Ep #13: Clean Selling

 In Podcast

This week’s topic is something I am so passionate about, and it’s something that’s been on my mind and that I’ve been creating intensively for the last six months. The concept of clean selling goes hand in hand with last week’s episode on organic marketing, and mastering this process is going to make you the most money as a coach.

I’ll be linking up the two concepts today to show you why practicing both of these is so crucial to growing your business and making money. Clean selling can be achieved by following the five steps I lay out in this episode, and to make things even clearer, I’ll be outlining what you might be doing that is keeping you from mastering this process.

I’m so excited to be sharing this tool today because I know it is going to change your life and business so drastically! I want you to be a coach with full control to show your client the power of their mind and the power of coaching, and doing this in the right energy is key to getting your clients the results they want!

If you’re ready to start making money as a life coach, you need to join my 2K for 2K program! It’s risk-free. You either make your first 2K, or I give you your 2K back. See you there! 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How to use organic marketing as a measurement of how much you’re serving.
  • The fastest way to grow your business through organic marketing.
  • What clean selling means.
  • How to nail a consultation with your client.
  • What muddied selling looks like.
  • The 5 steps of clean selling that will make you a powerful coach.
  • What keeps you from mastering these five steps.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach podcast, where sales expert and life coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula. Let’s get started.

Hey everybody. What is up? How are you this week? Welcome to episode 13. We’re going to be talking about clean selling. Are you ready? I spent so much time – I’ve actually been developing this concept for roughly the last four years. But it’s really been in my brain the last six months and I’m in master coach training, and part of my master coach training is developing concepts and really becoming a thought leader and introducing new ideas into the world.

And I feel like this is something that is missing from the world completely when it comes to sales. I think it is different than anything that anybody is teaching this concept and I also think it makes you the most powerful salesperson and the most powerful coach you can be in the entire world when you really get this concept. So I’m so excited to talk about it today. I feel so passionately about it.

But first, I have to give a shout-out to my client Maggie. She said on our 2K for 2K page, “PSA, do good deed. I mean, we all do, right? But keep doing them. A friend of my sister’s lost her job and was doing all the wrong things. I used to be a recruiter and actually did continuing education on leadership and job search coaching even though it isn’t my niche right now. Now I help women have better marriages. So I offered my friend’s sister a free call. She had the call months ago and that was that. A week ago, that person referred a friend of hers to call me. We had our call today and she just signed up for three months of job search coaching for $2500 and paid in full tonight. Moral of the story, have your niche or don’t, having your niche doesn’t matter. Just do good deeds. Talk to people, help them. They will tell other people. Eventually down that line, people will pay you.”

Yes Maggie. Get so fired up. That is 100% correct. Listen y’all, making money as a life coach can be as simple as doing good deeds all the time, over and over and over. Many of you are asking like truly, if you get honest, really honest, the way that you’re thinking about other people and other potential prospects and people you’re networking with and people you meet, what you’re thinking is like, what can you do for me? How do you become my client?

And instead, ask what can I do for you genuinely from a place of service from my heart? That will make you more money than anything ever. It’s the way I still think about my business right now. What can I do for my clients to create an extraordinary experience for them? I’ve realized one of the values of my business that I truly want to make sure everyone feels on every aspects of working with me, whether they’re working with me as a client or working for me as an employee or even I’ve really expanded this even to now my friends and family.

But I just want everyone to feel like being in my presence is like winning the lottery. And when it comes to my client, that is genuinely what I want people to feel. Above and beyond, all of the time. I never think of my clients of what can you do for me, how can you pay me, and people I meet and people on my email list, I’m never thinking how do I get you to buy from me, how do I get you to become my client, what are you going to do for me.

It’s never that train of thought. It’s always what can I do to really make you feel like you’ve won the lottery. What can I do to go above and beyond? How much can I serve? What value can I bring to you today? That is seriously the secret to making money as a life coach. This is a little bit of a rant. Maggie got me really excited. She’s such an amazing person, by the way. If you haven’t connected with Maggie, you better connect with her. We’ll link you up in the show notes.

But seriously, that is the secret to making money as a coach is always asking what can I do for you? What can I do for you? How can I serve you? What can I give of value to you? Because truly, the amount of money you make is a direct correlation to how much you’re serving and how much value you’re giving and what you’re doing for other people. Reality check on a Wednesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. Whenever you’re listening.

Alright, so let’s dive in. Let’s talk about clean selling. It’s one of my favorite things, I am so passionate about it. I think that my entire 2K program is creating the space for deep mastery of this work that we’re going to talk about today, but I’m creating some new modules for my program and I’m really going to teach step by step what we’re going to talk about today in the program. That’s coming up in the next couple of weeks so I’m super excited.

So I call it clean selling and I think it goes right along with organic marketing. So organic marketing is allowing clients to come to you. It’s being responsible only for how you show up, how you inspire, the value you bring, and the relationships and connections you create. You see how I keep highlighting you because you’re the only person and you’re the only part of the equation that you can control.

And I never want you making your clients responsible for being interested in what you offer and therefore responsible for your financial results. It’s literally just what I was saying about Maggie’s testimonial there is like, what can I do for you and how can I create inspiration and excitement for you to be interested in what I’m saying? Instead of they should be interested, they’re not interested, nobody’s interested. It’s just not useful at all.

So organic marketing is also letting the number of people reaching out to you for consults be the measurement of you showing up and who you’re being. The number of people reaching out to work with you, the number of people paying you, the amount of money you’re making is the measurement of you showing up and who you’re being.

If you’re really being a life coach and you’re really serving and you’re really giving value, your results financially will show that. The demand that you are in will show that. Now listen, don’t get all freaking out on me if you’re new to coaching, if you’re a baby coach. If you’re one of those people, that’s okay. You have to become this. This took me a couple of years to do. Nothing has gone wrong. Let me just say that before we dive in.

Because I think what I’m about to talk about many of you are going to have experienced or you’re doing right now and so I don’t think it’s useful to shame yourself in any way or try to say you’re behind or try to say you’re not good enough or you’re not there yet. None of those things are useful so I want to be super clear. I’m teaching you my mindset of it and what I teach my clients but there is a learning curve. You have to learn to become this way.

Our brains aren’t ever telling us we should focus on other people. Our brain’s job is to only focus on us and be self-serving and be self-focused. So if you’re doing any of these things and you don’t have the measurement for you showing up and who you’re being and being in service and you’re thinking about how you can give value, if your result is zero right now and that’s not happening for you, you’re not a terrible person. You just have to learn this. It’s okay, I promise.

I remember being for eight solid months after I got certified, I was all about me, me, me, what can you do for me, what can you do for me. That was always the track my brain was in because I was in so much lack and so much fear of the money I was – it felt like was just bleeding out of me. I was in so much debt, and then on top of that I was really hustling of like, trying to believe I was worthy of being a life coach and that anyone would take me seriously.

I was really struggling with the way I saw myself and just really was fearing that it wasn’t going to happen for me, like I was never going to make it. So I went through all of this. Before we even dive in, I just want you to know when it comes to organic marketing, when it comes to clean selling, when it comes to me talking about the amount of money you make tells me who you’re being and how you’re showing up and how you’re serving, don’t make that mean gloom and doom and I’m never going to make it and I’m a horrible person and shame on me and I’m only thinking of myself.

That’s not what we’re really doing here and I want just to be super clear that that isn’t what we’re doing. I have so much love for anyone who wants to be a coach and who is trying their best to improve their life and help other people. You are a fucking goddess or god, if you’re a guy. Seriously, I just have to say that. This is totally not in my notes but on a total rant of I just – you’re already being a step above so many things that you could be doing when you’re trying to become better.

So just don’t go down the shame road. Don’t go down the I’m not doing it right and I’m not worthy and I’m not good enough and all the things. You are, my friend. You just have to learn to override your brain’s natural tendency to be self-focused and to be in lack and to be in insufficiency and to be afraid and to do fear-based marketing and selling. That’s really what I’m trying to get you out of with last week’s episode, with this week’s episode is I want to get you out of fear-based marketing and selling.

I have such an aversion to it. I hate it. One of my best friends, I actually had her on the podcast, Lindsay Dotzlaf, her and I talk about it all the time. We’ll just call her and I’m like, “You know what pisses me off?” And she’s like, “I just saw this Facebook post and it really ticked me off.” We’ll just call each other or send each other voicemails and be like, “I just saw this post that someone wrote and like, barf.”

And like, totally with love but also just like, from our hearts, we hate fear-based marketing and selling. We don’t hate the people doing it. We just hate it. We hate that they’re being taught that, and if you’re doing it, we are not mad at you. We’re mad for you that someone taught you that. Let me just be super clear. We’re just like, who the hell is teaching them this shit? That’s the way we talk.

Alright, sorry to be offensive with all the cursing. Let’s talk about it though. Let’s dive in. So I want you to just – let’s do a reset really quick because I really like to think of this podcast as a journey from beginning to end. So I want you to remember that the fastest way to growing your business through organic marketing is to believe that you’re a life coach, to embody that as your identity.

And then the fastest way to do that is in the first three episodes. Meet as many people as possible, tell them who you are and what you do, and be out in the world making offers to help people. And you know what’s so great? People are always like, how do I make offers to help people? If you’re thinking about what value can I give, making offers doesn’t mean getting them on a consult with you.

Making offers to help people is how can I serve you? How can I help you? Who can I connect you with? How can I have a conversation that will be useful and make you think differently in this small moment we have together? How can I support you today? How can I give you a little bit of motivation? How can I offer you something to think that will be useful to you? What can I give to you?

That is actually a great way to be making offers. You can make those all day long to every single person you come across. Okay, so I keep saying this over and over, to meet as many people as possible, tell them you’re a life coach, make offers to help them because I wanted to deeply sink in. And although it’s so simple, I really want you to see how it really is the foundation of everything you will ever do as a coach.

So organic marketing is letting the idea of reaching out, booking a consult, getting more info, and coming to you be your client’s idea. Clean selling is letting the decision to buy be your client’s idea. It’s not influencing their decision with your thoughts and beliefs. And again, I feel super strongly about this. Selling with integrity is one of the most important – I have to say it with really crazy emphasis – important things to me.

It is my passion to teach people that you can sell without lying to your clients, without doing any kind of funny business. And when you sell from a clean way in your mind, the kind that we’re going to talk about today, you will sell more. You will be so much more powerful in your sales conversations.

When we are trying to influence the sale, when we’re trying to get a sale at all, it weakens our power as a coach and as someone to serve. It makes us less effective at helping the person in front of us because when we’re trying to do something, we are thinking about it. When you’re trying to do anything, trying to close the client, trying to make them believe something different, trying to get them to see something, what you’re doing is you’re thinking about what you’re doing.

We are thinking about us when we’re doing that. When you’re filling your brain with things to focus on that aren’t your client, and this is the heart of this message. Clean selling is about thinking about your client and not thinking about yourself.

I want you to imagine that you’re on a consult and you’re worried about what to say next, and you’re not really sure if this person is a great fit for your program, and you’re trying to figure out how you can help them and you’re also starting to panic a bit because you have to get this client. You haven’t signed one yet, or in a really long time. It’s been a very long time since you’ve signed a client.

And this person already has so many problems and they mentioned money already so they probably aren’t going to buy and you’re writing everything down that they’re saying but then what, you’re not really sure, how do you get them to move on and how do you get them out of this victim mentality and how do you get them to move on to the next question that you need to ask because it’s on your paper of all the things you need to do in a consult.

And they’re talking too much and they’re not following your formula and they’re not doing it right as a client and you’re way off track and you’re way over time. While you’re thinking of all of that, you are missing valuable moments to laser in on your client’s problem and their solution. You are missing finding patterns in their behaviors, beliefs they have about the situation that are holding them back. You’re missing that.

The consultation is truly the first opportunity to show your client their mind, to show them the power of our minds and the solution that we can provide through coaching. And you miss this opportunity when your brain is filled with mind chatter. You lose the power to be the person who shows this client the power of coaching and the power of their mind when you’re in your thoughts.

When you are in your thoughts, you aren’t being a coach, and only coaches sign clients. Boom. Mic drop. I really seriously believe one of the greatest selling points of one-on-one coaching, when you think about that, because that’s where I start my clients. I want all of them to do just one-on-one coaching until they make 100K.

That’s probably a topic for a different podcast but I really think the greatest selling points of one-on-one coaching is that the client has an entire hour with the coach or half hour or 45 minutes, whatever the time period is where the coach focuses solely on them and their problems and their dreams to help them figure out their life.

We don’t just get that in this world anywhere. That’s how I used to sell one-on-one coaching. The power of just having someone give you their fully focused sole attention for an hour straight every week. Just that will change your life. So the goal you have as a coach on the phone with your client is to give them your total focus and undivided attention to let them experience what that is really like.

But you can’t do that if your focus is divided and half of it’s on your brain and what you need and where you need to go next in the conversation or even on what you think about the client. But this happens all the time. We do consult evaluations in my 2K community. So they basically do a consult and then I have them evaluate it in a very specific formula, post it in the page, and then I give them coaching on what went wrong and how to fix it.

And one thing that I see a lot and I do recommend by the way if you’re in my 2K program of putting this in your evaluation is the coach will talk about how they get stuck in some mind drama or a lot of it. And if you’re in my 2K program, what I mean is when you say that you got stuck in mind drama, you write down what you were thinking, like what the actual thoughts were, and how much of the call you were in that thought. Get as detailed as possible.

And then they either pull themselves out of it or not. So clean selling is a practice for sure, in presence. It’s a practice in presence. And if you happen to nail the consultation part where you’re able to stay present, which is what coaching is, coaching is being present with your client and only focusing on them and their brain. And if you happen to nail the consultation part of it where I see it get muddied a lot and not be clean is the overcoming objections part of the sales process.

Because the moment your client says no, which they often do, this is what their brain says, nope. That’s just their brain. And so they deliver their reason – this always happens – they deliver it like it’s reporting the news. Like it’s just factual, which is what gets a lot of you and tricks a lot of you and convinces a lot of you to believe their story is that they report it like the news.

Hello, y’all also report it like the news when you come to me as your coach. You report all the things you can’t do too just like the news and none of that’s true either. Side rant. I’m very fired up today. I don’t know what’s going on.

Alright, so they say no and they deliver it like the news, and then you have a reaction to it emotionally. You feel disappointed. You feel surprised, like caught off guard and not in a good way. And you fear going anywhere but okay thanks, have a great day, bye. Like, your judgment becomes really clouded because when your emotions are high, your intelligence is low.

And when this happens, this is usually where people slide out of being a coach who is open, focusing on the client and into a sales conversation, into the person who is convincing, who is trying to get a sale, who is trying to do it right, who is trying to get them from a no to a yes. And of course my coaches will fight to the nail to say they are never in that energy. But I always sniff it out in their consultation evaluations.

You can’t hide it, I promise. If you’re actually giving me information, you can’t hide it. It’s so subtle though, and so I don’t think many of you notice it but I think the first step is to really get aware that it’s happening and how the shift feels. So I’m going to tell you how it feels.

It feels like a leaning in energy. A trying to fix or a control energy. Just that needy, graspy energy and the moment this happens, you have lost your presence with your client. You are no longer sitting with their brain. You are sitting with your brain. You have lost your power as their coach when this happens. You’re no longer clean selling and you’re no longer clean coaching.

Because you can also be not coaching cleanly from all your own beliefs and your own stuff like the moment a client – like for example, this is a great example is muddied selling happens when someone says no and gives you the news like I don’t have any money and then they say it like reporting the news and then you have a reaction is the same as your client tells you her husband cheated on her and got another woman pregnant and you have a very strong reaction to that.

All of a sudden now because you’re reacting to what they’ve said emotionally in your body and brain, you aren’t clean coaching or clean selling because now it’s muddied by your fears and attachments and desires and all your emotions and all your thinking and all your beliefs and all of the things about you, and now it’s no longer about them.

And how you show up on a call, like in that moment even as a coach in that moment when your client comes to you and tells you something that feels like it’s knocked you out of your chair or when they say no and they give this reason that feels very, very serious and true and it’s reporting the news, when that happens, how you show up is going to be directly determined by how you’re thinking and feeling. And how you show up is directly going to determine your result.

When I don’t have a reaction, I’m able to coach hardcore and when I don’t have a reaction to the no, like I’m just still totally present with my client and I’m able to think so clearly, graspy does not lead to powerful coaching. Convincing is not powerful coaching. And remember this; even though you’re talking about money and it’s a selling conversation, the entire conversation you are teaching them what it’s like to deal with a coach, what it’s like to work with a coach and be in the presence of a coach.

This is the time it’s most important to be being a coach. And all that comes with that power, which means being in integrity, being totally with your client, coming from a blank space in your mind, questioning their mind, only thinking about their mind, not your own, saying the hard things, standing for their dreams, addressing their blind spots, coaching them past their limiting thoughts and doing it all for them. Not for you.

If you can do this in a coaching conversation, you can do this in a sales conversation. It’s the same thing. And this, my friends, is clean selling. So I think you have to have five things to be clean selling. I’ve really thought about this. I think there are five steps to it, there are five parts of embodying doing the clean selling, being a person who is clean selling, being a person who is clean coaching.

And I think when you master these five, you will be a powerful force at selling and coaching so here they are. This is how you clean sell. Number one, you have sufficiency. You come to your call with the belief I have everything I need. I’m taken care of in my emotional world, I’m taking care of myself, I’m 100% responsible for myself. In this moment, I have food to eat, water to drink, I’m here, nothing has gone wrong, everything is great. I’m fully sufficient in this moment.

So it requires you to – you can’t be thinking about your credit card statements or the kids that are getting off the bus in a couple of hours or the fight you had with your husband last night or if you’re ever going to make it as a coach. You have to have sufficiency and right now, truly in this moment, I need nothing to be happy and whole and complete and okay. That is sufficiency.

You have to number two, have presence. And presence really is like I am only with this person in front of me and I’m just thinking about them and I’m just focused on them. It’s you thinking about their thoughts, it’s you focused solely on them and literally an earthquake could happen and your conversation isn’t going to get broken because you’re so in it. Someone could call on call waiting and it’s like, you don’t miss a beat because you’re so focused on your client. That’s presence. Like, really being there in the moment for your client.

The third thing is integrity. You have to be living the work. Because here’s what happens. This is the first way – I’m going to go over the steps that are going to keep you from these five things and so you’re going to hear this again in just a second, but what keeps you from living the work and being in integrity on a sales conversation and coaching at your highest capacity and coaching through objections is someone presents something that you haven’t coached yourself on.

And it’s going to knock you out of your seat and you’re going to be confused on what to say and how to handle it and how to coach through it. So the more you coach yourself, the more you’re going to have coaching responses for what people bring to you. My fiancé always jokes like,
I hate having an argument with you, you always have a response,” and the reason why is because I coach myself like crazy.

I am coaching myself all day long and my clients like, they never stump me. It does not matter how intricate or how unique their situation is. I’m never stumped, but the reason is because I’ve coached a ton of people and I’ve coached myself a ton. So I have so much integrity when I go to – I have overcome all of my own objections in my life for everything. Time, money, I’m not a person that can deal with technology I don’t know how to network, I’m not good at making friends, I don’t have the discipline to do this, I’m not intelligent enough.

Like, all of my objections to anything I’ve ever wanted to do I’ve overcome myself. So there’s literally just nothing. Even – this is an interesting one. So I have coached a client of mine hardcore on making decisions for herself that make her husband unhappy. Like, he’s mad about them, he doesn’t like them. The financial decisions she makes, the time decisions she makes. Just all kinds of decisions and he will be very unhappy with them.

And she used to hold herself back because he was going to be unhappy and I was like, so your objection is your husband will be unhappy and you don’t want to sit with his being mad at you, so you just don’t show up. And we worked on it, we worked on it, and when she got to the place where she could sit with him being angry, it’s like she overcame her biggest objection for getting in her own way.

And what’s so fascinating, by the way, with that is now their relationship is totally amazing and now he’s super stoked for all of her decisions. But she stopped trying to control him and manipulate him. And so that’s one of the biggest objections you get on consults is I can’t invest because my husband will say no, he’ll be upset.

But when you’ve coached on like, so what? It’s totally fine that he’s upset. He gets to be mad. You don’t get to just do everything you want to do and he’s happy about it. So when you’ve coached yourself on those situations, like I can do what I want and it’s okay if people are unhappy with it and when you’ve coached your clients, like when people bring that to the consult call, you’re so in integrity, you’re so living the work that it’s easy to overcome that objection.

You don’t even have to process how you would overcome it because you just are so used to overcoming the way that you – overcoming your mind and your own thoughts. So you’ve got to be in integrity. I feel so passionately, I feel like I could do an entire podcast just about that. And I did do it when I talked about a product of your product, but this is huge right here is you’re doing your own work and overcoming your own excuses and your own objections will directly correlate with how often you can overcome others.

So number four is being unattached from the circumstance or outcome. You can’t have any attachment to circumstances in life. For example, someone might stump you when they say, “Well, I would pay for the coaching but I’m about to buy this new house or I’m about to go on this vacation,” those are circumstances. If you don’t feel attached to people having houses or vacations, you won’t be triggered by that. You won’t agree with them.

Or if you’re unattached to the outcome, you’ll coach really hard. If you have no attachment to the person buying and you’re just totally committed, which is number five, when you’re totally committed to serving your client and having them leave with a transformation, you will coach them so hard because you’re not attached to them saying yes or no, them buying or not. You’re just being a coach and you’re just showing up like a coach does and showing them their mind.

And when you’re unattached – this is the thing that has to happen for you to be unattached is you have to really understand that you don’t know what’s best for your client. So you’re just coaching them and showing them their mind and showing them what their mind is doing but you’re not doing it from a place of you think they should be thinking this way or they should be thinking that way. And you have to have a complete willingness to release the reins.

Some of my clients really struggle in the beginning with understanding the difference between coaching hard and pushing and they don’t want to push, but I’m always coming from a place of I’m going to go all in with my coaching with you but I’m going to release the reins the moment I don’t think you want it. The moment it isn’t your idea anymore.

Think about that. The moment buying isn’t your client’s idea anymore, the moment getting coached isn’t your client’s idea anymore, you just let it go. It’s not a big deal. I’m not attached to the outcome. You don’t need to buy coaching from me. You don’t need to coach at all. But if you want to, I’m going to coach really powerful for you.

And here’s what I will say. In my 2K program, I teach how to do consults and how to ask questions every step of the way to get your client’s buy in so that you know how to push or not, so that you get their buy in of whether they want to keep coaching or not and whether they want their mind to be explored on the topic of saying yes or on. There are very specific ways you can navigate that conversation.

I have a workbook that I give lots of examples of how I navigate this conversation, but at the end of the day, I just want you to think of this in the most simplistic way so whether you’re in the program or not you can apply this is you just have to be totally – you’re only serving for them. Everything you do is only for them, so the moment it stops being for them because of their resistance or reaction or because they just don’t want it, you just release the reins. No big deal. No problem.

Okay, so number five is commitment to serving your client and having them leave with a transformation, which is what I really just talked about there. I’m willing to risk the relationship, I’m willing to say the hard thing, I’m willing to call my client on their bullshit. I hope we have no kids listening to this. I just realized some of my clients tell me their kids listen to this. I’ll try to clean it up.

But that’s really what it is. I’m just willing to risk it for my client. I’m willing to have them be mad at me, I’m willing to have them hate me, I’m willing for them to not buy from me because they’re so mad. I’m willing to risk the relationship.

Now, I’m not saying I trigger my clients like this on a daily basis or every consult call. So I also don’t want you to be thinking that consultation calls are going to be like, extremely combative and argumentative. They’re totally not. And they’re not even going to be confrontational. It’s just I’m willing to go there if I need to. I’m willing to do that. I’m willing to go all in.

So I’ll give you a quick story on this. I actually had a client that works with me now and is killing it, but she came to me and we did a consult for my 200K mastermind and at the end she said, “Well, I really love everything we’ve talked about. I just want to let you know my husband and I did decide we’re a no before we got on the call today.”

And for a moment I was a little shocked and confused because the call had been so amazing. I knew exactly how I could help her, and I had this thought in my brain like, “I have to point that out and I cannot believe – what just happened?” And then I was like no, you shouldn’t do that, it’s a consult, you’re not her coach. And then I was like, wait a minute, she came to me to know what coaching with me would be like.

And so I said – I literally let it all come out and I said, “Wait a minute, hold on for a second. You came to a call knowing that you were a no? Why did you come to the call?” and then she told me, “I just hoped you were going to say one thing that would help me really get started,” and I said “Yes, so how many of your clients are doing that? How many of your clients think you’re going to solve their whole life in one consultation session? How often is this coming up for you in your consults?”

And she was like, “All the time.” And I coached her so hard and literally I think she emailed me later and was like, I just went to my bed and cried my eyes out. She didn’t say yes but you know what, it changed her life and then she got out and she busted her ass and she made $10,000 and she joined the 200K mastermind and now she’s making more money than she’s ever made and she’s doing the deepest work she’s ever done and she’s working to become the best coach she’s ever become, all because I was willing to risk the relationship.

And the reason I was willing to risk it wasn’t for the sale. Let me be clear. It was for the transformation. My commitment when someone gets on a call with me, even if it’s a consult is we’re going in for the transformation. So here are those five steps again. Having sufficiency, presence, integrity, being unattached from the circumstance that they will you about or the outcome of them buying, and a commitment to serving your client and leaving with a transformation.

We’re going to wrap it up here with what keeps you from achieving these five things are the opposites of those. So what keeps you from it is lack and fear. Having your needs that you’re trying to meet on a consult. Trying to feel like you’re – trying to get your need of believing you can become a coach by having signed a client be what you’re doing on the consult.

Like, if they sign I’ll be able to tell myself I’m a coach, I’ll be able to believe I can do it, if they sign I’ll finally have made my 2K back, for my 2K people. If they sign, it’ll mean something about me or give me something or be something I need. Like their signing is something I need.

Number two is mind chatter. Being with your brain more than their brain. And how you know this is just you’ll be able to look back and you’ll be able to say, was I with them or was I with myself? And if you were with yourself, you’ve got to really figure out exactly what you were thinking on that call and then you got to go get coached on it.

Number three is inconsistent belief in results. When you’re still trying to grapple with what being a coach is and what all of that is about and when you’re still trying to get your own results and you don’t still fully believe that your thoughts create your results and you’re still trying to create results from your thoughts and you avoid your business half the week and you spin our in confusion and overwhelm and you’re not really doing the work and you’re self-coaching a lot but it’s not actually producing you changing and shifting in your belief, I have been teaching my clients a lot of this in my 200K mastermind.

We’ve been doing deep work on what self-coaching actually is and what it’s like to actually sit down, coach yourself, or get coached by a peer or your own mindset coach, but to get coached and then actually shit and believe something different is different than spinning in self-coaching and to just self-coach all day and not changing anything.

So when you’re in that place of inconsistent belief in result, when you’re in that place of believing all your excuses and all your reasons why you can’t invest in yourself for your business, you’re going to come up against it and you’re not going to be able to overcome it. I will actually say really quick as a quick note, the biggest reason I think that coaches don’t make money is because they aren’t investing in themselves enough.

They’ll invest once, like a really big investment for a coach training or a fancy business coach, these are the things I hear, and then they think that was enough, they’re done, they got to make that investment work and they’re not investing in themselves. They’re not living and breathing the investment. They’re not showing up and constantly reinvesting in themselves with coaching, believing it is the answer.

So when you’re not doing your own work and you’re not getting your mind cleaned out every week with a coach, how can you even sell the value of that to somebody else because you don’t believe in the value? Because you don’t – when coaches come to me and they tell me that money is the reason they can’t invest, seriously think about that. And then you’re going to get on a sales call with somebody else and tell them they should be able to find a way and figure out a way to find the money to invest with you. It’s totally out of integrity.

You can’t even coach on that. How do you coach on that when you are telling yourself you don’t have the money? You’re asking them to do something you’re not wiling to do. So that’s the biggest thing that’s going to keep you from being able to be clean in your selling and your coaching is that you’re not living the belief of that and you’re asking someone to do something that you’re not willing to do.

So number four is being attached to the outcome. For you or for them. Sometimes this is tricky. You get very invested in them getting results because they’re so amazing and they could totally do it, you can totally believe in them and you can just see them and how perfect their life will be and how amazing everything will be and you’re just wanting them to be your client so hard because they’re so amazing.

That’s all trying and convincing and that’s all about you and it’s being really attached to the outcome and you’re going to miss stuff when you’re feeling so tight in your chest trying to make something happen. You’re missing stuff that’s happening with them.

And then number five is fear of risking the relationship. And that is coming from a desire to be liked, a fear of being wrong, a fear of making someone mad, a fear of confrontation, all of those things. If you’re risking the relationship and you’re not committed to the transformation, you’re going to potentially miss out on changing someone’s life and giving them the opportunity for their life to be changed.

Okay, so those are the five things. Lack and fear, mind chatter, inconsistent belief in results, attached to the outcome, and fear of risking the relationship. So I want you to just think about this this week. Next week, I’m going to continue talking about this concept because I do think it’s deep and I think it’s the work that we have to do as coaches. And so next week we’re going to dive into it from a different angle and I’m really going to show you how your mind and your thoughts, positive and negative influence the sales conversation and not in a good way.

So stay tuned next week. I’m so excited. I’ll see you then.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.

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