Ep #132: Extreme Positive and Negative Emotions and the Wedding

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 132. I just got married. What? I am officially Stacey Boehman. Yes, you can officially call me Mrs. Boehman. I have a husband. What? It’s so crazy. I’ve been waiting for this moment for two and a half years and I feel like even longer because I wanted him to propose much earlier than he did. But he says because he really wanted to propose to me in New York and that’s where he fell in love with me and so he wanted to take me to the spot where he realized he loved me.

And I was busy scaling my business and I had so many work trips. And so, he ended up proposing six months after he actually wanted to. And then we decided to do a long engagement because I was scaling my business and we wanted to have plenty of time to plan. And then the venue we wanted didn’t have the dates we had available. So, we ended up having an 18 month engagement. And we planned the wedding for over a year before it got cancelled with Covid and then had to wait another year. So, I’ve been Stacey Boehman online for quite some time.

I don’t know if you guys know the story behind this actually. So, right after I got engaged, literally a week later I went to my coach, Brooke Castillo, she had this mastermind at the time or this program called, I think it was the 100K Group or something. And she had asked me to go because I am a ninja at sales and coaching, the two most important skills. So, I made a lot of money with just those two skills, knowing how to sell and being really good at coaching. And I had neglected all the other things. I didn’t have a website until at least a 100K. I didn’t build it myself.

I just didn’t have a lot of the foundational things in place for scaling. I didn’t know anything about Facebook Ads. I couldn’t have ran them myself or started one myself. So, she was doing this event where they literally had you, you had to build your website from scratch. And you had to create all of your copy for your website and start a Facebook Ad and they did videos for you and you did photo shoots. It was this whole thing. So, we were there and we were looking at redoing my website and it was Stacey Smith Coaching at the time.

And Brooke said, “Well, let’s do staceysmith.com. It’s just so much easier for people to find you.” And we had looked that up and it wasn’t available. And then she had this thought and she said, “Wait a minute, what’s your name going to be?” And I said, “It’s going to be Stacey Boehman”, which I think sounds so much better. And she loved it. She was like, “That sounds so much more sophisticated. We have to rebrand you as Stacey Boehman right now.” And we really did think about it strategically.

I didn’t want to go tell people to stop going to staceysmithcoaching.com and to go to staceysmith.com and then retell them to go to Stacey Boehman. And we didn’t want to have to do all those redirects. And I thought we’re getting married in a year. At the time we hadn’t set the date. So, I figured, we’ll be getting married in a year so let’s just go ahead and do it. And so, we checked and staceyboehman.com was available.

And so, we just decided with my rebrand, I created 200K Mastermind at that event as well. And we redid my entire website and launched 2K and 200K as my only two offers. And we decided to launch me as Stacey Boehman. And so now people have been confused, they’re like, “Wait, are you going to become Stacey Boehman, or does he have a different last name? What’s happening here?” And so, the truth is I feel like I’ve been Stacey Boehman for a long time.

But do you know when you can’t have it on your credit card, or on the bills that come in? And when you sign your name I want it to be legit and official. And it finally is. We’re going to talk about my wedding a little bit in this podcast or a lot. And one of the most incredible moments of my wedding week was us going to the office to get our marriage license, which is just a government office. But we both teared up when we saw it on the paper, Stacey Marie Boehman. So, I am so excited to officially be Mrs. Boehman, officially Stacey Boehman.

I got to change my name on Facebook which was so fun. And so now it’s Stacey Boehman from here. So excited.

So, today I want to talk to you all about extremes and emotions, positive and negative. Some of you may not have experienced this at all. But I do think a lot of you might be like me. It might just be a human condition, I’m really not sure. I do have some friends that don’t go through this as much but we’ll talk about this. Where you might tend to have extreme highs and extreme lows.

So, you go really high when you’re high and you go really low when you’re low. And often if you’re like me you might make yourself wrong for that. The deepness that you feel is a signal of you being ‘mentally unbalanced’ or there’s something wrong with you, or unstable or whatever you call it, however you would describe it to yourself.

So first I want to offer that it can be a signal that you’re living life with everything you’ve got on the line. You’re all in, all chips on the table. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. And I think I feel disappointed so hard, much harder than a lot of my friends I have noticed, and a lot of the people around me. And it’s not a comment on their emotions or what’s happening for them at all. But for me I think I disappoint so hard. That’s like an action, I disappoint so hard because I allow myself to believe so deep.

I build such a precise vision in my head of things and that really helps me in so many areas of my life and business. I would never give that up. It helps me make incredible events for my business, my 200K events are always, everyone, it just gets better and better and people are always blown away. It helps me achieve my goals. It helps me create amazing programs. I would never give it up. But it also means when I’m all in that the pain and the disappointment is potentially going to equal the amount of belief and all in that I really was, if I don’t get it or it doesn’t turn out the way I want it.

And I also wanted to talk about this because I think we tell ourselves we are doing negative emotion or positive emotion wrong. We think others are doing it right and we waste a significant amount of self-coaching time criticizing ourselves for the way that we experience something and what happens in our mind and our body.

And my work this past year really has been on not making myself wrong and using coaching, what I call using coaching against myself to really be self-critical. And constantly trying to improve and measuring up to this perfect model that I imagine coaching should produce, this perfect model human. So, I just want to share my journey really vulnerably with you. And I’m going to share it in the context of my wedding experience. I know that so many of you wanted to see our day, and messaged us, and posted in 2K. And you just so badly are dying for details.

And I had thought about doing an episode that was kind of like a coffee date, just you and me where I would just tell you all about the wedding and have no message. And then what happened is over the last few weeks this message and this episode is what emerged. So, I’m going to kind of combine them. I’m going to share some of my favorite moments and some of my not so favorite moments. And share with you what I experienced in my brain and my body.

And to be clear and just to kind of set the tone, not in order to tell you that you should be experiencing your emotions and your life in this way. But because our brains often like to tell us that we’re doing it wrong. I want to just give you an idea of what it looks like for me at the master coach level after years of work with coaching tools, how messy and clean can sort of all kind of come together. And just allow you to maybe find yourself and your experience, or some part of it in mine. And have a little bit of peace and permission to feel.

Because I actually don’t think the goal is to neutral out, I don’t think that should be our goals that every situation we’re just calm as a cucumber, we’re just cool, we’re neutral. I think that the goal of life is to express every emotion we are capable of as deep as we can express them. At the end of my life, I want to have been all in for all of it. And I think that that’s easier said than done when it comes to the hard stuff. It’s really easy to try to lean into the really positive stuff but I think it can be really hard when it comes to the hard stuff, to be willing to feel all of the emotions really deeply but we will get to that.

So, before I dive in, just I want to say thank you for all of the congratulatory messages we have received, all of the comments on our IG feed. I’ve been reading them all, you’ll hear later on in the podcast why. But it’s been really important to me to keep living the magic of our wedding. And so, we have really appreciated just all of the love sent our way.

So, our wedding after two and a half years of planning I must tell you, was perfect. It was magical, it was worth all of it, the tears, the energy, the money, the time, all of it. Anyone who tells you that it is just a party is wrong according to me. It was a glorious merging of two lives, and two families, and two support systems. And the experience of our wedding was exactly the reason we didn’t elope, and we didn’t rush it. And we were willing to wait a whole another year to make it happen.

We literally could not imagine doing it without the people we love most in the world by our sides. I think it felt to us just as much of a celebration of our loved ones as ourselves. And we were so extraordinarily grateful that even with Covid, most of the people that we invited were able to come, a large percentage of them. And we did miss the people who couldn’t be there. But it was really extraordinary.

I think people when they asked about my wedding in passing would assume that it was going to be really small but we had 55 people there and it was really amazing. And we didn’t have to wear masks. What? Listen, I had a lot of drama about that. I remember when we first talked about a Covid wedding and I was like, “I’m not getting married if people have to wear masks. I’m not doing it.”

And then as this new date came around I was like, “Whatever we have to do is fine. I just want to get married.” But we had so many people vaccinated that we ended up not having to do it which was super fun. The entire wedding, nothing was compromised. We didn’t have to socially distance. We didn’t have to do any of that. It was a normal, amazing, beautiful wedding which was just the cherry on top since I had gotten to the place in my mind where I no longer needed that. It was just the cherry on top.

And we had the most amazing week before our wedding. We flew out six days before and we stayed in this insane house on the property, was 5,000 square feet, five bedrooms, private pool, private jacuzzi, fireplace, outdoor seating, a dinner table, outdoor seating, pool table, guitars on the wall. It was so fun. So, we had a few of our friends who could make the trip early come stay with us. And we did private winery tastings. We had a pool day. We did all of our favorite dinners out. We hit every single one of our favorite places in Yountville.

And then the day before our rehearsal we actually did a separate private family dinner with just our immediate families so that we could spend time with them which was so lovely. And then we had the most romantic rehearsal dinner ever in the middle of a vineyard. For me I will say was actually more romantic than the actual wedding but also just completely different. The wedding was way more showy. There was more on the plate, more people involved, more places to be, more pressure, but also more heightened pleasure.

It was really the whole thing beginning to end amazing. And our wedding itself was everything I dreamed of and more. No compromises, nothing out of what I imagined, incredible. But before the wedding, two days before the wedding I did not expect to find myself struggling with such intense negative emotion.

So, because of Covid, we got married in Napa County. And Napa County decided a couple of weeks before we got married to stop allowing any outside – if you didn’t live in Napa County you couldn’t apply for a marriage license. But you have to have a marriage license to get legally married. So, my wedding planner had found Sonoma County which was doing Zoom meetings.

And all you have to do for a marriage license in California is you can get it from any county as long as it’s in California and then you can get married anywhere. So, we were going to get it in Sonoma County and get married in Napa County. And they did Zoom meetings. My wedding planner called and asked if we could do the Zoom meeting from Kentucky. They said, “Sure, she can do it from anywhere.” And then we went through all the application process and we got an email right the day before, no, the day of that we were supposed to show up for our Zoom meeting.

We get an email that morning that says, “Make sure that you are physically in the state of California. You must be physically present in the state of California to do the Zoom.” So. I messaged my planner and I’m like, “It says that we have to be physically present. It sounds like we should reschedule for when we actually arrive in California later in the week. I’ve already checked. They have appointments.”

And she said, “No, no, no. I called and they said it could be anywhere. They’ve been changing rules so much. I would just show up and ask them if you can still hold the meeting you already have. It’s already on your schedule. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I just talked to someone yesterday.” So. we show up to the meeting and it was pure shock is all I can say. I’ve realized that I surround myself with such amazing people now. And from where I’m at in my business, the level that I’m at, I never get treated badly anymore in my life which I know is very privileged but I really don’t.

I’m at a place now where the people I surround myself with would never speak to me in a way that’s a little crazy. So, we get on this meeting and this woman, Neil was next to me and he’s a cool cucumber always. And this lady she was like, “Are you physically present in the state of California?”

And I was like, “No, actually we’re in Kentucky. I saw on that email that it said we had to be. My wedding planner said she talked to someone in your office yesterday, they said it could be anywhere so we weren’t sure if that was a typo. We’re happy to reschedule. We’re not really sure what you want us to do. But we can reschedule for Thursday, that’s when we’ll be in town or we can, you know, I don’t know what the deal is but we’re happy to do whatever.” And she lost her mind.

Neil, his face literally dropped, dumbfounded. She accused my wedding planner of lying multiple times, actually called her a liar. Told us we broke the rules. Actually, she said, “There are no more appointments available for the week so you’ll have to come in, in person. You’ll have to basically just come for the day and wait and hope that we can get you in and if we can’t, you won’t be getting a license.” It was really awful. I got off the call and I cried for 30 minutes straight. I was just in so much shock of how awful she was.

I was telling everyone afterwards that I thought, it felt like I had walked in to a war that I didn’t know was happening and set someone off. But I didn’t know. It was the craziest thing how angry, how personal she took it. And I even had to call her out at one point and say, “I think there is a misunderstanding, a miscommunication but I don’t think we need to call people liars. I don’t think we need to speak in this way to each other.” I think it doesn’t need to be this way.” And it was not, it didn’t go anywhere.

So, then I scheduled the appointment that was still available on the website for when we would be there for Zoom. And then she personally emailed us, cancelled our appointment personally and said, “I’m the one that gets to decide whether you have a Zoom meeting or not and you will not be having a Zoom meeting. You will have to come in person.” And my wedding planner called her and then she, yeah, screamed at my wedding planner, said that she would be marrying us personally in her office. And that was the only way we were getting married in the state of California.

That we would have to go straight into her office and deal with her and that it’s her discretion who gets married and who doesn’t. It was insane. So, I spent two days crying before my wedding. I had decided I wasn’t willing, I felt almost emotionally abused, if that’s a thing, like attacked. It felt unsafe. And I was like, “I’ve been waiting for this moment for two and a half years, there is no way I’m getting my license with someone acting like such an emotional child.”

And it was very clear, even my planner who is so sweet and so calm was like, “It seems like she just wants to get you back in the office to have another round at you. She’s not done and she wants to just keep going at you.” And she said, at the end of the conversation I told her, “Absolutely not. I will not let my clients come in here to this office.” So, she spent, her and her team an entire night searching all of the state of California to find some place that would do our wedding license.

And I felt so much fear, and anxiety, and powerlessness. After two and a half years I was possibly not going to get legally married and it wouldn’t legally be our anniversary date. And I know some people don’t care about that stuff but I do, I care about that stuff. And it was so shocking. I felt literally like my system had been shocked to be treated that way. There was so much of an emotional effect from that. And then the fear, again, of not getting – it was awful. And we made the choice, no matter what we’re just not going into that office.

So, if we can’t get legally married we can’t, we’ll figure it out, but we’re not getting married in that office. And so, they ended up finding a place 20 miles away in a town a little bit further east to Napa that would just let us walk in and take us as soon as we landed. And my planner showed up, she felt so terrible, to show up, she showed up and held our hand through the entire process.

And so, when we did arrive I will say that Neil and I both, I mentioned this earlier but just seeing my name printed out as Stacey Marie Boehman was one of the highlights and most special moments of our trip. I literally cried in the middle of the county clerk’s office. It just felt so special. So, I’m so glad we didn’t go back to that crazy lady. And I’m so glad that we got it done and it was there.

But I told you that story to say that after that was all over, coming down from that rollercoaster as the first few days of our wedding we started unfolding. I noticed that I was experiencing a sort of judgment about my level of happiness. And also, at the same time noticing, watching my brain that the level of happiness was being affected by my preconceived notion of what the week would be like. So, I noticed that I had imagined the week in my head. And in the week, in my head I was perfectly happy with a perfectly managed brain.

I hadn’t factored in any circumstances outside of my control or my reaction to them like crazy marriage license lady in Sonoma. I hadn’t factored in any normal human drama and stress. I hadn’t factored in worry about work or my cat died two weeks before. And I hadn’t factored in that I’d been fighting with my ex and just this final dramatic official end to that relationship and then any lingering grief that came with that. And so, I had created a false vision of perfection and then started judging myself for not living up to experiencing it as perfection with a totally 100% clean happy brain.

And I was telling my friend, Lindsey Mango, we were working out and I was telling her, “I should know by now. I never experience the world like that, never.” I never just, I’m perfect, happy, that’s – I don’t even teach my clients to be that way. But there’s always something on your mind. There is always something there, you’re always, even when you’re traveling and it’s travel you want to do. You’re always interacting with the world. There’s travel delays. There’s stress of getting on the plane. There’s all kinds of stuff.

And it really, it was an epiphany for me that I do this quite often, imagine things as perfection without factoring in any sort of humanness to the moment. I’m so glad that I was paying attention though and I caught it early and was able to release the judgment. And I got really present and I made peace with my brain and the fact that I’m a bride with some drama, a bride whose week maybe isn’t going so perfect, a bride whose had some hiccups. And when I made peace with that a lot of it just vanished and some of it stayed. But I didn’t let it get in the way of me enjoying myself.

And I actually got really dehydrated from jetlag and I had to have an IV. PS when you’re rich they have concierge IV services that just come to your door. So, I had to have an IV by the pool on day two. And what’s so crazy is after that realization earlier that morning, or maybe it was the day before, I enjoyed myself so much that day.

My friends and fiancé were all playing giant Jenga, and drinking cocktails, and having so much fun, and laughing. And I would not have liked, even if I wasn’t hooked up to an IV, I would not have liked playing Jenga or had been good at it. But just watching them filled me with so much joy and happiness. It was still looking back, one of my favorite moments of the week, just hooked up to my IV and feeling so happy and fulfilled watching all of my loved ones enjoy each other. It was so much fun.

So that is one way that I think that we, when we’re talking about extreme positive emotion, I think this is one way that we steal our own joy is our preconceived notion of what it should be. And then our judgment of not living up to experiencing it the way that we had imagined it. Or I also had some thoughts about how my friends seemed happier than me. And my thoughts about the way that they were imagining.

Now, I had no idea what was happening inside their brains and bodies. But on the outside I was watching them the first day or so thinking they’re having so much more fun than me. And so even doing that was stealing a little bit of my joy. And when I just took away all of that I was able to experience the joy so much more organically and deeper than just sort of that surface intention of I should be happier. I plan to be happy this week. So that thought work really was the beginning of a remarkable present organic joyful experience for me.

So, I do want to share some of the moments that left a deep imprint on me that I felt so deeply. And then I’m going to talk to you a little bit about how I experienced that day in my mind and how I was able to expand that joy even deeper. So, as we, for our rehearsal dinner, everything was on property which was so fun. We could just literally walk five minutes to get everywhere we wanted, even the restaurants that we were eating at.

So, the vineyard was right next to our hotel and you just walked through this little path and you open up and there’s this clearing. And that’s where we had our rehearsal dinner. And we had everyone wait outside of the vineyard. And Neil and I went in first so that we could see the setup and we were going to exchange our bride and groom gifts. I’ll tell you about those in just a second.

And last minute we had decided to hire a live band, live musicians to play. And oh my God, I’m such a fangirl now. If you have any events in California, Napa, Sacramento area you have to look up Ryan Hernandez, such a fangirl. It was the delight of the week. He was incredible. He does all of these amazing covers for all of the bands and music that we like. And our song, our really romantic and very personal couple song is Dave Matthew’s Band, Satellite. And as we walked in I had no idea. I was not expecting this at all.

Our planner had told him that that was our song. And he was playing it live on the guitar as we walked in. And it was, oh gosh, I’m going to get so emotional, the most romantic moment. And we actually ended up stopping, even though all of our friends and family were out there waiting for us we stopped and just slow danced in front of all our planner, and our photographer, and our videographer. We just took that moment and slow danced.

And I’m so glad we did because it was more romantic than our actual first dance which I thought would be so romantic and it was not at all with 60 people staring at you while you dance, not romantic at all. This was the highlight of my life. So incredibly romantic. The table, it was one long table set with the most incredible, some kind of purple flower garland with these beautiful vases or votives of candles lit. I mean it was unbelievable, out of a movie. Everyone kept saying, “It feels like a fairytale.” It literally is so magical.

And then we exchanged gifts and I have to just tell you a story about this gift. So, when Neil and I first, he fell in love with me in New York, our first trip to New York. The 9/11 memorial has a mall underneath it. I can never think of what it’s called, like One World Trade Center or something, it has a mall. And they have a Breitling store, a watch store in there, this really expensive fancy watch. And he took me into the store and at the time I hadn’t even made a 100K in my business yet. But I knew I was going to. I knew I was going to make a million dollars.

I knew we were going to be rich, I believed it deep in my soul. And it’s the kind of place where they wear gloves, you can’t even touch the watches. And they put one on him with a glove. And he was just like, “I’ll never be able to have this in my life but this would be my one dream.” And so, I asked the sales associate if they had a catalog and they ended up taking this beautiful catalog and putting it inside of a bag and giving us the bag. And so, we were taking the escalators up to the first floor and we had this bag in our hand.

And I told Neil, I said, “I want you to really remember this moment and I want you to imagine what it’s going to be like when we’re back here and in this bag is the actual watch because that is going to happen for us.” And he didn’t quite believe me but he thought it was a really cute idea and he said, “It would be really cool one day.” And then I kind of carried it on over the years. And every time we were in a big city that had a Breitling store I would have us stop in.

And I told him it was really important that we kept going to the store and we kept holding on to that vision of having that watch. And on a trip to New York before our wedding we stopped into the Fifth Avenue store and I actually had him try two more on. And say, “I want you to pick out a watch just in case, I want you to decide as if you were going to buy today. And though we’re not, I want you to decide as if we’re going to buy today, which watch you would buy.” He loved two of them.

And one of them was a limited edition that they only make 250 in the entire company. And super expensive watch, three times more than my engagement ring I must say. And so, as he was in the bathroom I had asked the sales associate for his card and six months later I ordered the watch. And funnily enough I had flown to Dallas for a live event that ended up getting cancelled the day that they declared the pandemic, is the day I wired the money for that watch. So that’s also such an emotional part for me.

And they sent it to me and I held onto it for an entire year which was so painful. I wanted him to have it so bad especially as we started making more, and more, and more money and having so much money and we could have bought a 100 of those watches. And he knew it but he still wouldn’t let himself buy it. And I’m such a little trickster so he thought that maybe that would be his wedding gift. And I told him, “There is no way I would ever get you that for our wedding because you have to be there in person to pick it out.”

And I sold him this whole story about how I got my first Louis Vuitton in Paris at the flagship Louis Vuitton and how it’s so important and they pop champaign and you’ve got to experience it. And I sold him on that. I know him really well. I knew he wouldn’t miss it. So, I gave it to him in the vineyard while they’re playing Satellite in the background. And it was one of the most special moments. And I told him that the watch was my promise to him that I would always take his dreams as seriously as I take my own.

And I told him that I had paid cash for the – later on I told him I had paid cash for the watch and I had saved up for it, and we had budgeted for it. It was just really important to him, for me, for him to know how much intention I had put behind it. And he was really struck. It was one of the most beautiful moments that I’ve had with my now husband ever.

And then he gave me an incredible tennis bracelet that I had been hoping he was going to get me. It’s the one thing I’m missing in my jewelry collection now. And it was stunning and beautiful and made me feel so feminine. And then as the night went on the music just got more and more fun. And Ryan played Dreams by Fleetwood Mac for my mom. My mom and I are huge Stevie Nicks fans. And the entire table ended up singing it at the top of their lungs, totally tone deaf but it was so much fun.

And at one point in the night, listen, Ryan’s music was so good. These girls broke through the vineyard, I don’t even know who they were but went through six rows of vines. And I saw them out of the corner of my eye, pulling back the vines to peek through and see what was going on. It was very funny.

And then at the end of the night I requested that he sing Journey’s, Faithfully in honor of my dad. And he ended up singing it as the last song. And my dad is not an emotional person and I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. And having him at my wedding was always so important. And it was really challenging for him to fly out there and to get there. He has a family at home and young children. And so, I was so grateful that he was there.

And when he started playing it, I walked over to my dad and again, we’re just not – we don’t have that kind of really vulnerable, loving relationship. It’s a different kind of relationship but I wrapped my arms around him and I just swayed with him to the music and held him. And I looked down at one part and he had tears just streaming down his eyes. And it was one of the most incredible moments again, of my entire life.

So that was our rehearsal. It was just between the beautiful flowers, the sun setting over the vineyard, the candles, all of our friends and family all of those little moments, the music playing in the background. I guess you can get the idea of why it was so incredibly romantic. I had no idea I was going to cry through this whole thing but here we are.

So, then the wedding day came. And I will just tell you with the wedding that the main thing that struck me that I didn’t expect because I was so meticulous in planning every moment. And also, because I am normally like a psycho when it comes to taking care of my things. I didn’t expect to be not careful with my dress at all and not care at all. I didn’t move slowly. I didn’t try to keep it perfect. I didn’t fixate on the photos looking perfect, on me staying in my heels, none of the things I thought maybe that I would think would matter, mattered at all.

All of my bridesmaids laughed because I would never, I would just take off and not wait for them at all, to make sure my train was in order. And we never ended up bustling it at all. I just went with whatever it was. And I didn’t – there were so many little moments I had planned early in the day with my bridesmaids and stuff. And it was like all of that, I didn’t expect just all of it, the way I looked, the dress, the jewelry, all of my getting ready, those beginning moments of the day.

I didn’t expect any of them to really, I don’t want to say take away from them and say they weren’t important, but for me to really – I expected for them to all be really important to me. And I got to the day and just everything fell away and all I cared about was getting to him, getting to that moment where we did our first look. It was like everything felt like I was just rushing until then and not in a bad way. Just like I kept asking my planner, “When’s he going to be here? When’s he going to be here? What time is it? Is he going to be here soon?”

And then when they said, “He’s here”, it was like everything just aligned in the universe. And we did our first look and it was like I finally calmed down and just the entire day I just wanted to be near him. And I’m like, “Where is my husband? Where is he at?” I just want to be right next to him. And that’s really all I cared about in the best way. I don’t know if I explained that well but it was like none of the stuff I thought would matter, mattered, which I know people say that. But it really genuinely didn’t in the best way possible. All I cared about was being near him, being next to him, being with him.

And he just kept telling me that I looked so beautiful, which made me feel so amazing. And then when we finally got to the part where we were going to walk down the aisle and we had to start the ceremony late because we were still waiting on some people to arrive. And I remember shouting at my wedding planner, “When are we starting? Why isn’t it time? What’s happening?” And she’s like, “We’re waiting on people. It’s going to be fine.” I just wanted to like, again, I didn’t want there to be any space between us. I just wanted to get down the aisle as fast as possible.

And so, when we did start, my best friend started the ceremony by – she was in the wedding, but she walked down by herself. And we had a baby grand piano set up and she’s an opera singer. So, she’s the most amazing voice. And she’s singing Adele’s, Make You Feel My Love and it was so beautiful. I just stood off to the side where no one could see me and just listened to her sing. And I just felt so wrapped in love and just so cared for, and so happy. And it was just such a beautiful moment. Everyone said she brought down the house.

I couldn’t hear all of it because I was so far away, so I’m so glad we have it on video but it was just another most romantic moment. And then I walked down the aisle to Lady Gaga’s, Is That Alright. And I was so excited to get to Neil that I almost forgot to hug my dad. I let go of his arm and I just start walking to Neil. And thankfully my now husband is more on protocol than me. And he stepped up and kind of stopped me and shook my dad’s hand and had a really special moment. And he said, shaking my dad’s hand and taking me from my dad was one of his favorite moments.

And I just spent the whole day just lasered in on Neil. And there was one photo that my friend, Macy took of us at our dinner and you can even see my body language was just, I’m completely turned towards Neil. It was like it felt like there was no one else really there but him and I, which is exactly the way that I wanted it. And we had such a fun intimate time with our vows. It was fun. It was relaxed, intimate, it was all of the things.

And our good friend Julie did our ceremony, and Julie Beavers, she was in my Life Coach School certification class. She’s an ordained minister and she actually coached us early on in our relationship to really come together and understand each other’s values, and principles, and spiritual backgrounds and to really be able to merge together and believe that we could have a family even if we had different values. Or we thought we had different values and different belief systems which she showed us that we ended up not having so different belief systems and values.

And one of the best parts, I’ll tell you one last story is that in the middle of the ceremony, Julie knows us so well. So obviously she knows my name but she got tongue tied and she was trying to say one word and my name at the same time and it came out Tracey. And I died laughing. And I felt so bad because she, I think, might have been a little mortified. And she doesn’t like it when people say the – when ministers say the wrong name.

But I was laughing so hard because at our family dinner I had our family go around and introduce themselves so that both families could get to know each other. And my grandma and my dad forgot my name and couldn’t get it out. They were like, “I’m, um, um.” And at one point I just stop and go, “Okay, everybody, let’s just do a check. It’s 2021, we’re in California for Stacey and Neil to get married. You are related to the bride or the groom, just make sure you’re in the right place.” And it was the whole joke.

So, when she said Tracey, I literally died laughing, I just wanted to be like, “Okay everyone, once again repeat after me.” It was so funny but we just had such a good time. And then I gave Neil a hard time because he messed up on the repeat after me vows. And then when it was my turn I messed them up too. And I was like, “Oh, this is harder than it looks.” We just had so much fun. And then we shoved cake in each other’s face which was also fun.

And as soon as the wedding was over I immediately took my shoes off, my heels and put on flats and it was over from that point on. All of the photos after that, the dress looks too long for my body and it’s bunched up at the end because I’m not wearing my heels but my feet hurt and I wanted to have a good time. And we also didn’t do all of the family photos. I’m sure there are a ton missing from my list because I just wanted to get to my people and talk to all of our guests and just be present. And I was just done with photos.

So needless to say, it was pure magic, it was an insane burst of joy, and calm, and excitement. And I really don’t think that I have ever felt this filled up to the brim with love ever in my life thus far. I expect there will be more but for now this has been it, filled to the brim.

So, since the wedding, one of the things I’ve been thinking about is how often we don’t allow ourselves to feel such deep positive emotion. And one of the reasons I think that is, is because we are afraid it will end and we will be not okay, in some capacity. So, Brené Brown talks about it as foreboding joy, joy that actually scares you, fear of that joy leaving you, fear of leaning deep into it. One of my favorite books of all time is called When the Chocolate Runs Out. I think it’s by a monk. And it’s a really tiny old book but it’s all about human attachment to feeling good.

And I think that is what keeps a lot of us from truly just leaning all the way in, even to our dreams and our goals. Fear that it won’t happen, that we won’t keep it, we won’t have it. But we aren’t meant to hold onto it all of the time. I love how my coach; Brooke always says how boring it would be to always be happy and have everything the same and perfect. There would be no contrast to show us how joy really feels.

And I don’t really believe in, a lot of people have said this to me, “It will be better because your wedding was postponed because of Covid.” And I don’t believe that at all because if I could have married Neil last year, I would have done it in a heartbeat and it would have been perfect too. But I will give in to the idea of byproducts.

And I do think that one of the byproducts of longing for this day so much and because of the contrast of the loss and the disappointment. And all of the sadness of the wedding being postponed for a year was the amount of gratitude we felt for being able to be there with our family and our friends and celebrate. And to celebrate in a normal capacity. To get to have the wedding and have a normal wedding. There was no moment lost to lack of appreciation, no moment taken for granted.

And no moment truly where we held on in a graspy way for fear that I won’t get the moment or that feeling again that it’s only the one day or it’s almost over. There was none of that. It was lighthearted, let’s just enjoy this moment, pure positive emotion. The kind where you don’t even think about the moments coming up which is a good thing but we’ll get to that in a moment. But really truly I think it’s so important to know when you think about these highs and these lows, that the lows also help contribute to the highs.

And I believe that is totally true in this experience that I’ve had is I experienced some really low lows on the way to my wedding, the day that we had to cancel the wedding, that stupid lady at the marriage license office. We had a lot of issues with the estate that we got married at, a really hard time with them, they were really awful to us in the entire planning process, not on the day of, I was so shocked, I expected terrible service. And it was really top notch so at least we have that.

So, the other thing that I think keeps us from experiencing deep happiness is many of us come to coaching being relatively inexperienced with feeling that emotion, true joy, and happiness. We haven’t exercised it enough and grown our capacity to experience it. So, I kept thinking the entire week, but really those two days especially how grateful I was to have worked on my emotions for the last five years and to have had the capacity to experience that day for every single drop of goodness to really be able to let it all in.

Feeling happiness is just a muscle. The more willing you are to feel it, the more often you allow yourself to feel it, the deeper you will be able to take it. And it isn’t a problem to take it deeper and when you do take it deeper you will often have the other extreme of going to the negative deeper. And I just want to offer that neither are a problem, to go from one extreme to the next. Remember it doesn’t necessarily stick around, it isn’t always meant to.

So, the last thing I’ll say on deep positive emotion is other people might feel uncomfortable around the things that you do for yourself with your success, the things that bring you joy and make you happy. And with you being in a deeper state of joy or positive emotion then maybe they’re able to experience. But what I found with this experience of my wedding was that this is really mitigated by your having of it, your comfort in your own emotions and in your own experience.

I was really afraid that my family and friends would come and be really turned off by the extravagance of my day. By the display of emotion, by all the moments we planned and packed into the day, by how much we spent on the wedding because that has happened in the past with other experiences. But they really weren’t, they were so inspired by it.

They found it lovely and really felt like it was a treat to be a part of it. And I wasn’t expecting that. I mean I was prepared really either way to stay in my joy but it was perfect. They loved it. They were not uncomfortable by it at all. And I really think that was because of my comfort and my peace with it. If I’m going to spend money I’m going to allow myself to be comfortable in that.

And if I’m going to be in extreme joy on especially a day like that, that’s all about me and my husband I wanted to be surrounded by people who I felt comfortable doing that with. And then allow myself even if there is discomfort with those people, allow myself to experience that fully and let them do whatever they wanted with it. Let them have their emotions around it but just pay attention to me. So that’s what I did. But we know life is 50/50. So, the high rise can be followed by a high fall, not all of the time.

Sometimes you get this gentle, loving, calm, slow ease out of the high of all highs. And it’s beautiful and soft, and it’s sort of like letting the air out of an air mattress, just slow and steady. It’s how I often feel with my 200K events. I have a week to myself after to bask in the glory of it and slowly come down from the high. And what sometimes is meeting me is more positive emotion. And it kind of just keeps flowing at a steady pace, that happens sometimes.

Unfortunately, my wedding was not one of them. I really wish it had been. In my mind that is what I had set up for myself and planned over the last two years. But I always say that any mental suffering I experience I always want to learn and then pass that on so that it at least serves others and it isn’t pointless suffering. Actually rewind, there is one more juicy thing that happened, I’ll tell you about really quick.

We went to French Laundry the day after our wedding, our favorite chef in the entire world is Thomas Keller, Neil makes – he’s done his masterclasses and he makes a lot of his food and we love his Surf Club restaurant in Miami. And he has three of his restaurants just in Yountville where we got married. He has French Laundry, Bouchon and what’s the other one called? Ad Hoc, we haven’t been to that one. But we’ve been to Bouchon a couple of times and we’ve been to French Laundry.

And so, I rented, actually French Laundry is also famous for another thing. People that ask me about this, they’re like, “Where have I heard French Laundry before?” And I’m like, “Yeah, it’s that restaurant where that California governor got caught after he’s let his whole state down, being a hypocrite and being maskless with a bunch of people who were not his family out at a fine dining restaurant, it was French Laundry.” But that’s not Thomas Keller’s fault.

So, we went to French Laundry and we actually had that exact same table funnily enough. Neil kept joking that he was going to ask for the Newsom table. That’s the table we had. It was a private table. And so, we went there and it was, first of all, French Laundry is just the epitome of fancy experiences. But you all listen, I lost my mind. Thomas Keller was there and he came out and greeted us and wished us a happy or a congratulations on our wedding, I don’t even know. My jaw was too busy on the ground.

I kept thinking, is that really him? Is that really him? What’s happening right now? What’s happening? He just came out to say hi to us like a normal person. And yeah, so we got a tour, a private tour of the French Laundry kitchen and he was back there cooking at that time. And we got a private tour of their wine cellar. It was insane.

Okay, so that was the day after the wedding. And then we went home and packed for our honeymoon. We decided to fly private from Napa to LA, just because we were going to be flying for so long. I was trying to mitigate the travel just fatigue and exhaustion because we were going to Bora Bora for our honeymoon. And it was an eight and a half hour direct flight overnight. And I don’t fly well. I have a lot of anxiety around it. So, we flew private, we flew it. We got in and we went to Manhattan Beach.

We ate at our favorite restaurant, Fishing With Dynamite, if you’re ever there. It’s one of our faves. And then we got to the airport and we went to check-in. And the guy checking in, that worked for Air Tahiti Nui, looks at me and says, “Alright, where are your entrance papers?” And I said, “What entrance papers?” And he said, “You have to have entrance papers. You had to apply six days in advance to get into the country.” And I was like, “Wait, what? I have my Covid test. I have my vaccine card. That was all I was told that I had to have.”

It turns out our honeymoon planner did not tell us about three official forms that have to be filed six days in advance of travel, printed out. You have to be approved to get into the country and they have to come with you. So, you have to have five things at the airport in order to get into the country. And she told us about two of them. And she actually knew about the papers, she knew about it, just didn’t communicate it to us.

And because we went with the travel agent, she’s the person in the middle. So, any airline communication about the paperwork and any hotel communication about the paperwork went through her as well. And her response as I stood in the middle of the airport was, “I sent it in an email.”

Which I eventually found the email which was a seven page itinerary in which there was one paragraph. And in that 20 sentence paragraph there was one sentence that mentioned some form. And after knowing about it I read the sentence and still didn’t understand the exhaustive work required and the hours and hours of filing paperwork, and flight plans, and telephone numbers for where you’re staying. And it was a very extensive process.

She gave us not one check-in about it, she didn’t check one time to ask if we had it. She didn’t mention it verbally one time. In fact, our last meeting that we had with her, Neil, myself and my Chief Operating Officer, Michelle was on the call and none of us knew about it. And so, I found out in the middle of LAX at 8:00pm at night that I was not going on my honeymoon. And he said in a very snarky awful way, because I don’t know why people can’t just be nice in this world anymore. It’s out the door with Covid. Everyone seems to have an excuse to just be a total ass.

So, he just looks at me and says, keep in mind it’s my honeymoon. I’m wearing, I think a shirt that says something about being a bride, that, “You’re not traveling today so go back home, rebook your trip for a later date. You’re not traveling.” Just awful. I had an actual panic attack in the airport and cried for many days straight. It was, I just can’t explain the awfulness that I went through.

And one of the things that I want to say about deep negative emotion is I think that we don’t allow ourselves to feel deep negative emotion because we are afraid that we’ll never get out of it. I remember telling myself the one thing that I’m so grateful for standing in the airport, I mean bawling my eyes out. And I planned the whole honeymoon so I had this extra layer of just shame and guilt that I had missed it. Michelle and I never miss things. So, the fact that we even missed it, it’s like she really did not communicate it. It was her only job.

My favorite was she said, “That’s not my job.” And I said, “Lady.” Literally I think I said, “Lady, you’re a honeymoon planner. Your only job is to make sure we get on the plane.” Actually, I think I said, “The effing plane”, to be clear. It’s the only job, her only job, didn’t get on the plane. But I felt so much shame that I had ruined Neil’s honeymoon as well. And I just kept apologizing through my sobs. But the one thing that I remember telling myself quickly in my mind, because I know myself, I know my tendency to experience extreme negative emotion.

The day we cancelled my wedding flashed in my mind and I told myself immediately. So, I want you to hear me, this may be really helpful for you if you experience extreme negative emotion. I said, “This is going to be fast, and hard, and suck really bad but you will make it through this.” And that was so helpful. I just prepared myself and assured myself. I knew if I could survive my wedding being cancelled, and waiting a year to get married, and the negative emotion of that, I could experience my honeymoon getting cancelled too. And I could experience that. I’ve got this.

But knowing this doesn’t exempt us from the pain, from experiencing the negative emotion. And it turns out on top of you have to apply six days in advance, because of Covid they only fly every three days to French Polynesia from LAX, or San Francisco, or any of the hubs. And because of that all of the flights are booked so we couldn’t get another flight for two weeks. So not just six days, two weeks. So, I cried off and on for the next three days straight. At one point I wondered if I had the energy to cry anymore.

And then the next week we flew immediately home. And the next week felt – the only way I can describe it to you is like falling further and further down a deep dark tunnel, just experiencing the negative emotion, and then compounding the negative emotion with all of my thoughts. And I really, I will say that at some point, I don’t even remember in the fog of it all, I did commit to feeling all of it and not trying to just glaze over it but to give total surrender and my body to sadness and pain and be with my body through it.

And one of the other things I think is really important to tell you is I also decided not to let anyone else try and ‘make it better’. So, I really want to offer for you if you go through extreme negative emotion of any kind, if someone doesn’t say yes on your consult and it throws you into the deep dark tunnel. If you get 10 no’s in a row. If you go six months without signing a client, whatever it is. Don’t try and feel better or allow someone else to try and make you feel better. You have to be really careful. It’s very subtle but don’t try to make it go away.

Don’t try to make it positive. I call this spiritually bypassing over it. You have tools and you – I don’t even know the way to describe it. But it’s like trying to turn something positive that doesn’t need to be positive. The belief that everything should be positive and just kind of glazing over the negative emotion in preference for the positive emotion. And especially with other people, other people will be uncomfortable with your discomfort and pain. And I want to encourage you to let that be their problem. Don’t take that on. Be with you where you are.

Stay in your own honesty of where you are. And don’t judge yourself for it. I did a coaching call with my coach and we talked about a lot of things, me writing a letter to the honeymoon planner expressing my feelings. My thoughts about how I shouldn’t have let it take me out of my high feeling of just being married. And I know you all do this sometimes too where you use how you think I would respond against yourself. And Stacey would do it this way and I’m doing it wrong.

And so, I had told my coach Bev that my coach, “I just know that Brooke would just be at home happy and focused on her husband. And that I’m doing it wrong. And I shouldn’t be having a response to what happened.” And I love what my coach Bev said to me that I really, I wrote it down. I wanted to share it with all of you. I mean I didn’t write it down for that reason but looking back I want to share it with you which is she said, “Stop adding more injustice to the injustice by discounting your feelings and your experience.”

It was so powerful for me to hear this. It was powerful for me to be able to even just accept that it was an injustice and that I shouldn’t just change my thoughts around it and not care. Because a lot of people were telling me, “Well, lots of people choose to take a break in between their honeymoons.” And there was a time where this was helpful and there was a time where this was not helpful to hear because, and I was telling my coach this, I didn’t choose for it to be that way. I purposely know myself and what I like and what I want.

And I chose to go directly after. I wanted to be in the high of getting married. We were already on the West Coast, we were already out of the jetlag, I wanted that experience. I very thoughtfully chose that experience. And it was taken from me and I had trusted this planner to equip me with what I needed to travel and she didn’t. So, I had trusted someone and they broke my trust. I had chosen thoughtfully what was best for me and I wasn’t getting it.

And then on top of that, on top of that experience I was telling myself, being really upset about it was like a first world problem, I shouldn’t be – I’m not giving justice to my marriage. And I should just be focused on him and just all of it. And it was so powerful to hear that all I was doing was discounting and adding more injustice.

So, I want to offer that to you is that if you are going through a negative emotion, I don’t care what throws you into negative emotion and what thoughts you should have. Don’t pile on top of them with crapping on yourself really, truly, putting yourself down for having a human brain, and human emotions, and human reactions. It’s one thing to indulge in it.

And how you know whether you’re indulging or not, for me this is what shows up is when I’m indulging I’m unwilling to try to work through it. I’m unwilling to feel the emotion. I’m unwilling to self-coach at all. I’m unwilling to try to look at it differently, to try to feel better at all. Again, I’m unwilling to feel the emotions in the first place. And then I’m unwilling to try to feel better or to try to find thoughts that could get me to a better place. I’m just unwilling to do any work around it.

So, when you’re indulging you’re unwilling to do any work around it. But if you’re willing to do work around it even if it’s messy and awful, and it’s a whole process and it takes a long time. All of that is okay as long as you’re willing to be in it and to be present in it. And even if you’re indulging, fuck that, that’s okay too.

Listen, I did some indulging. A did a lot of self-pity and I coached with my coach Bev and I’m not going to feel bad about it. Yes, I deserved a little bit of fucking pity for myself. I don’t need it from you. But I’ve done it, I’m good now. So that’s what I want you to take away, even if you indulge, that shit’s okay too.

Alright so here’s what I also want to offer. I got to the point where I felt so much rage that my coach was asking me if I needed to scream. And she told me, she gave me permission to hit pillows or pound the ground but I couldn’t. I could feel my fear of letting it out and not being able to contain it. And a lot of you tell me that when you talk about negative emotion with me, whether it’s in 2K or 200K or Two Million Dollar Group. It’s always around fear of not being able to contain it. And I want to offer that you will always be able to contain it. It’s not useful to think that you won’t.

Even if you can’t contain it for a while it’s not useful to tell yourself you can’t contain it. If you tell yourself you can’t contain it you’ll never be willing to work through it. So, you want to work through that rage, through that anger, through that negative emotion, whatever’s coming up for you and express it physically however you need to, even if that’s in a scream, or hitting pillows, or pounding the ground. Her telling me that was okay was so profound. And then for her to be there to witness it was so profound.

And the way that we started is she just had me go into my body and feel where the emotion was in my body. Of course, it was in my throat because I had the rage and felt like I needed to scream. And she had me describe it and create it into almost like a little being that I could imagine seeing and talking to. And we had a conversation with it. And I let all of my tears come out. And eventually I let the screams come out and I felt kind of stupid but it was so useful.

I have never had someone witness me like that and it was just this powerful moment of self-acceptance that nothing is wrong with me to feel so deep, to feel so much anger, and rage, and sadness. Especially, especially at a time where it was supposed to be the happiest of my life. And what was really below all of it truly, all of the rage and anger was sadness. So, I want to offer that to all of you when you’re feeling really angry. I just coached someone recently in 2K about this. If you’re feeling rage, a 100% of the time at least for me what’s below that is always sadness.

And I think that it’s so much more challenging to feel sadness than anger because it requires true vulnerability to let in the sadness over the anger, to drop the anger and then lean into the sadness. So just know that that’s what could be underneath and your brain could be producing anger, or rage, or another extreme emotion, blame is another one. Can be offering that up to your brain and your body as a way of trying to protect you from feeling the vulnerability of sadness.

I think it’s a protective mechanism of our body to take us out of sadness and into anger, or rage, or blame just because it’s an easier emotion often for us to access, so just know that. So, after this coaching call with my coach, I went back and forth. I had moments where I turned my time at home into joy and let myself kind of feel mesmerized by my husband and grateful for my life. And to know that in the scheme of things my life is so much more than a honeymoon. And I reminded myself how much joy was available just in the remainder of the year, let alone our life.

And I focused on what truly mattered to me, let me be clear, not what other people say matters in the scheme of things because lots of people like to give you advice on things that really matter, but what I think matters to me. And then there were days when I felt the sadness and the anger all over again, entire days where the grief was so overwhelming. All I could do was sit with it. And I slept a lot. My body needed so much sleep so I gave it sleep. And I think that my overall offering to you is it’s okay to take your time in the negative emotion when you’re really going through it.

I didn’t go back to work the 10 days that we were home. In fact, I was really clear about not wanting to do just do any business as normal things. I wanted us to spend the time and to rest and recover. And we did, I finally got to the place where I actually wanted to record this episode for you. And I also think that this is something I do that’s really helpful is I rate the level of emotional pain I’m experiencing so that I can prove to my brain that it is lessening. For example, at the airport it felt like a 50 on a scale of one to ten, so high it didn’t even register. And today it’s more like a four.

So, I just like to show myself that the pain is easing. And I also like to look for emotional markers. My friend, Rachel Hart checked in on me and asked me how I was doing. And I told her, “I’ve gone from past focused rage to future focused worry that we’re going to be able to actually go the second time.” So that’s an improvement.

And after my brain finally grasped what had happened and the shock wore off and the disbelief worked its way out, and the resistance to what happened calmed and it was just what did happen. And what we are doing and there’s no changing it, after that a lot of the calm came back. And then that’s when the worry set in, the worry of our upcoming travels, and the paperwork getting approved, and the Covid test being the right Covid test and all of those things.

So, as I’m recording this we still haven’t gotten our final approval from the High Commission. We’re leaving tomorrow morning for LA. We’re going to spend a couple of days in LA to try to ease some of the jetlag and ease back into West Coast time. And hopefully, they say 48 hours in advance of your flight, which is extraordinarily considerate of them seeing as though people fly upwards of 15 to 20 hours to go to visit their country, 48 hours is definitely enough time to make sure all your plans are in order. Sense the sarcasm.

But I will say I am in a place today right now where I am committed to having a honeymoon, even if it’s not in Bora Bora. I have talked to Neil about chartering a plane to Hawaii or Mexico if we’re not able to board, if there are any issues, already thinking ahead of a backup plan. So, I would say that’s a considerable improvement knowing I have imagined and planned every moment of this Bora Bora trip for two years since we made our initial deposit. So, folks, we do feel better, we do, I promise.

There is the time where it sucks really bad, the time that it sucks not so bad and then the time where it starts to be okay. And then there are the times where we are happy and filled with joy and those we have to grab onto and feel deeply. And know that we will have to let it go some time soon. So, I really hope that my experience helps you in some way. That is 100% the intention. Do not pity me. I’m okay, I promise. Spend no time worrying about me. Fine, and really truly I mean that which is so great. It’s not a platitude or whatever the word is to say fine. I really do feel okay.

So, I just really hope this experience helps you in some way whether it’s you personally or if you are not someone who experiences extreme emotions, be careful. If you’re a coach and you have a client who does, that you’re not judging their emotions and thinking that there is something wrong with them. There might be something. There could be an actual diagnosis but we’re not talking about that. I’m talking about what I find is typical human extreme negative emotions and positive emotions that we just don’t talk about.

And so just know that that’s perfectly normal and it’s totally, fine, and okay. And we will live emotionally to see another day.

Alright, I love you all so much. Thank you all for listening and being here. And I will see you next week.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2,000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.