Ep #374: Lessons from 10 Years in Business: What It Means to Be ALL IN

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and Master Coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first $2k, $20k, and $200k using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 374. Today, we have another lesson in 10 years in business: What it means to be all in.

So, I recently completed a launch of a brand new offer, a permanent offer for the first time in eight years, really, since I created 2k, 200k, and then the 2 Million Dollar Group. It’s been many years since I’ve created a new permanent offer. And we launched the Entrepreneur Coach Membership and generated—and I’ll talk about that in a second—but generated $1.5 million of brand new revenue to the company in the first opening of its launch.

This is an incredible result. And I had come off of selling a Cyber Monday offer called Making of the Offer, the behind-the-scenes experience. And I brought people along to see me in kind of the preparation to get this offer up and off the ground, putting the launch together, and then seeing the launch all the way through. And then we ended the group with me giving an update of how it went. And I showed them a little bit of everything behind the scenes.

But what I feel like I ended up showing them at the end of the day is what it really means to be all in. And many of them reflected that back to me, saying, “I didn’t really realize what all in meant until I watched you put your launch together, until I watched you go out and sell this and see it all the way through, until I watched you overcome your obstacles and overcome setbacks.”

So, I was really thinking about that. And I get asked this so frequently, what does it mean to actually be all in? And people will tell me, “I feel like I’m all in, but my results don’t show it.” And I just feel like after 10 years in business and $45 million of revenue, I have a great working definition of it, of all in. And what I believe about being all in is it’s a way to measure your own effectiveness at creating what you want. So, it’s really important to know what it is, right? To know the definition of being all in and then to use that to measure your own effectiveness at creating what you want.

And I don’t believe this conversation is about someone else deeming your effort good enough. I don’t even think it’s all about effort. But I do believe knowing what all in is and knowing where you are on the all-in spectrum really allows you to be clear and at peace with yourself, knowing you’ve done everything you can possibly do to make your dreams come true.

And I also think having this, a working definition for yourself lets you know even when you’ve done everything that you currently can, right, you’ve done your current version of all in, that there’s another version of yourself with greater capacity to think and to do that will be even more all in. So, there is a possibility that your current level of all in isn’t good enough. But you can create a new level of all in for yourself. And I’m going to show you where you can start.

So, I’m going to share with you in this episode what I believe all in really means, how to tell the areas that you’re all in and some of the areas that maybe you aren’t, and what to do about it moving forward. 

All right. So, let’s dive in. Here is what I believe all in means. I have several definitions, and I feel like they work all together at the same time. So, the first one is all in means that you take—and this is, by the way, this is not in order. This is just how I thought of it, how each one that came to me one after the other.

So, the first one is all in is you are entertaining every idea of massive action that your brain comes up with from a state of belief, within means and reason, you entertain that by taking action on it. So, every idea of massive action that comes from belief, you action on. I have an idea, I go do it. I have three ideas, I do them all. 

Now, I say “within reason” because I do think when you’re learning to be all in and you’re learning to action on all the ideas that your brain offers you that would, “If I want to accomplish this goal, here’s an idea that you could do this, you could do this, you could do this…” Some of those ideas will be a little bit not reasonable, right? And so I’ll give you examples of that.

An example of listening to an idea was my doing Making of the Offer behind the scenes. That to me was a really grand idea, and even for me, normally, I would be like, “Okay, but that’s a lot of work, and that’s a really big risk. I’ve never done something like that. I have no idea if it will convert. I have no idea if it’s going to be a great feeder for this offer. I have no idea if it will be if I’ll have the energy to do it. I have no idea if people will love it. I have no idea if they’ll be engaged with it.” Like it’s a big idea, but there’s a lot of risk associated with it.

But I had this idea, and it felt really aligned and exciting, and so instead of talking myself out of the effort that it will require to do such an in-depth behind-the-scenes experience, I went for it.

And I decided for every idea to record a behind-the-scenes, even if it was inconvenient, I decided to go for it. So one idea I had within the behind-the-scenes experience was to create a video while I ate lunch and called it Have Lunch with Me, and I talked through the reasons behind my founder’s bonuses, why I chose the specific bonuses for my 2k students, and why I chose specific bonuses for the Making of the Offer people. And there were specific decision-making processes, and I walked people through it over an hour while I ate lunch, and invited them to eat lunch with me while they watched the video.

There was another idea I had to just like film a day in the life of, and so I recorded myself here and there throughout an entire day of me working. And so some of that took a lot of energy, and my brain would be like, “I just want to sit and eat lunch,” or, “Oh, this is going to be a lot to keep up with.” And I just decided instead of deciding ahead of time that I won’t have the energy, I’m going to say yes. It’s like everything is a yes that my brain is offering me, and then I’m going to step my energy up to fulfill that. I think that is listening to an idea.

Where it gets tricky and where I want you to do it, start with those types of things and what I call “within reason,” your brain might also offer you, “I have this grand idea to host a retreat that I’ve never hosted before, and I’m going to drop $12,000 on a nonrefundable deposit, but I have no experience selling retreats and I have no idea if that’s actually going to work and if anyone will pay me and I don’t have demand for it yet. And I’m going to hope that it all works out because it was an inspired idea and I’m going after it.”

Now, listen. I also say this with a grain of salt because the first year that I made $150,000, which was my first full year in business, I had an idea to sponsor a networking event that had 250 people coming to it that were mostly business owners, and it was $8,000 to be a sponsor. And you got like a booth at the front in front of everybody, and you got to speak on stage. And so I paid $8,000. Now, I was making money from my business, but I paid $8,000 to sponsor it. And then I had to pay a certain amount to create booth materials, like a banner and little things to like hand out to people. So there was some cost there.

And then I ended up spending $13,000 on a VIP experience to plan out and like become the version of me that could really show up, and like it just felt like a big thing. Like I’m going to be speaking in front of 250 people, and I’m going to be talking about my business. And it just felt like the biggest thing I’d ever done in my business ever. And so I did a two-day VIP where we just coached on me becoming the person that could execute in my mind at the time, such a high-level thing.

So that was me being about $25,000 in to what I would call marketing for my business, and not really knowing how it was going to turn out, and never having done anything before.

I will say I don’t think I got any clients from that experience, and I invited a ton of people that were either working with me already or were thinking about working with me or that I knew to come to this event. I hosted a networking event separate from this event the night before and invited all those people to come.

So I ended up being at this 250-person event with 30 people that knew me and were taking photos with me, and then I posted those online. And the person I became in that process ended up becoming the person that made $150,000 that year.

So I will cautiously tell you not to do those things because I don’t, say yes to those ideas because I know not every idea ends up that way. And I don’t want you to be out $25,000 from crazy marketing ideas. And also I did that and survived. So, and it worked, it didn’t work in the way that it’s like unintentional value, right? I always say the value is none of our business. I said that in the value episode from lessons in 10 years in business.

That’s one of those times where I just decided the impact was none of my business. I just was giving value, giving value, giving value, and it just happened to work out. But I have seen my clients go put down big, giant financial deposits and then lose that money. So I just, I’m cautiously saying go all in with all of your ideas. Start with the ones that don’t cost you a ton of money and just cost you effort. That’s where I would start.

If you’re learning to take yourself seriously, learning to go all in, start with the ones that are free in that you pay in effort. And even with investing, I always tell people, if you have not invested and you don’t have a lot of belief in yourself as an investor and you don’t really know where to start, start with something inexpensive, start with something that is affordable for you.

Like for me, I offer now the Entrepreneur Coach Membership, you can start for $297 a month or 2k for 2k, it’s $2,000. And that’s not like dropping $10,000 on a one-on-one coach or dropping $20,000 maybe on a certification. Like start small, build up your belief in yourself, and then maybe invest bigger amounts.

So, if you’re going all in, and my definition is every idea of massive action from belief that your brain offers you, going out and taking action on, do that with the ideas it offers you that require energy and effort. And then, once you act upon those, you’re going to start building up your belief in taking yourself seriously, and it’s going to be easier to action on the ideas that cost you money.

So, like one idea that my team just had was to get on the ground up of a new marketing thing. And I’m not going to even say it on the podcast because I want to spend my money and risk my money first before I tell you to risk your money. But it’s like we would be getting in on the ground up. There’s no idea how it’s going to work. We would definitely be the test subjects and spending money as the test subject. And I was like, “This sounds really fun. We should do it.”

So, I have a lot of trust to be able to do things like that because I also take my ideas on my on effort and energy. I say yes to those, too. I remember I had an idea, there was one launch for 200k where the idea was like launch a, do two podcasts a week for x amount of weeks, and one’s going to be a teaching one and one’s going to be an interview. And I actioned on that, right? That’s another energy idea.

So, I think notice how often you have ideas and your brain talks you out of them. That’s not being all in. All in is my brain offers me ideas and instead of talking myself out of them, I talk myself into them.

Okay, my second definition of being all in is no longer entertaining the option to quit. And I think this looks differently for everybody. This is a different experience for everyone. It can mean a lot of different things. So, it could be no longer entertaining the option to quit your business. It could mean no longer entertaining the option to quit your price. It could be no longer entertaining the option to move back your launch.

That’s something I teach to my 2 Million Dollar Group students is if you want to start really like being all in and deciding to be a millionaire or to make seven figures, to make eight figures, one of the things is you’ve got to start taking yourself seriously with how, if you want to have, say, an audience of 100,000 people, you should start acting like you have an audience of 100,000 people.

So for me, if we tell people we’re launching on a certain date, we’re never going back on that word. Like we’re launching on that date. And I take it seriously because I believe 100,000 people are listening. So if 100,000 people are listening, I’m not going to be like, “Well, well, I mean, I didn’t get all the work done, so we’ll just like push it back a week.” And there’s a lot of pushing back that happens at the six-figure and multiple six-figure level that I don’t see happening with millionaires. And so I teach them not to push their launches back. So that means you have to have your stuff done ahead of time. You have to account for emergencies that could come up or illness or you have to get it done no matter what.

And so that’s another option, that’s another way to no longer entertain the option to quit is not entertaining the option to not do something you’ve said you’re going to do. That’s a version of quitting when you entertain that. Tony Robbins calls it burning the boats, right? If you’re going to an island and you want to make, I don’t actually remember how he explains it, but it’s like if you want to go to an island and create life there and you want it to be successful, you got to burn the boats that take you home.

And so for me, this was also really powerful when I had children, and my brain was like, “Maybe you’ll be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you will retire and just be with your kids. Maybe you’ll retire forever. Maybe you’ll retire for a few years, and you’ll come back.” And I went through a lot of back and forth like that for a year. And then when I decided that’s not an option, I never let myself think about it again.

When you entertain the option to quit, but you tell yourself you’re all in, there is energy with that. When there is a possibility of an out, it’s sucking your energy. Every time you think you might quit, every time you talk about quitting, every time you talk about any version of like, “I might quit,” your energy isn’t all in. And then I want you to imagine that you’re selling to people who their version of all in is paying you money, taking money out of their pocketbooks to pay you.

So if you’re thinking of quitting, you can’t expect them to be like, “All right, I’m dropping $5k. Let’s go.” It’s an incongruency. You will never have a clientele that pay you if you’re thinking, “Well, maybe I will let people pay me, maybe I won’t let people pay me. Maybe I’ll stay in business, maybe I won’t stay in business.” Any of that energy clogs up you being 100% all in and being the coach that those people are going to be 100% all in with and pay.

You’ve got to stop entertaining the option to quit. You’re either quitting or you’re not. And if you’re not, don’t ever let yourself go there again. It’s truly emotional immaturity. It’s entrepreneurial immaturity to be like, “I’m going to quit because I had a bad day.”

Now, some days you really do have a bad day, and your brain is like—and your soul feels like—”I’m going to shut down.” If that is you, you’ve got to see what that’s about. And you’ve got to decide, “Okay, this is my level of hard. This is my grand obstacle. This is my immovable thing that is going to challenge me and try to get my brain to quit on. And this is my capacity, my threshold for my ability to handle hard. And I’ve got to decide if I’m going to break through that.

I can’t be like, ‘Maybe I’ll break through that, maybe I won’t. I’ll see if I can break through that,’ because you’ll never take the massive action from belief in all the ideas and all the effort that your brain tells you to do and go action upon that if you’re like, ‘Well, maybe I will end up not doing this thing. Maybe I will quit. Maybe I won’t be successful with this thing that I’m trying. Maybe I won’t learn all the things I need to learn. Maybe I won’t have the breakthrough.'”

Right? If you’re giving your brain the option to quit or breakthrough, it’s going to quit. It’s not going to break through. I have an entire episode planned on that, just the idea of quitting or breaking through. But from this moment on, if you really want to be all in, you can’t entertain any option other than breaking through, any option other than figuring out how to make it work, any option that isn’t you succeeding. Right? All in is I have decided the only option is I break through, I figure it out, I succeed. That is all in. Anything other than that, I can’t tell myself, I can’t lie and say I’m all in anymore.

And then I have to know any results I’m creating could be that I don’t want, could be because I’m not all in. Like, we don’t create massive results that we want. We don’t create results that blow our minds from not being all in. That’s where you start hoping. Like, “I hope magically clients will start showing up. I hope magically somehow the universe will send me success.” That’s how we think when we’re like, “Well, I want this result desperately, but also I’m not all in, and I’m just hoping it works out for me. And then maybe I’ll be all in if it works out for me.” Like that, there’s a thinking that happens here when we entertain options that aren’t, “I see it all the way through, I keep going until I succeed, I break through, I create the result I want.” Anything other than that, it’s probably why you’re not creating the result you want.

I also believe that all in is being truly all in with the result that you want, working to create it, without condition on how much time that it takes to create the result you want or how many attempts it requires before you succeed. So, for example, I had a client who wanted to do group coaching. And I think she launched four times and had zeros every time, or one person or two people, like very unsuccessfully launching many times in a row, and she kept evaluating and she kept going and then she had a $50,000 month and finally got people enrolled in her group. I don’t remember how many people it was, but it was like it was a success.

That is deciding it doesn’t matter that I failed four times in a row. It doesn’t matter that I failed eight times in a row. I had a client that came and was unsuccessful in business for 10 years, and then came and found me and started working with me and created a $2 million business within two years. She’d been doing most of the right things, but things didn’t 100% click. And then once they did, the success came rolling.

But you really have to decide, all in is it doesn’t matter how long it takes and it doesn’t matter how many times I fail, I will create this result. I am committed to this result. 

I tell people all the time I have a goal to make $15 million in one year. And I was on track for that the year I had my son and became a mom. We had $8 million cash in the bank halfway through the year, like in June. So we were on track for $16 million. And then we didn’t create $16 million, we created $12 million, and I’ve never been able to get there since. That was four years ago, I believe. And now it’s in my three-year plan.

So it could mean that it takes me—if I accomplish it at the end of my three-year plan, that means it will have taken me seven—the year I, from the year I was on track to actually accomplishing it, seven years. Who cares? If I learn how to make $15 million from here on out and I create a $15 million asset, I’m in it. I’m in it to win it.

But I watch people be like, “Oh, well, I’ve been trying it. I’ve been at 100k for three years. So it’s clear I’m not able to do it.” Like, what? I would never tell myself that. But because I’m all in, without condition for how long it takes and for how without condition of how many attempts it requires before I succeed, like how many failed attempts have to happen before I succeed.

I believe all in is also being invested both financially and with time and energy. So, for me, that means, I wanted to create a million dollars. And in order to do my Million Dollar Mentorship and keep up with how much I had to catch up to all the other people in the room that were much further ahead, I did the Million Dollar Group, I did Master Coach Training, and I did a 100k group to catch up on any of the little things I missed along the way. I was making—I made $800,000 that year, $860,000. And still there were things I missed along the journey to making that I—I had—I’m really good at sales, so I was able to just sell my way to $800k. And I didn’t have to have—I didn’t have to know how to edit my website or know how to send an email. There were just things along the way that I didn’t have to know how to do.

And so I went back, and I took that group to figure out how to do it. It was like whatever it takes, without ego, I will figure it out. So for you, that might be, “I want to make a million dollars, but I still haven’t mastered consults.” So even though I’m making $500k, I’m going to go take 2k and humble myself. I’m going to be willing to do the thing that I need to do.

Maybe it’s, “Hey, I’d love to have mentorship that costs $100,000 a year, and I believe that I’m at that level because I’m making millions, but I am not willing to pay $100k yet. So I’m going to humble myself and go into a group coaching and get coached there.” Like I’ve seen people come into my rooms that are not willing to enroll in 2 Million Dollar Group, but then they’re not willing to get coached in a 200k room. Like, what’s that about? That’s ego. 

Right? You’ve got to be—so really what I want to say is being invested both financially, with time and energy, and with emotional risk, like being willing to set your ego down and do whatever you need to do, like invest in the things you need to invest in. Like someone emailed us during the Entrepreneur Coach Membership and they said, “I’m starting my business. Should I do ECM or should I do 2k for 2k?” And I’m like, “Do both.”

And literally think about, yes, I understand there’s finances, and also I had to come up with every dollar I spent early on in my business. It wasn’t like I had money readily around. No, I decided I need these investments, and I’ve invested in multiple things early on in my business and then I said, “How do I come up with this money?” I sold things, I worked extra hours, I took money from my retirement. Like to me, that was all in. Like whatever I need to get to become the version of me who sells life coaching and gets clients, I’m willing to do that. Without ego, putting all my chips on the table.

Literally, I cashed out my IRA. That was all in. Like all my money chips on the table, all of my time and energy chips on the table. I was coaching people for free before I went to go pitch in Walmart, during my lunch hour, after I got done with work at night, on the weekends. Like that was my time and energy.

So I think a lot of times we hold back because we’re like, “I don’t want to give my money. I don’t want to give my time and energy unless I know it’s going to pay off.” Or, “I’ve done things in the past, and it hasn’t paid off.” And that is sometimes the worst thing that can happen is you do things in the past, you invest your money financially, you invest your time, you invest your energy, but you weren’t all in. Then you get a result, and you’re like, “Well, I spent all this money, but I didn’t create the result. I spent all this money, and I didn’t show up to the container. I spent all this mone,y and I didn’t follow the process. I spent all this money and I followed the process, and it didn’t work for me.” But maybe you didn’t evaluate the whole time you were following the process.

So you’ve got to find all of the ways that you weren’t actually all in. If you think you were all in and it didn’t work out for you and you’re using that to not give more time, energy, or money to your dreams, I was just coaching someone today in the ECM and I was telling her, I was like, “The most painful place to be is not following through on your own ambition.” Like she was like, “I love my life. That makes it hard for me to like do the hard things to grow my business because I feel like my life is so amazing now.”

And I said, “Yeah, but you have unrealized ambition. So you’re like trying things, you keep showing up, you keep investing in yourself, you keep trying, you keep trying to sell things and putting things out there into the world, but you’re not actually all in, and so you’re not realizing the ambition you have, but you keep sort of trying for that ambition.”

That’s the worst place to be. It’s the middle. It’s like your toe is in. If the water’s super cold, the best thing you could do is jump right in. We all know this and yet we still tiptoe in. But you could be swimming so much faster if you adjust to the water quicker because you’re willing to just dive in and get your head wet. Putting your toe in and then your calf in and then your knee in and then you’re getting to the stomach part and then you’re like, “Oh my God, it’s so cold.” Like that’s, yeah, it’s miserable. And then you imagine it’s always going to be that way versus if you just dive in, you’re like, “Oh, it gets better.” You adjust.

So you’ve got to be all in, invested both financially, with time, and with energy.

I actually want to shout out one of my clients. I was thinking about this episode and then I read this post in 2k, and I’m not going to read the whole thin,g but I want to read some of it and just shout my client out. So, shout out to Sonia Flores in 2k for 2k.

She said, “Today I did my first consult using Stacey’s method. I signed up on Black Friday. First, I want to start by saying that as soon as I started listening to the modules, my confidence and belief in what I offer started growing. I decided to run an email campaign in January to promote one-on-one coaching. I wrote about 10 emails and scheduled them all for January, and then I just let it go. Didn’t even share on social media. Continued listening through all the modules and got through them all twice. Printed the workbook. Someone scheduled a consultation from the email campaign, and it took place today. It worked. I made my money back already. This process felt so beautifully aligned. I’m looking forward to doing more consultations. It was actually so fun. Thank you, Stacey, for this amazing body of work. I joined the membership, and I can’t wait to get there and started learning and applying the teachings.”

When I read this, I was like, this person is all in. You can hear all the things just so far that I’ve talked about the definitions of all in. She invested in herself twice, 2k and the ECM membership. Then she listened to the modules. She went back and listened to them again. She did them twice. Her brain gave her an idea to run an email campaign and promote one-on-one coaching and she did it. She wrote 10 emails for it. She printed the workbook. She didn’t just read the workbook. She went out and printed the workbook.

Right? This is, this is 100% all in energy. I’m doing all the things, not just one thing that might work for me. I’m doing the things. Now, there is a little caveat on this. Some of y’all will just, we talked about this in ROI, some of you will just buy everything and just keep buying things, and you tell yourself all in. The use of this example with Sonia being all in is if you pay attention, she printed the workbook, she went through the modules twice, she did the program, then she acted upon suggestions, she acted upon her brain’s ideas, she took action, she integrated the work.

There’s no way you don’t get results when you go through the process twice, when you print out the workbook, when you do everything it suggests, when you actually take action on the ideas. There’s no way you don’t get the result. And when you’re doing that, it does slow you down from buying all of the things, right? You’re not like, “I just bought 10 things all at once.” No, she bought two things that would both really serve her. She bought things that taught, she bought the thing that taught her how to sell, and then she bought the thing that teaches her how to think and expand her capacity as an entrepreneur. Right?

I would say those are the two very important things. Right? Maybe I don’t know if she ever did coach training, but I’ve said before that I think that the top three investments you should make early on in your business are learning how to coach if you don’t already feel confident in that, and in your business, and in your own brain. 

And at the time, the only way to do that was through one-on-one coaching. I didn’t know of a way to really, at the time of recording, I didn’t know ways that you could do that. Then there were other programs that popped up that helped you learn how to coach yourself. And now I have something that helps you also manage your brain while you are building your business.

So there are other ways, there are lots of ways that you can do it, but it’s like what is it that you need, and then how do you get yourself that immediately? Then, when you get that for yourself, using that all in, all of your energy, all of your ideas, actually doing the work, so that you see what it’s like to create a result from being all in. Most of you do not know how to create a result from being all in. You know what it’s like to create results that you… not create results from not being all in.

And so for you, I want you to just if you’re if this is landing for you, if this is the message you needed to hear, if this is the lesson that was meant for you, know for me, I’m going to try, I want to know what all in feels like so I know what not all in feels like. And I’m going to keep testing that, and I’m going to go for that for the sake of at least, like, for me, if I’m not going to create a result, I want to at least believe or know that I was all in and I didn’t create that result. Like I would rather be like, “I went all in, and I didn’t create the result,” than, “I didn’t create the result, but I didn’t go all in.”

Because one shows me such different information about myself. Okay, we went all in, but we didn’t create the result. So here are our theories for what happened that are much better problems to solve, much higher problems to solve, and typically not problems that are like, “Well, I didn’t go all in.” To me, that’s a low-level problem. That’s a low-value cycle. And we all have to figure out how to solve that first before we get to the high-level problems, right? So it’s not a judgment. I had to solve that too. I had to solve my ability to go all in and learn that as the barrier to get to those higher-level problems to solve.

So, when you theorize what was it, if one of them is, “I wasn’t all in,” we got to solve that quick. So then that’s not the thing. Oh, I was all in. So now we need to figure out what this is. Now, I will also say I think there are levels to being all in. So we’ll talk about that in a second.

But the next all in, my next definition for this is being willing to question how you see the world. This one’s really challenging. It’s the most challenging. You want to make a million dollars, you’re going to have to be willing to question everything about the way you see the world. 

I have found that this is a specific, I believe this at the beginning too, but I just feel like I find this more in my millionaire room, where I have a perspective that I don’t even share out into the world. I don’t share it with my 2k students, I don’t share it with my 200k students, I don’t share it in my marketing, because it’s so hard for people to get on my level and understand my perspective, because I am at the top of Mount Everest and they’re at the bottom.

And they can’t imagine what I’m describing to them because they’ve never been to the top. They’ve never had an audience of 100,000 people. They’ve never sold $45 million of coaching. They’ve never delivered that amount of coaching. They haven’t created containers where their clients are creating predictable, provable results backed by data.

So, I have such a big perspective, literally, the top of the mountain. And it’s very, very hard for people to sometimes for me, to say the things and try to explain to them the things that I see are about. So maybe, I always call it step in shit, but they’re about to step in shit for themselves. Maybe it’s for their offer, maybe it’s for messaging, maybe it’s for the way they show up for their as a leader. And their ego is so used to telling themselves they know everything at the multiple six-figure level, their ego doesn’t want to let go. Their ego doesn’t want to let go of the way they see the world. Their ego doesn’t want to let go of their philosophies. Their ego doesn’t want to let go of what the moral high ground that they stand on.

And yet, they really want my perspective because they want my results. Actually, sometimes they want my results, and they don’t want my perspective because it’s so confronting to what their current perspective is. You have to be willing to die a thousand deaths, a thousand ego deaths to create the new version of you that has the results that you want.

That is all in is being willing to question how you see everything, what you believe about business, what you believe about your strategy for success, what you believe. I have people that come to me and they’re like, “I want to make a million dollars, but I can’t stay with a scalable offer long enough to make a million dollars.” And I’m like, “Well, you’re going to have to question everything about how you operate in the world. If you want to make a million dollars, you’re going to need to stick with something long enough to bring it to a million dollars.”

There are so many different things. There are so many different things in leadership where I’m like, “God, I wish you I could just help you understand my perspective that is not, it might feel limiting, but it’s actually very expansive because of how much experience I have over 10 years.” I just remember so many times in my 10 years where I had to die in ego’s death and see the world differently than I saw it. Like one example is when I was selling $36,000 one-on-one coaching and my coach was like, “Yeah, now we’re going to sell a $2,000 program.”

My husband talked about this in his vows, in his wedding vows. He was like, “I remember.” He was talking about how proud he was of me, but he was like, “I remember when Brooke told you to sell a $2,000 program, and you were selling $36,000 coaching, and I was like, ‘This is a terrible idea. This makes no sense.'” But I was willing to believe she knew more than I did.

And there are so many examples of this. I could do an entire podcast on just examples of this, of times where I was like, “Well, I believe this. I see it this way.” I remember even recently, I made a post and I lost a bunch of followers, and I was so confused by it. I was like, “How is this possible?” And I ran it by my coach, and my coach was like, “Well, this is how I read it.” And I was like, “Wait, that’s not even remotely what I was saying. Like that’s not fair. Like I can’t be responsible for how other people read it.” And she’s like, “But this is how I saw it.” And I was like, “But that’s not how I was, that’s not it.” And she was like, “But you have to see it that way. Like this is how we learn, we put our leadership messages out in the world. And when people don’t understand it, then we have to rethink how we said it and what it means and how people can take certain things.” You have to die a thousand ego deaths. You can be right, or you can be incredibly rich.

That is the option. So you have to be really willing to see things differently than you have seen them before.

All right, the next version, the next definition of all in is being all in for the work and the hard parts. A lot of people want to win. A lot of people don’t want to play, right? I’ve been teaching my son this. He’s almost four. And he wants to play as long as he wins. He’s not all in for the win.

And, you know, listen, think what you want. If I have the ability to nudge him to win, I do. I don’t need to win at Shoots and Ladders or Candyland, right? There have been times where I’ve pulled the peppermint and I’ve put it back in the bag, and before he saw and pulled out a lesser card because I don’t want to pass him up and win. It’s okay. My husband, on the other hand, is like win at all costs, they’ve got to learn how to lose.

But one of the things that I have been helping my son is when I know someone’s about to win and he’s about to lose, I’m I start talking to him about playing the game and like you’ve got to be down to play the game and realize sometimes you’re going to lose and you’ve got to, let’s start prepping for your emotions and like are you, let’s work on this outburst here. Like, we’re not going to have an outburst every time we play or no one’s ever going to want to play with you. But I really have been thinking about this a lot. A lot of people want to win, they don’t necessarily want to play if they’re not going to win. You’ve got to want to win and want to play, knowing you might lose.

I also heard this recently that people will be jealous of… I think Taylor Swift said this. I can’t remember where someone said this. I think it was in the Taylor Swift documentary, that people will be jealous of your results but not what you had to do to get them. Yes. You can’t be all in for the result and only the result. You have to be all in for the process. 

So all in is like I enjoy this process of failing. I enjoy this process of troubleshooting the launch. I enjoy this process of figuring out how to actually create a new belief. I enjoy the process of expanding my capacity. I enjoy the process of figuring out how to balance my life with entrepreneurship. I enjoy the process of figuring out how to balance my six-figure business with wanting to grow my seven-figure business. I enjoy the process of working full-time, building my business, and trying to figure out how to get clients. You have to find a way, you have to find a set of thinking and a way to experience the process that also brings, ignites you, and brings you aliveness, or you’ll never make it to the other side.

Okay, two more. The next one is being all in for seeing where improvements can be made and making them. And this is hard when it feels like there’s a lot of improvements to make, when it feels like making them is going to require a lot of effort. You got to be all in for that. You got to be constantly looking for where you can improve.

Someone asked me today on the first Balance call, we talked about imbalance, and I taught on that, and then I did some coaching and some Q&A. And one of the students said, I can’t remember her exact question, but it was basically like, from the place that you’re at now, do you still continue to see improvements? And I was like, “Yes, 100%.” Like, oh, she said, “Do you feel like you have capacity to grow even more and be even more balanced?” something like that. And I was like, “100%.”

I said, “I use Tony Robbins as an example quite a bit because I know that he, although I don’t follow his work as closely anymore, I know that he sits on the boards of multiple companies. I know that he advises very successful people very closely. I know that he coaches millions of people. I know that he has a young child at home.” The type of life he’s living is a much bigger life than I’m living. And he’s a human. So if he has the ability, I have to have the ability.

So what is he know? What is he doing? How does he operate that I don’t? How much energy does he have? How’s he producing that energy that I don’t have? I don’t use that against myself. I use it to inspire myself that there’s got to be more capacity. There’s got to be more available to live and to do and to be and to, you know, more skills to create, more capacity to engage with, more energy, a higher level thinking, a higher level of emotional intelligence. There has to be more.

It wouldn’t be useful for me to think I’ve reached the top of what’s possible and what I’m capable of. Like that sucks. And life is over. We’re just coasting from here on out. We’re shutting down, we’re not growing anymore. We’re not using our brain to solve problems anymore. Like we’re decided that this is the only station in life we’ll ever live. There’s not a bigger life available to us.

I asked someone, or I was telling someone a story about how my coach asked me once to rate my life on a scale of one to 10, and my husband and I both said it was an eight. Like we love our lives. And she was like, “What if you think it’s an eight, but it’s actually a two because there’s so much more available to you. There’s so much more possibility for you in your relationship, in your money, in your life experience, in your enjoyment, in your health, in your wellness?” Like what if it’s a two instead of a 10? Like, what if so much more is possible? So I’m all in for seeing the improvements that can be made and then going out and making them.

And then finally, all in is also being all in to be a leader, a coach, and an entrepreneur. Some of you are all in for coaching, and you’re not all in for entrepreneurship. Some of you are all in for entrepreneurship and coaching, but you’re not all in to be a leader. No matter what you coach on, all three are required. If you are coaching even one person, it means you’re leading them. It doesn’t matter what they hire you for. It means they hired you because they see you as someone who has more than they have or has what they want that they don’t yet have. So you are a leader for them.

So being all in with being a leader, a coach, and an entrepreneur, like check in with how you show up when you’re not all in with one of those things. That might be all in to do all the coach trainings ever available and all the advanced certifications and all of the coachy-type things, but you don’t actually do the work to work on entrepreneurship.

That could be, “I’m all in to sell and make money, but I’m not giving myself a lot of, I’m not figuring out where I’m not in integrity with where my leadership and my coaching is. I’m telling other people to do things, and I’m not following suit. But I’m really great at marketing and sales.”

It could be, “I’m really great at marketing and sales, and I love to learn about entrepreneurship, and I love to learn about coaching, but I don’t consider myself a leader, and I don’t think about the impact of my words and my behavior. And I don’t think about where I’m leading people and all of the people within my world and how everything I say impacts all the different people that follow me.”

All in is I’m all in for a leader being a leader, a coach, and an entrepreneur because that’s not my opinion, that is what you are, even if you lead one person. It also means I don’t tell myself, I try not to tell myself, and I stop myself if I do to say, “That’s not fair.” It’s like my son goes, “Hey, no fair,” every time he loses and I’m like, “What’s actually fair is that you don’t win all the time.” Right? If you are a leader, it’s not fair to the people who pay you if you’re never losing but you’re going to you’re going to sign them up for failing, right?

Anytime they want to grow, they’re going to have to fail in order to grow. So it’s so fair to the people who pay you for you to have the level of experience they expect, which means if you’re going to walk them through failure, it means you’ve failed a lot. It is fair. Your challenges, your obstacles, your immovable things are 100% fair. Your version of hard is fair. It’s fair so that it makes the value exchange from client to coach congruent. You have moved immovable things, and now you’re going to help them do it as well.

All right, y’all. Those are all of my definitions of all in: Taking action on every massive action idea from belief. No longer entertaining the option to quit or push back. Being all in without condition for how long it takes and how many attempts that you give to succeed. Being all in financially, being all in with time, being all in with energy. Being willing to question how you see the world and die a million, a hundred million, however many it requires, ego deaths to bring out the new version of you who has the results you want. Being all in for the work and the hard parts. Being all in for where you can see improvements and then going out and making them. And then being all in for all three jobs you’ve signed up for, the leader, the coach, and the entrepreneur, and actually, as you make more money, the manager.

All right. I love you all. Have an amazing rest of your week. I hope this was so helpful to help you clear up what all in is and just know there is always a new version of all in for you for your next level results. All right, I’ll talk to you next week.

Hey, if you’re ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2k for 2k program; where you’re going to make your first $2,000 the hardest part using my simple five-step formula for getting consults and closing new clients. Just head over to StaceyBoehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.