversation, but you changed the subject.”
And then I’m like, “Wait, hold on, I just thought of something to say.” But this happens in lots of situations and so what can happen, then I get really self-conscious about it. And then I get really trapped in my head and I’m like, “You’ve got to say something. You haven’t said something in a really long time.” And so yes, this happens, I act like a weirdo. This happens in interactions with other coaches, with colleagues, people in the industry. It happens with people even at grocery stores.
Someone was trying to strike up a conversation with me about being pregnant at – I don’t know if you guys have Fresh Market. We have Fresh Market, and we shop there. It’s like this little bitty grocery store. But this lady was trying to talk to me and there was a big plexiglass, and I was in pain, and just I had no responses for her. My brain was just like, I’ve got nothing. So, Neil was answering for me and looking at me like, why are you being so weird? And it’s not like I’m trying to be rude, it’s just things are happening in my head. Okay, so that’s one is under-talking.
My nephew does that a lot, a lot, a lot, that’s his number one thing. And then the other one is over-talking. So, this also happens a lot in my head especially when I am mingling in groups of people that are a friendly type situation, where there is small talk, I could. And this happens with my neighbor a lot. We talk about this. She’ll ask me about something and then I’ll start to over-talk. And then she’ll just tune out and talk over me or change the subject. And I’m like, “Oh.” It’s one or the other extreme and I can’t find a middle ground.
But this happens when I’m coaching and teaching sometimes too. And I’ve really worked on it over the years but it’s still something I feel like I face. It takes me sometimes longer to get to the point than it needs to. And often I find myself communicating the wrong details, leaving the right ones out, using words like, ‘you know.’ You know, and/or realizing I missed something and then going back to explain. So, I have already done it on this podcast actually. So, it just feels like for me what happens is too much is happening in my brain too quickly.
And there is so much knowledge, especially when coaching and teaching, there’s so much knowledge and experience to sypher through, is that the right word? And then I have my brain feeling self-conscious and chattering at me, and pointing out my awkwardness. So, I have this brilliant set of thoughts and the feeling of awkwardness around other people. And this happens everywhere, in my coaching, but even as a leader. This happens when I’m talking to my team.
This happens on the podcast sometimes. I get so in my head. My head starts screaming at me about my communication and then I have to just stop recording the podcast and wait a day and retry. I know that you guys do not probably think that this ever happens to me. But this happens to me frequently where I’m like, “Yeah, today was not the day. I have too many self-conscious thoughts about how I’m communicating so we’ll just try again tomorrow.” That definitely happens. So, I have to work very far ahead in my podcasts and other things.
Now, this could be highly active brain, very intelligent brain mixed with introversion with a side of self-criticism. I don’t know. I just know how I see it in myself and lots of other introverts. So, I usually ask people when I see them speaking in this way, or struggling in the way I do, I’m like, “Are you an introvert? Tell me about what’s happening in your brain right now.” And not from a judgmental place. I’m like, “Listen, I get you.” And here’s what I want to say. If you’re listening, I’ll just add this caveat.
If you’re listening and you think that you have answers for me, don’t send them. I love you. Don’t diagnose me. Feel free to share your experiences of introversion with me. But please don’t come to me as an expert and define me. I’m not looking on this episode for professional definition. I’m going to talk about that in a minute because it’s been really a big part of overcoming this for myself. So, I’m just not interested. I am talking about it because I feel good. I feel okay about it.
I’m at peace with it and I don’t really care to learn tons about it. So, I’m just not interested, okay? And don’t try to energy heal me either. I love you all, energy healers but sometimes I get messages and they’re like, “You said this on the podcast, let me just tell you. It has to do with your energy. And I want to offer you a session to heal you, and clear you, and all the things.” I’m good, thank you, I’m good.
So, when I’m coaching sometimes it takes me longer to get to the point because my brain is moving so fast, faster than my mouth. And I’m dealing with the other inner dialog and the discomfort of being in front of other people or thinking about other people, listening. And I will say pro tip for all of you who have this going on. My clients tend to love everything I say in these trying to get to the point moments and find lots of value in them.
So, my thought is, when I’m experiencing it, my thought is get to the point and their thought is tell me more, keep going. That has really helped me when I’m in that place of self-criticism to anchor into, listen, you know you could teach better and clearer. You know you could get to a point if you weren’t experiencing this self-criticism in your head very chronically. However, your clients don’t necessarily care about that. They really love the rants, and the tidbits, and the extra things you say, and all of that.
So that just helps sometimes calm me down. So just know that for yourself too, if you experience this, you might think it’s a really negative thing, your clients might think it’s a really positive thing. So that thought really helps me and this thought also really helps me which is being an introvert doesn’t make you less brilliant. What? Being an introvert doesn’t make you less brilliant.
Elon Musk is like this too. And I don’t know if he considers himself introverted or it’s just his beautiful ass mind and him trying to communicate to us regular folk. But I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to him speak, he can do some of these things to such an extreme, he can be really hard to follow. So, my husband is really into Joe Rogan and UFC, and he doesn’t listen to all of his podcasts. But if he finds someone interesting, like a sports guy that he’s into or whatever, he listens. And then if he thinks that he has a guest on that I would be interested in, he’ll tell me about it.
And so, he had had, I don’t know, maybe a year ago, he had Elon Musk on and oh my God, there were so many things that was really brilliant about – let me just tell you one quick story. He talks about how he had bought all these houses and he was going to basically customize all of them, and it was going to be this whole block of houses. And then he sold them all. And Joe Rogan asked him why and he said, “Because he could.”
He would want the Tony Stark, who’s the Iron Man guy? He was like, “I would want that type of house, every detail would have to be perfect. I would ruminate on it. I would spend so much time thinking about it.” And he was like, “And I can spend time thinking about a custom house or I can spend time thinking about how to get us to Mars and colonize Mars.” And I was like, “Oh my God, what, so brilliant.” Anyways, you could go find it. It was a really interesting episode. It was, I don’t know, a year or two ago.
Anyway, so we were listening to this episode, and you could tell that he was editing himself. And he was talking but it was the way he was editing himself didn’t make sense and was weird. He wasn’t editing the right things. And not that it was wrong, but he would not give enough detail of high level concepts. And then he would go back, and it was just kind of this mess to decipher what was coming out of him, especially for someone that’s not as intelligent as him. And he talked about working on brain mapping.
That was a big part of their conversation about being able to actually – I don’t know if it’s called brain mapping. But be able to rewire parts of the brain to be able to see again, or to be able to walk again and crazy things. Just insane technology that is going to be potential in the future. And all stuff way above my head. But it was just, I could tell listening that there was something happening in his brain where he was thinking about what he was saying and knowing that people, the laymen was listening to him.
And then he was trying to self-adjust his thoughts about what he was saying. And it wasn’t always effective or making sense. And Joe Rogan is also really, really smart. So, he was able to keep up with him. But it was a very interesting conversation. I was telling my husband, “Oh my God, I experience that too.” But I’m not quite like or anywhere near the realm of how smart he is. So, mine isn’t quite that bad. But his was, it was a little bit hard to follow.
So, one thing that helps me when I’m coaching, I’m going to give you guys some help if you experience this is number one, I take notes when I’m coaching. If I’m actually, for example, if I’m on a 2K for 2K call and I’m listening to someone, I take notes while I’m listening, especially when there’s lots of, hundreds of other people watching me. So, I take notes of no more than three things I want to coach someone on. And then I start with the last thing first. And here’s why, it helps my brain because I almost get tongue tied if I try and rewind too far from where my brain currently is.
So, if I start backwards it usually calms the chatter by letting my brain express it’s most recent thought first. And then tackling the next thought or the next subject that it’s ready for. So, I usually go backwards. I write down one, two, three and then I go three, two, one in my coaching. In my teaching I prepare so much ahead of time. And I use flipcharts or slides. And I only allow myself three main points ish. Sometimes there are more but I try to really stick with three main points.
And when I’m actively on a webinar I might feel my brain wanting to go down a tangent. And I do my best to make myself stop and I tell myself, “This was valuable enough, any more I might actually diminish the value.” And I actively tell myself things like, they want to hear this, they are enjoying this, their minds are blown. And sometimes I have to tell myself it’s just me here and my flipchart. It’s whatever I need to think to calm my brain down from the self-criticism of feeling like a weirdo and slowing my brain down and/or giving myself a second to take a breath and sift through my thoughts.
So just whatever thought I can find to do that, to allow those things to happen, to slow down, calm down, let go of the criticism, sift through my thoughts. And again, I want to just offer, it may present differently with you. But when I feel weird around people, my brain either speeds up or slows down. And I just work to find thinking and a process that works for me in that given situation, depending on whether my brain has sped up or slowed down.
Now, when it comes to speaking on stage, or being at coaching events, or networking, and I’m also going to give you some tips for these situations. Number one, I give myself lots of rest. There is a part of me who really, really wants to mingle with my students as much as possible, or my colleagues, depending on what type of event it is. And spend time with them and engage with them.
I do sometimes get a rush from being around people I love. And that rush, especially when I really love the people like my 200K students, or if I’m at LCS Mastermind the rush can be really addicting and compelling. But what I know is, let’s take 200K for an example. At our live events I know I have to be on stage for three days straight. Plus, anywhere from eight to 12 hours of Two Million Dollar Group afterwards.
So, I have to make myself and I do, I have to actively make myself or tell my team to make me limit the fun, the engagement, the letting people talk to me and pull me aside or I will struggle the next day on stage. So, I have to actively choose to give them, this is what I think, my thought is I’m choosing to give them what they came for and know that what I’m teaching on stage is the priority.
And I make decisions ahead of time to how my employees kind of shuffle me out of the room or pull me away, or announce not to come up to me on breaks and ask questions individually so that I can pace my energy and my brain. This keeps me thinking at a higher level than when I am depleted emotionally. But this is so important. So, if you’ve come to this episode this is what I want you to take from it. Are you ready? Here’s what it requires or has required for the last several years.
It has required me in order to do this, to not believe that selling is a popularity contest. If it is, I will lose. I don’t have the energy for it to give myself to people in that way as an introvert. So let me just say that again because I think that we feel like, we see extroverts out there who are meeting with everyone, and mingling with everyone. And showing up and doing all the events, and talking to all the people, and hugging all the people. And having all the side conversations, and giving everyone every ounce of them that they want.
And clients will, listen, they will take all of you if they can have you. They will take every ounce that they can get because they just love you so much. So, if you are an introvert that struggles with this, you have to believe that your selling is not defined by your popularity or your ability to give yourself to other people. So that’s why learning to sell and believe in the value of your offer is so important, so that you can believe, or that I can believe they don’t need me personally. They might want me, but they don’t need me personally, they need the value that I have to give.
I’m not making friends and selling them based on them loving me. I’m selling them my process and the results they want. And hear me, for those of you who are introverts, trying to sell by winning a popularity contest will exhaust you. It will run you into the ground. And it will make you hate coaching and selling. So really just try on the idea and the belief that your value can sell instead of your popularity. You don’t have to be giving all of yourself to everyone and extending yourself based on what you’re capable of.
Okay, so another thing I wanted to talk about is networking, individually networking or talking in small groups, okay, because this comes up for a lot of my students in 2K who are introverts. So, here’s what I do because this is usually when silent Stacey emerges in a very weird way. And then followed by of course by making it worse in my head by critiquing myself during the encounter. So, what I tell myself is let them do the work, I’m a great listener. Make it about them, people love to talk about themselves. And this is my favorite, I don’t have to do the heavy lifting here.
This is so helpful, I just get to be interested in other people rather than overly interested in what’s happening with me. But here is why I said earlier in the episode, don’t message me and define me, and don’t tell me what I’m actually describing is this, this, this, and this. Mostly just because I find unsolicited advice very annoying. That’s why I teach you all not to do that. But here is also why it’s so important. If you have weird tics and challenges or behaviors like this. And weird is my label for me, not for you, can I just also say that?
In 2K we always talk about, “Don’t be a weirdo.” But also, being a weirdo is not wrong. It’s just how I label it, being socially awkward or being weird, that’s my label for me. It’s not for you. I’m not calling you a weirdo if you have this experience. But if you have these challenges let me just tell you that how you think about them matters.
When you spend all this time identifying yourself as an introvert. Or I see this happen with a lot of people who identify themselves as an m-Path or whatever you are thinks makes it harder for you than others to build relationships or be around others, or coach, or teach, or sell, whatever it is. When you spend all this time labelling and making it a part of your identity, what you’re really doing is solidifying the belief of I can’t because.
So, part of my experience that has really served me is not labeling things as I can, and I can’t do. Or focusing on making big deals out of things that are an extra challenge for me. I just say, “So what.” It’s not useful to pity and complain, or excuse away why I can’t do something if I’ve decided to go after my dream. Yeah, there’s an extra challenge, whatever anyone wants to call it. I call it being an introvert because it’s my experience, that’s how I experience my introversion. But okay, here it is. And this is how I’m going to deal with it and still succeed. There is a solution to everything.
And the less energy I put into it, the less I focus on it, the less I try to solve for it, I just made a deal, this is who I am, it’s okay. I’m going to manage my thoughts around it the best I can. I’m going to create little shortcuts, little circumstance changes to support me and I’m going to move on. And it’s never been an issue for me. In fact, most of you listening to this episode are probably shellshocked and like, “What’s happening?” Can’t even believe this.
When I tell people, when I have conversations with people they cannot believe the inner struggle that they hear me talk about because it doesn’t show to them on the outside at all. That’s another thought that I can offer you is that for some people it won’t show to them at all. Now, some might, and some might interpret it as I’m bitchy, or I’m closed off, or I wasn’t friendly, I don’t know. I mean they don’t tell me these thoughts but maybe they have these thoughts.
I was having lunch with friends and actually it was the lunch with my friend Tanya, and she had invited some of her friends. And her boyfriend, fiancé was there, and my husband was there. And he made fun of me a little bit, not too bad but afterwards and was like, “You didn’t really talk to the people that were here that much.” And that’s why I had to come out with it, I’m like, “I’m such an introvert. I just don’t know what to say around people I don’t know very well, and I clam up.” And I just, it’s me being stuck in my head.
And they just could not believe it. And then they were like, “Oh, we’re sorry we invited people.” I was like, “Oh, no, it’s totally fine. It’s just if you think I’m being a weirdo, it’s not because I don’t like people.” It’s because sometimes I am experiencing just like, I don’t know, it doesn’t always happen but sometimes it does where I’m just very awkward or uncomfortable. And it happens I feel more around females anyways. I have always thought women were like this whole, I don’t understand them. I have worked through a lot of that as well.
But sometimes I’m just, yeah, I have those little tics. And the last one I wanted to talk about as I went on a tangent is this one comes up a lot for coaches, it makes me laugh. I used to say this too eight years ago. So, some of you are going to get this and some of you are going to be like, “What?” And have lots of judgments. Please don’t judge us. But there are many introverts because they have this horrible experience interacting with other humans and it feels so bad that they feel they like they hate humans.
So, if you have the thought that you hate other humans and you’re coming into the coaching industry that’s fine. It’s okay, you can keep that thought for a little bit. I have coached people in 2K on this. The question I want you to ask yourself is what do you love about coaching? What do you love about the huma brain? What do you love about breakthroughs and helping people go through them? Start there.
I realized that hating humans was such an un-useful and terrible feeling, an un-useful terrible feeling thought for me, so I decided to let it go. Very early on in my coaching relationship as I was out there meeting people and telling them I’m a life coach, making offers, to help me. A big thought that stopped me from wanting to ever get out of my house or into get online on social media, whatever, was I hate humans. I’m not interested in them. I don’t care about them, blah, blah, blah.
Really it was a reaction to this is my experience when I’m with them, it’s not pleasant. So, I had to really anchor into, what do I love about coaching? What do I love about the human brain? What excites me about these conversations that I’m going to have? What excites me about other humans? What excites me about the idea of transformation? I just kind of started exploring those ideas.
So, I will say if you have the thought that you hate other humans, you can keep it for now as you explore other thoughts that will support you, getting out there and meeting people, and telling them you’re a life coach and making offers. But eventually you do have to decide. Are you going to figure out a way to do all the things and still take care of yourself or not? Notice that I didn’t say, “Well, I’m an introvert so I prefer not to network, and not to do big events, and not to have a program.” No, it’s not what I said.
I don’t want, for me personally I don’t want to let it take me out of the game of life. I think sometimes we get lost in our definitions of ourselves. I want you to just consider what I said earlier is what if an introversion is mostly a thought, just mostly. I’m not going to say all of it. Let’s just say most of it, most of the experience of introversion are thoughts. And I actually do think it’s a C, but I like to treat it, I do think it’s a circumstance, but I like to treat it like a thought.
So, I explore the possibility of choosing other thoughts in the moments I need to and then I take care of myself when I can. It’s like a two part process. Choose other thoughts in the moments that you need to take care of yourself when you can. So, I’m going to give you another example of this. A few months ago, I had an entire team of eight people in my house for four days straight working on installing our nursery and finishing a few rooms in our house.
And it was immediately followed by an overnight stay of my sister and my grandma, followed by my baby shower, followed by an overnight stay of my mom, her boyfriend, and her dog. And at the same time my friend, her husband, her son, and her dog all staying the night. Then followed by two more nights of just my friend and her dog and her kid all staying. And I was pregnant, and exhausted, and depleted of energy the final days. The final few days when my friend was staying, I felt so terrible, but I was exhausted.
And so, the two things I did, I didn’t just – and I could have just told people no, I could have not let people stay. There were ways that I could have done this ahead of time. But I was like, I didn’t really think about how much this would be, and so I was just in the moment. It’s already there, it’s already happened, I already made the poor choices of having the workers in the house followed by the baby shower, followed by the overnight stays.
And so, what I did is I’m already in it, so I just kept choosing thoughts to enjoy my experience. And sneaking away to get a little moment here and there to recharge. I just, in fact I think the last day my friend wanted to do five or six different things and I was like, “Okay, I have the energy to do one of them. Which one would you like me to do with you? And the rest, you and your family can do, and Neil and I will meet up with you.” And she was so gracious about that and was like, “Great, we’ll go do this and we’ll go do that and then we’ll meet you for dinner.”
I think part of it too is choosing yourself over other people. I had gotten to the end of my rope, I couldn’t choose the guests, and all the people, and all the things anymore. I had to recharge. And then when everyone left I sat with my computer and worked for an entire day in silence. It was glorious. So that’s my little story. So, my coaching to you is to not treat your introversion like it’s an untreatable circumstance, that it’s just who you are and it’s not fair. Don’t layer pity on top of it.
You can ask yourself, so what, you need to sell and make money. So how are you going to handle it? You need to coach all day on the phone or Zoom if you need to. What thoughts will you choose? How will you recharge? You’re awkward with people, okay, how are you going to handle that? Just ask yourself how you can handle it in your brain or how can you set circumstances up to help you recover from it or prepare for it.
So, I really hope that me just sharing this with you will open your mind and help you feel less alone and that I can be an example of what’s possible for you, especially if you had no freaking clue and you can’t believe it, all of these things that I just told you. And the last thing I will say to maybe motivate you is I know, again, I know it doesn’t often look like I am an introvert, although now that I have outed myself and my behaviors, you will now notice them everywhere. Sorry about that if that makes it harder to listen to the podcast.
But anyways, I am an introvert who is sometimes a weirdo, but I am also highly skilled. I have let myself become highly skilled. I am highly skilled at coaching. I am highly skilled at speaking in front of people especially because I’ve had to work so hard at it. I’m highly skilled at selling. I’m highly skilled at networking. Again, because I had to work so hard at it. So, I let myself against my brain’s chatter, develop skills and then I rely on those skills instead of my personality or my lifestyle.
You all don’t see lots and lots of photos inside my vacations, or my closet, or inside, you don’t see a lot of me personally. Number one, because I don’t sell lifestyle. But I also don’t sell with popularity. I don’t sell by getting people to like me or people getting to know a lot about me. Because that’s something else that I think introverts think you have to do in order to break into the coaching industry. There’s a lot of coaches do, do it, but I don’t. And I’m making lots and lots of money, 10 million dollars. I’m going to make way more than that this year.
I just don’t, I rely on my skills. And I think that is why my programs are so process oriented and they’re so focused on developing skills. Not everyone, there are people who don’t have to be as skilled because they’re so popular and people just love being around their energy, and they get transformation just being around them and being in their influence. That’s just not me. That will never be my value set. Sorry about it. So, you get to decide to not sell with popularity, or sell your lifestyle, or sell by getting people to like you either.
If you’re an introvert, selling like that could actually be a very big uphill battle and make your body kind of resist every single moment, really revolt against it. I had one of my early coaches, that is how she sold and it’s very successful for her. She’s very good at it. And I was trying to be like her, and it was just such a misfit for me, and it made me very miserable. I felt very out of integrity. And I didn’t attract a ton of people that way. So, I had to find a way that I could be me and support me, and still help people.
So that’s hopefully the message of this episode that you’re getting is you can rely on other things to provide value and grow your business. And I think that’s why I love the model. I can be on a call for an hour with someone. And I don’t have to rely on my fantastic conversational skills that are non-existent. I’m relying on my understanding of the model. I am thinking, I am problem solving and I am leaning on that. So even though I’m in an hour long conversation with someone that could be really taxing if it was just a coffee conversation.
Instead, my brain is focused and it’s thinking about the model, and it’s problem solving. And that’s what’s happening, so the hour just flies by. And it’s the same with why I teach such a detailed sales process. And if you’re in 2K I teach a five step sales process. It’s so that your brain can focus on that instead of your possibly less than award winning people skills. You don’t have to have award winning people skills to sell on a consult.
You just have to plug in a five step process that keeps your brain very active on problem solving and organizing information. So that it’s not thinking about you and what’s going on for you, and how you’re showing up and presenting on the call. So, you don’t need to be extraverted in order to be brilliant, to have value, to make connections and to get clients and to go on to make millions, and millions, and millions of dollars and lead thousands of people with whatever you coach on. I’m an example of that.
I am the example of what is possible for all of the introverts in the world. I hope this episode helps you, I thought when I had that conversation with my sister about her son, she was just like, as an extrovert even hearing how I experience it was just so mind blowing for her. And some of my friends have been having these conversations. And I just thought, I need to have it on the podcast because if they’re very shocked and surprised many of you probably will be too. And if you’re shocked and surprised as an introvert, maybe you’re thinking I’m not.
So, you can’t do it because you’re not like me. And what I would offer is you might be exactly like me. And this episode can be a roadmap to get started to creating the business and the life that I have. Alright, I love you all so much. Have an amazing week.
Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.