Ep #223: Intentional Feelings with Sara Fisk

Welcome to the Make Money as a Life Coach® podcast where sales expert and master coach Stacey Boehman teaches you how to make your first 2K, 20K, and 200K using her proven formula.

Hey coaches, welcome to episode 223. Today I have a 200K Mastermind student, Sara Fisk, on the podcast. And we’re going to talk about intentional feeling and how she has used her feelings, her emotions to access something I teach called intentional thought creation and to be very forward thinking. So I’m so excited about that, but of course, while I have you I’m also going to ask you about money and all parts of your journey as well so everyone can glean some things from you and some thoughts and take them with them moving forward in the future. So are you ready?

Sara: Let’s do it. I’m so excited. I’ve actually been thinking, I hope she asks me about more than just intentional feeling creation because I have a lot to say.

Stacey: Yeah, so good. And you probably know already that at the end of the episode I also ask if there’s anything that we haven’t covered. So if you have lots to say, get ready, they have lots of time to hear you. Okay, so let’s just start with, introduce yourself. Who do you coach? How much money have you made, let’s just say, in the last 12 months? Yeah, we’ll go from there, let’s do that.

Sara: I’m Sara Bybee Fisk. I am a Master Certified coach and instructor. I teach women how to stop people pleasing and pefectionating when it’s getting in the way of the way they want to live their lives. They want to live it for themselves. They’ve been living it for other people for a long time. I coach one-to-one and I also have a group that is actually launching at the end of April.

Stacey: So fun.

Sara: So that’s what I do, yeah, those are the basics.

Stacey: And how much money did you make in the last 12 months?

Sara: Oh, yes, I’m right about 230, 230,000 for the last 12.

Stacey: So fun. And can I ask you about, you came into 200K, you were contracting for The Life Coach School a lot. It was a predominant part of your business. And then you’ve since made the transition, maybe to mostly building your own business. Can you talk about that?

Sara: I love that you asked me that. I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. I was given an amazing opportunity to be a scholars coach which is a program that The Life Coach School operates where you’re just coaching in 20 minute segments, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And I looked at it as like a paid internship, I was like, “This is fantastic.”

Stacey: Yes, so good.

Sara: I mean it wasn’t a lot. I think I got paid $30 an hour which is fantastic, but also I wanted to make more than that. But I thought, this is a paid internship. I’m going to do it for a year. But then that led to other opportunities to teach coach certification and some other small classes. And now I do a couple of scholars calls which is large group coaching calls four or five times a year in sometimes some special projects.

But what I learned, I actually got some fantastic coaching by another member of the 200K group in my first round. And she basically said, “Look, it’s fine that you’re working for the school but just know that whatever part of your brain is tied up working for someone else, that part of your brain is not available for your own business or to learn the skills to develop your own business.”

Stacey: So good. Yeah, so this is interesting for everyone listening. First of all, can we just talk about how this was not available or that I didn’t know this when I got certified. And I actually now have coaches who coach for me in the 200K Mastermind, they do one-on-one coaching that’s very similar. So this idea of a paid internship or even a well-paid coaching position, these were not available at least that I knew of whenever I started. So I think it’s the most brilliant thing ever.

I think people are so lucky to get certified with the school and have that opportunity. Or if you come through and you get to coach for me or any other coach and you get paid to do that while you grow your skill, build your confidence and build your, at that time it was probably more like a side hustle. But when you build that up and you sign those first few clients, I just think there is not a better win/win situation, a better circumstance you could put yourself in to do that when you’re starting out.

And if you want to be an entrepreneur, what the 200K person said to you is so spot on and so brilliant that there becomes a time where you are signing enough clients or making more money in your own business than you are contracting for someone else, anyone else, even me. And you have to make that decision of do I want to start dropping hours so that I can increase hours in my business? I don’t even think it’s necessarily, I’m curious about you if you just dropped everything all at once and stopped coaching.

Or if you said, “Hey, I need less and less hours.” Or how did that transition work for you?

Sara: It’s a great question. I also had some corporate clients at the time. So I was one of those people who came in as an underdog with six different offers.

Stacey: Yes, I remember this actually. Okay.

Sara: Yeah. And so I got coaching in our breakout group, second round because that’s when those came into existence, to drop my corporate clients. That was the first thing I did, but I got the coaching. I went right back to my hotel room. I bawled my eyes out. And then I sent them both emails, ‘We’re going to wrap up this project and then I will no longer be working for you’. So I took it in baby steps. I really am a fan of doing it at the pace that you can handle it.

Stacey: Yes, it’s so good. Me too.

Sara: Because it’s overwhelming both ways, do I keep working for this person and giving them my time or do I take that time on myself and learn to build with that time?

Stacey: That’s so good. Okay, so for everyone listening, that’s the distinction. It’s not even that, you have to realize you’re taking that time on yourself for your business and that comes with a different discomfort, right?

Sara: Totally, because what you’re now asking is do I trust myself to do my business building with my time or am I reliant? And see, I love both but when you work for someone else, they structure your time. They tell you what to do with that time. So when you take that back, do I trust myself to do what I want to do with this time? And there’s a lot of overwhelm there. And so that’s why I’m really a fan of doing it at your pace. So the first thing, I cut the corporate clients loose. And then there were just a lot of changes at The Life Coach School with the way they do certification.

And so in some ways the decision was made for me that I wouldn’t be participating as a certification teacher anymore because they just didn’t need so many. And then I was like, “Oh.” Because I will say this, when I was getting that coaching about part of my brain not being available for my own business, I just kind of nodded my head and I was like, “Yeah, that makes sense.” I did not understand what it meant until I ended my work with The Life Coach School and I had all this time and brain space of, this is what she meant. This is what she meant.

I just don’t have the list of things to do in my head for them anymore. I don’t have the literal spots on my calendar that used to be taken up by working for the school. And I loved my work for the school. So it was a combination of sadness, but also, oh, that’s what she meant.

Stacey: That’s so good too because the other thing is, and I just want to acknowledge you for making that jump because I was thinking about this just in general, going to work for someone else versus going to work for yourself. Or doing best of both worlds until you can take incremental steps to go out on your own. But when you contract for someone else you have probably an interview, maybe an audition of some sort. And then you have a direct line to exactly what you love to do. And then if you decide to work for yourself you have a very indirect line towards doing what you love to do.

And you have to develop a bunch of skill sets and do a bunch of work in between you and getting to do what you love to do that maybe you don’t love to do. But then the reward, I think, I’m curious what you think is just so much more rewarding if you desire to be an entrepreneur to steward your own business and coach people on only the thing you want to coach on always. And to develop your own business and be a CEO as well. But it’s the CEO part that people, I don’t think are 100% prepared for.

They’re down to be coaching, they’re excited to coach, but they’re like, “I also have to run a business, I can’t just show up and that person’s doing all those things for me. They’re finding the clients. They’re scheduling. They’re calendaring all of that stuff. And now that free time, I have to do that.”

Sara: You know better than anyone, all new coaches say, “I just want to coach.” And yeah, we want you to coach and in the beginning you spend a fraction of your time actually coaching if you’re entrepreneuring 100%. Then you spend the bulk of your time finding the people to coach. And it can feel overwhelming, it can feel frustrating, it can feel like I’m not getting it, especially when you’re looking around at other coaches who are coaching more than you are.

And if you don’t have that vision of eventually I’m going to fill up this pool with people and it will shift. I will get to do more of what I love, which is coaching, and I will develop the skills. Because here’s the other thing, I thought in the beginning, I just want to hire someone to do my marketing for me. How can they market?

Stacey: Don’t do it.

Sara: One of my favorite things that…

Stacey: But wait, what was the question you were going to say? How can they market, what was the thought that you were having?

Sara: How can they market what I don’t give them to market? And how can I give them anything when I don’t have it in my own brain? And so my brain went immediately to the thing that has probably been the most transformational for me is PSPR because it forces your brain to put into words what you do. You can’t hand that off to someone else.

Stacey: Why can’t they know that for you? Because I think what people think when they’re going to, “I need to hire a marketing person”, they think they’re going to do that hard work for me. They’re going to develop my messaging. They’re going to explain to people what I do. And so I think there’s even a misunderstanding, like what you’re saying is, yeah, but you have to be able to explain to the marketing people what you do otherwise they can’t do their job. And if they try to do, this is my interpretation of what you do, it’s going to be wrong.

Sara: It’s going to be very coach speak like I will help you transform and uplevel your life, which nobody buys that. What they buy is on a Tuesday you will have the freedom to take time for yourself and do something that truly nourishes your own soul because you have finally learned that you belong in your own life. And until I figure out how to say that, I can’t teach someone else that that’s what I do.

Stacey: And even just the energy of what you do. So I was just coaching in Two Million Dollar Group this morning and one of my clients, Serena, she coaches, she has a program called Boom Boom Room. And she coaches on money mindset. And she just started running ads and they went really, really well, but she was frustrated that the ad copy came back to her and they were selling her as, what did she say? Something like, “Mystic money mindset makeover”, or something. She was like, “What is this?”

And I was like, “Oh, no, they can’t ever write copy for you, no, never, never, never.” Because the way that they saw her and the way they were describing it was not, and you know Serena, even remotely close to who she is in business. And so I just, I love that you say that. You have to figure it out yourself. It’s painful and it is the predominant way you’re going to spend your time in your business.

Sara: But it’s a skill that will serve you endlessly. And that’s, to me, my thought about copy is copy is love. Copy is how I show that I love you and I understand you. And it’s how you decide, you the client, if I’m the right one for you. And so we have this relationship through my copy of, are you a match for me? Am I a match for you? And I love thinking about it that way instead of, gosh, I’ve got to write and say what I do because when copy is love that’s a hugely motivating thing for me.

Stacey: Yeah. People always laugh that I met my husband on Tinder, I did, but copy is love. I literally went on there. I was not looking for hookups. I literally came up with all the ways I could meet guys, all the ways that I could connect with different people. I did them all. I approached it like my business, I’m going to do everything I can to make this result happen for myself. And in my bio I was super specific with who I am, what I was looking for, just the message I put out there.

I got some guys that were, they weren’t necessarily looking for hookups, but the way they would talk to me, I’d be like, “What do they think this is?” But for the most part I actually did attract a lot of people who wanted to date and were looking for relationships and were not looking for hookups and I met Neil on that. So I think it’s so powerful, it really is just what you said about showing people, am I for you, are you for me.

That really is what it is and the clearer you can be, whether it’s in your Tinder copy or your emails. You really can bring in the ideal partner or the ideal client with the words that you put out into the world.

Sara: Absolutely. And when you bring in those ideal clients, those are the coaching relationships that just make all of it worth it, because you have someone that knows you are for them and you know they are for you. And you’re like, “Let’s get to work.”

Stacey: That reminds me of when Hallah said on stage at this last event, I know that a lot of people, I don’t know that they had an issue that I was pregnant but just coincided with my maternity leave, giant bad publicity. And she’s like, “So I know a lot of people of your best clients left you during that time.” And she was like, “But I found you during that time and I signed up with you because you were having a baby.” And I bawled my eyes out on stage. It just occurred to me that that is always the case.

When we’re just not filtering ourselves and showing up and getting our message out and being who we are. That is going to bring the best clients. And having her say that to me was just so rewarding to be like, anyone who saw me pregnant and didn’t think I’m going to get less of her because she’s having a baby, but thought, this is my girl. I’m like, “Oh my God, I will literally give them everything of me that I possibly can in a coaching relationship to make sure they succeed. “Because that’s so powerful to know that you could work with people like that.

Sara: And that kind of buy-in is what leads to transformation. That kind of buy-in from the coach of I know who I am, I know what I’m capable of helping you create. And from the client of, I know who you are and what you’re capable of helping me create. And those two things come together and that’s the magic.

Stacey: So good. So you have to have time to do that. It’s painful to figure it out, but it has to come from you, has to come from your brain. There’s no other way to do it. That’s it. And I will say, there will become a point where copy and creating content feels like coaching, you get the same, I don’t know if you’ve had that experience yet. But I was thinking a lot about that, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been creating a ton of content, ton of sales stuff and video content to put out for ads and just everything.

And I have been so in love with my business and it has really felt like all I’m doing is coaching in all different flavors. And I think there’s a point at which the copy stops stressing you out to where you could actually feel that way.

Sara: Yeah. I am almost there. I am headed there.

Stacey: So good. So good.

Sara: And where I feel most competent and confident is speaking out loud. So a lot of the times I will speak a bunch of things into my recorder and then go write them.

Stacey: So good.

Sara: Because I just think if I feel good talking, just talk. And then you can put it into paragraphs and sentences and stuff.

Stacey: That is a brilliant hack. Oh my God, I love that, so good. Yes, everybody should do that, okay, if you are confident in your speaking skills. And listen, I will say almost the opposite of myself, I’m more confident I think in my writing skills. I have lots of things that happen in my brain, including social anxiety when I’m talking, even on interviews or if I’m talking on stage or whatever. There’s so many times where I say stuff and I’m like, “Stace, for real, why do you do that?”

But when I’m writing I get to control that. I get to control maybe the weird things I would say or just things that are happening in my brain when I’m talking at the same time. So I prefer to write so everyone’s always so, they can’t believe that I type out all of my podcasts and I read them basically. There is sometimes where it’s more loose notes than others. But I like to just look at my words and then make them conversational versus the opposite, but it’s whatever works for you.

Find the way to get the most natural message out of your brain for you and then convert it into the other forms that people interact with it.

Sara: Well, and we need to just say how well you are at writing because I joined 200K after reading one email.

Stacey: I know. I always think about that and I’m so blown away by that.

Sara: Yeah. It was one email where I joined your list to kind of just watch how you communicate, more as a study of your communication style than any intent to join the program. But I read one email and I was like, “Wait a second, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”

Stacey: So good.

Sara: And I felt like you were speaking directly to me. And I was like, “Yeah.” And it was the day before I jumped on, I was like, “I think I’m doing this right. Here’s my video.” And then that was it. And when it came back that I was an underdog, I’m like, “I don’t know what an underdog is.” I knew nothing. I hadn’t been in 2K yet.

Stacey: How much money had you made when you first applied?

Sara: I had made 25,000, so I was right in there.

Stacey: So good. And was that all in contract work or did you have your own clients too?

Sara: That’s a really great question.

Stacey: Do you even remember?

Sara: It was probably mostly contract work because at the time I had essentially what is a non-compete with The Life Coach School. I couldn’t coach their clients on my own. I might have had one or two. I charged $25 a session when I first started. And so I probably had a couple of my own clients but at $25 a session you’re not getting to 25K really fast, so I had probably some of each.

Stacey: So good. I love that. Okay, so let’s talk about intentional feeling creation. So first of all I have to just say, for everyone listening, Sara pitched me to come on the podcast. And in a rare, a rare occurrence I was like, “Hell yeah.” And I want to just say why. Number one, because it’s very hard to pitch and get on my podcast because I only interview students. I typically only interview people once they’ve made 200K, which you have. But then there used to be a time where in 200K, if someone hit 200K it was a big deal. It didn’t happen as often because the group was smaller.

And so we’d be like, “Okay, this is the next person to have on.” But now so many people are doing it that I can’t get to everybody unless I have an interview every single week and I never do my own standalone content, there just, it’s backed up. So that is not 100% shoe-in anymore. But if you do pitch content or you do pitch to come on, you have to have something super valuable to talk about. And you have to be a current student. And you have to be an example of the work.

I have to know that what you’re going to say is going to land with people because I see you showing up that way in the group. I know that you’re in transformation. I know you’re getting results. So I know that you are an example of who someone’s trying to be, no matter what the topic is, no matter what your expertise is in your own business or in the mastermind. You have to have all of the things. So you sent the email and I was like, “This is brilliant.” Because I’m a feeling person too. So I’m really excited to have this conversation.

It’s interesting that I even called it intentional thought creation and went that way because, and I do think that’s the way I approached it. So I’m curious to see how you’ve approached it. I want to just hear all of your thoughts about it. But I do tend to be a feeling person. I do tend to be someone who when I can access that. Or I was using this example the other day. I sometimes struggle to find the thought that’s ailing me. I experience a lot of anxiety and I’ll just feel really heavy and not know why. But if I can pinpoint the emotion specifically, the very specific one, typically it’s always interesting to me.

Number one, I’m like, “I didn’t realize it was that emotion.” And then when I ask myself what’s causing that emotion, that specific one, I’ll find the thought and sometimes it’s like, I gave this example, it could be that I had logged onto Facebook three hours earlier to look and see what’s going on in 200K Mastermind. And what was up on the news feed as soon as I logged in, between going to 200K was something my brain clocked and registered and was stressed out about. It could be sick animals, someone attacking the coaching industry, a super negative just post in general.

It could be world news, anything, but I clocked that. And then I have the emotion in my body. And so for me, sometimes it’s identifying the emotion so that I can figure out the thought. I am big on growing the emotion of where I’m going and figuring out the how and the thinking later and just kind of going towards that feeling, but I’ve never taught it this way. So I want to hear everything about this for myself and for everybody else. And I want to say just ahead of time, this is the power of the 200K Mastermind.

You guys are always doing this. You’re doing this in the group focus times and you’re doing this in breakout sessions or peer sessions. And you guys post in the group, that you come up with these things that are so like someone said, Paige came up with this insane way to teach intentional thought creation. And everyone was like, “I’ve got to have the video from it.” And she posted the video. And so I just want to say, you guys are the reason the room is so valuable.

This stuff right here is something that’s such a byproduct of all of these brains coming together and this is the definition of masterminding is when you come up with something that I haven’t come up with based on just being in the room and the process. And then you add value to the process from here on out forever. It’s so great.

Sara: It’s such an incredible chemistry. I signed up to be coached by you, but I mean maybe have I talked to you about my business a handful of times? It’s not a lot. The chemistry of the brilliance of the other coaches who are in the room and the level of sharing, the level of helping each other’s businesses. That’s actually why I’m on your podcast is, I was talking with some other coaches about, they said, “You need to do some ITC on that.” I said, “I do it a little differently.” They’re like, “Well, how do you do it?” “Well, I start with a feeling.”

And then I explained my process and they’re like, “What? You have to tell Stacey about this immediately.” And I was like, “Really? Is it that?” They’re like, “Yes.” Because sometimes when we just do something as a matter of course, I’ve been doing it for several years this way.

Stacey: You don’t even notice.

Sara: You don’t even notice. You don’t even notice.

Stacey: Yeah, so good. Okay, so before you dive in I actually just thought, maybe for people who are listening to this episode, maybe as one of their first episodes or they started after I recorded the episode on Intentional Thought Creation, let’s just give them a refresher on that first so that they know what we’re talking about when we say that. So I’ll say my little spiel and then if I miss anything that’s relevant for you and how you’ve approached this, you fill in the gaps for sure.

But if you have not listened to the Intentional Thought Creation and you’re listening to this episode right now with Sara and I. I developed Intentional Thought Creation as a way to use my brain for myself instead of against myself when it comes to creating things, new things, goals. So the example I give always is when I created 2K for 2K in my mastermind, we came up with the process and the branding and the marketing and all the things. And it was so different than anything I’d ever done that my brain was just screaming at me, all the ways it wouldn’t work, all the things I didn’t know.

All my feelings about what people would buy and wouldn’t buy, and that they wouldn’t buy 2K for 2K. And so I gave myself two weeks and I only allowed myself to ask, “Why is this amazing? Why is this going to benefit my clients more than what I’m doing now? Why is this impactful to the coaching industry? Why is this different than what other people are seeing, so why will it work better?” All of those things, what do I know on how to move forward? How do I agree that this is the best move for me? What are the agreements I have with everybody and everything that was said in the room?

There’s disagreements, but there are also agreements, so let’s start with those. Our brains are so trained to go one way, go down the road of here’s all the things why it won’t work, what I don’t know, where I’m confused, all of that and let’s entertain that. And then from that place we try to pull ourselves into believing something new. And it’s really painful and really hard. But if we just mine what we already have, where we agree, what we know, why it’s great and we start there. And then from there attack the places that we don’t believe and work on our unintentional thinking.

And build belief on top of that. It’s like the evaluation, when you focus on what works before what doesn’t work, you have so much more brain power, so much more energy. Your body is in a more receptive open place than when you are in resistance and closed off and unable to even hear. I get so resistant sometimes, I’m unable to hear what’s being said around me. And so this was a way for me to just train myself to always go there now in my brain just in life in general. I am the super anxious, super resistant person so I’ve trained my brain to do that, to go there.

So curious if you have anything to add on that and then I want to hear about this intentional feeling creation.

Sara: What I love about having both, intentional feeling creation and intentional thought creation is I think of it like doors in. It’s another way in. And this actual thought creation really works because in the beginning you run it like tech, setting up tech, getting things to work and talk to each other. It was a really big challenge for me. And my favorite ITC was, what’s easy right now? What’s easy? I know you don’t think you can get this tech piece to work but can you find the customer service number? That’s easy, I can do that.

Can you call the customer service number? That’s easy, I can do that. So having the thought door and the feeling door just gives you more ways in to go in the direction that you really want to be going, so that’s why it really is helpful.

Stacey: So good. Yes, okay, so tell us about entering the door from your feelings.

Sara: I noticed early on in my own coaching that I was borrowing feelings. And what I mean by that is I would be coaching someone either for the school and I would begin to be bored listening to them or start to go somewhere else in my brain. And I began to borrow, the love I have for my children, the love I have for my friends to, what if I felt that for this person?

And I would borrow that feeling and I didn’t really realize I was doing this, but I would bring it into my body and I take a deep breath and then I could feel that feeling in the coaching session where previously I was bored or frustrated or something else that I didn’t want. And so once I realized, that’s how I’m doing this, I’m like, “What if I could do this for my business?”

Stacey: It’s so good.

Sara: Today is, I’m feeling some frustration, I’m feeling some incapability, I’m feeling some hopelessness. That’s part of it for sure. And I’m not suggesting this as a bypass for emotions, but in the moment when you really want to be feeling something different and you like your reasons for that, it all started as borrowing emotions from other places.

Stacey: So good. I love this. So once you’re in that emotion then you can approach whatever it is, whatever, if it’s a problem or a goal or whatever it is, you can approach that from that emotion?

Sara: Yeah. So the feeling that I borrowed a lot was satisfaction. One of my favorite things to feel, satisfied.

Stacey: Tell me more.

Sara: Satisfied at the end of a workday. Satisfied with figuring out how to get Acuity to talk to my Google Calendar, or whatever, gosh all those million tech things that we figure out. And I feel there are so many areas of my life that were so full of satisfaction, I would remember that emotion in that circumstance, feel it in my body and then it’s almost like I would make my brain pivot. Okay, now that I have satisfaction in my body, my business. I’m going to bring my business in as the circumstance. Now what do I have to believe about my business to maintain this feeling of satisfaction?

Stacey: That’s so good. Okay, I was thinking as you were talking, if I do this, or how it shows up for me. And you’re right, I totally do this. So I’m in a phase in my business where things feel really hard, harder maybe than they have ever felt ever for many, many reasons. But one of them, I just brought on a new C Suite position. He was a fractional VP for us and now he’s our Chief Technology Officer. And we have really big goals. For him, he was like, “I’m really not interested in 30 million. I don’t care about 30 million. I’m more interested in 100 million.”

So we’ve really been shifting our focus to creating $100 million business and not holding so tight to 30 million. Just 30 million will be the result of doing the things for 100 million, just doing it along the way. But it’s been really big things that have to change. We just got off a call before this and I had identified we’ve been using some million dollar strategies that works at a million dollars and we kept using them at $10 million. And they just keep effing breaking everywhere. And it’s just so miserable for me, my team, everything.

And so there’s a lot of days where I feel like I take five steps forward and then 10 back. And it’s like a feeling of despair. And he was saying, I forgot the quote he said but it really landed. He was like, “You’re in a place where you’re investing and exerting a lot of effort with no return.” And that is really painful. If you’re listening to this and you are in that phase where you are putting out so much marketing and you haven’t signed your first client. He said, “When the result feels disproportionate to the effort you’re putting out, it’s really painful.”

And so I am experiencing that. I have never worked harder in my life. I am seriously sometimes still work five days a week, I’m back to working more time to get a handle on things. And so I feel this disproportionate and it comes as despair and frustration and almost like, what’s that feeling of when you just think it’s never going to end? I guess that is despair. So I’ll get into that place and it’s not satisfaction for me, it’s sufficiency I think, maybe. Maybe it’s satisfaction, maybe it’s sufficiency, but I go to, how is everything perfect right now?

And every time, I think of my son and I’m like, “If I can just anchor to the feeling I have when I’m with my kid and the feeling I have of him being in my life and the feeling I have of having him after wanting him for so long.” You probably even just hear it in my voice just now, it calms me down so much and fills my body with insane amounts of love and appreciation and having and sufficiency. And then it makes all the business stuff seem so much smaller. And from that place when the problem seems small I’m like, “Okay, this is what we’re doing. This is how we’re approaching it.”

And it just feels, it zaps me completely out of despair and then I can start building a higher belief in myself and my business and the effort we’re putting in and the results that will come from it, just from that little shift.  So I think that’s what you’re saying.

Sara: Yes. And there are two things that you said that I just really wanted to comment on. We don’t ever know what is happening on some parallel track in the universe that’s right next to us. We just don’t see it yet. So the whole time when you’re writing your Tinder copy, Neil was out there in the world on a parallel track deciding, and you didn’t know until your paths converged. But all of that was happening for you at the very same time. And what I think intentional feeling creation allows us to do is not avoid the negative, but bring an equal serving of the positive to bear on the same situation.

Yes, there’s days when you feel despair. There’s days when it’s frustrating, but when you can bring in an emotional state that you enjoy and that gives you perspective and that calms you, now you just have more options as well.

Stacey: Yes. And something you said also reminds me, I don’t know if you’ve ever read Joe Dispenza’s work. I think it was him, that he talks about how everything you ever wanted is available in the world. And it is almost all around you. And you just don’t have access to it until you step into its energetic force field. And that was, when you said, things are always running parallel, it’s almost like imagine there are seven lanes or 10 lanes of bowling. And you’re bowling whatever, I’m not a good bowler. I never bowl, I don’t know why I chose this analogy.

And now I’m in it so we’re just going to keep going. But it’s like in that next lane there’s completely different results available to you. And all it requires, getting into that next lane, you can get into it with your brain or you can get into it with your emotions. But then you see so much more available to you. I was just coaching with my one-on-one coach and I was talking to her, so I just filmed the Two Million Dollar Group content. I’d filmed for a week but I created content for a week. And then over the last two days I wrote the entire marketing. I created a webinar for it, everything.

It’s the first full launch I’m ever going to do for Two Million Dollar Group, which is so crazy because I’ve been running this group for years. And I was telling my coach, I said, “Oh, I totally see now why this group has not grown for two years in a big way.” I literally didn’t let people join. For two years I was just like, “No, you can’t join.” I was telling her a story about someone who reached out to me and they were like, “Hey, I think you’re my next mentor. I want to make $10 million.” And I was like, “Oh, no, no, no, that’s not me. We can be friends, we can hang out but that’s not me.”

And so now I’m in this such a different place, I told her, I was like, “Can’t describe it, I don’t have specific thoughts necessarily that have changed, but my body feels so different that I can tell why it didn’t scale before. I can tell you exactly the feeling. I can tell you who I was before. I can tell you who I am now, the feeling I have. And there just seems to be an opening of now I’m ready to receive money in this way. Now I’m ready to receive more clients, more interest. I’m ready and open to receiving that and I feel it in my body.”

And I was like, “I’m still working on formulating the words but I just know it doesn’t matter what I do from here on out, I’m going to have different results because I energetically am more open to it and I feel so different around it.” And it’s not even something I’m having to try to create, it’s just there. And so I also think that that’s a piece of, if you think about the long term money you want to make, the long term goals you want to create, the more you can access the emotions of those even if you don’t have the words to formulate it, even if you don’t have the how.

You’re just putting your body in a space where you’re in the lane, you’re open to receiving it. And from that place you’re also going to have different thoughts. You’re going to come up with different things to try, different things to do, different ideas. It’s going to connect you with different people. And then everything changes.

Sara: What you said just really lands with me because I, for a long time I feel like I lived disconnected from my body. I was just up here in my head where it was logical, where I could make it make sense, where there were facts, where I could research. And coming to coaching and especially through The Life Coach School, the model is based on cognitive behavior which also tends to be brain heavy. But noticing, one of the most brilliant things for me that Brooke has ever said, “Is the only reason we do anything is because of how we want to feel.”

And I really believed that. I was like, “Well, how do I want to feel?” And I found there’s this whole body below my chin that has valuable information for me. I can know things in my heart that I don’t know in my head. I can know things in my gut that I don’t know in my head. And finding this vast reservoir of really essential information for me about things that make me angry about things that make me sad, about things that bring me joy, about things that bring me satisfaction. Working with my feelings has been one of the most powerfully transformative things I’ve done.

So that’s why this intentionally creating the feeling that I want, I’ve just gotten so much mileage out of it because not only does it just feel so good, but it actually gives me more information.

Stacey: Yeah, so good. So two things that came up that I think would be helpful to tell people. So I’m so glad you brought this up, is if you are listening to this and you’re like, “I have no idea how to approach feelings in my body. I’ve never done that. I don’t have any idea what you guys are talking about.” I just want to offer that from my experience, you can say what you think, but I really think if you want to start getting into your body and using feeling work, the first thing you have to do, I wouldn’t even worry about creating new feelings yet.

I would just be in your body at any given moment and ask yourself, “What’s the vibration happening right now? In any given moment, it literally, it could be good or bad, just noticing throughout the day, what’s happening in your body. For some people it’s easier to identify. When I get on 2K calls, this happens a lot where people can’t really tell me what’s happening. And I’m like, “Okay, is it in your chest? Is it in your shoulders? Is it in your stomach? Where do you feel the ick in your body? Can you just identify the location of it? Is it just sweaty? Is it in your head, your face or your cheeks?

Where is it in your body?” That’s the first step even if you’re like, “But even once I know I still can’t tell you what’s happening.” That’s fine, just stick with that for a whole week always just knowing. I’m in my body and my shoulder, I’m in my body and my stomach right now. My body is whatever’s happening it’s showing up in my face. It’s showing up in my legs. I have a sensation, any time someone gets hurt or gets close to an edge, my whole legs go tingly and numb and I lose all focus. So it doesn’t even matter what, just where is it at my body?

Then the next step would be trying to name that emotion or describing it. Is it fast? Is it slow? Is it hot? Is it cold? Is it heavy? All of those things, just getting used to what’s happening. What is actually physically or sensationally happening? Then could I name that with an emotion, with a one word emotion? Or if I can’t, could I name the thinking that’s creating that vibration? That’s really the first step is just getting to know your body. I think that’s so powerful, there’s so much happening below our chin. I love that. There is so much happening down there.

And it is such a guidepost for not just where you are but where you’re going and where you’ve been. You can just know so much about you from what’s happening in your body. And then when you have that better grasp of, I understand what a feeling feels like in my body to me, not saying anyone, but to me. Then you could play around with pulling up new emotions. Or you could do that even in the beginning as well with just thinking about what’s a memory that I know brings joy to my body? What’s a memory that I know doesn’t bring joy to my body?

What brings anger? What brings sadness? What brings grief? You can also pull memories that will create a reaction in your body and notice that reaction and be like, “What’s happening here?” That is the way, I mean just for everyone listening I think that could be super useful. I don’t know if you have anything that you want to add but I know for people that they’re like, “What are we talking about?” Give them some tangible pieces.

Sara: Yeah, in the beginning I really had to actively work to create, I call it just a gracious state because I would feel something and like, “Why am I feeling that? That’s dumb, I shouldn’t be feeling that.” And that kind of judgment will actually mask your emotions because now your brain is caught up in the judgment and you can’t feel the emotions. So feeling some basic graciousness, that feels maybe like anger and that’s okay. It’s okay to be angry. I just want to feel, like you said, name it.

I also love, I just take my hands and I put them somewhere on my body that feels loving, connected, presence. And I say, “I’m here, I’m listening. I’m listening. And anything you have to say I want to hear it.” And I’m literally speaking to my emotions in my body because I want a conversation between my brain and my heart and my gut. I’m listening, what is it, what do you think that is? And you’re right, in the beginning this is a skill and a practice but to identify it, to name it and to just breathe with some gracious acceptance of this is what is happening right now.

Stacey: And I think that that’s true for literally every stage of where you are. I am so big on, two things that came to mind is I am so big on just because we’re life coaches doesn’t mean we’re not human. And the human experience is 50/50. So at least half of the time you will be feeling negative and sometimes your life is disproportionate. Sometimes you’re going to be experiencing a lot of circumstances or a lot of thinking or a lot of emotions that you can’t get out of, you’re going to be in holes. You’re going to be in situations.

And it’s going to be more like 80/20 and if that is you that’s listening because I get a lot of 2K people that are also experiencing that. And some people in 200K too. Someone posted the other day and was like, “I feel like Stacey’s going to kick me out because I’m so negative or something.” And the thing that I think is so important to know is I think when I talk about being an example of what’s possible or being a product of your product, I don’t always mean that you need to be positive Polly all the time. I think you can make a lot of money feeling negative if you’re just allowing the emotion.

The resistance to the emotion, the not wanting to feel it, the judging yourself, the not being gracious, that just creates a chain reaction that makes it difficult for you to produce useful results from the efforts you put out. It’s not that it’s even wrong, it’s just when you’re in resistance your decision making isn’t as great. Your action taking isn’t as potent. So you don’t get the results that you want. So if you’re feeling grief or despair or anger, you’re a human. That’s okay, you don’t need to judge it. Having that graciousness, just being a human, that allows that.

You just open up to that to walk around into the world is still being a product of your product and you can make a lot of money doing that. Because my first year of my business, my whole life was just crumbling around me. And I used to think, what of value do I have to offer anyone? And the answer that I always came up with is I’m still here. I’m still kicking. I’m still moving forward. I am living an experience where I’m allowing whatever’s coming up in my body to be there. I’m living an experience of allowance, not resistance.

And that has, even just going from resistance to allowance, there are worlds apart results that are available, just having that shift. So I think that’s important to say. And I will say for anyone in 200K who thinks I’m going to kick you out because you’re too negative. We had a virtual bachelorette party for me when my wedding was canceled with COVID. And they did this thing where they were like, “Go around the room and say one thing you love about Stacey.” And everybody said the same thing which was, “I can be whoever I am and however I feel around Stacey and she never needs me to be different.”

And I think that when you do that for yourself, I never, you can ask all my friends, I do not walk around and have any expectation, I don’t have any expectation of myself that I need to be a certain way because I’m a life coach. I just am who I am. And there are negative parts of me. And if you’re my friend or my family or my loved one, you have to accept that.

And because I walk around with that acceptance of myself and that graciousness that you talked about, I am able to extend that to people around me in such a big way that they feel they can be themselves around me. Sometimes for the first time ever they’re like, “You’re the only person that I can really just be me and I don’t have to be anything and it’s just fine. I know if I have dinner plans with you, and I’m having the worst shitty day ever, it’s going to be totally fine. You’re the one person I’m glad I have dinner plans with.”

And so I think that that’s so important, that graciousness or compassion or acceptance that you can give yourself, that’s also a really good place to start.

Sara: Yeah. A lot of people don’t have compassion for their feelings in the beginning. So we start with graciousness. Is graciousness accessible for you? And what I love about what you said is that our capacity to feel and to honor our feelings is exactly the capacity we have for others. And so that affects our relationships, but as a coach you cannot coach your clients past where you are.

Stacey: Yes. Yes.  To just highlight that, so good.

Sara: Because you’ve never been there. You’ve never been there. And so the capacity that you develop within yourself becomes a valuable commodity in your coaching relationships, in your just regular life relationships. Because it’s expanded capacity for others’ humanness and it’s expanded capacity of the skills to coach them to experience something different.

Stacey: Yes. And listen, for everyone listening I know some of you all are going to hear what Sara said and use it against yourself. And you’re going to be like, “Well, I’m effed because I don’t know how to do that. So this is why I’m not making money and I’m never going to figure it out.” Don’t go there. This is an opportunity for intentional thought or feeling creation. This is an opportunity to say, “Oh my God, Sara just revealed to me why I’m not making money. Holy crap. I am so grateful I listened to this episode. I am so grateful I know that that’s the problem.

I am so grateful that they gave me a solution. And I know that if I just start working on it a little bit every single day, I’m going to get there.” And I always say, “You have to be willing to start where you are because it’s the fastest to get where you’re going.” Any other option, if you try to bypass where you are, you’re just going to make the trip take longer. So you’ve got to start where you are. Don’t use that against yourself, use that as they just revealed that’s it, I just know it, it’s in my soul.

So now I have to re-listen to this episode over and over and over and do what they say. And the better I get at it the more I’m going to be in the lane, I’m available to take my clients where I am.

Sara: One of my favorite things about you is the material that you made available in 2K because there is a picture of you doing a webinar that says, “I would rather be with my dog.”

Stacey: What?

Sara: I copied that picture and I put it on my desktop for a little while because it reminded me of where you started.

Stacey: So good.

Sara: Because I see you now and you’re not wearing that shirt anymore.

Stacey: It was a t-shirt?

Sara: It was a t-shirt, it said, ‘I would rather be with my dog’.

Stacey: Listen, this is a true statement always except now is I’d rather be with my baby.

Sara: Yeah, but for anyone who’s listening who’s like, “I’m never going to get there”, none of us started here. I literally resisted my own feelings for decades because I thought they’re bad and if I go in there I’m never going to come out.

Stacey: Yes, I think that too.

Sara: And so it’s a process and it’s a skill and it’s a work. And so when I started it was, I think I’m feeling sad. I don’t know, it doesn’t feel good. I could name my emotions as either good or bad in the beginning. And it’s the practice and skill of coming back to it and back to it and honoring it and being gracious with it and making space for it that builds capacity. And everyone has to do that in different places in their business. And so if you’re looking at you where you are now or me where I am now or anyone where they are now, none of us started here.

Stacey: Yeah, so good. I love that. There was something I was thinking about and I wanted to say really quick. You said, and I think so many people have this fear is if I go in I’m never coming out. I want to offer to all of you that have that thought because I hear that a lot, you’re already in there. You’re already in there. That’s already happening. The emotion’s in your body whether you acknowledge it or not, whether you give attention to it or not, it’s already happening.

And it goes back to when you’re not aware of it or when you’re resisting it or you’re shoving it down you are going to make different decisions and have different behaviors. It’s seriously, you could be marketing and doing all the marketing in the world and going out and meeting as many people as you want but the slightest lane change and just you opening up to allowing your emotions and then from that space, being willing to create some, to bring up some, that would mirror where you want to go or what you want to create, that work is literally the difference of you doing the exact same things but having completely different results.

And that’s true for me. Even the example of Two Million Dollar Group, I’m doing the exact same things I’ve always been doing but there’s something emotionally that’s opened up. I figured it out. The thought was just, who am I to be teaching people at millions of dollars? Even though I’ve helped so many people now become millionaires. I’ve helped people retire their husbands. I’ve helped people buy second homes. I’ve helped people do the most extraordinary things, but I was still, my self-concept hadn’t caught up, I mean for years, it’s ridiculous.

But I was just like, “No, this isn’t me. No, this isn’t me. Who am I?” And now I own the process and I literally created a different emotional state for myself where I’m like, “No, this is me. This is me and it’s really me.” There’s no one else. And so just that tiny shift I know is going to be a completely different business, a completely different coach, everything.

Sara: And those kind of shifts happen at all levels. I mean I just released a podcast a couple of months ago.

Stacey: So fun.

Sara: The Ex Good Girl Podcast. And I got a message from someone saying how much it literally transformed her life. And the same thing happened to me, I really am that person. So it happens at all levels when you are open to this transformative process and feelings are the magic.

Stacey: So good. So I just have two final questions for you so this is perfect. Actually one final question and one story or one thing I want you to just talk about. So the one thing I want you to talk about, I think, I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it this way is the example of you living the non-perfectionist life and not being a people pleaser is your husband wanting to come to Cabo with you. And you telling him no and your reasoning was so beautiful. So I wonder if you could share that story.

Sara: I love that you brought him up. He was one of the things that I thought about. The story is we’re going to Cabo, which Cabo, who doesn’t want to go to Cabo? And he said, “That’s awesome, I’ll just work with you that week, I’ll just stay in the hotel room.” And I said, “Actually you’re not invited.” He’s like, “Wait, what? Who is not inviting me?” I said, “Well, two people, Stacey’s not inviting you and I’m not inviting you.”

Stacey: So good.

Sara: And he just said, “What?” He said, “Honey.” So my husband is a brilliant guy in his own right. He did the traditional business school, starting his own software company. And he has had the benefit of mentors and friends, other, you know, his network that have really helped him. And he has had the benefit of all those friends who have really helped him and the network that’s really thrown gasoline on his fire. And I said, “This is my time. This is my peer group and I need all of myself to be in that room and I don’t want to worry about you. I don’t want to wonder what you’re doing.”

And so much of the magic that happens in the 200K room is after the day’s session is over and we’re talking and we’re coaching each other and our brains are continuing to work. I said, “I love you but I just don’t want anything to interrupt that process for me. This is for me. And I really need it to be for me.” And he said, “Okay.”

Stacey: I love that you had said, I don’t know if you just said it now, if I missed it but you said something about he has all the groups and you were like, “For me, as a woman, this is my group, this is my people.” And I just thought that was so powerful for you to recognize that, to say that. I don’t know, if Neil wanted to go somewhere I would have a hard time saying no to him. So I just thought that was, it was brilliant.

Sara: Yeah, it wasn’t easy, but I had already been, my first two events were live so I had never been in the room with anyone before Cabo. And there are men in the group and they contribute and it’s fantastic. There is something though about being in a room that is predominantly female, of so many women making so much money and being such incredible coaches. It is about the money, but it’s also not about the money. It’s about the chemistry and the magic and the seeing people at all these different places along the way.

And I just, I really wanted that and needed that for myself. I didn’t want it to be interrupted.

Stacey: Yeah, it’s so good. I really think it’s like, I’ve been trying to pinpoint this as well, that feeling of the room. I just think there’s not a lot of rooms that have as many, the volume of really good coaches and really good entrepreneurs. Those are two different things. And so they have, everyone in that room has that combination and is working towards that combination. And there happens to be a disproportionate big amount of women and I do think that’s important to have that space and to have that. We love the men, they’re so great and we don’t keep them out.

I don’t think it’s an over-feminine space where people could enjoy themselves. But I do think for women who are used to having businesses bases be mostly men and talk about things that maybe don’t affect them the same way, talking about being a mother and having to work and leave your kid and things like that. It’s important as an entrepreneur to be able to do that. So I wanted to ask you how they can connect with you. You already gave them your podcast name. So let’s do that is how they can connect with you.

And then the final question is just is there anything we didn’t cover that you wanted to tell them that you had planned to say?

Sara: Awesome. So I am on Instagram and Facebook, Sara Fisk Coaching. My group program launches at the end of April. You can find my podcast. My website is sarafisk.coach. Can you believe that .coach is now a website address? It’s fantastic.

Stacey: So good. Okay, is there anything that you had planned to talk about, planned to say that we haven’t covered yet?

Sara: Yeah, you brushed on it really briefly but there will be times when I will be either peer coaching in 200K or doing some business coaching for some of my clients. And my husband will say, “I just can’t believe how much you know about business.” This year I started coaching his employees.

Stacey: So fun.

Sara: In his software startup. And the education that I have received in 200K, it’s phenomenal. It leaves him speechless sometimes. I talk through his business issues with him all the time. I coach him on his…

Stacey: So good.

Sara: I mean this guy has been an entrepreneur for much longer than I have. And so that was just the one thing that I really wanted to thank you for and to make sure that you knew that it’s a first class business education.

Stacey: Yeah, I appreciate that. It’s so crazy, my CTO and my COO, they were like, he had watched the 200K live event in Cabo for the first time, he had just come on. And he was like, “I don’t really think you’re a life coach.” And he was like, “I think that you’re an entrepreneurship company. You’re a business and sales company teaching entrepreneurship to life coaches and you just happen to be a coach as well.” And I was like, “My God, I think you’re right.” And Michelle was laughing and she was like, “What? That’s always been the case. That’s always been what you do.”

But just having them reflect that back to me, I do think it’s, yes, there is, you get coached in the room. Yes, I am a coach so I have that ability to mind the thoughts and the feelings along with the strategy. But at the end of the day, I do think I’m teaching coaches how to be entrepreneurs. That’s what the 200K room is about.

Sara: 100%. I thought of one more thing that I’d love to just say.

Stacey: Yes.

Sara: This is my seventh round.

Stacey: So good.

Sara: When I went to Cabo this last time I thought, this is going to be a really good review for me, just a really good solid review. I was not prepared. Everything felt new. It’s like everything felt, the way you approached it, the way you talked about it, I felt blown away by how you are not reviewing old material with us round after round. You are creating new concepts, teaching some of the same things from different perspectives, different experiences that you have.

That’s what drove a lot of the content this last time. And it never feels like you review, it never feels old. It always just feels like exactly what I need.

Stacey: So good. Have you ever added up how much money you’ve made since you joined, in total how much coaching you’ve sold?

Sara: I did, it’s close to $800,000.

Stacey: That’s so good, because I know people are going to hear seven rounds, they’re going to add up the math of the investment and then be like, “Wait a minute.” And freak out, but they forget to add up the return. That’s a huge return on your investment.

Sara: It’s exactly what I did for my husband because…

Stacey: That’s so good.

Sara: Yeah, I mean it’s a big investment and I never want to pretend, it’s a big investment. But when you have that kind of return, I mean dah.

Stacey: It’s so crazy. You’re so close, having sold $1 million of coaching, that’s insane. I’m so happy for you when that happens.

Sara: Thank you.

Stacey: So good. Well, thank you for coming on. I know I probably made you a little late. We need to just start preparing people. I always go over and I always have a really open schedule. So thank you for coming on. Thank you for sharing. This was so good. People are going to freak out, I’m so grateful, so just a million times thank you.

Sara: I loved it. Thanks so much for having me.

Stacey: Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.

Sara: Alright, bye bye.

Stacey: Bye.

Hey, if you are ready to make money as a life coach, I want to invite you to join my 2K for 2K program where you’re going to make your first $2000, the hardest part, and then $200,000 using my proven formula. It’s risk-free. You either make your 2K or I give you your 2K back. Just head over to www.staceyboehman.com/2kfor2k. We’ll see you inside.