Ep #92: Deadline Drama

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast, where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 92. Are you ready? Today we’re going to talk about deadline drama. But first, I was just on the 2K page and I was just scrolling, looking at what was going on, catching up. And I left with tears in my eyes, which I’m a crier, so I don’t know if that says a lot.

But I’m freaking out, excited for what I’ve created but mostly what my students are doing. It blows my mind all of the time. You log on 2K at any point, any time, and there are just celebrations after celebrations. We had, last Friday, five or six people sign their first client in one day.

So I just have to read you guys, this is what it’s like to be in 2K. You log in and you see Lisa Fry celebrate, “I’m so excited. Just did a consult and booked my very first paying client. I’m sitting here a little stunned, three days into 2K for 2K and I’m halfway to earning my investment back already. And I just realized that I skipped all the start here videos, except the intro, so I guess that didn’t matter.”

And she says, “I definitely plan to evaluate the consult as soon as I learn how today.” I love it. So go watch those start here modules, Lisa. But she says, “Yes, I’m a paid life coach, this is just the beginning.” Then the post right underneath hers is from Cindy Shames and she says, “I did it. I made my 2K back right now. It has taken me seven months but I did it. Thank you so much for all the amazing coaches I have met in 2K and for the time and support you have given me one client at a time.”

And she says, “PS, I’ve been waiting for seven months to write this post and it finally happened. Being a part of 2K is like winning the lottery. This community is something like I’ve never known. I feel so blessed to be here.” And listen, I commented on hers that the 2K in 24 hours, we have that happen a lot where someone joins, they watch the consult modules, they sign a client immediately.

And those are so fun. But honestly, my favorite celebrations are the ones that are just like Cindy’s. It took her seven months but she never quit. And that sometimes is what it’s like. Sometimes you’ve got to go through all the no’s and you got to have a lot of failure. I was just coaching in 200K and I was telling one of my students who – she’s making $200,000, but she wants to be making $750,000.

And we were talking about her three-year plan, and I said listen, sometimes when we think about where we’re going to be in three years, we underestimate the amount of effort and work and what we have to go through. We don’t know quite what’s going to be involved in the journey, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get started and we shouldn’t keep going.

She was thinking about, well, I’m going to be two years behind where I wanted to be. And I’m like, no, you’re never going to do it that fast. You just thought you were going to go it that fast. We have people that think that they’re going to make 2K in a week. And they just underestimated the amount of work that they had to do in their own brain.

And so for me, the people who are willing to keep at it for seven months until they make their money back, that’s the person who has decided I will make it work no matter what, and I love those. It’s the thing that inspires me the most. That’s all. I could keep talking about it forever, but it really inspires me because it took me a while to make money too.

And I remember being like, I’m going to leave my job in September, and I left my job the following June. Alright, I’m going to read you a couple more because they’re just so good. So Carolyn Ivers says, “I signed up for 2K this month, I’ve signed three new clients, and it’s been the highest income month I’ve had all year. Coincidence? I think not.”

I love it. So good. Another one, “Celebrate. I signed my third client today.” Seriously, what is going on? And she did her evaluation. Let’s see, what else do we got here? I mean, there are so many. It’s hard to even pick out which ones to read. Some of them are long, so I’m bypassing those.

“Consult eval. She was a yes. Previous client from over a year ago resigned.” Oh, that’s super fun. So that was from Rachel Nelson. Guys, this is seriously all of the time. You just scroll through. Jennifer Lebo says, “I just had my first five-figure month and there are still eight days left. I want to take a moment because my brain is still saying I don’t know how. I’m at 12K in the bank, with a payment still pending, a consult follow up, and a quarter of the month left.”

This is amazing. You guys are freaking killing it. So many high-quality posts in this group. Let’s see, Amanda Gold. “Celebrate. As of today, I have officially made my money back. It took me just over a month. This has already been such a journey and I know it’s just the beginning. So many tears being vulnerable, trying new, uncomfortable things, and today it felt good to cry some happy ones too. I’ve signed five amazing clients, all four consults I’ve done with the five-step consult process have closed four for four.”

She says, “WTF. And two more scheduled this week.” She says, “I’m writing to celebrate with you all because this community has been such a gift. So many wonderful fellow coaches in here, quick with support and encouragement, and great questions, plus their own trials and tribulations. And I’m writing to anyone who is new or has felt like I did two weeks ago, where I was scared and so broke and doubting my abilities as a coach and an entrepreneur, this works. And it does start with our thoughts, so think the good ones, be patient with yourself and your new baby business and keep going. My favorite thought today, I’m only going to get better at this.”

Oh my god, that’s such a good thought Amanda. I’m only going to get better at this. Alright, I’m going to read one more and then we’re going to get to deadline drama. This one’s from Yen Shi Zao. I hope I’m saying this right.

She says, “Today I finally truly felt what it’s like to make money as you sleep. I had an awesome consult yesterday, sent over the payment link, didn’t stress about it at all when I went to sleep like it was inevitable, and I woke up to the $2000 this morning. I’m also on track to make $8000 this week, which is so wild to me because making 6K a month just a while back felt like I was blowing my own mind, and now I’m blowing my mind again.”

I love it. “Also, I was actually getting a bit worried last month about not being able to make the threshold for the 200K mastermind. It just seemed impossible back then. Then I realized that I had a slow month because I slowed down doing the work. So I started doing the deep work again this month using ask a coach almost daily. Restudying the consultation code, doing my evals, and making sure to set aside time before the calls to clear my energy. Some of these processes I thought I was “too good for” or have gotten it down, but in reality, what makes this work is the daily practice. This process works. It’s just about me showing up fully every time. And now every inch of my soul is like 200K mastermind, here I come.”

Oh my god, I love this. That was the best one ever. We need to shout that out on Instagram or something. The whole world needs to hear that post. Okay seriously, listen, y’all. This actually leads perfectly into our deadline drama. People trying to get into 200K.

But first, before we do that, I just have to say, y’all, that was me scrolling for just a few minutes. Eight minutes. It took me time to read the posts though. Looking at my timer on the podcast recorder. Like, that’s just eight minutes inside 2K for 2K. All of those celebrations.

I just think it’s the best community if you want to surround yourself with coaches making money and you want to surround yourself with the mindset of being a life coach who signs clients. You couldn’t be in a better community than 2K. So y’all better get in if you’re not in yet. But let’s talk about deadline drama.

Speaking of 200K, I have a lot of people trying to get in. We’re about to open enrollment in the beginning of November, so a lot of people are having a lot of drama because they’re like, oh shit, I got to make 25K. So this podcast is for you, or any other drama for any other deadline you’re setting for yourself. Okay, so let’s talk about it.

Deadline drama is the drama that comes up when you give yourself a deadline to do something. Deadline drama is a good thing. Hear me when I say that. It makes you aware. Aware of all the thoughts that are keeping you from the achievement of your goal. Awareness of all the feelings that you resist feeling.

Because here’s what happens. You set a deadline for a goal and you have tons of drama. You have the anxiety, the spin out. You then believe that something has gone wrong because you’re having all the drama and the anxiety and the spin out. And that you should not commit to a deadline or a goal.

You start thinking goals and deadlines are bad, they’re not good for you. And you start telling yourself this lie that you perform better without one. But here is the truth. You want this process, the deadline drama, you want that to happen.

Deadlines present goals to your brain in a believable way. That’s what causes the drama. It’s like your brain saying the shit’s getting real. That’s what’s happening in your brain. You make it real to your brain. Not some fantasy idea or concept or some alternative reality. Not a hope.

Sometimes we’re like, I hope I make 2K, I hope I make 25K, I think I might. Not a might. A real actual reality. That’s what you’re presenting to your brain. Not having a deadline allows your brain to believe that you can do it without having any skin in the game. It’s like lying to your brain.

It allows you to stay in la la land, daydreaming about the results and having the success without actually doing anything scary that will be required to make those goals happen. So it feels good but you don’t actually want it to feel good. It isn’t useful to your growth to go around in la la land feeling good.

You want to go towards the growth, towards the drama. You want to put your brain always in the reality of it. You want to present everything you want to your brain in a real way. You always want to do that. That will bring all the drama up.

A lot of people like to give themselves a full year to do something. And if you give yourself a full year to do anything, or any amount of time that seems long enough that you feel like you have plenty of time to get it done basically. What happens is your brain has so much time before it ever has to take any action, any real action.

So not the planning, but actual execution. And by the time a timeframe has been presented to your brain in a believable way in which you’re forced to take action, most often it’s too late. There isn’t actually enough time to get it done.

So I’ll give you an example. I see this with coaches who have 100K goal and eight months into the year, they’re like, at 16K because they’ve taken too little action and they haven’t taken the goal serious enough and they haven’t done the thought work required to get to that result. They let themselves indulge in having a year to make 100K. They didn’t treat the goal like every single day, they’re executing a 100K year.

So they might have had thoughts like, “I’ll figure it out eventually. I have time. I’m making 100K this year.” Feels so good, right? I’m making 100K this year, without really making themselves make 8K a month every month. Do you see the difference there?

In January, if you take your 100K deadline serious, you have a deadline to make 8K by January 31st. And if you haven’t made it by January 31st, you need to be concerned about your 100K goal. It’s already not happening. It’s already not getting done.

It doesn’t mean that you quit or you freak out. But it also doesn’t mean that you tell yourself you have all year to make 100K. 100K is being made through the entire year. 8K a month. So February 1st, some drama needs to be setting in if you’re really presenting your brain with 100K goal in a serious way.

You need to start finding all of the thoughts that didn’t create $8000 and what will. And you need to go at it with 100% commitment next month. So if they didn’t have deadline drama, if they didn’t actually set a deadline that allowed them to feel the drama all year, now they try and figure out how to make $84,000 in four months.

And by then, $84,000 in four months is too big of a jump from where they are to be believable to the brain either and come up with any real work required to accomplish it. So the drama, even in that becomes very not useful. Because again, they stepped out of presenting their brain a goal with a deadline in a believable way.

So you can actually present your brain unbelievable goals two ways really, giving yourself too big of a deadline, or too big of a goal in too little time. So giving yourself too big a deadline will not give you drama and will let you feel all warm and fuzzy about your goal, and it just gives you too much time to get it done and too many opportunities not to get it done.

And then giving yourself too big of a goal in too little time will result in too much drama to be effective. You try to make too big of a leap with too little experience and direction and too little of a plan, and you put yourself in a place where you can’t even wrap your mind around where to get started.

So how you know which one you are is if you have a goal where you’re allowing yourself all the time in the world, or you have a goal that’s so big you can’t even wrap your mind around where you get started. So not enough drama, too much drama.

Deadline drama is the sweet spot in between where it gives you lots of drama but it’s useful. Again, drama from all the thoughts that you have that are keeping you from the achievement of your goal and drama from all the feelings that you don’t want to feel that will be required of you to feel in order to do whatever it takes to achieve the goal.

And those feelings are what make you believe something has gone wrong and that you should not commit to the deadline. So here’s what you have to do. Again, a lot of my students are trying to make 25K in five weeks. So I’m going to use this example and help y’all out because I love the underdogs.

My underdog stories are my favorite. Just like the people who it takes them seven months to do 2K and they stick with it. Love that shit. I live for that shit. Seriously, the person who is willing to work the hardest and go the longest distance to get what they want, sign me up. I’ll coach that person all day long.

So you set a deadline, let’s just use it, 25K in five weeks. Here’s what you got to do. You have to allow the drama. If you don’t have any, you have to ask yourself, is it because I know this goal is done and I feel that all in my body and have a very specific plan that I’m currently already executing and it feels inevitable? Don’t lie to yourself. Or is it because you aren’t taking it as seriously as you think?

So ask yourself this, what if it was non-negotiable? Seriously, really, what if it was absolutely non-negotiable? Break it down. 25K in five weeks is 5K a week. How do you feel about that? Especially for those of you that are like, it’s done.

Okay, so if you got to do 5K a week, how do you feel about that? And what does 5K this week entail? What do you need to do to accomplish that? How many clients is that? What’s your plan to get consults to make that happen? How will you make it inevitable?

These are questions you have to ask yourself. Is it non-negotiable? Break it down in how much that is per week, how do you feel about that, what’s your plan, how are you going to make it inevitable, and then I want you to think about what comes up when you think about making 5K today.

Remember, you can have no deadline drama, giving yourself until the end of the week to make 5K because something could happen later in the week. But what if you only give yourself today? In 2K for 2K, I teach my students to approach every day this way.

It’s not 2K in 30 days. It’s 2K today. Today is the only day to make money. This is your only opportunity, the one that’s right in front of you. So when you think about making money, 2K or 5K today, how do you really feel? Whatever that feeling is, no matter how much drama you experience, you have to be willing to feel it, to allow it.

Fear of disappointment, you have to sit with that. Fear of not good enough, you’ve got to take that with you to make money. Anxiety about the work that you actually will need to do today. Like going live on Facebook for example, or writing that email, or calling someone up and asking for referrals, or having a conversation about a re-up.

Whatever it is, that anxiety does not mean you shouldn’t do it. It means you are actually doing it. All those emotions, those come up because your brain is serious about it. If you listen to the three stages of belief, the first is impossibility. The second is possibility.

Here’s the mind trip. For a lot of you, the impossibility stage feels good and you don’t even realize that that’s the stage you’re in and why you’re feeling good. You don’t know that you’re thinking that your goal is impossible, but your brain is. So it’s not even attempting to figure it out, so it feels great. It’s just sitting on the couch, not even considering going to work today.

Impossible actually most of the time comes off as resigned or comfortable. It’s just very nonchalant. Now, you would think because you often associate impossibility with awareness of impossibility. Lack of awareness with impossibility is the resigned, comfortable, nonchalant.

When you’re thinking about awareness of impossibility, when you’re actually setting the deadline and you’ve become aware of your thoughts of the impossibility, that’s what feels bad. But oftentimes, you guys don’t even realize you’re in the lack of awareness of impossibility.

So what you think is impossibility will feel bad, and then moving to possibility will feel good. But that first stage of possibility is really waking yourself up to presenting your goal into reality, you’re met with the impossibility, you’re met with that first stage of possibility, and it really makes you want to throw up instead.

So deadline drama is really what happens between impossible and possible. Telling your brain for the first time no, we’re going to do this. Here’s what my 2K student Jacklyn had to say about it. I actually screenshotted it and saved it. And I was like, one of these days I’ve got to talk about this on the podcast because it’s so acutely observant.

And she shared it with everybody in 2K and I was just so excited for her and for everyone that read the post. Here’s what she said. She said, “I want to share a realization I had earlier in case it’s useful for any of you. I’d been all abuzz seeing the energy of those heading in for 200K mastermind and decided I would do whatever it takes to apply for the next one.

But today, I woke up with a wave of doubt and fear and all the negativity from thinking I can’t pull this off, it’s out of reach for me. But then I remembered back when I started my business, I had been setting crazy goals that felt like nothing to me because I’d never really believed I’d hit them, so it wasn’t scary. The possibility didn’t exist in my mind, so there was nothing to be afraid of.

The fact that I do feel scared about the mastermind means there’s a part of my brain already processing it as a potential reality for me. I’ve moved from impossible to possible, and now I just need to get to inevitable. The doubt and the fear actually mean I’m one step closer to making it a reality. Not further away.”

I’m going to read that line again. “The doubt and the fear mean I’m one step closer to making it a reality. Not further away.” So when you decide to make 5K today and the drama comes up, I want you to do two things. I want you to first tell yourself immediately, “This means I’m one step closer to making this goal a reality. I presented this reality as possibility. I’m actively working right now to figure it out. This feeling is the result of my  problem solving. It’s not a signal for me to run and hide.”

Then I want you to figure out all the thoughts you’re thinking that are making you feel like ass. This is out of reach for me, I can never pull this off. And it’s not even just the thoughts about you that hold yourself back. It’s the thoughts that aren’t useful to finding a solution and creating money.

So thoughts like I don’t have any consults scheduled, I don’t know where to find clients in a pandemic, I hate being on Facebook, I don’t want to do a Facebook Live, I don’t want to write a post, I don’t want to meet anybody, I don’t even know what to charge, I haven’t made any money yet, this person will likely say no.

Find all of those thoughts. Write down every single reason 5K today is not inevitable. Then you can either coach yourself and change how you’re thinking about it, or, I do this a lot, I just say, so what? I don’t have any consults, so what? We’re in a pandemic, yup, we’re going to be all year, so I better get to work. Because I make money even when.

But you want to find all the thoughts between you and money. That’s the best part about deadline drama. Nothing is hidden in the subconscious. The drama is the effect of bringing up all the thoughts between you and money to the surface into your awareness. That’s a painful process, but it’s necessary. It’s good pain.

Remember, once they’re at the surface, that’s when you can start directing them. You can’t direct what you can’t see. Now that you’ve got the deadline drama, you know what you’re working with. If you’re not trying to make 2K today or 5K today, you won’t have any drama about not having a consult today.

So you won’t go out to do the work and get it done. You’ll run errands and clean the house instead. You’ll focus on building your website if you think you have five weeks to make 25K. Your brain will tell you, “This is the goal, 25K in five weeks, so let’s build a website and a free training and make that 25K all at once.”

Now, it’s going to tell you this in a subconscious way. It doesn’t present it as obvious as it would be to make it easier for you to catch it. So what you’ll do is you’ll spend your whole month or your whole five weeks creating shit that you don’t have to have to make money, and your brain will be directing you away from interacting with humans.

Because if you have five weeks, it’s going to fill that time with all kinds of strategy that doesn’t put anything real on the line. It’s going to give you a good old plan that will give you lots of time working and feeling good without actually making any money because you have time. You have five weeks. 25K will happen. Just get the website built and create a training and hone your niche, you’ve got this.

Your brain doesn’t want you to get down to real business where you have to say, well, if I want to make 5K today, I definitely don’t have time to create a training or get a website done. I don’t have time to hone my niche or my messaging or go back and forth about my pricing. I better just decide and get in front of some people and make some offers.

That’s the magic of taking your goal seriously and being willing to feel that deadline drama and keep moving towards it. We recently had someone write in to ask a coach and they were asking about they had given themselves a deadline. They were like, every time I give myself a deadline, I have so much drama, I just think it’s not good for me to have a deadline.

No. It’s so good for you to have a deadline. It’s so good. Because that deadline made that person go to ask a coach and get coached on all the thoughts they have, including maybe I’m not a person who can achieve goals, the deadline isn’t good for me, the deadline does the opposite of support me, whatever their thoughts were.

Those were the thoughts in the way. If you hadn’t had the deadline, you would never have gotten the coaching on the deadline. You’ve got to be willing to have all that drama come up.

Okay so listen, here’s what I want to offer. I have the best students in the world. Everyone in my mastermind is willing to give their time to help others to get where they’ve gotten. And for me, I just have to say, it’s such an honor to teach students like this.

So I’ve asked them to come teach you. So for the next five weeks, starting today, when you hear this podcast, five of my students who have been successful in 200K, who have made their 25K, all the way up to $825,000, I’ve asked them to come to a Facebook Live training for you on my business page at facebook.com/staceyboehman.

And we’re calling this event Getting It Done: 25K Cash. And what they’re going to do is once a week, every Wednesday, they’re going to go share how they make money on a deadline and how you can too. So they’re going to go live and they’re going to do some teaching, and then they’re going to stay on to answer questions and give some coaching.

The sessions will be 30 minutes each. If you want to come live and ask questions, you can, or you can watch in replay. Even if you’re listening to this podcast years from now, you’ll be able to go to facebook.com/staceyboehman and find these videos.

But if you want to participate during this current five-week period, here’s where you go to find the dates and the times and the instructors teaching. www.staceyboehman.com/getitdone. So that’s staceyboehman.com/getitdone. You don’t have to register for anything. All it has is the dates and the times for every Wednesday for the next five weeks, the instructors and the times that they will be going live so you can ask them questions and get some coaching on getting it done 25K cash.

If you are in 2K, these trainings will be available in our Facebook community. We will pin them to the top of the page immediately after each training ends every single week. So again, you just go to staceyboehman.com/getitdone. My students are so generous. Thank them energetically for being willing to give their time to help you get it done.

Alright, have that drama. Set the deadline. It’s the only way you’ll get it done. I’ll talk to you next week.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program, where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.